The Bet of the Year
by jarnsaxa
Summary: "It was the bet of the year... Roy Mustang against three people... Roy Mustang against piles of paperwork. Roy Mustang against sex." lots of UST, teasing & dirty tricks. torturing Roy ;-P  RoyxEd, other mentioned, yaoi. Spoilers for the first anime
1. Prolog

**Disclaimer**: fma doesn´t belong to me and unfortunately it most likely never will ;_;

**Summary**: "It was the bet of the year, though technically, it couldn´t even be called a bet anymore.  
It was more like a battle, one of the hardest battles he'd ever fought. Roy Mustang against three people. Roy Mustang against piles of paperwork. And Roy Mustang against sex."

**Warning**: be prepared for a lot of UST and teasing :D

(And I´ll be prepared to be threatened and cursed ;P)

Warnings may increase as the story continues.

**Another Warning:** ´s format options are c$%$%

**Notice**:

"Speaking'"

'Thinking'

_"Letters, reports etc...and…" _

A bit and fat thank you to ca11iope for the beta :-D I wouldn´t dare to put this in the net without you.

Enough a/n, enjoy!

-o-

**The Bet of the Year **

It was the bet of the year, though technically, it couldn´t even be called a bet anymore.  
It was more like a battle, one of the hardest battles he'd ever fought. Roy Mustang against three people. Roy Mustang against piles of paperwork. And Roy Mustang against sex.

Like any other man, except maybe a few poor souls who admitted their weakness, Roy was convinced that he was not a slave to his own body. He was certain that he was in perfect control of himself. After all, he was the famous Flame Alchemist, a man who had perfected one of the most dangerous forms of alchemy. Without his famous self control that would not have been possible.

And for that very reason, he was sure it wouldn´t be too hard to win this bet, even considering his opponents. Really, he would have thought that at least Hughes would have known better than to challenge him, though it didn´t surprise Roy that both Havoc and Hawkeye were participating. Not if one considered the wager and the terms of the bet. Roy had to grit his teeth at their blatant display of confidence. Confidence in the fact that Roy would never manage to hold out. Roy suspected that the only reason Hughes was involved – at least the only reason Roy could think of – must be that his friend was beginning to get desperate in his attempts to get Roy to marry. Maes was definitely jumping at the chance to hook Roy up with someone, even though he had to know that the chance of that actually happening was very small.

"Even smaller than Fullmetal." Roy mused, half amused and half disappointed that the person in question wasn't currently available to hear this particular insult. Well, perhaps Roy could store the slight away for future use. Hawkeye had mentioned that Edward was moving back to Central. Wait, he had already, since the team had been discussing the welcome back party the other day. Even through Roy had been invited, he'd skipped the chance to see his favourite target for insults. Maybe he should look the kid up, perhaps to catch up on this. Or maybe not. Fullmetal had always been able to irritate him to no end. For the slim possibility that the bet would make Roy a bit edgy, Edward Elric was definitely the last thing his nerves would need. Not that the bet would have that much of an impact on him mind you. But it was the perfect excuse to spare his nerves. Which was necessary, since they were being trampled on by his three opponents at the moment.

-o-**  
**

"Have you all lost your minds?"

The Colonels irritated voice didn´t have the desired effect. At least Havoc crushed his poor cigarette between his teeth, ruining it Roy noticed with a small amount of smug satisfaction. Unfortunately, neither Hughes nor Hawkeye had a comparable reaction. The former just grinned widely, even as he received a threatening glance from the Flame Alchemist. Hughes seemed determined to play his advantages to the fullest. Ever since he barely survived his attempted murder by the homunculi, Roy had been very hesitant to threaten his friend by snapping and setting him or his environment on fire.

"We deemed it necessary, Sir." Four identical stacks of paper were placed in front of him as Hawkeye continued. "This may not be an official document, but considered the nature of the wager, we believe the conditions should be made very clear."

"So you can´t talk you´re way out of it, Roy," added Hughes, and his grin widened, though Roy wouldn´t have believed this to be possible a moment ago. Of course Maes took the same moment to pull out a photograph and cuddle the thing. "I´m going to find you a woman almost as good as my Gracia, though no one could possibly be as beautiful as my loving wife," he said with an unmanly squeak. "My darling Gracia and my adorable Elicia are waiting for me to come home, so sign the paper already." By the end of the sentence, the embarrassing man in front of him disappeared and made room for a sharp eyed, creepy war veteran with a knife. It certainly didn´t help that he got assistance from Hawkeye's gun, pointed at Roy.

Staring at both the weapons and their owners, Roy sighed and took a glance at the sheet, while he reached for his pen. As expected, the terms of their bet were accurately described. Including the reason why Roy even accepted it.

_"If Roy Mustang wins this bet, Riza Hawkeye, Jean Havoc and Maes Hughes agree to the following:_

_Maes Hughes stops any attempts to pair Roy Mustang with any person he may or may not deem a proper partner for Roy Mustang. He will no longer arrange blind dates, send photos and/or contact dates to marriage brokers and will not put any more adverts in any paper. He will no longer announce any information about Roy Mustang on the radio and will be forbidden to comment on the dating habits of Roy Mustang._

_Riza Hawkeye will not shoot her commanding officer for being behind schedule. This pertains not only to the amount of unfinished paperwork, but to being late in the morning as well. Black coffee is to be served by Riza Hawkeye every morning and will be delivered while Lt. Hawkeye wears a miniskirt.  
If Roy Mustang deems it necessary to leave the office early to prepare for a date, he is free to leave (limited to two hours before the end of the work day or lunch break, and is not to be used more than once a week)._

_Any paperwork that is not finished within the time range of two days before its dead line will be taken care of by Jean Havoc and Riza Hawkeye."  
_

These terms were the main reasons Roy was doing this. There was one more, involving Havoc, otherwise the man would be getting off to easy. Since Havoc would not only benefit from the outcome of the wager in case Roy lost, but also as the bet was going on, some equivalent exchange was in order. If the blond was reaping the benefits, then he would sure as hell suffer for it. If Roy won the bet, Havoc would become his free errand runner, chauffeur, and of course personal secretary to sort his incoming mail and do a lot of Roy's paperwork for him.

Naturally, the possibility of not only being freed from Hughes attempts to find a suitable bride for him, but also from a whole lot of paperwork, was just too great a temptation. Roy would be more or less able to just pick the work he wanted to do – and yes, that kind of work did indeed exist, thank you very much.

Unfortunately, every bet has its downside: the possibility of losing it. And the terms for this one were the definition of torture.

For example, dating every woman Maes Hughes introduced to him at least twice. And yes, he had to be respectful. And no, not just for sex. Roy would have to actually try and get to know the girls. Hughes even went so far as to include a passage to stipulate that Roy had to date every woman at least twice before he could take her to his bed. And only one person at a time. Roy shuddered at the thought.

But a true man honours his debts. Especially gambling debts. Riza Hawkeye's would be that Roy actually finish his paperwork on time, all the time. Jean Havoc would win an introduction to a woman of his choosing from Roy's infamous black book at least once a week, and Roy would also have to make the arrangements for these dates. And pay for the arrangements, although Havoc would pay for things like food himself at least, even if that was just to show off.

-o-**  
**

One might express the opinion that this was not equivalent at all. After all, the paperwork was part of Roy's job. Dating women wasn´t the worst of punishments, even if he had to cut his regular habits. It even might do him some good. And helping Havoc to find a woman? One might consider this something every friend should try to help with.

However, anybody – at least any male and certainly everyone who knew Roy – would definitely agree that the final condition was the worst one possible to impose on the Flame Alchemist, the hardest one he would be forced to endure, once they read the terms of the bet.

Abstinence.

For the entire time period of the wager.

No sex. As in no sexual activities whatsoever. No blowjobs, no groping, no humping, no petting. And to top it off: no masturbation. Hughes and Havoc had gone out of their way to write a whole damn essay about what he was not allowed to do. The latter especially took an almost sadistic glee in pointing out his ideas. Some of them were even quite disturbing. It still surprised Roy how creative a man could be if he wasn't getting laid regularly, as Havoc clearly wasn't. But to put it as bluntly as possible: no ejaculation for one month. Exactly one month.

One measly little month of abstention in exchange for one year of freedom from paperwork and blind dates.

One month of sacrifice.

He could do this.

"I give you one week," was the first thing Havoc said.

"Maybe two weeks," added Hawkeye.

And Hughes, knowing him the best, declared, "Three days."

**Tbc.**

-o-**  
**

Reviews are always welcome.

Really, they are like cookies for the writer (the double choc ones XD~~~)


	2. Clichés, Rumors and how to avoid…

**Summary**: "It was the bet of the year, though technically, it couldn´t even be called a bet anymore.  
It was more like a battle, one of the hardest battles he'd ever fought. Roy Mustang against three people. Roy Mustang against piles of paperwork. And Roy Mustang against sex."

**Disclaimer**: Still not mine but honestly, I don´t feel like admitting this every single chapter, so this goes for all u.u

**Warnings**: unbeta'ed A/Ns otherwise same as last chapter XD

And apropos beta: Thank you, Ca11iope :D

**Notice**:

"Speaking"

'Thinking'

"_Letters, reports etc...and…"_

* * *

**The Bet of the Year**

**Chapter 1  
Clichés, Rumors and how to avoid… **

Day 1 

At first Roy was convinced this bet would not influence his life very much. Okay, he would not get any sex, but other than that, he would continue his life as usual.

He soon learned how wrong he was, starting with his first date the very same evening that the bet started, and expectations were the problem. After all, Roy had a reputation that women were well aware of.

The first thing he saw when he picked up his date was a deep cut dress. Deep cut in the upper area that was, since the lower part of the dress could have easily been a whole lot longer and still been considered short.

But Roy certainly wasn't going to complain about the lack of cloth, since it not only revealed enough cleavage to make it absolutely clear that she was not wearing a bra, but also showed off a rather nice set of legs. Roy had seen better but they were still very nice.

"Beautiful." Roy had the decency to fix his eyes firmly on her face before he complimented her. His blushing date offered him a smile that promised a good evening.

* * *

So far, the evening had been hell. Roy had never before noticed how crazy this woman was.

And stupid.

Really, women complained all the time that men were sex-driven, horny bastards. But all this woman had done the entire evening was flirt. And she was getting bolder with every passing hour. At first, she played hard to get. As time passed without the desired reaction, the act became less and less convincing.

Afterwards she did her best to 'accidentally' give him a few very good looks at her breasts. Then she started playing with her hair, letting the long strands brush against the top of her cleavage as if by chance.

After the second hour passed, he had to tuck his legs under his chair to avoid her feet. At first she blinked, then - oh _hell_, no – a predatory gleam appeared in her eyes. She practically purred as she sipped the cocktail she had ordered after dinner, the seductive sound sending shivers down the Flame Alchemist's spine. The moment she started to suck on the straw Roy's gaze wandered to her full lips. He had to swallow as she made the effort to slowly lick her lips afterwards. Did he always date such wh- easy going women?

Before she decided to order a banana split for dinner, he quickly waved to the waiter to get the check. That earned him a disbelieving glance from across the table, but she recovered quickly and Roy soon discovered why.

"You sure are in a hurry to leave this place." She said with a knowing smile. Obviously this woman's ego could almost match that of the man sitting across from her.

Roy didn´t correct her. Instead he offered to walk her home, really just wanting to finally leave her presence. The smile he got in return was not only the picture of much smug triumph, but also a promise the Colonel tried his best to ignore.

The way she clung to his arm was downright annoying, but Roy's midsection seemed to appreciate the soft curves that pressed against his upper arm. On any other day – any other day than today and the next twenty-nine - he wouldn´t have minded. He would have taken her home, accepted her invitation, and left once it was over.

Today however, when she stood in the doorway and twiddled with her keys, he waited impatiently for her to turn around again so he could wish her a good night and leave. Obviously, she had other plans.

"Would you like some coffee?" Of course it had to be this question. Why did it always have to be coffee? Couldn´t she just say out loud what she really wanted from him? For some unknown reason some women seemed to avoid being honest when inviting men into their home for sex. So instead they said something like this. Maybe it was because they didn´t want to feel as if they were easy. But considering the way this woman had acted all evening, Roy didn´t think she should feel any different than exactly that.

"Thank you, I´ll pass," he said.

She froze, turned to him and starred. It was a strange look, and Roy felt a bit mischievous. Unfortunately, his soon-to-be former date seemed to be either stupid or too self confident. Or both.

"You´re right, wine is a much better choice." She – finally! - opened the door and stepped inside, clearly expecting of him to follow her. When he didn't she stuck her head out of the doorframe to see what was taking him so long.

By now, bothered enough by her, Roy simple wished her a good night.

It finally seemed to sink in that she was not going to get him inside, so she stepped back out. One look at his face and the next thing she did was to strike the classic 'you´re doomed' pose. Which included stemming her fists to the hips, lifting her chin, and trying to stare down at him. Considered her height, the latter was not physically possible, but she managed to do it anyway – a special ability most women seemed to master at an early age.

"You know," she started and Roy sighed. This was getting worse and worse. "At first I thought you were playing around, and it was kind of cute to see you act as if you didn´t want to fuck me."

Did she just call him 'cute'? Roy felt positively insulted. "Believe it or not, I don´t." Yes, he could have insulted her back, but considering her self confidence, this was likely a much greater blow to her ego. Judging from how red her face suddenly grew, it was exactly the right thing to do.

Sticking out her chest, she huffed. The battle was engaged. "Right, you don´t. That´s why you´ve been staring at the front of my dress all evening."

"Hard not to, when you practically shove it in my face." This slipped out rather unintentionally. Even if she had annoyed him most of the time, he shouldn't sink to her level. He really should stay above this and keep his cool.

But his counterpart lost hers much faster and let out a shriek. "Are you calling me easy?"

Yes, exactly. After all, that's precisely what she was. But Roy decided that it would be much wiser not to say that out loud. Not that it helped however, since she was drawing her own conclusions from his silence.

"So, you think I´m a whore, or what?" Although Roy decided that he would try to lie and say no, he never had the chance to as she ratted on. "That´s just priceless, coming from you! The only thing one can expect from you is a nice date and a decent fuck, but today you failed both, you useless prick."

* * *

There had been a lot of things he'd wanted to say. But after all, he was neither her husband – for which he was quite grateful – nor her boyfriend. Hell, he wasn't even her damn neighbour. If she wanted to yell, let her. But he was not going to stick around for a screaming match. She was more or less a lady and Roy knew how to treat a woman, even one like her. That and the fact that ignoring her was the very best weapon to use against someone as narcissistic as she was. For that reason Roy simply left her standing on her front porch and walked away, ignoring her increasingly hysterical screams and insults.

Of course it wasn't that easy, as she insisted on making a fool of herself by following him down to the street, all the while continuing to scream profanities at the top of her lungs. Roy definitely preferred to deal with women when they were not crazy.

He did have much more to offer than free food and a 'decent' fuck. Much more on both accounts, since Roy didn't consider himself simply 'decent' in bed, as other former dates could attest. He was a smart and charming man after all. He had to have _some_ brains to pass the state alchemist exam, thank you very much. Even if he didn´t usually talk about deep topics with his dates, he could if he wanted to.

He was not useless.

His date was just crazy. But after this awful evening, Roy was not in the mood to do much, so he headed home and crossed off the day on his calendar.

One down, twenty nine more to go.

* * *

Day 2

He´s been feeling cranky all morning, but other than a knowing glance from Havoc and Hawkeye, it didn´t get much reaction. Dealing with paperwork was even more annoying than usual and Roy found himself in need of a drink at the end of the workday. So his path led him to a small and thankfully quiet bar.

He'd had a date planned out for the evening, but Roy was definitely not in the mood for a repeat of yesterday's disaster and cancelled. The Flame Alchemist usually did his bar hopping with Hughes, but dealing with the camera happy man was also something Roy wanted to avoid. He suspected that his friend most likely had sent a spy after him the day before, if he wasn't stalking him himself. Hughes appeared too well informed when he'd visited at lunchtime that day, and took the opportunity to criticize his choice of dates. Considering his last one, Roy didn´t have much to argue against that.

Downing his first drink in one go, Roy felt himself finally relax. Alone.

But not for long.

"Hi. Roy, isn´t it?" Glancing up from his empty glass, he took in the woman in front of him.

"Sorry, I don´t want company." He quickly declined and waved to the bartender for another drink.

The attractive brunette lifted one eyebrow and seemed to fight a laugh when he deliberately looked in any other direction than the waitress' cleavage, as the busty woman bent over the bar to place his drink. Before he could take it however, the brunette took the glass and lifted it to her lips. Roy expected her to drink the contents but she didn't. Instead, she gave it a delicate sniff, then wrinkled her pretty nose and placed the drink back on the wood.

"Heavy stuff. Sooo…. it´s true?" She asked curious.

"Is what true?" Why did he have this sinking feeling the moment she asked her question? He lifted his glass to his lips, but instead of drinking he almost choked on the liquor as she elaborated.

"That you can´t get it up."

"What the fuck?" Roy rarely used vulgar language but this time he voiced his thought aloud and added. "Who is telling such shit?"

Blushing a deep red the woman seemed to come to the realization that this was definitely not a good situation. Hastily she declared that 'nobody' had said it, but after receiving a death glare she admitted that one of her friends had told her and a few other girls about it this morning.  
Great. Considering how females exchanged sex stories . . . most probably the rumour had already spread across half of the city, if not all of it.

"And who is this friend of yours?" he gritted through his teeth and trying not to torch the woman in front of him.

"Julia." She squeaked.

Julia? Who was Julia? Then it dawned him. His date last night. He could have sworn her name was Janette, but it´s not like it mattered much. Okay, maybe it would for whoever would need to make the tombstone, since once he was done with her, no doctor would be able to recognize the piece of toast he was going to turn her into.

* * *

Despite his first impression, Julia appeared to possess a brain after all. When Roy arrived at her home she was not there. The angry alchemist even went so far as to ask a neighbour if he knew the woman's whereabouts. The old man confirmed that his former date did in fact leave not only her house, but Central as well, apparently to visit her parents. Cursing the woman and his bad choice in dates once again, Roy had no other choice but to return home. His evening was ruined twice in row by the very same woman.

He felt annoyed, and strained, and basically in a bad mood, so Roy decided to hit the sack early. Unfortunately, sleep didn´t want to settle in, and with a longing feeling he thought about the last time he'd needed some stress relief. A wild little redhead had helped him out back then, and what he wouldn't give at the moment to have someone like that in his bed right now, screwing her and his brain out. Slamming his cock hard into another body while she screamed his name, begged him for more, and cried as they got closer with each hard trust… definitely his favourite way to relieve some stress. He still had that fierce woman's number. But he would not call. He wouldn´t be so pathetic as to lose his bet on the second day.

Feeling somewhat aroused at the memory, his dick decided to remind him that yes, it was indeed the second night in row that had been ruined. And the lack of attention was not appreciated. It would normally take a bit more than just a memory to have his member reacting. Roy was an adult after all, and not some hormone controlled teen. Granted, it was a really _good_ memory though. The woman was very much into rough sex, and they'd done it more than once that night.

Roy hastily banned the thoughts from his mind as his cock twisted slightly against the mattress. He took a deep breath and let the air out slowly. Maybe lying on his stomach was not the best idea. Shifting carefully, he had to grit his teeth as the soft blanket brushed over his beginning hardness. Maybe sleeping naked was not the best idea either. He needed to get some pajamas.

Lying on his back and trying not to move he attempted to ignore his slight erection. It wasn't as if it was a full hard on. He could simply ignore it and the matter would settle itself. After thinking up some of the most disgusting things he could come up with, his cock did indeed settle down and two hours later he finally found sleep.

**Tbc.**

* * *

So, Roy had a nasty start into his bet and the first stage of torture appeared the second night :D

Since some people offered guesses, I´m curious: would you like to guess as well? (about how long Roy is keep his wager)


	3. More Drastic Means

**Summary**: "It was the bet of the year, though technically, it couldn´t even be called a bet anymore.  
It was more like a battle, one of the hardest battles he'd ever fought. Roy Mustang against three people. Roy Mustang against piles of paperwork. And Roy Mustang against sex."

**Warnings**: unbeta'ed A/Ns, dirty tricks and the rest is same as the other chapters XD

Thank you once again, Ca11iope :D By the amount of work you do I should maybe call you beta, gamma, delta... all way down to omega :D

**A/N:**

I was tempted to split this chapter. But

1) it would take longer for Ed to finally appear and you guys were nice reviewer, so I´m a nice writer (not really ;-P I´m a big fan of cliffhangers, both reading and writing them XD)

2) the next chapter may take a bit more time *cough*

I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I had fun writing it XD

**Notice**:

"Speaking"

'Thinking'

"Letters, reports etc...and…"

* * *

**The Bet of the Year**

**Chapter 2: More Drastic Means **

Day 3

He woke up to early. Which was both good and bad.

Bad, because he woke up with the view of a sizable tent in his bedcovers.

And good, because he would at least have time enough for a cold shower.

Even if needing a cold shower was something his dignity had difficulty accepting. It wasn't as if he hadn't showered cold from time to time, but usually he was not forced to do so to get rid of a boner. And that´s exactly, why he considered this a bad thing. Hard dicks and cold water just didn´t match at all. One of them had to back down at some point and Roy needed to make sure the water got enough reinforcements to make his proud general lose, even if he regretted it deeply.

Since the battlefield was his nerves, Roy left the shower even crankier than the day before, and his mood didn´t improve on the way to the office. In fact, once he reached Headquarters, it even sank lower.

The moment the secretary at the front desk avoided his gaze, Roy knew that his presumption had been right, and that Julia's nasty act of revenge had reached the headquarter building. Whenever he looked, female officers – and even a few males - either avoided his eyes or desperately tried not to laugh, betrayed either by the twitching corners of their mouths or intense biting of their lower lip. He earned a few pitying looks, and of course some couldn´t keep their voices low enough behind his back, so he could hear the giggles and the whispered commentary. By the time he reached his office, he was sure that if he had to endure overhearing one more "so, do you think it´s true?" he was going to kill whoever asked.

When he entered his office this time, his entire crew kept their heads low so he could not see their expressions. Just great. If he had to guess who might have blabbed about the bet, Havoc would be his first choice. Riza usually knew how to keep her mouth shut.

Finally reaching a state of high piss off, the Colonel gritted out a regulation 'good morning' to each of them, making sure to including every single rank, simply to force them to salute him and look him in the eye. As expected, Hawkeye managed without giving the slightest hint that something was different from any other day. Falman accomplished the same feat, although his return of the greeting was strictly by protocol. Figured, the man could escape any verbal situation if he had the aid of bureaucracy. Fury looked embarrassed and uncomfortable, and since he always supported his commander without question, the Colonel let him off the hook without further ado. Breda however turned a even deeper red than his hair as soon as his eyes met Roy's.

"Good morning, Sir. " It almost worked, until Breda added, "May I express my concern, Sir? You look like you had a rough night." Although it was phrased formally enough, the hint was more than clear. Clear enough to have Havoc finally lose it, and barely suppressed laughter filled the office.

As it died down, the office became deathly silent. Taking a look at the narrowed eyes of his superior officer, the last traces of amusement vanished from Havocs lips and the man paled.

"Uhm. . . good morning. . . Sir?" It was a poor attempt to worm his way out of what would follow next, but finally having someone to wreak his bad mood on, Roy was by no means letting the man escape. Especially not since it was Havoc.

"Why, Lieutenant. You seem to be having a very good morning indeed. Care to fill me in on what´s so amusing?"

Havoc winced at the particularly sadistic note in the Flame Alchemist´s voice. "I´d prefer not to, Sir." Even though both of them knew exactly why Havoc had laughed, it certainly wouldn't help his current position to admit that he found his superior's misery amusing. He was lucky the man didn´t order him to say it out loud.

Instead he was asked, if he `preferred` to do a few special jobs instead.

* * *

"Heymans, how could you fret out a comrade like this?" Fury sounded downright scandalized.

But the redhead just grinned. "Havoc had it coming, really. And I´m glad it´s not me." That earned him an incredulous glance from the rest of the office. Breda slumped down a bit in his chair. "You know, now the Colonel´s going to give Havoc all the shitty jobs no one wants to do, so the rest of us won´t be forced to do them for at least a month."

No one could argue with that.

* * *

After taking his frustration out on one of his favourite preys of the moment, Roy felt much better. He had spent a good amount of time pulling out the absolute worst jobs he could find. And it had been enormously satisfying to see one of his three betting opponents suffer as well.

Unfortunately no one – except Hawkeye - dared to enter his office after that. As a consequence, Roy found himself in dire need of something to do to occupy his wandering mind. When his thoughts slipped into the gutter for what seemed to be the twentieth time in one hour, the Colonel admitted that he did in fact need to take more drastic measures.

Alcohol was out of the question of course, since Riza wouldn't hesitate to shoot him if he even dared to touch it while on duty. Sighing deeply, Roy went for a distraction that would very much clear his mind from any sex-related thoughts without getting him into trouble.

* * *

Three hours later Riza forced her hand to close the door as she left the Colonel's office, and with numb legs went to her desk to sit down. She had only been in her commander's inner sanctum for a few moments, to check on him, and she'd been fine when she'd gone in, but now . . .

"First Lieutenant?" Fury's voice sounded hesitant.

The Lieutenant stared at the work on her desk, unmoving.

"Did she go into shock? What happened?" Falman went over to the woman and tried to get a reaction out of her.

"Maybe she caught the Colonel doing some. . . you know." Breda grinned and moved his hand suggestively in front of his trousers. "He looked like he needed it badly." And that would mean one thing: Mustang would have lost his bet. Heymans was about to get the betting book, but the only female in the room interrupted the motion.

"He´s doing his paperwork."

Three jaws dropped to the floor.

* * *

The very first thing Roy did on his way home was to buy pajamas.

The – thankfully male – shop clerk had let himself be caught in a chat about the different styles of bed clothes and whatnot. Roy purposely chose one of the more expensive shops, so vulgar language or even the acknowledgment that the existence of something like genitals – the reproductive system, thank you very much - was totally out of question. Boring as hell, but it helped to pass the time. And some of the phrases the man had chosen to avoid naming certain body parts were downright ridiculous. After all, they were both human and male.

Nonetheless, the time during which one could call the evening young had long passed when Roy returned home exhausted. After spending the whole day confined to the office, he decided to walk home to get rid of the headache he'd developed after he saw the bill for his new sleepwear. It wasn´t as if he would need the pajamas for long, so it did seem a bit expensive, but the Colonel always preferred to pay a bit more in exchange for good quality. And even if he wouldn´t be using the pajamas longer than four week, his principles were clear.

Nonetheless, he refused to wear them before washing, so instead of sleeping naked, Roy decided to keep his underwear on. After the lack of sleep the night before, and doing boring paperwork all day, he expected to fall asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

He didn´t.

Even without remembering any specific events, the moment Roy closed his eyes and his mind was no longer occupied, he became acutely aware of what he'd pushed out of his mind all day. The familiar heat in his groin had yet to develop into an actual physical reaction, but the mere thought of sex could – shit, too late.

Signing deeply, Roy once again tried to visualize the most disgusting things he could come up with. It did help. The relief however was short lived since he needed to sleep. Which basically meant he had to stop thinking at some point. And the moment he did that it was back. The thought of sex, amplifying the slight arousal and the growing need to do something to ease this deprivation.

It took him six hours, lots of tossing around, the calculation of the square root of eighty-nine thousand, eight hundred and fifty-six to the seventh position after the decimal point, and the memory of a cat run over by a truck, to finally get rid of the sexual desire and sleep.

* * *

Day 4

"Good morning, Roy!" If the shouting hadn´t woken him, the bang of the door against bedroom wall would have done the job.

Before he could get his mind out of its sleepy state, his bedcovers were forcefully removed.

"What the hell are you doing here?" The Alchemist managed to grumble.

"Checking on you?" And with that, his best friend stepped aside to let a woman into the room. Roy blinked and was about to accuse the other male in the room of cheating, but she interrupted.

"It´s a pleasure to meet you, I´m the Nature Defining Alchemist, Sue Barks." With a smile the woman offered her hand in greeting, but as Roy simply stared at her, she let her gaze wander.

Her smile became a wicked grin once she viewed the bulge in his underwear. Roy swallowed. He didn´t dare to imagine what would have happened if he'd gone to bed naked yesterday. Nonetheless, the Colonel did nothing to conceal himself. After all, there was nothing to be ashamed of. On the contrary.

Hughes just sighed at his friend's lack of blushing and went ahead to explain. "Sue is a specialist with organic material and helps the Investigations Division out from time to time." Mostly to investigate if a murder victim had been raped, but Roy didn´t need to know this. "She is able to detect any body fluids that may be present, identify the type, and determine how fresh they are."

The man on the bed blinked and let his gaze wander to Hughes, mostly to avoid looking into Sue´s eyes to see the slight arousal and the offer in them.

"You know, sweat, tears. . .. sperm." The bespectacled man elaborated.

This time, Roy felt his anger rise. The major had brought a strange alchemist into his house to check on the bet? Hughes, recognizing the growing rage in his friends face, hastily took hold of the man's arm and almost forced him to stand up, ignoring the very faint wince that escaped Roy.

"I think it´s a good idea to let her do her job, while you take a shower and I make some coffee." He pushed the Colonel out of the room in the direction of the bathroom. Both men did their best to ignore the appreciative whistle once Roy's back was turned to the lady alchemist.

* * *

"You´re doing better than I thought. And don´t worry, Sue is duty-bound to keep this confidential," Hughes admitted as Roy finally came downstairs, still feeling cold from the shower and now dressed in a bath robe.

When he entered his bedroom, the woman was nowhere to be found, but a note confirming the absence of any incriminating fluids, and a telephone number, had been placed on his bedcovers.

"I told you I can control myself." Roy said smugly. It felt good to rub it in, even if the rubbing was not the type Roy had been wishing for.

He expected Hughes to comment on the morning wood, but the man turned around and walked to the door as the Colonel took off the only fabric he was wearing.

"Right. Keep it up, Roy." That said, the major quickly left the room.

Frowning at the door, the Flame Alchemist wondered about his friend's last words, and why the man had fled the room so quickly. He couldn´t be bothered by Roy's nakedness. They'd changed many times in front of each other while in the academy. And Hughes could certainly not be encouraging him to win the bet, he . . . had the man just told him _to keep it up_?

Roy's reluctance to torch the bastard sank just low enough to be ignored, but in the time it would take the Flame Alchemist to dress – gloves and all - the Lieutenant Colonel would have a very healthy safety margin. And until the protective instinct his friend held for him was back, Hughes had better stay out of his dangerously frustrated comrade's sight.

* * *

Hughes did in fact stay away from Roy. Very far away, and with good reason. In Roy's office was a young and attractive blond in a short skirt. Coming from the investigations department, the woman claimed to be under orders to sort through the files in Colonel Mustangs office for one pertinent to a current investigation.

And while Havoc was lusting after the woman, said Colonel only wanted to send her away. Obviously however, Hughes knew his friend quite well. The written order was not only signed by him, but also by a Brigadier General and therefore someone who outranked Mustang.

The Colonel didn´t know how Hughes had archived that exactly, but it didn´t matter. What mattered was the fact that every time the woman bent over to reach the lower bookshelves, his cock was doing a one man Mexican wave. Or one penis Mexican wave. Whatever. And damn, she bent down a lot. A lot and very deep. Did she have to do that? Couldn´t she just get on her knees and –

Roy whimpered and buried his slightly sweaty face in his hands.

"Is everything alright, Colonel?" The worried voice of the pretty sergeant forced him to look the woman in the face. "Is there something I can do for you? Your face looks a bit heated."

If his dick could talk, most likely it would have been screaming out a lot of things she could do for him, but Roy only swallowed and gritted out a "No, thank you, Sergeant. . ."

Up until now, she hadn´t introduced herself. And considering the way she blushed a deep scarlet, she'd realized it as well. She rushed herself into a salute and quickly blurted out a "Sergeant Miller, Sir. At your service."

'Don´t say that. Don´t say that. Don´t say that!' Forcing the mantra out of his head, Roy responded, "Pleased to meet you, Sergeant Miller. And please, just continue with your assigned duties."

The sooner she found the damn file, the sooner she was out of there. Unfortunately, the Colonel suspected, the file either didn't exist or simply was not in his office. Sergeant Miller returned to her task, which included – once again - the lower shelves. But this time the alchemist was able to swallow down any sound, as he once again buried his face in his hands. Peeking out between his fingers, Roy glanced at his member. Which remained at attention and refused to back down.

"I´m sorry, Sir." The hesitant voice interrupted his wallowing in despair.

"Yes, Sergeant?" Once again, he had to look at her. Blonde hair, brown eyes, full lips. She was not very busty, but the short skirt provided a good look at gorgeous legs. And a she had a very nice ass, as Roy had discovered the first time she'd inspected the lower shelves.

Quite nervous, the woman admitted that she couldn´t find the file – big surprise – and asked for permission to search through his desk drawer. Roy starred at her. "Uhm, if you don´t mind, Sir." She fiddled with the buttons of her uniform jacket.

As if he had a choice. Roy wouldn´t put it past Hughes to have the next order signed by the Führer himself.

"I think you forgot the files on the upper left of the shelf, but if you don´t find it there, you can go ahead and take a look at the desk drawer. I don´t mind." Like fuck he didn´t.

But as she turned her back to him he could perform his act of desperation. He buried his hands in the pockets of his trousers, gripped his hard cock – that actually felt amazing, but he needed to ignore it – and forced it down.

Fuck.

Still holding his aroused member down flat, he buried his heels into the carped and with a quick push of his hips guided the chair closer to the desk. It felt like humping his hand as the cloth of his underwear rubbed over the tip of his sensitive dick. He desperately wanted to repeat that motion. Again and again. Fast and hard. He didn´t even care about the woman in his office. Not because he feared being charged for sexual harassment, but because it simply would take too long. Fucking his hand would be so much faster.

The only thing that kept him from doing exactly that was the pile of paperwork in front of him. Considering how distracted Roy had been, it was far from small.

A quick jerk off against one year of freedom from what was in front of him.

Roy bit his lower lip. Even without the humiliation of losing the bet so quickly, it was just not worth it.

The Colonel took a deep breath. Then another. Glanced at the woman. Not much time left. Slowly he forced his hands to release his hardness. Of course it jerked up again, hitting the underside of his desk, and he felt torn between either crying or thrusting his hips.

In the end, he did neither. Instead he took his trembling hands out of his trousers and somehow managed to put them on the table.

Just in time. The Sergeant sighed, informed him that she hadn´t found the file, and walked over to the desk. This time, she did get on her knees as she opened the drawer to continue her search, and Roy could see straight down into her uniform. She didn´t have big breasts, and they were covered by the blouse, but Roy imagined her full lips that would look and feel so good around his dick.

Which twitched more than slightly at the thought, rubbing against the cloth of his pants and the wood of the desk.

One blowjob, maybe a quick office fuck, against one year of what was in front of him. And one charge for sexual assault.

A shaking hand reached for a sheet of paperwork and left a caricature of his signature on the dotted line.

* * *

When Sergeant Miller finally left the office after taking the entire day to search for the missing file –she'd called her superior just after lunch to let him know that she'd been unable to locate it, but the man ordered her to keep searching till the last minute of the shift - all members of Colonel Mustangs crew traded glances.

"So, who goes in there?" whispered Havoc, half tempted to assure himself of his win. There was simply no way the Colonel had let that one go without a touch.

But Hawkeye took it upon herself.

She found her commanding officer with his forehead on the wood, whimpering slightly, but he still fully clothed.

Had he lost? Had he perhaps come in his pants? Taking hold of the chair, the Hawk moved it away from the desk. Again, the man let out a slight whimper.

One look and one sympathetic pat on the shoulder later and Hawkeye left the office to make her announcement.

"He didn´t."

He was going to kill Hughes. Slowly. Burning away one layer of skin after another. What he'd forced Roy to endure _all day_ was torture and should not be allowed. But unfortunately the contract did not include any passages about Havoc, Hawkeye or Hughes manipulating the odds. As Maes well knew, since he'd drafted it.

The evil bastard.

But the term 'bastard' rang a bell. If Hughes was allowed to resort to dirty tricks, Roy was forced to manoeuvre within his limits, as masochistic as they might be. He was going to call the one person he was absolutely sure he would never even consider fucking. After all, the person in question was little more than a child, downright asexual, and would never even consider having sex with Roy either.

So at the moment, Edward Elric was the _perfect_ person for Roy to date.

**Tbc**.

* * *

And this is reason 3) I really wanted this ending XD


	4. A good day, until

**Summary**: "It was the bet of the year, though technically, it couldn´t even be called a bet anymore.  
It was more like a battle, one of the hardest battles he'd ever fought. Roy Mustang against three people. Roy Mustang against piles of paperwork. And Roy Mustang against sex."

**Warnings**: unbeta'ed A/Ns otherwise same as last chapter XD

**Beta**: Thank you, Ca11iope ^^

**Notice**:

"Speaking"

'Thinking'

"_Letters, reports etc...and…" _

* * *

Sakurita Elric Neko: I´m delighted to hear you enjoyed the story so far :D

The Curse of Forever: Nice to see you back :D I´m sure Roy apprechiates the A. (Not the general, but he´s not in charge now ;D)

* * *

**The Bet of the Year**

**Chapter 3: A good day, until…**

Day 5

After spending the previous day much too distracted and in pain to get anything done, Roy's pile of paperwork had once again grown. So on Friday the Colonel had enough work on hand to ignore his problem, and thankfully, Hughes did not attempt to cheat again.

The cold morning shower was becoming routine. Roy's inquisitor, aka the Nature Defining Alchemist, had visited him that morning for the second time and confirmed that he had not done anything to bring the wager to an early end. The woman had invaded his privacy alone that morning, and insisted the Flame call her by her first name as she virtually purred his in a quite intimate manner. Despite this, Roy's day had started on a positive note, and since his evening's plans included spending time with a short tempered child, the Colonel was positive that today would bring him one step closer to the successful end of this bet.

* * *

Hughes put the phone down and sighed. He had just received the report from Sue, and the rest of people in the room looked expectantly to him for the verdict.

Maes took a deep breath and the others seemed to almost burst from anticipation.

"No."

Just one word, but it made some of those assembled swear, and others cheer.

"I knew it!" was heard along with disbelieving 'Wwhaaaatttt?'s. Money was thrown into the betting pool and Breda lifted the well filled container to wave it in front of the Lieutenant Colonel's face.

"Pay up, mate," the read-haired man crowed.

Doing as he was told, Hughes left a thick bundle of notes in the pool with a grimace.

"It was a good try, Sir." Szieska tried to comfort her commanding officer. Then she leaned away to take a look at the betting book. She would never go as far as try to manipulate the bet, as the Lieutenant Colonel had, but she sure hoped she would win the money.

As did all the other people in the room.

* * *

Roy had to correct himself.

Edward Elric was definitely not a child. Not anymore. In fact, Roy had to admit that his former subordinate had grown into a very attractive young man.

But that didn´t matter as long as it was the only thing that needed to be corrected. The former Fullmetal Alchemist did not look at him the way the women he was used to dating did. For example, like Julia did when she'd thought their date was progressing well. Or like Sue did yesterday morning.

In fact, Ed looked at Roy just the same way as he'd sounded the evening before when Roy had called him to invite him out: annoyed by the mere existence of Roy Mustang. Perfect.

"I can´t believe I agreed to this," the younger man growled when Roy came to pick him up. "This is the first time I've ever hoped someone would stand me up."

What a nice greeting. For a moment, Roy was tempted to turn around and leave. But as tempting as the notion was, he had a few very good arguments against doing that.

One, he had given his word. And Roy Mustang was not a man to break it easily. Even if the one it was given to was a short man with a temper that was almost as short as its owner. Fine, maybe shorter, since Edward seemed to have grown. It was hard to believe, but the blonde was not that much shorter than Mustang anymore. The top of his head - minus the ever present antenna - was almost at Roy's eye level, and while that was still far from tall, it was not exactly tiny anymore. Roy estimated that Ed was roughly as tall as Fury now, maybe even an inch or two taller.

The second reason Roy decided to go through with this 'date' was that he hadn´t seen his former subordinate for at least a year, since he had not attended the welcome back party the rest of his crew had organized. He didn´t even remember anymore why he hadn´t.

But the third, most significant reason, the one that made Roy call Ed in the first place, was that it was Edward Elric he was asking out. And while he was certainly not a child anymore, the blond was still a man, and Roy did not do men. Well, granted there was that time at academy when he was far too drunk to care who he bent over. And that one time a few years ago when he was even _more_ drunk and didn´t care who bend _him_ over. Roy's memory of both events was as complete as the bottom of a sieve, but his ass certainly remembered that last one, and it had not been a pleasant memory. Roy hadn't even been able to sit without a pillow for three days. It was uncomfortable enough for Roy to cross males as sex partners off his personal 'to do' list after that.

With a woman it was absolutely clear who had to take it. With a man however, you could never know for sure if the guy might decide that he would like to be the one in charge after all. And that was another reason not to sleep with guys. Roy would never allow some stranger to have that much control over him, so dating a man permanently was out of question. There was no way a guy would let you fuck him and never do the fucking himself. After all, Roy was a man and knew exactly how good it felt to thrust his dick into another body. He could not imagine resigning from that option for a lifetime. Hell, the last five days had been nightmare enough, and he still had twenty-five more to go.

After advancing the theory that a real man needed to do the fucking, what were Roy's chances of finding a totally submissive one? Too much risk. First: even asking a guy if he was gay was almost a guarantee for a fist in the face. Visiting gay bars would take care of that, but it would also take care of his reputation. Even if he maybe - just maybe – found someone who was worth the risk, and that was a long shot indeed, there was the previously mentioned topping issue. Men in gay bars had gay sex. And a man who had gay sex would at some point want to stick their own dicks into their partner. And on top of all that, being a man himself, Roy knew that there were plenty of men low enough to resort to getting their targets sloshed to get what they wanted.

As a consequence of these points, Roy would not sleep with men. Therefore, Roy was not gay. And since he was not gay, he would not sleep with Edward Elric, who was undeniable male.

Besides, Ed was about as asexual as they come, although he didn´t actually look the part anymore. And as far as Roy knew, Ed was not gay. Consequently, he would not be interested in Roy. Therefore, no sex. Case closed.

Anyway, the brat hadn´t lost his ability to annoy Roy. The snarky greeting alone was enough to confirm that. Considering their interactions in the past, this was one more indicator pointing to the same conclusion: once again, no sex.

Roy mentally counted off all the arguments for 'no sex', and came to the decision that Ed was in fact his best option for a dinner companion. Therefore he held his ground instead of walking away.

"Good evening to you too, Fullmetal." Sarcasm could be wrung out of the sentence with bare hands. "And just to remind you, you agreed to join me because I´m paying." Ed´s stomach had in fact been the deciding factor in Roy's successful attempt to get the former Major to go out with him.

Said former Major snored and turned to the restaurant's entrance. "Whatever."

The younger man was dressed casually, and Roy was happy to note that his current sense of fashion was not as flamboyant as it had been back in his days as the Fullmetal Alchemist. A light brown coat fell to mid-thigh, and by its worn appearance it was obvious Ed wore it often. The young man's boots were also very well worn, and must have seen quite a few adventures, considering their condition. The trousers, made from a practical, thick material similar to denim, were not as battered, but definitely far from fancy.

But really, the outfit was acceptable under the circumstances. After all, since Roy had agreed that this would be his treat, he hadn't chosen a terribly expensive restaurant. The food here was tasty, and the atmosphere casually comfortable. Roy thought it was a good choice for his date with Ed, who most likely wouldn't have felt at ease in a fancier place. And of course nothing could stop Ed from insulting Roy loudly and often, and the Colonel felt no desire to be tossed out of a fine dining establishment that evening.

"Spill it, Colonel shit. What is the real reason for this?" Edward demanded to know, as they took their seats in a secluded corner.

"I told you-" Roy began, but was soon interrupted.

"You want to make up for missing the party? Sure." Edward's dry tone betrayed more than clearly what Ed thought of Roy's explanation.

"You may not believe it but I do take an interest in my subordinates, Fullmetal." It would take some time to get used to not calling him that, but Ed didn´t even seem to notice. Obviously Roy was not the only one slipping into old routines. "Even the ones that were often beneath the radar and nowhere to be found most of the time."

"You evil fucker." Leaning over the table with a murderous stare, the blonde alchemist looked quite intimidating. "That's because the fucking stacks of paperwork were piled too high to even spot Armstrong behind them. I´m not short."

Ah, it seemed like Edward had grown up a bit. But only a bit. Clearly it was momentarily in check, but it would not take much for that famous temper to burst out of its boundaries.

The Colonel smirked and took a breath for the next shot at the former Major's not so prominent lack of height – one could always exaggerate, just for the sake of angering the other man – but Ed was not finished yet.

"And if I ever find that you were indeed plotting something when you invited me out, I´ll rip your fucking stars off your fucking uniform and shove them straight up your fucking ass. One after the other."

Ouch. Even with all the 'fucks' included, the image of that was painful enough to give Roy's ever present boner pause. The black-haired man's grin widened and he leaned back. This should be a good evening. Finally some things were working as they should.

It was absolutely wonderful. Fullmetal was still very creative with his threats and insults, and Roy was sure the visualization of a few of them would definitely kill all feelings of arousal tonight.

To top it off, it still was amusing to get the younger man to lose his temper, even though it was more of a challenge than it had been when Ed was still under his command. But Roy didn´t mind a challenge. And therefore, the date was perfect. Until . . .

"…. NOT SHORT, YOU DICK!"

"My dick is not short!"

Where exactly had this come from? It was enough to shut Ed up immediately and keep him quite for whole five seconds. Then:

"Uhm… I didn´t say that."

* * *

Yet.

He had, in fact, not said that to that very moment. But Ed became very creative, laying out a well thought out scientific theory about how Roy's enormous ego probably compensated for other . . . 'shortcomings'. Roy was treated to a good percentage of the short insults he's once used on Ed thrown back into his face. Or rather, his dick.

It was rather impressive how many of them the short alchemist remembered and how he was able to adapt them to his own purpose. But that wasn't the end of it. Edward had put-gowns of his own to add to the exchange.

Really, Roy's poor general did not deserve this.

The Colonel's counterattacks became more heated as the evening wore on and the amount of disrespect his penis was forced to endure grew. And Roy had to give the restaurant's staff credit. It took them quite a long time to throw the two alchemist's out, perhaps because a good number of the other guests were very entertained by their argument. In the end however, Ed´s demands for Roy to supply 'solid evidence' and let his pants – and underwear - down were likely the last straw. That prospect was too much even for the most tolerant gastronome.

**Tbc**.

* * *

Finally, Ed is here ^^

And some background on Roys academy life :D I could so picture him like that XD (I´m already tempted for a short sidestory, but not sure. Maybe sometimes later)


	5. Free time and what to do with it

**Summary**: "It was the bet of the year, though technically, it couldn´t even be called a bet anymore.  
It was more like a battle, one of the hardest battles he'd ever fought. Roy Mustang against three people. Roy Mustang against piles of paperwork. And Roy Mustang against sex."

**Warnings**: same line as last time ^^°

**Beta**: Thank you, Ca11iope ^^ Considered the amount of work you do, maybe I should call you co-writer XD

**Notice**:

"Speaking"

'Thinking'

"_Letters, reports etc...and…" _

* * *

The Curse of Forever: No, it didn´t XD But it won´t be the last time and Roy will not be the only one who will be surprised ;D

o-Jeff-o: Thank you for taking the time to comment on two chapters ^-^ Poor Roy, Hughes will not be the only one trying to cheat ^.~ But not everybody will be able to avoid the revenge. Roy is not the type of guy who just endures everything. He will do some torturing as well XD

* * *

**The bet of the year**

**Chapter 4: Free time and what to do with it**

Day 6

Saturday. The sixth day. Roy should have been glad. Finally the first week was coming to an end. But it turned out that the weekend he once longed for was now the worst part of the week.

Sure, he didn´t need to get up early, and of course he hadn't, but there was no work to distract him on Saturday. So once he he'd stepped out of the detested cold shower, he took his time with breakfast.

Then he took his time with shopping, stocking up on food, cleaning supplies and all the small things he had run out at some point. Just for the sake of killing time he went to the bakery and butcher shop separately, taking his purchases home in between. And while he wouldn't normally cook an elaborate meal just for himself, today he did.

But after a very thorough house-cleaning session that most likely banned every single dust speck from his home, he'd exhausted all options for keeping himself busy, and found himself in dire need of distraction. Worse yet, Roy had no clue how he would survive the next day, when the all the shops were closed and the house still clean.

So once again he opted for his most drastic escape route.

* * *

"Are you nuts?" A short pause, then. "No, let me rephrase that. Are you even more nuts then usually?"

Edward's faith in the lack of his sanity was refreshing as always, but Roy couldn´t blame the younger man for questioning his former superior's mental state this time. Yesterday they had both done their best to insult each other nearly to the point of violence, and now Roy was calling and asking him out again.

"Just answer the question, Fullmetal," Roy grunted into the receiver, then quickly added, "My treat, of course." His poor wallet was already suffering from the black hole that was Ed's appetite. Even though the previous evening's menu had not been overly expensive, it hadn't exactly been cheap either, particularly as the blond had done his best to go through every single dish on the card that did not include milk. But money was not Roy's priority at the moment. Surviving tomorrow was.

Silence greeted him from the telephone receiver for a few moments.

"Did Hawkeye force you into this?"

Roy could practically feel the suspicion pouring out of the wire. "Hawkeye? No, what gives you that idea?" Why would Riza force Roy into something like this?

"Well, at the party she mentioned something about your lack of presence, and that she would take care of it," Ed admitted after another few moments. Before Roy could process that information, Ed was into his next guess.

"Did you lose a bet?"

"What? No!" And he didn´t intend to.

"Maybe some kind of publicity trick for your image?" Ed sounded slightly distressed. "I´m not that famous, you know." Did the kid really believe that? Even though he'd quit the military, the Fullmetal Alchemist was still very well known.

"No. No trick." Roy once again defended himself.

"I know you´re plotting something," he could hear Ed mutter. Before the man could guess again Roy took the opportunity ask a question himself.

"Is it really so hard to believe that I´m asking you out?" he asked just to stop Edward's little guessing game.

"Well…. Yes."

The Flame Alchemist sighed. This answer was not a demonstration of Ed's lack of confidence, but more of a revelation that at least Edward seemed to share Roy's opinion when it came to their relationship.

"You annoy the hell out of me," The former Major elaborated. "And it wouldn't take a genius to see that it´s mutual. So why are you asking me out?" Before Roy could attempt to bullshit his way out of answering honestly, Ed thankfully added, "It´s not as if you couldn't have just about anyone else to keep you company."

"Of course I could, but I don´t want anyone else." Only after saying this out loud did Roy realized how it might sound to Ed's ears. Damn, he was just too used to flirting with the people he asked out. So he tried to turn the statement around. "Sometimes a man needs a break from romance, Edward. I am currently in the mood for a dinner companion with whom I can hold a decent conservation." Nobody could deny that the former State Alchemist had a brain, but Roy cringed at the thought that he'd just indirectly complemented the blond.

"Suck up." And nice to hear it had no effect on Edward. "Don´t blame you´re brainless dates on me. And I'm still not buying it. You could ask out Hughes, or one of your crew."

Roy could do that, but considering the current situation he didn't think that that would be such a good idea. Not that he would ever consider sleeping with any of his personal staff - well, with the exception of Riza perhaps – but going out with any of his men saw the likelihood of them doing their best to talk about the women they saw. Or more likely about the assets of the women they saw. Hughes in particular would try his best to get Roy to surrender. Therefore the previously considered value of the 'no sex' point when it came to Edward once again made him Roy's best candidate for a dinner companion.

In conclusion, Ed was still his best option. But if the direction this call was taking was any indication, Roy's best option was trying to wiggle his way out of this. The Flame needed to do this fast, before this conversation got any worse.

"So, yes or no?" Forcing Ed to make the choice quickly was the most likely way for this to succeed.

Silence. For a few seconds Roy feared that Edward was about to tell him that he would have to find another way to occupy himself tomorrow. Then, finally an answer.

"Yes." Considering the incredulous tone of Ed's voice, the blond didn´t exactly believe he'd just agreed either.

"Good, I´ll pick you up at six," was the smug reply, and before Edward could change his mind, the Colonel wished him a good evening and slammed the receiver down.

* * *

Unfortunately, after sleeping in, Roy was not tired, so going to bed early was out of question.

It was amazing how much time he had when he was not dating or planning a date. After some wandering around, Roy finally found himself in his study, reorganizing his notes.

Stumbling upon some of his old research, Roy quickly became engrossed. There were a lot of theories that he'd had in his younger days that he now knew would never hold water, but one or two of the ideas he's once abandoned still held some potential. Back then he had been stuck with problems and not enough knowledge to solve them. Being more experienced now, he quickly found different ways to approach the once insuperable barriers.

Roy laid the papers down on his desk and went rummaging for the rest of his research. He found it – shamefully - in a stack of things that he'd stored away assuming he would most likely never use them again. Taking them back to his desk, he began organizing the notes by topic, along with suitable volumes from his library to augment them.

Many hours later, overwhelmed by exhaustion, Roy fell asleep over his reanimated alchemic research.

Day 7

Roy could not believe how much his passion for alchemy had been abandoned in favor for women.

He didn´t even mind the stiff neck from waking up with his face on his folded arms, still bent over his work. It had felt wonderfully fulfilling to be working on alchemic theories again, using his brain in a way he hadn´t for years. It had taken a little while to get into it, but afterwards the train of his thoughts could barely be scribbled down fast enough before a new idea would hit him.

So the first thing he did after his morning routine was to organize the notes he'd taken yesterday. Then he went for a walk. After sitting for hours it felt good to move and be out again. Amazingly enough, he found it easy to ignore the smiles and winks some women sent his way. His mind was occupied, trying to work out a calculation that had put a halt to one of yesterday's theories.

Proud of himself, Roy decided to do some cooking again. Yesterday evening and most of the current day were spent with almost no sign of a hard on. The only exception was his morning glory which had once again forced him to endure a cold shower. But aside from that he'd managed to occupy his mind and ban any arousing, sex-related thoughts.

There were still a few hours left until he had to pick Ed up, so the Colonel returned to his desk and once again became engrossed in alchemy. After about two hours however, he realized that his thoughts were beginning to repeat themselves. Whenever that had happened in the academy he'd known it was time for a little distraction to get his head clear so he could work again.

Now he had a problem. Since the research was already his distraction, he needed a distraction from the distraction. This was starting to become ridiculous. With a sigh the Colonel leaned back in his chair. He had no clue what to do.

In the academy Roy's usual distractions were either a jog in the park, or a visit to a local bar. The first he had already done that day, and the second made no sense, since in about two hours he would be going out to meet Ed.

Roy preferred not to think about the third type of distraction from back then. Which was banging one or two of the female cadets from the women's dormitory across the parade grounds. Although the house staff of both the men's and women's facilities did their best to prevent their charges sneaking in and out of the dorms, the young soldiers in Roy's circle of friends always found a way around them, mainly because one of them was an alchemist. In fact, Roy's status as a State Alchemist was particularly impressive to the ladies.

His little trip down memory lane brought Roy's thoughts back to Edward. Ed would not be impressed by Roy's alchemical prowess as the girls had been. Most likely, the blond alchemist would be not impressed at all. The simple arrays that Roy used back then were child's play for the blond. Literally.

But maybe he could use Edward as a distraction sooner than planned. Roy got up and went for the phone. Time to plan a date.

* * *

Edward appeared surprised by the fact that Roy had indeed gone out of his way to plan their date.

Being a former member of his staff, Roy had already collected a lot of personal information about Edward, and was putting it to good use now. So instead of taking Ed out to another run-of-the-mill place like the day before yesterday, he'd made reservations for one of the few Aerugan restaurants in Central. The only one in fact that also served some Ishbalan dishes. Coming from the South East, Roy was sure there were some influences from both cultures in Resembool's cuisine, and most likely the blond would find something on the menu that he missed from back then. And as an added bonus, the menu included lots of seafood and meat, but rarely milk.

Seeing the bill of fare, Ed blinked, then stared at Roy before his gaze wandered back to the list.

Satisfied with the reaction, the Colonel grinned while picking out his own choice.

"What the fuck are you planning, you bastard?" Ed muttered into his card.

Faking innocence, the Colonel addressed his menu as well.

"I´ve no idea what you are talking about," he said. It even sounded innocent. The muttered answer was not exactly recognizable but most likely included a few insults.

Seeing their waiter approach and knowing Ed was still not ready to order, Roy took the opportunity to order a light Aerugan wine. A rare Aerugan wine from a vintner that was not only expensive, but also produced a very limited number of bottles per year.

This time the former Major put the menu down, and once again stared suspiciously at his dinner companion. Yes, Roy had to admit that not _all_ his knowledge of Ed came from back then, but he'd had a lot of free time today.

"Is something wrong?" Once again the very picture of innocence, Roy even added a, "Would you prefer another wine?"

"It´s fine." Ed practically spat the words out. Which earned him a satisfied and knowing smirk from across the table. So far, Ed was holding up quite nicely. A lot of women would have been impressed by him choosing one of their favorites. His current date however looked more like he wanted to murder him.

They stared at each other silently until the waiter returned with the wine, and Roy's smug grin returned as Ed did indeed order one of the dishes that could only be found here. After placing his own order, the Colonel found himself once again the target of a death glare. But this time the Fullmetal seemed to have decided on a battle tactic.

"You wanted to have a conversation," he reminded Roy and lifted his glass to the lips. Easily recognizing the attempt to fish for information, the Colonel had just the right thing to say to throw Edward off balance again.

"Yes, but first I´d like to invite you to dinner at my house. Sometimes this week perhaps?" Smiling charmingly at the blond, Roy tried not to laugh out loud as Ed almost spit the wine out and barely managed to swallow it.

"No."

Damn, that was rude. "Are you sure? I was hoping to discuss some of my recent alchemic research with you."

This time Ed had not been drinking anything, but if he had, he would have choked on it again. This was turning out to be quite a lot of fun, Roy mused to himself.

"Can it, Bastard. You´re not doing alchemic research. You´re too lazy for that."

Did he have to sound so sure about that? Slightly ticked off, the Flame Alchemist shrugged as if he didn´t care and took a sip out of his own glass, mentally counting down from ten. The moment he reached zero . . .

"What research?"

Nice to see that Ed could still be manipulated if one pulled the right strings. Casually reciting some of his theories, he saw the blond shrug.

"Sounds like you´re working for once." Ed finally admitted. "So is that what you´re plotting? You´re not making any progress and now you're trying to bribe me into helping you," he accused.

Roy shook his head, amused. "I´m making very good progress." Which was actually a fact. "And I just thought another alchemist's opinion would be welcomed. But it's not really necessary, and you already said you won´t come."

Now the younger man looked like he had a headache. Roy could literally see the battle going on inside his companion's head.

"Uhm…." The blond growled and finally surrendered. "I have some free time on Wednesday."

Once again, Roy received a murderous glare for his smug grin. Just for emphasis, the Colonel was the very portrait of self confidence as he acknowledge the appointed day as "perfect." Ed´s swearing and drowning down of his wine in one go – clearly wishing it to be something stronger - did nothing to deflate Roy's ego.

The next sentence however did.

"So, is it true?"

"Is what true?" There was no way Ed could have heard about it, was there? The bad feeling from the last time he heard that question returned.

"That 'little Roy' is as incapable and impotent-" He did not say that! "-as the useless bastard he´s part of?"

Such a short sentence, but the Fullmetal had managed to call his dick small, incapable, and impotent, along with insulting Roy with three ways of 'useless'. The shrimp's delivery had definitely improved since the time he'd been in the military.

"No." The Colonel spat the word out and saw his opponent raise an eyebrow in mocking doubt.

"Well, it would explain your lack of dates, and why you're suddenly doing alchemic research again. Too much time on your hands instead of something else?"

Feeling his anger grow, the Flame Alchemist leaned over the table.

"I already told you, there is no such problem." Ice crept into his voice and he found himself the target of an intense gaze. "It´s just a rumor, and I would be very interested to know where you of all people heard it. It´s not as if you have so many social contacts."

Obviously taken aback, Edward leaned back and shrugged. "Winry mentioned it. It must be quite the popular 'rumor' to have reached all the way to Resembool."

Roy blinked and starred. And finally Ed took pity and explained.

"She had a customer from East City, and the woman was chattering off all the gossip. Some friend of hers was visiting her parents and of course they met to share the latest 'news'. From what she told Winry, the friend – the one who visited her parents– went out on a date with you but you were . . . unable to satisfy her." From the look on Ed's face, Roy realized that he was very carefully rephrasing. Considered this was Fullmetal, Roy really did not want to hear the original story.

Sitting back again, Roy barely suppressed the curse escaping his lips and swore to kill the bitch next time he met her. Picking up his on his muttering, Edward finally asked what happened.

"She´s lying through her teeth, that´s what happened," Roy snapped, but the blond was not impressed at all.

"So you didn´t date her?" Figures, he had to pick on the one point that was true.

"I did." He admitted with a disturbed grimace. Seeing Ed's eyebrow rise once again, the Colonel questioned his sanity to talk about _this_ with _Edward Elric_. Sighing deeply, he tried to explain the situation even though he didn´t know why he bothered.

"I did date her. She invited me in and I refused. Now she´s spreading this bullshit to get the better end of this."

"You refused?" Roy couldn´t figure out the look he was receiving from the other end of the table.

"Yes." It couldn't be so hard to believe.

It could. He blinked as the blond leaned across the table while he removed the glove from his flesh hand. The feeling of warm skin brushing his hair out of the way to place a palm on his forehead left Roy sitting perplexed for a few minutes until he realized what the Alchemist was doing. But before he could explode, Ed was already sitting down again.

"You're not running a fever. Are you sure 'little Roy' is okay?"

"Don´t call him that! I´m fine and very capable of getting it up!" Roy hissed, putting up with the embarrassment to get his point across.

Ed chuckled amused. Grinning at his former superior he leaned his chin on his hand. "Mind, if I confirm that?"

Roy felt his jaw drop. Edward did _not_ just say that he wanted to check on Roy's ability to get a boner. And in fact, Ed really hadn't _said_ it. Edward Elric's version of the seductive purr was far more enticing than Julia's had been. It sounded to Roy like raw sex, and he felt the heat shoot down straight into his groin.

Starring incredulously at the blond he wondered what the fuck had just happened. This was too surreal to be true. Until Ed burst out laughing.

"Relax, Bastard. You need to breathe again."

Breathe? Oh. Right. Slowly letting the air out of his lungs, the Colonel was very thankful when the waiter took that moment to bring their orders. He needed the time to put himself together again. It seems Ed did as well. But for a different reason. Finally able to get a hold on his laughter, the former major reached for the silverware.

"So, will you enlighten me about what really happened?" With that the blond attacked his dish, and Roy was grateful that Ed was at least keeping up the illusion of table manners.

* * *

Leaving out the bet and how it figured into the situation, Roy told the story of his date with Julia. As it turned out, Ed found the story very amusing, and as long as he was not laughing at Roy's expense again, Colonel had nothing against it. The Fullmetal seemed to agree on the point that stupidity was a turn off, and offered some very amusing opinions of what he thought about Julia's behavior.

As the story neared its end, the atmosphere was relaxed and there were thankfully no more attacks on Roy's dignity.

"So she spread some rumor about you being impotent, just because she was turned down," was Ed's final ruling, and Roy nodded with a sour expression.

"She could at least have said that I was gay," Roy groused. "That would at least have been more believable. The general would never disappoint me." It took him a moment to notice the silence from across the table.

"Why does your dick have a higher rank than you?"

Roy choked on wine. He didn´t know how much he'd drunk, but they weren't on the first bottle anymore. That at least would explain how he could let his guard down enough for _that_ to slip through. Avoiding Edward amused gaze, he stared into his glass.

"I´m not letting you wring you´re way out of this one," he was informed, and the faint purr in Ed's voice had Roy wincing. "Come on, Mustang. Answer the question."

"Hughes." Roy finally muttered.

"What?"

"Hughes holds the view that it´s well deserved." He glanced at Ed's confusion and sighed. That would not do it. "He thinks the general is the better soldier. Standing at attention when needed, never complaining about too much work, very eager to fulfill his duties. And always a good shot."

It took a while for Ed to recover from that, but at some point he managed to talk again. "So when you get promoted to general - " Ed started, and Roy blinked, anticipating the blond's logical conclusion. He hadn't thought of this. Considering his dick needed to be higher ranked than he was. . . "- it wouldn´t be the first time the country is ruled by a complete dick."

It was silly and stupid. But this time, Roy joined the blond in his fit of laugher.

It wouldn´t be the last time that night.

**Tbc**.

* * *

Finally, Roy gets a break. And his asexual Ed thesis the first blow ;-P


	6. Allies

I´ll skip the whole A/N stuff this time ._. you´ve waited long enough.

Only two things: Ca11iope, thank you once again :D

And for all the reviewer: Thank you guys *_* You´re awesome!

* * *

raigingstorm: ^^ I´m happy you liked it! I certainly liked you´re comment XD

o-Jeff-o: It did, so you´re opinion is absolutely correct :D Although it´s nice to read from time to time Ed and Roy jumping at each other. Or already being a couple. But I thought I add one more fic to the getting-together-during-fic- stack. In my opinion that one is too small ;_;

As for the dates: I´d love to do so as well XD And I would NOT leave once they enter the bedroom ^.~

Onyxlight: There you are ^^ once again, thanks for the double commenting. I´m happy it made you laugh.

Sachiel Angelo: How much exactly…. You´ll find out ;D Ed not being childish from time to time, even as an adult… I don´t think that would be fitting ._. (At least, not without a very good explanation why he changed)

Catalog Cats: Spit-takes rule the world ;-P I´ll do my best make you laugh as much as I can, I promise ;-P

iStoleYourChips: Your comment made me blush ^/^ and hyper (the good kind). Two weeks or not, I´m happy you decided to review :-D I´ll do my best to update this as fast as I can. Zakai is one of my favs too and I adore her *_* (And you can keep the chips, as long as you leave the cookies, brownies or muffins XD Sorry, you probably hear comments about it a lot, but your nick is awesome)

twiztidchick666: I know, it´s one of the thinks that let you think 'Why am I laughing, it´s not that funny!` while you laugh your ass of XD But I´m happy it worked this way ;-P

The Curse of Forever: Not if Roy has any say in the matter… I don´t need to tell you he doesn´t, do I? :D

* * *

**The bet of the year**

**Chapter 5: Allies**

Day 8

One week down.

Considering how well the last two days had gone, Roy was once again feeling confident that he could win this bet.

Yesterday's date in particular had been a pleasant surprise. While insults were still exchanged from time to time, the atmosphere had been comfortable. It had amazed the Colonel how easy it had been to talk with Ed about a wide variety of topics, including those that would have turned the blond into a bright red and protesting brat a few years ago. Fullmetal had definitely grown up while he'd been away.

And despite the fact that Roy hadn´t slept with anyone for a whole week, he returned to work in good spirits.

The good spirits didn´t last for long.

When he entered the office, obviously in a good mood, his subordinates were immediately suspicious, and Havoc reached for the phone as the door fell shut. Most likely the Second Lieutenant was placing a call to Hughes, to have the inquisitor sent to Roy's house. She wouldn´t find anything.

After lunch a new stack of paperwork was waiting on his desk. The dark haired man took a few deep breaths as he reached for the first sheet. He made short work of it, signing off after reading it over. Opening the second file he found a full color photograph of a very well endowed young woman in a rather acrobatic pose. Blinking confused, the Colonel peeked at the next file. A formal report. After throwing the pornographic sheet into the bin he continued his work. Two signatures later he found himself confronted with a pair of spread legs. He quickly scrunched the paper and once again filed it in the garbage bin before reaching for the next. A field report. After that was a miniskirted secretary bent far enough over a desk to reveal her lack of underwear.

Swallowing hard, the Alchemist called for his first Lieutenant.

"Sir?"

"Hawkeye, did you place this stack of paper on my desk?" He hated the hoarse note in his voice.

"Yes, Sir." He stared. This was very unlike Riza. He was prepared for more attempts at cheating, but this was not Hawkeye's style.

"Sir, this paperwork was put together by various departments." The woman explained, noticing his look. Ah, that made more sense. Likely she had no idea what had been planted in amongst the legitimate paperwork.

"Which departments?" He needed to do some digging. As his Lieutenant recounted the various origins, Roy soon found the culprit.

"Lieutenant Havoc was in charge of sorting the mail this time, wasn't he?"

"As you ordered, Sir." Her look clearly told him that he had dug his own grave. Taking the sheet out of his superior's hand, she inspected it. For some reason Roy felt like a schoolboy in front of his teacher.

"Sir, I recommend you do your paperwork and just ignore these." Faint traces of amusement lifted the corners of her lips. But it was not the slight smile that had Roy gapping at her, disbelieving.

"Excuse me?" Roy said incredulously. Who was this woman, and what had she done with his First Lieutenant? She was acting as if explicit pictures in her superior officer's paperwork were nothing unusual. And he couldn't do that paperwork without sorting through the porn. He would have to look at it for that. Normally Hawkeye would be pulling her sidearm and going in search of the perverted culprit who would dare do this, not simply ignoring this as if nothing had happened. Was she just going to let it slide?

Her next words, along with a shrug confirmed it. "I will hand in a formal complaint to the postal office."

After you finish your work. Even unsaid, the words hung in the air, right over his head. As if nothing out of ordinary had happened and Roy was being unreasonable, just using this as an excuse to avoid paperwork. Though Roy wished that pornography-laced paperwork could be the norm, say in about three weeks, right now he did not need this. Looking at the enormous stack of paper, the Colonel's protest sounded more like a squeak. After clearing his throat, he tried to phrase his thoughts again.

"I believe I should have Havoc sort through this again." The slight panic in the Colonel's voice was barely noticeable and gave Hawkeye the perfect opportunity to overlook it.

"Sir, you´re not trying to slack off on your work again, are you?" And just like that, her gun was in her hand, and her eyes once again had the hard and calculating look of a sniper drawing down on her target with lethal intent.

"No!"

The hastily stammered denial didn´t take the aura of promised pain and threat from the woman, though she nodded with an, "I expect it done today, Sir."

Hawkeye put her gun away and left the office.

* * *

Havoc had sorted porn into Mustang's paperwork. And Hawkeye had let him. Roy would not have believed it possible. Okay, he would not have believed the second part was possible. What Havoc had done was perfectly believable. But Havoc and Hawkeye were allies now, united as bet partners. The Colonel should have seen this coming. The lure of having a compliant Roy diligently doing his paperwork without complaint for a full year had been too strong, and now his loyal First Lieutenant was going to turn a blind eye to all attempts to make Roy's life difficult in the office. And Hawkeye's ever present, loaded argument would ensure that Roy could not slack off. She would simply act as if this was like any other paperwork that found its way onto his desk, and considering that this had come from the post office, technically she was right to do so. At least when it came to the damn protocol. No way this was right by any other standards.

Nonetheless, there was absolutely nothing he could do to avoid his current, porn laced predicament now. He knew Hawkeye would be checking on him, and would take action should it appear that he was shirking his duties.

At first, Roy tried to simply sort out the colored pages without looking at them too closely, but it turned out that the blond man in the outer office had foreseen this. The porn was everywhere. Inside the files folders. Stapled to requisition forms. In between folded sheets. And sometimes he would turn a form over to find the image of a woman in an inviting pose smiling seductively at him taped to the back.

He did try to ignore this. He attempted to concentrate only on the words of the formal reports, but every time he opened one of the folders to stare at yet another half or completely naked woman, his concentration was shot. And each time it was harder to not let his gaze roam over the curves. Harder to keep his mind out of the gutter and not let his thoughts wander. Harder not to imagine what could be done with the women. In no time at all Roy noticed that his hands had developed a constant tremble. As well as an elevated pulse rate. But he continued to try to work on the reports, to concentrate on the requisitions.

This went on for over an hour, Roy's concentration slipping further and further from his control, until the inevitable finally happened. He flipped open a file folder to discover yet another scantily clad beauty, her large breasts almost ripping open a nearly transparent shirt. Hard nipples bulged out the cloth between her fingers, that seemed to be trying to cover this detailed display of arousal, but could easily have been playing with the sensitive flesh, rubbing over it through the fine cotton of her shirt. It was far more erotic than a picture of a completely naked woman, and the heat in Roy's lap, and the beginning hardness of his dick, were clear proof that the image was not failing to deliver the desired effect.

Forcing his eyes away from the picture, Roy's mind reeled, still imaged her playing with her breasts, applying pleasure to her own body. Hands clenched tight on his desk, it took the man some minutes to regain control of his senses. The next two reports Roy didn´t even read. He simply signed on the dotted line, still seeing a tight shirt and hard nipples.

Opening yet another folder, Roy cursed. He knew the woman on this page. He had dated her once, not so long ago. Remembered her in the very same pose, just a different location. Her bed instead of the prepared one in the photograph. Through his mind went pictures of what had happened next. Of him accepting her invitation. Her moaning, her panting. He remembered how good it had felt to thrust into her hot body. As did his dick.

It took just under one second for the general to stand tall, as if he was trying to get his head over the desk edge to peek at the porn himself. The military trousers might be designed to fit rather loosely, but Roy's underwear was definitely uncomfortable now.

The Colonel wasn´t breathing anymore, he was panting . Swallowing hard he tried to put the picture aside, but his hand didn´t want to follow his order. His dick also made its approval of the photograph known, twitching slightly as if to announce that it was still down there and better not to be forgotten. As if that was possible right now. Finally, Roy's fingers let the photo loose. The sheet fell to the table once again. But it was too late. His cock was demanding attention, and insisting on getting it right now. Leaning back, Roy gripped the arm rest of his chair, simply so he would not grip his member. Closing his eyes, he attempted to control his breathing. Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath –

"Sir."

Rizas voice cut through his concentration and Roy opened his eyes wide, staring at the first Lieutenant like a deer into headlights. But the Hawkeye simply took the signed documents, not even taking a second glance at the impressive bulge in her superior's trousers. Professional as ever, she told him to keep up the work and left the office. Roy stared after her, still hard, but the encounter had helped to ease the feeling of arousal. Until he glanced at the stack of paperwork and porn again.

The sight alone and the thought of what could still be hidden in the official reports was enough to encourage his dick to attempt to bore its way through the cloth of his underwear.

Roy bit his lips, quite sure that if he got any harder, he would probably rip the fabric of his pants without even touching it with his hands. At least it felt that way, and it hurt to have his erection caged in these boundaries. He just needed to get his dick out, before Hawkeye returned for another check. Or before he saw the next image. And then, somehow he needed to make it through the day without any attempts to relieve himself.

Fuck, he was doomed.

"Sir!"

The harsh tone in Hawkeyes voice had him blindly reaching for the next folder. But this time, the Lieutenant did not leave the room. Instead she watched as her commander turned over the page and winced. Only the thought of Hawkeye seeing him humiliate himself by ejaculating into his pants from looking at porn of all things kept him from coming. That one had been very good at sucking his dick. Two weeks ago.

He almost didn´t hear Hawkeye's voice as she told him she would leave him alone to work in peace, or the quiet slick of the door closing behind her. He could imagine how close she must have been to telling him she would leave him alone to jerk off in private. Well, he would not do that. At least he hoped he wouldn´t. He still needed to get his dick out of his unbearably tight underwear and he needed to do it now.

His trembling fingers unfastened the waist cape from his belt and opened it. Next came the button of his trousers, and as he pulled down the fly, his cock gave an anticipatory twitch, sending pleasure through his nerves. Once again, he griped the arm rest. Breath in, breath out.

He stared down in his lap and gingerly picked at the waistband, slowly lifting the cotton from his dick and suppressing a moan as the cloth slid over the tip of his erection, down the length, applying sweet pressure to his balls and the base of his hard shaft.

Not good enough. If he left his underwear like this, the waistband would keep rubbing against his hardness. Swallowing, the Colonel lifted his hips out of the chair. Glancing at the door, he prayed that neither Hawkeye nor anyone else would choose this moment to come in. The friction when he tugged his underwear further down his thighs had him quickly gripping the desk's edge. Panting, Roy waited for his legs to regain the ability to hold his weight. He then tugged the waistband beneath his balls as he sat down again, but removing his hand from underneath the sensitive flesh had his finger accidentally stroking over his skin. A breathy moan escaped him. That light touch, barely noticeable, just felt so fucking awesome.

It was exactly what he needed, what his body, his dick begged for. And Roy could not imagine anything better right now than to do as his body desired. Fondling his balls, finally stroking his cock and rubbing the hot flesh. Up and down and again and harder and faster until his semen spilled over this god damn paperwork, this porn. That was exactly what he needed.

What he needed, but what he didn´t do. Instead he could hear the chair's leather arm pads crackle beneath the hard grip of his fingers as he waited to be able to think again. Think of anything besides what he wanted to do right now. Panting, eyes closed, he waited. But every time he opened his eyes, he saw the stack of paper and thought of sex.

A knock on his door and Hawkeye's voice, asking to come in, brought him close enough to reality to accomplish an incredible act of desperation. He pulled the cotton of his trousers up over his hard member, trapping his dick against his lower belly, and buttoned the damn pants closed. This time however, when he pulled up the fly, he almost lost consciousness.

But not out of pleasure. His arousal was reduced to nothing. Whimpering, sobbing, Roy promised himself never again to close his fly when there was nothing between his sensitive, hard dick and the zipper.

**Tbc.**

* * *

Yes, I admit :D that was mean…

So, did I manage to make you believe for a sec that Roy lost his bet?


	7. Payback is a

**Summary**: "It was the bet of the year, though technically, it couldn´t even be called a bet anymore.  
It was more like a battle, one of the hardest battles he'd ever fought. Roy Mustang against three people. Roy Mustang against piles of paperwork. And Roy Mustang against sex."

**Warnings**: unbeta'ed A/Ns, evil plotting, otherwise same as last chapter

**Beta**: Ca11iope once again earned my upmost gratitude ^.^

**Notice**:

"Speaking"

'Thinking'

"_Letters, reports etc...and…" _

* * *

Calcium Fist: here you are :D And the next chapter is in beta now, you won´t have to wait long for it. I´m happy you enjoy the story :D

Onyxlight: *LMAO* Yes, 'little Roy' deserves separate pity :D After all, he´s the real victim XD (but 'little Roy' and big Roy both prefer the term 'general' :D that is, if you don´t want to take eds side on this one XD) A really low blow, but you reap as you sow. *pointing at chap title* :P

o-Jeff-o: Killing them would make him the loser of the bet, since really, once he doesn´t have a reason to continue, he most likely would just storm out and screw xD The poor general is now also nicked 'little Roy'. As if constant denial is not enough ; P *bow* I know the little trick was mean, but hey, we all enjoy being evil from time to time ;-D But thank you for admitting XD

immortal-lover14: Indeen XD it´s not even half time u.u

Catalog Cats: Ouch XD Exactly. But body parts with good blood circulation (And this goes double for Roys dick right now) heal faster, so don´t worry ^^ He won´t be unable to perform anymore XD

The Curse of Forever: Well, sorry ^^ you need to wait a bit more but at least, there will be some ed next chapter again XD

* * *

**The Bet of the Year**

**Chapter 6: Payback is a…**

Day 9

After yesterday's painful encounter with the zipper, it had taken Roy most of that evening to get the paperwork finished. The majority of that time was spent either in a state of arousal or in pain. Arousal whenever he came across yet another pornographic image, and pain whenever his dick decided to react to the feelings the pictures awakened in him. Thanks to the injury, every boner was killed at first twitch, but it wasn't a solution to this problem that Roy was willing to repeat.

Walking home was like a walk through hell. Roy had tried to adjust his clothing into a comfortable arrangement, but even with his dick's former attempts to stretch the cloth, his underwear was still too tight and uncomfortable for the wounded general. So the first thing the Colonel did once he finished his work was make a short foray to the facilities to get rid of his underwear. It made walking at least bearable, and it certainly wasn't the first time he had gone commando. Like Ed, Roy had worn some rather form fitting pants himself in his teenage years, and had often abandoned additional underclothing in favor of a smooth and sexy frame. In more recent years the Colonel had more than once opted for a quick escape from an enraged boyfriend that his current fuck had _forgotten_ to mention, over a search for missing underwear. So as long as the military trousers hid it, Roy did not care much that he wasn't wearing anything beneath them.

Nonetheless, when he'd returned home it had been very late, and when he finally found sleep, it had been very _early_.

And the consequence of that fact was currently blinking in red numbers on his alarm's display.

7:30 am.

Shit. He'd forgotten to set his alarm.

He had to start at eight o´clock. As in start writing at eight o´clock sharp if Hawkeye had any say in the matter, and her guns confirmed that she unfortunately did. And by now his dick had recovered enough to be _standing_ in front of him as if waiting for its own kind of work, proving to be much more interested in getting down to business than Roy was at the moment.

The lack of time assured that the shower had to be quick. Too quick. It did little to subdue him, and today's battle was won by the general, who continued to stand tall and proud. Roy once again cursed whoever had designed these damn uniform trousers. They were too loose to keep his dick upright against his lower belly, and the waistband was too high to attempt using it for the same purpose. His underwear was still too tight and far from comfortable, but would be useful in trapping and concealing his member's current state. Sadly however, Roy had no idea what awaited him today, and the last thing he wanted was a repeat of yesterday. The underwear stayed in his dresser. Roy's only alternative was to endure it and wait it out.

The Colonel had absolutely no time to waste, and he left his house with his dick leading the way. To disguise the fact that his member preferred the horizontal at the moment, he didn´t put on his jacket, but swung it over an arm held in front of his body. It looked casual and not perverted, but it also would not allow him to run. Still, with his cock in the state it was, running was already out of question.

This early in the morning, the air was very cold, but Roy preferred freezing over showing off his state of arousal, even under cover of his trousers. Thankfully, the cold and the time it took to get to Headquarters finally allowed the tired man to put on his jacket once he reached the building, properly dressed, and with no hard member in front of his midsection, he finally appeared like the respectable, career driven Colonel he was. A tired and cranky Colonel too, but not a perverted and weird one.

The moment he saw the door to his office, anticipation hit him full force and a smile that could only be described as nasty formed on his lips. Lying awake until the early hours of the morning had given him plenty of time to think.

Payback was going to be a real bitch.

* * *

Havoc appeared nervous throughout the entire morning, and the Flame Alchemist was delighted to let him roast on that small flame for a while. But when the blond man finally started to relax after lunch, assuming the danger had passed, Roy let revenge dictate his actions. The look on his Second Lieutenant's face as Roy called him to his inner office showed that he was more than a little alarmed. Good. Because it was time to give him a taste of his own medicine.

"Lieutenant Havoc." The malicious purr coming from the alchemist reduced the color in his subordinate's face to white.

"Sir?" Fiddling with his cigarette, Havoc awaited his orders.

Roy didn´t say anything. He simply pointed at a stack of paper on the coffee table in front of his couch. The Lieutenant shot him a confused and slightly panicked look, but followed his lead and went over to the papers. Roy could place the exact moment when the man recognized the pictures.

The stammered attempts to explain died quickly however as Roy leaned back in his chair with the look of a spider, watching the fly struggle in its net. Finally, the torture could begin.

"You see, Lieutenant, these papers were accidently sorted into my mail yesterday. Of course both Lieutenant Hawkeye and I are fairly certain that it was a mistake." Roy's tone made it very clear that he knew exactly what really had been.

The sense of doom displayed on the face of his junior officer grew with every second. By now the man knew his superior was plotting something evil. Exactly what that was would soon be revealed.

"I do have my doubts however, and would very much like to discover who is responsible for this, even if only to return this fine collection of photographic art to its rightful owner," Roy continued. "I also want to make sure I haven't overlooked any important documents in there. I´ve done a quick overview, hoping to find a clue to this person's identity, but just to be sure I didn´t miss a clue, or an official document, I want you to thoroughly examine. Every. Single. Sheet."

Unsure what his superior was up to and why he would allow him to look through porn while on duty, the blonde shrugged and attempted to gather the papers up to take them with him, but the motion was quickly interrupted.

"In here, Lieutenant." The harsh tone didn´t allow protest and Havoc's wince did nothing to discourage his Colonel. Quite the contrary. Havoc stood frozen, staring at his commanding officer, unable to comment on the order.

"And just to make it clear, Lieutenant. Both Hawkeye and I think this 'paperwork' should be done as quickly as possible. So I will permit no breaks, not even for smoking." And certainly not for masturbation.

At this, Havocs jaw went slack and Roy's lips formed a smug grin.

"And I know you wouldn't dare to act inappropriately in the presence of your superior officer," Roy's unmistakable warning rumbled out, quietly, but still perfectly audible in the silence.

When the other man didn´t move, but simply stared at him, eyes wide and mouth open, the Colonel barked the order in his best commanding officer voice.

"Now sit down and start working!"

* * *

One hour of the shift was left and Havoc was reduced to a whimpering, needy bundle with shaking hands and a slightly crazy look in his eyes. For once it was not Roy whose trousers sported a bulge.

Of course the blond man had tried to reach for it. More than once. At first the sound of a clearing throat was enough of a hindrance, but not for long. Soon Roy had had to make a show of pulling on his gloves while looking pointedly in the general direction of Havoc's groin. Finally it had taken a demonstration of just how good the Flame Alchemist's aim was by setting a spark on the blond's hand as it snuck into his lap. The last was accompanied by a promise that Havoc's dick would be the next target. After that impressive display of precision fire alchemy, Havoc had behaved.

The sight of the pathetic creature his subordinate had become helped to improve the Colonel's mood drastically. The whimpers, sobs and dampened moans were like music, becoming better as time passed and more and more agony and desperation crept into Havocs voice. The blond finally approached his commander's desk, task complete.

"Permission to leave, Sir?" The trembling voice revealed the state of a man just short of crying like a baby. Taking a look at the finished stack, the Colonel smiled. Of course no 'important documents' or identifying clues were found within the sheets. But instead of answering the question, Roy called for Hawkeye.

"Sir?" Once again, the sight of an erected, horny man did absolutely nothing to shake her professionalism. For a moment the alchemist wondered if she was into women, but it was nothing he wanted to think about right now. Reaching for a note, he held it out for her to take.

The moment she read the notice, her eyebrows went upwards. But instead of asking questions, she simply nodded and saluted. Satisfied, the dark haired man finally turned to Havoc and smiled once again. But not in a good way. In a way that clearly told Havoc that the Colonel was not quite finished with him yet.

"Lieutenant Hawkeye will accompany you to the men's facilities. If you do anything other than conceal that…" he pointed at the man's lap. "… she is ordered to shoot your balls off. Separately."

A whine escaped the blonde man, but his superior was still not done with him.

"Afterwards, you will hand deliver the note that I gave Hawkeye to the General it is addressed to."

With a look of approaching doom, the Second Lieutenant took the note and glanced over it.

His eyes widened and he gasped for breath before he finally surrendered and stammered in a begging voice that his superior could not do this. Should not do this.

"…please, Sir, I want to become a father one day…"

"Dismissed." Roy's smile was cold as ice.

The desperate muttering became lost as Hawkeye pulled the Second Lieutenant out of the room and closed the door. But even through the wood, Roy could hear the outer office explode in mocking laughter from the rest of the crew. They questioned what Roy had done to him and wondered aloud if Havoc was gay, since he had come out of his male superior's office in such state.

A glance at the clock and with a smug smile the flame alchemist leaned back.

Most likely, the General temporarily stationed in Central would take Roy's offer of an assistant as an attempt to suck up, and the blonde Second Lieutenant would once again be subjected to harsh treatment, mostly because he would be under suspicion of being a spy for Colonel Mustang. But that was not what amused Roy the most.

Olivia Armstrong was a female general famous for her rudeness toward anybody she viewed as weak, who she identified as everybody except the soldiers under her own command.

And General Armstrong was an extremely beautiful woman.

With a short and violent temper.

And a very sharp sword.

* * *

The day shift had ended half an hour ago, but no one in Mustang's command had left the office. They all were waiting for Havoc.

When the man finally appeared, he announced two things.

First, that he was not going to stay for long, since General Armstrong had provided him with enough work to keep him in the building for a few more hours, and was only allowing him this ten minute break. Most of the ten minutes had already been spent in the men's room, fulfilling his desperate craving for nicotine and a quick hand job. The lack of time had forced him to do both at the same time, and being a normal male, multi-tasking was not his forte. Not only had he choked on the smoke, he'd also nearly burnt his pubic hair.

The second announcement was simple. "I said it before and I'll say it again. He´s evil."

But instead of the sympathy he expected, Havoc's comrades shrugged it off.

"Next time you decide to cheat, do it in a way that will not delay him completing important paperwork." Figures, even though she'd kind of helped him with his scheme, Hawkeye was far from happy over the lack of paper that had made its way out of Roy's office yesterday. That was likely why he had not been able to beg his way out of the Colonel's evil orders.

"Yeah, that was really low!" Fury proclaimed. Which was no surprise to Havoc. The technician was one of Mustangs biggest groupies.

"You should have called in ill today." Heymans declared. After all, even Hughes had avoided Roy after his own attempt to manipulating the bet.

"Perhaps he was too greedy and wanted to collect the money from our side bet," Vato said suspiciously as he flipped through the betting book. "Yes. Your money was on the Colonel losing yesterday."

Growling, the blonde man cursed his fellow officers, but the looks he received clearly told him that they thought he deserved everything he'd suffered.

* * *

Knowing that Ed would be visiting him tomorrow, the Colonel wanted to make sure that his fridge was well stocked. He returned home with his arms full of groceries, naturally encountering one nosey neighbor trying to wring information out of him. After all, it was obvious Roy would never manage to eat this much food before it would rot, and he had never brought his dates home, simply to avoid smitten women that thought of him as long-term relationship, or worse, marriage material. After a few minutes trying to get rid of the neighbor politely, he finally growled a few short, but very honest sentences she certainly did not want to hear. The woman hummed, offended, and after one last look at the wine bottle sticking out of one bag, she turned on her heal and stalked off, most likely to spread some gossip.

But even after putting the groceries away and cooking a quick dinner, it was still much too early for Roy to go to bed. The problem was that even though the Colonel was tired, the general wasn´t. Encouraged by a faint but very noticeable heat in his groin, Roy found his mind slipping on a regular basis, and he knew he would only get hard again if he tried to sleep now. At the moment he was not exactly aroused, but the constant denial of attention to his body's needs definitely let his hormones get the upper hand more than they normally would. Considering this was only the ninth day into the bet, the Colonel did not even want to imagine how easy it would be to get him aroused by the time the bet was over. And finding out was certainly not something he looked forward to.

Abandoning that line of thought, Roy decided to occupy himself until _all_ parts of him were as tired as the rest.

Edward Elric once again provided the needed distraction. Roy spent the evening sorting through his notes, arranging the various directions of his research into a logical sequence, so that it would be easy for another alchemist to follow his reasoning and offer constructive opinions.

By the time he was done, Roy was finally tired enough to sleep.

**Tbc**.

* * *

Finally someone else suffering :D Well, you reap what you sow.

And next chapter, finally some Ed again ^^

I originally wanted to make it one big chapter again, but decided against it. One, because I can update faster and two, next chap will most likely be a longer one even without this part.


	8. Unexpected

**Summary**: If you read this far, you´ll know what this fic is about ._. Summary will be kicked out in the next chapters

**Warnings**: unbeta'ed A/Ns, evil plotting, shocked charas, otherwise same as last chapter

**Beta**: Ca11iope ^-^ I´m short from calling you a co-author XD Thank you once again!

**Notice**:

"Speaking"

'Thinking'

"_Letters, reports etc...and … " _

* * *

The Curse of Forever: Here you are ^-^ One Ed delivered XD Express service :D

Fullmetal-chibi-freak: Thank you, I will XD

o-Jeff-o: happy you enjoy the chapter. As for Hughes: Keep wondering XD I´m not telling :-X No offense, I just don´t want to spoiler you ^.~

._. And honey, you are special XD No kidding, I enjoy every comment very much and if you take your time to comment, answering is the least I can do. ( And I don´t think it´s really fair not to answer. I myself would feel a bit left out as an reviewer ^^ )

Raigingstorm: You´re welcome ^^ Oh yes, it´s a very important fact that Roy keeps up the fight XD Wouldn´t be fun otherwise (And OOC o.O°)

Sachiel Angelino: Roy told the honest truth XD If a person has nothing better to do in their life than to stalk their neighbors, they should either get a hobby or a dog and stop bothering other people. Considered this is Roy we´re talking about I guess he would recommend the dog XD not that he would ever sink low enough to be a neighbor-stalking gossip monger ._. curiosity satisfied? ^^ As for Ed: Enjoy the chapter XD

* * *

**The Bet of the Year**

**Chapter 7: Unexpected**

Day 10

It wasn´t surprising that on Wednesday Havoc was nowhere to be found.

But that didn´t bother Roy too much. He knew that killing a soldier while at Central Headquarter would be too much of a bother for the lady general, simply because there would be too many witnesses. Nonetheless, from what Major Armstrong told him, his sister had kept Mustang's Second Lieutenant running errands until the early hours of the morning, complaining continuously that his slow progress with the tasks she had assigned him were proof positive that he was nothing but a pathetic wimp.

Still, Roy refused to feel guilty for what he had subjected his subordinate to. The man had had it coming, after all.

However, there was something that in fact _did_ bother him. Hughes had tried to get him to surrender on the fourth day of the bet. Havoc on the eight. And he remembered both of their estimates of how long he would be able to hold out. According to his best friend he should have lost on the fourth day. Which would make exactly three days of holding out. Havoc had given him one week. The very next day he'd tried to cheat. And Hawkeye . . .

"_Maybe two weeks_." Roy shuddered at the thought. He wouldn´t put it past Hawkeye to aim at the general and simply order the body part do its job. But since Riza wouldn´t harm him – hopefully – that would be a bluff. And forcing Roy at gunpoint to lose the bet would definitely result in RIza's team having to forfeit the contest. That kind of behavior went against all the principles of fair play. To lose this bet, Roy had to surrender all on his own.

What did all this mean? Simply put: If Hawkeye decided to cheat, she would in all probability make her move on the first day of the third week. That might be a good day to call in sick. Knowing the Lieutenant however, that tactic wasn't likely to work. She would probably drag Roy from his deathbed before she let him slack off on his paperwork.

Well, he had today and the next four to come up with a defensive strategy.

Another thing that set off the Colonel's alarms when he arrived at work was that both Breda and Fury looked scared. The former not as much as the latter, or perhaps the red head might be hiding it better, but still.

Both Falman and Riza continued their work outwardly unaffected by their commanding officer's entrance.

But all of them bid him a very polite good morning.

Maybe he _had_ gone a bit overboard by sending Havoc to Olivia Armstrong with a boner. While his dick refused to agree with that, Roy found himself overtaken by a tiny bit of guilt. Not for Havoc mind you, but for scaring his other subordinates. And hatching evil schemes against one of their number, regardless of how much he may have deserved it, was not be the best way to keep their loyalty.

So he won his way back into their good graces by sending Fury out to get coffee and pastries for all of them. Roy's treat of course.

Breda, always a slave to the whims of his stomach, proclaimed quietly that Havoc needed to dig himself into shit more often, when he thought Roy couldn't hear him of course. Falman was quick to point out that if their second lieutenant went missing or sick every other day, it would increase the percentage of paperwork everybody else would have to do to keep the office running. And naturally Riza was not happy with the possibility that their effectiveness would decrease.

However the lack of disparaging comments about their commanding officer was a clear indication that they were not holding any grudges. Great. Mission accomplished.

Sadly though, today Roy was finding that paperwork was losing its effectiveness as a distraction. So he took a break from concentrating on the reports to make a few long overdue phones calls, which helped to get rid of the images that had been burned into his mind on Monday.

An order for a new pair of gloves was particularly effective at keeping Roy's thoughts on business. Usually the process was annoying. The cloth was expensive, and the supply officer on the other end of the receiver was always in a bad mood whenever Roy called. Not surprising, since that clerk's house had been one of those that the Colonel once had been in a hurry to leave, without his underwear. Still, that had been nearly five years ago. The man should get over it already. And it wasn't as if Roy had known the woman in question had been in a relationship. All in all, placing an order with the man was usually a chore. Today however, the testy supply officer was a welcome diversion. Roy took his time and delayed the process as much as he could, simply to keep the man on the phone as long as possible.

The clerk's muttered insults helped to keep Roy's mind out of the gutter, and for a brief moment the Colonel considered inviting the man out to dinner later that week. Still, it was more than likely that the officer didn´t know Roy could hear him cursing. And even if he did, cursing the Flame Alchemist over the phone was a far cry from cursing him face to face. It took a special kind of bravery for that. Sadly, thanks to the gloves, most people acted strictly by protocol around him, so using the supply clerk as another 'no sex' dinner companion was not an option. That, and the fact that the other man was bisexual. After he'd dumped his cheating girlfriend, his next partner had been male.

Which basically meant that Roy would be sticking to Ed when it came to dating. Roy didn't think it at all odd that he was very much looking forward to seeing the young alchemist that evening.

* * *

Even after staying a bit late in the office to finish as few outstanding reports, Roy still had almost two hours to kill before Edward was due to arrive.

To distract himself, Roy found himself in front of the stove, cooking dinner. Not to impress the other alchemist, mind you. But to make it perfectly clear that he was not lazy. No matter how much the blond might believe it, Roy Mustang was not lazy. And not useless. And his dick was not small. Not. Small. Period.

The doorbell rang just as Roy was turning off the heat. Abandoning the food in favor of opening the front door, the Colonel found himself face to face with Ed´s antenna. But before he could offer a greeting, the blonde´s stomach took care of it. Loudly.

At least Ed had the decency to blush. A few years ago he would not have been bothered by his stomach speaking for him. Or rather demanding food for him. But now Roy found himself in front of an embarrassed alchemist.

"Uhm… I guess, I smelled the food out there and… uhm… Hi."

"Good evening, Fullmetal. And good evening, Fullmetal's stomach." Really, if they decided to greet him separately, they should receive separate answers as well. The faint blush on Ed's cheeks spread its way over the rest of his face.

"Stop being an asshole and let me in. I´m starving," The young man muttered, and with an amused smirk, the Colonel stepped aside to let his former subordinate in.

"So I´ve heard." This time, Roy received a sour glance as the younger alchemist got rid of his boots and jacket.

Following Roy into the kitchen, he fished for more information.

"So, what did you orde-" Both the alchemist and the sentence stopped abruptly. Blinking, the blond´s gaze followed the dark haired man, who had started to set the table and portion the food onto the plates. "You cooked." It was a statement, but somehow it still sounded like a question. And absolutely disbelieving.

By preparing dinner himself, the Flame Alchemist had obviously managed to throw Edward off balance, and enjoyed the feeling of having the upper hand. So he offered the other man his most charming smile and tried his best not to laugh as the blond quickly avoided eye-contact. That fact alone was a victory, since the short tempered alchemist could usually bull his way through any uncomfortable situation, and was never at a loss of words. Now however he eyed the table as if he expected the food to attack him.

"I´m not trying to poison you." The obvious amusement in the Colonels voice earned him a murderous glance, but otherwise Ed simply shrugged as if he was not sure he should believe his former superior.

Okay, he knew he'd surprised Ed with a home cooked dinner, but this was getting strange. Roy wondered what was going through the shorter man's mind as Ed finally sat down after an inviting gesture. He kept silent, even as Roy poured the wine into the glasses.

The shorter alchemist downed his in one go.

Roy blinked. Maybe Fullmetal had become an alcoholic in the short time since they'd last seen each other. Nonetheless, he refilled the glass, but this time placed his hand on it as Ed once again reached to take it.

"Fullmetal, tell me what´s wrong." The authoritative tone of the order reminded him of the days when Ed had been under his command, and thankfully had the same effect on the blonde. He received a glare, but Ed let go of the wine glass and leaned back.

"Uhm…" instead of voicing his thoughts, the blond reached for the silverware and began to cut his meat. The way he nipped on his upper lip was a clear indication that the younger man was thinking about how to put his problems into words, so Roy decided to give him some time to do so and sat down himself.

He should have known better than to take a drink before Ed answered his question. He could have avoided a really nasty coughing fit, for what the young man asked definitely threw him off the edge.

"You´re … not trying to… hit on me or something, are you?"

After finally being able to breathe again, he stared at the former Fullmetal. And felt downright insulted that the prospect of him hitting on Ed had the young man looking so creeped out.

"What the fuck gave you that idea?" At his disbelieving tone the blonde finally relaxed a bit. While Roy's ego hid like a beaten puppy, his dinner companion attempted to explain himself.

"Well, you´re acting strange."

Ah, Ed's blush was back. Roy tried not to think of this expression as suitable or even attractive for the young man. But after reviewing his behavior toward the other younger alchemist, Roy had to admit that the conclusion was not as far-fetched as it first appeared. Invitations to dinner, one of them home cooked. A few more or less flattering remarks, and very careful planning on his side for the dates. But before the Colonel could try to downplay these things, Ed continued his explanation.

"You´re acting unusual. You're acting so..." Roy waited expectantly as the man did his best to find the right word. Charming, maybe? Caring? Sexy? " - human." Ed finished and Roy tried not to wince.

Roy acting human was out of ordinary? And to top it all, Edward considered him lazy, useless, impotent, and promiscuous. Just what the fuck had he done to be viewed in such a way?

"You don´t have to sulk, you know." Edward's statement at least contained a measure of amusement again. Anything was better than that air of certainty his voice held when Ed had stated his rather low opinion of Roy. Or the creeped out tone when he'd asked if Roy was hitting on him.

And Roy did not sulk. He was the Flame alchemist, after all. And his reputation included no sulking. Well, except for the times Hawkeye called him useless when it rained.

"I am human, Fullmetal." Roy stated as a matter of fact.

"No. You´re a Bastard. With a capital B."

As if a bastard – sorry, a Bastard - was not human. Sighing deeply, the Colonel decided that this was not a topic he wanted to pursue any further.

"I think you should start eating. Wine on a empty stomach makes you act –" just like yourself. So honest it was painful to hear. "- like a brat."

"Are you calling me short again, Colonel small-dick?"

* * *

Though at first Ed was hesitant to try the food, his appetite eventually got the better of him. And it appeared that after tasting it, not only was he convinced that it was not toxic, but very tasty as well, if the amount he put away was any indication. The young alchemist refused to compliment his host out loud, but Roy was very pleased with himself and his cooking skills all the same. He had cooked enough to feed his entire staff, and hadn´t eaten very much himself, but Edward saw to it that there would be no leftovers. Dessert was served to Ed in the study so he could begin to look over Roy's research, while his host took care of the dishes.

When Roy returned to the study, his own dessert and a second share for his guest in hand, he found the alchemist engrossed in the research. So much so in fact, that he didn´t even notice Roy's presence. The Colonel took the opportunity to let his gaze roam over the lean body of his former subordinate. Not a single roll of fat stood out on the smooth frame, and Roy, not for the first time, was amazed by the amount of food Ed could literally inhale without gaining weight. Considering how beautifully toned the young man was, Roy could guess that Fullmetal still put a lot of practice into martial arts.

Catching Edward's attention took some doing. Clearing his throat did not help. Knocking didn´t either, and it felt weird to knock in his own house. Placing the dessert right beside Fullmetal finally gained his attention. The blond man almost jumped out of the chair.

"What the- can´t you knock?" Then he saw the dessert and immediately his attention shifted away from Roy to the dish.

"I did."

The dry answer did not appear to register. Putting a spoon full of raspberry tiramisu into his mouth while he looked over the notes, Fullmetal appeared as if he had found heaven after all. The dark haired man sighed and sat down beside the blond, doing the only thing that made sense at the moment: eating his own share of the dessert while he waited quietly for Edward to finish pouring over Roy's theories.

Finally, when Roy had almost finished his cake, Ed let his unfocused gaze drift up from the pages in front of him. He looked positively smitten with the calculations and it took a lot of effort on Roy's part to not laugh out loud. It didn´t surprise him that the next thing Ed did was to grab pen and paper and starting to scribble like mad. Any other alchemist would have needed more time to get a grip on the concepts, but Fullmetal was not like any other alchemist. Which didn´t mean he was a specialist in fire alchemy of course. The younger man was more of a specializing non-specialist.

After a few more minutes, the blonde stopped and finally looked at Roy with an expression that the dark haired man could not place. Then Ed's gaze dipped back to Roy's notes again and then back to Roy.

"Uhm…."

Obviously the short man was better able to think when he had high blood glucose levels, because he once again shoved a huge chunk of tiramisu into his mouth while he mentally went over the calculations. Not even taking the time to swallow, he nodded for Roy to scoot closer and pointed at his own equations.

Leaning over, the Flame soon caught the point of what Ed was attempting to explain. Mentally scolding himself for not figuring this out on his own, he nonetheless shook his head.

"To do that you'll need this one - " Taking the pencil out of Ed's hand, Roy quickly sketched a rune into the array in the correct sequence, and after a moment's though added another one. "- and this one. Fire gets out of control very quickly."

As if that wouldn't be obvious to someone who had burned his own house down so many years ago. Even without being there Roy was sure the young alchemist had observed the damage the flames inflicted very closely. Had seen how greedy fire could be as it rampaged uncontrolled, consuming everything in its path, leaving behind nothing but ashes and the violated remains of what once had been his home.

"I see..." The muttering brought Roy back to the present, and he quickly glanced at the man sitting next to him. Quite close next to him, as he only now noticed. But Edward's proximity wasn´t the only thing Roy suddenly became aware of.

Most people who knew both alchemists generally noted how closely Edward resembled his father, much to the young blond's disgust. There was no denying that the two were very alike. But Roy had known Hohenheim, and up close he saw faint differences in his son's appearance. The differences had been much less noticeable when Roy had first met Edward, hidden behind childhood and the brilliant coloring he had inherited from his father.

But Ed had matured, and up close, even those distinctive colors were the not quite the same as Roy remembered about Hohenheim. Edward's hair was a deeper blond, and reflected light differently, making it a richer shade. And where Hohenheim's brows and lashes were a very dark brown, Ed's brows were lighter, and his lashes pure black - strange, considering the man's blond hair. The eyes, too, were different. Both men's were the same shape, but Edward's appeared slightly bigger than his father's, if Roy remembered correctly.

So while it was true that the young alchemist took after his father in appearance, a closer look revealed clear traces of what Edward had inherited from his mother. His nose, for example, had a slightly upturned end, and his cheekbones were higher than Hohenheim's. Roy couldn´t place the chin however. He hadn´t known Trisha, and Hohenheim's beard had concealed that part of his face. But taking into account how extremely stubborn Ed was, the thick head and stubborn jaw had to have come from both sides, and perhaps a few generations combined. And finally, while not as full as most women's lips, Ed's mouth was definitely fuller than Hohenheim's had been. The corners curved differently as well, and Roy would by no means have ever described Hohenheim's mouth as inviting or tempting. Ed's however, especially when he sucked on the lower lip just like that, lost in his thoughts, was –

With a small shake of his head, Roy slammed on his mental brakes. 'Stop right there, brain. We are not going there.' Obviously, the combination of rampaging hormones and the lack of satisfying sexual activity were leading Roy's mind into territory it would not normally venture. He cut his examination of Edward short, deciding to wrap up that line of thought with the observation that while at first glance Ed was a younger version of Hohenheim, up close he was not. End of story.

"Mustang, if you spend any more time staring at me and not answering my damn question, I will cut off your dick and stab it to the desk with this pen. Right in the middle of this array. That way I can try it out to see what effect the array has when activated."

Silence was Roy's first response to this statement. Then, finally, the Colonel put his hands in his lap to protect his precious parts – just in case - and asked Ed to repeat the question.

**Tbc.**

* * *

A bit shorter than planned, but this line just screamed 'I´m a perfect chapter end' at me and I couldn´t resist ^^ Next chapter may take a bit longer but don´t worry, for this fic a bit longer means one and a half week. Most likely it will be out sooner than that. can´t help it ._. The plot bunny locked jaws and is not letting go of me XD Not that I´m complaining ;-P I enjoy writing this as much as you probably enjoy reading it ^-^


	9. Denial

**A/N**: A bit earlier than announced, but I don´t think anyone will complain :D After all, it´s better to promise nothing and deliver something than the opposite.

**Beta**: Ca11iope, you did once again a wonderful job. ^.^ thank you!

**Warnings**: Same as last chapter + (insert chapter title here XD)

* * *

Sitaru: I´m happy you like it :D

o-Jeff-o: They do get closer, but this chapter will change a few things XD The next ones going to be fun *evilchuckle* You know what I mean after Day 11 ;-P

I would miss out on a grand opportunity to torture Roy if Hawkeye didn´t do anything XD

The Curse of Forever: Yes, Roy is just so… Roy XDDD tramp might not fit it exactly, but I know what you mean and yes, I agree u.u sadly… *lol* maybe I should write ahead, just to be able to update fast once you require fast service again ^.~ But considered how fast the usual update rate is… ._. that might be tricky…

Moonangel666: As fast as I can, promise ^_^ Edward asking a question about alchemy might seem strange, but it´s explained in further detail in this chapter. And even reasonable XD (I hope)

Sachiel Angelo: Yes, a very long way to go, but now Roy noticed and therefore there will be a little shortcut ^.~

Catalog Cats: Day 11 morning: That one is for you XDDDD I think you will know what I mean XD

* * *

**The Bet of the Year**

**Chapter 8: Denial**

In the end, Ed didn´t perform any castrations that evening. But Roy suspected it was more because Edward knew that cutting his host's dick off would reduce the chance of his seeing Roy's research again than the fact that Roy answered the damn question the very same second it was repeated. Regardless, the General was saved from the guillotine in the form of an automail-blade.

And after the initial threat to Roy's manhood, the rest of the evening saw the pair working very effectively. Surprising, considering who was working with whom. No more insults. Well, very few, and no more threats of bodily harm.

As the night progressed, Roy caught himself observing Ed quite often, although, thankfully, Ed didn´t notice. And the Colonel repeatedly found himself being the object of a very intense gaze as well. He was usually the focus of that intense amber regard when he went out of his way to explain some of the more obscure runes and their bonds with other symbols. Fullmetal was a walking encyclopedia when it came to alchemy, and in any other alchemic discipline their roles would have been reversed. But in this particular branch of the science, Roy was the expert, and some of the symbols and combinations Ed simply couldn´t know because they were not recorded in any book or journal. The majority of these hermetic symbols were developed by the man who had taught Roy himself, and it had taken the Flame Alchemist's teacher many years of careful study, dangerous experimentation, and patience to perfect them.

Over time, Roy had made his own contributions to the collection. He had based his own research on the work of his teacher, modifying, extending, and refining the theories, then experimenting with his findings until his results were solid and functional. Over the years Roy had built a firm theoretical structure for his particular brand of alchemy on the solid foundation of his master's work. Thinking about it brought back the memories of an idealistic young man, eager to study, and proud to develop his own, individual contribution to this amazing science.

It also brought the shameful realization of what has become of this young man.

No longer a scientist, but a soldier.

Roy didn´t regret the path he had chosen, not even after all the things he experienced in Ishbal. Alchemy, a power that could literally change the world's very components, had been not enough to change a country. It had not been enough to end a massacre disguised as a war. In fact, it had made things worse. But despite the way the military had violated his beliefs and forced him to burn his ideals with his own alchemy, the science had remained his passion.

And now he regretted having abandoned this passion in favor of frivolous, mundane pursuits, things like whoring himself out to sluts like Julia. Of course he was a man and needed to get laid from time to time, but the amount of effort he put into dating had grown way out of sensible proportion, and it had taken this crazy bet for Roy to realize it.

His career had bloomed, but his private life had wasted away along with the ideals he'd once had. It left a bitter taste.

"Roy?"

Ed´s voice startled him back to reality. Looking up, his eyes met the young man's beside him. The expression was so open Ed might as well have been screaming his thoughts. Concern. For Roy, of all people. The older man wondered at the hesitant question written in the blond´s eyes, and the lack of insults and threats. And Ed calling him by his first name. Had he ever done that before?

"Yes?"

Roy's voice didn´t sound like it should. Far too quiet, as if it didn´t want to disturb the sudden, strange atmosphere that had appeared the moment he´d been brought back from his thoughts. Too heavy. Too intimate. For a moment Roy wondered what he looked like, what Fullmetal had seen in his face that brought out the sad understanding in the other alchemists expression. For a brief moment, it changed into an encouraging smile. Small, almost unrecognizable, but there.

Ed didn´t question him further, but once again pointed at the research, shifting his attention back to the alchemy in front of him. And Roy took his time, once again observing the short alchemist. He knew Ed must have been aware of it, but this time he did nothing to stop him. The Colonel wondered what had happened to the curious and bold brat who needed to know everything, stridently demanding the information he was denied.

The answer to that didn´t take long to hit the older man. After all, even though he had never participated in a war, Ed was well aware of how little even the most powerful alchemy could accomplish, and how much damage it could do. Alphonse. Nina. Liore.

But unlike Roy, the former Fullmetal Alchemist had not abandoned alchemy. Had not drowned his brain in alcohol and let his dick do the thinking for him.

And Roy was reluctant to allow himself that dubious luxury any longer. After all, he was the one who had lectured Ed time and time again on the virtues of acting like an adult. How often had he counseled his young subordinate to think before he acted, to consider the consequences of his actions, to take responsibility for his mistakes, and then to move on? Perhaps it was time for the Flame Alchemist to take his own advice.

Once again, Roy turned his attention to the work before him.

* * *

When Ed's head hit his shoulder, Roy finally took notice of the time. It amazed him that Edward was tired. Didn't the kid have a reputation for pulling multiple all-nighters in the name of research? Perhaps he had done so already, in order to fit Roy into his busy schedule. The small peak of guilt over that possibility was replaced by a bit of a shock when Roy looked at the clock.

Two a.m.

Carefully shaking Ed´s shoulder, Roy tried to wake the young man. Or rather, the young grumbler, since all Ed did was to continue using the officer's shoulder as a pillow, muttering some incoherent words that didn´t sound nice at all.

"Ed, wake up."

No luck. But at least this time he recognized the words as "Fuck off an lemme sleep."

Lifting one eyebrow, the Colonel stared disbelieving at the blond. How he could even sleep in such a position was beyond Roy's understanding, but if the Fullmetal wanted him to fuck off, then he would do just that. Not literary of course. The Colonel dutifully obeyed the dismissal in the young man's words as he stood up.

A loud crash later, Ed was definitely awake and swearing to the best of his abilities.

"You evil, manipulating son of a bitch! You-"

"I thought you might want to exchange my shoulder for a pillow." Roy drawled, smirk firmly in place.

That shut Ed up in a hurry.

While blinking confused, the short alchemist looked at the table, then at Roy. The other man watched amused as the growing realization turned his former subordinate's cheeks slightly pink.

A sleepy Edward was definitely something he could take advance of.

"It´s quite late. I suggest you take my couch for the night." After all, sending Ed home like this held the distinct possibility that the young man could just doze off while walking.

* * *

Day 11

The very next morning, the Colonel regretted inviting Ed to stay.

After his dreaded cold shower, Roy headed down to make himself a nice, strong coffee. Carrying a second one for his guest, he stopped short the moment he reached the living room.

Ed was not yet awake. No surprise, since without an alarm clock, the young man's sleep was not interrupted. And Roy found out that even in sleep Edward was restless. The blanket had been kicked to the ground, and at some point he had gotten rid of the uncomfortable belt, clear proof that he had woken up sometime during the night. And while he never witnessed it in person, Roy had heard of the young man's habit of sleeping with his stomach exposed. Obviously, he still did.

Silently stepping closer and sitting down on the arm of the couch, he observed Edward's well toned stomach. Letting his gaze roam over the body lying on one of the spare blankets, he noticed that the trousers, without the support of a belt, had traveled dangerously low on the hips. The Colonel's practiced eye caught on the line of a hipbone, and followed the curve down to where the young man's trousers finally hid his most precious parts, an innocent tease if Roy ever saw one. The older man no longer had any doubt that Ed was in fact a natural blond. A very faint line of soft blond hair stretched down his lower abdomen, to vanish behind the cloth of the loose trousers. It appeared that the only thing keeping those damn things on Ed's hips was that one of his legs was bent, which also accented the slight curve of a trim waist. For a moment Roy wondered if that curve ever had been traced by a lover, eager hands pushing the waistband down to wander over tanned skin.

Roy swallowed and quickly sipped his coffee, just so he could blame the growing heat he felt on the hot beverage. Okay, so Ed didn´t look as asexual as Roy had expected – in fact, at the moment he looked anything but – but the plan still stood. Roy was not gay. Ed was not gay. And they couldn´t stand each other. Well, maybe they were managing to somehow get along without killing each other at the moment. But it was just for the sake of distraction – or in Ed´s case, satisfying the hunger for both food and knowledge – and a far cry from jumping each other.

Thankfully, a silent growl distracted him from the thoughts that even in his own mind sounded too desperate for his liking. Shifting his gaze to his guest's face, he recognized the cute curling of Ed's nose as proof that the smell of coffee had managed to wake the young alchemist up. A zombie-like moan of "cooooffeeeeee…" confirmed the fact and finally one of the golden orbs cracked open.

"Not while you´re lying down, I don´t want you to spill it on my couch."

A silent, but almost recognizable curse accompanied Ed's movements, as the man forced his tired limbs to move him up to a somewhat vertical position. With a slight feeling of regret Roy watched the shirt fall down, hiding the muscles he had watched shifting underneath the tanned skin.

"Gimme." Holding out a hand, Ed stifled a yawn and once again closed his eyes. Smirking evil, the Colonel found his plan working even better than expected as he placed the second cup into the former Fullmetal's automail hand.

Amusement and anticipation filled him as he realized that Ed wasn´t even looking as he took a huge gulp of the coffee. And spat it out, all over the man sitting in front of him. But not because it was hot.

"You evil Bastard! You put _milk_ into my coffee?"

The next time Roy tried this, he needed to remember to make sure to sit farther away from Ed. That way he could not only be out of range of the coffee-milk mix being spat out, but would also be more likely to avoid the rest of the beverage following, poured over his uniform by an enraged, short alchemist.

And then said alchemist began throwing insults at him. And pillows. The empty cup barely missed Roy's head. The Colonel fled the scene before Ed's brain was awake enough to remember that he had automail and that it hurt to be hit by a metal fist.

Really, who spits his drink on another person? And then throws random things at his host? How could he have believed the young man had grown up? He was still the same immature, rude person. Only worse.

* * *

The Colonel really should have been expecting Maes to make an appearance, and he should have known it would be on this of all mornings. The Intelligence officer certainly had people watching, and they must have informed him that Roy had had an overnight guest. And since Roy's vengeful wrath appeared to have found a new victim, his best friend had decided it was probably safe to visit him again. And pester him.

"Really, Roy. Ed of all people? You really are getting desperate, aren't you?" The man leaned in the doorway, Roy refusing to step aside to let him in.

"No idea what you are talking about." Roy declared in a dry tone of voice. If Hughes thought he was getting away with his little stunt from day four, he was sadly mistaken. Roy already had a fitting revenge in mind, but he needed to wait for the perfect opportunity to use it.

"Right, you don´t. At least I can be sure nothing happened. Ed looked like a kitten with its fur stroked the wrong way. I´m amazed you´re still alive," the married man huffed out.

That was a very fitting image. With golden eyes narrowed and hissing a few choice insults before he'd headed for the kitchen, Ed had indeed looked the way Hughes described. An amused smirk found its way to Roy's lips and Maes groaned.

"What did you do?" From his best friend's tone, one would think that he didn´t really want to know, but being from the Investigations Division, the man was far too curious for that.

"Just a little prank I pulled on Fullmetal." With a dismissal gesture, the Colonel expected this topic to be done. Instead he received an incredulous look from his best friend.

"A …. prank?" Hughes tried to ascertain.

Wondering why the man looked so surprised, Roy nodded.

"The last time you did something like that was…. Uhm…" Obviously, Maes couldn´t remember any recent incidents, and after blinking in confusion, Roy joined in the search. He could remember a lot of pranks they'd pulled on teachers and fellow cadets in academy, but something recent? He'd gotten the better of Havoc the other day, but that was more a planned revenge. The members of Roy's team played tricks on each other from time to time, and Roy joined in the general banter, but actually doing something himself? Once or twice on Maes, but the last time had been a good two years ago, if not longer.

"Well, I suppose it's about time I pulled a good prank on someone," Roy finally concluded, ignoring the strange look Hughes sent his way.

"You need to get laid," Maes said. "You´re acting strange because of the bet."

All Roy did was chuckle, amused. Hughes sighed and headed down the walkway, still shaking his head. Roy's emotional state wasn't what Maes had expected. It had been over a week since the Colonel had had sex – much longer than he was used to. Hughes had expected his friend to be going through something like drug or alcohol withdrawal, showing signs like irritability, nervousness, and frustration. Watching the Colonel's face carefully, he saw a shift into a slight grimace before the man returned to being amused. That was all. Roy was in much too good a mood for the situation. This wasn't natural. There was only one logical conclusion.

His best friend had lost it.

* * *

"You´re acting like a fucking five year old." Ed had grumbled, sitting at the breakfast table. "At least now I know how much of your limited intelligence was shut down with your second brain. The thinking one."

"… is still working. Not sorry to dispute your thesis." Roy finished the sentence.

Ed's bad mood had been so very amusing that morning, even though – after changing and showering again - Roy had had to take care of his guest by making some pancakes. At least that brought him back into Ed's good graces, enough to have the young man's mind return to the research.

Breakfast over, the pair had parted ways, Roy heading to the office, and Edward off to where ever it was that he spent his days. The two alchemists had agreed to meet for lunch the following day to exchange notes. Until then, both of them would separately write down their theories and possible approaches, and Roy would prepare a small collection of fire symbols along with their meanings and intended uses. It was necessary information that Ed would need to effectively work in this subject of focus. Of course Roy wouldn't normally make his precious alchemic research available to anybody, but this was Fullmetal. Roy knew he didn´t have to tell the young man that the materials were classified, for his eyes only. Edward would understand that implicitly.

Sitting in his office, his paperwork a poor distraction, Roy was brought back to yesterday's strange situation, the way Ed had watched him with quiet concern when the older man had been caught up in his memories of Ishbal. And that brought back the realization of just how much Ed had changed. It was a short step from there to the changes in Ed's physique.

Instead of the report in front of him, Roy saw dark cotton with empty loops where a belt should have been. A waistband too low to be considered decent. Tanned skin, marred with faded scars that did nothing to detract from its beauty. Detail after detail found its way back into Roy's mind. The shallow cup of a navel. Shadows cast over smooth skin, shifting slightly with every breath. The flex of toned muscles shifting as Ed sat up, just before his shirt dropped to hide them.

The moment he realized that he had begun to wonder how Edward would look without a shirt falling to hide his flat stomach, and no pants denying the view, hips moving rhythmically astride Roy's lap, was the moment Roy began to panic.

He didn´t really want to know! Why would he think that? He didn´t, wouldn't think like that! Roy's panic became overwhelming when he noticed the heat in his lap and the slight hardness of his member.

* * *

"Havoc!"

Jean jumped up as his commanding officer stormed out of the inner office.

"Yes, Sir!" Silently praying that the Colonel wasn't here to continue his torture, the blond was shocked by the terrified look on Roy's face.

"Your cigarettes. Hand them over."

What? Blinking confused, the Second Lieutenant was amazed at how fast his nicotine sticks were grabbed and the thief retreated back into his own office.

He wasn´t the only one staring after Roy.

"What the-" Jean didn´t even finish his sentence, and the rest of the crew exchanged baffled glances.

Even though it didn´t look like the man was about to break his vow, they were going to call Hughes. The Colonel was acting out of his mind.

* * *

Roy needed something to calm his mind and think rationally. He had quit smoking years ago but now he violated the poor sticks like his life depended on them.

Well, maybe not his life, but certainly his sexuality.

His mind, he quickly corrected himself. His mind was playing tricks on him. This had nothing to do with his sexuality. It was just a side effect of not getting laid for over ten days. His hormones were the reason that the general was acting like this.

He did not – emphasis on the _not_! - have the hots for another man. And certainly not Edward Elric of all people. He had not just imagined the young man in his lap, moving his hips in a steady rhythm.

"Fuck." Swearing violently, Roy almost swallowed his cigarette, but his hands were still shaking. That had to be a normal reaction to the denial his body was being forced to endure. Shaking hands, unreasonable thoughts.

Once the bet was over, he would find a woman and fuck her until both of them lost consciousness, and when he woke up, things would be back to normal.

Wincing, he repeated in his mind, again and again, that he was straight. Not gay. Not bi. He was straight. And therefore, he did not want to fuck Ed.

He would repeat it until the general believed it. He would ignore the protests of his erect dick on the matter, ignore the arousal at the thought of the short alchemist straddling his lap. He did not want to fuck Ed.

He didn´t.

* * *

Despite the fact that he'd spent far too much time smoking frantically, Riza did not shoot him for slacking off. In fact, Roy's staff looked rather worried over his drastic change in mood, peering in through the open door to his inner office. But when the Colonel's only response to questions about his wellbeing was to light yet another cigarette – using a lighter of all things, hands trembling as he did so - and to send Havoc out to pick up more, the members of Roy's command decided that it might be better not to ask again. At least, until Maes arrived.

Roy returned to his paperwork, stopping every few minutes to shake his head and mutter something incoherent before returning to work on the documents. His subordinates watched him and worried, waiting for the Lieutenant Colonel to arrive. Maes finally rushed in and was waved over for a hurried conference at Hawkeye's desk. He then cautiously approached Roy and demanded to know what was wrong. Roy snapped.

"Everything is fine. Normal. Just like it always is. Except this fucking bet. . ."

'is messing with my head.' He didn´t say this part out loud, but still received yet another set of worried glances. Carefully, Hughes left the inner office, closing the door behind him.

"I think we should cut him some slack, the bet is getting to him. Or at least that´s what it looks like," Hughes said reassuringly.

"He was fine this morning, but I guess mood swings are to be expected," Hawkeye observed.

The sympathetic nods all around were unsure. None of them felt very comfortable right now.

"Well, he wasn't having any mood swings up until now. He's been grouchy, sure, but right now he seems kind of . . . unstable." Surprisingly it was Havoc who tried to reason the Colonel's behavior out. Or maybe not so surprising, considering the way he himself had acted after just half a day of forced abstinence.

"Just imagine how he'll be acting next week if he makes it that far!" Breda said, eyes wide.

Everybody groaned at that, but Breda's comment broke the uncomfortable mood.

* * *

Roy stayed late that evening, just to finish his paperwork. Well, to finish his paperwork and to try to distract himself. After hours of repeating his mantra, Roy had almost managed to convince himself that this was just a result of the bet, and that he was completely straight. This had been a onetime occurrence, an anomaly brought on by severe stress.

The only time the general was expected to salute some ass, it had to be female. And he hadn't gotten really hard. He'd just got . . . slightly hard, not worth mentioning at all. Stuff like that happened all the time – like when a teenager goes through puberty, with hormones flying around all over the place out of control – so there was no reason to be concerned at all. He was sure that his dick hadn't actually reacted to Ed, it must have reacted to . . . something else. A momentary fluctuation of hormones. A stray, subconscious image. A random female pheromone happening by. But not Fullmetal. Definitely.

Tomorrow, when Roy met the young alchemist again, he would confirm that, no question. Nothing would happen, he knew it.

**Tbc**

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* * *

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Progress! ^-^ Finally -.- took me long enough and I hope the jump isn´t too drastic. I blame it on the fact that Roy finally became aware of Ed in a physical way ._. (And therefore did the General XD)


	10. Pulling rank

**Beta**: Ca11iope ^^ many thanks for taking the time to do the beta ^^

**Warnings**: Same as always

I´ll make it short, you know the routine XD enjoy!

* * *

Raigingstrom: Oh, I´d love to see the fic animated XD Who wouldn´t want to see an aroused Roy nonstop XDDD But I appreciate you thinking they are OC ^^ And no, no rest for the wicked XD next attack on Roy: this chapter :D

The Curse of Forever: Accepting his problem is the first step to healing? Roy view of healed: Having some proof that he is not into men XDD Not gonna happen :D

Catalog Cats: Yes, Roy is losing it ^^ And now lets try a shock therapy *whistleshappy*

Sitaru: Nothing wrong with you, hun XD you´re just one of the few people who actually admit they are perverted sado-masochists XD Welcome to the club ^.~ I stopped there because I´m a member of this club as well XD

Sachiel Angelo: Sorry for the wait ^^ but at least: more progress this chapter :D

o-Jeff-o: I´m happy you liked the chapter and am curious what you think of this one XD It´s even worse, but I think in a good way. For the readers, not for Roy ;-P

ixamxeverywhere: He does :D Sorry for the wait ^^ but here it is and since we already know he has the hots for Ed: torture time XDDD

moonangel666: thank you ^^ Sorry for the wait, I had to boot my laptop from scratch and afterwards I managed to lose my contact lenses – Sunday of course – and buy new ones so I can even see what I wrote XDDD But hey, at least the laptop won´t crash anymore XD

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* * *

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**The Bet of the Year**

**Chapter 9: Pulling rank**

Day 12

Roy waited, anticipating Edward's arrival. The former Fullmetal had insisted on meeting him at this café, and while the Colonel didn´t know why, he didn´t mind. The pastries looked delicious and the coffee was very good.

Ed was nearly twenty minutes late, and torturing the Colonel without even knowing it. Since his unnerving reaction in the office yesterday, Roy was very eager to confirm that Edward had not suddenly become some kind of crush for his former superior officer. Most of the previous evening, and rather a lot of cold water, had been spent convincing himself that it was all some kind of fluke. The older man almost jumped out off his chair when someone patted his shoulder. The next moment Ed slid into the seat across the table, unaware of the heart attack he had almost caused.

"Damn fucker wouldn´t let me out one minute sooner." That was most likely as much of an apology as Roy was going to get, and he blinked in confusion.

"And who exactly is this 'damn fucker'?" he decided to ask, quoting both the name and tone Ed had used.

The blond stopped his rant short, realizing that Roy didn´t know what - or rather who - he was talking about. With a slight huff, the blond crossed his arms over his chest.

"My project partner. I´m doing a freelance project right now and the man who´s paying for it insisted that I work with a partner of his choosing. As if I need one." The blond looked rather offended that his current chief would dare to force him to work with someone else. "Don't get me wrong, he´s not a bad alchemist, but it takes him forever to get it, no matter what I´m saying. The guy is just so slow!"

Mentally, Roy scratched out Ed's assessment of his partner's cognitive ability. Compared to Fullmetal, ninety percent of alchemists were 'slow'. Only Alphonse was really able to follow Ed's train of thought fast enough, and Roy had found himself struggling more than once himself. Only the fact that some of the symbols that Roy used were unfamiliar to the blond man saved Roy's ass from landing in the same boat as the poor guy Ed was complaining about.

Realistically, the other alchemist simply couldn´t measure up to the prodigy he was partnered with, and worse, was most likely miserable, convinced that the whole project was way over his head. And to top it all off, Ed wouldn't even realize it, because for him it was perfectly normal to work at this pace. He simply could not understand that others might need more time to work out the equations and meanings. Understandable, considering that Ed's only basis for comparison was Alphonse, an alchemist just as gifted as he was. It was downright cruel for Ed's project partner to be teamed up with someone so gifted, but at the same time so socially oblivious.

Shrugging, Roy picked up the briefcase he'd brought to carry his notes in, which had earned him a few strange glances and shrugs from his crew. The moment he opened it, he could see Ed leaning over the table, as if to peek inside, resembling a child impatiently waiting for his birthday present to be revealed.

Or a lover leaning over the table to be kissed.

Gritting his teeth and handing the sheets over, Roy mentally scratched out the second simile and was relieved to notice that his dick hadn't reacted to the momentary mental image, hastily abandoned from his mind.

And it was the first proof. Not gay, not bi, not hot for Ed. Yes!

While the former Fullmetal studied the notes, Roy in return did the same to the man across from him. Well, he had noticed that Edward had become very attractive. That was normal, a man needed to be aware of his competition after all. It was certainly no indication that he might have been interested in Edward as a bed partner.

And really, he was the famous, _woman_izing Flame Alchemist. He was not gay. He's shagged women on a regular basis before this bet. Possibly hundreds of them. And sure, that might mean that he was bisexual, but he was quite sure that he wasn´t. If he were, he would be likely to have some kind of reaction to a horny man, wouldn't he? But the sight of Havoc's boner back in his office had done nothing to arouse him, so why would something as innocent as Edward asleep on his couch do the trick? The thought alone was ridiculous.

He was straight. Damn it.

"Hey Bastard! Wake up!"

Ed's voice startled him back to reality and Roy realized that a young woman was standing beside their table, a little notebook and pencil in her hand, waiting patiently. Edward must have been a regular here. His reference to Roy's parentage was met only with amusement by the waitress.

"Coffee, please." Hastily placing his order, the officer tried not to appear too embarrassed for spacing out, but the suppressed laugh coming from across the table told him it was in vain.

Ignoring the snickers, Roy picked up the notes Ed had placed in front of him to look them over, finding the margins filled with what appeared to be book titles.

"I wanted to cross check this with some books from the library, but the ones I need won´t be available until Saturday." Disappointment heavy in his voice, Edward crossed his arms and placed them on the table. Shifting his attention back to the notes, the Colonel was surprised when Ed continued after a few seconds. "The project I mentioned is due on Sunday morning, and we'll probably have to pull an all-nighter to finish it on time. So I was wondering –"

"Yes, I can pick up the books." Roy quickly interrupted before the former Fullmetal could choke on his words.

With every sentence the younger man had talked faster, and the Colonel understood why. Ed didn´t want to ask anything of his former commander, so he would most likely have continued until he either lost patience and bit the bullet, or Roy finally caught on to what Ed wanted him to do. Maybe he should have played dumb just to see what happened, but he didn´t want to spend his whole lunch break hearing the man rant. And it would make Roy look stupid. That was definitely not something he wanted to add to the Fullmetal's already extensive list of insults.

Of course that didn't mean that he would let Ed off the hook too easily.

"So, your project is due for Sunday morning. Then you will have to write a report. I have plans for Monday." Which would most likely include dodging Riza to avoid whatever scheme she might hatch attempting to get Roy to lose their bet.

At the prospect of the books being delayed, Ed looked more and more crestfallen and finally spoke up.

"I can write the report later. I´ll catch a few hours of sleep and see you on Sunday?" Even if it was simply for his research, the fact that Edward was trying to visit him as soon as possible left the Colonel smug. And the next stroke for his precious ego was within reach. Shrugging nonchalant, he aimed for a verbal jab.

"With this attitude, it's no wonder you always handed your reports in late, Edward. Even after all this time, you still don't realize that communicating your results in an organized manner is just as important as the project itself," Roy observed with a smirk. First, piss him off. It would be much more fun if Ed was angry. And obviously it was working. The young man's eyes narrowed dangerously, and his answer brought back memories of an order-flouting brat.

"That´s because reports are a total waste of time," Ed growled. "There are much more productive ways to spend your time –"

Shit, the straddling image was back. 'Pull yourself together, he is not talking about that!' Roy reminded himself, and forced his attention back to the ranting alchemist.

"- like researching. Eating. Sleeping. Fuck, -" Mentally wincing, the Colonel prevented his mind from slipping into the gutter again. "- even watching the damn grass grow is more productive! At least a botanic alchemist might get something out of the observation." Huffing, Ed leaned back and tried to stare him to death.

Roy was quite sure he missed the middle part of that rant, and therefore answering could result in Edward figuring out he hadn't been listening as closely as it appeared. But it didn´t matter, Roy had reached his goal of having the former Fullmetal enraged.

"So, should I order dinner for Sunday?" With the emphasis on order. Ed blinked, opened his mouth and without saying anything shut it again. Obviously he'd figured out what Roy was fishing for, and the dark haired man's smug grin confirmed it.

He could actually see the blond mentally wrestle with himself. The problem was that Edward had to either tell Roy to order dinner, or be forced to admit that he had enjoyed the Flame Alchemist's cooking. And he had enjoyed it.

Biting his lower lip, the blond alchemist finally found an appropriate answer.

"Order something? I was under the impression that you were practicing your cooking skills. Or at least you should be. You need it."

"But if you find my cooking skills that bad, practicing on a visitor would be a bad idea. Far be it from me to impose on a guest." Grinning widely, Roy watched the young man pout at his failed attempt to get home cooked food while insulting the Colonel at the same time.

"I don´t mind," Ed said, smiling indulgently. "I can stomach it, and an independent opinion might help you to improve." Observing the man across from him, Ed waited for either a counterattack or surrender.

Like Roy would give up so easily. Hadn't Edward labeled Roy a manipulative bastard more than once, and with good reason?

"But it would be a waste of precious research time to cook barely edible food and force my poor guest to eat it when he doesn´t really want to." Pulling the research card was a bit of a double edged sword and could backfire, but Roy was confident. It was clear that Edward was thoroughly engaged in Roy's theories. Roy kept his expression mild as he watched the younger man struggle for a suitable answer.

"I told you I don´t mind," Ed said hopefully.

It was the last attempt before defeat and they both knew it, but Roy didn´t mind his prey trying for every escape route. It was definitely more amusing that way. Watching said prey expectantly, he waited for the admittance. When Ed still denied him his victory, he even added a stretched out, "Aaaand…?" to encourage him.

The short alchemist grimaced as if he had bitten into a very bitter lemon, forcing out an, "And it wasn't _that_ bad."

"Not that bad? But still, delivery will be faster and taste much bett-"

"Fine. The food was good." From the look of it, Ed just wanted to get over the matter once he knew he couldn´t avoid it any longer.

Victory. With a self satisfied smile and a purring ego the dark-haired man leaned back.

"So what? You´ve lived alone for quite a few years, it´s no surprise you might be able to cook one or two things," Edward almost spat out, and despite the jab at his private life and age, the Flame just grinned wider, knowing very well this would be more effective than answering verbally.

Bristling like a cat about to be thrown into a filled wash basin, the former Major picked up Roy's notes again. Just to put them down as the waitress placed coffee cups in front of them. As well as a plate filled with pastries.

Roy couldn´t remember ordering, but seeing the way Ed's face lit up at the sight of them, he obviously did.

Taking a closer look, a feeling of doom took hold of the Colonel as he noticed that the pastries were long, cylindrical, and thick. Ed took one of the rolls into his hand and the moment his lips wrapped around the pastry Roy's imagination went on a very wild rollercoaster ride. His mind replaced the baked roll with another kind of roll, and arousal hit like a sledgehammer. Engrossed in the notes, Ed was in no hurry to eat the damn thing and really, what kind of perverted baker shaped his pastry like a nicely sized dick?

Hell.

How long was Ed going to sit there with that puff pastry dick sticking out from between his lips?

Finally, Ed bit into the warm dough and Roy winced at the mental image. Thankfully it prevented his cock from becoming hard. Until he noticed with a twitch of panic that the peni- the _pastry_ in Ed's hand was filled. With cream of all things.

Swallowing hard, the Colonel noticed the dryness in his mouth. This shouldn't be allowed! It wasn't decent! How could Edward do that in public! There were children present!

Once again the young man's lips wrapped around the roll and damn, Roy's dick was suddenly jealous of pastry, twitching slightly in his lap. Watching Fullmetal eat the first of the four cream puffs, he could feel the beginning hardness in his lap twitch upwards. The scene unfolding before him was like a horrible car accident: too terrible to watch, but impossible not to.

Realizing he was in the middle of a café with his dick rising rapidly to full attention, Roy quickly lowered his gaze onto the table. This couldn't be happening. The general was supposed to stay absolutely unimpressed, but the heat in his lap and the hardness of his dick spoke another language.

He was not gay! There had to be something else that was attracting his dicks attention! Roy checked out his surroundings, looking for something else, _anything _else, that could be responsible for his arousal. Nothing presented itself.

Roy manfully wrestled with his panic, using all his skills to keep his inner turmoil from his face. He had to calm down. Okay. He was becoming hard. But it was not because of Fullmetal. To prove it, he would just look at the young man, and it wouldn´t have any effect on him. Roy looked up and damn, cream was sticking at the corner of Ed's mouth. Roy watched as Edward slowly licked his lips as he reached for the third roll. The general was about to stand up and unequivocally reject Roy's claim that his reaction had nothing to do with Ed fellating the baked goods.

The Colonel quickly pressed the briefcase onto his lap to prevent his member from going to full vertical. Having a tent sticking out of his trousers in public, and in front of Ed, was not something he wanted anyone to notice. And really, Ed was not sucking the roll. He was eating it. Biting it. Roy needed to concentrate on the biting. Nothing sexy about that.

Concentrating on this, the Colonel desperately tried to convince his dick not to become any harder, and for a moment it seemed that he had it under control. Then Ed decided to actually suck the cream out of the roll.

Roy just sat and stared at the young man, the battle lost. It hadn´t even taken one full second for the general to be pushing forcefully against the leather briefcase in an attempt to stand tall. Roy didn´t have to worry about becoming hard anymore. His new challenge was to get rid of a raging hard on in the middle of a busy café.

Noticing the Colonels gaze, Edward flinched slightly and wiped the cream away with his left, ungloved hand – when had he taken off the glove? Must have been somewhere between licking his lips and deep-throating the damn roll.

"Yeah, you don´t need to tell me. I know it´s messy, but they make the cream without milk and I can´t get enough of these fucking rolls."

Yes, Roy could clearly see that. After all, if someone licked and sucked his dick like that, the general would feel very appreciated. Oh fuck, if Ed would just do that to his cock. He clenched his hands around the coffee cup to prevent them from noticeably shaking, and as his member once again attacked the briefcase on his lap, Roy was actually afraid that the general would slap the briefcase up into his face and demand attention. Thankfully physics was finally on Roy's side, and try as it might, his cock was not able to lift the bag.

Which wasn't all good news. Rubbing against the attaché case was doing nothing to decrease his arousal. Quite the contrary.

Roy didn´t know if he should be thankful when Ed finally picked up the last of the perverted baked goods. At least it signaled that this torture would soon be over, but he didn´t want to see it. He lowered his gaze, staring into his dark beverage.

It did not help.

He didn´t know if the blond had done this while eating the other rolls, too fixated on the visual aspects, but now Roy was very aware of the appreciative moan as Ed bit into the dough, the satisfied purr once he swallowed. The sounds sent hot waves of arousal straight down to the Colonel's groin.

His hands griped the cup tighter. The coffee was sloshing, but Roy wasn't clenching the cup to prevent his hands from shaking. Now he was doing it so he would not reach into his lap, remove the briefcase and free his dick. Allow the general to stand up so he could wrap his hand around his erected manhood and stroke it.

But he was in a café, he couldn´t just jerk off in front of everybody, in front of Ed, even though he so wanted to see the look on the other man's face as he did just that. And the seductive sounds reaching him from across the table added another dimension to the image of Ed riding his cock.

Oh fuck, no. Once again attacking its prison, his dick was greatly enjoying the sensation of rubbing against cotton trousers trapped between his erection and the leather of the briefcase.

Watching Ed eat was bad. Not watching was much worse. Roy's imagination was far too vivid for this. He returned his gaze to Ed's face.

Looking was bad as well. Roy's erection twitched against its cage, and really, it shouldn´t feel this good. It should feel uncomfortable, this was frustrating. But his dick wanted to be in that tray, lined up in that row of cream rolls, waiting for its turn. Wanted to be the next treat that Ed took into his mouth to lick and suck and . . . Roy wasn't even bothered by the biting anymore. That had to be one lucky pastry.

"Hey Bastard!" Holding the remains of the last roll in his hand, Ed's voice forced his gaze to lift from his lips up to his eyes. Which seemed so very innocent and worried. "You´re spacing out again." And then he took the roll back into his mouth.

"Right. Sorry," was all Roy managed to say, fixated on the sight in front of him.

He didn´t believe in god, but god damn that baker. And the bakery. And this whole café. And this fucking bet. Roy couldn't believe he was seriously contemplating masturbation at the sight of Ed eating. He was not an exhibitionist. He was in public, the idea shouldn´t hold any appeal. But he shouldn´t be sporting a soon-to-be very painful hard on because of some pastry either, and the general should be his ally and not pull rank on him. Shouldn't demand that Roy admit that yes, he wanted to fuck Ed, and he wanted to do so badly. There, he'd admitted it. He might not be gay, but he had to be bisexual, because yes, he wanted to stick his rock hard dick into Ed's mouth.

By desperately submitting to the general's argument, Roy hoped his dick would calm down. It had won the round, Roy freely admitted that. It could now stop trying to drive him crazy, imagining things that were far too unhealthy for a man forced to bear an agonizingly hard and twitching erection.

Oh look, Ed had finished. Roy was just short of sobbing in relief, but then the blond leaned over the table to look into his eyes.

"Again. And you look kind of flushed. Are you alright?"

No, he was not alright. But he would be, if Ed would only lean a little bit further over the table. Then he would be near enough for Roy to fist one hand in long, golden strands and direct his head farther down. The tables were low enough. Roy could stand up, use his free hand to open his trousers and pull his dick out. And shove the tip between those lips and thrust his hips forward. Then pull back again, until his member was almost free before he would slam it back into that warm mouth. And repeat, and again, and again. Maybe pause from time to time to give Ed the chance to do the same things to his cock as he'd done to those rolls. Licking it, sucking it, and then Roy would thrust in again. Until, finally . . .

Fuck, this time it actually hurt when his dick showed appreciation for that plan. Roy so desperately wished he could just take the matter in hand. Literally. And at this point he _would_ have taken care of it, the bet be damned, if he could have made it to the men's room. But considering the state of his arousal, he would either scream or come if he attempted to stand up, and for now the thought of that happening was still enough to hold him back.

"I´m-" horny as hell and mindfucking your mouth, but otherwise "-fine, thank you."

Ed looked skeptical, but shrugged nonetheless and glanced around for the waitress. "Maybe we should order some water for you," he suggested, but Roy's hands were glued to his coffee cup and he didn´t dare to remove them.

"I´m fine," Roy repeated, and this time, despite the desperate need to do something, anything to relieve himself, he managed to sound convincing.

Still studying Roy's face, Ed finally sat down. "Maybe I should walk you back to headquarters," he suggested, and finally spotting their young server, he winked her over.

"What, right now?" There was no way the Colonel would be able to stand up in his delicate condition, but it was no reason to panic. He was a soldier. He had been in worse situations. Though he couldn't recall ever having been in a situation that called for finding a private spot and a few uninterrupted minutes to take care of his body's intimate needs. And at the moment, he would have given a lot to do just that. Oh fuck, how he wanted to do just that.

"Oh, right, you haven't finished your coffee," Ed observed.

A fact that left Roy very grateful. Taking his time with the coffee would give his erection time to calm down. He just needed to survive till then. It was going to be okay. He was going to make it out of here alive.

Ed leaned in again to note that the older man's coffee wasn't even half finished.

Then he announced that since Roy was taking so long, he was going to have another order of cream rolls.

**Tbc**.

* * *

Torturing Roy is so much fun ^.^


	11. Memories and Fantasies

**Warnings**: -.- I can´t wait for the time when I can finally add some _real_ warnings in here…

**Beta**: Still Ca11iope ^^ I´m still grateful she´s doing the job XD

**Notice**:

"Speaking"

'Thinking'

"_Letter etc."_

_Memories/Flashbacks etc. _(I noticed I did that in a former chapter XD So, I add this just as an info)

* * *

Raigingstorm: Very soon :D You can find out the exact date by comparing what Roy thought about the first two attempts at cheating and who guessed what in the prolog chapter. But even the paperwork and everything else will not be enough to hold him back much longer XD

Moonangel666: Well, it sucked to be unable to read fanfics. Or my own writing but that´s over now and I´m happy typing on chapter twelve (yes, my dear beta already got eleven ^^ )

Inumimi1: You mean a cockring or things of the sort? Haven´t thought about it, but these things just delay an orgasm, they won´t prevent it forever ^^ At least from what I know.

And actually cutting off any bloodflow to his dick…. Uhm…. For about two weeks…try to cut off the blood in your finger with a rubber band and see what´s happening XD None of us would wish that for the general to die ^^ But I appreciate your input and am happy to welcome you to this fic ^^ Thank you for the review! And I hope the reply didn´t sound rude, it was not meant to ^^

o-Jeff-o: LOL XD I´m happy to read you enjoy this so much ^^ And that the rolls left a lasting impression :D At least you will have some fun every time you come across such pastries. And yes, it is mean to laugh at someone elses misery, but who cares ;D I don´t mind, the fic was written for fun and you´re not the only one laughing. And Roy has no say in the matter XDDDD And I´m curious to see what you think of this ending XD (Or the one from chapter eleven *whistle*)

The Curse of Forever: I have to agree, definitely healing ;-P I guess he´s feeling a lot better now XD

FullmetalHonyou15: Nice to read you enjoyed it ^^ Everybody is starring… uhm… where exactly do you read the fanfics? XD

The Magik Dragen: I hope your health will improve soon ^^ Thank you for the compliments XD (evil devil, my you had me blushing ;P) honestly, I´m happy you enjoyed the chapter and hope you will like the others as well. About the riding… let´s see ^.^

Ixamxeverywhere: Yes, Ed sucks XD And Roy won´t be able to forget that ;-P I´ve got a whole Calender made for this fic, full of torture for Roy XD The next episode with Ed is already written down and will follow as soon as my beta is done ^.^

Edmy: Thanks for the patience and I hope the time amount it took me to update was bearable ^^ But I´m afraid, Roy won´t get a break after this. He still has to live through some 'hard' times in the future XDDD Very hard time.

**

* * *

The Bet of the Year**

**Chapter 10: Memories and Fantasies**

Day 13

That night he dreamed about sex.

In the morning, he couldn´t exactly remember the dream, but he knew it had been about sex. And cream rolls.

Thankfully, it was Saturday again and he was able to spend an excessive amount of time and cold water to get rid of his painfully hard morning wood, courtesy of his first major erotic dream since leaving puberty behind.

And once he was finally able to think again, Roy naturally tried to downplay the situation. Fine, he had been turned on by some pornographic pastries, but yesterday his brain had been left short of blood as most of it rushed downward, making rational thought impossible. Now that he was once again in control of his mental faculties, he could deal with the situation at hand. And no, he was not thinking about jerking off.

By 'the situation at hand' he did not mean a hard on. At least not a current one. It was the one he'd had yesterday in the café, and as much as he wanted to deny it, Fullmetal had been the inspiration for it. Fullmetal and those damn cream rolls. Roy was not stupid enough to continue this argument with the general. He knew who was in charge.

So. Now he needed to make the best of the current state of matters, which was admittedly going to be rather tricky. As a master strategist, the Colonel always accepted the facts, no matter how untoward. Even if they left his ego searching for a mental rope with which to hang itself. And the fact was that Roy wanted to fuck Ed. Badly. Fine, that was not a problem.

Okay, it was a problem.

But he was a man, the Flame Alchemist, and a Colonel in the Amestrian military. He could work with this.

He had been celibate for almost two weeks. He had betrayed his dick by denying it the attention it had grown used to, and now the general had betrayed him. Equivalent exchange. With his cock.

A whole new level of insanity.

So the fact that he had the hots for another man, and maybe he should be grateful that it was at least an attractive one, could be a consequence of the constant denial of sexual relief. There, that sounded perfectly logical. But it also could mean that this problem might expand to include lusting for other males – a thought that made Roy shudder - and that it might become worse as the bet wore on.

Just peachy.

And this wasn't the only problem Roy was anticipating. He was spending more and more time thinking about sex, and it was becoming easier each day to arouse him. Roy refused to spend most of his time walking around – or sitting around too painfully hard to stand - with an erection. His team's attitude towards his suffering was also getting on his nerves. The memory of their amused glances yesterday as he'd stormed past them holding a briefcase in front of his lap, a failed effort to disguise the state of his member, made his teeth clench anew.

Ed ordering the second plate of rolls yesterday had Roy struggling to suppress a whimper, and the general once again knocking on the briefcase barrier. Only the fact that he was in public had saved him, the last straw in his mind that kept the damn bag on his lap. The Colonel had been pathetically grateful when Edward's break was over and the younger man had hurried back to his project. The moment the former Fullmetal was out of sight, the Colonel's forehead had hit the cold surface of the table, and the suppressed whimpers could no longer be contained. Concerned, the waitress had hurried over to ask him if he was alright and to see if he needed anything, but the dark-haired man had assured her that he was okay, and that he would soon be leaving as well. She'd handed him the check, and evidently sometime while spacing out, he had agreed to pay for Ed as well, adding insult to injury that he should pay for the tools of torture he had been forced to endure.

At least he was able to finish his coffee in peace, staying in the café until he was finally able to walk again. And of course he was late returning from his lunch break, but Riza only commented on it by placing yet another stack of paperwork on his desk. Roy was actually grateful that the amount of work kept him in the office until late that night.

The mental and emotional rollercoaster throughout the day had left him exhausted enough that the moment he fell into bed, he had been sleeping. And dreaming.

The amount of time he'd had to spend under the shower that morning made him consider getting up earlier for work. Each day it was harder . . . more difficult to get the general to back down. And considering how easy it was to arouse him, Roy decided on a change in clothing. It was embarrassing to have to fall back on methods that were effective for hormone driven teenagers, and yes, it might have saved his ass during puberty, but he was an adult now and shouldn´t be forced to do this at his age. Nonetheless, Roy trapped his member against his lower abdomen with fairly snug fitting jeans - disguise strategy number one when you are instantly aroused from next to nothing. Thankfully jeans had a natural bulge where the fly was, which helped to hide the upturned dick. Upturned, because once he became hard, it wouldn´t result in an obvious tent, and while it was uncomfortable as hell, he would not be as likely to embarrass himself in public. The belt was resting at a rather strange angle however, so this was hidden as well, beneath the low hem of a soft pullover.

Looking in the mirror, Roy found it hard to recognize the military Colonel.

He looked younger. More like a human than a dog of the military. A fact that was the original reason why he had abandoned this casual style of clothes in the past. Back when Roy was first promoted to his current rank, many of his superior officers thought him too young to take on the authority and responsibilities of a Colonel, and he had been fighting that perception. But that time had passed, and they could just fuck themselves. He would wear what he wanted. He'd served enough years, and proven his merit many times over. By now they knew very well he was not as naïve as they had thought.

And really, he didn´t look _that_ different.

* * *

On his way to the market, Roy was very aware that he was being stared at. Some vendors even commented on his choice of clothing, and some invited him to come sample their goods. At their homes. He heard more than one whistle behind his back and could swear someone had patted his ass in the crowd. It was irritating.

Things like this had never happened when he dressed as strictly as he usually did. But despite his more casual look he was still a soldier, and most of the people who had invited him to their homes knew that. He bought his groceries from the same sellers every week, since he knew their goods were fresh and of the highest quality. But it was strange having the married vegetable stall lady bat her eyelashes at him while her mother sat beside her, clearly enjoying the view as she looked him up and down a few times. The chattering and giggling broke out the moment he turned away with his purchases.

It was even stranger to have the butcher attempt to flirt with him. The butcher was a rather attractive, and much older man.

And Roy tried not to think about the fact that it didn´t disturb him as much as it should.

Planning Sunday's dinner on the fly while shopping, Roy found that every single dessert that came to mind at the moment included cream, and he was very grateful that the way he wore his trousers was uncomfortable enough to prevent anything more than a slight twitch of his dick at the thought. It was enough of a concern that the Colonel was tempted to cancel tomorrow's meeting with Fullmetal altogether, but that would deprive Roy of his victory. He had managed to get Ed to admit that he liked his cooking. Not cooking would spoil everything and put Roy into a strategically weak position after forcing Ed's admission. The Flame Alchemist's research would suffer as well. Looking through Edward's notes confirmed that collaborating with the prodigy would lead Roy's research in exciting new directions. The Colonel didn´t want to miss that opportunity, particularly not after neglecting his alchemy for so long. He would just have to deal with it and cook. Even if the dessert contained cream.

After finally deciding on a suitable menu, Roy bought everything needed and headed home, where he stored away his groceries. His neighbor once again observed him very closely, but this time the woman didn´t comment on the full bags, or even his outfit.

* * *

The girls in charge of the check out desk at the library were overeager to help him. Unfortunately, one of the books on Edward's list had not yet been returned and most likely wouldn´t be, despite being due.

Once again cursing his big mouth, Roy had one of the girls bring him a pad of lined paper and began copying the text from the reference copy. He wouldn´t have to copy the whole book, since Ed´s notes had narrowed it down to a single chapter, and Roy decided he could manage writing out a few pages. Besides, any distraction was a welcome distraction, because any way to spend the weekend that did not include a hard dick was a bonus.

So when one of the staff girls repeatedly interrupted him to ask if he needed anything, and stressed that really, he could ask for _anything_, he brusquely suggested that she allow him to work in peace.

But he couldn´t concentrate. Having finished copying most of the text, Roy's mind wandered back to when he had sat in this same library, years ago, studying for the state alchemy exam. He had received a very similar offer back then as well, not from a staff member, but from a woman who was also studying for the state exam. Roy could no longer remember her name, but he did recall that she had been a proper bitch. She'd enjoyed screwing around, trying to cut study corners by fucking any information he might have about the exam out of him. Roy supposed that as someone already in the military, she thought he might have inside information, and Roy had done nothing to correct her assumption. She'd often tried to get Roy to talk about the research he was presenting to the examination committee as well. He really couldn't stand her as anything other than a bed partner, but he'd welcomed the opportunity for a distracting break at the time.

She'd pushed too far one day, and he'd left her in a broom closet too exhausted to ask any questions or follow him out. Hearing about that, one of Roy's rivals had joked that she most likely hadn't expected to run across an even bigger slut than herself. That young man had earned an early demonstration of the future Flame Alchemist's theories in practice. What's-her-name had disappeared after the practicals, and Roy had never seen her again. No loss there. Still, she'd had her talents. And a mighty fine ass.

He should have known better by now that distraction wasn't going to work for very long. Somehow no matter what he was doing, the Colonel's thoughts would eventually turn to sex and there was no use trying to prevent it. His mind seemed to have decided that if Roy wasn't going to give in and have actual sex, it would just have to settle for remembered sex and imagined sex. And his dick was in full agreement on the matter.

The uncomfortable way of wearing his jeans had helped Roy to delay a boner, but once his dick crossed that bridge, it was worse. And the image that popped into his mind, of that woman reverse riding his dick to give him a nice view of his hard manhood sliding in and out of her ass, was more than enough to do the job. The form fitting jeans might not sport an obvious budge, but his dick ended up pressed full length against the fly, thankfully with his underwear trapped between the two.

Taking a deep breath, Roy tried to finish copying the last page of the chapter, but leaning forward only increased the tightness of his dick's prison. He did finally manage to complete it, but was left with no distraction and a very demanding hard on. Shifting uncomfortable in his chair, Roy soon figured out that standing up would not be a good idea either.

What to do? He couldn´t just keep sitting here, not without anything else to do other than feel aroused and in need of relief.

He attempted to work on a few circles. Emphasis on attempted. All he was aware of was the heat in his lap and his twitching member in its too tight restraints. His mind didn´t think about runes, but about the variety of positions you could manage in a small broom closet, sticking on one that had the girl straddling his hips, and then _that_ image was back. The one of Ed in his lap, moving his hips against his former superior, now enhanced with the sounds of moaning and purring, compliments of yesterday's disastrous lunch date.

The jeans hadn't been such a good idea after all. Fuck, he needed to get out of them! They were actually hurting his poor general. Note to self: it was definitely a bad idea to wear tight jeans when there is a chance that your dick will suddenly become overfilled with blood of better use to the brain. And his brain definitely needed it. At least Roy could blame his next actions on the fact that his brain was denied that blood, and therefore was not operating at peak efficiency. No normal man could have thought straight in such a situation.

He felt like a damn pervert as his hands travelled down his belly and pushed the pullover up a bit. Enough to see that the general had successfully struggled through all barriers and was now sticking his head out of the tight space between the waistband and Roy's skin. And not happy to be strangled by the belt. At least that explained the agonizing trapped feeling. Cursing quietly, Roy reached for the buckle and growled when, to get the bar out off the hole, he had to pull it momentarily tighter. And then, finally, relief.

It was short lived. His erected manhood still felt hot, hard and uncomfortably tight in his pants, protesting the button next, and even the zipper. But there was no way he would open his trousers here in the library. Roy leaned forward, to start writing again. And quickly leaned backwards. Maybe it wouldn´t hurt to open the button. Just the button. Just so the cold metal would not brush against his member's head. A quick peak in all directions, and grateful for the fact that he was alone, Roy took a deep breath and opened the metal button. A low moan escaped him and he bent forward, trying desperately to control his panting and ignore how good this felt. His length was still trapped, but he refused to open the fly, even with the underwear between the zipper and his sensitive shaft.

He didn´t have to. Relieved of the hold the button and belt supplied, he could feel the zipper being forced open by the pressure his dick applied to it. He could feel it very well. Every single one of the teeth the slider slowly passed in its downward slide. Every millimeter the slider moved, step by step, sent waves of pleasure from his groin through his whole body, each one more intense and sweet than the last, and his mind went on a rampage again. He wondered if he could convince Ed to do his own version of the reverse riding. With blond hair unbound, tailing down his back. Or maybe he could fuck him against a broom closet wall like he'd done with that girl. He was sure Ed would be more flexible than she had been, managing many more erotic positions in that tiny space. Oh, and of course having Ed down on his knees would be a must. After yesterday's display, the thought of Ed sucking his dick parked itself right in there beside the lapstraddling image.

"Fuck."

Roy was not sure the nearly silent curse had gone unnoticed, but he shoved the chair back and pulled the slider of his fly down the last bit, just to bring an early end to this latest torture. Not that it helped. The waistband of his underwear took that opportunity to rub against his member's length, slowly sliding down as the general freed himself from his boundaries. Roy knew exactly what that meant. Fuck no. It was one thing to do this in the privacy of his office, but another matter completely to do it in a library.

Nonetheless, the only thing he was aware off as he once again tried to work was the waistband, traveling lower and lower. Burying his forehead in his arms, the Colonel panted. Suppressing a moan with every bit of friction the cotton provided as it slid oh so slowly down and god, it finally reached his balls, not to move again.

Now he should be able to work, right?

Wrong.

Roy couldn´t get his mind back to business. All he could think about was the pressure at the base of his hard shaft, punctuated by thoughts of Ed in every sexual position he knew – and he knew them all.

The Flame Alchemist had spent many hours in the library, and had to admit that he should have thought of one very important truth. Libraries were designed as the ultimate destination for alone time. Had always been. He wondered If Ed had ever gotten off on the thought of doing something like pleasuring himself in a public place. If he had, a library would probably be his first choice. Maybe he had even done it, perhaps in this very library.

Damn, that made for one hot image. The young blond man surrounded by tons of books, his hard member out in the open, just like Roy's own right now. Or maybe instead he would just shove his hand inside his pants to rub himself. No, he would need to get it out at some point. But Ed would not want to be caught and thrown out of the library. He'd be forced to remain silent for once. Roy could almost see him, biting his lips, cheeks flushed, his hand moving up and down to fulfill his body's desire. Picking up speed with each passing second. Desperate to come hard and fast, every moment tempting him to moan out loud. God, muscles taunt with the strain, Ed restraining himself while he pushed his body closer to the edge, all the while trying to not make a sound and get caught, until finally reaching the point where he wouldn´t care anymore about being silent . . .

Fuck it, he just needed to remove the underwear from his balls. No harm in that. But this time, he didn´t do it the way he had back in the office. Roy shoved his fingers boldly beneath the waistband, cupping his balls as he slid the cotton down. An echo of Ed in his fantasy, Roy bit his lips to keep from moaning out loud at how good it felt to touch himself. Was Ed one of those guys who neglected their balls and just went ahead to stroked his hard length, or did he experience the pleasure he could give himself by fondling the lower parts of his sex?

After cupping his balls one more time, Roy's hand moved up and wrapped around the hard flesh and he threw his head back, reminding himself again and again that he needed to be _quiet_. Just touching his dick couldn't be against the rules. He had to in order to piss or to clean himself. There was no harm in that, and no one could deny it. Just holding himself was not masturbation, and it wasn't like he was going to come from something so simple. But it felt so damn good. And he couldn't help but imagine how much better it would feel if he just moved his hand.

The heat in his lap, the arousal in his body. Finally being answered. Just once. He wouldn´t come from it, but just one stroke and he would feel better. And it wasn´t jerking off, not really. The movement was not even constant. He would need to repeat the motion to rub one out, and he wouldn't do that. As long as he didn't come, it wasn't against the rules, and he wouldn't lose the bet.

His fingers moved up and down the sensitive flesh almost on their own, only once, but the pleasure was so incredibly intense, so fucking addictive, that he was lost. He just wanted to do that again. Fuck, he must have been insane to agree to this stupid bet. He was a sexually active guy and he _needed_ it. Needed the relief. Needed to be able to do as he pleased again, and after finishing here, he would go off and fuck Ed, wherever he might be. Lab partner present or not.

The sudden loud squeal of the little cart that the library staff used to carry the books into the stacks for re-shelving was the only thing that prevented him from losing the bet right there. It shocked him back to the reality that he was in the library, _in public_, risking the presentation of his rock hard member, wrapped in his hand, to whoever decided to come around the corner. Being discovered with his hand wrapped around himself, head thrown back in ecstasy, would put a serious cramp in his future bid for Führership, no question.

Afterwards, Roy would never be sure how he hadn't just gone ahead and finished himself, or gone in search of that eager library girl to see if she was still in earnest about her offer of any kind of help. But in the heat of the moment, listening to the librarian coming closer and closer, he'd somehow found the strength to still his hand. For a moment the Colonel simply stared at the shelves, then at his dick, twitching slightly in his hand as if to encourage him to continue. He briefly considered making it quick – and in his condition quick was his only option – but then over the next metallic squeal he heard the sound of someone humming. It wasn´t the girl again, it was a man. His dick didn´t give a damn. Fuck.

Too risky. He was a well known State Alchemist and a Colonel. He couldn´t afford to be caught jerking off in the library. Roy removed his hand from his cock, disappointing the general and being rewarded with a hot wave of need and desire. The arousal burned itself through his veins right into his brain, begging him to reconsider, perhaps try to convince the approaching library guy to suck him off.

Once again, too risky.

Looking down in panic, Roy knew there was no way he could get his member into his pants again. The last time had been torture and the pants had not been nearly as tight as these. So he simply shoved his chair close to the table, once again pushing his throbbing erection beneath the wooden surface of a desk. The movement had him bend his body over the table and the research, and he wanted to sob as he carefully let go of his hardness to let it hit the wood exactly like the last time he`d done this.

But thankfully, the position hid his red cheeks and lust filled eyes behind his bangs as the librarian rounded the corner.

"Good day, Colonel Mustang."

Fuck, the man even knew him. Roy just nodded, not trusting his voice, and picked up the pen again. He didn´t look at the man, just listened as he continued to hum a popular tune, breaking the sound every time he needed to search for the right position of a book more thoroughly. And every time the hum was interrupted by silence, Roy waited for the sound of a shocked intake of breath, a surprised cry, an unsure inquiry about what he was doing with his trousers open beneath the table. He felt like a sick pervert and his blood rushed in his ears as he waited for the man to leave, praying that he would not notice the hard on hidden beneath the furniture.

The forced wait at least helped him to get past his erection's worst state, and when the librarian finally moved on, Roy was not so desperately hard anymore that he would surrender to face one year of Maes selected dates, Hawkeye's paperwork, and match making for Havoc.

He fell to working on his notes until the general finally capitulated, announcing this battle was lost. Taking a deep breath, the dark-haired alchemist stared at the papers.

It had been a very close call.

Masturbating in the library. Had he lost his mind? Sure it was one of the places a lot of guys used to jerk off, but it was also one of the places a lot of guys were caught jerking off, the panting and moaning far too noticeable in the silence of this temple of books and knowledge.

Roy should have known. While he had enjoyed himself with girls in the academy, quite a few of his fellow cadets hadn't had his talent for wooing the ladies. They had been forced to settle for spending some quality time with their own hands, and more than one had been caught masturbating in the library. But as a cadet, you were one face among many. Back then they had laughed at these poor souls while the horny culprits had scrubbed the floors as punishment. And it was done.

Now the consequences would be much worse. The Flame Alchemist jerking off in a public library. If an unfounded rumor spread by one malicious woman could reach as far a Resembool in under a week, imagine the fire he'd start being well and truly caught doing something like this. Fuck, he could already see it on the front page of the local gossip magazine, and he could not afford that.

That thought lead his mind to the alternatives his former comrades in academy had chosen. The teachers knew all the places where one could get enough alone time too well. So some of the cadets who couldn't manage to leave the grounds relied on a different refuge. The dorm rooms.

Most roommates were very understanding and let each other just do their thing while pretending to sleep. They were all in the same boat after all, and they had to look out for each other. A few were not so understanding, and ratted out their poor roommates to the night guard. Roy always thought that it had to take one hell of a bastard to enjoy making such things public.

And then there were those roommates that took their friendships one step further. That some of their comrades were fucking each other was a well known secret within the ranks, and while some only did it once or twice out of desperation, some quickly became known to prefer the company of their fellows as opposed to the opposite sex. Surprisingly, most of the cadets didn´t seem to mind, or act differently toward them. The fact that those batting for the other team had been invited to parties the same as everyone else had at some point resulted in a drunk Roy sleeping with two of them.

And to be honest, he hadn´t felt much different the first time he woke up after shagging a male, and had even felt a bit proud to see the limp that guy had sported the next day. Sticking your dick into a male ass obviously was not very different from sticking it into a female one. Or at least it he didn't think it was. He honestly hadn't remembered much about it the next day except for the usual bone deep good feeling of a man who had fucked someone's brains out. That, and Hughes looking at him like he was crazy after a man left his bed.

But for the first time since his second encounter, Roy regretted not remembering it. Of course he was familiar with the basics. He had more than once fucked a woman anally, so lube was far from being a stranger. He could even deal with dicks. He owned one, for fucks sake, he knew how to handle it. But still, experience would top theory and prepare him better.

And it was important. The way his fantasies were currently revolving around the blond alchemist, Roy knew he wasn't going to be able to shrug them off after the bet had run its course and he was free to do as he pleased. Because what he'd be pleased to do was play some of those fantasies out. It would likely take some doing however, since Ed had already made it pretty clear that he wasn't interested, but that didn't overly concern the Colonel. Roy's reputation as ladies man was well deserved, and he knew people. Getting to Edward would be a challenge, but that just made the game more interesting. Roy was a master manipulator, playing his superior officers as easily as he played his sexual conquests. Edward would be no different. So while the bet lasted, he would figure out Ed's preferences, and once this torture time was over, he would do his best to get into the younger man's pants.

**Tbc**.

* * *

Next chapter: Ed will be back ^.^


	12. Strange Arrays

**Warnings: **… u.u

**Beta**: I know I´m not only torturing Roy here XD My poor beta is probable tortured by some of my sentences as well u.u Ca11iope once again did a great job correcting them and prevented some OOCness from creeping its way into a paragraph. I love her for that ^^

**Notice: **

"Speaking"

'Thinking'

"_Letter etc."_

_Memories & Flashbacks

* * *

_

The Curse of Forever: XDDDDD Yes, that´s male thinking. Let´s say, Roy is in for a few surprises ^^

Catalog Cats: *bows* You´re very welcome ^^ I´m happy it brightened your day.

ELOSSS Alchemist: Welcome to the story :D glad, you like it. And really, I do hope you won´t be able to look at pastries the same way again. I´ll hope you laugh your ass of the next time XD

Sachiel Angel: Yeah, Roys plans are set, but of course they won´t work quite as well as he may hope they will ^^ And yes, it was really close ._. And it will become even closer XD

o-Jeff-o: Roy needs it really, really badly u.u Our dear Flame is suffering from the deprivation. Both Ed and the bet did push indeed very far, but there are still a lot of things waiting for him :D

Ah, good thing you are bringing in the crew. They are plotting evil schemes as well ^^

As for Ed noticing the way Roy things about him: You can read Roys reaction to that thought down this chapter.

Black klepton: Thank you for reviewing and welcome to the fic ^-^ Riza´s 'trial' is not so far away anymore. She has a plan for her superior as well XD

* * *

**The Bet of the Year**

**Chapter 11: Strange arrays**

Day 14

Roy had managed to maneuver himself into even bigger trouble than he already had with this stupid bet. Not only was he still facing sixteen more days without any sexual relief, now he was also making plans to seduce his former – and likely straight - subordinate. Ideally he wanted to time Edward's surrender for the exact minute that he successfully ended the bet, and preferably without the sharp minded young man figuring out that Roy had been involved in a contest based on his abstinence. The Colonel doubted he would be able to get Edward into his bed if the blond discovered that Roy's original reason for seeking his company was that the older man deemed him undesirable. And of course that was no longer the case. Far from it. But Roy seriously doubted that Edward would give him enough time to explain before he beat his former commander to death. Or worse, castrated him. The blond man had already threatened his precious goods once. Roy preferred not to tempt fate.

Sunday morning.

Groaning, the Colonel stumbled out of bed and into the shower, trying to ignore his throbbing member's protest against the cold water. His feet felt cold, his skin felt cold, hell, even his hair felt cold, but his dick felt hot. By the time he finally managed to calm his morning wood down, Roy felt like he was dangling on the edge of hypothermia. Then he'd had to suffer the embarrassment of relieving his bladder sitting down, like a woman, because he didn´t dare to touch his dick more than the bare, unavoidable minimum. The encounter in the library had been too close a call and wouldn´t leave his mind. Worse, his fantasies had again invaded his dreams, once more resulting in a very sturdy tent in his bedcovers.

He was sick of showering cold. He couldn´t stand it anymore, but he had no alternative. Not if he was going to win this bet.

During breakfast his half sleeping mind could find nothing better to do than remember fragments of that nights very erotic dream, featuring both past sexual experiences and events that had never happened, but if Roy had his way, would. He hadn´t had Ed in his bed yet. Nor in the cream roll serving café. Nor in the library, or the library's broom closet. And not in his office. Or bent over the back of his couch. Or straddling his lap, or sucking his dick, or against the wall with his legs wrapped around Roy's hips.

Fuck. It was enough to force him back into the shower, only an hour after his first cold wakeup call.

By the time the Colonel stepped out of the bathroom for the second time, the morning was pretty much shot. And it wouldn't be long before he could start cooking dinner. Just . . . five more hours. Damn. But that wasn´t so bad. He hadn't done his laundry yesterday.

A few household chores later, Roy fortunately decided to check over yesterday's notes and sort them. The moment he laid his eyes on the sheets, he was very grateful for his decision. It was immediately obvious that the general had infiltrated his mind yesterday. Adorning the margins of the notes he had drawn some rather naughty pictures. Some of which showed a striking resemblance to his future guest.

His face felt aflame as he quickly collected every one of the sheets that were filled with more than just arrays, and without further ado burned them in the fireplace. This was humiliating. He was acting like some sexually frustrated teenager, drawing perverted pictures in his notebooks during lessons.

And while he admitted that he may indeed be sexually frustrated, he was not a teenager, and he didn´t want to imagine what might have happened if Ed had come across those sketches first.

* * *

Obviously not able to wait any longer for his precious books, Ed was ringing Roy's doorbell at six o´clock sharp. Dinner was not quite ready, but Roy abandoned the stove for a few moments to let his guest in. Apologizing as he did so, Roy hurried back to the kitchen glancing behind to see if his guest was following him. And smirked widely. Apparently Roy's casual attire was making somewhat of an impression on Ed too, judging from the way golden eyes roamed over his retreating body. Interesting. Perhaps getting Edward into his bed wasn't going to be such a long shot after all.

Then he remembered Edward's uncomfortable reaction when the young man suspected that Roy was hitting on him. Hmm. Maybe Edward wasn't actually checking Roy out, but instead just taking note of his former superior's change of style. Best not to jump to conclusions. Roy had to be very sure before he decided on how to proceed. False information was a sure kill for any plan.

Moving back to the stove, Roy remembered that a mere two weeks ago he had thought of Ed as completely asexual. And so far he still hadn´t found the slightest hint that the blond had ever been in a relationship, much less a homosexual one.

"Dinner needs a few more minutes." The Colonel informed after checking the gently steaming pots and pans.

"What are you cooking?"

Curious, Edward stepped closer to take a look, but was confronted with the broad shoulders of his host as Roy stepped between him and the stove. Sidestepping again to prevent Ed from peeking into the pots from the other side brought an amused grin to Roy's lips and a pissed growl from Edward's. Both of them were very aware that the Colonel was using their obvious height difference to block Ed's view. Very entertained by his former subordinate's growing frustration, the officer anticipated a bold move by the younger alchemist to foil Roy's strategic advantage. What he didn't anticipate was the form it took.

Roy was shocked to the core as two hands placed themselves securely on either side of his hips, shoving him firmly to the left. Leaving his hands where they were, Ed leaned into Roy's right side to finally catch a glimpse of what was cooking. He grinned in satisfaction for both his victory and in approval of the traditional Cretan dish Roy was preparing.

"I guess you like to experiment." Though his choice of words didn't show it, Ed's tone definitely showed appreciation for the fact that Roy didn´t stay fixed on one culture when it came to food.

Glancing down into golden eyes, the Flame Alchemist waited a few seconds. No, Ed didn´t get it.

It took a seductive smile and a raised eyebrow for the realization to hit. Ed lowered his glance to his hands, resting on Roy's hips, directly below the waistbands of the rather low cut jeans. Staring, blinking, staring. Then the hands vanished as fast as if Roy had set them on fire. Their owner's face was certainly aflame. But the Colonel couldn´t enjoy the view for long. The other alchemist quickly turned away and announced that he would help set the table, and Roy was forced to shift his own attention back to the stove if he didn´t want to set another kind of fire, this time literally.

Still, the suppressed laugh was noticeable in his voice as he directed his guest to the plates and silverware, and the not-so-silent cursing did nothing to rein in his amusement. Neither did the fact that Ed couldn´t reach the wine glasses. It might not be productive to tease the young man this way, since his ultimate goal was to find out more about his possible sexual preferences, but it was far too entertaining to pass up. How could he let an opportunity to confront Ed with his shortcomings simply pass?

Roy had more than enough time to fulfill his plans. The evening was still young and Edward's passion for alchemy would ensure that he would see the young man again.

Once the cooking was done and Roy began to turn off the heat, his guest noticed something missing. But obviously he was not sure if it wouldn´t be rude to mention it. It took him five seconds to throw the few manners he gained overboard.

"Did you make dessert?"

Ed may have tried to keep his voice unimpressed, but he was far from mastering that art, and even his choice of words betrayed him. But the Colonel acted as if he didn´t hear the anticipation and answered in a casual voice that yes, he'd made dessert. And that was the only information the young man would get out of him.

Biting his lips, the former Fullmetal clearly saw the dead end he was heading for. Nonetheless, he asked. "What is it?" The way he peeked at the fridge, the short alchemist seemed to contemplate investigating the contents. The Colonel should have known that his silence would not discourage his stubborn guest.

It took the threat of not giving him any dessert at all before Ed finally stopped pestering him about it.

* * *

One of Roy's favorite things about Crème Brûlée was the fact that, in order to caramelize the brown sugar on top, the dessert had to be set on fire. Honestly, it was as if that particular dessert was invented with the Flame Alchemist in mind. Ed of course did his best to remain unimpressed, a quietly muttered "show off" his only comment, but the sparkle in the younger man's amber eyes told Roy that his impressive display of precision fire alchemy was appreciated.

Yes, it was over the top, but it was fun, and all part of Roy's plan to get Edward to lower his guard. There were things Roy needed to know about Ed, intimate details such as his preference in a lover's gender. Roy needed to convince the other alchemist that he was not a manipulative asshole. Even though he totally was, since the Colonel was doing his best to maneuver the blond into trusting him.

Roy knew that reaching his goal was going to take all his considerable skill as a manipulator. If there had ever been a person he considered a challenge for his charms, it was the man sitting at his dining table right now. Seeing Ed enjoying himself gave Roy was an amazing feeling, knowing that he was responsible. It was a first step in the right direction. The direction being towards eventually stripping Edward of his pants, of course.

The soft cracking noise as a spoon broke through the crystallized surface of the treat, followed by Ed's contented hum of approval, confirmed Roy's success.

"With that over inflated ego of yours, we're lucky you didn't set the whole house on fire just to make a fancy dessert," Ed noted conversationally. "You´ve got your head so far up into the clouds it's a wonder you can breathe - and don´t you dare answer to that with a short comment." The withering glare was not as impressive at it could have been, when the one glaring it was shoveling an orange version of a classic dessert into his mouth as if he hadn´t eaten for a week.

Roy already had his mouth open to fire back just such an insult, but instead he simply smirked, giving his best impressions of the innocent victim. Judging from Edward's skeptical snort, the Colonel needed more practice with that one. The blond cast one more warning glare, then turned his attention back to the rest of his Orange Crème Brûlée.

"I find that practical exercises such as this are a simple but effective way to practice my aim and timing," the Colonel defended, but while the other alchemist clearly wasn't buying that defense, for some reason he dropped the topic.

Why became clear, as a moment later he handed Roy his empty plate to shift his attention to the notes the dark-haired man had added since their last meeting.

Signing deeply at the rude behavior, the Colonel left his former subordinate alone to take care of the dishes. And when he returned to the study, he was confronted with the same problem. Namely, getting Edward to notice him. So much for diverting Ed's attention to anything besides food and alchemy.

Thankfully, a low hum announced the fact that Edward was ready for conversation again. Dear god, this was awful. The young man spent the last few minutes focused firmly on the alchemy to the exclusion of anything else. And while Roy could understand his obsession with the science, he felt more than just a little left out.

"What effect does an erect phallus have?" Ed suddenly asked.

Roy almost lost his balance on his chair. He had to be imagining things. The young man had not just asked him about the consequences of a hard dick, had he? But Ed had obviously asked _something_, as he was looking expectantly at his host, waiting for his explanation. Clearing his throat, Roy requested a repeat of the question from his guest. Something that had Ed rolling his eyes in annoyance.

"What does an erect phallus do?"

Thrust into another body? Preferably yours? Oh shit, his dick liked the idea. Before the general decided to do his best to answer Ed's question with a physical demonstration, Roy needed to answer Ed's real the question. Which Roy still wasn't sure he was hearing correctly. It still sounded like . . .

Blinking, the Colonel echoed "What does an…." but cut the rest of the sentence short. No way was he going to reveal what he had misheard to Ed. Not in the middle of alchemic research, with his gloves still in the kitchen where he had removed them to wash the dishes.

But he didn´t have to. Ed took care of that. Growling slightly, he threatened Roy with a rather nasty glare.

"A phallus. A boner. An erection. A hard dick." No, he hadn´t actually misheard him. But it still left Roy staring at the former Fullmetal until the man finally shouted out, "The thing you stick into another body when you´re aroused. Fuck, Mustang, you´re a male slut, you should know what I´m talking about." Then he grimaced. "Oh wait, little Roy doesn´t do that anymore, does he? Well, try to remember the good old days, when you were young and –"

"I know what an erect phallus is, and am well aware of its uses, Fullmetal," Roy interrupted sourly.

He knew only too well. And if Ed continued to shout out sexual phrases like that, Roy would be able to provide a perfectly splendid example. At the moment, it was just the slight heat of awakening arousal, but Roy could already feel the beginning hardness in his pants as he imagined Ed begging for a hard dick to fuck him, handcuffed to a bed and needy.

"And I told you I don´t have any problems on that front," Roy continued. "I just didn´t expect you to ask me about the birds and the bees." He knew it was too soon, but he couldn´t hold back the seductive smile and the additional teasing. "But if you insist, I can familiarize you with the concept. Well, not exactly the birds _and_ the bees, since we´re both male, but - "

"I WASN`T ASKING ABOUT THAT, YOU PERVERT!" Deep red, the younger alchemist looked as if he couldn´t decide if he should hit his former superior or flee. And damn, he could scream.

And Roy obviously couldn´t think anymore, since all he had to say to the outburst was, "Should have known you'd be a screamer."

The book hit him full force in the face and this time he did lose his balance. The pain at least was enough to kill the almost boner, but Roy needed a few moments to collect himself. When he did, he once again found Ed bent over his notes, muttering what sounded like, "can´t expect of a fucking man whore to take things seriously and make use of the few brain cells higher than one yard above ground level."

Moaning in pain, the Flame Alchemist touched his cheek, rather sure that _this_ would bruise. "What did you expect when you ask me what to do with a hard dick?" he growled at his guest, annoyed.

"That maybe you could explain why you drew one in the notes?" Was shot back at him.

Roy froze. He hadn't. Had he? He was almost afraid to look where Edward was pointing, especially since he remembered doodling in a few margins. But he was sure he'd burned all the notes containing the pornographic sketches. His mind screamed 'Deny it! Deny it!' even though he knew Ed would never believe that someone else might have maliciously drawn explicit pictures in Roy's notes. He forced his eyes to the sheet of paper Ed was holding. And blinked.

"What are you talking about?" Roy asked, confused. There were no lewd drawings to be seen.

The blond man huffed, obviously trying to hold his temper, and lifted one of the sheets to give the Colonel a better view. All the older man could see was an array. After a few moments, Ed shrugged as he finally stood, moved his chair closer to Roy, and sat down again. Growling impatiently, the short alchemist placed the offending sheet directly in front of his host and pointed at one part of the array.

"Here," Ed said, hand tracing along the inner lines of the transmutation circle. As he outlined the diagram, he named the different parts of the male anatomy those lines resembled.

Roy's eyes went wide and his mouth dry when he finally figured out that the general and his subconscious together had archived a work of pure genius. There inside the array, perfectly integrated into the design, were the various aspects of the healthy male physique that Edward was listing. As far as Roy could see, he had managed to calculate the lines correctly into the array in perfectly balance. He felt the sudden desire to slap himself, preferable on the same cheek Ed had hit, to prevent the second awakening of the general this evening. Watching Ed's hand outline the head of a good sized dick and then trace the length down to the balls, effectively stroking the image of a hard cock, Roy was tempted to pretend that he still didn't see what Ed was indicating if only to have the younger man continue. The general twitched at the thought of Ed's hand moving that way over Roy's manhood. If this continued, Roy's dick would soon match the one he had subconsciously designed into the array.

No briefcase. The desk was not between them. It took all of the Colonel's will to not shift on the chair, his half hard member uncomfortable in his trousers. A small bulge was already visible, and the last thing he needed right now was for Ed to look into his lap. He had to sit still and prevent the blond's attention from leaving the research.

Roy needed to stop this. And then it dawned on him. A way to use this to his advantage.

"I don´t see any hard dicks in the array." Lying right through his teeth, the Colonel was proud of his acting. "Are you seeing things, Fullmetal? Maybe you need to get laid." Roy pulled out his infamous smirk, the icing on the cake.

The comment hit the younger man full force, and Ed shifted away from him with a slight blush on his cheeks. "Don´t play dumb, Mustang. I know you can see it." He accused.

Roy pretended to look harder, at first trying his best to appear confused. That air was soon replaced by dawning understanding, and he looked up, a sympathetic expression on his face, to announce his conclusion.

"Really, Ed. It´s fine," Roy said, his tone that of an understanding fellow male. "I suppose it was only a matter of time for you to become aware of your sexuality. It´s only natural. Don´t worry about it. Your fantasies will likely calm down once you have your first sexual experience with -"

During Roy's speech, the blonde man had became more and more flushed with both embarrassment and anger, until he finally shouted, "I already have, you fucking Bastard! I´m not that desperate!"

Now _that_ was interesting.

"Oh?" Roy grinned and eyed his prey. His foot was in the door. Time to find out more.

**Tbc**.

* * *

;-P


	13. Can't Handle It

**Warning: **Tissue warning ._. Just to be sure.

**Co-Author & Beta**: Ca11iope. And for this chapter, she did so much work, it wouldn´t be fair to just call her beta ._. I´m really grateful for all the wrapping up, correcting and elaborating she did here. I´ve still got a long way to go in the serious-writing department u.u

All soaked tissues can be thrown in her direction ^.~

**Notice: **

"Speaking"

'Thinking'

"_Letter etc."_

_Memories & Flashbacks

* * *

_

The Curse of Forever: XD Roy really needs to get laid. Your sympathies for Ed are appreciated ^.~

Moonangel666: That´s a delight to read ^^ I´m happy you enjoyed it so much

xNeissax: Well, about the good parts… uhm… But I promise I will update soon ^^°

ixamxeverywhere: *Lol* Yes, some progress XD Nice to see you´re siding so much with Roy, he can need all the backup he can get ^^

ELOSSS Alchemist: Yes, he does. Badly :D About who ed did it with… I consider running after this chapter ^^°

Terracannon876: You´re welcome :D I´m excited you enjoy it so much. Roy´s hormones are getting desperate XD

A really big and fat thank you for pointing out the mistake ^^ you´re absolutely right on it and I change it immediately.

Taranova: I´m happy you like it ^^

Raigingstorm: It´s fine ^^ I would have loved a review, but real life comes first and I´m happy you´re still reading (and reviewing ;-P) So, please no dying XD It´s very nice to read the story brightened your week Reviews like yours are really motivating and I´ll do my best to update fast so there will at least one update a weak. Of course I try to do more ^. ~ Next chapter won´t take more than two days.

o-Jeff-o: Yes, things are finally progressing XD But let´s talk about that after the chapter is done and if I´m still not stoned to death XD

black-klepton: *lol* very fitting image ^^ But we all know Ed never had been someone to let himself become prey easily ^.~

Fnick's Witness: Oh, dear god o.O° you´re absolutely right. I made a change in the settings when my beta informed me I had to write both Bet and Year with capitals in the title. Looks like the rating switched back to default and I neglected changing it back. Thank you very much for the warning. And I´m happy you enjoy the story ^^

Inumini1: XDDD Yes, he does. But Roy is not going to simply endure everything ;-P

Sachiel Angelo: oO Long? I need to pick up the speed from the looks of it XD Or maybe skip a month or two :D Don´t worry, it will be the first ;-P I won´t say anything about the insight ^^ enjoy the reading XD

* * *

**The Bet of the Year**

**Chapter 12: Can´t Handle It**

Roy expected Edward to look uncomfortable and embarrassed. This was a rather sensitive topic after all, and the young man appeared to blush easily. But instead, Ed looked at him as if he were plain stupid.

"Of course I have, not that it's any of your business." Turning away from Roy, he was clearly not willing to say anything else.

Despite what Roy had previously thought, the former Fullmetal was acting as if sex was a natural part of a healthy life. Which it was, but somehow Roy had never guessed it to be a natural part of _Edward's_ life. It was strange for the young man to act so casually now after blushing so furiously before.

"Well, you´ve always been so wrapped up in your research..." trailing off, the Colonel decided that the subtle approach was his best bet to get more information out of Ed. Roy received an annoyed glance, but was rewarded with an answer.

"I´m a guy." Which seemed to be all the explanation Ed was willing to offer. After another few moments of staring on the part of the Colonel, the blond grudgingly elaborated. "Come on, Mustang. You said it yourself. It´s natural. Although I … uhm…." Ah, there was the blush. "I have no idea why I´m talking to _you_ about _this_."

Damn, Ed had caught himself too soon. Shrugging, the Flame Alchemist turned back to the research. If the subtle route wasn't going to yield results, there was one sure fire way that would – provoke the hell out of the kid until he snapped.

"Excuse me for being surprised," the older man started with a smirk. "Before you vanished for two years, the Brass had seriously considered imprisoning anyone who tried to hit on you on the grounds that they were displaying pedophilic tendencies." Roy could see shoulders stiffen and a back go rigid. "You were what? Sixteen? And still so short everybody was mistaking you for a child." Mustang ignored the rather vicious warning snarl and continued to chat casually. "And you obviously haven´t grown that much since then." Okay, that was a lie, but this was working. Roy could see the anger growing in his guests face as he continued to roll out one short insult after another "I'm assuming that would . . . shall we say, limit your options? I realize that women are generally smaller than the average man, but let's face it Ed. Height-wise you're well below average. I'm forced to assume that some . . . positions . . . would actually be dangerous for you to attempt, given that the weight differential alone could result in your actually being crushed by. . . "

"You asshole!" Ed roared, and though Roy was prepared for the physical attack, he was still barely able to dodge the fist. "I´m not short!"

"Yes, you are." Grinning smugly, the darkhaired man decided to use Ed's own weapons against him. "Unless you're talking about 'little Ed'. Then I wouldn´t know. But I wouldn´t mind checking." He wouldn´t mind at all.

Edward froze, eyes wide. Time for the next hit, while the younger man was still off balance. Allowing his expression to become thoughtful, the Colonel looked pointedly into Ed's lap. Soft looking leather trousers. Nice to see the alchemist still favored them from time to time. Roy regretted that he couldn´t see the backside. "Oh, or maybe that's why you won´t talk about it? Chronic equipment failure perhaps?"

Yes, this was cruel, and Roy felt like the asshole he was accused of being. This was not his style. The Colonel much preferred more original and elegant insults. But Ed's uninformative answers had forced the older man to bring out the heavy artillery. And this could backfire badly if Edward decided that he'd had enough of Roy's crap and left, because there was no conceivable way that Roy would be able to entice him back again. But Edward was no coward. He never backed down from a fight, and Roy was counting on that.

"You´re one to talk, Bastard!" Roy could actually hear the capital B. "You've got women spreading it around half of Amestris that you can't get it up! At least none of my partners ever complained!" Howling was the best adjective to describe his guest's tone of voice.

"Well, one's hand never does." Partners? As in the plural form of partner? How many? And more important, male or female? Come on, Ed. Spill it. Smirking widely, the Colonel looked down at the blond. It was a wonder the young man had only tried to hit him twice. So far.

"Just because I don´t go around bragging about it, like one notorious man-whore I know -" Ouch, from the look he received, the last bit was a reference to the host. "- doesn't mean I don´t get my fair share. I've slept with…" Ed suddenly clamped his mouth firmly shut, scowling furiously.

Damn it. He could at least have finished that damn sentence.

Close mouthed brat. This was beyond frustrating, and it was made no logical sense. One minute the young man was blushing, the next he was talking like sex was part of his daily routine, but refusing to offer details. And every time Roy thought he would finally get answers, he hit the wall full force.

The get-him-mad-enough-to-accidentally-spill-it strategy, strangely enough, had failed. Time to pull out the next card.

Roy shrugged as if the topic of conversation didn´t interest him that much. But oh, it did. And not only that, but this was turning out to be more of a challenge than Roy had anticipated. It rankled him that Ed wasn't reacting as he'd expected. Or at least he was, but was catching himself too fast for Roy's purposes. Damn brat had definitely gained some maturity. Roy turned back to the notes on the table.

"Fine, I get it. None of my business. But does Alphonse know about your promiscuous lifestyle? Hopefully he won't become an uncle before you're ready to settle down." And perhaps Al would be Roy's fall back as a source of information. That route would be difficult though. After being out of the Elric's lives for so long, Roy couldn´t just call up out of the blue to ask the younger Elric about his brother's sexual preferences.

"I´m not that easy," Ed huffed, suddenly subdued.

And sadly, he really didn´t seem to be. A shame. It would have been a lot easier to get him out of those clothes if he were. But then again it would have deprived Roy of his sport, so it was no great tragedy. Nevertheless, Ed had neither denied nor confirmed the uncle part. If he were gay, he might have let it slip right there, but the young man was doing an admirable job of dodging all Roy's attempts to get information about his former partners out of him.

Roy risked a glance at his guest. Took in his furious glare. And caught a glimpse of something else behind it. Something dark and unsettled. The Colonel slammed on his mental brakes.

There was something very wrong here. Roy could feel it. He had a sixth sense that warned him whenever something important was being hidden from him, an ability that was part of the reason why he had been able to climb the ranks so quickly, and he had learned to trust that intuition. Putting it to good use now, the Colonel looked closer. Examined the last few moments in depth. Wait. He'd mentioned . . .

The Colonel rewound his meetings with Edward since his return to Central to confirm it. And yes. Ed hadn´t said a single word about his brother. Not once, at any time. Very unusual. The two brothers had been inseparable for so long, struggling towards their goal, and against all odds had finally achieved it. After all that, it would have been perfectly reasonable to expect Edward to brag enthusiastically about his sibling in much the same way that Hughes did about Elysia.

Just to gauge the blond's reaction, Roy casually asked, "And speaking of Alphonse, how is he doing?"

And found himself surprised as Ed avoided his eyes.

"Ed?" Roy prompted, feeling somewhat uneasy. The Colonel would have heard if something terrible had happened to the younger Elric, wouldn't he?

It took a few moments before Edward offered a hesitant answer.

"We… don´t have that much contact."

_This_ was definitely something that needed further investigation, change of topic or not. The Elric brothers not staying in contact with each other was… inconceivable, a circumstance that Roy would never dream might happen. Sure, Edward had been missing for quite some time, and brothers do tend to grow apart as they grow older, but this . . . this appeared to be something more distressing. It was clearly disturbing Edward, that was for sure.

"I thought you had been living in Resembool since your return," Roy said, keeping his tone even. He was sure that was the information Maes relayed from Winry Rockbell, who had contacted them to share the good news about Edward's safe return. Naturally everyone had assumed that Ed would stay in his home town, to spend time with his little brother and celebrate their reunion.

Watching the blond now avoiding Roy's gaze was quite unsettling. Alphonse had always been Edward's weak point. In fact, that was the reason the Colonel had mentioned him, in order to keep Ed off balance as he fished for information.

He'd thrown Ed off balance all right. But in a direction Roy had not anticipated.

Ed stared at the notes, silent. What was he thinking? Would he decide to tell his former commander more, or would he simply refuse to say anything further? Obviously, there was something very wrong here, but Edward had always tended to deal with his problems on his own, keeping them to himself. Unless he forced the issue, and he had every intention of doing so, Roy guessed he would likely not receive any more information on the matter. He was wrong.

"I did stay in Resembool. For a while, anyway."

Roy hadn´t expected an answer, so the softly spoken words startled him. He looked at his guest, but his gaze was not returned. Golden eyes were still fixed on the notes in front of them. This time, Roy knew he had to wait it out and not press the matter. And after a few moments, his patience was rewarded.

"He doesn´t remember a thing."

It was stated in a neutral tone of voice, and at first Roy was tempted to shrug. He'd known that Alphonse had no memory of the time he had spent in the armor. Roy's team had found Alphonse the same day Roy had fought his battle with the former Führer. Riza had sent them to search for the Elrics and they had found ten year old Alphonse Elric, literally in the flesh, and a young woman who had been involved in something she'd known nothing about and could therefore tell them very little. Alphonse had had no idea where he was or how he had got there, and Edward was nowhere to be found.

Then it dawned on Roy that Edward had _not_ known that Al had lost the five years they'd spent on their quest. At least, not until he had returned.

"It´s a good thing." The blond said, and the way it broke out of the young man, Roy was not sure if he meant it, or if he was trying to convince himself that he meant it. Edward wasn't somehow holding Alphonse' loss of memory against him, was he? No, there was something else going on here.

Ed continued with a frown. "There were so many terrible things that happened. The first transmutation that started it all, that . . . thing we turned mom into, Al trapped in that suit of armor, not able to feel anything, or eat, or even sleep. And then all the shit that happened while we were searching for the Stone, Nina Tucker, Scar, Lior," Ed slowly shook his head. "All the people we tried to help. All the times we failed. I know you understand. Some things never leave your mind. But Al doesn't have to remember all the shit. He´s…" The blonde stumbled over the words, his hands clenching and he took a deep breath. "He´s just the way he was. Before all that happened."

Edward looked up from the notes to finally meet Roy's eyes, and the older man realized that he shouldn´t have suspected the young man of selfish feelings where Alphonse was concerned. Roy had always found Ed easy to read, but the raw emotion he saw now was almost overwhelming. Love for his brother. Relief that Al didn´t have to deal with all the cruel things they had experienced. Alphonse had a second chance, and that was something his older brother would never begrudge him.

But at the same time, Roy read much more in those eyes. None of it good.

The young man was staring at his notes again, and Roy missed the eye contact. Ed had never been someone to dump his problems at someone else´s feet, and most likely he already regretted saying as much as he had. So that was as much information Roy was going to get from his former subordinate to understand this.

'_I know you understand. Some things never leave your mind.'_ That had been addressed to Roy directly. It had to mean something. Ed wouldn´t be able to forget what happened, but Al had. There was something important about that. Those two sentences directed to _Roy_, they were the key. What were the things that never left your mind?

The Flame Alchemist let his mind wander, and the memories were instantly there, because Ed was right. They were _always_ there.

The death of his parents. Ishbal. The fight against King Bradley, watching him kill his own adopted son, watching the monster slowly melt away as he burned it again and again until nothing was left. Frank Archer, a nightmare of automail enhancements, the sound of the shot, the bullet burning into his face. The fear of losing his eye, his depth perception, hence his ability to properly aim, and with it his alchemy. Receiving the news that Edward was missing in action.

But Alphonse had been found, alive and restored. Not all memories were bad. Roy's recollections turned down a different path.

His mothers embrace. His father's proud smile. The first time he'd met his foster mother. His first girlfriend, first kiss, first time. The first array he activated that actually worked. Being accepted by his teacher as his apprentice. The day he met each member of his team. The day he finally brought them all together.

More and more events found their way into his consciousness. Some mundane, some so very important.

The day he got his driver's license. His teacher praising him. Scolding him. His decision to become a state alchemist. The day he received his watch. Maes' wedding, with Roy as his best man. The message that Hughes had been shot, and wasn't expected to live. Hearing from the doctor that Maes was going to make it. Searching for a genius alchemist and finding two: one who had lost two limbs, and one who had lost his body. Sponsoring Edward, giving him his watch and title, the only one Roy had ever been entrusted to confer.

There were so many memories, and each sparked another, and then another; a vast chain of experiences, all interconnected. These memories made him who he was.

And that was it.

"He doesn´t remember. He´s the way he was before the transmutation. And you´re not. You are a different person."

Ed didn´t react as Roy quietly voiced his conclusion, but nonetheless, Roy knew he was right. For a moment the blond just continued to stare at the papers in front of him, but the Colonel knew the young man wasn't really seeing them at all.

The slow nod he received hid Ed's eyes behind blond bangs. It was obvious he didn´t want to talk about this. And for a moment, Roy contemplated simply dropping the matter, but decided against it. Considering the way Edward was acting, this was far too important to ignore. Roy knew that there was still a piece missing from this puzzle. So he kept pressing.

"Alphonse can´t deal with it." Roy guessed. It was natural. Al wanted his brother back, had spent years searching for him, but the man who sat next to Roy was not the brother Alphonse remembered.

Heck, Ed didn´t react to some things the way _Roy_ expected him to, and he had met the alchemist after the failed human transmutation that changed his life so greatly. How different was he compared to the boy that Alphonse grew up with? From what Roy had been told, Al could remember that he and Ed wanted to try to bring their mother back. Could even remember drawing the array. But everything from the moment the array had been activated had just vanished from the young man's mind.

"It´s not his fault." Of course, no matter what, Ed would always defend his little brother.

"It´s not your fault either." Roy knew that the stubborn young man was blaming himself. And Ed´s next words proved it.

"Yes it is!"

The outburst was violent, but the young man reined himself in much too quickly. And just like that, the disturbing feeling, that something was not right, was back. It all boiled down to the white- knuckled grip Edward had on his temper. Exploding into a full on temper tantrum had always been the younger man's way of blowing off steam, to relieve the pressure of a stressful lifestyle. Somehow he had managed to learn to control himself to such an extent that even the Colonel couldn´t provoke him into ranting out everything. Roy was sure that if this continued, it wouldn´t be healthy. Restraining himself in such a way was something that was so absolutely against the blond's nature, it was only a matter of time before it would take damaging effect.

And Roy wasn't about to let that happen.

"And what exactly will you accomplish by blaming yourself?" the Colonel demanded to know.

"I'm not trying to accomplish anything! I was simply stating a fact!" the young man hissed back.

The Colonel realized he was at a distinct disadvantage in this argument, since he didn´t know the details of what had happened the day Edward vanished. He needed to inform himself. As soon as possible.

"Stating a fact," Roy said with a snort. "Since when have your personal opinions become facts?"

Mouth clamped firmly shut, Edward made no comment. The Flame Alchemist knew where this argument would eventually lead. Ed would track everything back to the initial failed transmutation. He placed the blame for that tragic mistake squarely on his own shoulders, and no one, not even Alphonse, had ever been able to argue this point with the blond alchemist. Roy had to state his position, and make it clear that he did not agree with Ed taking the blame for this too. Nonetheless, until he had further information, this particular debate would have to remain unresolved. Damn, he _hated_ being useless.

But there was another angle Roy could work on. He could find out what had happened between the brothers after Ed's return.

"Shouldn´t Al have a say in this matter?" The Colonel was sure that once informed of his brother's assertions, the younger Elric would never agree with Ed taking the blame for everything. "Unless you're going to argue that since he can't remember anything, he couldn't possibly judge who is to blame." Hmm. It all came back to the memories.

From the lack of response, it appeared that the man next to him was now trying to completely shut Roy out. Ed turned a look of utter defiance on his former commander, crossing his arms stubbornly across his chest. Very well. The guessing game would just have to continue. And Roy already had a reasonably clear idea of what was going on.

"Al wants you to tell him what he has forgotten, doesn't he. But you won't." At least in this matter, Roy was absolutely sure nothing had changed. Ed always did and always would do his best to protect his loved ones, and that included not telling them anything that would worry them. Which basically meant that Ed had told Al next to nothing.

"You're an idiot, Edward."

That earned him a nasty glare, but at least it was a reaction. And the first step towards returning Edward's behavior to normal. This monologue was getting on the older man's nerves.

It was time for the gloves to come off. Roy turned the full force of his penetrating black gaze on his former subordinate, condemnation pouring from his voice. "You come back after years of being away, then you won't talk about the time he's missing from his life, won't help him fill up that huge blank space he has in his memories. What exactly did you expect from Alphonse?" Adding to the guilt, but Ed at least deserved to feel guilty about this.

The young man dropped his gaze. "That´s none of your business either."

Ah, finally. A verbal response. Something to work with.

"It's very much my business," Roy shot back. "Who the hell do you think supported Al in his search for you? For fuck sake, Ed! Use your head!"

Blinking at the unexpected use of swear words from his former superior, the young man finally forced himself to meet Roy's eyes once more.

Roy pressed on. "Do you realize that Alphonse tracked the entire route you travelled together? He went to every single place you stopped in your search for the Stone. He talked to everyone he could about what you both had done. He even went to places that no longer exist, like Lab Five, to sift through whatever might be left, looking for anything he could find. He read over every report you ever wrote, many times over, searching for answers. He never gave up on you. He wanted to know what happened. He still does."

Fullmetal's back had gone rigid again. The younger man obviously hadn't really thought about his little brother's search for him, and what it might mean. Now he was looking at it from a whole new perspective, wondering what it would be like to have to rely on others to fill in bits and pieces of a forgotten life, forced to imagine the rest.

"I can´t tell him," Ed insisted quietly, looking reproachfully at the one forcing him to confront this new point of view. "There are so many terrible things. Things we saw. Things we did. He doesn´t have to burden himself with that."

"That should be his decision," the Colonel's insistence was just as quiet.

"No!" Ed snapped hot-blooded. "Sure, right now he wants to remember what he forgot! Until I tell him, and then he wishes I didn't. But then it´s too late and - "

"And he would have to live with it." Roy interrupted harshly and nodded as Ed stared at him incredulously. Before the young man could object again, he quickly continued. "Ed, we all have to live with the things we've done. You think Alphonse shouldn´t? You want to appoint yourself the warden of your brother's innocence, keeping things from him that are rightfully his? Fine, then don´t be surprised when he resents you for it."

Silence.

Biting his lip, the blonde stared at the table. A dead end. Again. This was tiresome. Roy sifted options through his mind, looking for a new approach. There was no way in hell that he was giving up now. This was too important.

Then he heard it. A question breathed almost silently into the space between them. Apparently Roy had gotten through to Ed after all. The situation with his younger brother must have been weighing heavily indeed on the blonde alchemist's soul, if he was willing to voice such a fear in his former commander's presence.

"Alphonse could never hate you Edward," was Roy's gentle answer. "And if he finds it difficult to accept what you have to tell him, then you can work it out together. The way you always have. The way you always should."

**Tbc**.

* * *

Yes, I know ._. This chapter is not funny, but it´s necessary. I promise the next one will have more humor again.


	14. Supporting the military

It´s really late. Now, I either skip the whole stuff up here or post tomorrow ^^° So… you know the routine.

**Beta**: Ca11iope ^^ I won´t get tired of saying thank you. Once again, great work ^^

* * *

Black-klepton: Here you are ^^ Didn´t take so long (at least I hope it was not too long XD) Rizas trial is in for today, but sadly, she doesn´t know about her Cos newly developed interest in Ed ^^° I´m happy I managed to surprise a few people :D It keeps things interesting.

Calcium FIST: Thank you ^^ I appreciate your opinion. Last chapter had me worried but it´s nice to read that it´s liked.

ELOSSS Alchemist: A lot of your praise will be send to my beta, who helped a lot in the mood and smooth topic change department ^^ I need to practice on that. But I´m happy you liked the last chapter. The idea of Al going to the places he and his brother visited came from the movie Conqueror of Shamballa.

Catalog Cats: Thank you ^^ I´m happy about the good feedback last chapter received. I appreciate every one of the reviews and am happy to see you liked it as well.

Hellocloser: Weird? Hm… maybe a bit. But in a good way XD Guess thirteen can be lucky as well ^^

I´m really happy you found this story and honored that you like it enough to comment on it. I know it´s harder to attract interest when the pairing is one of your least favorites ._. So, thank you very much for reviewing :D

Nikkie23534: O.o respect. You read through it in two hours and still have the nerve to comment XD Thank you for both the comment and the fav ^^ I´m excited you love it so much and delighted to inform you, that this story is update at least once a week. Most chapters come out sooner. I hope that´s not too long a wait XD

Moonangel666: Thank you ^^ Took some time for the depth to come out but it´s finally here and will help me get Roy and Ed closer together :D

o-Jeff-o: Yay! You just confirmed that I managed to reach a few goals I set myself ^^ I´m happy you wrote that review, it made my day XD As promised, this chapter is fun again, but now that the serious plot is here, it won´t just go away, so there will be more on the topic ^^ I as well wanted Roy to hug him u.u It would be too soon, sadly. They are not that close yet.

Sachiel Angelo: Yes, you´re right. The idea of Al losing his memory and then traveling came from the first movie ^^ I needed something for Ed and Roy to get closer together and picking up on these concepts proved to be promising.

Raigingstorm: thank you, I´m happy you liked the chapter :D I will send some of your praise to my beta, since she really deserves to receive it. I don´t know anymore what brought on the idea of not writing out Eds last question, but I thought it fitting and am happy you like it as well ^^

The Curse of Forever: Now Roy is hooked up on this XD he´s stubborn enough that Ed won´t be able to shake him off on the matter ^.~

* * *

**The Bet of the Year**

**Chapter 13: Supporting the military**

Roy finally felt comfortable about letting the subject of Ed and Al's falling out drop, and Ed appeared unbelievably relieved to do so. The matter was far from resolved. Ed had a lot to think about. But for now, it was enough.

Roy's next crisis wasn't long in coming however.

"Okay, let´s try this sucker out!" Again as enthusiastic as ever, the younger alchemist laced his fingers together, cracked his knuckles, and positioned an array towards the middle of the table, preparing it for activation.

Leaning in to look, Roy was distressed to see that it was the array he had privately nicknamed 'the Dick-array'. With an internal sigh, the Colonel realized he would be forced once again to practice one of his best and often used battle tactics: bullshit like there was no tomorrow in order to avoid a major embarrassment.

"I don´t think that one will work," he said, keeping his expression neutral. A few scenarios played through his mind. At worst, the transmutation would home in on his dick and set it on fire. Wait, no. At worst it could give him a permanent boner. No, hang on. That was the general's current predicament. Maybe the array would cause him to . . . lose his bet. Roy was pretty sure that none of these things would really result from this array's activation - if it worked at all - but without the distraction Ed's troubles had provided, the Colonel's mind had once again returned to its favorite topic: sex.

Nonetheless, Roy was still able to do some quick thinking when Ed looked at him questioningly. "That was just a juvenile experiment from when I first began to study alchemy. I must have forgotten to get rid of it." Taking the sheet into his hand, he crushed it casually. No fast movements. Panic and rushing would be a dead giveaway. "Most likely that thing won´t even activate." Hopefully.

Ed still looked skeptical. "You designed dicks into your research when you were younger?"

Not about to fall for that, the Colonel shook his head. "I didn´t. You´re still seeing things." With great accuracy, he threw the paper into the fireplace and burned the dreaded thing to ash. It was self defense. Ed might want to trace out that dick for him again.

"If that's a prime example of your early research, it´s a wonder you ever made it through the state alchemy exams." The peevish comment hinted that Ed thought he most likely had nothing but sex on his mind during that period of his life.

And while this was not completely true, it wasn´t exactly false either. Roy chose to ignore the assertion, offering no comment. Instead, he gave Ed something else to think about by handing him another one of his current arrays. Hopefully the blond would become engrossed in it before it occurred to him that the paper the Dick-array had been drawn on was not as faded as the others Roy had identified as his early research.

Moments later Edward was handing the array back, modification complete. Roy blinked in surprise, and tried not let it rankle him that it took several minutes before he could make his own changes and shove it back in turn.

As the hours passed, various arrays were passed between the two alchemists, altered, corrected, developed, sometimes discarded.

This time, it was Roy who fell asleep first.

* * *

Ed had been 'considerate' enough to place Roy's alarm clock right beside his head, along with a note stating that he was not going to haul his ex-commanding officer's 'lazy ass' up the stairs. And that he had helped himself to the remains of last night's dinner.

Roy was grateful that the young man was no longer there when Roy fell out of the chair, violently awakened by the ringing next to his ear. The Colonel was even more grateful when he had some serious trouble standing up. Not due to his stiff back, painful though it was. His back pain was nothing in comparison to his agonizing morning wood trapped in tight jeans however.

Roy dealt with it as pragmatically as possible - by stepping under the cold water with his trousers on. It took a long time for his dick to calm down enough for the Colonel to be able to undress without hurting himself.

* * *

Misgivings filled Roy's mind as he made his way to Headquarters. Today was the day that Riza had predicted Roy would lose the bet. Roy hoped that his stalwart Lieutenant had nothing underhanded planned, but knew that it was too much to expect. Having Roy forced to complete his paper work on time without complaint for a full year was too great a prize. Even Riza Hawkeye wouldn't be able to resist an attempt to bring this contest to an early conclusion. Roy steeled himself for whatever hardships he would be forced to bear as he stepped into Headquarters.

And was tempted to immediately flee the scene. Starring in disbelief, he found his greatest dream had come true.

And had unraveled into a nightmare.

Miniskirts.

Everywhere.

Tight, short, blue and revealing. Wherever he looked, there were exposed legs. In all varieties. Long. Slender. Toned. Some nicer than others, but this incredible vision of so many pairs of shapely legs bare of any cloth was simply stunning.

And the hems! Mere inches from being indecent. Traveling dangerously high whenever one of the women bent even the slightest bit. And oh, how tightly the Amestrian blue hugged those curvy hips. Headquarters was a paradise of blue clad asses, testing Roy to the limit of his endurance.

This was heaven.

The general agreed.

This was hell.

Fortunately for Roy, the other males frozen and dazzled in the main concourse seemed too distracted to notice one of their own standing in the entryway, just short of drooling, with a slight bulge in his trousers. They were all mesmerized, watching their sisters in arms work. And they were working. Damn, how they were working. Rushing through the corridors, bustling in and out of offices, the women of the Amestrian Military had turned the Headquarters into a temple of male fantasies.

Roy turned on his heel, fully intending to run out of there as fast as his hard dick would allow him, but stopped short. Directly behind him, blocking his escape, was Hawkeye, carrying a stack of paperwork. And damn, he had known it. She had really gorgeous legs. He could hardly believe he was actually seeing the real thing. The Colonel wondered if an order to wrap them around his hips would be worth the bullet wounds he would earn.

"Good morning, Colonel." The pleasant greeting almost hid the Lieutenant's satisfaction at seeing her adversary in such a state. Trying very hard to look keep his eyes on her face, he weakly returned the greeting and her smile turned predatory. He was doomed.

"I suggest that you be a gentleman and help me carry these, Sir." The slight lifting of the papers clarified her words.

Taking the files, the Colonel soon found out that it wasn't Hawkeye's intention to blow his reputation to hell. He would be able to hold the files in front of his body to hide the hard on.

Roy found himself disappointed that Riza's uniform was still strictly regulation. The only change she had made was the miniskirt instead of the military trousers. He would have enjoyed seeing her without her jacket, a look some of the other female officers had chosen. That would have offered a far better view of her breasts than the jacket did.

A lot of the female staff had apparently been hiding surprisingly well formed bodies beneath their uniforms, and Roy was obviously not the only one affected by this revelation. Many of his fellow male officers were following the women around like well trained puppies, and Roy was sure that if they'd had tails, they would have been wagging furiously. It was kind of disturbing to see actually, but at least this time the Colonel wasn't the only one suffering from recalcitrant arousal. He was just the only one who would not be able to do anything about it.

Idly, the Colonel wondered how many charges of sexual harassment would be filed today. And how many couples would be happily fucking in the restrooms, broom closets, and private offices. Wincing at the painful twitching of his cock against the cotton of his trousers, Roy also wondered if it wouldn´t be better to jump out of the window. At least then he would have a legitimate excuse to be out of here. He'd be in the hospital.

Nurses.

The general twitched its approval for this plan.

Taking a deep breath, Roy tried to calm himself. Surprisingly, Hawkeye had waited patiently for him to fight his arousal enough so that he could look at her again, though the twitching corners of her lips betrayed her amusement. Then she turned around, and dear god, her ass was even nicer than her legs. He wanted to fuck her. No question.

Some small part of his dignity celebrated the fact that it was at least a woman he wanted to screw this time. The rest of his brain did not care for much of anything beyond the swinging hips in front of him. Without even being aware of it, Roy joined the ranks of those other military dogs, following Riza's luscious curves into his office.

* * *

No one commented on his state of arousal in the office. No one even noticed it. Everyone else was nursing a hard on of their own. Havoc looked like his brain was very close to dying from blood loss. Breda was missing altogether, and considering the situation, every male at Headquarters would most likely be making frequent visits to the men's room today. And not for the usual reasons.

Fuerys deep red face was hidden behind broken radio equipment. Falman looked . . . just like Falman always did. At first glance. It took closer observation to note the slight sheen of sweat on his forehead, and the fact that he was taking longer than usual to fill out the form he was working on. Still, the man's ability to concentrate was amazing, and Roy found himself envious. On the other hand, Roy had done just as well on the first day of the bet. He wondered how the stoic Warrant Officer would stand up to two weeks of this kind of torture.

Roy barricaded himself in his office and buried his face in his arms to wallowed in his misery, his agonizing erection throbbing in his lap. He would not leave this place. No way. This office was his sanctuary.

Roy's quiet refuge held for all of half an hour. Then came a quiet knock. But it wasn't coming from the door. Confused, the Colonel lifted his head from its position. The source appeared to be the wall on his right. There it was again, a bit louder this time. A few seconds later there was another knock, but this time it didn't stop. Instead the knocking continued, settling into a steady rhythmic beat, loud enough to rattle the picture of the Fϋher Grumann Roy had hung there. The Colonel recalled that his fellow officer in the adjoining office had placed a couch similar to his own against that wall. The racket continued, the tempo increasing, the knocking getting louder. No way! Roy knew the Colonel in the next office was married.

Starring deadpanned at the wall, resigned to hearing this out, the darkhaired man listened as the speed increased, becoming frantic. The walls were rather thick, and all he could hear was the constant bangs from the couch. The furniture had to be hitting the wall rather forcefully. This was one hard and deep fuck.

Roy wanted to join them.

The Colonel next to Roy's office was a few years older than him, and quite attractive. The Flame Alchemist was also quite certain that the man was bisexual, so he might not object to Roy joining his fun.

Then the sound suddenly stopped.

Blinking, Roy looked down at his paperwork again and smirked. That had been quick.

The next knock came from the door, and the still shellshocked Colonel called his visitor in, not caring about the visible tent in his trousers. Most likely it was Hawkeye, and even if it wasn't, his first Lieutenant would probably announce however it was to give Roy time to hide his boner. Then too, if the visitor was male, he'd probably be trying to conceal an erection of his own.

But as expected, the first Lieutenant entered the office and placed new paperwork in front of her commander, ready to do her best to 'motivate' him to work. But then the rhythmic sound returned.

'They were just changing positions,' Roy's brain concluded, and an intense wave of arousal hit him, surging up from his lap, rushing up his spine and into his brain where it flooded his mind with images of the many different scenarios and positions one could manage on a couch.

Hawkeye froze and turned her face to the wall, ignoring the way her commanding officer leaned to catch a glance at her legs. Then she just shrugged and ordered him to get back to work. Was she made of ice? Did the thought of sex not affect her even the slightest bit? What was wrong with her?

"Sir." The blonde woman had to raise her voice over the banging to gain her superiors attention. Roy shook his head and looked up from her legs. She sounded rather sympathetic for once.

"Roy." Oh, good lord, she was using his first name. Did she want to engage in a little office fun as well? The tension in the Colonel's lap became almost unbearable. If only she would, Roy would happily fuck her right here over her beloved paperwork. And damn, her gaze travelled down over his body and stopped at the tent in his trousers.

"Sir, you can´t work like that."

On that, Hawkeye and the general were in perfect agreement. Both Roy and his dick looked eagerly forward to accepting any help she might offer to solve his problem. He knew she had the hots for him. The rumors were all true. No one could resist his charms for long. He was just that awesome, too much of a man to –

"I´m sure I can take care of the paperwork and any calls to give you a few uninterrupted minutes, Sir."

It took Roy a few seconds to be able to think again.

"A few _minutes_?" he growled, anger rising. "I'm sorry to inform you, my dear Lieutenant, that I don´t intend to lose this bet, and if by some slim chance I do, it won´t be for a few _minutes_."

She was willing to tempt him like this to win the bet, but was not willing to do the 'dirty' work herself? Fuck that. It was a low blow, and he would not give her the satisfaction of seeing him fail. He would not lose. Not like this.

"I must say that I'm quite shocked, Lieutenant," Roy drawled. "Your professional manner is usually exemplary. This, however, is not proper behavior befitting an officer. I suggest that you leave this office, before you further embarrass yourself. But please do keep the door open." Just so she would know that he was not attempting to touch his oh so erected and painful dick.

And he was going to stop thinking _right now_ about how good it would feel to wrap his fingers around his hard shaft and just _move_.

Biting his lips, Roy's shaking hand took hold of the pen as the woman in front of him saluted and left the room.

His hand refused to move.

The sounds coming from the office next to his continued. Roy stared at the form in front of him, but all he could see were strong, thrusting movements as a dick was shoved into another body. A couple fucking on a couch. His mind was spinning the story behind those sounds.

Sex was all he could think about and the waves of need coming from his lap became a throbbing torture, more and more intense with each knock against his wall. As the knocking picked up speed, he was reminded of all the times he had enjoyed a hard and fast screw, as his colleague was at that very moment. A parade of all the females he had driven to orgasm in just the same way trooped through his mind, marching in step with the banging against his wall.

Either the guy had incredible stamina, or Roy's subjective timesense was playing tricks on him. It seemed like hours before silence fell, finally for good, but by then the Colonel felt as if one deep breath would trigger his climax. Breathing shallowly, he wondered if it was possible to die from orgasm denial.

He hadn´t managed to sign a single document, and was rewarded with a disapproving glance by his first Lieutenant when she returned with a new stack. She set the new pile on his desk, right beside the first unfinished one.

"Please make yourself presentable, Sir."

The professional tone of her voice told Roy he had visitors. He quickly pushed his chair close to the desk and leaned forward, hoping this would be enough to hide his hard on. It had to do. He couldn´t hide his erection under the table again. Considering the way his vision had blurred as he moved to comply with his Lieutenant's request, the cotton of the trousers stretching around the bulge, he didn´t dare to let anything touch him.

The Colonel was pretty sure that as long as he kept his hands away from himself he would be fine.

He hoped.

Two young, well built women entered the office, saluting him. He didn´t hear their greeting. Not one word. Neither their names nor the reason why they were in his office. He just saw short skirts and long legs.

He understood in a dazed, unfocused way, that the two young ladies had been ordered to sort the files in his office for some reason. This was like a replay of the dirty trick that Maes had played on him, back on day four, some reoccurring nightmare that he couldn't hope to wake up from. Roy watched in horrified fascination as the women went about their assigned task, crouching, reaching, stretching, and oh god, crawling about the office gathering and sorting through the various files he had stored on book shelves and in cabinets. He was sure that if they bent down any further, he would catch a glimpse of their underwear.

Then the banging started again.

All three occupants of the office froze. And despite his own current misery, Roy had to hide an amused smirk.

Ammunition against a rival had always been something that could lift his spirits.

* * *

Unfortunately, Roy's mood had not been the only thing lifted as a result of his fellow officer's affairs. And having such beautiful ladies in his office did not help the matter.

If the miniskirt army was having the same effect on all other military males as it was on Roy and his fellow Colonel next door, it was likely very little official business was being conducted today. Then the dark haired man's mind took over, spinning a salacious fantasy of the kind of business was going on throughout headquarters at the moment. His forehead almost hit the table as he tried to convince both his heads that the military was not turning into some kind of temple dedicated to sex orgies just because of a few short skirts.

"Sir."

Hawkeyes voice was as professional as ever, as she took the few files he had managed to sign.

Looking up at his first Lieutenant, Roy snarled. It might not be obvious from her manner, but he knew she was enjoying this. Likely she already thought herself the winner of this bet.

A small part of his brain was aware that he was losing his perspective. The rest was squirming with pain from his unfulfilled desire. He needed to end this.

Forcing his eyes away from an ass that was currently at eye level, he searched for the woman's military insignia, and found it.

"Warrant Officer." At his hoarse voice, the woman stopped and offered him as questioning glaze.

"May I ask what brought on the new dress code?"

Hesitating, the blond looked to her colleague.

"There was a memo Friday morning, Sir," the other woman stated bluntly. "It ordered all females of rank lower than Major to wear skirts no longer then mid-thigh today."

Lower than Major? Damn, he would have killed to see Olivier Armstrong in a skirt.

"And you just followed the directive without question?" he asked.

"The order came straight from General Arschloch's office, Sir," the woman told him.

Arschloch. That figured. Head of the Investigations Division. Maes' superior officer. Notoriously easy to manipulate, particularly if the price was right.

The other young woman took up the explanation. "The order stated that the modified dress code was for today only, as a show of support for increased female enlistment, Sir."

Roy thought that it was more likely to result in increased male enlistment. He had no idea how his enemies had managed to spin this as a benefit to military _women_, but the idea was simply brilliant.

Someone had turned his greatest dream against him.

He reached for the phone.

A shame he had to ruin it.

* * *

It didn't take long for the consequences of Roy's phone call to be felt. It started with a few startled yelps. And then it got worse.

"Oh dear god!" The tortured cry of one poor soul, traumatized for life.

"My eyes!" Another agonized howl.

"Females of Amestris!" a familiar voice rumbled. "Your Brothers in Arms appreciate your sacrifice, and the stunning devotion you offer us! So I, Alex Louis Armstrong, will do my best to support you!"

While no one could deny that Alex was an extremely well built man, there was no way he could be considered attractive wearing nothing but a micro miniskirt. The sight of the buff, bald giant, moustache quivering with emotion, shirtless, in a skirt revealing hairy, muscular legs, definitely killed more than just Roy's boner. At least he knew beforehand what was going to happen, and could brace himself for the impact. It was by pure luck however, that he was able to escape psychological damage by not being in visual range when Armstrong bent over.

The cries coming from the outer office and hallway told him that many of his comrades had not been so lucky.

Well, he hadn't been the one who brought out the heavy weaponry to begin with. His adversaries should have expected he of all people would fight fire with fire.

Still, it was a very painful and hard earned victory.

**Tbc**.

* * *

Roy is fighting back ._. I´m just not sure he won´t be killed by his fellow male officers should they ever find out who pulled that one on them.

PS: My dear beta suggested the generals name. After laughing my ass off, I couldn´t resist and now the guy is stuck with it.


	15. Encouragement

**Beta: **Ca11iope ._. I love you, really. I´m always amazed how much better the chapters are after you worked on them XD

**Warnings**: Evil plotting ^^°

**Notice: **

"Speaking"

'Thinking'

"_Letter etc."_

_Memories & Flashbacks

* * *

_

Over a hundred reviews o.O I never expected to get that many comments when I started this fic. You guys are amazing! Thank you very much! *bows*

And I hope the miniskirt Armstrong didn't cause too many nightmares XD

Cryptic Butterfly: Once again, thank you very much for the notice. I´m happy you like the fic and hope you enjoyed the real chapter XD

Hellocloser: Oh yeah, she is. ALMOST ._. I need to work on that XD Thank you very much, I appreciate that you like the story despite the fact that this pairing does not work for you :D Thirteen has always been a lucky number for me XD My mum was born Friday the 13th and I passed my drivers license on another one of these 'unlucky' days XD I guess it depends on what you believe. If your convinced something bad will happen… It will happen ^^

ELOSSS Alchemist: If I were Roy…. Sounds like a title for a guessing game ^^ Bet there would be a few very amusing answers. Including the one with 'shooting myself' ^^ Hope you slept well despite Armstrong ^.~

AlistairArmor: *bows* Thank you so much ^^ I´m happy you obviously liked it very much :D

Catalog Cats: Thank you ._. This is Roy, so no miniskirt joke was out of question ^^° But I´m excited it was still amusing despite the overflow of miniskirt jokes in this fandom XD

Sachiel Angelo: He said "Eating. Sleeping. Fuck, even watching the damn grass grow…" Roys mind just cut off after the fuck ^^°°°

Fnick's Witness: My apologies for scarring you ^^ Both for the Armstrong part and for the Royai XD I hope you can cut Roy some slack, he´s desperate and sexual frustrated XD And I promise, there won´t be any more innuendos in the direction of pairing him with Hawkeye ^^° And I admit, I would have loved to see you dance XD

WannabeFireFox: *bow* Thank you ^-^ It was fun to torture the whole Amestrian Military in Headquarters XD I´m happy you enjoyed it as well XD

Black-klepton: Riza tried her best at winning the bet :D But it was evil, to turned Roys dream into a nightmare XD so the use of heavy weaponry was justified in Roys opinion^^ Even more so if the readers enjoy it ^^ Thanks god, Riza doesn´t know about the general being fond of Ed ;D I don´t think she would shy away from forcing Ed into a skirt ^^°

Devil05166: Sorry it scared you ^^ Now, how to come up with ideas…. My plot bunnies are well fed XD A lot of comments, some (a lot) alcohol, cookies and mad cow disease and the little beasties are cracking up and spilling ideas ^^

Natsukyi: I hope your eyes are fine and you slept well XD

o-Jeff-o: You won´t believe how excited I am I managed so many unexpected events XD I´m happy the serious part managed to make it more interesting ^^ Riza tried her best in order to fund a new sniping gear ^^ She failed though, but personally, I agree with you on hers being the best plan ^^

SoraSlayer: You´re welcome, enjoy the micro-skirt Armstrong XD I like Armstrong a lot, but… yeah, you phrased it very well and I guess most people think of him the same way ^^ I´m happy you like the story and I´ll try my best to never take longer than one week for an update.

The Curse of Forever: no, you´re not ^^ I´m still happy you review, two days after update or not xD Unfortunately, if it comes to that, the one doing the thinking is the general ^^° But Roy is trying… u.u

Twiztidchick666: I´m happy you do XD

The Prophet DaHag: I guess, Roy would quote you on that XD

WolvesAngelz: XD You didn´t have to see him, so it´s fine to laugh XD The poor soldiers didn´t have much to laugh XD I´m happy you love the story ^^

Kawaii-Chibi666: o.O Oh dear, you make me blush ^^ I´m excited you like the story so much and even take your time to comment on more parts :D Please, send a big and fat thank you to proser132 from me, I will check out prosers work soon since you seem to like it so much ^^

* * *

**The Bet of the Year**

**Chapter 14: Encouragement**

Day 16

It had been a heavy blow to the Amestrian military.

Some soldiers had been physically injured. Many had been traumatized.

A few were crushed by the embrace of brawny arms. A few more had fallen down the stairs as they either attempted to escape the devastating display, or found themselves on the stairs looking up at the miniskirted maniac. Despite the infirmary doctors' diagnoses to the contrary, some claimed their eyes had been burned out of their skulls by the sight of naked hairy legs and a scarcely covered crotch peeking out from underneath Armstrong's hem. The number of injuries to staff due to the Major's show of support far surpassed the number incurred by soldiers distracted in attempts to ogle their female comrades.

And the toll could have been much higher. But then Major General Olivier Armstrong happened on the scene.

It had been a battle of epic proportions. Armstrong against Armstrong. Generations of tradition pitted against itself in a dazzling duel of wills. The older sibling, as expected, emerged triumphant, the younger banished back to the dressing room to don more appropriate attire. And the list of soldiers up for recruitment at the Briggs Wall once again became wondrously shorter as officers suddenly recalled physical ailments that would prevent them from serving in the cold mountains, with the even colder Base Commander, to the North.

However there had been another battle that had been won that only a few knew about. Roy Mustang had successfully scored a critical victory against his crew, his best friend, and almost every dick at Headquarters.

Some of the losers of that battle could be found the next day having lunch together in the cafeteria, discussing next steps. Their topic of conversation, one Colonel Roy Mustang, had been busy the entire morning, either talking on the phone or leaving the office to pull files he claimed he needed for an investigation. When asked, he refused to state what files he required, or what he was investigating. This naturally left Roy's crew confused, perplexed, and not just a little fearful of what the Colonel might be planning as his next move in their little game. No one wanted a repeat of yesterday's events.

"Are you guys sure he really hasn't, like, done anything?" Havoc asked in disbelief. "He used to get it every day. I can't believe he's held out this long." The tall blond had put his side bet money on the second shortest amount of time, and had long since lost that wager.

"I'm positive. There's no way he could have done anything without me finding out." Hughes stated, frustration evident in his tone as he brooded over the reports he had received from the people keeping Roy under surveillance.

"You can´t be everywhere." Jean snapped, then blanched as he noticed the darkhaired man's murderous glare.

"Are you sure about that, Second Lieutenant?" Hughes asked. "Perhaps you'd like to find out first hand just how closely I can have someone watched."

Havoc quickly backed down, shaking his head. And it was really just the frustration talking. Havoc, as well as everyone else in on the bet, knew that Roy was under _very_ close observation. In public he had multiple tails. Whenever the man vanished from sight, Sue Banks was ordered to thoroughly check the locations where he'd been. The woman even went into the men's facilities to assure that nothing has been spilled.

"He´s messing with us." The blond officer growled around his cigarette.

"Uhum. Maybe he's starting to enjoy walking around with a boner like that," Breda put in, emphasizing his estimate of the aforementioned boner's size by holding up two index fingers with a hefty amount of space between them. "If I ever saw a guy who needed it badly, it´s the Chief. Judging from how hard up he is, I'd have to say that he definitely hasn't done anything." The redhead grinned at the various responses to his observation.

"What are you so amused about?" Hawkeye still mourned her lost money. She had planned to invest the win into new sniping gear, and the fact that she'd had to expend a lot of bullets to keep her admires at bay yesterday wasn't helping to improve her mood. "Your money is on the Colonel giving in today, Heymans, and today you are going to lose it." If miniskirts hadn't been enough to push the Colonel over the edge, she wasn't sure what could. The Flame Alchemist had managed to last a lot longer than any of them had expected.

"I´m not gonna lose." Leaning back, Breda laced his fingers behind his head and smirked, looking for all the world like a man who was already counting his winnings.

"What are you planning?" Kain asked, curious, but Heymans just grinned.

"The question is: what is the Colonel planning?" Groaning, Havoc buried his face in his hands. Having suffered the most from Roy's retaliation, he didn´t want to take the chance of seeing something even more brutal than Armstrong in a skirt. Hell, it was hard to even imagine what that might be, but before he'd become involved in this bet, the Second Lieutenant never thought the Colonel could be so vicious in his retribution.

"Yesterday he was in the Investigations Department," Szieska mentioned. "But I don´t know for what reason. He didn´t ask for any help." She looked disappointed at that. "I could have found the files a lot faster, but he didn´t want anybody to see what he was looking into."

"And for some reason, he´s dating Ed."Hughes threw the bomb and it took a few seconds for all the people in the room to notice what has been said. Collateral blinking was the first reaction, then Havoc howled out a stretched "whaaaaat?" while Breda's jaw dropped.

"No way!" Was the first thing Szeska had to say, and both her face and Kain Fuery's turned a deep shade of red.

"Are you sure it was a _date_?"The young technician tried to reason. "Maybe they just met accidently."

"Are we talking about Edward _Elric_?" Falman tried to clarify, honestly believing it had to be someone else.

"It was more than once, and a few times and Ed stayed overnight!" Maes stabbing his finger onto the table top for emphasis.

It took three bullets to calm the chaos.

"You said it yourself, the Colonel hasn't done anything." Riza was the first to restate the facts. When Hughes nodded, she continued. "We all know they can´t stand each other."

"So Roy goes for a companion with the least possibility of intercourse?" Maes shook his head. "I thought so as well, but that time he came back from lunch with the boner, he'd had lunch with Ed."

Disbelieving glances, then Breda threw in the first logical explanation. "Maybe the waitress was hot." That earned him approving nods from most of those present, except for Maes who still insisted that it was something was fishy.

"Oh, come on, man!" Havoc finally exploded. "The Colonel gay and sleeping with Ed? That's as crazy as… as…" he faltered for a moment, than grinned evilly and pointed at Hughes. "… as _you_ and Mustang doing the nasty!" The comment caused Hughes to choke on his own spit and the rest of the office to burst out in laugher.

A knock on the door interrupted the banter.

"Here are yesterday's stakes from the bet." Denny Brosh and Maria Ross carried in a bag bulging with cash. Quite a few people had lost their stake yesterday, but it appeared a lot more wanted in on this wager.

"Damn, that´s a lot." Breda grinned like a child having free choice in a candy shop. "And it will soon be mine." Rubbing his hands, he contemplated what he could buy with that much money.

"Where is the Colonel?" Lieutenant Ross asked, as Denny tried to pry Bread's winning strategy out of him.

"Lunch." Riza answered.

"With Ed." Hughes added.

That earned him confused looks from the newcomers and a combination of sighs, silence, and headshakes from the others.

While Hughes introduced his Roy-Ed theory to the two Lieutenants under Armstrong's command, Havoc continued to pump Breda for the details of his plan of attack. A shout interrupted Maes midsentence.

"You what?" Obviously Jean had got results. "Is that even legal?"

"Is what legal?" Szieska asked what the rest wanted to know.

"He wants to drug him!" Havoc accused and Heymans winced.

"It´s not a drug!" The redhead defended himself. "It´s just a little… encouragement for unmotivated Willys." He smirked at his own explanation.

"Encouragement?" Denny sounded shocked by the idea.

"I'm sure we can all testify to the fact that the Colonels 'Willy' is not unmotivated," Riza said dryly, earning a leer from both Breda and Havoc and an embarrassed blush from Fuery.

"Actually, such 'encouragements' are not against the law." Falman stated, no one doubting the stoic officer's statement. The man had probably been born with a rule book in his hand.

"But it won´t hurt him, will it?" Kain asked, concerned.

"Of course not! I asked the pharmacist. It´s a very small dose for guys who can´t get it up long enough to make use of it." The thought of Breda questioning anyone on the effects of an aphrodisiac had Kain and Havoc snickering.

"But for a guy whose… uhm… Willy… _can_ get up for long enough….?" The hesitant question came from a red Szieska.

"The, er, motivating effects of the encouragement would likely be even more pronounced," Hughes informed her with a chuckle. Then he sobered up and demanded a sample for his lab to check over.

"I suggest that you don't use this on the Colonel during working hours," Riza said with a considering expression. "We don´t want Roy to become a second Colonel Trottel."

That had everyone wincing. After taking care of her brother, Olivier Armstrong had stormed into Roy's office. Rumors of the 'miniskirt adoring Colonel' had reached as far north as Briggs, and the Major General suspected that Roy was responsible for 'this ridiculous farce'. So the female General had stormed into Mustangs office, fully intending to make Roy accountable for the whole mess. Fortunately for Roy, it was at the exact moment she drew her sword that the Colonel next door decided on another round of couch banging.

Being caught with his trousers down and his dick in a person he was not married to, by Olivier and Alex Armstrong of all people, was the fatal blow to Trottel's career. No one believed he would return from his trip to the hospital. At least not back to the military. His wife had left him as well.

"We can dose him at the end of the shift." Hughes proposed as he tucked the colorless liquid into his pocket. "That will give me enough time to get this stuff checked out, too."

"And then I´ll slip this baby into his drink," Breda decided. "That should give him enough time to get home before he starts to feel it. And that will take care of this bet."

* * *

Meanwhile, out to lunch and unaware of the plot being hatched against him, Roy was very happy he had managed to convince Ed to visit a different café than the one that served the perverted cream rolls. But that was not the only thing that had put him in a good mood.

He'd done it. He had outlasted all of his adversaries' predictions. The last of his enemies was defeated, and while he knew the bet was not yet over, he was very satisfied to still hold his wager. It was day sixteen. Half of the bet was done. He held no illusions about the fact that the three 'H's, namely Hughes, Havoc and Hawkeye, would try to cheat again, but they would have to find something more effective than miniskirts. And thanks to their cheating attempts, he had managed to gain a valuable ally. Alex Louis Armstrong was an honorable man, and would do his best to help him if he needed help again, although Roy hoped there would be no need to repeat yesterday's drastic action.

But right now he wasn't thinking about the bet. The alchemist sitting across from him was checking over the final draft of Roy's array, and the Colonel was curious to see if he had any more corrections to make.

"I need one of your gloves." Wondering if Ed would ever be able to request something politely, Roy nonetheless dutifully peeled a glove off.

The surprised intake of breath was all the warning he received, before his left hand was gripped and tugged over to Ed's side of the table.

"Wha-" Roy's beginning question was answered as Ed examined the faint scar on the back of the Colonel's hand, a souvenir from Roy's fight with the former Führer.

"You activated it on your skin?"

It wasn´t really a question and Roy didn´t feel obliged to state the obvious. But instead of letting go of his hand, the former Fullmetal kept a hold on it and took his own left glove off with his teeth. For some reason it felt awkward when the blond began to trace the array with his fingertips. Edward leaned in even further and warm breath brushed over Roy's skin. This shouldn´t be making him nervous. Roy knew the array worked and would stand up to any examination another alchemist could make, even a prodigy like the former Fullmetal. Nonetheless, tingling excitement bloomed in his stomach and Roy almost didn´t dare to breathe, relieved that, strangely enough, it was not arousal causing the nervousness for a change.

"You drew it with blood?"

Once again, it was more of a statement than a question, but this time the Flame Alchemist replied. He wasn´t sure how Ed figured that part out, but then recalled that the young man had used a blood seal to bind his brother's soul, and was familiar with the effects.

"Yes."Roy confirmed.

Chewing on his lower lip, the blond alchemist finally looked up to glance at his commanding officer, and Roy felt his face flush. He felt strangely naked to be the target of such a penetrating and perceptive gaze.

"I wouldn't have thought to use blood in a regular transmutation." Edward admitted. "The two times I used it were…" his voice faded out, and after a look at his companion, Ed finished the sentence. "Special occasions."

Two times? Most likely, the young man was not aware of his slip. Roy knew of only one use Ed had made of a blood-drawn array. His mind tried to pinpoint a second time Ed would have done that type of transmutation. The alchemic properties of various types of body fluids had been thoroughly documented, many from ancient times, and there were very few transmutations that specifically required the use of blood for activation. Most of those were taboo. 'Special occasions' indeed.

"The reaction was rather violent, and somewhat more difficult to control than an array drawn by more conventional means," Roy admitted, both as an answer to Edward and as a way to encourage his own train of thought. "At the time, I was rather short of options."

The Colonel contemplated the young man sitting in front of him, attention turned back to his former superior's scarred hand. Curiosity finally got the better of him.

"Ed, what happened on that day we found Al?" Roy asked quietly. Maybe the bold route would finally get him some answers.

And maybe not. The young man across the table bit his lip and seemed to be debating whether or not to answer.

"That´s… uhm…" Damn, Roy could see it coming. Another evasion. And just as predicted, Edward didn´t finish the sentence. Instead, he shook his head and began anew. "Not here." Before Roy could even suggest going somewhere else, Ed added: "And not now."

Biting back a grimace, the Colonel had to admit that they had neither the time nor a suitable location for such a sensitive discussion.

"You own me an explanation." He stated matter-of-factly.

Ed just grimaced and murmured something about a know-it-all, manipulative Bastard.

"Fine," the younger man finally relented under Roy's frank gaze. "I´ll tell you about it next time I'm over at your place. It´s not really that big a deal anyway."

Somehow, the Colonel doubted that, but at least he'd finally pried what amounted to a promise out of the stubborn alchemist. Roy made plans to call Major Armstrong before he went back to Liore and ask him to re-interview the young woman who had been found with Alphonse. Her original statement had been vague and perplexing. Roy needed more information so he could ask Ed the right questions when the time came. Original meaning was that he would cancel the assignment he sent Armstrong on. Something he could have done in the evening hours the day before.

As the silence continued, it obviously dawned on Ed that the both of them painted a rather sappy portrait of a couple holding hands, and the younger man hastily let go. For a few seconds the slightly flushed alchemist appeared almost confused, and did his best to avoid Roy's eyes. Then he turned his attention to the Flame Alchemist's glove, leaning over the table to claim the cloth as temporarily his.

While Ed took it upon himself to scrutinize the array and the cloth's structure closely, Roy was left wondering if he was reading too much into Edward's blush, and whether this strange reaction was a good or a bad sign.

* * *

With mixed feelings, Roy returned to his office. Completely oblivious to his team's covert glances, his mind was trying to analyze Edward's reactions.

Reviewing Edwards past behavior, including the few sex talks they'd had, it now dawned on the Colonel that Edward didn´t blush at the mention of sex. Ed blushed at the thought of anything that came close to, or could result in physical contact with Roy, if that physical contact was more intimate than what could reasonably be considered the norm. And while Roy would have loved to interpret this as evidence of a sappy crush on the younger alchemist's part, the chances for this were still ridiculously slim.

Entering his private office, Roy took out the files he had pulled from the archives that morning and used them to start mapping out the freelance projects Ed had been doing for the military. Not surprisingly, he discovered that the young man had done a lot of travelling. There were gaps in the timeline that Roy interpreted as either times when Ed took on projects for the private sector, or simply took time off. All in all, it appeared that the majority of the work Ed did – about eighty percent in fact – was sponsored by non-military facilities. Which left a fair sized gap in Roy's investigation, but now he had a clue about the life the young man had been leading since parting with Al.

Ed claimed he was not easy. That meant he would spend some time getting to know a person before taking him or her to his bed. Knowing how the young alchemist became absorbed in his work to the exclusion of everything else, any sort of relationship the blond became involved in would have had to be between projects.

Or while he had been away, vanished from the face of earth.

When Ed disappeared, he had not been in Amestris, that much was clear. In a foreign environment among strangers, it would have taken time to get close to someone. Especially if the blond man was working on a plan to get home.

So by Roy's estimation, that meant that Ed had perhaps one relationship while away, which fit with the young man's rather antisocial nature as well. Being generous, the Colonel counted on, at the most, two others while back in Amestris. Even factoring in a possible interlude with the Rockbell girl – and Roy dearly hoped he hadn't, since that would mean that Ed was straight - it came down to four relationships maximum.

Which was not so bad. Roy was sure he could compete with those four possible love interests easily. And let's face it, Winry –or anyone else for the matter- was no competition at all for him. Winning the upper hand should be an easy feat. Whoever his competition was, they had obviously either messed up or had no real claim on Ed, as the young man was not currently in their company but spending his time with Roy instead.

There were a couple of other clues that Edward was unattached at the moment that definitely lifted the Colonel's spirits. One: no long stopovers in any city for some moths. Two: no multiple return visits to one location where a possible lover could live. Which also meant that not-so-easy-Ed probably hadn't gotten laid for some time. Roy's mind automatically translated this to: Ed needs to get fucked.

Both Roy and the general knew just the perfect candidate for the job. Roy winced at the appreciative twitch his cock did at the notion of giving Ed what the young man needed. The thought of the blond alchemist, aroused and needy, begging him to fulfill his body's needs, invaded his mind. The young man was far too hot-blooded to simply lie on his back and let Roy do the fucking. He would writhe, moan, and wrap his legs around his lover's hips, eagerly trusting his own upwards, demanding to be touched, to be penetrated. For a moment Roy wondered if Ed was the type to throw his head back when a dick was trusted into his body. That would be an amazing sight, that elegant throat offered for sensitive skin to be licked, sucked and bitten. Roy knew the man would look gorgeous, exhausted and seriously fucked through, skin possessively marked for all to see that he was taken.

Wimpering, the Colonel facepalmed himself. He'd managed just fine up until now, not even getting hard while they'd spent lunch together, too occupied by either the research or Edwards strange behavior. But now Roy was well on his way to a hard on from thinking about how the young man would look in his bed.

But perhaps he wasn´t the only one. If Ed was thinking about Roy in the same way, it would explain why Ed had been blushing. Maybe the blond had become just as aware of his date's physical appearance as the Flame had with his former subordinate's.

Or maybe he was straight and embarrassed at the thought of intimate physical contact with another man.

Fuck, that was depressing.

A knock on the door brought him back to reality and away from calculating his chances to get into Edwards pants.

"Sir, we ordered some coffee." Surprisingly, it was Breda at the door. "Lieutenant Hawkeye is currently at the shooting range and we have one too many. If you want it, I'll leave it on my desk."

A quick glance at his watch confirmed that it was just ten minutes before quitting time. Roy decided to call it a day and quickly sorted the files he had been working on. Locking them safely in his desk drawer, Roy peeked out the door to the outer office. Breda and the rest of his staff had already left, giving the Colonel the freedom to adjust his pants so his beginning hardness would not be noticeable.

A hot coffee was just what he needed before heading for home.

* * *

They watched their commanding officer leave from the darkness of the office across the hall.

"You really think the stuff is going to work?" Havoc sounded skeptical.

"I'm guessing he might be looking to pick up a chick or two on his way home." Grinning salaciously, the redhead stepped back from the door way.

"No way, not even the Colonel can pick up a girl that fast." Once the Colonel was out of sight, the two Second Lieutenants returned to their own office, soon to be joined by the rest of the team.

"You think he'll just jerk off instead?" Breda asked, ignoring Kain's faint whimper to please change the subject. "I bet he'll do it with a chick."

As soon as the word 'bet' fell into the room, everybody's attention was ensured.

"Yeah? I bet he'll beat off first, then do a woman once he realizes the bet is over and he can start fucking around again." This from Havoc.

And it was decided. The bet book was out and the conditions were expanded. Frantic writing was only interrupted by Riza's return to the office.

"He dumped it into the Colonels Coffee." Fuery informed her, embarrassed.

"Coffee? Doesn´t caffeine amplify the effect of many meds?" Taking a look at the stunned faces of her fellow soldiers, Riza felt like she was facing a bunch of morons. Perhaps she was.

"Does it?" Havoc looked to Falman, who nodded.

"I was under the impression that as a soldier who has field training in first aid, you were familiar with that fact." Vato´s comment made everybody growl. Obviously he and Riza were the only two who were aware of this important medical detail.

But it was Kain who stated the relevant fact.

"You didn´t take that into account when you calculated the dose."

**Tbc**.

* * *

Okay, just so no one will be offended: No, I don´t hate Winry and I don´t want to insult her or any fans she may have ^^° Please consider, this is Roys POV and the guy is personalized ego walking alive ._. Well, okay, at the moment he´s walking sexual frustration XD But that doesn´t change the fact that his self-confidence still is way too big ^^°


	16. Death

**Beta**: many hugs for Ca11iope, I´m still amazed how much better the parts are when they return XD

**Notice**:

"Speaking"

'Thinking'

"_Letters, reports etc...and…" _

_Memories & Flashbacks

* * *

_

=o you guys are awesome, really. I try to make the parts longer without taking longer for the updates, I promise. One, because you guys deserve it and two, after scrolling so much, you should get something to read that´s at least twice as long XD

Lusca Luna: Thank you ^^ I´m glad you enjoy the story! I just couldn´t let Hughes die, not for this story XD I´m happy you like the way Ed is acting ._. OOCness is something I really want to avoid, so thank you for this comment ^-^

Black-klepton: o.O° no clue about the word, but I know what you mean ^^ Didn´t knew about the green tea, does that really work? XD I´m sorry for Roy, but I don´t think the Führer will be willing to start another civil war to keep Roys dick down XDDD I´m happy you like the armstrongs and the develompement between Ed and Roy ^^ I´ve been afraid the guys are taking too long u.u

ELOSSS Alchemist: XD I've been warned by my mother about the caffeine-effect. A fellow student however tried to find out if he could stay awake when he took a small dose of sleeping pills ^^° he tried to stay awake by drinking coffee… u.u Thankfully the guy was smart enough to really just take a _small_ dose.

Natsukyi: oh, the car crash oO That´s a fitting description XD Are you sure your eyes were burned? How exactly are you reading then? ^^ Lol, he won´t be able to move because he´s a mental wreck or because he´s fucking ed into the mattress? XD

xNeissax: Hopefully the wait was not too long for you? I can assure you, it´s at least a mean one XD

terracannon876: You´re welcome ^-^ Disaster is quite fitting XD About Ed… enjoy the chapter XD

Hellocloser: XD To be honest, even I consider this chapter mean ^^°

Raigingstorm: Thank you so much *bow* I´m happy you like the fic so much! … Uhm… Now I´ve got a bad conscience for the cliffhanger at the end ^^° I promise the next chapter won´t take long!

WannabeFireFox: ^-^ Oh yes, it will be a train wreak. For Roys psyche XD Among other things ^^° Nice to see you´re enjoying this so much ^^

Kawaii-Chibi666: Yes, more is already on the way XD I don´t dare to take much time for the next update ^^°

Moonangel666: Oh yes, he is XD I hope you slept well despite the Armstrong in the miniskirt ^^

o-Jeff-o: Lucky? O.o Because he will maybe come sooner? XD If he does.

A fellow student tried to neutralize the effect of mild sleeping pills with coffee and wanted to see if he could still stay awake… Well, at least he was well rested the next day XD

Of course I won´t spoiler you ^.~ But I can tell you there will be more information on Ed soon ^-^ I hope your poor, tortured heart will make it till the end of the fic XD

Catalog Cats: The effort of composing a review is appreciated ^-^ And I hope you´re feeling more fit now XD The concern for Roy's health is… justified u.u unfortunately. Sadly, it´s not only because of the drugs ^^°

Fnick's Witness: Why? Because you´re just as sadistic as I am XD I´m happy you enjoy it :D About Ed and Roy… enjoy the chapter ^.~

Sachiel Angelo: Even I feel almost bad for him this chapter ^^°

AlistairAmor: Oh my ^^ Thank you! My sadistic, evil side feels very appreciated :D

KittyWoman12: I´m happy you do ^^ next chapter is on the way, halfway done.

The Curse of Forever: Oh yes, he´s a manipulating bastard XD don´t know if the chapter is that funny, but it´s at least mean XD

Tsukasa..rule: I´m happy you like the story ^^ The next chapter is already half done, the next update won´t take long ^-^

* * *

**The Bet of the Year**

**Chapter 15: Death**

He was feeling hot. It started when he left Headquarters. The day was actually a little chilly, and in hopes of cooling down, Roy had refused to take a driver. But now he felt like he was burning up. And most of the heat was centered in his groin. He wasn't surprised.

His dick felt so fucking sensitive, even more so than usual. With each step the Colonel could feel his underwear rubbing on it. Up until now Roy had experienced some hardening in relation to chafing, strictly due to the circumstances, but this was much more than that. The general clearly enjoyed the friction, and halfway home Roy found himself almost fully erect, becoming harder with every movement.

Swearing, Roy picked up speed. And suppressed a moan before he slowed down again. Shit. He could not get a full hard on while on a public street. Embarrassed, he realized that he doing exactly that, and the thin, loose cloth of his military trousers was doing next to nothing to conceal it. A sizable bulge was already visible, and considering how his dick was hardening even more with every brush against his underwear no matter how carefully he tried to move, he would have a veritable circus tent sticking out by the time he got to the corner.

Roy took a look around at the people on the street and then back to his . . . problem. And had to correct himself. He already had a good sized tent sticking out. Reaching the horizontal, his dick was pointed straight towards the very nice ass of a woman walking in front of him. Thankfully her back was turned, so Roy quickly removed his jacked and wrapped it casually over his arm, holding it in front of his trousers. Then he attempted to walk again. Unfortunately, holding his jacket in this position applied slightly more pressure to his most sensitive area, and as Roy watched that ass in front of him move, he had a vision of himself lifting that skirt, removing whatever underwear the woman was wearing, pulling out his member and –

Roy forced his gaze away from the arousing sight. Only to have his eyes wander to a pair of breasts across the street. An appreciative twitch of his cock had him again wrenching his eyes away, to settle on the saddle of an approaching bicycle, nestled between a pair of rhythmically pumping thighs, and just above them, some lovely cleavage.

Swallowing hard, he chewed on his lower lip and forced himself to stare at the asphalt in front of him. It didn´t help. He could still feel the increasing traces of promising pleasure coming from his groin with every single step. Risking a glance, he figured he had one more street to go before reaching home. Damn, what a nice piece of … asphalt.

By the time he reached his front door, he had a full hard on. Every time he looked up, his gaze became fixed on something sexual. Wherever he looked, his eyes seemed to meet something erotic, and his dick no longer cared if it was female or male. And the more he tried to avoid it, the more he became aware of how many things could remind you of sex. Telephone poles for example. Or manholes. Fuck. Who the hell named those things anyway?

Putting his hand into the pocket of his trousers to pull out the keys, he had to close his eyes as a slight moan escaped his lips. It took him a few minutes to get his hand out of his pocket without gripping his member. Then the way the key slid into the keyhole nearly caused him to lose it right there.

Stumbling into his home, Roy let the door swing closed and his jacket fall to the floor. He had to take off his boots. Bending over, his trembling hands removed the footwear as his trousers became so very tight, stretching over his erection.

A cold shower. Now.

He was panting heavily halfway up the stairs, his hand gripped the railing. It reminded him of sex. Trying to avoid stroking the railing as he would his cock, he couldn't resist caressing it once on his way up. Hastily, with trembling legs and a rock solid cock, the Colonel made a quick detour to the bedroom. Gripping a pair of pajama pants, he finally entered the bathroom.

The pants in his hand were quickly placed on the closed lid of the laundry basket. With shaking hands Roy got rid of his shirt, desperate to get his member out of his too tight trousers. Trembling hands fumbled opened his belt and fly and yanked the trousers down along with his underwear.

Fuck. The feeling of the cloth running along his cock… for a moment he lost grip of reality, captured in the pleasurable sensation, and his legs trembled and surrendered. His arms felt like pudding and did little to stop him from falling face down on the floor. He didn´t care about his face being down however. He cared about his stomach being down, trapping his dick against the bath mat. Panting, he tried to force his arms to lift him, but they refused, and once again his cock rubbed against the soft cotton. Suppressing a moan, Roy tried to get the idea of doing that again out of his head. He would not stoop so low as to hump the floor, no matter how good the cloth felt brushing against the underside of his length.

Rug burn, rug burn, rug burn. The internal chant prevented him from thrusting against the mat, and after a few moments, he regained a little strength in his arms. Before his fragile resolve could waver, Roy once again attempted to get up, and managed to lift himself to his knees. He would not crawl on all fours to the shower. Damn it, he was a man, a Colonel, the Flame Alchemist, and he would not crawl.

Standing up as straight as his dick, he walked over to the shower. At least that´s what he would tell himself afterwards. In reality, he _did_ crawl to the shower. Panting, sweating and hard as a rock. And very grateful no one could see him in such a state.

Barely managing to get rid of his socks, he found himself at the bottom of the shower, reaching up to finally find his salvation.

Whimpering as the cold water hit his skin, he could feel his limbs becoming cold. All, except for one.

If anyone ever called him useless in the rain again, he would take off his pants and show them _this_. Maybe he should just fuck his next enemy until they surrendered. Standing proudly and not the slightest bit bothered by the cold water, the general refused to back down. And with each passing moment, Roy became more and more aware of the feelings the water caused as the drops hit sensitive flesh and travelled down his length. It felt like a caress, and instead of getting rid of his arousal, the water running down his hot member turned him on. Roy found himself remembering all the times he had jerked off or fucked in the shower and whimpered at the hot ache between his legs. He felt like crying.

He needed – _to come!- _something stronger. Something that would work for sure. Pulling himself up against the tiles, Roy turned off the water and stepped out of the shower stall. Ignoring the towels, he hastily stepped into the pants. But before he pulled the cloth over his dick, he stopped. Remembering the last time he done that in reverse, he simply held his trousers up mid-thigh. Gripping the waistband as he left the bathroom, he tried not to picture how he looked right now, holding his pants half way up, his very hard and very erect penis waving in the air, leading the way.

Silently praying that Hughes or Sue Banks would not take this moment to visit him, he made his way down the stairs. This time, instead of stroking the railing, he was tempted to straddle it, to move his hips against the wood, and if that didn´t help, slide down on his balls in hope of some relief. Banning these disturbing thoughts from his mind, Roy made his way down the stairs. On the last step, he stumbled over the leg of his pajamas, now too long since they were not pulled up properly. He ran face flat and full force into the kitchen door, and this time the pain was overwhelming the pleasure. He noticed a slight dip in the elevation of his member. Maybe he should do that again?

The thought that his rock hard dick might actually drive a hole into the wood crossed his mind. If it did, he would at least have something to slam his cock into. He could grip the edge of the door, press himself against the wood and thrust his hips forward, backwards, forwards again, and again, and - he would _not_ hump his furniture! He might be a dog of the military, but he wouldn't be reduced to a frustrated horny animal that would relieve itself with anything at hand in absence of a suitable bitch, furniture and stuffed toys included. Besides, he didn't have any stuffed toys.

Did he?

_Fuck, no! _What the hell was he thinking? He was not that desperate. He was horny and frustrated, but he was not desperate! He was not an animal. And he would never hear the end of it if Hughes showed up and caught him fucking inanimate objects.

Stumbling into the kitchen with a general that had already recovered from the impact with the door, Roy's perception had shrunk down to the most important thing: the desire, the arousal, the blatant _need_ he felt. His body moved on its own. His hands opened the freezer and took out the ice. He had to melt it, some tiny, functioning brain cell in the back of his head remembered. Ice water was more effective in conducting the cold than ice alone. But his hands trembled as he placed a bowl into the sink and let the ice cubes fall into it, turning the water on. His dick pressed against the kitchen counter and Roy threw his head back and moaned as the arousal became agonizing torture. Turning off the water, he pushed himself away from the counter. His legs became weak again, and he stumbled against the edge of the table. His hands gripped the wood preventing him from going down again.

And now he needed to wait.

Fuck waiting, he needed to _come._ Badly. His hand moved away from the wood, in the direction where he needed it the most. Made a stroking motion just inches away from touching himself. He gripped his thighs, hard, trying not to let his finger wander, but they did. Caressing the insides of his thighs, Roy stopped just short of his balls. But he was so far gone he didn´t even know why he was stopping. Not anymore.

He should let the bet fuck itself, since he couldn´t. His cock was hurting so much, he needed to relieve himself. He should have done it sooner. He should have fucked Julia. Then he wouldn't have had to deal with those damn rumors. Or that innocent little Sergeant Maes had sent to his office. Bent her over his desk. He should have put his hard member between those full lips. He should have done so in the café, replacing those damn cream rolls with his cock and let Ed suck on _that_.

There was no way Fullmetal didn´t know about the bet, judging from the way he'd eaten that damn pastry. If the little brat thought he could torture him like that, it would have served him right if Roy had given him exactly what he was asking for.

Throwing his head back and moaning, Roy imagined himself gripping that blond hair, directing the alchemist's head where he needed it. He should have thrust his hips hard and fast, slamming his dick into that vulgar mouth. Giving him all the 'fucks' Ed mentioned so frequency. Warm, wet, and so, so good. Roy closed his eyes and let his mind spin an alternative to the events in the café. An alternative where he fucked Ed right on top of that small, square table. Soiling that tacky red and white checkerboard tablecloth. Not caring that it was right in the middle of a busy café at lunchtime. Too frantic to make it back to his place.

But damn, how good the little blond had looked on his couch, sleeping. How easy it would have been to turn him on stomach, pull his trousers down. He would not have been as desperate as he was now, would have rubbed his length against the crack before he would guide his dick to the tight opening, pushing his hot and hard member slowly inside until he was buried balls deep into the blond's ass. Making Ed moan out loud in that same arousing tone he'd worshipped those fucking cream rolls with.

Lost in his fantasies, Roy wasn't aware of the movement of his hips, thrusting away from the table. There was nothing touching him but air. The movement alone felt so good as he imagined doing this with Ed beneath him. Fucking him into the cushions of the couch. Roy would show him how wrong he was when he insulted the general. He would make him moan and scream for Roy to give it to him. To give him that big, hard cock.

"Fuck." Roy gripped the table harder, as he felt himself get closer to relief. The pleasure was so intense, reality no longer in charge, he panted as his hand slid over his balls, up to his throbbing member, and when Roy opened his eyes the slightest crack, he was surprised to find himself starring at the ceiling of his kitchen.

Fuck, _no_.

Instead of letting his hand give his erection the final stroke he needed so badly to send him over the edge, he pushed himself away from the table. Shaking hands reached for the bowl in his sink. It didn´t matter anymore, whether he touched himself or not, he could feel the orgasm coming. Oh yes!

If he had taken just one second to think, he would not have done it. The moment he felt how freaking cold the water was, he would have stopped. But waiting one second longer would have been _too_ long.

With one smooth motion he poured the water over his lap.

* * *

It took Roy some time to realize that the sound he was hearing was his doorbell. He was down on his knees, sobbing and gripping the general he had just killed. He was sure of it, he had frozen his dick to death and it _hurt_.

The flesh beneath his hands no longer felt hot and hard, but cold and slack, and painful in an entirely different way from ten minutes before. Whimpering, he rubbed his hands over his member in an attempt to warm it up, reanimate it, but the motion did nothing. How could he have cursed his erection? All he desperately hoped for at the moment was to feel his dick come alive again, afraid he had made himself impotent after all.

The ringing sound was annoying, not letting him mourn the loss of his best friend, his only real friend, in peace.

"Mister Mustang!" He finally recognized the shouting as a neighbor's voice. Removing his shaking hands from the fallen general, Roy pulled his trousers all the way up before he limped to the door.

The woman in front of him looked shocked, when the door finally opened.

"Mister Mustang! Dear god, what happened to you? I could hear your scream all the way down at the end of the block!"

Should he be offended that she sounded more curious than worried? He didn´t even want to imagine how he looked, bent over, gasping for breath, likely pale as a ghost, and his trousers wet around the lap.

"Slipped in the shower." His voice was hoarse and the excuse more than lame, but she was lucky to get an answer at all. She was intruding on his mourning for the fallen general, and she could really just go fuck herself. He certainly couldn´t do it. And at the moment he was even desperate enough to do her, if he could only get it up.

But she didn´t look like she would be interested. In fact, it appeared as if she was assessing his mental state. After pouring ice water over his dick so close to orgasm, Roy seriously wondered if he might actually _be_ insane. His poor general!

"Are you… alright…." After taking another look at his state, she corrected herself. "You didn't injure yourself, didn´t you?" That look again. Yes, definitely questioning his sanity.

"I'm fine." And now fuck off. Without further ado he slammed the door shut, almost hitting her face. Leaning his back against the wood, he sank down to the floor to rest his head against his knees.

* * *

Day 17

It was entire too early to be awake. Staring up at a familiar ceiling, the Colonel was surprised to find himself in his bed. He couldn´t remember getting there. After looking around, he found a note on the bedside table.

"_Roy._

_You should never fall asleep on the floor. You could wake up with a stiff . . . neck. Since I couldn't wake you up, I had to carry you to bed. If you're going to make a habit of sleeping by the door, don't expect that kind of service too often. You need to lose some weight. Just saying. Sue confirmed that you weren't exhausted from doing anything that would cause you to lose the bet. Too bad. Who knew you could be such a stubborn bastard? I'll let Hawkeye know that you won't be in today._

_Maes."_

For the first time since the bet started, Roy longed for his daily morning wood, disappointed when there was no tent bulged out in his bedcovers. He couldn´t sleep anymore, too worried that he had made himself impotent. The hot shower wasn´t able to lift his spirits – or anything else - and if it were physical possible, he would have knelt in front of the general and begged for forgiveness. Afraid that he might never be able to gain his dick's trust again, he made his way down the stairs, all the while desperately contemplating how he might motivate the general and prove to himself that he hadn´t killed his dick and ruined his life.

He must have looked really pathetic yesterday, unconscious by the front door. Hughes had even taken care of the water puddle in kitchen. Although he was grateful for the day off, the Colonel still felt downright miserable.

Morning still hadn´t dawned, but Roy sat at the kitchen table, chewing morosely on a piece of toast. His thoughts were once again focused on one subject. His erection. Or the lack thereof.

Despite feeling like a mental wreck, he was a man who always relied on his rational mind, even when his rational mind was panicking and obsessed with one thought. He needed a hard on. He was –_desperate_- sure. The general was just wounded. Temporarily. In something like a coma. Traumatized. He was still a man, his manhood was completely intact. His dick just needed a bit of encouragement to come out of hiding.

The encouragement had to be something that was guaranteed to work however. He didn´t want to cope with a possible failure, just because he hadn't chosen the right kind of incentive. So. He could look up one of the women he knew he could rely on to help the general recover without even asking why he was visiting at three o'clock in the morning, but there was a problem with the plan. He didn´t dare to think about it, but what would happen if the general didn´t get up? The women he knew that were willing to fuck on a moment's notice were the same type as Julia. Roy sure as hell did _not_ want another set of rumors about him being impotent making the rounds. Especially not ones based on fact.

The Colonel winced. He was not impotent! And he would prove it. He needed something that would get his dick hard without the general being touched. His mind already set on a course of action, Roy rummaged through his briefcase until he finally found his notebook. Inside was the small address card Hawkeye had given him a few months ago when she passed on the invitation to the welcome back party back at Ed's apartment. Roy quickly tucked the address into the pocket of his light jacket and left the house.

* * *

The streets were almost empty this early in the morning. Which was very much appreciated right now, since Roy knew he was overreacting. Nonetheless, he couldn´t shake off the thought that the few greeting nods he received where accompanied by pitying looks, and every time someone glanced his way, he was sure they would be talking behind his back after he'd passed by. It was impossible for them to know about his dilemma, but Roy still felt like he had a mark of Cain plastered on his forehead for everybody to see, screaming that it´s owner had betrayed and –_almost_– killed his most loyal friend. A blasphemer. A useless and impotent bastard who was not able to fulfill his most basic, natural duties.

He knew it was not true, that there are in fact men who lived with such severe problems permanently – and he was not one, thank you very much – that had perfectly wonderful, fulfilling lives, but if there ever had been a way to mentally torture a man, this not knowing for sure was it.

He finally reached Ed's building, and as he made his way up the staircase, he wondered if Ed would cut off his balls for waking him up in the middle of the night. If he could convince the blond to do it after a strip tease and lap dance, and the general still didn´t react, he won´t even complain. It couldn't get any worse then. Or maybe he could appease Edward by paying for breakfast. He could invite him to the cream roll café. That would make the general sit up and take notice. It did the last time, it could do it again. It just had to do it again.

It took Ed forever to answer the door. At least it felt like it.

Cursing was the first thing that indicated Roy's success. Then the door cracked open and he was greeted with tired, golden eyes and a foul tempered young man. The moment the young alchemist realized who stood in front of his door he closed it. Although Roy was tempted to put his foot into the gap between the door and frame, his footwear was rather light and he just _knew_ Fullmetal would slam the door closed nonetheless.

Instead, he contented himself with violating the wood with his fist. After all, the former Fullmetal had never been and would never be as patient as his former commanding officer. Roy could do this for as long as it took. Still, it took half an hour and some outraged neighbor-yelling for Ed to finally tear open the door once more.

Roy didn´t even hear the, without a doubt very colorful, reprimand. He stared.

He had not expected this. It had never occurred to him that a male's legs could be alluring, but… damn. His former subordinate was not wearing any pants, just a shirt that didn´t even reach mid-tight. The Colonel was confronted with bare legs. Yes, he had known that Miss Rockbell was an extraordinary automail mechanic, and he had been more than aware of how physical fit the former Fullmetal was. But still . . .

Both legs were works of art. The flesh leg was beautifully toned, tanned skin over a strong calf and nicely shaped thigh. The steel leg was perfectly matched to its counterpart, artistic forms worked into steel to fulfill some function Roy couldn´t understand, but appreciated for their aesthetic value nonetheless. The older man couldn't tear his eyes away, finding the sight downright erotic. He could easily imagine the pressure these mismatched legs would apply, wrapped around his hips, and he wanted to touch them, trace them with bare hands, spread them wide and place himself between them, fuck the man against the wall until the building came crashing down.

Bare feet moved over the ground and the Colonel was mesmerized by the fluid movement, the shifting from one extreme to the other, as flesh and steel took their turns stepping closer to him.

Ed must have said something. Roy didn´t notice, so it was no wonder he was surprised when suddenly the younger man waved a hand in front of his eyes.

"Mustang?" He must have been awestruck far longer than he realized. Edward actually sounded worried. Roy forced his eyes to look into Ed's face and saw blond hair mostly undone from the braid that prevented it from tangling up. It looked messy. And made him want to screw the man even more.

"Okay, your acting weird." With that, his arm was grabbed and he was pulled roughly into the apartment, the door closing firmly behind him. Roy tried to catch another glimpse of the half naked man, but found himself shoved onto a couch.

"Stay here. I need some coffee." Ed told him grumpily.

What the blond really needed was a hard dick shoved up his ass. Anybody who ran around like that was just begging for it. Hmm… Ed begging. What a delightful thought.

Hold on, was the brat ordering him around?

It didn´t matter. Ed turned around and his guest´s glaze traveled over trim ankles, up the hollow of his knees, one a precision mechanism, the other smooth flesh. Further up, where the automail port met flesh and then… Shit, not a single one of the damn miniskirts at military headquarters the day before yesterday had been as short as this. The lowest part was the middle, the shirt cut higher at the sides, and it just barely covered that tightly muscled backside.

Intuitively, the Colonel leaned down to catch a glimpse of the very bottom of Ed's ass, just where the thigh met some very firm buttocks. Unfortunately the shirt still covered too much to make out whether the man was wearing anything underneath, but nevertheless, Roy thought it a tantalizing view.

And so did the general.

Roy paused as he felt the appreciative twitch in his lap and then he felt like crying out in joy. It was like the awakening of a coma-patient. Fuck, like the awakening of a _god_, and really, his dick deserved the title.

The general was alive! Hesitant, but alive.

And Roy would not disappoint him again. He had almost lost his best feature to the damn bet and he would not risk it happening for real. Fuck the bet, not even avoiding a lifetime of paperwork was worth the loss of his manhood. And he had the perfect peace offering for the general in front of him.

It took him three seconds to reach Edward in his kitchen and another one to wrap his arms around the young man's waist, pulling him close enough so he could feel this peace offering rub against his lap.

Half a second was needed to bury his nose in the young man's neck, since he had to lean down a good bit to reach it. As he did, with his arms still wrapped around his prey, he also pushed Edward forward to bend over the counter in front of him.

The other half of the second, he took in the faint scent of whatever shampoo the man used. Could hear the shocked intake of breath coming from the blond.

Another second, and he was a very happy man as the young man writhed in his arms. The movement against the awakening hard on made his dick just as happy as he was.

Five seconds later he was shaking his head, wondering why he was lying on his back, head throbbing, staring at an unfamiliar ceiling. Then Ed's ranting finally registered.

"… insane? I could have _killed_ you!" the blond looked mortified.

The Colonel had forgotten about Ed's martial arts training, and honed defensive reflexes had kicked in when he'd surprised the young man from behind. He should have warned him before groping him out of the blue; it would have saved Roy the embarrassment of being flipped over by a half naked short man. Still, it wasn't like he could just come out and tell the younger man that he needed some help getting back into the general's good graces, and could he kindly lead Roy to the bedroom please? No.

Looking at the former State Alchemist, Roy noted that his hair was even messier than a few moments ago, and the button at the very top of his shirt was now missing. Running his eyes over the rest of his former subordinate, looking for anything else he should be apologizing for, Roy suddenly saw something that managed to banish all thoughts of sex from his mind. The small, almost inconsequential object left him feeling shocked, with a hard, uncomfortable lump in his throat. All thoughts of apologies were pushed out of mind, and he couldn´t stop himself from blurting out the question that he feared he already knew the answer to.

"Ed, is that… an engagement ring?"

* * *

**Tbc**.

… uhm… I think, running might be a good idea now XD But in case you´re faster: Killing me won´t get you any more chapters ^^°

I never promised to spare the readers XD

At least, Roys resolve finally broke ^^ even if just for… uhm… six seconds? ^^°


	17. Moral Conflicts

**A/N:** I´m terribly sorry for taking so long to update._. Real life kicked me and I really wanted to make this chapter long to make up for the mean cliffhanger in the last one and as a way to show that I appreciate all the comments ^^

**Beta&Co-Author**: Thank you, Ca11iope ^-^ I absolutely believe that there is no one better for this job and I´m very grateful you take your time to do it ^^

**Notice**:

"Speaking"

'Thinking'

"_Letters, reports etc." _

_Memories, flashbacks etc.

* * *

_

Natsukyi: XD Thank you for confirming that my evil plot worked ^.~

KittyWoman12: Oh, you don´t know the temptations I had to face XD But this time I –mostly- behaved ^.~ Make a list of those curses ^^ It´s a wonderful reference for writing Edward In-chara XD

Hellocloser: I just love tormenting people ^^ I admit that ^^ And you obviously enjoy it XD

CrypticButterfly: I left you there because I´m a sadist ^^° But it was not planned to take so long to update u.u I´m sorry.

FullmetalHanyou15: o.O I get the impression you don´t like Winry much XD Can´t say much without spoilers, but I´m happy you enjoy Roy and his misery XDDDD

xNeissax: Cliffhangers help to keep up the tension XD I love them. Although I hope they won´t kill you ._. Despite how long it took to update this chapter, I will try my best to pick up the pace ^^

Annie loves it: Sorry for freaking your roommate out *offerstissues* ^^ But I´m happy you love the fic :D About the engagement… well… ^^ you get more information on time XD

SlythrinGurl: It´s really nice to read that you like it so far (and have been shocked XD I love shocking others) ^-^ And sorry for the wait.

Fnick's Witness: I can´t answer much without spoiler XDD But I think you will like this chapter and enjoy dancing ^.~ I dare to say you will get a reason to do so soon ^-^

The Curse of Forever: oO severe maiming includes blood loss… Blood loss results in dying *cough* Uhm… If that doesn´t convince you to spare me… read the chapter XD

SoraSlayer: ^-^ Can´t tell you much without spilling some secrets, you just have to wait it out *patpat*

Black-klepton: XDD Yes, male thinking. Solution to a problem: Create a worse situation, so the problem itself won´t matter anymore XDD You will get some information about the ring and engagement soon, I promise ^-^

Kuro-Kitsu: Oi ^^° Sorry for tormenting your brain XD Yes, the general is okay ^-^

Tsukasa..rule: oO that´s a rather long definition. I guess, the dictionary will offer a shorter one XD The answer to the rest of the comment can be found below the chapter title XD

AlistairAmor: The next part including Roys team is planned ^.^ So you will get the answer to that soon. I know it´s not nice to leave at such a point, but I guess I´m a terrible sadist XD

Terracannon876: Yes, but Roy is a big boy ^. ~ He knows what he does … mostly…. Uhm… sometimes… uhm…. u.u

Moonangel666: *patpat* The dark side has cookies ^^ But still, I´ve got some candies for you as well, so you will feel better ^.~ You can find them down here in the chapter.

Raigingstorm: I don´t think Roy wants to think about the "what if…" anymore xD As for the notes content: that was my dearest beta/co-author ^.^ I love her ideas ^^ They give me more ammunition XD

Cynder81: I sadly can´t give you more information about future developments, but I like your ideas ^-^ And am happy you like the torture ^.^

Proser132: o.O… I´m sorry to say I don´t accept marriage proposals before the first date XD But I appreciate the offer XD And my beta seems to be highly amused ^.^ Stalking for days is not exactly the most dependable way to inform yourself about someones love-life XD but Roy will get some real answers soon ^_^

The reasonable English is the result of lessons, a lot of fiction reading, one year in England and a wonderful beta ^-^ Without her, I never would have dared to update this fic ._.

Good luck trying to read this chapter at school XD I will try to get the chapters up faster ._. this one took really long (at least for this fic it´s long ^^° ) And if someone yells: They can continue doing so ^^ It´s not like I give a &§$% when people like you appreciate the speedy updates ^.^

XxKat-OF-ShadowsxX: XD I bet Ed won´t be the only one who will laugh his ass off if that ever happens (at least havoc and hughes will have a field day too XD)

RomiofAmestria: I won´t tell :-X But nice try ^-^ Sadly, Roy is not fucked XD At least not the way he wants it XD

Kawaii-Chibi666: Your welcome ^-^ I like your metaphor XDD

I try to update faster again. Yeees, the engagement… read the chapter XD it will give you more answers than I can without spoilers ^-^

WannabeFireFox: ._. Yes, the General is a real hero ^-^ Finally someone acknowledged it :D I can see the argument that Roy needs him, but that the General needs him… which point is more valid? XD

o-Jeff-o: Considered your comment… I think you will enjoy this chapter ^-^ At the moment there are a lot of things I want to say to you, but I can´t, since it would tell to much ^.^ But I think you will be able to guess it after this chapter ^.~

I´m glad you´re not old either XD The NDE-count for this fic is starting to freak me out xD

SilverDagger: Thank you very much for this review ^-^ I´m excited you like the fic so much ^.^

AncientHistory: o.O you still alive? I know it took some time to update, but hopefully you´re not completely death by now ^-^ Just a bit XD I´m happy you like the story ^-^

Black-ice-alchemist: o.O damn, another NDE… Uhm… you still there, hun? I´m happy I managed to make you laugh in school XD

Mackintosh-14: XD yes, about burning competition… he´s tempted, I can tell you that XD That would maybe help a bit against the frustrations XD Though, not the sexual ones ^-^

o.O You know, to say you kill me after the story is finished is not the most motivating thing to say to increase the update speed XD But I guess I have to take a risk then and hope the rest of the fic will put you in a 'no-killing'-mood XD

secret25: I´m happy you enjoyed the fic so much ^-^ It´s always a delight to read that someone loves it so much. Thank you for reading and reviewing ^.^ About the engagement-ring: There will be some answers soon, so just enjoy this chapter ^-^

inu5: I´m sorry it took so long o.O I´ll try to update faster! You can tell your mum she doesn´t have to worry ^-^ a bit of insanity is needed to stay sane XD

La Luna Negra: You´re very welcome ^-^ I´m excited you love the fic so much XDD I would have loved to see you the live version of *rofl* XD Don´t care about people thinking your insane ^-^ You could tell them that as long as they don't give you any chainsaws and get your daily dose of yaoi-fics, they don´t have to worry about you XD

* * *

**The Bet of the Year**

**Chapter 16: Moral Conflicts**

"Huh?" Instantly, Edwards hand traveled up to touch the chain around his neck, and just the fact that he was reaching for the ring was answer enough, even if Ed seemed hesitant to say it out loud.

"It is." Roy heard himself say. He felt his mood drop. Even more, when the young man confirmed his assumption with a short nod.

"Yeah," Ed said quietly.

Great, _now_ he decided to answer. Roy didn´t want to hear it as disappointment spread and his mind went numb.

'So what?' a small, desperate part of Roy's mind whispered. He'd fucked more than one person who was involved in a relationship. Sure, that was usually because he wasn't aware that his current conquest was otherwise involved, but did that really make a difference? He was sure he could convince Ed into his bed. He'd courted and charmed his way through the defenses of more sophisticated, jaded quarry, many times. So why not Ed?

The honorable elements of his mind answered. Because that wasn't his way. A very important part of the Colonel cared for his subordinates, even former ones. That was an integral part of who Roy was, one of the reasons he was held in such high esteem by his subordinates. It all came down to trust. When all was said and done, Roy Mustang was a man of honor, someone you could trust to do the right thing. Even when it was difficult. Even when it meant giving up something he wanted.

And seducing someone who was spoken for was not the right thing to do, particularly when that someone was a person who had been in his command, who trusted him.

And really, Roy should be happy the blond had found someone to make that kind of commitment with, someone who wanted him forever. The older man _would_ have been happy if it was anyone else on his team. Even Armstrong, although admittedly he would probably be afraid of a woman with the fortitude necessary to happily deal the man's histrionics.

But for Ed?

He was not.

He felt like this whole thing was a big mistake.

And the malicious little voice inside Roy's head wasn't done, either. It wasn't as if Edward was already _married_, it whispered slyly. Technically the young man was still free to chose, wasn´t he?

The rational part slammed the brakes on that train of thought immediately, piping up with a rebuttal. Would it be fair for Roy to destroy Ed's relationship, just for a bit of fun in the sack? Because that was all he wanted from the younger man. Right?

Roy needed to think.

* * *

Roy offered to take care of coffee and breakfast while Ed took a shower, even though he knew he'd regret suggesting it, since it would mean a change into less revealing clothes for his unwilling host. Still suspicious, but obviously not patient enough to deal with his former commanding officer's strange mood at half past four, the young man had snorted and left the kitchen. Roy knew his former subordinate wasn't really in need of a shower. He had just taken the opportunity Roy had given him for some much needed time to sort out his thoughts. The Colonel knew how he felt. He needed some time alone as well.

Neither the fridge nor the kitchen pantry offered much in the way of ingredients, but Roy managed to scrape together enough for blueberry pancakes. He once again gained some insight into the blond man's preferences, though he wasn't quite sure why he was still storing this information. Since milk was obviously on the dislike list, it was nowhere to be found, and the pancakes had to be made with mineral water and a dash of apple juice. The older man didn´t mind that at all. In fact Roy actually preferred this recipe at home, where milk was readily available. The blueberries had been a surprise, but Roy had noted that Ed seemed to like all kinds of berries. He had obviously enjoyed the raspberries in the tiramisu, blueberries now appeared to be another favorite, and Roy was pretty sure the young man liked strawberries as well.

While he poured some of the batter into the pan, the Colonel's mind wandered back to the problem that was foremost in his thoughts. His brain had finally settled down after the emotional rollercoaster ride it had been on since seeing that damn ring. It was time to think this through logically.

Why did Ed live alone? Why hadn´t he mentioned his lover? Why did he travel so much if he was engaged? And why was the ring not on his finger? If Ed had worn the silver band like anybody else would, on his hand, then Roy would have noticed it sooner, and likely wouldn't have acted on his attraction to the young man. Why was it hidden beneath the collar of his shirt, hanging on a silver chain?

It was possible that Ed wore the ring this way because of his Automail, but that went against tradition. Usually engagement rings were worn on the left hand, while the right hand was reserved for the wedding band. Growing up in a tight knit, rural community, where tradition was still very much honored, it was unlikely that Ed would be unaware of this convention.

Was he even engaged? And if not, why would he wear a ring? Where did it come from?

Guessing would get him nowhere. Roy had to deal with the facts as he knew them.

Ed had admitted that the ring Roy had seen was an engagement ring.

Ed was not wearing it in the traditional manner.

That left some question as to whether the young alchemist was taken or not.

Assuming the worst would mean Edward was engaged.

The best thing to do in that case, the fairest thing, was to leave Ed alone.

But the thought of just leaving things as they were when there was even the smallest bit of doubt felt all wrong. Roy wanted to know for sure. He wanted to know who Ed's partner was. He wanted to know if this person was worthy of the blond he wanted so badly. He couldn´t stand it. Life wasn´t fair. How could it be, to expect him to simply give up on something he wanted so desperately after finding it so suddenly out of reach? Could he honestly be expected to just back down and do _nothing_?

But he should.

It was the right thing to do.

He really, really should.

But he didn´t want to.

Fine, he was an asshole. He could live with that.

Roy wasn't willing to let this go, not with so many unanswered questions. He at least wanted to confirm that Ed was actually engaged. And to who. Perhaps Ed wasn't wearing the ring in plain sight because he wanted to hide his engagement. People didn't usually hide things they were proud of. They hid things to avoid trouble. If that was the case, this relationship was already on shaky ground. One good shove might be all that was needed to push Ed's romance off the rails. And wouldn't it be better for Ed to find that out now, than after he was married? Roy thought so. It might actually be in Edward's best interests if Roy made a play for him. Because really, if Ed would be willing to go for a couple of rounds of hide the salami with Roy, his relationship couldn´t be _that_ great, could it? Roy wouldn't be forcing the younger man to be unfaithful. He would leave it entirely up to Ed. Roy was sure he could offer more than some no-name fiancée that Edward hadn't mentioned once.

Once he made his decision, Roy's mind fell into a familiar pattern. He had to work out a plan. There were already several starting points, but what he needed most was information. He had to know more about his competition, and more about the relationship itself.

A frontal assault was out of question. Ed was stubborn, and always played his cards very close to his chest. If Roy asked him the personal questions he needed answers to outright, it was very likely that Ed would immediately clam up and be on the defensive, making Roy's task more difficult. He had to get the required information as carefully as possible. Then based on what he discovered, Roy had two options. If it appeared that Ed was in a stable relationship, he would back down. He would have to. As much as he didn't want to, it just wouldn't be fair to Ed not to. But if it turned out that Ed was involved in some spur of the moment, frivolous affair of no substance, Roy would consider Ed fair game. He would turn on the charm, and hopefully Ed as well.

But before he went down this road any farther, Roy had to know what effect he had on the young man. Based on this, he could find out if there was even the slightest chance for him to claim Ed as _his_.

Oh, fuck that.

Even if there was _no_ chance, he would make one. He just needed to know if he had to start from scratch.

* * *

"Okay bastard. Spill it. What the fuck has gotten into you?" Ed was back in the kitchen, still grumpy, but the shower seemed to have helped to improve the blond's mood.

Sadly, Roy had been right about the change of clothes, but he was delighted to see that Edward now wore a bathrobe. It covered more skin than the shirt, but Roy couldn´t complain. Not when the man could have changed into pants and long-sleeves. Wet hair was undone and traveling down the young man's back. Roy regretted he was not able to see how long it was. Yet.

"I told you, you owe me a few answers." Roy said mildly. It didn´t explain the midnight visit, the staring, or the embrace, but with a bit of luck, the older man would be able to deflect that line of questioning.

"And so you decided to get them at four o'clock in the morning." Edward looked skeptical.

Great. For the second time that night his sanity was being called into question. Roy didn´t feel the desire to point out that it had been half past three when he'd rung Ed's bell, but he cursed himself for his lack of a plausible answer. He should have used the time Ed had been in the shower to come up with a credible reason for his behavior, but the question of how to explain all this to Ed, without actually telling him anything at all, had been the farthest thing from Roy's mind after seeing the ring.

"At least this way I know for sure you have time to talk." He let himself sound just like the smug bastard Edward always claimed he was, and it achieved the desired effect. The younger man's face darkened with anger. Good. He needed to keep Ed off balance.

"You're a Ba - Are those pancakes?"

Good timing was also an effective weapon. Especially when food was involved. Ed's eyes were locked on the pancake-stacked plate Roy had thrust in front of him. Roy didn´t even feel obliged to answer. It was obvious.

"…I don´t have any milk."

Although Ed sounded absolutely sure about that, he didn´t seem so sure about what was in front of him. He eyed the pancakes suspiciously, even going so far as to lift the edge of one to observe the underside.

"You can make pancakes without milk."

This revelation earned Roy a disbelieving glance. The pancakes were eyed again. Then the one on top was flipped over and stared at, as if that would force the pancake to reveal it´s ingredients. Roy was getting impatient. How long was Ed going to stand there staring at a pancake? What was next, dissecting it with a fork like some strange laboratory specimen? The Colonel was beginning to feel insulted.

"It won´t attack you," he pointed out in a dry tone, and could have slapped himself the moment he noticed the quick look Ed responded with.

"But you will?" Ed's attention was back on the pancakes.

Roy kept himself from wincing. He should have seen that one coming, but that didn´t mean he had to respond. Instead he took a seat at Ed's kitchen table and helped himself to a few pancakes, ignoring the blond's suspicious scowl.

"_I _will enjoy some of these milk-free pancakes, even if you won't," he stated.

And mouth full, he wouldn´t have to answer any questions while doing so. Still, he was observed very closely as he ate the first few bites. And then – oh no, Ed _wouldn't_.

He would.

Ed clapped his hands and proceeded to analyze the pancakes alchemically.

"You don´t even have milk in the fridge," Roy reminded his former subordinate.

"You put cream in my coffee." Was that supposed to explain where the milk might have come from? Did Ed think Roy had alchemized it out of the cheese? This was ridiculous.

The man finally took a bite of the pancake. He paused, perhaps considering whether or not to spit it out. Then he swallowed, and blinked at the pancake that now was missing a piece. Proof that he had really and truly eaten some of it and survived.

"Well, I guess you aren´t _that_ useless," the blond said with a grin.

Speed-eating-Ed was back.

* * *

Eating saved Roy from having to explain 'the attack', but he considered it strange that for some reason the blond man had dropped the subject. He was sure Ed was aware of the fact that Roy would try to worm his way out of any attempts to lead the discussion in that direction. Still, it was odd for Fullmetal to let him off the hook so easily.

Unfortunately, the excuse of pretending to be too busy eating to talk worked on both sides of the table. Considering how fast the former State Alchemist was able to shove the food in his mouth, it didn´t leave much freedom to ask any questions. There was simply no time to catch the man without his mouth full.

But neither man could use that excuse for long. The pancakes, while plentiful, soon ran out.

It shouldn´t have surprised Roy that Ed took the initiative and invited him into the living room, coffee in hand. The Colonel sat down on the couch and placed his mug on the small table in front of him.

Ed stood on the other side and positioned his own mug right next to Mustang's.

"We might as well make ourselves comfortable," the young man explained. "This will take a while, and I hear old people get back aches when their lazy, fat asses are not properly cushioned while seated."

He was not old!

And certainly not fat!

Roy opened his mouth to counter the insults, but the words were wiped clear from his mind as Edward didn`t sit down in the armchair across from him. He sat down right next to his former commanding officer. Or rather, he let himself fall onto the cushions, stretching his legs out in front of him. The bathrobe slit open as he did so, and Roy's eyes dipped to admire what it revealed. A smooth, toned leg, bare to mid thigh. Gleaming automail, cloth-draped just above the knee. So close. Within easy reach. The only thing keeping the robe closed was a loose knot.

"If you stare any longer, you'll drool."

Roy forced his eyes away from the arousing sight. Away from the half bare thigh and the knotted belt that would be so easy to open.

And the moment his lust filled gaze met golden eyes, he knew was caught.

* * *

Despite Edward's reaction a few days ago, the man sitting to Roy's right didn´t look even remotely disgusted or horrified. The corners of his lips were upturned, just the slightest bit. If anything, he looked amused and self-satisfied.

This time, it was Ed who waited, smug smile widening as the seconds ticked by.

Realization hit Roy like a punch. As much as he would like to deny it, the younger man had trapped him. Ed had known the Colonel would avoid his questions, so he had chosen another way to confirm his suspicion.

Fullmetal had just manipulated him.

And Roy had run blindly - or rather gaping and staring – right into the trap.

The world was coming to an end.

* * *

Roy blamed it on the bet. He never would have stared at Ed's legs like that if it weren´t for this stupid wager. He would never even have discovered this sudden attraction to the young man, would not have acted like this without the constant denial of sex. Wouldn´t have been thinking about fucking this man whenever presented with the slightest temptation. And this, this was much more than just temptation.

This was a clear invitation.

Ed had deliberately dressed himself this way, just to tempt him. He had sat down on the couch next to Roy with the intention of giving the Colonel a nice view of the bare legs Mustang had been staring at, not an hour ago in the doorway.

Fine, the blond had gotten the desired reaction.

But if he thought he would be able to outsmart his former commanding officer, a master of manipulation, he was in for a big surprise. Shifting to the right, to give his full attention to his host, the Colonel decided to make the next move in this little game, and do a little information gathering of his own.

He could hear Ed's breath catch for a moment, see the man's gaze shift downwards, to the hand Mustang had placed on his leg, just above the automail, well aware of how sensitive the skin around such prostheses often was.

Roy smirked.

But the mischievous satisfaction the black-haired man felt upon shocking the other alchemist vanished the moment he realized that Ed was making absolutely no effort to brush his hand away. Stubborn brat that he was, he leaned back, encouraging and challenging all at once.

The Colonels smirk disappeared as quickly as a candle's flame is blown out. Instead, another fire was kindled. The State Alchemist could feel anticipation and arousal growing inside him, and once again, the familiar heat in his groin was back. He wanted to see just how far Edward would let this go. Roy kept his touch light and teasing as his fingertips slowly traced their way over scarred skin. Next to him the young man shivered when he finally reached the edge of the bathrobe. And then, fingers weren´t the only thing brushing over Ed's skin. Soft cloth was swept slowly upward, revealing more and more.

Roy could feel himself growing harder with each passing moment, as the man in front of him allowed his touch, observing the caress closely. Still, a sudden shift in direction startled the blond, the sharp intake of breath seemed almost too loud in the silence of the room. The young man's breath quickened then, almost to a pant, but he didn´t stop Roy's hand from slipping between his legs to move along the inside of his thigh and finally underneath the overlapped cloth of the bathrobe.

Roy's fingers mere inches away from his crotch, the blond suddenly moved. An automail hand placed itself on Roy's wrist and hindered his hand from traveling up any further. And Ed finally looked up, looked him in the eyes.

There was not a single trace of shock. No disgust, no hesitation. Instead Roy found a reflection of his own feelings. The same tension, the same heat and anticipation and - Fuck.

Ed was aroused. Just as turned on by this as Roy was, and the Colonel suddenly knew that his fingers were not just a few inches away from the other mans sex, but from a beginning erection. Maybe even a hard on.

He didn´t dare to look down and break eye contact with his prey, afraid it might ruin the mood. The man had stopped Roy's movement. But he had not shoved the hand away. Edward might be unsure of this, but there had been no insecurity and no guilt.

Maybe Roy was simply moving too fast.

Fullmetal was, after all, not one of Roy's casual flings. Not an easy one night stand who let you shove you hand into their underwear – if they were wearing any - before introductions had barely been made – if introductions were made at all. If he treated this man like that, it would get him nowhere. Well, it might land him on his back on the floor again, but not in a good way.

He was not used to this, but he had to slow down and take this one step at a time. He had to adjust the pace to accommodate someone unused to Roy's unconscionable, promiscuous lifestyle.

Without breaking the eye contact, he leaned in. Close enough to feel the other man's breath on his lips, but no farther. As much as his erected dick clamored to veto the decision, it would be a mistake to rush this. Roy couldn´t afford any mistakes. He already knew Ed would stop his actions if he went too far too fast, and there was no way he would get the man out of his bathrobe if he didn´t take his time now. As long as the blond simply allowed him to do what he wanted and didn´t actively participate, there was a chance that he would feel used and regret this later. If Roy didn´t manage to fuck him now, such feelings were the last thing he needed for the next attempt.

Still, Roy knew Edward was just as tempted as he was. The golden eyes were filled with lust and desire and he could literally see what little resolve he had crumble. Just a bit of encouragement would be enough for Roy to reach his goal. His right hand wandered to the man's neck, into the wet hair, and the slightest bit of pulling was enough to tilt Ed's head back and tip the scales.

Edwards's eyelids fell closed, hiding heated gold from the Colonel's view.

Warm lips brushed against his.

It didn´t last long.

But one moment later, Ed let his wrist go and wrapped his arms around Roy's neck to pull him closer and kiss him properly.

Fuck, this was _good_. And it wasn't just the thrill of victory for finally reaching first base.

No longer hindered by whatever reservations Ed had, the man's kiss was anything but shy or hesitant. Roy returned it with just as much heat and found himself struggling for control as his trousers became most uncomfortable. He wanted _more_.

And he would take more. Even if he had to move slowly.

Damn it, he hated slow when he needed it this badly. His dick hated slow. He just wanted to _fuck_ the man. But Ed didn´t trust him enough to let him do that. Not yet. So even though he wanted to push the younger man backwards into the cushions and kiss him breathless, Roy did the exact opposite and let the blond take the lead. He knew it surprised Ed; the man even paused for a moment. But then Ed obviously decided to stop thinking whatever he thought and instead take advantage of the opportunity presented and… fuck, where had he learned to kiss like _that_?

Not asexual, definitely not asexual. Demanding. A tongue brushed over Roy's lips, teeth nipped his lower lip, and there was simply no way he could deny the blond entry. The second he opened his mouth, the tongue slipped between his lips and god damn it, was this really _Fullmetal_ kissing him?

It took all his will to not embarrass himself and come in his pants. There was no way he could have suppressed the moan, and Ed's lips finally parted from his own. The next kiss was sweet, comforting.

A nice little pat to the Colonel's wounded ego.

Fuck it, without even seeing any evidence, Roy knew that the blond was getting off on this. And while he had intended to make Ed feel safe by thinking himself in control, he would not stand for this condescension. Edward definitely felt more than just a little self confident and in control. Too much so.

Once again covering the smaller mans lips with his own, Roy leaned further over the man, but instead of the anticipated battle, Edward's reaction once again was not as expected. He clearly enjoyed Roy's efforts to redeem himself and went along with it willingly.

A pliant, compliant Fullmetal was definitely something new. Some part of him was very aware that he was being played, but Roy could no longer bring himself to care. Not when the younger man was allowing Roy's tongue into his warm, welcoming mouth. Not when Roy's rational mind no longer existed. Not when the organ now doing the thinking was proclaiming that it wanted to get out of Roy's pants and into that mouth. Roy's hand finally left it´s place between Edwards's legs and the bathrobe was once again shoved aside as the Colonels hand stroked over the blond's right thigh, away from the lap to the outer side of the leg. He didn´t try to move underneath the cloth again. Instead Roy let his hand trace a line down to Edward's knee, reaching behind to the hollow.

He grabbed it as he leaned back. And just as expected, Ed didn´t let him break of the kiss. The blond smoothly followed the movement. The automail arm left Roy's neck and Ed pushed himself away from the cushions of the couch. Using his hold on the flesh knee, Roy guided the leg to the other side of his hips. The next moment, he could feel the man's weight settle astride his legs, Ed's knees pressed to Roy's sides.

He was so hard it hurt. He wanted to grab Ed's ass and move his hips closer to the painful bulge in his trousers, but he didn´t know if Edward would let himself be touched this way yet. He would kill himself if Ed stopped him again just because Roy had groped his ass too forcefully.

Instead, he wrapped his arms around the smaller man's waist and pulled the warm body closer. He buried his fingers in the soft material of the bathrobe, pulling it to one side, to slip down exposing Ed's flesh shoulder. The blond alchemist shifted further up Roy's thighs, delicious pressure so close to his aching erection.

And then Ed moved his hips.

Roy buried his face into the naked curve of the man's neck, groaning. The friction, the pressure, it was so fucking _good_. As the blond in his lap moved again, grinding his hips against the trapped, hard bulge, he could feel that Ed was just as aroused.

Mustang's hands found their way to the bathrobe's belt on their own; their owner was no longer capable of thinking. Only hot desire and lust filled his mind. He wanted to fuck, and as Ed mirrored his movements and reached for the Colonels belt as well, he knew the other alchemist wanted it just as much and would not stop him again.

Roy wanted to kiss the exposed neck, suck on the skin and lick it, bite it. But when he moved, something brushed against his cheek.

A chain. And hanging on it…

Fuck.

Part of him- the part speaking for his dick, his libido, his everything, the part that burned hot and desperate and wanted to _screw_ like there was no tomorrow and die fucking – screamed at him, begged him to ignore it. But that nasty little voice was back, that aggravating fucker named conscience, whispering to him that he shouldn´t – _couldn´t_ – ignore the silver band hanging on the chain and what it meant.

He now got a taste of what schizophrenia must feel like. Part of him, the general, insisted that yes, he _could_ ignore it. It didn´t matter. It was just a piece of metal.

But the other part of him, the Colonel, asked him if he could really screw the young man while that small but so significant bit of silver dangled on that chain, clearly visible? A reminder that maybe this man was engaged, was building a life with someone else?

'Turn him around' his libido screamed. He could fuck him doggy style, face flat against a wall, the floor, the cushions of the couch, or the bed. He could have Ed ride him reverse, it would give him a delightful view of the man's ass. There were so many positions where he would not have to look at the silver proof of betrayal.

And he would not be able to see the man's face when he fucked him into unconsciousness. He would not be able to kiss him. And he would not be able to kiss his neck, or his throat, or his collarbone. No kissing, no licking, no biting or sucking. He would not be able to ravish Ed to his delight. He would have to restrain himself, or admit the presence of that tiny bit of silver.

"What´s wrong?"

It figured. At some point Edward had to notice the hesitation. But his hoarse, aroused voice was temptation pure, and Roy wanted to hear him moan and scream. Both metal and flesh fingers buried themselves in raven hair, and the slight pain when Ed pulled on the dark strands did nothing to decrease Roy's arousal. On the contrary, the sharp twinge sent delicious sparks of hot want through his body, right to the pulsing heat in his lap. Tilting his head back he let himself be drawn into a slow and sensual kiss.

Roy's fingers dug into the knot, loosening the first interweaving, pulling on the ends of the belt, and Ed once again began to move his hips against the trapped erection, smooth movements becoming a steady rhythmic grinding. And this time, Roy's hips jerked up as well.

Suddenly, the kiss broke off and Ed, throwing his head back, moaned. A needy, seductive sound. Oh fuck, he would definitely be making that sound again. And the way Ed offered his throat, begging to be marked by love bites and hickeys…

And a thin chain of silver reflected the light.

'Fuck it, he _wants_ it! You can have him, screw him! Fuck all thoughts of his lover out of him and he will be _yours_!' His dick had a point. A very good point.

And oh, Roy could feel just how much the man wanted it. Could feel it very hard and solid pressed against him. If Edward had no regrets about this, why should he? It was the blond who would betray his partner and perhaps break his relationship, not Roy. Heck, Roy would do his best to _comfort_ Ed and help him get over it. It was Ed's choice! Ed wanted it!

But could he really lay all the blame for this at Ed's feet? Sure, Ed's nameless, faceless lover was nothing to Roy. He had made no promises to this person. Ed had. But Roy couldn't pretend that he would be innocent, blameless if he went any farther with the younger man, out of pure, unadulterated horniness. Ed's lover would not be understanding, presented with such an explanation as to why his or her boyfriend had cheated, might even try to kill Roy for taking Ed this way, and Roy didn't look forward to the prospect of burning whoever it was to a crisp in self defense. Edward could not betray his fiancée alone. Two people were needed for that.

Well, maybe more, but two was the minimum.

And the ring was still there, downright annoying. If not for that, the Colonel could have claimed that he hadn't known about a possible engagement. For the first time in his life, Roy wondered if it was possible to hate an inanimate object so completely. He wanted it gone. But even taking off this offending piece of jewelry would remind Ed of the person who gave it to him.

A person who was not here. And there had been no guilt in the blond's eyes. Ed would definitely feel guilt if he betrayed a lover, even if the relationship sucked. So there was only one possible explanation…

"Ed, are you engaged?"

Shit.

Yes, he needed to know, to hear it out loud.

But he needed to fuck as well. And he had the man here, in his lap, just one belt loop away from fulfilling his fantasies. One tiny little curl of cloth away from having Ed naked and willing and…

"What?"

This was bad. Ed had stopped moving, his voice still raw with lust, but there was this underlying … _awareness_ in that simple question. Meaning Edward's brain was engaged again. He was thinking. Thinking was bad. Roy wanted the man horny, not thinking. Moaning, not speaking any coherent words other than Roy's name, encouragements, and fine, even insults if the blond got off on talking dirty. Anything but this question, that would lead to lengthy, and possibly disappointing, explanations.

Damn, the mood was killed.

Ed shifted away slightly, looking at Roy with a puzzled expression on his face. The Colonel had successfully managed to make Edward forget about the ring, complete and absolutely. So why did he have to mention it again? Now the blond man remained straddling Roy's lap, but he wasn´t moving anymore. He just looked at Roy in astonishment.

And Roy's hard, throbbing member was clearly upset by this turn of events, pressing against its cloth cage in vain.

Finally, Ed sighed and – fuck _no_- retied the belt of his bathrobe.

It was official: Roy's dick hated its owner.

And he hated himself even more when Ed answered, "No, I´m not."

There you have it! He should have fucked first and asked stupid questions later. Yes, his conscience was proud of him, but that fucker should go shoot itself, drown itself, just go die a painful death, he was _horny_. And he had just ruined his best opportunity to slam his dick into the object of his desire.

Why did he have to ask that stupid fucking question? He could have done something much more productive with his mouth, like kiss Ed, or convince him to suck Roy's dick. He should be moaning right now, panting, and doing his best to help Ed develop a permanent limp.

Fuck, _no_. Now Ed was pulling up the collar of his bathrobe and looking anything but aroused. He looked _disappointed_, for fuck sake!

'I hate you!' the general told Roy's stupid conscience, and Roy could only agree with that statement. In this moment, he hated himself as well.

"Your timing sucks, but I guess I _do_ owe you a few explanations," Ed said with a sigh.

Oh, so _now_ he decides to do some explaining. And he had the nerve to accuse _Roy_ of poor timing. Thanks Ed, talking was _exactly_ what he needed right now.

Roy sighed, and resigned himself to his fate.

At least he would finally get some answers.

**Tbc**.

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So many nice cliffhanger-opportunities wasted ;_; But after tormenting you last chapter, I couldn´t leave the question of Ed's engagement unanswered ^-^


	18. Fuck up, suck up and promise

**A/N**: Once again, my apologies for taking even longer than the last time ._. I would tell you that I try to update faster again, but for some reason whenever I promise that, real life decides to proof me a liar. I don´t like to break promises ._. so this time, I won´t say anything and let´s see if Murphy will leave me alone in thanks for keeping my mouth shut XD (Of the record: Of course I try to update faster again ^.~)

Some people seemed to be afraid that this story will be stopped: Not gonna happen ^^ You can relax again XD I may unwillingly take more time with some chapters, but as long as Ca11iope is willing to beta for me, I´m not gonna abandon this story ^.^

**Beta&Co-Author**: Thank you, Ca11iope ^^ I hope you will get rid of that cold soon! ^-^

**Warning**: spoilers for the movie 'Conqueror of Shamballa'. I added a lot of stuff and changed some ( ._. apologies for everybody who can´t stand that ^^°) Seeing the movie before reading this chapter would help, but it´s not necessary.

**Notice**:

"Speaking"

'Thinking'

"_Letters, reports etc...and…" _

_Memories & Flashbacks_

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SlytherinGurl: Took my time again, but it was not freely XD I hope it was still worth it. At least you get some information about what happened to Ed ^^

Black-ice-alchemist: NDE is short for Near Death Experience XD I´ve got some people claiming this story is killing them, but somehow, they do comment again ;D But I´m happy they – and you- are reviewing ^.^ Thank you for that. I stopped them because it fit´s the plot ._. And because Roy does have a conscience, no matter how stamped down it is XD

La Luna Negra: I totally agree with you on the either before or after aspect XD And now I´m afraid I´m predictable, since you foresaw the not-engaged-part oO But hey, since you´re wielding a chain saw, I guess yet another kind of paranoia more doesn´t matter anymore XD About the interrupting and Ed finding out about the bet: No spoilers :-X (- I love this emoticon XD ) but considered this is already day 17, it´s not that far to the end anymore, so you will find out ^^

Catalog Cats: Then I hope you had no bad days for the last… 2 ½ weeks oO Sorry for the wait.

AlistairAmor: XD But I looovvve challenges ^.~ You sure you don´t wanna bet…? Yes, in this fic, Roy and the General are definitely the victims XD At least one of them deserved it though ;D

KawaiiChibi: No, he´s not ^-^ glad, it makes you happy, but you have to read to find out about the ring XD

xNeissax: Uhm… I hope you like this chapter as well ._. It´s a lot of explaining, not much fun u.u but it get´s better again, I promise ^^ It´s the 17th day into the bet ^-^

Rosa Mar: You´re welcome ^^ And sorry for ruining your fun u.u But I think you will like this ending more than the last :D

RomiofAmestria: Of course you were ^-^ I think it´s rude to not answer to comments ._. It´s like turning around in the middle of a conversation and leaving your dialog partner oO

As for the ring… uhm… let me know what you think ^^ I apologize if this isn´t to your liking but my plot bunny preferred it like this u.u can´t say no to this damn creature.

Natsukyi: ;_; you hate me? Really? u.u Now I´m depressed… Q_Q See, you have me going through all my cry-emoticons TT_TT And I can´t say something about possible future sex scenes, it would be spoilering ._. But… uhm… I can at least tell you there will be more physical affection in the future ^^° Does that help?

Black-klepton: Oh, I´d love to hear about your ideas ^-^ Tell me? Pretty please?

I´m happy you liked the kiss ^-^ They took long enough, didn't they? ^.~ Even though Roy had to ruin it, at least he doesn´t act like a total moron ^^°

Yeeessss, the bet ^,^ Roy is lined up for trouble ^-^

Mackintosh-14: I´m happy you like the story :D This is not an encouragement for threatening other authors, but this story indeed gets longer and longer oO There are already more chapters than I´ve planned for this part. Originally, I had thought this scene to happen about three chapters earlier. But somehow, more and more unplanned scenes are pushing themselves forwards u.u Well, it´s not a bad thing, so I won´t complain ^^

Tatalina: XD pleasant torture… *lol* It´s amazing how many people enjoy being tortured, I should open a club for masochistic readers ^.~ You´re welcome, of course ;D

Dontchafeel likedancing: Oh yes, I admit it ^.^ I love cliffhangers =^,^= And yes, they were about to get down and dirty u.u I (almost) hate my plotbunny for forcing me to stop them ._.

AncientHistory: No, he´s not ^-^ You can relax again XD

o-Jeff-o: That your friend… what? oO Hey, finish that sentence, honey! You´ve got me curious XD Thank you for going through all this trouble to review ^-^ Dear Roy will have to deal with more than just Ed´s issues XD Can´t give the guy a break now, can we? ^.~ About Roys team: The answer to that question is already in one of the earlier chapters, but that hint is all you will get XD Feel free to put as much into the review as you like ^^ if it gets really, really long, I´ll send you a mail and we can chat about your ideas ^-^ And if your friends continue to steal your dsi: Maybe you should them that if they want to read porn, they should get their own source or wait till you´re finished XD

Thank you very much for number 200 *hugs*

terracannon876: You´re welcome, I´m happy you loved it ^.^ You´ll find out more about Ed's behavior later. And about the bet and the 3H's of course ;D

ELOSSS Alchemist: Yes, finally kissing ^-^ Really, they took long enough ._. And finally some explaining as well XD I`m excited to hear you fell for the engagement XD I know it´s mean, but in my humble opinion a few shocks keep the readers alive ^.~

Tsukasa..rule: More is down there ^-^ And the answer to the question about whether the ring is trishas or not ^-^

Moonangel666: I´m delighted to see you happy again :D

Secret25: It´s great to hear you like the development ^-^ Feel free to ramble as much as you like ^-^ I´m always happy to read what the readers are thinking. I know, some question were unanswered last chapter, but there is progress ^-^ Let´s see at which chapter all of them will be cleared XD

The Curse of Forever: How about Roy´s past? Say, the last seventeen days? XD Yes, finally some explanations ^-^ And of course, more trouble for Roy is on the way :D

Lil'Bow: You can´t believe how many times I was tempted to write the damn ring with a capital R as well xD I`m happy you liked the last chapter ^^ This one is more serious and there´s lot of explanation, but I hope the ending will lighten it up a bit ^-^

Kittywoman12: Thank you *bow* I´m happy you enjoyed it ^-^

Sachiel Angelo: Yes, some action XD I´m happy for it as well. But the answer… uhm… there are _some_ answers down there ^^°

Fnick's Witness: You stopped for a second to round the house… so, after a second you continued… you managed to round the house in one second? Impressive ^.~ Yeah, bad joke I know XD But I´m happy you enjoyed it so much :D I agree that the boys took really, really long o.O I don´t think it would have worked however to let them just jump each other. At least not in this story ^^

ShiroTsukiKiba: Yeah, he did ^-^ I´m happy you love the story!

StolenSecrets: I´m happy you clicked the review button ^.~ Even if not planned XD I´m no big fan of the kind of fics you mentioned ^^ But I have to admit, my beta is very busy and has a lot to do with my fics XD I´m very grateful for her help and am delighted to see you like her work as well ^^

Kuro-Kitsu: I´m happy you like the fic ^-^ I´ll try to update as fast as possible but real life keeps me busy these days ._. However, I started already on the next chapter ^^

XxKat-OF-ShadowsxX: You feel like Roy? My deepest sympathy XD Nice guesses :D At least part of them will be confirmed (or not) down there ^.^

Ellokin Niven: Thank you for all the reviews :D And please let your sister know I´m grateful for the recommendation ^-^ And happy you both like the story so much :D I hope you will enjoy the rest of the story as well. Don´t worry about me not finishing the fic, I definitely will (even if the last two chapters took longer to update than I wanted them to u.u) The whole fic is already planned through and I´ve already started on the next chapter ^^

Tmmdeathwishraven: XD How many days would you have given him? And no worries, I´m not that easily offended XD But taking Riza's guns… you sure that is a good idea? XD I don´t think anyone would dare to take her guns from Riza :D But if you still do, I really admire you XD

About the fucking and Roy winning or not winning the bet: you will have to wait and see ^^

PrinceDarkLink: XD I´m happy you enjoyed Armstrong (The military personal in Central certainly did not XD) If you love Ed teasing Roy: there will of course be more of that, but our dear Colonel has some more trouble on his way ^.~

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**The Bet of the Year**

Chapter 17: Fuck up, suck up, and promise

Ed excused himself for a few minutes in order to get properly dressed, taking longer than strictly necessary. Roy suspected that the younger man did it as a courtesy to his guest. The Flame Alchemist was in dire need of a few moments alone with his throbbing erection, which refused to back down. Considering the look on his face, Ed most likely wasn't having the same problem. The memories Roy had forced him to confront were obviously painful, and while the older man regretted causing Edward discomfort, his curiosity demanded satisfaction.

Roy just wished he could think of something horrible enough to kill his own erection. Dead animals weren't doing it for him anymore. Hearing the younger man approaching, the Colonel placed a pillow in his lap and reluctantly tried to turn his thoughts to Ishbal, but the harrowing images didn't want to form in his mind. Roy kept trying. This damnably persistent erection had to go. It was not that he was ashamed or embarrassed by the very impressive tent in his trousers. Indeed not.

It was simply a shitty moment to have a boner.

Ed was finally going to tell him what happened the day he had disappeared, and where he had been, and if his reluctance to talk about it was any indication, his experiences likely hadn't been very enjoyable. It was just wrong to listen to a serious story with your dick rock hard, clamouring for attention.

The young man returned to the living room wearing jeans and a tee shirt, not even trying to hide his amusement when he noted the concealing pillow in Roy's lap. He must have realized that his guest still suffered from a severe hard on, even after the time he had been granted to cool off. The blond didn´t comment on it however, for which the Colonel was grateful. He didn't want to waste any time verbally sparring with his former subordinate. He wanted to get down to the account of the younger man's lost years, and hopefully his erection would recede in the mean time. Still, Roy couldn't help one last twinge of regret for what he had ruined with his big mouth. But for his stupid question, his erection would have long since ceased to be a problem in a most delightful way. Instead he was forced to sit here with a pillow in his lap, trying to ignore the painful ache in his groin. Honestly, he should have been used to this by now.

"Do you remember what I told you about the gate?" Ed´s voice broke Roy from his musings.

"Yes." Answering Ed's question and ignoring the twitching general was probably the best way to deal with it. Sooner or later, his dick just had to slack.

And of course he remembered what Ed had told him about the Gate. Even though Roy had never encountered that alchemic phenomenon personally, he had no doubt that Edward had been telling the truth about it, no matter how crazy it sounded. Roy always considered himself a good judge of character, and he clearly recalled Edward's manner when he'd told his commander about what happened on the day the Elric brothers tried to bring their mother back. Face pale, a thin sheen of sweat on his forehead, the almost imperceptible tremor in his hands, yes, the former Lieutenant Colonel had known the blond had not lied about his traumatic experience.

Edward had been a child when he'd first told Roy about the Black Gate, and no child would ever have been able to lie so convincingly, genius or not. Not to someone who was a practiced liar himself. Ed had certainly done something amazing, something most alchemists never managed to accomplish. And even though he had been unsuccessful, Edward had survived, and that in itself was a wonder. Binding Al's soul to the armour – after losing his left leg – was yet another incredible accomplishment.

When he thought about it, Roy was still amazed that Edward had come through it with his sanity intact. After everything he'd been through at such a tender age, it would have been no surprise if the boy had lost his mind. Grown men had lost it for less. And there were plenty of supposedly sane people who displayed some disturbing tendencies. For example, could a person who turned other people into bombs, or someone who used his own blood to create weapons, or a man who burned human beings to death with the snap of his fingers really be considered completely sane? There were so many crazy people – and not just alchemists - serving in the military, it was a wonder no one had yet had the sense to lock them all up and throw away the key. Ed's reasons for doing what he'd done back then likely made him more sane than the rest of them. And of all the terrible acts committed by State Alchemists, Ed's, done with no intention of doing harm to any other living creature, was the one that would result in his facing a firing squad should anyone ever discover the truth.

The younger man was biting on his lower lip uncertainly.

"You told me it was a pair of enormous, black doors sitting on a featureless white plain," Roy prompted him. "It had a large eye carved into its centre, and the posts and lintel were sculpted into what looked to you like tortured souls in agony."

Ed nodded slowly, still appearing unsure of how to start his account. "Yeah. Well ... it´s a gate."

"Yes, you said that," Roy said with a frown.

"No... yes..." With a displeased grimace Edward tried to organize his explanation. "I mean it's a gate. As in, a way to go from one place to another. Something you can pass through, to get to someplace else," Fullmetal elaborated.

Oh. Well, that made sense. The Gate was all about equivalent exchange, as harsh as it could be. It decided on the price to be paid for alchemy done, human transmutation in particular. But with all the maiming, hurting and sadistic playing with human lives and living bodies the Gate did, somehow the point that it was a _gate_ became lost. Nodding in understanding, Roy motioned for Ed to continue.

Sighing loudly, the young man did. "I made a deal with it, and passed through to the other side."

Something was off about Ed's phrasing, but Roy couldn´t quite place what it was. But it got lost in the meaning of the sentence's last part.

"The other side?" Roy said incredulously, not exactly sure what to expect next.

"Another world."

Roy hadn´t expected that. If it had been anyone else telling him this, Roy would have thought they were either making it all up, or batshit crazy. As it was, this was really beginning to stress his trust in the young man. But Edward had no reason to lie to him. The young man looked like he expected Roy to declare him insane. When all his former superior did was wait for him to continue, the short alchemist relaxed. Nonetheless, he clearly struggled for the right words.

"It's kind of hard to describe. I mean, it wasn't all that different from here. There were people. Buildings. Countries. But it _was_ different. I can´t really describe it. The colors were ... off. Bleached and … uhm… kinda more grey. And there was no alchemy there. Their science was ... different... kinda messed up without it. So they had to do things ... other ways." The way Ed frowned, his description most likely still missed a lot of what he was trying to explain.

"But it was a society? Humans? A country? A sky?" Roy asked, intrigued. As incredible as the notion of another world beyond the Gate might sound, Ed had been _somewhere_. And once again, what could the young alchemist gain by lying about this? They needed to start with the basics and move from there. Roy hoped this would give Ed a starting point, allowing him to tell Roy simple facts about the other world that would have not emotional ties. Then, hopefully, Ed could use that to frame the details of his experiences there.

"Uhm … yeah, all of that."

The blond man sighed, then began giving Roy a description of the place he had lived for the years he had been away, the older man occasionally asking for clarification of some detail or another. It appeared as if the tactic was working. Ed´s voice soon became steady and objective as he described a society very close to their own, and yet also very different. And Roy felt what the man had most likely been trying to convey when he couldn´t find the right words. Even just hearing about the existence of a parallel world felt strange. Roy could only imagine what living must have been like.

Ed's words portrayed a completely clear picture of the world on the other side of the gate. A very disconcerting picture. It wasn´t even just the fact that alchemy was missing, which was something Roy had difficulty trying to imagine. In this world, alchemy was ever-present, part of daily life, even for people who could not use it themselves. It was wrapped up in every aspect of modern technology. The other world's technology had its basis in physics, which here was an undeveloped field. In fact, most people considered it a rip-off of alchemy for the people who couldn´t do the real thing. That it could be developed into something so powerful was beyond amazing. Roy made a note to himself to investigate this further. Maybe it would be worthwhile to invest some time in the science and the people practicing it.

However, what shocked Roy the most was the idea of a whole world at war. Many countries, choosing their allies, and engaging in furious battle to defend their ideologies. The thought was frightening.

As Edward finally began to describe his situation in more personal detail, another aspect of the story took Roy by surprise. Edward seemed to have spent some time living with his father. Of all the people to live with, he would never have expected Ed to tolerate Hohenheim, and said so.

"When I first got to that other world, I had a bit of a hard time," Ed explained and quickly elaborated. "The gate is very particular about what passes through its doors. Hohenheim had a theory that it rejects things that might have too big an impact on technological development. And while they did have some very advanced technology over there, some of the stuff we have here was missing completely."

"Automail." Roy guessed, and Edward confirmed it with a nod.

"Yeah. It didn't make it through with me. Compared to what they have over there, my arm and leg were really sophisticated prosthetics." Ed grimaced again. "Anyway, that was the reason I had to stay with Hohenheim, as much as I didn't want to be anywhere near him. And as much as I would have liked to punch the old bastard. Not that I didn't try. But missing an arm and a leg, Hohenheim didn´t have much trouble avoiding the hits."

The disturbing thought of Edward without his automail was not entirely unfamiliar. Both Barry the Chopper and Scar had been able to rid him of his metallic arm. But losing both his false limbs and the ports … Roy thought of the mutilated child he had chanced upon years ago.

"It was the same with alchemy, it didn´t fit in there, so I couldn´t use it," the younger man continued. "Imagine what would happen if someone suddenly appeared with … a Flugzeug … uhm… that´s kind of like a car that can fly through the air, at a couple hundred kilometres per hour, carrying people and cargo."

Roy blinked at the strange sounding word, and the description of what it was. The Colonel kept up to date with military research and development, and as far as he knew, there was nothing even close to this on the developmental drafting table. The closest Amestris came to realizing flight was in experiments with hot air balloons, the latest innovation being the notion that using gasses less dense than air could provide more reliable lift. That was a far cry from a machine that could fly freely through the air at great speeds. Hell, the top speed of a state-of-the-art, narrow gauge steam locomotive was just over forty-five kilometres per hour. A trip from Central to East City took two full days of travel, nonstop. With the flying machine that Ed described, the trip could be made in about ten hours. Probably less, because you could cross the country literally as the crow flies, no mountain, lake, or river an obstacle.

And no national border would present a barrier either. Who could stop the driver of such a machine? How high could it fly? Beyond the reach of ground based artillery? And equipped with artillery of its own, or say, one flame wielding alchemist, such a machine could lay waste to whole battalions, mowing them down where they stood. And with a squadron of these machines . . .

Roy reined in his inner soldier. There was a lot of potential in Edward's knowledge of the other world's technology, but Roy wouldn´t push the man for details now. The younger alchemist had made his point, and very clearly. The effect of something as advanced as this flying machine suddenly appearing would have a serious impact on any country. Take the economy as a prime example. Suddenly coming into common use, without the gradual introduction that years of perfecting through research and development provided, a flying machine would quickly replace trains as the main form of transportation, for people as well as goods. The railways would likely suffer a sudden decline, the people who made it their livelihood suddenly without a source of income. The fledgling air machine industry would not be widespread enough to offset this disaster, and the country would in all probability suffer an economic recession, perhaps even a full depression. Even national security would be affected. Fearing Amestris' superior technology, her neighbours might decide to mount a pre-emptive strike, hoping to end a possible threat before it became a reality.

Roy had the distinct impression that Ed had deliberately chosen an example that was close to but far beyond what could be found in this world. And Roy could easily imagine what would happen if someone showed up with such a machine. The government – read the military – would immediately take both the machine and its owner into 'protective' custody. There was no way the inventor of a scientific advancement like that would be left to his own devices. The risk of that technology falling into enemy hands would be too great. The brass would naturally move to secure it for their own uses.

The Colonel wondered how a world without automail would react to the appearance of – from their point of view - extremely advanced prosthetics.

"I couldn´t leave the house, and I had no clue about automail," The blond admitted with a frown. "That had always been Winry's job. But Hohenheim had a general knowledge about the mechanics of how the nerve stimuli are transferred through the ports, so we gave it a try."

"With a general knowledge?" Roy stared incredulously. "Ed, please tell me you didn't just go ahead and attach prosthetics to your nervous system based on a 'general knowledge' of a concept." It wasn't really the typical go-for-it-behaviour that Ed often practiced that was throwing Roy off balance. It was the thought of how much pain it meant to 'give it a try'. A bitter lump in his throat made it hard for the older man to swallow the bile. And he felt his anger rise at the reckless behaviour, not on Ed's part, but Hohenheim's in particular.

But the scolding hit a nerve. The nervous gesture, Ed's fingers running through the drying strands of hair, was telling. "We didn´t do it completely on our own." The former Fullmetal argued. "The old man managed to find a doctor willing to help and keep his mouth shut."

"Did you at least take some time to research it first? No, of course you didn't," Roy snapped. The Colonel clearly remembered what the boy had pushed himself through the first time he got automail. He had reduced the usual three years of therapy to one year, and Roy was sure the man hadn't waited this time either. How could Hohenheim let this happen? He should have stopped it, should have insisted that they take time to do some research, and force his stubborn son to wait. "I realize that it would be a huge inconvenience, being confined to your father's home, but no matter how much you wanted to move again, a few months of re-"

"It´s not that!" As soon as Ed spoke the words, he flushed. "Not that alone. I needed to be able to move and appear normal."

"You skipped research that could have helped you lessen the pain for appearances?" Roy asked unbelieving. This absolutely did not fit into Roy's opinion of the young man. And the accusation earned him a glare.

"I needed to look normal so people wouldn´t see I was missing two limbs."

"Since when have you cared about what people think about your appearance?" That actually made even less sense. Ed groaned annoyed.

"Can you just shut up and let me explain?" the blond snapped, and Roy barely managed to keep his mouth from snapping back. So far Ed's explanations were more confusing than enlightening.

"Just hear me out," the young man said with quiet intensity. "The whole atmosphere of that world was depressing. People were suffering from the consequences of a lost war. The veterans had returned to find their country in a desperate state, the economy crashed, politically unstable, no work, little food, dismal future. They felt betrayed, couldn´t understand why their country had surrendered to their enemies. They didn't see that it was the war itself that had beaten up their economy, to the point that there was simply no money left to finance that war. Or anything else for that matter."

Amestris was a relatively young nation, and fought it´s wars brutally, but successfully. Roy tried to imagine returning home defeated from something like the civil war against Ishbal and finding a situation like the one Ed described. It was not something he ever hoped to experience.

"A very… idiosyncratic politician gained the public's support." Ed's careful choice of words here spoke volumes, and not as a compliment. As far as Roy knew, Edward had never been interested in politics, and when pressed expressed his view with much more colourful language. The fact that Ed was talking like this, and that he had been forced to get automail as soon as possible at any cost, was as telling as if the man had ranted for a full hour about the mentioned politician.

"I´m not going to give you the full breakdown of his political tactics," the young man told him flat out. The Colonel only shrugged. Even though it would have been interesting, he didn´t expect Ed to grasp all nuances of a political agenda. Which he probably shouldn´t mention, since the man was talking and not ranting. Still, he was eager to get to the points that interested him more. He wanted to know what else had happened to Ed himself, and how the blond had returned from the other world. And of course, who had given the ring to him.

"Let´s just say that his policies were based on three principles. Fuck ups, suck ups, and promises." The blond grimaced. "It included fucking up the people he did not consider worthy, beginning with their collective reputation, and ending with their lives. He did this while blowing sugar up the asses of the rest of the population, with promises of how much prosperity they could enjoy if they gave him power."

Trust Ed to reduce politics to a few crude sentences punctuated with the requisite curses. But as much as the politician in Roy wanted to object, he knew that Ed's description was not as wrong as Roy would have liked. The language was certainly not formal, and politics had far more complexity than this, but the mentioned principles were in fact a standard part of many a politician's strategy, designed chiefly to get to them where they wanted to be.

And Roy unerringly picked out the one that would have an impact on Ed's situation.

"And what or who exactly did this man consider unworthy?" Seeing the way Edwards's nose wrinkled up was proof that he was on the right track.

"Uhm… Juden, Zigeuner, Zeugen Jehovas, the other countries that had won the war, religions, criminals, minorities - " Roy blinked, surprised at the growing list. The first three sounded like they could be cultural or religious groups. The fourth and the sixth points where no surprise. The battlefield bred a lot of animosity, and criminals were generally frowned upon. The last was not ethical correct, but for the kind of politician this man seemed to be, minorities would be handy scapegoats in a failing economy. "-political adversaries, homosexuals, the mentally and physically disabled, and uhm.. anyone else who was considered antisozial." Ed stopped here and frowned. Oh great, there was more? "That included homeless people, migrants, beggars, families of lower social classes with lots of children, prostitutes, and – oh fuck. You name it. Whatever you can think of, it´s probably on the list." Edwards's patience with this subject was at end, not surprisingly. Was there anybody that this politician did not despise?

But right now, two points on that list mattered, and Roy was very tempted to ask if Ed had a reason to worry about the 'homosexuals' part. "And without automail, you fell into the physically disabled category."

Roy's words finally built the bridge between politics and Ed´s surgery. And he received a confirming nod as Ed finally decided to occupy his hands and reach for the by now lukewarm coffee. The Colonel examined him while he drank the beverage, thinking about what he had heard so far. His eyes wandered the other alchemist's neck, down over the collar of the long-sleeved shirt to his chest where Roy could just make out the faint outlines of the hidden ring. He had the decency to wait till the former Fullmetal had swallowed his coffee, before he spoke again.

"I suspect that hiding the relationship with your boyfriend was easier than hiding your prostheses."

The Flame Alchemist smirked amused when the man across from him stared confounded, and then flushed.

"What the – what gave you that idea?"

"The fact that you did not deny it just now." Roy grinned wider at Ed's glare. But it had not been a shot in the dark, so he elaborated. "And that you are hiding your engagement ring, a habit developed to perhaps avoid unwelcome questions. You couldn't be caught with a ring matching that of another man, particularly if there was no woman at hand to pass off as your fiancée."

Once again the young blond's hand travelled up to his neck, while Roy smugly continued.

"As I can´t see you making any vows to someone across the Gate, since getting home would have been your main priority - " Ed didn´t even attempt to protest this. So it was this mystery man who had tried to develop the relationship into a serious commitment, not Ed. This was good. Some part of Roy purred in satisfaction at the thought that the other man had not been able to completely capture the blond. "- it had to be him. The ring itself is also a clue. A woman would be more likely to choose a fancier ring, for sentimental reasons. But judging from the political climate you describe, I suspect it would have been highly unlikely for a woman to offer such a proposal. That society had to be extremely conservative if gays could become such an easy political target. Your fiancé was a man."

Ed's eyebrow went up as he started to realize just how much he had really told his former superior, without actually saying anything at all.

"You are aware of the fact that you sleep with your stomach exposed most of the time?"

The seeming change of topic caught Edward of guard, but he didn´t take long to reply with a weary, cautious, "Yeah."

"Then why do you sleep wearing a shirt – and nothing else?" Roy smirked salaciously as the color returned to Edwards's cheeks. "I guess your lover liked the view. Or was it the easy access?"

"Did it ever occur to you that I might sleep naked when alone? Maybe I put it on the shirt when your annoying knocking woke me." The defence did nothing to lessen the red color on Edwards face.

Especially not when the Colonels smirk widened. "Of course the thought of you naked in bed came into my mind," he added to the conversation.

Ed chose to hide behind his coffee cup, but Roy was definitely enjoying himself. The young man in front of him was obviously unsure of how to handle the situation. For a moment Roy wondered why. After all, the young man was no virgin, and after their little make-out session he should be aware of what Roy wanted to do with him.

"So, when someone wakes you in the middle of the night, you don´t put on underwear or pants? And of course you button the shirt up and take your hair out of the collar." Roy had seen enough women dress either in a hurry or still half asleep to know that long hair generally got stuck beneath clothes.

Ed groaned. "Oh fuck it, it´s not as if I wouldn´t have told you about him anyway." Then the blond noticed the self-satisfied grin on his former superior's lips and snorted. "Jerk."

Taking a sip from his own coffee, the Colonel booked the insult as a victory and picked up the original discussion where it had been left. "What happened after you got your automail?"

"Nothing. I found some work in a field that was in early development, one I figured was my best bet for a way home. From what I heard, Hohenheim was also searching for a way back."

"From what you heard? I thought you two lived together." Surely they would manage to talk if they roomed in the same apartment.

Ed was shaking his head at the statement. "He left shortly after I got the automail. Helped the doctor get out of the country. When he returned, I already had another flat mate." There the young alchemist paused and placed the cup back on the table to once again run his fingers through his drying hair. He grimaced when they got stuck at a tangle.

"I´m not sure what … uhm…" For a moment Edward struggled for words. "His attempts at finding a way home were more dangerous than mine. The people he was dealing with were ... kind of crazy."

So Hohenheim had found different accommodations in order not to lead others to his son. They didn´t share the same last name, but the similar looks would have been a dead giveaway for anybody who saw them together. Ed clearly suspected that this was the reason Hohenheim left him once again, but Roy knew he would never admit it out loud. Still, the suspicion was there, and that alone brought up the question of how Ed would come to a conclusion that acknowledged even this tiny bit of fatherly behaviour in Hohenheim's actions.

"He got involved with the political party that was lead by Hitler… uhm, that´s the asshole politician. There was a branch within the government that researched paranormal phenomenon. Stuff like alchemy, hermetic runes, magic, alternate realities. Occultism."

"Occultism? What has occultism to do with alch-" Roy caught himself the moment he remembered that alchemy was not part of daily life there. That would need some getting used to. Ed's wistful smile told him that he was not the only one who needed to adjust to the concept of their honoured science being part of something abstruse as occultism. "Strange for such a conservative party to investigate occultism," The Colonel pointed out the obvious inconsistency.

Fullmetal only shrugged, as uninterested in politics as ever. "But I guess you can see why Hohenheim would get involved with it. It was the closest thing to alchemy he could find. Stupid wanna-be Satanists." Again the flesh digits went through gold strands. And once again they got stuck. Ed's irritation became visible in the form of a frown, and this time he didn´t take the fingers out of the tangled hair, but attempted to part the strands forcefully with the help of his other hand. It didn´t work. "Using Hohenheim's knowledge of alchemy, they were trying to find a way to get to, and ultimately conquer, 'Shamballa'. Their name for our world. What a stupid name."

Roy really couldn´t disagree with the last statement. As for the rest, there were still missing pieces. He would have heard of an army from another world trying to take over Amestris. Nevertheless, Ed talking about this and not about the 'work' he had done were a clear sign that this was the path that led him back home in the end.

"Did they succeed in finding a way here?"

"Yes."

* * *

The fact that Envy had survived the trip through the gate was a surprise, and though Ed didn´t fill Roy in about how both he and the homunculus managed to pass through, it was a relief to find out that the sin was now dead. All the power of his incomplete philosopher stones had gone into the forceful opening of the gate from the other world. The way this had been accomplished was far from comforting however, but it explained Ed's change of attitude regarding Hohenheim's motives.

"Does Al know he´s dead?" Roy asked quietly.

The question brought back a nervous gesture as Ed once again tried to untangle damp blond strands. Slowly, the younger alchemist nodded. But the unconscious movement of Ed's fingers reminded Roy of the way Havoc clung to his cigarettes when nervous, or the way Hawkeye checked her guns whenever something managed to unsettle her. For that alone Roy decided to dig a bit deeper.

"Does he know how? And why?"

No answer. Roy sighed.

"You really need to talk to him." He didn´t have to tell Ed how unfair it was to tell his brother about their father's death and leave out all the details, simply to avoid having to fill him in on the things they had gone through together. If he were to guess, Roy would say Al already knew about most of it. Ed's stubborn refusal to talk must have taken a terrible toll on their relationship. The Colonel would never have foreseen this happening between the two brothers.

And he needed to break this tense atmosphere. By now he was quite sure that Ed had adopted the habit of answering uncomfortable questions with silence in the other world. Taking into account the young man's knowledge of alchemy, his relationship to Hohenheim, the fact that he carried around some very advanced technology in order to deal with his physical disability, and of course his male lover… Ed had literally been a walking target for this political party. He'd no doubt had to be very careful.

Should he ever tell the wrong person about his country of birth, that he was from another world, the average person of that society would most likely have consider him a lunatic, while the branch of the government researching occultism would have been hunting him down. Ed had never been as skilled with words as he was with alchemy. Far from it. And he knew it. So for him, keeping silent was the best defence. There hadn't even been anyone to cover Ed's back, except maybe his lover, who had his own secrets to keep as a homosexual. The man likely hadn't been part of that political party either, as Roy couldn't see someone who could make such a heavy impression on Ed being part of a blatantly discriminatory organization.

It figured that Ed would go from one extreme to the other. From ranting and screaming his outrage to absolute silence. For a moment Roy amused himself with the thought of the many people who must have tried to get him to open up were driven to despair by the obstinate blond. Roy had firsthand experience with that stubbornness.

But those were people that Ed wouldn´t have dared to trust.

This was different. Even if it was hard to get rid of old habits – even more so if they were drilled into you by a dangerous situation – the former Fullmetal would need to let go of his self-imposed boundaries.

It all came down to trust. Ed might be willing to sleep with Roy, and to talk to him about what happened. And Roy felt a surge of proud satisfaction at the thought that he was probably the only person in the world who was trusted on both counts. However, when it came to the really personal matters, the Colonel was still faced with a wall of silence.

He wanted to change that. It bugged him.

And then it felt like a war broke out.

Suddenly the quiet of the living room was shattered by an unbelievable annoying, disturbing sound. And it was _loud_. So loud that all Roy's muscles momentarily froze up, heart pounding. It reminded Roy of the alarm sirens that had woke him up every morning at three a.m. during his academy days.

Ed didn´t even flinch. He just rushed out of the room. Moments later the nose stopped and Edward returned to the living room.

The Colonel was still trying to calm down from the war situation. His ears rang.

He pitied Ed's neighbours.

"Did you plan to wake all of Central?" he asked.

The ringing in his ears wouldn't stop, and Roy blinked irritated at the fact that he had no idea how loud he was talking. Ed's guilty look suggested that Roy was probably half screaming, and Fullmetal picked up on the fact that he'd almost killed his former superior's ears. Maybe Roy should make a list of body parts that suffered from the blond man's behaviour. His dick would be right at the top, followed by his ears. Edward was saying something, but Roy couldn´t quite make it out. Ed flushed with embarrassment when he realized that, hands moving to unwire the knot in his hair, pulling out small strands. The Colonel had had enough of that.

"Get a hairbrush." Roy ordered. Ah, his hearing was slowly returning. As was Edwards embarrassed blush.

The young man stopped his movement and looked at his hands, only now realizing his own actions.

* * *

Roy was glad he hadn´t really noticed Ed´s back before, as his attention had been directed considerably lower. The tangled mess of blond hair was anything but erotic. The young man had started to assault the hair with the brush, while trying to appear manly doing so. It was difficult. Gently brushing out tousled strands was rather adorable, and adorable was womanly, and womanly was not something any man in his right mind would want to be. Soft, careful brushing of long hair was obviously not a manly pursuit, as was anything that included the terms 'soft' and 'long hair'. And while Ed was definitely not a woman, with or without the long hair, he was still stubborn and defensive around the man who had once been his commanding officer, and as such, did not want to give him any ammunition for teasing.

It was painful to watch. Roy never wore his hair long, but from the complaints of women he had dated, he understood that brushing out such a mess had to be pure torture for both the hair and its owner.

He snatched the brush out of Ed's hand. Really, he did it to save himself from the bad mood Edward would be in if he continued hurting himself.

"What the fu-" Ed stopped short when Roy sat down next to him. He grumbled when the Colonel's hand on his shoulder applied faint pressure to encourage him to turn his back to the man. He muttered insults at the perverted Bastard for ordering him even without words when he shifted on the couch.

He said nothing while Roy eliminated one tangle after another with the patience of someone who made plans not days in advance, but years. Who worked systematically and with great care to do the things he did, and do them right. Much gentler than Ed had been, and much more efficiently as well.

Half way through the work, the blond started to talk again.

"What is it with people being obsessed with my hair?" The soft question didn´t sound like Ed minded at all. Roy just hummed and continued with his task, mesmerized by the feel of soft blond locks between his fingers.

It was strange. Not too long ago he'd had his tongue in the blond alchemist's mouth, and could probably have groped him without having his fingers broken. He would most likely have fucked the young man. This was just a brush running through smoothed out strands. A brush and his fingers.

It shouldn´t feel so intimate.

Roy knew some parents brushed the hair of their children. But he didn´t feel like Ed´s father. And he didn´t stop, even as the brush went unhindered through the strands.

"First Winry and Pinako. Then… uhm… whenever my automail broke down, someone always came along to braid it or pull it up." Considering how often the automail 'broke down', aka had been destroyed by Ed or someone else, the list of people to do this at some point had to be rather long. "Even Elysia did it once, although my automail was fine at the time." Ed chuckled, embarrassed and amused at the same time. "She didn't want to stop, and kept undoing and redoing the braid. Then finally, just so she wouldn´t have to destroy her work again and again, she decided that instead of one big braid, she could make a lot of smaller ones." Now his voice got a pained undertone. "It took me over an hour to get it back to normal. Al couldn´t grasp them, they were too small. Gracia helped me when Hughes took his daughter to an ice cream van. I had to leave before they got back. She would have done it again."

"She did the same to Al when he visited." Roy said with a suppressed laugh. After braiding her mother's hair, the girl found out that both their daddy's and Uncle Roy's hair was too short for the new hairstyle she had planned, and had pouted until she had spotted the younger Elric. It was only a matter of seconds until her new prey had been coaxed into enduring the procedure. The dark blond hair has been as long as Ed's was now and it took hours, but the girl had not become tired of braiding. Al had, and had fallen asleep. And he hadn't woken up with just braids. Thinking that Al's hair now looked very pretty, Elysia had decided to make the rest of his head pretty as well. Her mom's makeup had been perfect for completing the task. Hughes probably still had the picture.

And of course Roy couldn't resist sharing the story.

"I miss him." Ed said after recovering from his laughing fit.

It didn´t sound regretful anymore. Or sad. There was a determined tone in Ed's voice. The kind of undertone someone had when they reached a decision and knew what to do.

Roy just smiled.

**Tbc. **

* * *

To be honest, it´s not my fav-chapter ._. ( Let me know what you think ^^ after sitting so many days on this, I can´t find much good in this chapter anymore XD Except for the parts my beta&co-author edited ^^°)

I´ve barely avoided a writers block and only two things were responsible for the 'avoided'. One: I didn't want to disappoint you ^^ Thank you for all the comments! They helped a lot :D

Two: drastic change of course ._. the ending was not planned this way, but I hope you don´t mind XD


	19. I told you so!

**Beta/Co-Author and the one who provided this chapter's title XD**: Ca11iope. Thank you, honey ^-^

**Notice**:

"Speaking"

'Thinking'

"_Letters, reports etc...and…" _

_Memories & Flashbacks_

* * *

**A/N:** The bad thing: Instead of getting longer, the chapters are short again u.u I´m sorry for that, the ending just feel right to me. I hope it´s still worth it, because the good thing is a result of it: The next chapter is already finished and I´ve send it to my dearest beta yesterday ^^ so that one should not take this long again ._.

LazyLamia: I don´t mind where you do it, I´m just happy you reviewed XD Roy certainly is getting more than expected, but he will have to give more as well at some point ^-^ I think it fits him to make his own conclusions, he´s a strategic and a thinker and he´s damn good at it ^-^

Catalog Cats: There will be progress on the Al-part of the story starting next chapter :D I love Al and of course I won´t leave the situation as it is now ;D Concerned?

ELOSSS Alchemist: Thank you, I´m happy you liked the chapter ^^ As for Ed, as long as there are the right reasons, he would deal with a lot ._. I was trying to pull it of convincing, thank you for confirming that it worked for you *hug*

Tmmdeathwishraven: Hm, I would guess you haven´t seen the first anime and/or movie? There is quite some input of that here, but I have hoped the chapter and story would be understandable enough even without it. I won´t tell you which parts I added or changed, since I don´t want to ruin the anime for you by spoilering you ._. But I recommend watching the serial, it´s different from brotherhood and I think you will enjoy a lot of the changes ^-^ Thank you for pointing out that I need to add a detail here. It´s not Envy they are talking about, but Hohenheim who died. So their father is the one Al would care about. More informations on Ed´s lover will be in later chapters and the question why he didn´t bring him over will be answered as well ^^ Lol, I don't blame you for the lack of faith in our dear Colonel XD I wouldn´t have given him that long if someone else wrote the story and I would read it u.u

KittyWoman12 : Thank you :D Means a lot, I was afraid the chapter would be hated ^^°

AlistairAmor: Thank you, I´m happy you like it ^-^ Yes, the general had to back down XD By the end of this fic, Roy's dick will probably suffer from ADS XD I like your guess about the one who proposed to Ed, but I won´t tell you if you guessed right ^^ there will be more information on Ed's lover and I think you will be able to answer your question when you read it. And yes, there will be progress in regards to Al as well. Starting soon ^.^ And yes, I finally managed to get another chapter faster, the next one is already with my beta XD I won´t need another two weeks to update ._.

Black-ice-alchemist: Then I really have to thank you ^-^ I´m excited you enjoy the story so much and grateful for all recommendations *hugs* You are very right on the review-high XD every single comment just improves my mood so much… I feel like on a sugar high XDD Don´t worry about the NDE ^^ You´re not retarded. My beta once wrote to me she came down with a bad case of RL… I assumed she was ill and told her that I hoped she would get better soon ._. as you said, it just didn't 'click' even if I definitely heard more than once that RL is real life ^^°

And… uhm… just to let you know, you don´t have to threat me (*scaredofthehammer*) the next chapter is already done and my beta is working on it XD Save the threats to another chapter, when I take longer ;D

Thank you, I love to hear you like the chapter ^^ There will of course be more fluff (and yes, more action as well XD But of course I won´t tell you _when_)

Fnick's Witness: Lol, yes, the hair ^^ Messy hair is okay, but tangled hair is a nightmare ._. Considered how badly Roy wants to fuck Ed, probably the latter will be the result, but he will just have to brush it again :-P For the next update you won´t have to hope ^^ it definitely will be updated faster than this one.

PrinceDarkLink: Care to share? I love to hear what readers think :D Even if it will take some time before you get your own answers XD Happy, you liked the chapter ^-^

Ixamxeverywhere: I´m honored you felt the chapters were worth the capital G XD I´m really happy you liked them ^-^ At least the fact that you accidently overlooked one saved you from a cliffhanger XD So it´s one less for you ^^

Natsukyi: ^^ It´s nice to hear your opinion of me improved, now I´m happy again XD There will be more fluff in the future as well ^^ And at least for the next chapter you don´t have to wait long, it´s already written ;-P

The Curse of Forever: Thank you very much, I´m really excited you liked the chapter so much ^-^ I´ll see to it that I will get some smut for you… it just may take a while ^^° (or not ;-X)

RomiofAmestria: XDDDD So, I guess you liked it ^^

Inuv5: Thank you ^-^ At least the next chapter will be updated faster again.

Kai-Chan94: I´m happy to hear you liked it ^^ I try to keep the conversations natural and I think usually the topic just changes within a discussion :D Nice to read it worked out well

Secret25: Yeah, I know what you mean ^^ The movie picks up this plot and it´s quite popular, but I´m still contemplating about how much information I will give you XD So, I won´t spoiler you on the future development, but I´m very tempted to drop a few more hints than originally planned :D Yes, there was not much obvious development, but as you noticed, there was something hidden in there ;-D You´re right about the opening up being progress. And of course in the whole hair brushing scene, as they finally have some fluffy moments as well ^-^ happy you liked that. Next chapter is already on the way ^^

Black-klepton: *pout* damn, I really like to hear what the readers are thinking XD Sorry for overloading your brain XD But I´m happy you still managed a review ^^ Should I be able to help with the language-learning-part, feel free to write me a message :D As for Ed's hair: we should maybe open another fetish club ;-P my guess would be that about 90 percent of the fma-yaoi-lovers have a thing for Ed's hair XD thank you for the not-lame-at-all-review ^.~

Proser132: He almost proposal is appreciated ;-P But I´m sorry to shot you off again, this time your curiosity ^^ But I can tell you, there will be more information on Ed's lover in later chapters. To be honest, at first I didn´t expect the story to become so deep either ._. But I´m happy you like the development and my plot-bunny earned some cookies XD Yes, there will be more fun in coming chapters and more talk as well, but I don´t think I´m telling you something you probably haven´t guessed already XD So I just leave you to the chapter and hope you will enjoy it as well ^^

SlytherinGurl: Sorry for keeping you awake but I´m happy to hear it was worth it ^-^ Dear Roy will suffer a lot of tension and very soon, so I hope this will make up for the lack of it XD

Inky-Shadow: Lol, he needs it XD He really, really needs it. I´m far from done with him :D

Hwap: More development on the Al-part of this story will come soon, so this will answer your questions about it ^^ I´m happy you enjoyed the fic and hope you will continue to do so ^.^

iStoleYourChips: Oh, thank you, you're still there XD I´ve been afraid I scared/offended you with the line about your name ^^° I'm happy to hear you still enjoy the story so much and thank you for letting me know. (To be honest, I didn´t even notice the anniversary XD But I´m excited you pay so much attention to this fic *hugs*)

smiles13: Ah, interesting guess. It will be answered in the next chapter ^^ And I promise it won´t take another two weeks to update it :D

Annie loves it: Thank you very much *bow* more torture is on the way ;-P

o-Jeff-o: Ohhhh ._. admit it, you want some revenge on the torture I put the readers though. Wanna know your guesses XD I really love to hear what the readers think, so feel free to elaborate your them XD I´m very excited about the rambling and I certainly don´t mind it. On the contrary: Keep going :D the part about Hughes finding out… you can read more on that down here and there will also be more information about Ed's lover in later chapters ^-^ So you will get more answers for your questions :D I´m excited you liked the chapter so much and hope you will enjoy the coming ones as well ^-^

XxKat-OF-ShadowsxX: I don´t think Roy brushed someone's hair before. At least I can´t see him doing it ^^ You´ve got lucky with your dad, mine tried to be gentle, but let´s put the emphasis on the tried part XD He just couldn´t handle it right and didn´t really know the technique :-P

Thank you for letting me know you enjoyed the chapter ^-^ The hair-brushing wasn´t planned, it was an escape route out of a writers block but I´m very happy it turned out so well and people liked it. As for Ed's lover: I can´t tell you if you will find it out, that would mean spoilering you, but I can tell you that you – and Roy-will find out more about him^^

La Luna Negra: I´m happy it made you laugh XD I figured it would just be a fitting way for Ed to describe it ^^ if you put it bluntly (and add a lot of cursing), as drastic as it´s sounds, it´s not exactly wrong. (And I don't think any supporter of Hitler would read a yaoi-fic XD So I guess I´m save from murder attempts by neo-nazis ^^°) Thank you for the opinion on the chapter ^^ It´s nice to read that at least it was valued as necessary :D And please, don´t mourn the lost opportunity, it won´t be the last one ;-P

Cynder81: It´s nice to read I managed to surprise you ^^ Thank you, I appreciate it and the fact that you liked the last chapter. But I can´t tell you about Ed finding out about the bet, I don´t want to ruin the story for you by spoilering you ^-^

PipsqueakMidget: XD Isn´t it? I couldn´t get it out of my head and just had to torture the poor brothers with a braid-addicted Elysia XD Next chapter is already on the way ^-^

Tsuki1613: No matter how long it took you, I´m happy you managed it ^-^ And even more happy you like the story so much. Thank you for recommending it :D And yes, I really would have loved to see that as well XDD That must have been awesome.

00Midnight Siren00: o.O You´ve got me blushing here. There really are a lot of awesome fics out there. Thank you very much *bow* I´m excited you commented on the details, I´m a big fan of those as well – as you can read XD –and I like to add a lot of them ^^ I´m happy you enjoy them so much!

Kawaii-Chibi666: Uhm… you´re right about that XD (obviously)… and… uhm..*cough* it may take a weee bit longer till there will be more information about him XD But I hope you enjoyed the braiding enough to not kill me for the lack of information XD There will be more… later ^^°

Hawkpath13: Oh, that poor guy oO He has my upmost sympathies XD and Roy's as well. And the generals ;-P Nice to read that stuff like that does actually happen XD Makes me feel better. But I´m also happy to read you liked the chapter, so you managed to improve my mood twice in one day XD I Next update will be faster, since it´s already with my beta ^^

Redchicken888: Thank you very much ^-^ I´m really happy you enjoy the story so much! And amazed you still managed to read it in one sitting oO the chapters are not that long, but the fic is not exactly short anymore. Let´s see about whether you are right with the guess or not ;-P But thanks for mentioning it, I love to read those. And Mustang really needs every encouragement and support he can get XD There are still some things I´ve planned for him. (And yes, you guessed correctly ;D and I will dutifully keep writing ^-^)

Layania: Don´t bleach your brain D: All the colorful insult would disappear and all the nice fantasies. Nooooo! I will do my best to help you repress that picture of Armstrong… with something better ;-P

LoveNote: ^^ you´re not the only one disappointed by this, but I assure you, it was necessary u.u sadly. Despite that, I love the fact that you enjoy the fic so much ^^ I hope you will continue to do so for the rest of it ^.^

* * *

**The Bet of the Year**

**Chapter 18: "I told you so!"**

Ed had quite obviously been ignoring the fact that his hair was in urgent need of a trim to get rid of the split ends. And it wasn't that he hadn't noticed, he really was just stubbornly ignoring it. But the reason for it was simply ridiculous.

"Yeah, like I want some strange guy standing behind me, waving a cross between a needle and a dagger at my neck, talking about _fashion_ and _wonderful outfits_ and _marvelous views _of whatever the guy is _visualizing. _That sounds like fun." The blond mumbled, almost gagging on the word 'fashion'.

"It´s a barber, Edward, not an executioner." Roy stated.

The blond snorted and tried to snatch his hair out of the Colonel's grip. Roy was not having any of that. Still, he didn´t expect a cursing Edward to fall against him when he pulled on the blond strands to keep them in his possession. He didn´t mind though, it gave him the perfect opportunity to tease the man. Wrapping his arms around the mismatched shoulders, Roy leaned in and whispered into Ed's ear.

"Besides, the end of your ponytail is not near your neck."

Despite the shiver, Edward's voice was steady.

"As if letting some strange guy near my ass with a pointy weapon is any – oh stop that, your dick is not a weapon!"

Without seeing Ed´s eyes, Roy was not sure if the blond was amused or annoyed as the older man brandished his weapon, rubbing it against the blond's bottom. The Colonel was too busy chuckling, his face buried in the shorter mans neck. Almost too late he noticed the way Edward was shifting and hastily tightened his grip around the young man, pinning him close to his body and successfully preventing the automail elbow from bruising his ribs.

"But you _are_ strange." Ed concluded.

That was not one of the more colorful insults Roy usually received from the man. Instead it sounded almost amused, and Roy wondered what Edward was thinking about.

The phone's shrill ring startled both of them.

Roy had not thought about the fact that Ed usually tended to sleep in. That the former State Alchemist had set his alarm clock this early was proof that he had plans to meet with someone. Although Roy was reluctant to let Ed stand up, the Flame held no grudge against whoever had interrupted their discussion, as long as it was not some love interest. He hadn´t forgotten about the plural form Ed used when he talked about his experience with lovers. But the disrespectful and annoyed way Edward talked to the person on the other end of the line spoke volumes about their relationship.

"Yeah, fuck off. I´ll be there in a few minutes." The hot tempered alchemist slammed the receiver down and huffed. Running his flesh fingers through the now tangle–free strands, Edward looked up to meet Roy's eyes. He opened his mouth to say something, but the Colonel beat him to it.

"I guess that´s my cue to leave." Standing up, the military officer internally cursed the interruption. There were still too many questions left unanswered and too many gaps in this story. But he shouldn´t complain, this would give him time to process through the new information.

"Actually, it´s mine." Glaring at the receiver, Ed made no move to hurry up and reduce the waiting time for whoever he had talked to. Out of pure stubbornness Ed waited a few extra seconds before sighing and finally moving again.

Roy felt a bit nostalgic, watching the younger man move around the apartment, gathering all the things he would need. It reminded him of all the times he'd had to chase Fullmetal down for his reports, back when he had been the blond's commanding officer. The young Major often returned late from long train rides, and even Alphonse had found it difficult to wake his brother at a reasonable hour to report in. Roy was sure that if he could have, the younger Elric would have delivered Edward's reports for him, but the Fullmetal Alchemist's organizational skills left much to be desired, and there was no point in trying to sort through a chaos that only made sense to one person – the one who caused it.

Since the Colonel was in no hurry to go anywhere, he waited patiently for his former subordinate, and they left the apartment together. Ed _was _in a hurry, but when it came to parting, he still hesitated, looking up at Roy.

"Uhm…" Biting his lower lip, it was clear Ed was contemplating something.

And Roy was quite sure he knew what had the man acting so insecure. He had seen this a million times, though usually it was with women he dated. Ed wanted to see him again. How could he not, after getting a taste of the legendary kissing skills of Roy Mustang? Roy was confident in is his ability to thoroughly captivate his prey – he had a solidly documented track record after all - and seeing this look on Ed's face was clear proof that even the former Fullmetal was not immune to Roy's charms.

But he could understand that Edward Elric of all people would have a hard time asking his former commanding officer out. Roy's ego would have loved to hear it, but he was a generous man and would make it easier for Ed.

"I´ll see you later? This evening?" He offered.

"Uhm… actually… No. I´ve got plans this evening."

Ouch.

Roy did his best to ignore the way his poor self-confidence had just been slammed face flat against a brick wall. Fine, if that was not what Ed was thinking about, what exactly was the man waiting for? Whatever it was, Ed's indecision had passed.

"But.. uhm… I´ll call you." This was getting worse and worse. Roy must have looked really pathetic to be on the receiving end of _that_ line.

It seemed that Ed was teetering on the brink of either bidding Roy a "Fuck off, Bastard," before he left, or offering a goodbye more appropriate for a lov- oh fuck. That was it. Just when the shorter alchemist muttered an uneasy 'bye' and turned to leave, Roy was hit with the realization that Ed had been unsure about whether or not he should _kiss_ him goodbye. It really was kind of sweet and adorable and … so absolutely _not_ like the Ed that had ravished Roy's mouth up in his apartment a short time ago. What the hell, was the man bipolar or something? If Ed wanted to kiss him, he should have done so. He knew the Colonel's reputation. The Flame was the last person anyone would expect to turn down a kiss from one of his dates. At least from one of the dates he hadn´t dumped yet.

A perfect opportunity - wasted.

Damn.

* * *

"Fuck me."

"I´d rather not." Hughes chuckled at the disbelieving glances and quickly saved the photos on the desk from getting burned by the half smoked cigarette that had fallen from its place between Havoc's lips when the man's jaw had dropped in shock.

"This doesn´t mean anything! You faked that!" Breda accused the man, but sounded so desperate, Hughes didn't feel obliged to respond.

Falman did. "This _is_ Edwards's apartment however. And that is clearly his couch," he pointed out. Glancing between the pictures, he added. "The pictures appear to have been taken from the fourth floor of the postal office across from Ed's building. With a very high qualitiy zoom lens, judging from the sharpness of the images."

Both Breda and Havoc sent a dirty look at the oldest member of their crew. Fuery hadn´t said one word from the moment he had laid eyes on the first picture, and most likely he wouldn´t. The man looked unbelievably discomfited.

The angle from which the pictures had been taken was not the best, the couch in question seen from behind, but it was fairly obvious what was going on. Roy and Edward, sitting on Ed's couch, very close together. Roy and Ed kissing. Ed in Roy's lap, the loose fitting bath robe slipping from one shoulder. No, the perspective was not the best, but it was good enough to give Szeska a nosebleed and force her to leave the room to tend to it. Hughes' spy had reported that something had stopped the pair from going any farther, and the moment it had been clear that nothing else would happen, the spy had sent the film to be developed.

Satisfied with the reactions his photographic evidence received, and with being able to shock the others into believing his theory, Hughes turned to the only person in the room who had yet to state her opinion. He was not surprised to find Riza flipping once again through the pictures. But the slight blush on her face had been replaced by a frown. A knock on the door had everyone look up.

"I´ve heard there's news?" Anticipation was clearly written in Denny's face and Maria didn´t even wait for the answer, simply taking a few of the photos from the desk.

A surprised whistle could be heard a second later.

"I didn´t know he had a thing for guys." Maria didn´t sound at all surprised, and most of the males in the room stared like deer in the headlights at the _appreciating_ sound of her voice. Fuery actually whimpered and Havoc loudly protested.

"He doesn´t." The blond lieutenant looked horrified at the thought that the Colonel could be interested in men.

"Why, because you´ve been with boner in his office?" Snickering, Breda clearly enjoyed his friend´s face turning white.

"Do tell." Maria looked up, interested.

"Could you stop that?" Denny begged as his partner began leafing through the photos again with an admiring smile, clearly creeping him out.

But she only sent him an innocent "What?" After a second, she added. "Oh, come on. It´s not as if all of you never tried out a few things with a guy. Or girl." The last line had Riza smiling and the men sharing glances.

Hughes coughed and forced the general attention back to the photos. "Let's leave all the teenage, academy, and other experiences, experimental and otherwise, aside." He smirked and shot a knowing glance at the cringing men in the room before he continued. "Let's return to the topic at hand. I have an announcement to make."

Maes cleared his throat and took a deep breath.

"I told you so!" he crowed.

Multi-voiced growling was the answer to that.

* * *

When Roy returned home, he was greeted by a smiling Sue, who wanted to 'check on him'. The woman had seen him in his underwear so often that it no longer bothered him to change clothes in front of her. He didn´t even protest when she checked his trousers the moment he was out of them. As a matter of fact, he ignored her completely, his thoughts returning to the man who had been sitting in his lap this morning.

As so often lately, Ed had been and done everything but what Roy expected of him. But the Colonel didn´t mind that his expectations had proven wrong. It was a welcome change to the predictable routine he was so used to, and he was greatly anticipating their next meeting, curious about how it would go.

Naturally Roy wanted to know more about what had happened in the young man's past, but what interested him even more was what would happen in the _future_. He had finally gotten a taste of what he wanted, and it was even more exhilarating than he'd expected. Just the thought of having the young man in his lap sent hot arousal straight to his groin and oh, he thought about it. He thought about it almost constantly. About the pressure, the rhythmic movement against his trapped arousal, about the hands stroking through his hair, the skillful tongue playing with his own, and about what could have, would have, happened. Damn, he wanted to fuck the man. Never mind this stupid bet. If Ed fucked the way he kissed, it would be worth it.

There was definitely more than just one fantasy Roy hoped the blond would help him fulfill. Knowing Ed, he was probably still training, and was likely as flexible as he had been back when they'd fought each other for their State recertification years ago. Roy quickly checked himself for drooling. No, still safe.

He finally acknowledged the High Inquisitor's presence when the woman confirmed his suspicion. Maes knew where Roy had been and what had happened. That´s why she had been sent. The investigations officer wanted to know if Roy had come from simply making out with Ed, however hot and heavy it had been. Roy felt insulted, but a tiny piece of his mind was already mocking him about how close he had been to coming just from _thinking_ about fucking Ed, never mind touching him.

Knowing how closely he was observed, Roy felt annoyed. The Colonel was tempted to throw Maes' control method out, but the woman was almost as persistent as the man who recruited her. However, when Sue dropped the hint that she had asked Maes to row her into the line of women the man wanted Roy to date, he felt like a car had hit him.

Dumbfounded he starred at her, but the only thing that ran through his mind was the question of how Ed would react if Roy suddenly went back to dating women.

Fuck.

Suddenly winning the bet was important again.

* * *

Despite the fact that he didn´t have to go to work, Roy found himself in front of his outer office, dressed in his uniform. He could hear his team talking inside, but the moment he stepped into the room, silence decended.

In addition to his own command, Denny Brosh and Maria Ross, as well as Maes Hughes, were present in Roy's outer office. Moving into the room, he noticed the objects of everyone's attention, the stack of photographs, lying innocently on Havoc's desk. His adversaries stared guiltily as the Colonel crossed the room. Roy barely noticed Havoc´s wince as he picked up the photos, and apprehension was thick in the air as all of them waited for his reaction. Roy felt no desire to lessen their anxiety. Instead he looked through the pictures, careful to keep his face stony and expressionless. Hughes would most likely be able to see through the façade. Maybe Hawkeye as well, but the rest would be kept on tenterhooks for as long as he could manage.

The majority of the photos were harmless. On some of them, the window reflected the light coming from a street lamp, completely obscuring the view inside the apartment. Others were taken before or after the two alchemists' little make out session. Roy was relieved to note that through that particular window, his embarrassing mistake in Ed's kitchen had not been visible. Thankfully, none of the pictures had caught him flying through the air or landing on the floor.

As for the rest of the photos however, it was more than clearly visible what had been going on. The photos became clearer as the photographer adjusted his angle, focus, and aperture for the low light and long distance. He'd certainly had more than enough time to improve the quality of his work. By the end of the stack, the photos were sharp and finely detailed.

And hot.

Roy had never seen himself photographed in such a situation. And most of the time, he had not been looking at Ed´s face. Now however, he had the opportunity to do exactly that. And damn, they really looked good together.

He was aware of his own good looks. He used them more than once to get what he wanted. There was simply no denying the fact that Roy Mustang was sexy beyond competition. It was a fact Roy had always been very self-confident about, and it was no wonder that so many women fell for him, despite his reputation as a love-them-and-leave-them kind of guy.

And yes, Ed was also good looking, even if Roy had originally found it difficult to separate the man from the brat he had once known. It had taken some time for Roy to get past that, but yes, he had finally acknowledged that Edward was indeed a very attractive man.

But _knowing_ and _seeing_ were two completely different things. The photos allowed him to view himself and the former Fullmetal in a more objective way. And god damn it, he liked what he saw. For the first time he became aware of how different they looked, their builds, their physiques, one pale, one tan, one midnight, one golden. But the contrast was not disturbing, it was stunning. Ed looked _right_, exactly where he was. Arms wrapped around Roy's shoulders, nuzzling his neck, or fingers carding through dark hair. Some pictures showed them kissing passionately. Another, and Ed had thrown his head thrown back, exposing that smooth, tanned throat. By the shift of positions, Roy could tell in which photos the man had ground his hips against the bulge in Roy's trousers. And what had been the reaction to it.

The pictures easily could have been placed in a porn magazine, despite the fact that both of them were more or less fully clothed, and nothing could be seen below mid back. But the atmosphere of those shots was full of sexual tension, desire, and raw lust, and the wanton, needy expressions on both their faces made the glossy images into fully qualified jerk-off-material. At least for people who got off on two guys together. If he had ever seen two men who badly wanted to fuck each other, this was it.

He needed to stop staring at the pictures. He needed to stop before his beginning arousal became visible either on his face or a good bit further down. He needed to stop thinking about what could have happened, and he needed to do so before he was forced to go find the man he saw now in his mind's eye, sitting in his lap, legs spread and humping the erection of his soon to be lover. Because if he did that, there was no way he would be able to hold to his wager and not fuck the blond. Which would also screw up his chances to ever do so again.

Because if he lost this bet, Roy would have to date women that Hughes chose for him, and there was no way Ed would consider letting Roy near him – or his ass for the matter - if he thought he was just another one night stand.

Plastering a smirk on his face, he turned to Maes and lifted the pictures so they were clearly visible.

"Mind if I keep these?"

"What?" The shocked question of the two blond men along with the redhead present drowned the sound of Hughes' chuckles.

"Go ahead. You know I´ve got the negatives stored out of your reach, don´t you?" The Investigations officer waved a hand and leaned back at the smirk coming from his friend. Yes, Mustang was aware of that fact. That meant he wanted to have those pictures. Interesting.

Even though Lieutenant Ross looked ready to order her own copies, silence was once again present as Roy neatly put the pictures back into a stack and even went so far as to snatch an envelope from Havoc's desk to put them in.

It was Havoc who finally broke the silence.

"Why did you steal all my girlfriends when you are _gay_?" No one commented on the lack of respect Jean showed by addressing his commanding officer in such a way. They might work as a team within the military, and Mustang might be the leader of that team, but they also trusted and cared for each other on a much deeper, personal level. And this discussion was on that personal level, off the record when it came to military procedure.

"Because I´m not," Roy said with a shrug.

Protest broke out from most of the other males in the room as they suspected being played for fools. The only man aside from Roy who was not adding to the noise was Hughes, who watched the scene amused. Both women didn´t seem to be interested in making fools out of themselves either. Riza had obviously already realized the same thing as Roy, and Maria Ross observed the scene just as entertained as Maes Hughes.

"Come on, Sir, there's the proof!" Breda pointed accusingly at the envelope.

The Colonel made a show of looking down at the white packet as if he hasn´t seen it before, then shrugged again.

Once again, loud voices rose, until this time Falman gained the speaker's role. "With all due respect, Sir, it´s obvious you are interested in sexual intercourse with another male. By definition that would make you gay."

Everyone winced at the salacious smirk they received. The smirk silently accused them all of far more than a casual interest in the proof of this 'interest in sexual intercourse', calling their sexuality into question as well. Falman remained unmoved as always under that accusing leer, Fuery buried his head back in his hands, embarrassed, while Havoc, Breda and Denny Brosh looked positively mortified at being caught looking at photographs of Roy and Ed's make out session. Denny's look of misery earned him a suppressed laugh from his partner.

"Stop acting like fools," Riza said calmly. "He´s not gay, he´s bisexual."

Although she had spoiled his fun, Roy sent a charming smile Riza´s way. Wasted, since there was absolutely no reaction to it. But he was grateful that she had stated the fact that he was _not_ _gay_, thank you very much. Not gay. Bisexual and gay was not the same.

"It doesn´t matter." Havoc rummaged through his desk and just a few seconds later, he slammed his copy of the bet contract on the table.

"You've lost, Sir! Pay up!"

**Tbc**.

* * *

So, once again the attention is back on the bet ^-^ I hope you liked it enough to let me know what you think ^^


	20. Plans for the future

**Beta/Co-Author: **Ca11iope. Thank you very much for doing this so fast even though Real Life is a b… again ^-^ *hug*

**Notice**:

"Speaking"

'Thinking'

"_Letters, reports etc...and…" _

_Memories & Flashbacks_

* * *

Catalog Cats: I love him as well XD he´s one of my favorite characters.

Lonely Soul 101: Roy sure is very open minded about his dating habits XD That's what got him into the trouble in the first place ^^ As for Ed, he´s not a child anymore, so as a young man, I think it´s natural for him to get in contact with this topic :D Thank you for the reviews, your comments are surely very accurate and fitting for the chapters XD

Black-klepton: I agree with you on the hair being one of the best things XD But there is probably quite a list XD Don´t worry about making lame comments ^^ I´m happy you´re reviewing and let me know what you like/dislike ^^ I won´t hold any 'lame' wordings against you ( It´s not like I found any XD or searched for them) Surely, one can´t say that making out is not a sexual act. It´s Havoc who claims the bet is won ^^ You can read what Roy says to that down here XDDD For Roy, finding himself in the 'bi'-category is certainly new XD For his team as well. But there will be more background information about our dear Colonels rare gay experiences in academy ^.~ And it´s not the lack of sleep oO I don´t see the connection between manga-drawing and german as well. Although there are quite a few manga/anime that have german words or influences, it doesn´t really have something to do with the drawing *shrug*

ELOSSS Alchemist: Yeah, there are pictures XD While I think a lot of readers would love to see them, Roy's team really struggles to get over it XDD I adore Hughes ^-^ And I´m excited the updates make you happy ^_^

PipsqueakMidget: ^.~ Then you´re lucky :D but let´s see what Roy has to say XD

xNeissax: Does it? Roy has his own say in the matter ^-^ He does of course honor his promise, but he´s not one to surrender without a fight XD Especially if it´s not worth it ;-P

AlistairAmor: XD Roy´s ego is still overwhelming and deserves it XD I´m happy you enjoyed Roy´s reaction and I´m curious what you will say to the rest of this discussion ^-^ I´m finally over the damn almost writers-block ._. Next chapter is already half done ^-^

Raigingstorm: Thank you, dear ^-^ Yes, they finally know about each others interest, but this doesn´t mean I will cut Roy some slack XD On the contrary, there are still some plans to torture Roy not fulfilled yet :D And you already noticed part of it ^.~ As for Havoc, he´s eager to win the bet and win it soon ^-^ After all, he has his own duties to fulfill XD

Terracannon876: No, Roy didn´t go all the way ^-^ You´re right about that. And Roy has of course his own say in the matter ^^

Natsukyi: Yes , it is ^-^ it also was a lot fun to write it. But that goes for this one as well XD I hope you enjoy it just as much as the last :D No, I don´t want to kill you, but I just adore cliffhangers (both reading and writing :D )

Breaking-Pandora: Good idea doing that ^^ It will help you answer the question if Roy lost XD Although I don´t support addiction, I think for yaoi fma-fics I might be willing to make an exception ;-P

Smiles13: You should ask Havoc XD Maybe he will be able to answer that ;D Roy´s opinion on the matter can be read down there, enjoy it ^^

Redchicken888: o.O I´m terribly sorry about the misunderstanding! *Bow* I meant you were correctly by assuming the sister-part ^^° I don´t want to spoiler you about the bets outcome, that would probably ruin it *blushes* Really, really sorry u.u

Answering the reviews is just part of being polite, I think it´s rude not to ^^ Just like letting someone who brings good news or a present standing out in the rain XD At some point the review-answering started to delay the updates, but now I keep track of them by answering the same day I read the reviews and I really enjoy reading what you think and of course answering to them ^^ Please don´t die =o You will need your nerves, I´m a big fan of cliffhangers and... this chapter… ^^° As I said: Don't die XD

KittyWoman13: I´m happy you do and I will try my best to update fast ^-^

XxKat-OF-ShadowsxX: You will find out ^.~ I´m happy to see you're rooting for Roy XD As for Hughes: Enjoy the chapter XD

Sachiel Angelo: Well, the bets condition do include a few restrictions, but let´s talk about that after this chapter ^.~

MackIntosh-14: I think it´s well deserved :D And I will do my best to torture the guy as long as I can. But that´s for fun alone XD

o-Jeff-o: XD Did I mention that I adore Hughes? I´m excited you liked the reaction of Roys crew. From what I wrote, I think you knew they would find it out ^.~ If you wonder about Ed´s reaction now, I´m curious what you say when this chapter is over XD Roy is really a bastard XD But he didn´t deny the gay-part just for fun. Well, mostly for fun, but he does value the part of him that still has a thing for woman ^^

Il have to saw, you´re getting a rather good intuition for this fic :D

Fnick's Witness: XD It´s nice to read you enjoyed it so much ^-^ Thank you for letting me which parts you liked the best ^.^ I adore detailed comments XD

You´re very welcomed in regards to the almost kill and I will do my best to try for another one ^.~ I´d be curious to know what you and some others would do with the pictures XD Despite making posters out of them XD I had fun including the girls as yaoi-fangirl. After all, we do have some in the real world, why shouldn´t some women in a story don´t enjoy some nice yaoi-material as well? ^.~

You´ve got a HavocRoy fangirl in you? Nice to know, the world needs more of those ;-D And I´d be happy if he got some who are able to draw and/or write XD

As or the 'lost' bet: enjoy the chapter ^.~

The Curse of Forever: XD Soon… as in how many days left till the bet is over? Once again, the bet is important again ^^ And of course it will be used to torment the Colonel XD

SoraSlayer: I agree, they do. I noticed it on many fanarts ^-^

Ilreies: Oi *blush* Thank you very much! I´m happy you enjoy the story so much ^.^ I think at least a few questions will be answered in this chapter, but probably more created XD

Mochiusagi: The poor guy who cut Ed´s hair the last time… Let´s just say there is something Ed hadn´t said about that incident, but of course you will hear about that later on ^.~

* * *

**The Bet of the Year**

**Chapter 19: Plans for the future**

"I fail to see where I haven´t kept up with my part of this bet's conditions."

The statement was answered with both disbelieving glances, raised eyebrows and even one outraged cry from Roy's adversaries.

"You can´t deny it, Sir, there's the proof -" Havoc was interrupted as his commander took the contract from his hand.

"-of me kissing Ed?" Roy flipped through the neatly stapled pages, one eyebrow lifted. "According to this very detailed agreement, kissing is not against the rules," Roy stated, silencing Jean effectively.

"Oh come on, Sir!" Breda cut in. "You and Ed weren't just kissing!"

Putting on his superior officer face, Roy once again scanned the contract. "Your evidence shows kissing, and nothing more," Roy pointed out as he read. "On the mouth, and on the neck, and, if I remember correctly, on the collar. No lower. There is certainly nothing to suggest either of us gave the other a blowjob. Sadly."

The last admission caused a few jaws to drop, and even Hughes blinked. Clearly, this was getting uncomfortable for some of the men. But they had started down this road, and if this was the way they wanted to play it, Roy would see to it that this went much farther than they were willing to go. Roy's adversaries had elected to spy on him, and even went so far as to take pictures of him during a private moment. They had no grounds to object to his answering their accusations with brutal honesty. By the time this was over, he would make sure that they regretted this underhanded tactic.

The Colonel continued to verify the rules, and his compliance with them. "Groping. Not allowed. Ed has one fine ass and I'm really looking forward to groping it when this bet is over -" At this point Havoc winced, Fuery looked ready to faint, and both Maria Ross and Denny Brosh stared at Roy in amazement. "- but these pictures don´t show any groping in that area, or of any other body parts for that matter. Oh, that's a nice one," Roy said with a smirk, continuing to read. "Humping. Frankly I never expected Ed to move like that in my lap. He's amazingly flexible. However, he was the one doing all the humping." That one broke even Riza´s stoic face and she actually blushed, along with the three people in the room who were not a regular part of Roy's team. The rest squirmed uncomfortably in their seats.

"But it was a very enjoyable experience, as you all seemed to have noticed." Roy's mocking glance was directed at the men who seemed to be the most embarrassed about this fact. "Can´t wait to see him do that without the clothes."

"Uhm… Sir? Could you stop that?" This was definitely not something Denny wanted to hear, although his partner elbowed him in the ribs, much to Roy's amusement.

The Colonel returned his gaze to the document in his hand. "So, although there was dry humping involved, that was on Ed's part, and you can´t make me responsible for another man's action." Here the Colonel paused, thoughtfully. "Well, I suppose you could if I had gotten off on it, but I´m sure your alchemist watchdog has already informed you that that was not the case." This time, his eyes met Maes Hughes', who only nodded. Oh no, the bastard was not getting off that easy. "Now, let's be reasonable. You've all gone out of your way to pull some very dirty tricks in order to win this bet. Surely you don't mean to declare my loss based on the actions of another. In that case you could just go ahead and grope my dick yourself and call the bet won." There, that had finally put Maes off balance, and the man's eyes went wide as he stared at Roy.

"Dear god, Sir! Do you have to be so . . descriptive about all this?" Havoc mirrored Fuery's movement and buried his head in his hands, clearly not wanting to visualize what Roy had just suggested.

But the Colonel was far from done.

"Why, Lieutenant? You're the one who wanted to go over the bet´s condition." Sadistic glee was obvious in Roy's tone, and his team realized with horror that he planned to defend himself over ever single prohibited sexual practice described in the bet's conditions - in detail.

The Colonel did take pity on his most loyal subordinate, who had yet to challenge him. Fuery was sent on an errand, and thus spared Roy's casually observation that vaginal penetration is not possible with another male, though he would be sure to take advantage of anal and oral penetration once the bet's term was completed. He commented on some activities he thought neither he nor Ed would enjoy, but also pointed out a few erotic positions that he did think Edward was more than flexible enough to attempt.

Roy outright lied about never being tempted to put his dick into an inanimate object. He _had_ been so inclined, briefly, but wrote the urge off as a side effect of the forced abstinence he had to endure because of the bet. As far as Roy was concerned, that incident would remain buried deep down in the farthest parts of his consciousness and never see daylight again. He did not betray himself by skipping over this condition of the bet however. Instead, he brushed over it as an absurdity not worth considering, and moved on to more pleasurable points, allowing himself to elaborate as he felt necessary.

The Colonel went on for some time, for example, when considering whether or not bondage was an option, and how far Ed might be likely to go. Roy finally concluded that yes, he was quite sure Ed would allow himself to be handcuffed, blindfolded, or both. Then he expounded the virtues of erotic role-play with the young man, since it offered so many provocative possibilities. It would also be worth the considerable effort required to convince Edward, as a former 'dog of the military', to wear a dog collar. The young man was rather prideful, and would certainly balk at the idea, but the thought of Ed on a leash was too tempting to ignore.

Which brought to mind another of Ed's personality traits had great potential for a favorite kink. Edward certainly wasn't one to care about other people's opinion of him. He was so unmindful of public opinion in fact, that Roy believed Ed wouldn't be against the idea of engaging in acts of passion in public places where they could be caught in the act. At least not once he reached a certain state of arousal.

By this time even Hawkeye had surrendered, eyes locked on the paperwork stacked neatly on her desk, blushing darkly. It was a rather well known fact that the woman viewed Roy as a sort of dopey older brother, and no one ever wanted to imagine a sibling going at it. And certainly not going at it in public places.

When Roy announced that he would have to ask the former Fullmetal if he was willing to wear leather overknee-boots in bed, as he suspected Ed was one of the few males who would look good in them, even Hughes had lost his composure. Head down on Havoc's desk, Roy's best friend did his best to stifle a groan. The constant bombardment of explicit descriptions surrounding what he was not currently allowed to do with Ed as outlined by the bet took its toll. Judging from faces either deathly pale or blushing furiously, it appeared that his subordinates had reached a state of gay sex overload.

Unfortunately however, the members of his team were not the only ones affected by Roy's eloquent graphic imagery. The Colonel himself needed all his willpower to concentrate on sounding professional and casual, and not to actually think about doing what he was talking about. But fuck, once the bet was over, he sure as hell would have a detailed list to work through. And as much fun as messing with his subordinates' heads was, Roy prayed that Ed would absolutely, positively _never_ find out about this little speech, because if he did, Roy could kiss his list goodbye. And his gonads too, no doubt.

When he finally finished his erotic lecture, the Colonel twisted the knife a little, asking if there were any comments or questions, inviting a rebuttal of his defense. Receiving no answer, he smirked a victory smirk. "In that case, are we clear that I did not in fact lose the bet?"

"Fuck, that´s cheating." Havoc whined, still unable to look his commander in the eye.

"After the underhanded stunts you all have pulled Lieutenant Havoc, I don´t think you should be criticizing me about bending or stretching the rules," Roy stated, and after shooting each other guilty glances, the rest of Roy's adversaries grudgingly nodded their agreement.

"Fine, you haven't lost the bet. Yet." Hughes drummed his fingers on the multi-paged contract thoughtfully. "But I have to inform you, even though I'm relieved that you avoided describing some of the more disgusting perversions prohibited by the contract, you are still officially a pervert."

Smirking proudly, Roy felt absolutely no desire to argue against the truth.

* * *

After no one dared to voice any more protests, the Colonel left his command to wallow in their defeat, obviously highly amused by the way the men in the room winced whenever he looked their way. Maria Ross and Denny Brosh slunk out to return to their assigned duties, happy to leave Maes and Roy's staff behind. The office was quiet as Roy turned on his heel and walked into his inner office, and remained so until the door clicked shut behind him. That small sound was greeted with disgruntled muttering.

"Why the heck did you let him off the hook?" Jean growled at Maes, still unable to cope with the revelation they just received from their usually _womanizing_ commanding officer.

"I didn´t." The bespectacled man stated.

"But you pretty much gave him a free pass to do just about anything he feels like doing, as long as he doesn't… uh fuck, I don´t even want to think about the Colonel doing any of the stuff he said he would do." Wincing, Havoc quickly reached for his cigarettes, only to remember that he'd chain smoked the last three while Roy was outlining what he'd like to do to Ed in the backseat of a military car – driven by either Havoc or Riza. The pack was empty.

"As long as he doesn´t come. Exactly." Hughes finished. Grinning widely, the investigations officer appeared perfectly capable of stomaching the thought of his best friend fucking a man.

"Lieutenant Havoc." Despite everything, Hawkeye was still able to maintain her cool professionalism. "Lieutenant Colonel Hughes makes a very good point. It makes no difference to whom or how he wants to . . . do things. The more the Colonel is allowed to do, the more likely it will be that he will get to the point where he is unable to prevent what he is _not_ allowed to do."

Blinking, Havoc tried to follow that train of thought. Breda helped him out by putting it bluntly.

"So, you think if he is allowed to make out, he will be tempted to go farther and farther, until finally he reaches the point of no return, and looses the bet." Nodding slowly the redhead could see this making sense. "It´s like giving a starving man a single bite of his favorite dessert, and then placing the rest in front of him." No one commented on the fact that Heymans had related the situation to food. They all knew the man was not as hoggish as most people thought. He just liked sweets.

"Yeah, but with all that stuff we pulled - spoon feeding him didn´t work. You can´t tell me we didn´t tempt him. Hell, _I_ was tempted!" Grumbling, Havoc leaned back and stared at the contract as if the paper might jump up and attack him at any moment.

"It´s just a matter of time till he loses. He´s dating Ed and I can´t see the boss being patient with anything, let alone this." Breda lifted one of the pictures off the stack and displayed it. Ed, smoldering eyes half lidded, one arm thrown over Roy's shoulder, his hand running through the older man's dark hair. "If you were making out this heavy with a woman, would you want to put it on hold? Or would you want to get her into the sack as soon as possible?"

"Ed and the Colonel are not women." Havoc pointed out and Breda sighed.

While Riza seemed to have enough patience to deal with Jean's gay problem, Breda didn't. It wasn't even that Havoc was homophobic, but seemed to actually be a struggle to grasp the concept that Roy Mustang, the man who had been stealing his girlfriends for years, wanted to do the nasty with none other than Edward Elric. As far as Jean was concerned, yesterday everything had been business as usual, the Colonel was straight, and the only thing Roy might have chased after in regards to Ed would have been either the blond's brains or the possibility of getting Ed to do the Colonel's dirty work. Definitely not his ass. Today it seemed like the sky was falling. The Colonel gay? Was water still wet?

Breda sympathetically patted his blond colleague's shoulder as Hawkeye insisted that it didn´t really matter who turned the Colonel on, as long as someone did. Porn magazines, miniskirts, and aphrodisiacs had not worked. Maybe Ed would.

"There's something else we should consider here," Hughes added, pointing to the stack of pictures. "He can say whatever he wants, but this was a really close call. Someone who wants to keep it in his pants wouldn't be doing stuff like that. So either Roy is willing to risk losing the bet for Ed, or his self control is finally breaking. It's also possible that he is worn so far down that this could have happened with anybody."

"Or it´s really Ed he wants to screw that badly," Breda pointed out, much to the misery of the blond man next to him.

"We need to know for sure." Riza said, ready to begin planning their next step.

"Yeah, we can just go ahead and tell Ed that the next lapdance on the Colonel's boner should be naked." Well, sarcasm was certainly a step in the right direction for Havoc, if he was going to get used to this situation, so an annoyed glance from Hawkeye was all the punishment he received for the jab.

"Havoc has a point," Breda mused. "The girls were easy. We told them what to do, and sent them into the Colonels office. It won't be so easy with Ed. In all the years I've known him, the boss had never followed an order. And I´ve never seen him… uhm… like that…" he pointed at the pictures and it was clear to all of them what Breda was driving at. The Edward they all knew had always acted as if he had no idea that there was something going on between the birds and bees. "So I think the direct approach would be a mistake. We can´t just go ahead and tell Ed that we need him to seduce his former superior officer. Damn, that sounds so wrong."

Breda gave his head a quick shake to clear it, and the rest of the room just nodded in understanding. No one had ever seen the side of the blond alchemist now revealed on glossy paper. The volatile young man was a wild card in this game. Whose side would he be on? Apparently he was interested in riding the Mustang. Was that all he wanted? If this was a casual fling, would Ed be agreeable to sabotaging the Colonel's battle plans, or would he side with Mustang against the rest of his staff? Or, more likely still, would he react in a totally unexpected and unpredictable manner?

Silence settled over the room, until Hughes' spoke again. "I think we should play it safe. I think it would be too risky to ask Ed to help us outright, but we can increase the frequency of their meetings. It they are as hot of each other as it appears, that might be all we need to do." The rest of the crew nodded their agreement with this plan, and Maes continued, "I don't think we have to hide the fact that we know about them though," he said thoughtfully. "It might work to our advantage if Ed knows that we know."

"How so?" Breda asked with a frown. "The Boss is a pretty private person. If we start winking and nudging him about Mustang, he might back off."

"Yeah right," Havoc snorted. "I've never seen the Boss back down from anything."

"And this is Ed and Roy we are talking about," Maes cut in. "They've never understood each other. Maybe Ed would be open to some friendly advice with regard to getting Roy into his bed."

The rest of the people in the room stared at the man.

"Are you serious?" Riza said, eyes wide. She hoped Hughes was joking. Reaching for her weapon, she continued. "Surely you aren't suggesting that we use Edward like he's a... a..."

"Whoa, slow down!" Maes lifted his hands in surrender. "Of course I don't see Ed that way! But this is Roy we are talking about. For him, it´s about sex and nothing else. Ed is not stupid. He would know that as well." As Riza paused, contemplating, the Lieutenant Colonel took a deep breath and elaborated. "Look at their history. Those two could never stand each other. They share a grudging mutual respect for each other's alchemic abilities, and that's about it. So there is no way they are attracted to each other as more than bed partners. If Roy won´t do it because of the bet, then Ed really would benefit from our help. Roy caves. Ed gets laid. They get this out of their systems, and everything returns to normal. Except that Roy has lost the bet."

They had to admit, the investigations officer made a solid case. But Hawkeye still felt that there was a point they needed to discus.

"What if Ed does want more?" the woman asked. "He's no Roy Mustang. I just can´t see him as the type of person who sleeps around. Edward may not be stupid, but he is certainly quite oblivious when it comes to romantic matters. Our interference wouldn´t be fair to Ed if he really expects more from this."

"Yeah, the chief doesn´t need to get his first broken heart from the Colonel," Jean said, grimacing at the sentimentality, "Sure, Mustang breaks hearts for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, but I don't want to be part of that. And if we push Ed into this, we'll be just as responsible as the Colonel."

That was a sobering thought. Each and every person in the room had lived through that kind of pain, and knew how bad it could be. They had known Ed since he was twelve years old, and had seen him grow up. They considered Edward Elric a close friend. For most of them, he was like a bratty little brother, and none of them wanted to see him hurt, let alone be partially to blame for it.

"I don't think that would happen. Ed may be oblivious, but Roy isn´t," Hughes pointed out. "He may spend more time in other beds than his own, but Roy would never lead someone on. There is no way he would leave Ed in the dark about his sexual motives. You all heard him just now, talking through his sexual fantasies. Those weren't the words of a man in love. He just wants to have a little fun and that's all. I don´t think he's told Ed otherwise. Roy is not like that."

For a few minutes the three officers of Mustangs team exchanged glances. All of them knew that what Maes had just stated was fact. And they also knew that the Investigations officer cared about both Roy and Ed as much as they did.

"Alright then…" Riza took out her pencil, ready to sketch out their battle plan against Roy Mustang. "What exactly do you have in mind?"

* * *

Roy was distracted. He was so distracted in fact, that he had to sort through his paperwork so he would not cause much damage by signing something important without thinking about the content.

The dark-haired alchemist had not been able to get Edward out of his mind. The way he had moved on his lap. The seductive sound of his moan. The images he himself had created with his speech in the outer office. More than ever before, he wanted to screw Ed. And more than ever before, he knew he could not allow himself a single moment of weakness, because he could not lose this bet. Screwing Ed would have to wait, or he would screw up his chances with Ed altogether.

His situation now was much more tantalizing than before the make out session this morning, because of one simple fact: he now knew that he _could_ fuck Ed. And that made all the difference.

There could be no more pretending that they couldn´t stand each other, that Ed was not interested in sex, or not interested in sex with Roy. The proof to the contrary was neatly stacked in an envelope in the inside pocket of the Colonel's military jacket.

And seated deep in his mind.

Leaning back, Roy stared at the ceiling. He was in deep shit here. On one hand, he had the damn bet, which he couldn't afford to lose. On the other, he had Ed, who was going to wonder why Roy had suddenly changed his mind about getting physical. And he did _not_ want the blond to find out about the bet. The general had taken enough abuse, thank you very much. Roy needed a plan. He had to analyze the situation and assess all possible courses of action.

He was doomed.

No matter how he played this, Roy could only see one inevitable conclusion to the shit storm that was on the horizon. He could try to avoid Ed for the next two weeks – a tactical error, as that would leave it up to Edward to make the next move. The way Ed had kissed him up in his apartment, and the fact that he had contemplated doing the same as a goodbye, was a clear indication that sooner or later, the blond would take the initiative and hunt Roy down, either to take up where they had left off, or for an explanation of Roy's evasive behavior. Given the younger man's impatient nature, Roy figured he had two days before that confrontation, maybe a day or two longer if Roy came up with some plausible excuses not to meet. And the only thing this would accomplish would be giving Ed the impression that he had been played, or that Roy was no longer interested, thus discouraging the other alchemist from taking the initiative later, when the bet was done and Roy was free to indulge.

Status: Still doomed.

Roy had to choose between two evils: try to avoid Ed for the reminder of the bet, or continue to see Ed but avoid touching him. Neither option was likely to work, but the first was the least attractive, mainly because it took control of the situation out of Roy's hands. Letting the other man set the pace went totally against Roy's nature. The Colonel preferred to dictate the way his relationships, or rather his dates, progressed. Dates, because he'd never really had an actual relationship before. Still, he wanted to be in control. He was a man after all. And okay, Ed was not female, but Roy was older, more experienced and… just used to leading the way.

Staring into nothing, Roy's mind once again came to the conclusion that this was not going to work. Continuing to see Ed would allow Roy to dictate the pace of the relationship. But he would be pulled in two directions, influenced either by his need to fuck the man, or by his desire to win the bet so he could fuck the man more than once.

Maybe letting Hawkeye shoot him was not such a bad idea after all. But that would mean not getting to fuck Edward at all, so it wasn´t really an alternative.

Making up his mind, Roy realized he couldn´t let Ed take control of the situation. Whenever Edward Elric has been granted so much as the tiniest bit of freedom by Roy Mustang, it had always ended it disaster. Leveled buildings, destroyed cities, collapsed bridges, burst dams, hell, you name it, and the kid could trash it. Roy grimaced just thinking about the length of the list of disasters he'd had to deal with while Edward had been under his command.

Granted, the blond had matured, but there was still the potential for this to end in disaster. But this time a few loads cum, one year worth of match making, paperwork, and playing date service hung in the balance. Yes, plural on the ejaculation. No one could expect from him to fuck the man just _once_ if he lost this bet. Even if all he had was one night, Roy would take whatever he got, and if he was lucky, maybe he could fuck both of them into coma for twelve months and the problem would solve itself.

* * *

It took Roy a disturbingly long time to finish his paperwork. Both the fact that he had skipped the morning hours of his shift, and thinking constantly about alternatives to his plan instead of the reports on his desk had slowed him down. But he had found no better approach to the situation, despite how uncomfortable he felt about giving up some his beloved control.

When the Colonel finally returned home that evening, eager to cross out the next number on his calendar, he was met with a surprise sitting on his doorstep. A tired and miserable surprise, that obviously had not known where to look for Roy after office hours, and had clearly not wanted to go anywhere else.

But when he finally laid eyes on Mustang, the blond young man smiled relieved, and despite the fact that the older alchemist must have looked as exhausted as he felt while doing so, Roy found himself returning the smile. The Colonel didn't know what it was, but the young man in front of him always had that effect on people.

Quickly abandoning the luggage standing on the steps to Roy's front door, the blond alchemist stood up from his place next to it to greet the Colonel politely.

"Good evening, Sir."

"Good evening, Alphonse."

**Tbc. **

* * *

Soo… what do you think? ^-^


	21. Investigations and desires

**Beta/Co-Author: **Ca11iope ^^Once again, thank you for the awesome work ^^

**A/N:** ^_^ I have something to brag about XD For all of you, who want to enjoy a fanart of poor, tortured Havoc: Bazooka-Banzai was kind enough to draw one ^-^ The link can be found in my profile. (Which will now be updated more often, to keep you on track about the progress ^^) If you enjoy the art as much as I did, please take some time and leave a review for the artist.

**Notice**:

"Speaking"

'Thinking'

"_Letters, reports etc...and…" _

_Memories & Flashbacks_

* * *

Inky-Shadow: XD The answer to this question is down here in this chapter ^^ enjoy.

Mochiusagi: Yes, it could ^^ Doesn´t mean it will. We´ll see about that ^.~ I´m sorry I didn´t update soon ._.

Tmmdeathwishraven: Oh yes, he is XD He has a reputation, after all ^.~ I´m curious about what exactly 'made a you cring' XD As for your confusion: sorry ._. I thought it was clear who is on the bet and who´s not, but obviously, it´s not. Officially, it´s a bet between Roy and the three H´s (Hughes, Havoc, Hawkeye). Inofficially, a lot more people are betting and some are just curious about the outcome. Among the people who are betting, some try to 'cheat' – like Breda with his 'encouragement'- but most are just watching and awaiting Mustangs defeat (or win) XD Now, Fuery is just unfortunate enough to share the office with two of the three H's and one of the people who are inofficially betting, like Breda. Therefore, he stays informed, but he doesn´t participate in the bet ^^ If I didn´t explain it right or there are still questions left, please just send me a message. Just to save other readers from scrolling through my attempts to explain things properly ^^°

As for your language: Your really don´t need to apologize for that XD There are more 'fucks' and similar colorful words in this fic, I really don´t mind you using a few ^^°

Ilreies: XDD I don´t think Roy wants to find out how Ed would react ^^ But I would say, it would at least be interesting. XD That much is sure ^^ I know it´s mean, but leaving questions open at least makes the story interesting, so I hope you can forgive me ^.~

Black-klepton: XD Poor(?) guy ^^ I hope some of the doujins can be found in the net ;-P (I´m just glad you found some sleep -.- even if I wished it was more. Hopefully by now you managed to catch up ^^)

Roy is and always will be a pervert ^^ And we can all admit it: we love him for that XD Even if his team doesn´t ^^° (I'd like see that list being done as well XD) As for Ed being used to make Roy lose the bet…^_^ You´ll see how that will work out soon ^.^ I wondered no one guessed yet what will happen XD But your guess about Ed making things more complicated is definitely true ^^

Catalog Cats: XDD Happy you enjoy Roy´s team and the additions being tortured (Although I doubt Maria would call it torture ^.~) At least the most of them totally deserved it ^-^ I think you did mention that you love Al, but really, it can´t be said often enough, so feel free to repeat yourself XD

The Curse of Forever: ^_^ If you have a part for every option you consider, than part of you might be right… just don´t ask me which one XD

SachielAngelo: Awww *pat* there will be more on Ed´s lover ^^ In a later chapter XD Sorry for tormenting you u.u But spilling all secrets at once might be just boring for the reader ^^ No fun in that XD

ILoveFrenchFries: So far, Ed has not been participating in the bet actively and doesn´t know about it. However, since Roy wants to sleep with him, Hughes plans to use this for his advance to make Roy lose the bet ^^ Everything else will be answered in later chapters ^^

AlistairAmor: Yay for Al ^^ I couldn´t wait to get him in, even if I have to admit that he´s probably difficult to keep IC ^^° But I like Al. This story couldn´t do without Al :D Your feeling about things becoming interesting if Ed finds out about the bet is probably right ^^ If he doesn´t find out about the speech XD

Now, about Havoc: He´s developing into yet another character I love to torture XD So of course, his romantic life will have to suffer even more :D

As for calling you crazy: I certainly won´t do that ;-D

o-Jeff-o: ^^ I´m happy you enjoyed the last one so much :D But no dying please, that would be a shame ^^ As for what Roy´s crew is going to do: Hughes announced it already and he even started on his plan already ^.~ Without Roy knowing about it :P Sorry for the little misguiding about Al and Ed ^^ That was just too tempting ^^ But it´s nice to read Al is so warmly welcomed ^^

SlystherinGurl: XD Although I´m happy the chapters are worth the wait for you, I´m sorry it´s taking so long u.u Even more so with all the cliffhangers u.u But they are just too tempting ^^°

XxKat-OF-ShadowsxX: XD Oh yes, he does. Very deep ^^ Sorry, I gave you more time to sigh that intended u.u The good thing about Ed being stuck with Roy: At least he will take care of Roy's ego and prevent it from getting even bigger ._.

ShadowsofRegret: thank you very much ^^ I´m excited you enjoy the story so much ^_^

Redchicken888: you´re welcome ^^ Hope you´ve been happy with this mail as well xD Hopefully, you didn´t drop anything that´s breakable ;-P And please, no worries about me stopping to write. As long as I have my beta, I will update ^^ It was indeed a close call ^^ And you´ve got a point about the perverts in the office XD I guess they consider it "investigations" that are purely professional ^^

Kurohika: Sorry for the little misguiding ^^ I couldn´t resist XD But yes, Al is here ^.^

Fnick's Witness: XD Nice description. Yes, that part with the banging the dude might cause some problems. But we´ll see about that ^.~ and the offer to drive the car is appreciated XD It´s not pathetic *patpat* I assure you, you just wrote what the most where thinking ^.~ About Havoc: it´s getting funny torturing him XD Which means there will be more of it :D

Kawaii-Chibi666: Ah, yes…. *cough* the ring XD Uhm… ^^° At least I answer the questions about Al this chapter ^^ And there will be more information as well as more tormenting the charas in the future :D

Proser132: ^^ Yes, you can bet XD Feel free to make a guess ^^ I asked for some at the beginning of the story and what the readers didn´t know: after the fics ends, there will be a price ;-P I´m not sure if it would be fair to include a guess after more than half of the bet is over, but I always love to hear a guess ^.~ I´m happy you like Al finally becoming part of the story ^^ And thank you for those delightful reactions toward the Roy and Maes XD They both deserved what they got ^^ (The line about Roy made me laugh XD That's so true :D )

Hawkpath13: Uhm… about the writing soon… sorry u.u Long wait again ._. I know it´s mean, but I´m happy some people fell for the Al/Ed-confusion XD I just like plans working out and playing around XD

Raigingstorm: Yes, it´s been time Roy get´s a win ^^ So far, only Havoc suffered through revenge, but with last chapter it´s a bit more even XD And of course, both sites won´t stop here ^-^ So yes, there is a lot more of pain coming for Roy, you´re right about that ^^

Alilicious53: Oh dear god o.O Uhm…. thank you ^^ *blush* You are too kind, there are a lot of awesome stories out there, but I´m really happy you enjoy this one so much :D

Cynder81: XD Don´t worry, Roy is aware of the spy on his heels ;-P After all, our dear Colonel is a strategist as well ^.~ One intended to get his own share of fun XD

Deceitfullystairless: Uhm… sorry for the long wait ^^ I´m impressed you read through all of them at one go XD Didn´t think people would still be able to do that ^^ The chapters may be short but by now they are twenty of it :D I´m happy you liked the story enough to do that XD Thank you for the kind words ^^ I will try my best to keep the work up as fast as I can ^- ^

Le Petit Usagi: Oh yes, I love writing ^^ And I´m happy you enjoy the reading. At least, after your review it didn´t take long to update, so I´ve got hopes you didn´t have to wait long ^^

* * *

**The Bet of the Year**

**Chapter 20: Investigations and desires**

"I´m really sorry for the inconvenience," Al said, shuffling his feet as he stood by the fireplace.

The younger man was obviously tired, but Roy practically had to force him to consider spending the night on his couch. The younger Elric had always been reluctant to impose, generally uncomfortable with asking for or accepting help. In fact, Roy suspected that Alphonse had only taken the support that Roy and his team had offered in his search for Edward because his desperation to find his brother had overridden his natural inclination to avoid being burdensome.

"It´s not an inconvenience," the Colonel assured him, and despite the fact that finding Alphonse on his doorstep had really surprised him, Roy wasn´t lying when he said, "You´re always welcome here."

It wasn´t the first time Roy had told the youngster that. That simple statement was met, as always, with a shy smile of gratitude.

Al's sudden appearance had thrown Roy off balance. It worried him, wondering what could have moved the younger Elric to travel all the way to Central. Not that the Colonel would allow his unease to show. He didn´t manage to completely hide his chagrined blush when Al voiced his confusion about the fact that Roy had not received the letter he had mailed earlier that week, letting the Colonel know that he was coming. Roy busied himself preparing the couch, and was sure Alphonse had not noticed his embarrassment. Sadly, Roy couldn´t remember exactly when he had last sorted through his personal mail. Between the bet and Edward, he had been far too preoccupied for such mundane routines, but that was no excuse. As an ambitious Colonel, it was simply unacceptable to leave his personal paperwork unattended for so long.

While the Colonel planned to look through the stack of unopened mail in his study as soon as he was alone, the young man filled him in on why he was currently standing in Roy's living room. The woman who had been found with Alphonse the day Edward had disappeared, and who Alex Armstrong had talked to on Roy's behalf, had promptly called the younger Elric and Winry in Resembool to inform them that someone was trying to get information about what had happened all those years ago. Roy glumly noted that Al wasn't even sure if his brother was currently in Central or not, and it soon became obvious that the blond alchemist was actually here to see Roy himself. Desperate enough to grasp at straws, Alphonse' reluctance to ask for help had finally crumbled, and he was once again turning to his brother's former superior. Al knew that through Alex Armstrong, Roy was looking for information about Edward, and the young man clearly hoped that Roy would be willing to share anything that he might have discovered.

With the couch finally made up, the young blond huddled into the blankets and pillows, his fingers wrapped around a cup of hot chocolate, looking as miserable as the wet kittens he had once hidden in his armor to save them from the pouring rain. But despite his state, emotionally worn down and desperate to an extent that probably would shock Ed if he knew about it, the young alchemist's mind still as sharp as ever.

"You don´t seem very surprised to discover that my brother has refused to tell me anything about what happened to us, or to him, Sir." Alphonse stated as he lifted the cup to his lips. But instead of drinking, he sighed.

Roy took a moment to collect his thoughts, and find his balance, before answering. This was a very delicate situation, and the older man had to handle it as tactfully as he could, otherwise he would be damaging his relationship with at least one Elric tonight, if not both.

"Ed has visited with me a few times," he finally said.

"And he talked to you. About us. And what happened." Al watched Roy's slow nod and frowned. "No offense, Colonel, but I don´t understand how he can talk to _you_ but not to me. He's _my_ brother."

Roy kept his grimace internal. No offence? Unfortunately, there was plenty, but not on Roy's part. It was obvious the young alchemist seated on his couch was more than just a little offended, and would be no matter who Ed chose to talk to, as long as it was not Alphonse. And Alphonse was looking at Roy in disbelief, obviously wondering how Edward could open up to his former commanding officer, when it was a well know fact that the two irritated each other to the point that simply being in the same room together for any length of time could lead to bloodshed and destruction. For a moment Roy felt like banging his head against the wall. He couldn't even blame Ed for the situation he was in right now. Well okay, he could. But Ed was not here, and that left Roy to ease Alphonse's distress. That meant Roy would have to fill Al in on his brother's current relationship with his former commander.

"Your brother and I-" Roy stared into wide eyes filled with hope and innocence... "-are…" Al looked years younger than his brother. Too young. "-researching fire alchemy together."

It would probably be better to take this one small step at a time. One tiny bit of information followed by another. Just to soften the blow. Roy had no problem speaking bluntly, elaborately, and at length in front of his staff, but this? He couldn´t just blurt out to sweet, innocent Alphonse that he wanted to shove his hard dick up _his_ _brother's_ ass and fuck the man in every position they could manage, on every piece of furniture that could stand the strain, and in every possible place even at the risk of being arrested for public indecency.

Considering the disbelieving look he earned for just that tiny snip of information, small steps were definitely a good idea.

"We´ve manage to…" What? Work out their problems? Actually, there haven´t even been any problems, they had just excelled at getting on each other's nerves. "-get past our differences." Whatever those 'differences' had been.

Al's single raised eyebrow expressed his remaining skepticism. Roy poured on the sincerity.

"And we are working very well together." Which was also one hell of an understatement considering what had happened that morning. "In fact, I think it safe to say that we have developed a mutual respect for each other's talents." And he wasn't just talking about alchemy.

"Oh, Colonel! That´s _wonderful_!" Bouncing gleefully just like child in front of his birthday cake, Al looked more than just pleased. "Thank you, I know brother is too stubborn to have made the first step, so it had to be you who was mature enough to do so."

Of course Al could only know about Roy and Edward's mutual dislike from stories he had heard, his memory of those days lost, but obviously Ed had been just as hard-headed as a child. Then Roy recalled exactly how mature _he_ had been acting lately, and in what way, and tried not to wince. Or feel like a jerk.

"You really don´t need to thank me," Roy told the boy, and honestly, he really, really didn´t. After all, it had been Roy's intention to use Al's brother for his own purposes, first as a substitute date to make the bet easier for him – ironic, how that had worked out – and now to get into Ed´s pants. No, Al really shouldn`t be thanking him for anything. "Your brother is taking time out of his busy schedule to assist me with my research, and he's been a great help."

Now Al was pouting again. He tried to hide it, but he failed miserably. Great. It appeared that Ed wasn't the only one with attitude problems. Alphonse had some serious jealousy issues when it came to anybody spending quality time with his brother. He obviously envied Roy because Roy had what Al wanted – his brother's company, and memories of the older brother's past, however incomplete. Maybe the Colonel should resign his commission, hang out a shingle, and start charging people to lie on his couch and talk out their problems. As soon as that sarcastic thought entered his mind however, Roy felt a twinge of shame. Both Al and Ed were people he cared for greatly, and he should have taken interest in what had happened to them far sooner.

"Sir-"

"Roy." The Colonel interrupted and Al blinked, but started anew.

"Colonel Musta-" The boy was just too polite for words. Roy was not, and he quickly interrupted.

"Al, we've known each other for a long time." The young man winced. Damn, from Al´s point of view, they hadn't, but in reality, they had. "Just call me Roy, it´s fine."

This time it took longer for the blond to find his voice again. "I know you were brother's superior when he was in the military."

It couldn´t be that difficult to call Roy by his first name, could it? The boy just needed to get used to the fact that Roy was not a stranger, not really. Al had come to him for help. Not just now, but in his search for his brother. Roy had proven he could be trusted. That he was a friend. Surely Al wasn't intimidated by Roy's ties to the military, or his rank.

Sighing deeply, the Colonel saw trouble heading his way. He was someone Alphonse had not known before the failed human transmutation. So despite the help he'd given, Roy was still a stranger. And suddenly the Colonel caught a glimpse of what Edward had been dealing with in his relationship with his little brother. If the younger boy struggled over such a minor informality as calling Roy by his first name, how would he react to finding the brother he remembered changed by experiences that the younger boy did not recall? When Edward had shown up at the Rockbell's, had Al recognized him? Had he expressed disbelief? Disappointment? Anger? Certainly the boys' reunion had to have been a disturbing mix of joy and pain.

Al's only refuge after he had been freed from the armor had been the Rockbells, and though both Winry and Pinako had changed as well in the years the brothers had been traveling, they had obviously done their best to make things as easy for Al as they could. It must have been difficult for the boy, meeting people who had known him as the Fullmetal's younger brother. They would have known him as seven feet of imposing armor, now suddenly reduced to an average sized ten year old boy. Roy guessed that Alphonse was used to people treating him gently, changing their behavior around him, perhaps to avoid making the youngster uncomfortable by being too forward or familiar. However, Roy was sure that Ed would not have changed his behavior, treating his little brother the same as he always had, and Roy had every intention of doing so as well. Alphonse had to get used to the fact that there were people who knew him, and cared about him, and that the world had not stood still for five years until the day he had suddenly found himself in Central, minus his big brother.

"Yes, but I was never yours," Roy told him. "And you have been always welcome in my office regardless. Next time you stop by and I´m not at home, come to Headquarters and I will give you my keys."

Al´s eyes went wide at the casual way the Colonel offered him free access to his home whether Roy was in it or not. It might be a risk, since this young Al was actually just as much a stranger to Roy as Roy was to him, but the risk was minimal. The older man doubted that there were drastic differences between this young man and the one he had known. Flesh and blood or hollow steel, Al's fundamental Al-ness shone through.

"Uhm… thank you, Sir."

"Roy." The Colonel insisted.

The way Al took a huge gulp out of the liquid chocolate made Roy wonder how easy it would be to turn both Elrics into alcoholics. Hmmm, a tipsy Ed might be fun.

"Roy." Al finally obliged. It was hesitant, but it was an improvement. The boy looked distinctly uncomfortable, and it took a few moments before he could continue. "I´m not sure how much you know, but… uhm…"

As Alphonse trailed of, biting his lower lip much the same way Ed did when thinking. Seeing the familiar gesture, it finally dawned to Roy that Al was not just trying to be polite. He was thinking very hard, trying to come to some decision, and the youngster's reluctance spoke of more than just hesitation about imposing on someone.

Roy felt like a truck hit him. As much as he was trying to hide it, the young man seated on his couch did not trust him enough to say what he was thinking. What a miserable track record – two Elrics, and neither trusted him enough to say what was on their minds. So much for his fallback career as a therapist.

But fine, Roy was a grown man, his ego could deal with it. And if he thought about it, the whole situation might not be as bad as he had thought it was. Trust could be earned. Roy hoped that he was not wrong in thinking that he had gained some ground in that area with Edward. And to keep that hard earned trust, Roy had to draw some clear lines in his relationship with Alphonse.

"If you are hoping I might tell you what your brother and I have talked about regarding your travels together, and his time away, I will have to disappoint you." And damn, Al looked _really_ disappointed.

"I just thought you might know," the young man muttered into the mug.

"I do. But I won´t tell you." The betrayed look Roy received made him feel worse than if he had drowned a litter of kittens, kicked a puppy across a busy road, and stolen a child's favorite lollipop on his birthday.

"Why?" Oh damn, and Roy thought _he_ was a master at manipulating people. He felt so sorry for the young man who appeared close to bursting into tears that he almost surrendered. Almost.

"Because it´s not my story to tell."

And the truth of that kept Roy's lips sealed. And they would stay sealed. No matter how miserable Al looked. No matter how bad Roy himself felt, looking into Al's crestfallen grey eyes.

"But that doesn't mean I can't help you," Roy added with a grin.

* * *

Day 18

Although he had bid Alphonse good night a few hours ago, Roy was unable to sleep.

And he needed the rest. He and Al had plans. Plans to find out more about Ed and Al's shared past, or in Roy's case, fill in a few blanks he knew Ed had left deliberately. Alphonse had objected, wanting to get started right away, but the Colonel had insisted that the both of them should rest before they set their plans into motion.

As tired as he was however, Roy's mind did not want to settle down. Or his dick for the matter.

The moment he closed his eyes, his thoughts took a trip down memory lane.

Before the bet, Roy had had no idea that memory lane had a red light district. Complete with erotic sights and sensations, as well as sounds.

Like the sound Ed had made when he'd ground himself against Roy's erection. God, he wanted to hear that moan again. He wanted to feel Ed's weight on his legs, and the pressure when Ed moved against him. He couldn't even distract himself with the plan he and Al had mapped out. He knew what to do, there was no further need to plan anything. Except perhaps where and in which position he wanted to screw Edward aferward. And his mind offered him a huge range of options.

All of them much appreciated by the general.

A twitching, needy, and hard general, a general that begged for attention by tenting out the covers, sending waves of hot arousal through Roy's body whenever thoughts slipped back to what had happened on Ed´s couch.

The Colonel tried to calm his dick down. Thanks to Maes little photo shoot and the resulting confrontation in Roy's office, Roy had gained some freedom. As it now stood, he could do just about anything he wanted, as long as he didn´t ejaculate. And that did not help the matter. Knowing he could allow himself to do more, to react to his desires if he just prevented himself from coming, was a curse in disguise. Knowing he _could_ do more, made him _want_ to do more. And the more he did, the more likely it would be that he went too far.

He had to kill this erection. Slow, shallow breathing didn't work. Neither did thoughts of dead animals, warzones, or mathematic equations. His mind turned everything he thought of to sex. It didn´t want to dwell on science, or the gruesome details of Hughes' solved and unsolved cases, or cute little animals with tire tracks matted into their fur.

After two hours of staring at the ceiling, Roy was frustrated beyond belief. And still aroused.

And the damn list he had so casually assembled in the office was now coming back to bite him in the ass. What he wouldn't give to have his former subordinate in bed with him, bound by either handcuffs or soft ribbon to the head of his bed. The blond would not be able to move his arms, to touch himself, and god, Roy would tease him, nip him, lick him, do everything but fuck him, until the man was just as frustrated and needy as Roy was right now. Unable to do anything about it other than try to get _Roy_ to take care of it, to fuck him and give him what he needed.

What a delightful thought. Maybe Ed would curse him, maybe beg him, maybe thrust his hips up, trying to grind his hot erection against the man on top of him.

He wondered how Ed would react blindfolded; not knowing what awaited him from one moment to the next. And Roy would make sure he got a lot of surprises. He wanted to hear him gasp for breath when he bit his neck, his hard nipples, his thighs. He wanted to feel Ed shudder when Roy sucked on his skin, licked it, and left marks all over his lean body.

Roy almost moaned at the pleasurable sensation when his hand rubbed over the bulge in his pajamas and gave the hard length beneath the cotton a good squeeze. Then his eyes went wide and he froze. Just when had his hand slipped beneath the covers?

Whenever it had happened, it felt damn good. Roy decided he should remove his fingers, before it felt _too_ good. And he did, but his hand seemed to have a will of its own. Instead of getting out from beneath the covers, it slipped under the waistband of his pajamas. Okay, maybe not exactly of its own will, this was just what Roy wanted, but shouldn't, do.

But Roy had been horny for _hours,_ and his mind wouldn´t stop tormenting him. His hips jerked upwards the moment his hand moved over the sensitive flesh and his mind went back to Ed, seeing him do the same when Roy groped him. At some point, the thought of touching another man's dick had stopped feeling weird. Before, it was only about how his own hard length would get satisfaction, and really, an ass was an ass, male or female. The same went for a mouth. There was no big difference. Roy could slam his erection into either and get what he wanted.

Women didn´t have dicks of course, and the thought of boners, or touching erected men, had never aroused Roy up until now. Come to think of it though, it had never actually grossed him out either. It was just a dick after all. Nothing new. He owned one himself and he saw them on a regular basis, whenever he went to the men's facilities.

What did send a wave of tingling excitement and anticipation through his body was the thought of what it would do to Edward to pay a bit of attention to the blond´s erection. Being a man himself, Roy knew exactly how good it would feel. And oh, it did, he could feel the heat in his own lap, the pleasure when his fingers wrapped around his hard member. How much would it take to reduce the stubborn blond to a needy body, desperate to come with no coherent thought in his mind, just an all consuming need to fuck? Ed might be the most stubborn and defiant person Roy had ever met, but through his body, there was so much Roy could do to him. He could quite literally take him, claim him, own him, and damn, the thought of that alone -

This time Roy didn´t manage to completely suppress the moan when his hand moved up his length and down again. Then his fingers went further down, to his balls. So good, so perfect. Nothing else mattered anymore. Just the pleasure, the feel of his need finally being satisfied.

But it was not enough, he needed _more_.

Once again, his fingers wrapped around the hot shaft. Some tiny little part of his brain screamed for him to stop, but he didn´t want to, he wanted his hand to _move_.

And he wanted Ed to feel just the same way when he did this to him. He wanted the man to be just as desperate for Roy's hand to jerk him off as he himself felt right now. So close to losing his mind. So close to not caring about anything but orgasm. So _close_.

Fuck it. He wanted to come, he needed it.

But if he did, then his hand would stay his only companion until he dated all the damn females on Hughes dreaded list at least long enough to _know_ them. Damn it, he didn´t want to know them. He wanted to fuck. And sure, they would be smart, they would be sweet, maybe even good in bed, but Roy didn´t want some sweet little housewife. He wanted a challenge, someone that was worth the effort. He wanted Ed underneath him, wanted to pounce on that hot body, and plunge into that tight ass, and have the man for once not resisting, but willing. Willing to offer himself to Roy, to let the Colonel do as he pleased while Edward begged for more.

Roy wanted that to happen.

And it would happen.

He just needed to get rid of his arousal. He needed to control himself. And he would control himself.

He just needed to come. Just once, then it would be better, he would be able to think again. Just once. One time, and he would be the same man he had been at the bet's beginning. All it would take was to move, to stroke his dick. His hand moved up again, his fingers tightening their grip, just beneath the head of his erection. His hips went up, the hard length sliding easily through his fingers. Just the same as always, but so much better after all this time. He shuddered, gasping for breath at the overwhelming sensation.

Down again and he loosed his grip, his palm brushing over the head of his erected member before he jerked up again, the shaft rubbing his palm and his fingers once again wrapping themselves around the sensitive flesh as his hips went down.

Again.

He needed to do this again. He _wanted_ to do this again.

Again and again and he would come and it would be just once, then he would stop. Then he would be able to fight it again. A nice, steady rhythm, a fast pace, and it wouldn´t take long. He would thrust his hips up. Just like he would thrust into Ed. Smooth movements, fast and deep.

But he was alone in the bed, and if he wanted Edward here with him, he would have to control himself. And he could – afterwards, after he came.

'_Think man, think!_' Some part of his mind screamed and Roy knew there was something wrong with his reasoning. Try as he might, Roy couldn´t do what the screaming part of him wanted him to do, couldn´t figure out where his logic didn´t fit reality. And who needed thinking anyways, when they could have pleasure and relief and feel so fucking good coming.

Just once. And he would be able to control himself, control his need. Roy Mustang was no slave to his body, he could do this, could still win the bet. He just needed it once. And after the rest of these hated thirty days, he could fuck to his heart's – or his dick's- delight. Twelve more days, that´s nothing. Not even two weeks, he could manage that… if he just came this once. If he could just ease the tension in his lap, the hot ache in his groan. It wasn´t worth mentioning, just a quick jerk off. And then he would be fine again. He would be fine and in control if he just moved his hand, if he just stroked his dick, fucked his hand, spilled his cum and –

'_And that´s masturbation, you idiot!' _His mind screamed. His fingers stopped on their way up his member. There was absolutely no sense in masturbating to win a bet that included _no_ _masturbation_.

Still, the sensation was there, the pressure of his grip around the swollen member. He needed to stop. He wanted to move. Move away! Away! Not up and down, away. Just once – would be too much. He needed to move his fingers _away_. But his hand refused to obey. He wasn't stroking himself anymore, but he couldn´t loosen the grip on his member. His mind was torn, indecisive, and his hand was frozen between the general's command and the Colonel's.

The general was insistent in its pleas for relief. So what if he couldn't move his hand? Roy could thrust his hips, fuck his hand and be done with it. Roy's mind launched its counter attack. If he did that, yes, he would have relief for a short time, but then he would be handing his balls over to Hughes to raffle off to his pool of greedy wannabe housewives. The general conceded that point, but continued its offensive. Granted, being a slave to Hughes' matchmaking mania sounded like a fate worse than death, but if Roy had to face that, he should at least make it worthwhile. Don't lose this bet for masturbating to the thought of banging Ed. He should go find Ed and bang him for real. Hard. And forceful. And loud enough that Hughes would not need a spy to photograph them doing it, he would be able to hear the slapping of Roy's balls against his former subordinates ass from across town, along with Ed´s screams and those delightful moans, and whatever noises Ed made when he came, repeatedly, and let´s see how the nice young ladies Maes set him up with would like to deal with a boyfriend who screwed men like that.

But if he did, it would be for the last time. That's what losing this bet now meant.

After taking a few deep breaths, fighting the desire to jerk himself off, Roy finally loosed his grip on his erection. His fingers brushed over the hard length when his hand finally found its way out of his pajamas and it felt so amazingly good, he still wanted to just screw the bet – no pun intended - and get his hand back into the trousers of his sleepwear. Instead, Roy forced it away from the throbbing ache between his legs and god damn it, he wanted to come. He could feel the relief, the orgasm, building on the edge of his consciousness and oh god, how he wanted to come. It wouldn't take much, two, maybe three quick pumps, but he couldn't. Tossing himself around in his bed, Roy's hardness brushed against the cotton of his pajama and he almost sobbed at the friction, the welcomed sensation that brought him one step closer to where his entire body wanted to be.

Roy thought himself frustrated before. Now he needed to invent a new, stronger adjective for what he was feeling. He clenched his fists, mentally begging the general not to blow his load. His dick's only reply was a painful wave of lust and pure _need_.

He had never understood why hyperactive brats slammed doors and stomped around when they were frustrated. Now he did. Fists hammering his pillow, the alchemist buried his face in the softness of the padding. Bad move. The change of position left him lying on his stomach, with the mattress pressing against the aching erection. Roy's hips jerked forward instinctively, reacting to the friction against his member.

Shuddering, the Colonel bit his lips, not knowing if he would moan or sob if he didn´t suppress the sound. He hadn't ordered hips to move. It was not intended, but his midsection moved again, rubbing the hardness in his pajamas against soft cotton. He had no idea how he managed _not_ to repeat the movement, to prevent it from turning it into a steady, frantic humping. He didn't manage to prevent his hips from shifting to apply more pressure to his member however, pressing the hard length further against the mattress. It appeared that his body was desperate to get what it needed, regardless of what Roy wanted. His conscious mind was losing its grip, thoughts and rationalizations drowning in the sensations coming from his groin.

And he needed to breathe. Panting, the Colonel lifted his face from the pillow, groaning as his back arched and his dick pressed harder against the bed, trapped between the mattress and Roy's lower stomach. For one moment, he just wanted to grind against his bed, and his body was just about to do that, but then he once again tossed himself over. Lying on his back, the erection was bereft of any resistance it could rub against. And Roy once again found himself fighting the approaching orgasm, hitting his mattress with his fist because honestly, he couldn´t take this anymore.

He wanted to cry, scream his frustration out, but managed to limit himself to a groan instead. Once again, his body jerked up, but there was nothing to grind his dick against. Nothing to rub against. Nothing to help him ease this tension he felt. Nothing to fuck. He was so hard, it hurt. It hurt to feel the pajamas press against his trapped erection. To feel the weight of the bedcovers. But it was an ache that promised so much pleasure if he just went ahead and did something, anything, about it.

It was too much to bear.

With one smooth movement, he tossed the bedcovers aside. The weight on his dick disappeared and it was better. The warmth of the covers vanished and he shivered at the cool breeze coming from the open window. It helped the tiniest bit against the arousal, but his pajamas, now sporting a very impressive bulge, still trapped his aching erection.

Roy lifted his hips to shove the trousers down, and for one moment he enjoyed the sensation of the waistband rubbing along his length. The next moment the general realized that the fresh air was _cold_. The Colonel let out a sob, shivered, and pressed his warm palm over his dick.

Oh fuck. The general was so sensitive even that light touch was painful. In a very pleasurable way. It was just mindfuckingly good. Roy threw his head back as his fingers stroked his erection.

Oh _yes_.

Oh _no_.

His hips jerked up, as if to follow the hand he snatched away from his twitching cock. Oh god, he was so painfully _hard_.

Could somebody just shoot him and end this?

The Colonel couldn´t lay still any longer. He needed to move, to do anything but just lie here and bear this tension, this ache, this need. His legs kicked the pajamas down to his ankles, but it didn´t help. His mind was no longer in control and his body shifted, tossed around and before he even realized what he was doing, his face was again buried in the soft pillow. A pillow that drowned his cry, as his hips moved forcefully. This time, there were no pajamas to damp the friction of his member against the mattress and Roy threw back his head, bent his back and moaned out the name of his former subordinate.

He couldn´t do this. He was Roy Mustang. He couldn´t lose this bet. Not like this. He shouldn´t be forced to masturbate like this, he should fuck. And fuck good. Fuck a man, a woman, in a group, but not his mattress for god´s sake.

But his dick didn´t give a damn who he was and what he should or shouldn´t do. Twitching, his cock happily tortured him with both pleasure and pain as it slid against the sheets.

Roy pushed himself forcefully up. His legs were shaking, but he stayed on his hand and knees and managed to not fall into the cushions again. And more importantly, to keep his throbbing, aching, oh fuck, hurting, member away from the mattress, the pillows, and everything else.

Panting, eyes closed, he waited, listening to the sound of his sweat dropping onto the sheets. Trying to keep his shaking legs and arms from giving up. Trying to not give up himself and let his dick control his body, no matter what it wanted to do.

The cold helped, he could feel it on his sweaty skin. On his hot dick.

Dead animals. Dead animals… that had cute owners who needed to be comforted now that poor kitty had been run over by a truck.

Mathematics. His position surely had absolutely _nothing_ to do with the fact that sixty-nine was the only number his brain could come up with.

War. Ishbal. Soldiers fucking in their tents. They where human, after all, they needed some form of esxape. Some were too scared to get it up. And some just fucked their brains out to avoid thinking about what they had done. And to avoid sleep, knowing their actions would haunt them in their dreams. Of course they would think about it, of course they would simply fall asleep when exhaustion finally took its toll. But damn, from the sound of it, some had tried to set new records every night by staying awake, screwing the nurses. And comrades. No one really kept count, but Roy was one of four males that were rumored to hold the record.

And with good reason.

Fuck. Another topic. Another topic.

Sex.

This was not helping at all.

Ed.

Grinding movements, an offered throat, and those moans. Golden eyes, filled with lust.

Wincing, the Colonel tried to think of something that would not remind him of fucking.

His brain came up with – 'fucking'.

He needed to take more drastic action.

Ice cubes.

The memory of what had happened the last time he had used ice cubes flashed through Roy's mind. His hands shook from the thought alone, and his arms gave out. The moment he hit the mattress, his dick was happy again.

Until Roy managed to push himself back to his hands and knees.

He had promised the general that he would never resort to ice cubes again, and that was a promise he intended to keep. Besides, with this boner, he wouldn´t even make it to the kitchen. Especially not with Al lying on the couch in his living room.

Al.

Dear god, what guarantee did he have that the boy was really asleep? Maybe he was lying there, thinking about his brother, about the situation. Maybe he was awake.

Then the Colonel wondered just how loud he had been for the past few … minutes? Hours? Years? It felt like he'd been tossing around in his bed for an eternity, but it couldn´t be. Still, did Al hear him? It wouldn't be hard to figure out what Roy had been doing. Had the young man heard him panting and moaning? Had he heard Roy moan his brother's name?

Ed would kill him. Slowly.

But first he would kill the general. Slowly.

Despite the fact that he was thinking about Ed, it actually helped.

At least enough for Roy to make it to the shower.

* * *

He was going to regret this. He knew it. But he had no choice. He had a boner to get rid of.

Roy had let the water run for quite a few minutes, just so it would be as cold as possible, and the entire bathroom had become uncomfortably cold and clammy. His arm almost froze when he reached into the shower to turn the water off, and he knew there was no way he would not run out of the shower, maybe even out of the bathroom – without caring about his state of undress - once the cold hit the general. This, and his last reaction to his dick meeting cool air, was what had given him the idea. And it was a really stupid idea, born of desperation. It was probably one of the most idiotic ideas he'd had in years.

It came right after the idea to agree to this bet.

Okay, after the idea to pour ice water over his lap.

Or hump his furniture.

Or masturbate in the library.

It wasn`t something he would admit out loud, but he'd really had a lot of stupid ideas lately.

Which did nothing to discourage him from his latest one. He had agreed to this bet. He was willing to go for the win at all costs. He would do this. No matter how suicidal and self harming it might be.

The sense of doom spread in his guts. The cold seeped up from his feet and into his legs as he stepped into the frigid pool of water on the shower floor. Whatever remained of his rational mind screamed that this was a bad idea. A really bad idea. Still, he gripped the two items he held in his hands and prepared to use them.

One was hooked behind the height-adjustable shower nozzle. The other he took between his teeth.

No way did he want Alphonse forcing his way into the bathroom because of the screaming. He'd likely never be able to face the young man again, after being caught handcuffed to the shower-head's pipe. Leaving his hands just enough freedom to turn the water tap, Roy locked the cuffs around his wrists to prevent his body from jerking away from the freezing cold water.

Biting down on the leather belt, he turned the water on.

* * *

Al had been dead to the world, too exhausted to even notice when the Colonel entered the living room to wake him.

But he had sent a strange look towards his host once he came out of the shower. Roy was sure he had gotten rid of most of the evidence of his battle against the general. He needed to call a plumber to look at the shower pipe however. His body had jerked away from the icy water so forcefully that the pipe had bent under the strain, though thankfully it had not given away.

And he needed to replace his belt, since it would be weird to wear one that had noticeable teeth marks on it, inviting questions Roy would rather not answer.

Despite all that, the Colonel was marking this down as a victory against his dick, which was frozen into submission again, uncomfortable, cold, and slack in his underwear. And fine, he had no problem with his cock being offended with him, as long as it stayed down until the bet was won. No longer, of course. But considering that even ice-water had not been enough to put the general off for long, Roy didn´t hold high hopes that his cold shower attack would calm his member down for any great length of time.

And in fact, it didn´t keep his member still for even a single hour. All it took was Roy witnessing Al inhaling the food much the same way Ed did. Which made him think about Ed…

Fuck, no. Roy did not want another shower, thank you very much.

But Alphonse had more in common with his brother than the Colonel would have believed possible, even for brothers. He had not shown his surprise, but Roy had noticed the shocked reaction at the fact that the Flame Alchemist had managed to make breakfast without burning it.

What was so unbelievable about the thought of him being able to cook? Did Roy come off as so incompetent that something as simple as eggs, bacon and toast were considered beyond his capabilities? And Al had yet to see a dinner prepared by Roy.

Alphonse was too polite to accuse his host of trying to poison him, but he did wait till the darkhaired man took the first bite. And once Al did so himself… maybe it was because of all the time spent in the armor being unable to eat, remembered or not. Or maybe it was an Elric thing. But Al began shoveling the food into his mouth with a speed matched by one other person: his brother.

But unlike Ed, the younger Elric blushed embarrassed and apologized for his lack of manners.

Roy didn´t have the nerve to tell him that his manners were not the reason why the older man avoided looking at him as he shoved his food inside. It reminded him of Edward, and whenever he thought about the former Fullmetal…

Roy had to make himself think of anything else, or risk startling Al when a very long and hard sausage burst through the table from underneath.

The simmering arousal burning inside him was not about Al however. It was all about Edward, which Roy was extremely relieved to discover. The younger Elric had absolutely no effect on him or his dick Roy was overjoyed to know. Because that would have been just too much.

Both alchemists would have killed him, if he didn´t do it himself. Al was bordering on the fine edge of maturity, and would without a doubt be a very handsome man in a few years, but right now he was still a child. And though Al was technically older than his body was, Roy couldn´t help but feel like a pedophile pervert for even worrying about the possibility that he could have gotten just the slightest bit of arousal from thoughts of touching Alphonse.

He definitely preferred the older and definitely not so innocent Elric for this kind of activity.

Thoughts of how Ed had lost his innocence brought Roy back to the topic at hand, and the reason why both he and Al had not slept until dawn. They had decide that it would be better to do this at night, and since they would need extra lightning anyway, it didn´t matter when they started, though Roy preferred not to be seen.

They left the house fifteen minutes later.

Roy was driving, but Al led the way.

**Tbc**.

* * *

I knew it was a long wait, but at least the chapter is a longer one ^^ I know it appears as if not much happened, but there is some progress if you squeeze for it XD


	22. Investigations and Realizations

**Beta&Co-Author**: Still the amazing Ca11iope ^^ If you only knew how much she improves the story, you would be tempted to build her a shrine just as much as I am XD

Okay, the usual stuff ^^ I´ll make it short, so you won´t have to wait yet another day. My apologies for taking so long again. RL is still kicking but at least it gets some rhythm ._. Although, I don´t want it to practice until it can apply for Riverdance, so I will do my best to get the chapters out soon u.u even if it doesn´t work with every chapter, I hope you still read and enjoy the story ^^

* * *

redchicken888: tbc is short for 'to be continued', which basically says it´s not the last chapter :D It´s nice to read how much you enjoy the torture ^^ it was about time for the general to get active again ^^ the lack of sleep will not help the next day at work ^^

natsukyi: XD Yes, I do ^^ and I hope you enjoy it as well :D

black-klepon: XD Since no man would be willing to do this, there aren´t many reasons why such a book could be sold. a) bought by poor hormone-driven teenies b) by housewifes c) by all the people who want to laugh about Roy XD Including Ed :D I´m pretty sure should our dear fullmetal ever stumble upon a log of Roy´s methods, he will laugh his ass of and never let Roy forget this XD Ah, about the Cos-kind-of-sequel: yes, you´re right. Although, as you noticed, I added a lot of history and changed some ^^

Tsukasa..rule: Oh yes, it is ^^ but in this case, this bitch is related to the one called payback ^^ Roy had it coming with his lifestyle XD

Kawaii-Chibi666: Al has to find out at some point ^^ The big problem why Al is reacting like that, he doesn´t know how to handle the situation and of course he wants his brother back ^^ There is some hope this will get better ^.~ About Roy 'owning' Ed ;P it´s not the master-slave-kind of owning, but considering someone/something as his. We´ll come to that later :D

ELOSSS Alchemist: Wrong? XD Well... uhm.. let´s say he´s a perverted, self-harming control freak with a ego far too big ^^ but otherwise there´s noth- okay, there´s a lot wrong ._. but he didn´t exaclty lie. He just hid a few - important- facts ^^

Kitsune-the-fox: ^^ happy you liked the chapter. I assure you, it´s for Roy´s best ;-P After all, without the bet, there would be no RoyxEd coming and no story XD

Mochiusagi: Don´t feel bad about enjoying Roy´s suffering XD He totally deserved it ^.~ And your right about the 12 days XD They are some scenes planned… :D I think you going to enjoy them ^-^ At least I hope you will ;-P

Cynder81: Oh yes, Ed is indeed in trouble and he doesn´t even know it yet ^^ But there´s more than just Roy and Al as you can read this chapter ^^ As for the general and Roy: XD they will probably hate each other's guts/dick-equivalent-of-guts after this bet, but I´m sure they manage to get over it ^.~ After all, neither is going to live a happy life without the other XD

Le Petit Usagi: XD Yes, I will *salutes* and do it with delight XD It is fun ^^ As for Ed: I don´t XD

Fnick's Witness: yes, it does ._. it´s kicking my butt the last few weeks. But I´m happy you liked the chapter ^^ Despite RL being insistent, I try to get the next one out sooner X_x That last line just made me consider looking into Hetalia XD And I think it´s fine to read/see other Manga/Anime ^^ As long as you enjoy what you do. But I still hope I can bind you a bit longer to FMA ^^

MidnightTune36: XD Considered the brothers are only one year apart… ^^° We are not making sense with such sentences, but who cares? XD Nice quote ^^

LoveNote: Interesting positions… XD~~~~~ The 12 days won´t end soon. There are a lot of things going to happen ^^ I can´t even guess at which chapter this fic is going to end and it´s already planned out XD It already surpassed the stage of being predictable in length ^^° But the good thing: It tends to get longer and longer, so at least it gives you something to read :D I´m happy you liked the last chapter and hope you will the rest as well ^^

Sachiel Angelo: XD This is going to drive you mad ^^° The answer to that is planned… for another chapter ^^°

o-Jeff-o: XD At least some people were thinking of Al ^^° Even if the general didn´t care about anything else than getting off XD But the sight of Al's face…. LOL XD As for Al meeting Ed: very soon ;-P

PrinceDarkLink: Yes, the ice water was the closest yet :D But that one was close as well. He really had other thing on his mind than Al: sex ^^ But your right about him being horrified getting off anywhere near Al while thinking of Ed ^^ I can´t say who would have been more horrified about Al hearing Roy getting of thinking about Ed :D Roy or Al ^^

Hawkpath13: XD Okay, I get it, you side with Roy ^.~ Yes, It think the general is still alive, but no guarantees. However, we will hear more of him soon ^.~ And torture him and it´s owner as well :D

Coup-de-plume: ^^ I´m happy you did review. I have to admit, I´m horrible at leaving reviews as well ._. although I always want to u.u But now I know I´m not the only one lazy when it comes to this ^^° So, thank you for leaving a comment XD I appreciate it. And I´m happy to hear you enjoy the story so much ^/ / /^ As for Maes: you can get a first insight down here ^^ Although I don´t think it would be easy to get into a skirt without being obvious about the fact that something is going on XD (Even if there was no pun intended: That line cracked me up ;D So true… ^.~)

Proser132: Yeah, the thing about libraries ;-P But there are situations you can get caught in libraries that are worse than getting caught reading fanfics ;-) Just ask Roy XD But your right about Al, he definitely needs a hug ^^ He won´t get that from Roy, but at least our dear Colonel will give him some help ^.~ As for the M-rated review: Damn, you should have just written it XD I´ve never got one :D Would have been a first ^.~

* * *

**The Bet of the Year**

**Chapter 21: Investigations and Realizations **

It hadn't taken much effort on Roy's part to persuade Alphonse to take him to the place where he had lost his brother and then brought him home. The youngster had been reluctant at first, explaining that it would take quite some time to get there, but Roy had insisted that examining the scene could yield helpful clues to what had happened, and Alphonse had finally agreed. He had lead Roy to an old, abandoned church in a seedier section of Old Central, and then inside to the point of the nave. Hesitantly the young blond had opened a secret panel hidden on the alter, revealing a hidden stairway, timeworn stone steps disappearing into darkness.

When they entered the tunnel, both Roy and Alphonse used their alchemy to seal the entry shut behind them, not to trap themselves, but to prevent others from following them. It left them in complete darkness until Roy used his gloves to spark a flame. The alchemical spark lit something else as well: curiosity. Noticing the inquisitive look that the younger Elric cast him reminded Roy that Alphonse had not seen the older alchemist use his alchemy since the loss of his memory. Roy filed that recollection away for future consideration. As he had done with Edward, perhaps Roy could use Alphonse love of alchemy as a common ground to get the young man to relax around him.

The small flame flickering just above Roy's open palm barely illuminated the walls, creating deep shadows on the demonic faces roughly carved into the rock. Roy assumed the menacing sculptures held some sort of religious significance, though he couldn't make sense of the depictions. Nor was he likely to discover their origins or purpose. Whoever had created this gruesome gallery was long dead.

This place was _old_.

It smelled ancient and rotten. The ground was covered with a thick layer of fine dust, stirred up by the two alchemists' feet as they advanced into the darkness. The procession of looming demonic faces had many gaps, teeth missing from this sinister leer. Rocks had crumbled or were overgrown with moss and pale, sickly vines. The few colors that remained were bleached and peeling off the walls. Roy wondered how anything alive managed to survive down here.

But despite the crudeness of the rendering and the barbaric designs, the sheer quantity of the carvings was impressive. As the two alchemists advanced through the passage, each figure became visible in the light before vanishing back into the darkness in a seemingly endless pageant. The flicking flame above Roy's hand gave the images on the wall the appearance of movement, and despite knowing that this was solid stone, Roy's eyes tricked him more than once. He found himself observing the carvings more closely, the illusion of movement catching his eye. The atmosphere was eerie, unsettling, even creepy, though Roy would never admit to the extent that this place unnerved him. He was a soldier, and a scientist, and he knew that he and Alphonse were alone, and that this was stone. Unmoving and soulless. Incapable of attacking the two insignificant humans that had dared to trespass.

Two humans, who were attempting to devote considerably more attention to their discussion than their surroundings, and for the most part, were succeeding. At the moment they were talking about a particularly infuriating alchemist that was on both of their minds.

Or more precisely, Al was talking about that particular alchemist.

In order to take their minds off their disturbing surroundings and the oppressive silence that bound them, Roy had asked the other alchemist to talk about something. Anything was fine, really. At least, that was what he told Al. But Roy knew there was just one thing on the young alchemist's mind, so the topic was not really Al´s choice. It was Roy's intention to get an insight into the way Al viewed his brother, to gauge the differences between the Al who had lived inside cold armor and the Al now restored to flesh and blood.

Maybe Alphonse wanted to lighten the mood. Maybe he was just as sick of the silence as Roy was. Or maybe he just wanted the opportunity to talk to someone willing to listen. It didn´t matter. The blond humored the older man and started to tell him stories. Stories from days long past, carefree days. Nothing heavy weighted. Just short anecdotes from the childhood Alphonse remembered. And although it had been his intention to weigh the changes in Al, Roy gained some insight into how Edward had changed as well.

It was strange to hear about the child Ed had once been. Not surprisingly, he had been rude and rebellious, not taking shit from anyone. At an early age Ed was already opposing authority. He refused to be treated like a child, even when he was one. He couldn´t stand to be talked down to with the typical high pitched sweet talk most adults thought fit for children. Al got Roy laughing with a tale of such a time, when some young townswomen had insulted both Al and Ed with their baby-talk, and Edward had retaliated by asking their mother if the 'old aunties' were talking that way because they were senile.

Both Elric offspring had learned the basics of alchemy at a very young age, before most other children could learn to read, but despite their accomplishments they were still children. The stories Al recounted made that simple truth very clear. The two brothers' antics were silly and ridiculous, and only understandable if one looked at them from a child's point of view.

It was a relief to hear about Ed being just what he should have been – a normal little boy. These anecdotes spoke of a completely different life, when the worst consequences of a mistake were a scolding from their mother. And for the first time, Roy caught a glimpse of the life the Elrics had lived before everything broke apart. Silently listening to the words, he tried to shake off thoughts of what could have been, if only Trisha Elric hadn´t died. If only the children had not decided to try human transmutation. If only Hohenheim had been there for his children when they needed him the most. But such things did not bare thinking about. Time could not be turned back. Neither for the Elrics, nor for him.

The longer Al talked, the more he became lost in the memories. Roy did his best not to interrupt. The young man obviously needed this, and consciously or not, he seemed to trust Roy to some degree. Al didn´t even realize the moment when he crossed the bridge between the meaningless thing anyone could know and the things that would tell a good listener perhaps more than the speaker wanted to reveal. And Roy was finally able to pin down a few differences between Edward before the attempt at human transmutation, and the Fullmetal Alchemist that Roy had come to know. Differences that haunted the younger Elric, whose brother was still lost to him.

The most prominent change was in the way Ed dealt with guilt and responsibility. It seemed that before the boys' ill-fated attempt to bring back their mother, the young man was never inclined to take the blame for situations he frequently got himself into. Quite the contrary. Like the stubborn, precocious child that he was, Ed typically insisted the reasons for his actions were valid, and regardless of the outcome, he had been in the right. To Roy, that behavior showed the young man's arrogance, and he knew it had been a key factor in his eventual downfall.

But Edward had learned from his mistakes. While the older version was just as hard-headed as his younger self, his core was fundamentally different. Fullmetal had been stubborn, yes. He still was. However, unlike the child prodigy, the alchemist with the silver watch couldn´t afford to let his arrogance dictate his actions. He now knew firsthand how his actions could result in serious consequences, and while he was more than willing to suffer them himself if he deemed it necessary, he was more careful to consider how others could be affected by his choices. His persistence extended to the goals and priorities he had set for himself - Al's wellbeing first on the list, but not to the exclusion of the brothers' honesty and integrity. Fullmetal had done his best to avoid making another mistake that would cost him, or worse his brother, more than they were prepared to give up. And he always did his best to keep the people around him from being harmed by his actions as well.

Of course, that wasn't always possible. As a child, Edward had dealt with his mistakes like anyone else, feeling the normal amount of guilt, and eventually moving past it. As a dog of the military, Edward took on a much heavier burden, taking the blame not only for troubles he felt he caused, but also for misfortunes he failed to prevent, regardless of who was actually responsible for them. Particularly where Alphonse was concerned, it sometimes appeared to Roy that the young State Alchemist was driven to take the blame for all the world's ills.

Another difference Roy noted between Edward then and now was his obsession with alchemy. Living out in the country, with only their mother to guide and direct them, alchemy had been the only challenge for the two young geniuses, and while both boys had been very eager to learn the science, it was far from the obsessive determination Ed had developed to get his brother's body back.

The picture of young Ed that Alphonse painted for the Colonel was of a happy carefree little boy, who loved his mother and brother, liked to play his share of pranks which he would frequently get into trouble for, enjoyed learning to do alchemy because it pleased his mother, and had far too much confidence in his own abilities. Had anyone asked Roy or his team to describe Fullmetal as they knew him, they would have been sure to note his love for his brother and dedication to the younger Elric's welfare, his obsession with alchemy, his short statue, and his even shorter temper. Yes, some of these characteristics had lost their extreme edge by now, likely thanks to Ed's greater maturity and the fact that Al was no longer a soul bound to a seven foot full-steel suit of armor, but the changes were still significant. Alphonse would have to confront them if he wanted to understand his brother.

But there was something else that was different in this situation. And it had nothing to do with Edward.

Roy knew he would have to do something about it, but now was not the time. He decided that it would be better to wait and see where this venture with Alphonse lead before he determined the best way to proceed.

* * *

It was shortly after midnight when Darren Prahler left the restaurant. Twitching up the collar of his coat against the cool night air, he hunched his narrow shoulders as he thrust his hands deep into his pockets. The chill breeze ruffled sparse strands of graying brown hair, and he wished he had remembered to bring his hat. The man was confused about what had just happened, but was satisfied that he had secured the job he was after. Even though he would have to switch partners. But the Major had promised he would take care of that.

The grey haired man wasn´t sure he regretted the fact. Working with Edward had been exhausting, mainly due to communication issues. Darren had often felt uncomfortable as well, obliged to prove his competence. It had been ridiculous, really. Though Prahler wasn't a State Alchemist, former or otherwise, he was far older and more experienced than the Elric kid. The young man should have been grateful to have a partner of Darren's caliber. Instead he acted as if having the aging alchemist for a partner was the biggest inconvenience he had ever suffered. The younger man was a much better alchemist than most of the idiots Darren had worked with in the past however, so he had used their meeting this morning as an opportunity to invite the young man to dinner the same evening, for a business meeting with a potential new client.

Despite the fact that two weeks prior the blond alchemist had announced to their current client that he would be looking for an out-of-town job next, and would therefore be unavailable until he returned, the young man had been quick to agree to having dinner with Darren and his potential client. The older man thought that perhaps Edward had finally seen what a wonderfully skilled partner Darren was, and was reluctant to permanently part company.

For whatever reason – continued collaboration or a free meal - Edward had agreed to a meeting with Darren's client. What Edward didn't know was that the client Prahler was courting was none other than the Amestrian military.

And so Darren Prahler, self proclaimed alchemist extraordinaire, had been gleefully awaiting the opportunity to show off the fact that he was good enough to be considered for a military project, in front of this know-it-all smart aleck little punk who had been forced on him as a partner. Admittedly, the blond was clever, and his grasp of the concepts excellent, but without the experienced guidance of an expert like Prahler, their joint project would not have been the success that it was. It certainly would not have been handed in on time. There was absolutely no reason for the older man to feel as if he couldn´t hold his own against someone so much younger than himself. It had been more than obvious that Darren was the certified expert when it came down to presenting the client with the finished project and the written report this morning. Only Darren's efforts had prevented the man from becoming offended by Elric's rude behavior.

And now the older man had certifiable proof that he was a professional alchemist as well. The military didn´t hire just _anyone_, and rarely used anyone from the outside their stable of State Alchemists. But the number of state certified alchemist was rather limited, as the three part qualifying exam was notoriously difficult to pass. So opportunity had knocked on Darren Prahler's door, and he had enthusiastically thrown it open.

Despite his young age, Edward Elric seemed to have built a solid reputation for himself. Even Darren was fairly certain that he had heard the youngster's name at some point, not that he could remember where or in what context. It hardly mattered. The project the older man wanted had required a team. A team implied at least two people. Darren assumed his chances would be even better if his partner was well known. He just had to make sure he was the appointed the team leader, since working with the blond alchemist as an equal had gotten on his nerves. That could easily be negotiated by pointing out Edward's attitude and age. With a capable partner under Darren's lead, the project would be easy money. A substantial amount of easy money. With a good reputation thrown in for good measure. At least, that was how Darren foresaw the situation unfolding.

The plan to surprise Edward had definitely worked. The young man had appeared quite taken aback to discover Prahler's coveted potential new client was Amestris' armed forces. But Edward wasn't the only one in for a surprise.

What surprised Darren was that the business dinner included one more person than he expected. And that the addition had greeted his soon-to-be partner in a more than pleased, and quite familiar manner. A greeting that included a joyful 'Surprise!', a huge grin, and an attack with photos of a rather cute girl. The smile that grazed Elric's lips when he first spotted the man became strained once the pictures were shoved into his face.

"Lieutenant Colonel Hughes," the young blond greeted the newcomer as he seated himself at the table.

Whatever the young alchemist said next, Prahler did not hear. He had been distracted by the other officer as the man greeted him. Thrown off balance, Prahler introduced Edward to Major Bauer, only to discover that the Major already knew who the young blond was as well, and seemed very pleased to meet him. Unsure what to expect now that the situation had taken this sudden sharp turn, Darren waited to see what would happen next. As it happened, Prahler and his contact left the Lieutenant Colonel and Elric to themselves and took another table. Darren had no idea what the other two men had talked about, but his own conversation partner had told him that the military would hire them both. Just not as partners.

That was fine by Darren. And it made sense to brief them separately if they would be working on different projects. Still, his former partner appeared far too comfortable talking with an officer. It was obvious that the brat had connections to the military. No wonder he'd been able to make a name for himself at such a tender age, shouldering in front of more experienced and accomplished alchemists such as Darren himself. If only the selfish brat had told him sooner, the older man could have received his ticket into the lucrative military world far sooner.

Not that it mattered anymore.

He had the job.

* * *

The way down had not creeped Roy out. Well, not very much.

This did.

Most people would have experienced an opposite reaction. They would have been frightened in the gargoyle inhabited darkness on the way down, then gawked amazed at the vast underground city, waiting silent and empty at the bottom of the winding stairway.

Because he was a soldier and an alchemist, Roy had seen and experienced worse things than the crude carvings lining the two alchemists' passage into the earth. The darkness, the gruesome faces carved into stone, and the illusions of their movement had been unable to scare him. But because he was a solder and an alchemist, this immense empty chamber did, though 'scare' was too strong a word.

An entire city, the size a match to the one above it on the surface, buried. And empty. Roy's ears strained to hear the slightest sound, something to tell him that someone or something must be alive in the huge cavern, to no avail. The oppressive silence was broken only by the sound of his and Alphonse footsteps. There were no corpses, no bones, no skulls. No sign that anyone had ever lived here. The damp air pressed through Roy's jacket to prickle on his skin, an uneasiness settling into his bones, electric with the feeling that something had happened here. Something horrific. The atmosphere clenched a cold grip around his lungs, making it hard to breathe.

Roy knew what this was. He had seen Liore after Scar sprung his trap on Frank Archer's command. It had been the same. Just empty streets and buildings, no humans, no animals, no plants, no organic material of any kind. And no bodies. As if the humans had been erased into nothing, leaving nothing behind to prove that they had ever been there. It was hard to believe that this enormous graveyard lay hidden beneath the lively, vibrant city of Central.

For a moment, Roy wondered how many humans had lived here. How many humans had been sacrificed here.

"How..." Roy needed to find his voice again. The sound of his human voice appeared strangely out of place here. "Is this where you woke up? And found Ed?" The thought of anything good happening in this place, let alone twice, felt like blasphemy.

Al nodded, and answered his question with more detail than Roy expected.

"The first time, I didn´t really notice much about this place," the young man admitted. "I woke up very disoriented, and overwhelmed by intense sensations tingling all over my body. You know what it feels like when your arm or leg falls asleep, and then the feeling starts to come back?" Roy nodded that he did. "I felt like that all over. And I didn't know where I was, or how I got here, or who Rose was, or what had happened to my brother." Alphonse shrugged. "I really wasn't in any condition to take in the details of my surroundings."

Roy could certainly understand that. It must have seemed to the younger Elric that the whole world had gone crazy. In the blink of an eye he had been transported from the basement of his childhood home to a deserted city hundreds of miles away.

Alphonse continued. "The second time I came here, I realized what this place must be, and what had happened here." There he stopped, but it wasn´t necessary to elaborate. Even without the memory of how a philosopher's stone was created, Al was an alchemist, and the Colonel knew the youngster recognized the remains of an alchemic massacre just as easily as he had. "I doubt I could have found my way back here if Wrath hadn't shown me the way," the young blond said quietly.

"Wrath?" The homunculus? "He´s alive?" Roy said, startled. For a moment, he contemplated strangling both Elrics. First Envy, now Wrath? What was next? At least Roy was sure that Pride was taken care of. From what Ed told him before he disappeared, Lust and Sloth were gone for good as well, and Al himself had once hinted that Greed was dead as well, though Edward had been strangely silent over that particular homunculus' fate.

"Ah, no. He… uhm…" Maybe the urge to kick some Elric butts was still visible on Roy's face, as Al flinched at the look he received, and actually blushed embarrassed. "Uhm…." The uncomfortable blond was obviously considering just what he was going to say.

Roy hoped his companion wasn't thinking of hiding something important from him. "Alphonse…" Roy growled in warning. Oh damn, the hurt puppy was back. But at least the young man hurried to answer him.

"He died to open the gate," the youngster rushed out, eyes cast down.

Roy realized he should have expected this. This was what had happened to Envy as well. Al's explanation only left one thing open.

"Homunculi can´t use alchemy," the Colonel pointed out, and the moment he saw the guilt cloud Al's features, he knew what happened. "You performed the transmutation, using the homunculus to open the Gate. That´s a surprise." And it was. Alphonse Elric was the last person Roy would have expected of using a living being, even a soulless homunculus, in a terminal transmutation.

"He begged me to do it." The blond admitted quietly, the weight of his actions bowing his shoulders with the burden of his guilt. "He even let Gluttony -"

"Gluttony!" Great, another homunculus. Roy really, really needed to have a serious talk with the two alchemy prodigies. "And just why didn´t you tell anyone else about this?" And why couldn´t Al stop looking like that? Roy wouldn´t be able to get any satisfaction from strangling the blond with that sad, defeated look on his face. The Colonel would be more inclined to give him a nice, comforting hug, and that would _not_ be very productive at the moment.

"A- I´m sorry, Sir."

The moment the young man stammered out the apology, Roy felt like a jerk. He was back to 'Sir' again. That´s what he got for scaring the young teen. And considering that Colonel Mustang had been just short of being a complete stranger, it was understandable that Al hadn´t told him about this. Sighing in defeat, Roy asked the young man to start his story from the beginning, and to lead him to the place where he had woken up the first time he had been here.

While the young man guided him through the abandoned streets, he told Roy how he had seen Edward in the other world, spoke to him, when Alphonse' soul had become attached to a suit of armor that had returned there. He told Roy how he had met the homunculus, Wrath, and what the sin had proposed to him, a way to bring his brother home. He told the older man how he had come here to get his brother back, how Gluttony had attacked, and what had happened to both sins. And he told how he had opened the Gate.

"How did you know which array to use?" Roy asked, intrigued. Even for an alchemic genius like Al, it should have taken days, perhaps even weeks, to design such a complex array. But the young alchemist only shrugged.

"I … I saw it at the Gate." Roy didn´t have to tell the young man to elaborate. Al was past the point of holding things secret anymore. "Sometimes I remember things," he continued. "Brief images, gone before I even know what I´m seeing. When Wrath brought me here, the array was suddenly there, clear in my mind, and I knew it was the right one."

So Al _did_ remember, even if just a bit. Roy wondered what else the young man had recalled, however briefly. He also wondered if the youth had told his brother about these fleeting memories. Probably not. Roy kept his sigh to himself, not commenting on the many ways the two brothers were actively sabotaging their relationship. Instead he asked about something else that had bothered him about the story Ed had told him.

"Was Edward alone when he came through? Did you see anyone else?" Ed had mentioned that the dominant political party had plans to invade, though it was obvious that they hadn´t been successful.

Al´s steps faltered for a moment, but he didn´t turn around. "Uhm… I didn't see anyone, but I wasn't expecting to, so I really wasn't paying attention."

No big surprise that he had been distracted. Al had just found his missing brother, who he had spent years searching for. And it likely never occurred to him that something or someone else could have passed through the Gate, for good or ill. Roy didn´t point out the recklessness of his actions. The young man already knew that he taken a terrible risk, and had even apologized. There was no sense in pushing him even more.

The arrival at their destination brought the discussion to an end.

It had once been some kind of plaza. Now it was a crumbled ruin, ornate pillars shattered, flagstones cracked and seeping water. While everything Roy had seen of the hidden city showed only the ravages of passing time, this place had clearly been witness to a terrible battle.

"This is where I opened the Gate, and brought my brother home," Al said quietly.

Roy had already seen the array, or what was left of it. Someone, likely Alphonse himself, had done his best to erase it from the ground. Only small pieces could be seen – a faded arc here, part of a hermetic symbol there - and Roy was sure that but for the fact that he was looking for it, and that he was also an alchemist, he wouldn't even have noticed them. Most likely, the array had been destroyed so it couldn't be reactivated, by accident or design.

Alphonse waited patiently while Roy took in the scene, lost in the memory of the day he had used this array to find his brother, and when he noticed that the older man had finished his examination of the site, he lead Roy away, deeper into the city.

"I'll show you the place where I woke up," the young man said softly.

Neither alchemist felt the need to resume their discussion, and their new destination was not far. Al made a beeline for a grand, imposing structure and pushed his way through the large wooden doors, Roy close behind.

And once again, it was not what Roy had expected. A ballroom of some kind. The Colonel felt a strange sort of discontinuity, that this place could be witness to events of such import. On the other hand, why not a ballroom? He had killed Bradley in a cellar. Hughes had almost died in a telephone booth. It wasn't like it really mattered where things happened. The important thing was _what_ had happened. And that was what Roy was here to discover.

The first thing that caught Roy's eye was the transmutation circle that nearly filled the entire floor. Without a doubt, its complex design was beyond anything he had ever seen. It was beautiful and balanced in a way that spoke of the professionalism and artistry only a master alchemist, one who practiced the art the way others breathed air, could put into an array. And he recognized the style, had seen enough of Edward's work to know it instantly. Roy felt a growing sense of excitement. They had come to find out what had happened to Edward on the day he had vanished, and they had come to the right place to get those answers, he could feel it.

The next thing Roy noticed was a dark brown stain on the floor. More of a rusty color, far from the red it once had been, but Roy recognized it immediately as old blood. And the stain was large. That much spilled blood was easily enough to kill a human. Frowning, the Colonel's gaze went back to the completed circle on the floor. This didn´t make sense. Had someone died here? Who? He couldn´t guess without knowing who had been here to begin with. So he shifted his gaze from the tainted floor to the only thing that might be able to give them clues.

The array that was currently being examined by Alphonse, who Roy freely admitted was probably much more capable of figuring out what it did than Roy was. The Colonel had no doubt that it was designed for human transmutation, and although the older man had studied the topic once, long ago, he had never gone so far as to actually attempt to formulate an array. Alphonse on the other hand had, at least once, and probably knew more about human transmutation than anyone in the country, with the exception of the former Fullmetal Alchemist.

But that did not mean Roy was useless here. Stepping to the edge, he went down on his knees to inspect the array himself. Taking his gloves of, his fingers traced the outline. Beside him, he could see the young blond tense, and felt a bit insulted. They were both alchemists, and Roy knew how to deal with an unknown, possibly dangerous array. Al relaxed after a moment, and didn´t say anything about Roy touching the design.

Instead, the young man offered a guess about the function. "Look at this," he said pointing to a combination of symbols on an inner arc. "It… uhm… it seems to need some kind of... offering." A frown made itself visible as the youngster scanned the array. "There is something missing. This can't be activated the way it is." His grey eyes continued to roam over the lines. "Maybe there's another part," he added, almost to himself. Alphonse sounded hesitant and unsure, but Roy was amazed the young man had managed decipher so much in such a short time.

Leaving the analysis of the circle to the younger alchemist, the Colonel shifted his attention back to the floor, and the lines beneath his fingers. They were either burned or carved into the solid marble. It would have taken many hours to do this by hand, but it certainly hadn't been done that way. This alchemic circle had likely been drawn in the conventional way, with chalk or something similar. What had etched the design into the floor was the alchemic reaction itself. A very violent and powerful one.

Roy's breath caught.

A violent reaction. This was something he was familiar with. Instead of his fingers, the gaze of dark eyes traced the lines in front of him. And halted at the point where it met his own hand.

"Al?" His voice broke the blond's concentration, and Alphonse looked up, gaze intense. "The missing part of this array…" Contemplating how to phrase his thoughts, Roy decided to just go for it. "Could it have been drawn on the 'offering'?"

It took Al a full five seconds to answer. Perhaps it was the way Roy had said 'offering' that distressed him. "Yes," the young man finally said, surprisingly tight-lipped.

Roy took his hands away from the circle to place the fingers of his right went over the back of his left hand, stroking marred flesh. A violent reaction indeed.

An activated circle didn´t usually leave marks behind, unless the reaction was very strong. Sometimes the medium used to draw the array was a factor. A blood array for example, drawn on the back of a hand in desperation, would leave a scar. The array on this floor was gouged in very deeply. Judging from the intensity of the reaction, Roy guessed that this activation had involved blood at some point. But the circle itself was far too big to be drawn entirely with blood. The Colonel's eyes were once again drawn to the rusty brown stain on the floor. No, still not enough. The alchemist would have to either use more than one person's blood – which was out of question, as it was Ed who had done this – or, if using his own, taken a considerable amount of time, days in fact, to gradually draw the array so as not to risk passing out or loosing focus while drawing.

A simple alternative would be to draw the blood array on the second part of the transmutation circle: the offering.

Special occasion indeed. Roy had already guessed that this day had been the 'second time' Ed had mentioned in the café. Was this what Ed meant by 'making a deal with the Gate'? Roy's mind rebelled at the thought of what Ed must have done here, tried to visualize the blood array on an object, but he already knew what it was Ed had offered. It was the only way the young man's words fit with what Roy was seeing here. And with who was standing next to him, in a living body.

Equivalent exchange.

"I think 'offering' is the wrong word," Roy said, teeth clenched. "I think the proper term would be 'sacrifice'." The Colonel was almost one hundred percent positive that his assumptions were correct, but he needed Al's expertise to confirm it.

Al's grey eyes went wide, and the alchemist turned back to the array. Biting his lips, he examined the circle, just as desperate as the Colonel to find anything that might point away from having to put _human_ in front of the 'sacrifice'. And just like Roy he seemed to know it was pointless. Still, it took a few moments before he nodded.

Having his suspicions confirmed, the Colonel stood up.

"Alright Al. We´re leaving."

And he knew exactly where they were going next.

**Tbc.**

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Whew, another serious one ^^ But at least, Roy and Al are on the right track, so you can probably guess who is going to be visited now XD


	23. Deception and Confession

**Beta**: Ca11iope ^^ Thank you, hun *hugs*

**A/Ns:** First: Some readers seem to have troubles with the plot. It´s based on the first anime and the sequel, the movie "Conqueror of Shamballa" ^^ I did change and add some things hopefully whoever doesn´t know about what parts are originally from Cos won´t have their fun ruined ._. I also tried to keep it both vague enough to not tell you too much and hope it will be understandable even when without the background. If not, please let me know.

Second: Sorry for taking so long again ._. To make up for the huge delay: This chapter is longer than usual ^^ I can´t say anything about when the next one will be out, but considered exams are starting in july, it probably will not take this long. The day´s between the exams is usually when I write the most XD

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Catalog Cats: Thank you for pointing it out ^^ And thank you for saying it's not a bad thing ._. I´ve been afraid it would be out of place with the rest. I´m doing that in hopes to keep the story interesting. And make the plot believable ._. I don´t think I can write about something like Ed´s and Al´s situation in the same way I´m writing about Roy not getting any and suffering from it ^-^ Considering you´re still here, I have hopes you like the whiplashes (does that sound dirty to you as well? XD )

AlistairAmore: How about some equivalent exchange? I forgive you for the lacked comment and you forgive me for taking so long ^^° Don´t take this serious, I know, not leaving a comment is not exactly something I can forgive you (on the contrary, I´m happy when you do comment, as it´s of course your free choice to leave a review ^^). Anyway, your right about the driving me nuts part XD I can´t await the time when I get to torture Roy again :3 But for now, there will be some threads tangled up before he gets to suffer again XD

uhm… up my sleeves?... XD Enough asses to win more than one round of poker at once ^.~ but I save the surprises for later ^-^

Sachiel Angelo: Uhm…. ^^° Did I mention somewhere the answer to the ring- question comes this chapter? If I did, I really have to apologize for my poor choice of words ._. I can however promise, there will be a hint before this week is over (meaning week 3 of the bet and now it´s Thursday ^.~) and some information – yes, real information - will follow soon ^^ After that, you will be able to answer some of your questions. Does that make you feel better? ^^

As to who will be visited: enjoy reading the chapter ^^

Proser132: So true XD Except for the 'your ass is so screwed' part :D Unfortunately, a bet is currently saving Ed's ass from getting screwed, but he is indeed in trouble ^-^

The story is evolving, but Prahler isn´t the only thread left open ^^

I´ll have you know, your praise is making me brushing and I´m honored you enjoy reading the fic so much :D However, I have to redirect some of it to my dearest beta, who is improving every chapters quality :D I hope you don´t mind.

XxKat-OF-ShadowsxX: I´m amazed how many people are suspicious of Darren XD Either I´m making you guys paranoid or I put in more of a rat into his character than I originally planned to be known ^^ Anyway, I´m just glad you guys like the story despite the different direction it took :D Thank you for still reading it and commenting on it!

NoukaKatsumi: ^-^ I have no idea 'what took you so long' – maybe my crappy summary *cough* - but I´m happy you found your way here XD Not complaining, just quoting ^.~ Thank you very much for your review, I really enjoyed it :D

I agree on Roy being a bastard ^-^ I usually take different approaches to the character-interpretation with every story. Depending on ones view, this leaves amazingly much room oO As for this stories interpretation, to be honest, I even like that he´s annoying you :D Because I think you will enjoy him getting a few lessons, won´t you?

Thank you for 'swooing' over Ed *hug* I´m happy you like him so much ^-^ and that you enjoy the altered Cos-verse ^^ I´m excited and honored the story has you hooked up enough to getting as much into it as hoping for fictional characters ^-^ I will do my best to keep up with it and not let the quality suffer ._.

Just to let you know: The story has still a good bit of chapters unwritten, so you can still enjoy it for some time ^.~

And although you don´t have to, feel free to leave long comments. I love them ;-P However, I hope you don´t mind long answers XD  
Fnick's Witness: Darren is generally not liked very much ^^° Could be because he is a bit of an idiot ^^° You´re not messed up ... okay, maybe you are, but you´re at least in good company and in a good way ^.~ The bit of seriousness is necessary, I hope it didn´t bother you too much ._. sorry if it did.

:D My fingers are itching to torture the bastard, so Roy will have to suffer soon and the humor will be back ^-^

Kurohika: Thank you, that´s the most positive thing anyone had to say about him XD

Redchicken888: Uhm… maybe I should change the summary a bit to warn people? ^^ But I´m happy you liked the chapter. It leaves me a bit of hope that you like the development as well ^^°

LoveNote: Yes, I love cliffhanger :3 About the sacrifice: that´s indeed part of the first anime, so you were not supposed to figure it out :D The storylines of the first and the brotherhood-inspired anime are different on some point and I really don´t know which one I like more ^^ There´s a "sequel" to the first anime, the movie Conqueror of Shamballa ^-^ This fic is based on both the first anime and CoS, but I took some liberties as well. You won´t find all the things here in the anime/movie. I´m trying to keep it vague and leave bit´s out so I won´t have to retell the whole first anime and CoS ._. I don´t want to spoiler you guys too much if you decide to watch them. Ah, about Roy killing Bradley in a cellar: yes. But 'Wrath' was sacrificed by Alphonse ^^° They are not the same person, but for this, I really recommend watching the first movie.

o-Jeff-o: Thank you, I will pass the praise on to my beta who really deserves it :D I´m happy every time she sends the chapters back because of how much she improves the parts =^.^= She´s like the luxury version of a beta *purr*

There is one good thing about finding out the part is out later: your wait for the next chapter is shorter :D Roy and Al are making progress and I think you can guess who is going to be visited now ^^ enjoy the 'reunion' and let me know what you think about it as I´m curious if it´s close to what you thought it would be ^^

Cynder81: XD yes, he is. But even if Roy is mad, he still is trying to help him, so let´s see where that will lead ^^I´m happy you enjoy finding out things, as this fic still has some unanswered questions and a few things to find out ^.~ I hope you will like it.

Yui eiri: I´m happy to read you loved it ^-^ And that you liked the way the relationship developed so far :3 I know it took long for them to even get together, but I hope you like the change from all the PWP in the net ^-^ (nothing against pwp ;-P) It´s nice to read you enjoy reading Roy getting his share of suffering ^-^ And I really hope you will enjoy the rest of it :D Thank you for the rewiev, hun ^-^

TheNinjaAlchemist95: I´m excited you like the seriousness ^-^ The humor (torture of Roy Mustang) is fun, but I´ve been afraid it would get boring after over 20 chapters ^.~

Faery Goddyss: Thank you for letting me know ^^ Since your comment is for chapter 16, I would like to warn you that there will be another chapter with Roy suffering a lot, but I will do my best to balance future chapters better :D

M S N G R: Thank you very much *bows*. I loved your comment ^^ It´s nice to read about your thoughts (and admittedly a bit strange to have someone call ones story 'epic' XD But speaking about epic: your emoticon rocks XD I've never seen it before ^^ ) I'm excited you enjoy the story so much ^-^ And vote for the General XD he needs all the help he can get ^-^ And maybe a good therapist to convince it that it's owner is not an idiot XD

Don´t feel bad about not figuring out where who will be visited next ^^ You haven´t been the only one and I guess it has been as clear about it as I thought :D So, now you get a surprise XD

Okay, so I´m trying to answer your questions without spoilering you ^^ let´s say, Roy is convinced this is a pure physical affair. But he also has been convinced that he would win the bet without any trouble ^.~ I´m sorry to say, but a more detailed answer will spoiler you and maybe ruin your fun in the later chapter, so please forgive me for not being more clear about it ^^ Same goes for Hughes, but you will soon find out more about it. Even this chapter ^^

About the route for this fic: the original idea was just the bet. To be honest, I have been tempted to post 'the bet' as a kink meme post for someone else to write ^^° Mainly because I´m not native English and I didn´t feel comfortable about writing/posting in English. However, I´ve been lucky enough to find a wonderful beta who helped me and is still doing an amazing job.

As for the inspirations with the anime or brotherhood: I watched brotherhood after I wrote the first two chapters and didn´t want to change the plot again. The change from 'just the bet' to the plot-development(s) was due to personal preferences. I don´t like OOC and wanted to make the characters convincing, ergo they needed motives, developments and some character ^^ Furthermore, I think there are not enough fics out there with the whole romance-development. The rest… breeding plot bunnies on speed ^^°

Uhm… sorry ^^° I have the feeling I kinda overdid it with the answer ._. Enjoy the reading ^^

Kawai-Chibi666: Well, he tried to protect his brother ^^° Well… men never take directions as well and drink milk out of the bottle. How can we expect to understand them? XD

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**The Bet of the Year**

**Chapter 22: Deception and Confession **

Pounding on Ed's door in the middle of the night could be developing into a habit, since this was the second time in as many days that Roy found himself doing so. Building on his experience from the night before, he quickly settled into a steady, rhythmic tempo – not too hard or fast as to hurt his knuckles, but not too soft and slow to be ignored by the apartment's occupant. Roy also knew from previous experience that it could take a while to get a response.

Behind him, and a good bit down the hallway, was Alphonse, who was nervously shifting from foot to foot. He seemed reluctant to close the distance, though Roy's plan included Alphonse staying out of sight. The young man had been hesitant to come here, given the Colonel's current state of mind. Even though it had taken quite some considerable time to climb back up out of the underground city, Roy was still livid over what they had discovered there. In fact, given time to think about what Edward had done to restore his brother, Roy was even more pissed off than he had been initially. Alphonse had suggested that they wait to confront his brother after the Colonel had taken some time to cool down, but Roy refused. His patience at the moment was shorter than Ed had ever been.

Roy continued to hammer away at the door, occasionally giving it a kick for good measure. Down the corridor, Al winced and looked torn between either continuing to follow Roy's lead, or dragging the older man out of the building. The only thing stopping him was the promise Roy had made to the young man on the way to Ed's apartment – that he would not hurt Edward. Of course Roy had no intention of hurting the older brother, so that promise was easy to make. Even furiously angry, Roy was not by nature a violent man.

The moment the rudely awakened and therefore pissed off blond alchemist flung open his door, he was gripped hard by his automail arm and shoved roughly inside. Roy could see the effort Ed made to keep his martial reflexes from coming into play, though no sound escaped the younger alchemist other than an angry growl. The blond's temper built as Roy propelled him into the kitchen, giving Al the opportunity to slip into the apartment, unnoticed by his older brother, and close the door behind him. The impending confrontation was not something anyone other than the three alchemists should hear.

With a hiss, Edward yanked his arm free and damn, he looked gorgeous, angry gold eyes aflame, blond hair was messy from sleep. And while he was on the topic: was it Roy's imagination, or was this shirt shorter than the last one? Roy tried to not let himself be distracted by Ed's sleepwear. At least not too much. It was hard not to appreciate the view. Roy tried his best not to stare at Ed's legs. For too long. Right now he needed to concentrate on other things. He wouldn´t be able to do what he had to if he paid too much attention to the blond's appearance.

The moment Ed opened his mouth to say some things that were probably far from polite, he was interrupted.

"I didn´t know your idea of 'making a deal' included suicide," Roy snapped.

To give him credit, Edward didn´t even try to fool Roy by acting confused. Instead, he went from 'pissed off' to 'on guard'. It was still strange to see him quickly reining in his temper in such a calculated way, but by now Roy was getting used to it, and could deal with it.

"It doesn´t," was Ed's carefully considered reply.

"Oh really?" Roy bit back, undeterred by Ed's denial. "So just what would _you_ call sacrificing yourself to the Gate?"

"Just what I _did_ call it. Making a deal." Calmly stated as a fact.

Roy felt his own temper flare in response to Ed's cavalier disregard for his own life. The situation was bizarre, a distorted mirror image of their usual interactions. Typically Roy was the calm one, in control, systematically working his way to the truth of the matter, and Ed was the passionate one, on the defensive, a bundle of barely controlled emotions. Reining in his anger, the Colonel forced himself to calm, at least outwardly. It took a lot more effort than it should have. Damn it, the kid always had a knack for pushing his buttons, but Roy couldn't allow himself to go off on a rant like some prepubescent brat!

"You can´t tell me you didn´t consider the possibility that the gate would simply take your life. That is not the standard definition of a deal," Roy said, voice coldly objective, betraying none of his inner turmoil.

And in turmoil he was. The intensity of his reaction to what he and Alphonse had discovered had Roy severely off balance. He was on fire, reflexively ready to act, to do _something_. Snap his fingers. Hit the man. Kiss him. Grab him and hold on tight, not letting go any time soon. Make that never. He knew he was being irrational, that this kind of behavior was completely atypical. He struggled to regain his habitually superb self control, but for once found himself unable to do so.

"It is. I requested something, and offered something of equal value. One life for another. An even trade."

How could Ed speak of this in such a dispassionate manner? This wasn't simply exchanging money for goods at the market. It was his _life_.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" The Colonel snarled. "You sound as bad as a homunculus, casually discussing human sacrifice as if a human life's only value lies in what it can be bargained away for!" It was not really fair to compare Ed to the soulless creatures that had caused Amestris so much pain, but as long as it got the reaction Roy wanted, he was willing to push at the boundaries a bit. He wanted Ed's temper back, the fire.

"It´s my life," Ed said without inflection. "I should have been dead anyway." And Ed's mouth snapped shut, realizing his mistake. He'd said too much, and his control suddenly vanished.

And Roy finally got to see what was hiding behind that control, a glimpse of what had been buried.

Golden eyes overflowed with the guilt they had concealed all these long years. Roy recalled all the times Ed had stated that he should have been the one that the Gate took. He should have been the one who had to live in unfeeling armor. What was visible in Ed´s eyes now was something that Roy couldn´t describe but had seen before. In the eyes of battle worn soldiers who had barely survived a brutal conflict, who had faced death knowing they wouldn´t make it, but somehow did.

But Ed's words were not the usual 'it-should-have-been-me' line born by a guilty conscience. It was there in his tone. When he said he should have been dead, he was stating a fact.

"That blood stain in the opera house by the array," Roy said, slowly piecing together the facts. "Someone suffered a fatal wound there. It was your blood, wasn't it."

The Colonel was conscious of Alphonse' anguished gasp, but Roy's eyes never left Edward's, and he was relieved to note that Ed had not noticed the small quiet sound his hidden brother had let slip. Good. There was no way Edward would speak freely if he knew his brother was listening, and Roy was very close to getting Ed to finally spill it.

Biting his lip, Ed didn´t say anything, but Roy could see that it was not for the lack of wanting to. The young man was struggling with his words, disturbed by what he was being forced to confess. And if he was about to confess to what the evidence pointed to . . .

Evidence or not, was it possible? Had Edward actually been . . . dead?

Not surprisingly, Roy found it very difficult to wrap his head around the idea that the man in front of him could have died, but with a Philosopher Stone involved, it was entirely possible. The bits and pieces of this puzzle, Roy's analysis of the situation, all lead to the same, fantastic conclusion. But it wasn't the rational side of Roy's mind that refused to accept what Edward had all but admitted. Roy's insides felt cold, and a heavy lump in his throat made it hard for the older man to breathe. The beginning of a headache announced itself with a slight pulsing behind his temples.

What was wrong with him? Colonel Roy Mustang was used to pressure; it usually took much more than this to get him to the point where his control came undone. The last time he had been thrown off balance to this degree had been when Maes Hughes had nearly been killed. This wasn't like that. Ed was in front of him, safe and alive. Roy would need to sort this out later, as Ed finally got a hold of himself enough to continue.

"I died," the young man reluctantly stated, finally confirming what Roy already knew. "Envy killed me. I was standing at the Gate, and then I woke up in the underground city. My arm and leg were restored, but Al was nowhere to be found. Rose was there. She said . . ." Edward stopped, reliving that horrible moment, and Roy did not push, letting him take his time. After a moment, his patience was rewarded. "She said that Al was gone. I realized that he had used the Stone to bring me back."

Breathing a shaky breath, Edward's eyes never wavered from Roy's, though they were full of pain at the thought of a world without Al. "I couldn't let him make that sacrifice for me. The whole mess was my fault. I'm the older brother. I should have been looking out for Al, protecting him. Instead I lost his body and put him in that amour. He shouldn't have to pay for my stupid mistake. So . . ." another deep breath, "I convinced Rose to leave me there, and . . . transmuted myself to get to the Gate. And made my deal. Me for Al. It was the only way to make things right."

Although he had long suspected that the disappearance of the older Elric was directly related to Alphonse being found with a human body, Roy still felt numb to hear Edward acknowledge what he had done, and oddly enough, betrayed. Had the young man even stopped to think about the people he was leaving behind? The Rockbells, the Curtises, Roy's team, and… and Roy himself? And what about Al?

Al. Who was standing just out of sight in the living room, listening to everything Edward had just admitted.

Al. Who still had many questions that only Edward could answer.

After a few seconds of staring at the blond alchemist, Roy finally found his voice.

"You´re an idiot," the older man stated flatly.

Ed blinked at the statement. "What?"

"You heard me. I said you´re an idiot. A moron. Stupid."

Anger was creeping back into golden eyes, growing with each synonym for Roy's estimate of the young man's intelligence, gradually replacing his agonized expression. While often called childish, Ed was still a prodigy, and was therefore not used to someone calling his intelligence into question. The anger won and Ed was ready to snap back, more than eager to avoid going into the details of his untimely death.

"You´re -"

"You sure you have a functioning brain?" Roy interrupted. "Or is your ability to think as limited as your height?"

Now the man looked ready to kill him, temper barely controlled and about to snap. It was a pure delight. And while Roy should probably be mapping out his escape from Ed's wrath right now, it was exhilarating to see the fire return to golden eyes, to see his face flush in anger and the tension coil in his body.

"What the fuck are you-"

"Did you even think about Al for a moment?"

"Have you listened to a word I said, you dumb shit?" This time Ed managed to finish the sentence through sheer force of volume, his roar drowning Roy's interruption.

But a roaring Fullmetal didn´t impress the Colonel. Quite the contrary. This characteristic behavior was a relief, and something Roy knew how to deal with. Putting on a smirk, the Colonel crossed his arms and deliberately looked down on the man, which did nothing to sooth the blond's temper.

"Oh, I've been listening very closely," the Colonel corrected his former subordinate's misconception. "And it's always the same old story. You just went ahead, acting impulsively without considering the consequences of your actions, leaving your messes for everyone else to clean up. Just like you always do."

"This is not some damn building I crashed, you fucker." The growl was rough with rage. "The only consequence I cared about was Al!"

"And the Gate has been so reasonable in the past, you were sure it would be satisfied with a friendly chat before it sent you both back?"

"Like fuck! But I had to try."

Behind Ed in the living room, a very pale Alphonse stepped out from behind the door jamb, but enraged as he was, Ed didn´t notice the person standing a few meters behind him. Instead of looking in Al´s direction and betray his presence, Roy decided to make his point perfectly clear.

"You could have died. And it could have been for nothing," he stated, but just as expected, the former Fullmetal countered very directly.

"But it worked."

The bratty reply was so familiar, Roy was reminded of all the times Ed screwed up his missions but somehow miraculously still managed to get the job done, though that success was often accompanied by a huge bill for restitution. And just like old times, the Colonel leveled a cold glare on the younger man. Then as now, Ed was not intimidated, though now the Colonel's glare failed to provoke him further.

But Roy was not finished with him yet. There was still a loose end that needed to be tied up.

"So, your brother gave his life to save yours. And you turned around and risked it, saving his."

Ed's eyes narrowed warily at this restatement of what he had already admitted. "Yeah, so? What are you driving at?" The young man's patience was wearing thin, and he didn't want to deal with his former superior's cryptic hints.

"So, if Al had woken up with his memories intact, he would have found himself in the same position you did. And what do you think he would have done?"

Ed´s eyes narrowed and he frowned. Then he caught on to what Roy was implying. If he'd ever seen Edward really struck dumb, it had to be at this moment. Staring at his commanding officer, the man opened his jaw, then closed it and after a few seconds opened it again.

"Are you _joking_ about this?" Edward's voice betrayed his doubt. Of course the Colonel and his former subordinate had always used almost every opportunity to tease and taunt each other, but never about something as serious as this.

"I have never been more serious about anything in my life," Roy assured him. "Alphonse had already used the stone and his own life once to save you, and-"

"And what?" Edward obviously found his balance again. "Do you think he would have tried to trade his life for mine too? Do you think we would have gone on and on, trading our lives back and forth until one of us screwed up, or we annoyed the damn Gate enough to kill us both?" Shaking his head, Ed's voice was firm with his conviction. "Al's not that stupid. He wouldn't have done that."

In the living room behind Edward, the younger Elric took one quiet step closer to his brother.

"You're wrong, Edward," the Colonel said resolutely. "You are just as important to him as he is to you. He most certainly would have continued to try to get you back." And the determined look Roy could now see on Al´s face was confirmation enough that the younger Elric would have done so without hesitation.

But Edward held to his stubborn claim. "He wouldn´t."

Sighing in annoyance, the Colonel insisted. "He would." A glance to Alphonse and the boy moved another step closer to the arguing pair.

"He wouldn't."

Damn, Edward was stubborn. And this was getting ridiculous. He could use a little help against the hard-headed alchemist and his unshakeable belief in his younger brother. "He would."

"He wouldn´t."

"I would."

* * *

Hawkeye hadn´t said a word. Nor had she so much as glanced at the clock after the call to Hughes, shortly after the official start to Roy Mustang´s office hours. But as the minutes ticked passed, the tension in the office became more and more unbearable.

"He´s late," Kain Fury nervously stated the obvious, unable to stand the silence any longer.

For a moment, the rest of the team held their collective breath, glancing covertly towards the only female present, awaiting her reaction. But before she could so much as open her mouth, the door swung open and Maes Hughes entered the scene, successfully easing the tension by announcing, "He´s at Ed´s apartment. My man saw him enter the building earlier. With Alphonse Elric."

Roy's team exchanged relieved glances. Mustang could look after himself of course, but for the last few hours no one had been able to pin down where the man had gone, and with all the plotting and scheming the Colonel did in his rise through the ranks, well . . .

That Alphonse was in town had surprised all of them. Almost as much as Roy being able to loose Maes' surveillance team at a church.

"I still don´t get it. Why did Al visit Roy and not Ed?" Doodling in his notes, Havoc had attempted to figure this out.

"Well, Ed wasn't home last night. Maybe that´s why Al went to the Colonel's house," Kain guessed, but the red-headed second Lieutenant shook his head.

"Ed wouldn´t have gone out for dinner if he knew Al was visiting." Breda pointed out and Hughes grinned broadly, seeing someone else reach the same conclusion as he had.

"Yes. If he knew. I don´t think Al told Ed he was coming." Hughes had been the one dining with the former Fullmetal after all. He was sure Ed had no idea his brother was in Central. At least until now. "But Roy brought Al with him to Ed´s place."

"Maybe this was something they all had planned," Fuery offered, but Maes didn´t even acknowledge the throw-in and continued unimpressed.

"And they left Al's luggage at Roy´s place," the Investigations officer added.

"Huh?" Havoc blinked. That didn´t make much sense. It´s almost as if Al intended to stay at the Colonel's house instead of his brother's place. But that was just weird.

"I´m sure all will become clear," Hawkeye shut the current topic down cold and shifted her attention back to Hughes. "Before I call him -" the announcement was accompanied by several winces from the males of Roy's regular staff, but Lieutenant Hawkeye ignored them and continued "- we can use his absence for a briefing. What did you find out yesterday?"

Everyone settled in for a long report of all the miniscule, petty details Hughes had managed to pry out of the former Fullmetal Alchemist.

What they got had most of them shaking their heads in disbelief.

Maes gave them a boyish grin and a shrug and stated in the voice of someone picking up a challenge, "He's gotten rather tight-lipped with regard to his private life over the years."

* * *

Alcohol was currently the best idea Roy could come up with.

Roy had never expected to find Ed and Al in a situation where both of them didn´t exactly know how to relate to each other. Unfortunately, he didn´t really know how to help them either, so he fell back on a time tested and nearly foolproof method for breaking the ice: pour some alcohol into the mix. Preferably the strong stuff.

While he searched through the cupboards in Edward´s kitchen, the Colonel felt Elric gazes burn into his back. Edward was seriously pissed off about Roy's deception. And understandably, Al was probably still in shock over his brother's admission regarding the value of his own life in comparison to Alphonse'.

At the start of his journey to find his brother and his memories, Al had been absolutely innocent. Without the memories of his time as a soul bound to armor, he was back to being an innocent ten-year-old boy. He had no notion of the extreme desperation of the situation he had been in with his brother back then, and nothing he could have learned of his past from outsiders while travelling was comparable to living the experience. There was a grave difference between knowing and doing.

When he transmuted Wrath, Al for the first time had been given a glimpse of what his past had been like. He had experienced how easily a life could be lost. And now he had discovered what sacrifice he himself had made for his brother, and what Edward had done for him. Perhaps he was beginning to understand Ed's reluctance to tell him about his missing years. Roy felt the upmost sympathies for the young man for having to deal with this. He almost regretted his actions, but at the same time he knew that this was the best way for Al to understand what had driven Ed and guided his actions. Alphonse needed to acknowledge the depth, the severity of the situation back then, needed to realize how hard every step, every decision had been. Otherwise he would remain an outsider, despite having lived through it.

And an outsider's judgment was usually harsh, smug with tightly held morals, and rarely fair.

"What are you looking for?" Ed asked, annoyed. Likely the question had been asked simply to break the silence, but Roy had expected Ed to break that silence by saying entirely different things to him. While Al struggled to comprehend the situation, all the while observed by his worried brother, Edward had sent more than a few scathing looks Roy´s way.

The Colonel knew looks couldn´t kill. He would have been dead a long time ago if they could. And dragged back from hell to be killed again.

And it certainly wasn´t the first time he'd dealt with an irate Fullmetal. The young man's heated glares had no effect on his former commander. What made Roy turn away and so thoroughly occupy himself with searching through Ed´s kitchen was the _betrayal_ in those amber eyes.

He wasn´t used to getting that kind of look from his people. And he hadn't really betrayed Ed. In the end, what he had done had been for the benefit of the brothers, but Edward certainly didn't see it that way. From his point of view, and even from Roy´s own perspective, the former Fullmetal had every right to feel betrayed.

So much for gaining Ed´s trust. Damn it.

Sighing deeply, Roy closed the current cupboard and went to inspect the next one. "Do you have any alcohol?" he asked as he continued his search.

"No. I don´t drink."

Sure, that´s why he downed all that wine on more than one occasion in Roy´s company. Well, maybe that had been _because_ _of_ Roy´s company.

"Cooking sherry then?"

"On the top shelf."

Huh? He'd just looked there. Roy had observed various cooking and baking ingredients, but nothing alcoholic. So either Edward was mistaken, had used it up, or… standing on his toes, Roy peeked to the back of the shelf.

It would have taken forever to find the damn stuff back there. Even the Colonel had to stretch and lean on the countertop to get the bottle out. Which brought him to one conclusion.

"You don´t use it often, do you?" One could argue he'd said that because the wine was placed in the very back, out of the cook's reach.

Ed bristled. "Are you implying I´m short?" he growled.

Stretching up to reach the back of the top shelf, Roy almost lost his balance when an unexpected snickering came from Alphonse, and the sudden movement resulted in a bag of flour falling into the sink. Not that Ed or Roy cared.

Both turned to Al, amazed. The younger Elric blushed brightly.

It might have cracked the uncomfortable tension, if it weren´t for the silence that followed.

Roy turned back to the sherry, examining the label. Not really what one could call high percentage of alcohol, but it was not as bad as it could be.

Without comment, the Colonel tore down one of the mostly blank pages pinned to the cork bulletin board beside the door, then picked up a pen lying on the counter. Ed just watched, frowning, but making no complaint about the way Roy was taking such liberties in his home. The older man ripped the paper to remove the used part. Both Elrics watched from their places at the table as Roy slowly sketched out an array, pausing to remember the correct placement of lines and symbols.

Oddly, neither one of them stood up to get a better view.

Once he got the basic outline set, Roy was quick to calculate the exact strength he wanted for the finished product. Placing a glass on the array, the Colonel filled it with half the sherry bottle's contents, estimating that it should yield enough alcohol for a few respectable shots. When he put his fingers to the outline of the array, he could feel both Ed and Al stepping next to him, the older Elric to his left, the younger to his right.

The familiar light of the transmutation was short lived, and resulted in a clear liquid. A thick, frozen, deep-red block was floating in it, clinking against the side of the glass.

"Neat," Ed commented as he fished the ice cube out of the now high octane alcohol. He examined it, shrugged, and then cautiously tasted the thing - something only a scientist or child would do to satisfy curiosity. Not the smartest thing to do in this case. It might once have been sherry, but the alcohol-free, frozen part of that mixture obviously wasn´t as sweet as one might expect. Or as tasty as the original product, which wasn´t the best available quality to begin with. Ed´s face morphed into a grimace of pure revulsion and he quickly threw the ice into the sink. It bounced off the flour bag before hitting the bottom of the sink to shatter into pieces.

The red liquid left on Ed´s lips looked disturbingly similar to blood and Roy was glad when the blond wiped it away, using the back of his hand instead of a napkin. Thankfully, Ed went over to the sink to get rid of the red smear after placing the flour bag back into the cupboard.

"I didn´t know you knew how to do transmutations with fluids as well, Sir." Al looked up from his scrutiny of the half filled glass to Roy's face.

"Sorry to disappoint, but that trick was something I saw someone else do." Chuckling, the Colonel added. "Although he didn´t do it to get high-proof alcohol."

He expected some remark from Ed, but the former Fullmetal was surprisingly quiet. Not a good sign. Roy was not someone easily discouraged however. Taking two smaller glasses out of the cupboard, found during his earlier search, he explained the background of the array to Alphonse.

"The military has always been eager to increase the number of State Alchemist within their ranks. You can become a State Alchemist without going through the Military Academy, but the state prefers to train alchemist to obey orders." Still not a word from Ed, although the Colonel was sure the young man recalled all the times _he_ had ignored his orders as easily as Roy did. "Though it wasn't part of the standard curriculum, the Brass tried to encourage cadets at the academy to study alchemy as well." Not that it helped much, since most recruits were struggling under the 'normal' workload, and studying something else that wouldn't gain them any credits was generally out of the question.

"Was that how you got into alchemy, Sir?" Ever curious, Alphonse still stumbled over something else that brought an amused grin to Roy´s lips.

"No, I started learning alchemy well before I became a soldier. And I told you to call me Roy, didn´t I?"

That got a reaction out of Ed, but not a good one. The young man's eyes narrowed and he sent a suspicious look towards his former commanding officer. The Colonel ignored him and poured a bit of the transmuted liquid into each of the two glasses, careful to measure an amount equal to a standard shot.

"To make a long story short, they had a few State Alchemist do some demonstrations at the academy to see it they could spark an interest in the attending cadets. One of the demonstrators was Isaac McDougal, the Freezing Alchemist. He used a similar array to separate fluid solutions into their basic components. Freezing prevents the solute from immediately dissolving back into the solvent once the transmutation is done. The principle is similar to what I do with air when creating fire. I separate the oxygen from the nitrogen and use a pressure gradient to keep them apart instead of freezing, but the process is close enough that I was able to duplicate and alter McDougal´s array to suit my own purposes without much effort."

Edward still hadn't said a word, but Alphonse appeared to be interested in Roy's explanation, so the older man continued.

"The array came in handy at the academy," Roy said as he turned to the table with both glasses in hand. "Most instructors turned a blind eye to beer and wine, but no hard liquor was allowed." Handing one of the glasses to Al, he wrapped the story up as the boy carefully took the offering and inspected the content. "It tastes awful, but after the first three rounds we didn´t notice that anymore. Perfect way to get wasted."

"Are you giving my brother alcohol?" From the incredulous tone of Ed's voice, one would think giving Al one shot of cheep booze was an odious crime against humanity.

"Actually, I´m giving both of you alcohol." With that, he held out the other glass towards the older brother. Who didn´t make a single move to take it.

"You´re trying to get us drunk."

Roy guessed he deserved that. Ed was back to suspecting foul motives behind his every move. The Colonel sighed. "I´m trying to get you to relax and loosen up a bit. Trust me, this will work."

Starring daggers into his former superior, Ed turned to his brother to take the glass away from him.

"You´re not drinking that."

His actions weren´t rewarded with any success. Al just gripped the glass harder and turned half away to shield it with his body, shaking his head. "I think the Colonel knows what he´s doing." The young man said.

It pleased Roy to know that Alphonse trusted him with this. On the other hand, maybe it was purely to rebel against Edward's order. Either way, Al was dooming Roy Mustang to hell if the look on Ed´s face was any gauge of the situation.

"And it´s not like this is the first time I've had alcohol." Alphonse added, the picture of innocence.

Uh oh, he probably shouldn´t have said that.

"What do you mean, not the first time?" Appearing scandalized, the elder Elric demanded to know who had tried to get his brother drunk.

"You would know if you had been there," Al said with a pout, his meaning very clear.

A face slap maybe would have had the same effect. Or perhaps not. A slap probably wouldn´t have hit the mark as painfully as those simple words. Roy hurriedly interrupted the discussion, trying to lighten it by saying one of the worst things possible. Not that he knew that beforehand.

"Now, Ed. It was just a drink. It´s not as if someone got him drunk and took advantage of him –" The look on Ed´s face brought the sentence to an instant halt.

"What? You mean someone- who? He…. She… whoever will _so_ regret this."

Roy hastily put the glass down and reached for the young man, snagging him around the waist just in time to prevent him from storming out of the kitchen. Where he planned to go to exact revenge for his brother's hypothetical deflowering Roy had no clue.

And while this would be a perfect situation to "accidently" place his hands in more gratifying places, Roy had a bet to win, so his hold remained high around the young man's waist. Al had reacted to stop his brother at the same time, opting to clutch Fullmetal around the hips. Damn, Roy wished he could trade places. But even with both their arms around the blond, they still had trouble keeping the struggling man at bay.

"Let me go, damn it!" Edward howled. "Let me go so I can –"

"Can what?" Roy said, tightening his grip. "Killing intent or not, if I were the one molesting drunks and you walked into my house dressed like that, the first thing I would do is offer you a drink as well."

It took both Al and Ed two seconds before the point of that statement sank into their brains. The struggling stopped. While Alphonse looked at the Colonel as if the dark haired man had just grown a second head, Edward looked down himself, realizing his own state of dress. Or rather, undress.

"Uhm…."

"Yes. Now before you decide to get dressed and go kill someone for molesting your brother, I never said that anyone actually did."

"Brother, really. Nothing of the sort happened." Al reassured when they only received silence from the former Fullmetal.

"Al, please tell me you have no experience in that . . . area."

Grey eyes went wide and the younger Elric blinked. Then he let go of his brother and turned to the counter. "Where's my drink?" he asked.

"AL!" Despite still having Roy´s arms around his waist –and the Colonel felt no desire to let go anytime soon- Ed managed to twist around towards his brother.

"I'm going to pretend that you did _not_ just ask me that." Alphonse whispered, and lifted his glass.

"Alphonse, did you-"

If Roy had to guess, he would say Al likely hadn't. He was too much of the goodhearted, boy next door type who usually preferred to have their first time with someone they really cared about. On the other hand, Al was male and in puberty, so some heavy make-out sessions weren't out of the question. But to be honest, the Colonel really didn´t want t know, so he quickly interrupted Edward's attempts to find out more.

"Ed, just let it go. It´s not as if you're a blushing virgin yourself. You should know that sooner or later it´s only natural to -"

"Y-you´re not?" Al interrupted, shot glass frozen halfway to his lips. "Brother, with whom?" the younger Elric demanded to know.

While Roy would very much like to know that himself, he felt like face palming himself. How had he ended up mediating such a bizarre conversation?

Edward's face was turning a spectacular shade of red, and Roy wondered if the man actually planned to explain to his baby brother that he had lost his virginity to a man, in another world. Probably not.

"Uhm… that… I...you..." Ed stumbled over his words, obviously unable to decide how to handle his brother's pointed question. "It's not really any of your business," he weakly muttered.

"Then how is what I do, and with who, any of yours?" Al snapped back, and Roy felt his spirits rise at this Elric display of normal sibling interaction.

"I´m your _older_ brother. That makes it my business!"

Ah, emphasis on the older part to prevent Al from using the same argument in return. Roy's eyes shifted back and forth between the arguing pair. Was it his imagination, or were they reluctant to even say the word '_sex'_ in front of the other? Most people didn´t want to know the details of their siblings' sex life, but usually they admitted that it at least existed. And for these two, who had shared so much, this particular barrier was very unusual. It was clear that they had never really talked about it. Of course when Ed had hit puberty, Al was armor and Fullmetal was occupied with trying to get their bodies back. Afterwards Edward had disappeared, and when he returned there was the complication of Ed not really being the person the other expected. And vice versa. The fact that neither one suspected his sibling of having any kind of sexual experience was yet another hook stuck in the past.

And hell, even Roy had considered Edward asexual. At first.

"You would know about that if you had been here," Al snapped back, now seriously starting to get annoyed.

And Ed still didn´t stand a chance against his younger sibling when it came to fighting, physically or otherwise. The accusation was too much like what Ed always threw at Hohenheim for abandoning their family, and it struck home. "You know I couldn't stay in Rezembool. It wasn't working out," he said, subdued. The defense was not what Roy expected from the young man, but Ed could never go full out against his brother.

"Maybe it would have if you'd actually _explained_ some things to me!" The younger one accused, bringing them back to the point of the discussion, and Roy's reason for bringing Al here.

Biting his lips, the older Elric observed his brother. Then he looked up to Roy and finally seemed to realize that he was still trapped in his former superior's arms. Damn him for noticing, as the result was that Ed freed himself. His gaze went back to Al, who appeared defeated and hurt.

"Let me guess, it´s better for me to not know?" There was tired sarcasm in Alphonse' voice, as if the words had been said so often that the speaker knew it wouldn´t gain him anything, no matter how he said it.

"Uhm…" Ed looked anywhere but at his brother, whose eyes widened at this unexpected hesitant reaction. For a moment, the uncertain golden eyes bore into Roy´s own, and then the young man's gaze went back to Al.

Wordlessly Roy handed Edward the remaining shot glass, wondering if the blond would take it. If not, then Roy had really fucked up in the trust department, and would need to start from scratch under conditions much worse than before. He could see the man thinking, wondering why Roy was not drinking. Roy hoped he wouldn't insist that he do so. Because for one thing, the stuff would taste really, really awful. But would fulfill its purpose of getting Ed to relax more, which was what the alchemist really needed to do. Roy was sure his former subordinate knew that, and had already made his decision, but it was not an easy step to take.

Ed may have faced monsters in both human form and otherwise, but this situation was something entirely else. Edward had already admitted his fear of Al´s reaction towards his own actions, of how the knowledge of what they had done during their travels, the good, but especially the bad, would affect Al. After all, the tale was far from a bedtime-story.

The five seconds Ed took to make his decision whether or not to drink the result of Roy's transmutation felt like an eternity. Then the young man moved fast, taking the glass and downing it in one go. A second later his face was once again the very portrait of disgust, and a few dry coughs forced their way through his lips.

That reaction was relatively mild. The first time Roy had done this transmutation, Maes had been glued to the water-tap just so he could gulp cold water without needing to refill a glass. Roy himself hadn´t been able to speak for a week without the rasping sound of an abused throat. But that had been his first try and he hadn´t been very good at balancing fluids back then. It had taken some practice to improve his skills. Good thing he hadn´t forgotten how in all the intervening years.

"Fuck, that stuff´s nasty." Ed forced through his coughs, voice rough, and oh damn, it reminded Roy at the worse possible moment of a lover's voice after a night of screams and moans and all the delicious sounds one could provoke.

Swallowing hard and ignoring the heat that thoughts of such a night with Ed provoked in his groin, the Colonel noticed that Al had put his untouched glass aside after his brother's reaction to the alcohol. The younger man didn´t say anything however, unsure about what was going on.

"You're right," Edward finally said when he'd gotten the cough under control. "We need to talk."

Al's reaction was almost ridiculously unspectacular. He blinked and stared. "Really?" he squeaked, sounding like he couldn't believe what he had just heard. He probably didn´t, as he knew exactly how stubborn his brother could be.

Instantly, the annoyance was back on the older Elric's face. After managing to get the words out, the first thing he got was denial.

"Really." He snapped. Then he seemed to remember who he was talking to and guilt became evident on his face. In a much softer voice he added, "There are a lot of things I need to tell you."

**tbc.**

* * *

Roy is a sneaky bastard ^_^°


	24. Interrogation

**Beta&Co-Author:** Ca11iope ^^ Thank you, dear :D

**A/N:** Just to let you know: for everyone commenting on my beta´s work, I wrote her any you guys made her day ^-^

* * *

**The Bet of the Year**

**Chapter 23: Interrogation **

If there was one thing Maes Hughes prided himself on – aside from his excellent taste in women and his superb parenting skills – it was his expertise in information gathering and interrogation. He had been assigned to the Investigations Division of the Amestrian military straight out of the academy, handpicked by his department head, Major General Schnuffeln, and had long been acknowledged as one of its finest officers. His track record, a long list of sucessful investigations, spoke for itself. Maes Hughes knew how to find things out. Big or small, no secret was safe. And that's what made this current self-assigned investigation so intriguing. It was a challenge.

An unexpected challenge.

When Maes had invited himself along to Edward's accidental job interview, he had expected to quickly and easily harvest the information he needed from Ed, and then formulate a tentative plan of action to relay to his bet partners based on what he learned. Amazingly, Edward had thwarted Hughes' every effort to gain insight into the young alchemist's current relationship with Roy, effectively stonewalling the Intelligence officer at every turn.

It wasn't as if Hughes hadn't gained _any_ information. He had managed to get the young man to admit that he and Roy were on better terms than in the past, but that was something Maes had already known thanks to the surveillance team covering Roy. For such a seasoned expert, Maes hadn't been able to glean any useful new intelligence at all.

In fact, he'd gotten even less from Ed than he likely could have weaseled out of Roy himself, now that the two old friends were at odds because of this bet. For a moment, Maes regretted the rift this wager had created, but quickly dismissed the thought. This was just a friendly game, a way to finally hook his best friend up with a decent woman, and would have no great influence on their friendship once it was over. And whatever Roy might have told Maes would likely have been a variation of what the dark haired Don Juan always said about any sexual quarry he currently had his eye on, any time he felt sufficiently challenged by an attractive temptation to mention her.

But this time Edward Eric was that temptation.

To be honest, Maes had found the explicit lecture centered around Edward that Roy had given his office staff quite disturbing. The Hughes, Maes and Gracia both, had always regarded both Elric brothers with a parental fondness, and the Investigations officer still saw Ed as the young boy whose birthday matched that of his daughter, who wore a red coat like a challenge, and who exploded into histrionics at every perceived mention of his height, or lack thereof. Maes had to remind himself that Ed was now of legal age, no longer a child by any stretch of the means. The older man had to get over his memories of the child Ed was, and move into the present, where Edward was, quite frankly, a stunning young man.

The surprise dinner meeting certainly helped Maes with that particular problem. He no longer saw Edward as a child, nor even as the teen who had returned from wherever he had been. What Maes now saw was a person perfectly suited to Roy Mustang's pattern of predation, and it worried him. Ed had never seemed to be the type of person who would only be interested in having a bit of fun and then moving on. He didn´t act like Roy did. But on the other hand, Maes couldn't be sure. The blond had definitely changed. The way he had so efficiently managed to derail Maes' artfully disguised interrogation was proof enough of that.

Using small talk to put the young man at ease, Maes had gradually guided the dinner conversation in the direction he wanted to go, but the moment he had attempted to gently probe for information, the behavior of his dinner guest had changed. It was strange, and should have been impossible, but Hughes got the distinct impression that Edward knew exactly what the older man was doing, what strategies he was using, and when to be on the alert.

Maes had never formally interrogated the young alchemist before. All he'd ever had to do was ask a few pointed questions and observe the teen as he answered, a basic technique Maes used on everyone, an occupational habit. And back in the day, Ed had always fallen for this basic technique, his eyes and demeanor telling so much more that his spoken answers.

Yesterday however, the young man's secrets had not been so easy to ascertain. He had avoided Maes efforts to gain the information he required, forcing the older man to greater efforts, to the use of more sophisticated strategies. The more Ed dodged, the more Maes pressed, but to no avail. The whole experience had been frustrating and inspiring at the same time. Maes felt as if Edward was reading him like a book, aware of the older man's expressions, his tone of voice, his smallest gesture, and could tell when the topic was just a course of distraction to get him to relax, and when it was suddenly serious.

To date, only two people were able to read Maes so easily. Gracia, and Roy Mustang.

Ed should not have been able to do that. And he should not have been able to resist Maes interrogational efforts. The prodigy had never been very good at reading people, and had always carried his heart on his sleeve. Yet incredibly, he _had_ resisted, to the point that Maes would have had better luck luring information out of an unwilling Roy Mustang. And his friend was an incredibly hard nut to crack.

And Ed's resistance to his interrogation wasn't the only thing that was bothering Hughes. At one point during the dinner fiasco, the interrogations specialist had decided to try to get Ed's guard down using Alphonse as the key. That strategy had had the opposite effect, and the young alchemist had closed off even more. Shortly after Ed's return, the Elrics and Winry had stayed with the Hughes for a few days. Everything had seemed fine, apart from some initial difficulties the brothers had adjusting to the situation. Winry had stepped in and done her best to pour oil on those troubled waters, and Hughes had been sure that any further problems should have been solved by now.

But if that was the case, why had Al visited Roy and not his brother? And where had Roy disappeared to with the younger Elric while Maes had systematically worked further away from any information with each attempt to gain it? Where had Ed learned to read people so well, with no experience in interrogation?

Maes slammed on his mental breaks. Wait a minute. Edward had been missing for nearly two years – plenty of time for the young genius to develop a few new skills. And now that Maes thought about it, the young man has never actually said just where he had been. So he might have come in contact with an interrogation specialist wherever he was. Maes turned the possibilities, situations, and likely scenarios over in his mind, testing this theory.

No. It just wasn't plausible. Even for a genius, and assuming two years of in-depth training with an interrogation specialist, it still just amounted to a crash course in basic interview techniques. Every interrogation worked differently. It took many years of practical experience to develop the expertise necessary to effectively conduct one, and many more to learn to thoroughly and successfully deflect one. And Ed had been able to elude a seasoned master.

This was mildly disturbing. Something was not right here.

And Roy was right in the middle of it.

Maes turned to Riza. "When you call Roy, tell him to come see me in my office. And tell him it´s urgent."

He definitely needed to talk to his friend.

* * *

Trust Al to spoil his fun. Well okay, to be fair, the young man didn't actually know he was spoiling Roy's fun, but he had just the same.

After finally getting the promise of some answers, the younger Elric had done the last thing that the Flame Alchemist expected.

He sent Ed away.

Well, not exactly away, just out of the kitchen. Roy and Alphonse had come knocking in the middle of the night, and it was now early morning. Ed had to get ready for his day, that routine including a shower and change of clothes.

Damn it.

Roy had been enjoying the view of Edward in his choice of sleepwear. Now he would likely be denied the tantalizing view of the half-naked blond, since Roy doubted very much that the man would return dressed in anything at all revealing. Not with his little brother present.

And speaking of that little brother, Al has been giving Roy these … looks...ever since Ed had left the room. Speculative, narrow-eyed, guarded looks. Looks that made Roy feel strange to receive. The older man decided that he probably should have kept that remark about getting Ed drunk to himself, though it had served the purpose of calming Edward´s struggles. And he probably should have tried harder not to let his gaze linger on Ed's legs and barely covered backside when the former Fullmetal had left the kitchen. Roy took a seat at the kitchen table and tried to not squirm under the younger Elric's intense scrutiny from across the table.

"Roy," Al began, and the older man took it as a good sign that the youngster was using his first name at last, though he wondered if this could be the beginning of another kind of confrontation. The kind of confrontation that would start with a request for the details of Roy's interest in Edward, and could end with friendly advice to forget Ed and move on, or not so friendly advice to keep his hands off Al's brother, or death threats. And Roy realized that he needed Al's approval if he was going to get anywhere with Ed. Without Alphonse Elric's blessing, Roy was beyond doomed. Roy braced himself, waiting for the ax to fall.

"You spoke with brother about our… situation, didn`t you?"

What?

Oh.

Trying to regain his coolness, Roy just blinked. This was not what he had expected. Not a word about Roy's staring at his brother's ass. With a mental sigh of relief, Roy guessed that with everything else going on, Alphonse hadn´t noticed where Roy's eyes were lingering.

"I notice that Ed looked at you, just before he agreed to talk to me about...everything," the blond elaborated with a smile.

And he had. Roy dared to hope that was a good sign, that perhaps Edward had seen the necessity of Roy's deception, and still trusted him.

And this was turning into the _perfect _opportunity to gain Al's blessing. Roy could get into Alphonse's good graces by acknowledging that _he_ was the one who had changed Edward's mind about speaking of their shared past. And yes, this was also a good opportunity for Roy to get his ego stroked a bit, too. Considering how much he and his ego had put up with for the last few weeks, they deserved it.

With all of that in mind, Roy looked into Al's grateful eyes, opened his mouth and said, "It was your brother's decision."

What. The. Hell. Why wasn't his damn brain cooperating with him when it came to Ed lately? First he had blown it by asking Ed if he was engaged in the middle of their first time making out, and now this. Wherever these sudden attacks of conscience were coming from, they had best crawl back there and never show their mutinous faces again, because they had just wasted a perfect opportunity to gain a trump card.

But while Roy's answer came as a surprise to himself, Al just smiled knowingly, clearly having heard just what he had expected. Great. An Elric could predict him better than he could predict himself. Roy was just glad it was Al and not Ed with the sudden insight into his motives. At least sweet little Alphonse wouldn´t notice how badly Roy wanted to screw his brother.

"Sooooo," The stretched word brought Roy's attention back to the blond in front of him. "Just what are your intentions towards my brother? Are you the one he lost his virginity to?"

Roy blinked.

"I´m sorry?" At least he managed to word it more elegantly than with a stupid 'what?".

Al smiled. But it was not a typically kind, gentle Alphonse smile. This smile reminded Roy of Maes Hughes when he was up to something. This was the smile of a snake just before it struck, the kind of smile a predator treated its prey to just before the end. So much for 'sweet little Alphonse'. The boy in front of him was a devil in disguise.

This was not good.

"Sir, it´s pretty obvious you´re interested in Ed," the devil said, deceptively polite.

And really, even Ed had noticed Roy´s attraction to his ... assets. Al had always been the more observant of the two brothers. Roy should have expected this, but he still found it impossible to immediately form an answer.

And Alphonse was becoming impatient. "Have you and brother… done anything?" Roy's lack of response had the frightening effect of giving the teenager the same look Riza Hawkeye gave him. The look that was usually followed by the click of her pistol's safety, and then the sound of a few rounds being fired at targets dangerously close to his cowering body.

Mustang had no desire to answer the question, but the intensity of Alphonse' gaze told Roy that he was nowhere near to dropping the matter.

"Just what exactly do you want from my brother, _Roy_?" the younger alchemist tried again.

Roy was pretty sure Al didn`t really want to hear the answer. His crew certainly hadn't wanted to, and the Colonel didn´t even want to _think_ about how Alphonse would react to a similar speech. At the moment, Roy couldn´t predict whether Al would see through a lie or not. Just like his brother, the younger Elric had a disturbing tendency to react unpredictably, but keeping silent was rapidly losing its appeal as an evasive strategy.

"I really don't think that discussing the relationship I have with your brother is..."

"Relationship?" Al interrupted, eyes going wide. "It's a relationship?"

"No!" Roy was quick to correct. "At least, not in the way you think..."

"Then do you want me to clarify the question, Sir? I can be more specific if you-"

"I´d rather you didn't," The Flame Alchemist quickly interrupted. Alphonse' possibly explicit suspicions were the last thing Roy wanted to hear. Hell, Alphonse was interrogating him like a pro! And Roy had to be careful here, because he was treading on dangerous, overprotective Elric ground.

"Then please tell me, do you want a purely physical relationship with my brother, or something more romantic?" the boy pressed, and sweet gods, did he just say _romantic_? Roy Mustang and _romantic_? This was like some kind of bad joke.

A joke he certainly did _not_ intend to explain to Alphonse.

"Uhh… just how long does your brother usually take to shower?" The Colonel asked and Al´s eyes narrowed.

"Why do you ask, Sir? Do you want to join him?"

Actually, yes, he did. But that was none of Al's business. "Do I have to answer that question?" And could he get a lawyer first?

The sudden ringing of the telephone broke the tension and both alchemists blinked, perplexed, and turned to the phone. Roy would forever bless the person who had decided to call at that moment, though Roy wondered who could be phoning so early. A quick glance out the window informed him that the sun had risen, and it was not quite as early as the Colonel had hoped. The phone continued to ring, but neither of alchemist felt obliged to pick it up. The third ring was accompanied by muffled cursing from behind the bathroom door.

"Uhm… maybe I should-" Alphonse started to get up from his chair, obviously unsure whether he should answer the phone.

"Al, what time is it?" Roy didn't dare to glance at the clock. He hadn´t really paid attention to the time when storming to Edward´s apartment earlier, and they had been here for a while. The brightness of the sky was not a good sign.

"It's 9:35, Sir", Alphonse told him.

Shit. Roy knew who the caller must be. He had wanted an escape from Alphonse' interrogation, but this would be like jumping from the frying pan into the fire.

The phone rang again and the cursing coming from the bathroom became louder.

"Ah, maybe you shouldn´t pick that up," Roy said, stopping the younger Elric from leaving the kitchen. His mind was already working out an excuse as to why he was not at work.

"But brother is in the bathroom and –"

Al's argument was suddenly interrupted as Ed burst out of the bathroom, leaving a water drop trail all the way to the phone, and shooting nasty glares in the direction of his guests. Make that guest, since Ed didn´t glare at his brother, but did not hold back when it came to Mustang. Apparently he had expected one of them to answer the phone after all. Roy would have preferred to let the damn thing ring until it stopped, but that wouldn´t have given him much time until Hawkeye rang again. And next time it would be the door bell.

And it would have deprived him of the spectacular view of one Edward Elric, wearing a towel and nothing else.

Ed wrenched up the handset and barking out a totally pissed off, "Whadayawant?" The dripping blond listened for a moment, then turned to the kitchen table. "It's for you, Bastard," he said, holding the phone out to Roy.

Who vehemently refused to stand up from the chair he was sitting on, or look in Edward's direction.

"Wait a moment, Hawkeye. Something's wrong with the Bastard." Ed excused himself and laid the phone on the counter, turning to his older guest. "Mustang?"

Roy just buried his face in his hands and tried to control his breathing. Breath in, breath out. Cool down.

When he heard Ed tell his First Lieutenant he would call back, Roy made the mistake of looking up. He found himself faced with the mostly uncovered body of the former Fullmetal Alchemist, and instantly, his eyes traveled down the wet body almost against his will. The blond man hadn't taken the time to dry himself and his hair was still dripping. Roy's eyes followed a water drop as it traced down the smooth skin of a throat that looked as though it had been created just for Roy to leave his marks upon. Down over the tanned skin of a bare chest, lower to track down over a toned abdomen, then lower still, and damn that towel had been slung rather low around Ed´s hips. Roy swallowed around the dryness of his throat and dragged his eyes forcefully away as the reason why he didn´t want to stand up throbbed. He had no desire to present both Elrics with the highly visible bulge in his trousers, so he shoved his chair in close to the table where his lap was hidden by the table cloth.

Looking up into golden eyes and doing his best to not attack the man, Roy waited for Ed to continue speaking. But the blond just frowned.

"It can´t be _that_ bad," Edward said.

Oh, but it could. It was hard, painful and trapped in his trousers. And it was confronted with a walking wet dream and not allowed to be shoved into the man's body. Yes, it was _bad_.

"You´re just late. Stop making a big drama out of it," Ed snorted.

Roy blinked. What exactly was the man talking about? And just for the record, now that he saw it up close, Ed had the most captivating belly he's ever seen. Just perfect for licking honey off. In ancient times, honey was considered to be the nectar of the gods, and in Roy's opinion, it had been aptly named. And he just knew it would look absolutely stunning beaded on Ed's golden skin. But should he ever get the chance to paint Edward's skin with honey, looking would not be the only thing Roy would do.

"Fuck, he´s spacing out again. Check out that goofy expression, Al."

Ed's voice brought Roy out of his fantasies and back to reality. The pulsing heat in his groin had developed to a painful ache, and he had no idea what kept him from jumping the man. It certainly wasn't the towel. The only thing that pathetic cloth barrier could block was his view. The general twitched at the thought of that view. Roy willed himself to keep his hands to himself and away from the towel.

Armstrong in a miniskirt.

Damn. This time even Armstrong wasn't enough.

Oh, fuck it.

Just as Roy was about to grab that towel and pull Edward down into his lap, the former Fullmetal was shoved out of range by Alphonse, who knelt down in front of the older man's chair with a frown. Blinking, the Colonel stared at the teen in confusion.

"Are you alright, Sir?" Worried grey eyes searched Roy's face, but that was fine. Al could do whatever he wanted, as long as he didn´t ask Roy to stand up.

There was no way the Colonel could keep the sudden blush from his face however, so he just nodded and buried his face in his hands. "I'm fine," he murmured.

Roy couldn't believe what he had been about to do. His surge of lust had blinded him to the fact that Alphonse was there. Horrified, Roy realized that he had been about to molest Al's brother just now without sparing any thought to an unwilling witness.

Ed would have killed him.

Al would have helped.

And Roy would have let them.

It took Roy one more second to realize yet another thing.

Hawkeye _was_ going to kill him, unless he called her back right now and promised to be there sometime within the next ten minutes. In full uniform.

How was he going to get out of this one? He had no chance of standing up with a mostly naked Ed in the room without making his 'problem' apparent. It was a wonder neither Elric had noticed yet. Particularly Al, who already suspect him of being interested in Ed that way. And what about Ed? The former Fullmetal _knew_ Roy was interested. Of course Roy had become hard very quickly – oh fuck, very hard and painfully so, his libido was on crack- simply by the absence of any clothes save a towel on Ed's body. Roy himself was pretty sure that while he would certainly be aroused by that sight under normal circumstances, his lack of physical gratification was responsible for this kick-start the general was pulling. It probably hadn't occurred to the two young men that anyone could get this aroused this fast from this alone.

Roy finally pulled his head from his hands and looked up at the ceiling. Breath in, breath out. Ignore the desire to just jump the man. Ignore the pain, the trapped general, the need to fuck Ed and fuck him good. Grip his ass and lift him on the table, shove him against the wall and get rid of that towel.

Oh shit. That was not making it better. He needed to get his boner to calm down, not encourage it. If he could just open his trousers and touch himself. Or have Ed touch him. Suck him. Ride him.

Damn.

Roy closed his eyes for a moment and tried not to shift on his chair. That would be a dead give away. And he was sure that moving was not a good idea right now. His trousers might explode.

"Maybe we should call a doctor," Al suggested, laying a hand lay on Roy's forehead while Edward frowned. Oh yes, a doctor would surely have fun making a diagnosis.

"The lazy Bastard is just trying to get out of work," Ed told his brother, but stepped closer to peer into Roy's eyes, unconsciously biting his lip.

He shouldn´t do that. He really shouldn't do that. It sent hot waves of desire into Roy´s lap. "I´m fine," the Colonel forced out roughly. He received doubtful glances from both Elrics. "Just… give me a few moments." A few moments to think of something that would turn him off.

Roy's answer seemed to ease the brothers' concern somewhat and the hand vanished from his forehead. What were the usual themes he used to kill a boner? He had used them so often lately that they were losing their effectiveness. The cold shower this morning should have done a better job to get the General into a bad mood… shower… shower, naked, wet, towel…

"Are you sure, Sir?" Al asked, hands clenched nervously in his lap. "You felt kind of feverish. You´re not ill, are you?"

Shaking his head while he kept his eyes locked to the tablecloth, Roy once again assured Alphonse that he was fine. Right, back to killing the boner. Math maybe? How about some dead animals? That usually worked.

"If you're fine, you should give Hawkeye a call and get to work," Ed said, completely unsympathetic.

"Brother, don´t be rude," the younger Elric chided his brother. Some nice, fluffy, mutilated kitties. Yes, horribly dead kitties were good.

"Well, it´s true." From the sound of it, Ed was pouting. Even without looking, Roy remembered the blond had a totally kissable pout.

Roy tried thinking of Al's pout when he saw a kitty die a horrible death. Hmm, that tactic was working. The general seemed to be backing down. Thanks god he was not a pedophile.

"Brother, you should get dressed. You´re dripping water on the floor." But Roy certainly loved Al - in a purely platonic and companionable way - for getting his temptation out of sight.

"What about-"

"I'll take care of the Colonel," Al stated confidently, and Roy could hear Ed's derogatory snort. Obviously the elder blond was not impressed by the thought of leaving the Flame Alchemist alone with his younger sibling.

"Fine. Just make sure he gets his ass out of here and back to his office." The retreating clang of Ed's automail food was the signal that Roy could finally stop his examination of the table.

But the tone in which Edward had indirectly thrown Roy out, and the fact that he obviously did not care in the slightest to have Roy in his apartment left an uncomfortable feeling in the older man's guts. It appeared that Ed had not forgiven Roy for his deception after all. At least that helped to kill the remainder of his arousal.

It also pretty much sent Roy's mood spiraling down the proverbial toilet.

**Tbc.**


	25. The Dessert Makes the Difference

**Beta&Co-Author**: Ca11iope, thank you once again :D I can only repeat myself: you're awesome ^^

**Huge – sorry^^° - A/N:** This was one monster-delay ._. I´m sorry it took so long, but I hope you believe me when I write: I would have preferred it otherwise as well ^^° Thank you for all the reviews during the absence :D You guys really are amazing ^^

enjoy the reading!

* * *

**The Bet of the Year**

* * *

**Chapter 24: The Dessert Makes the Difference**

"I'm really sorry." Al appeared crestfallen. "It´s because of me that brother is angry with you."

Indirectly, that was true.

"That´s not true, Al." Roy sighed. "I´m sure Ed is just –" pissed as hell "- overreacting. A bit." The older man offered a tired smile. "It's to be expected. We did barge in on him in the middle of the night."

"But brother can be so resentful." Al pouted, eyes taking on a determined light. "I´ll talk with him about it," Alphonse stated, the tone of his voice pure Elric stubbornness. "He shouldn't hold it against you when you were only trying to help us."

Now it was Roy's turn to frown. "And start fighting with him all over again? I appreciate it Alphonse, really, but no. Not now. You should work out _your_ problem first before you try to solve mine."

Al appeared ready to protest, forcing Roy to pull out his patented, all-purpose bastard smirk. "Besides, if there is one thing I can tell you about my relationship with your brother over the years, it's that I have always been more than capable of handling him."

Al still appeared doubtful, but Roy was not discouraged by this lack of faith in his skills. He had spoken nothing but the truth; the Colonel had successfully dealt with Fullmetal in many difficult situations, and he could definitely do it again. For a master manipulator like Roy Mustang, it would be no problem at all.

There were plenty of ways he could get back into Edward's good graces. Some sort of peace offering might work. Food was always a good choice. Of course he would need a lot of it, and that could get rather costly. Maybe a box of chocolates would serve to placate the blond. That might backfire though, if Ed thought that Roy was treating him like a woman. Flowers were out for the same reason. Damn the man for being a man! The mental image of a female Edward, a moody, short tempered and highly trained alchemic prodigy, _menstruating_, flashed through the dark haired man's mind.

Roy shuddered.

And speaking of dangerous females . . . Roy turned to Alphonse as he headed for the door. "Do me a favor. When Hawkeye calls back, tell her I'm on my way to the office."

* * *

Roy was exactly two hours late for work. The first thing Hawkeye mentioned was Maes' request for a meeting in the Investigations officer's office as soon as possible, but Roy couldn't resist checking the situation in his own office first.

Just as he had suspected, the paperwork awaiting him was heaped in a pile of epic proportions. He thought that he might be able to see over the top if he stood on his chair and stretched up on his toes – not that he'd actually try. The desk chair was a deluxe top –of-the-line model, and he wouldn't be childish enough to risk damaging it to satisfy his curiosity. Besides, it had wheels, and it tilted. The last thing Roy needed was to humiliate himself by falling on his ass here in the office. He did have to wonder how Hawkeye had managed to get the stack that high. Getting a jump on his task, the Colonel separated the giant heap into four smaller piles on the floor, all of which reached midway up his thighs. Shit. Hopefully whatever Maes wanted wouldn't keep him too long. Roy didn't want to be stuck in the office all night working on the undoubtedly boring stack of forms. He had better things to do.

Making his way to Central Headquarters' Investigations wing, Roy wondered what was up. Mae´s request for a visit was rather unusual. Roy's best friend tended to invite himself into Roy´s office without warning, shove some pictures into his face to soften his defenses, and then finally get to the point of his visit. It had to be serious for Maes to summon Roy to his home turf instead.

Roy entered the busy outer office warily. He hoped Maes had official business in mind, and that this wasn't some new underhanded scheme he and his team had concocted to help them win the bet. Nodding at Maes' subordinates, Roy strode over to the private workspace, wondering what to expect. He opened the door and stepped inside, absently noting the smell of cigarette smoke.

And immediately had a photo shoved into his face.

"Look Roy! Elisia is helping her mommy to bake a cake! My two beautiful girls! In matching aprons!"

Roy winced. A man should not be allowed to sound like that. Squealing, like some teenage girl with a signed photo of her crush. Instantly, he was annoyed. Really annoyed. More than he normally would be. Roy just wasn't up to dealing with his lovesick best friend today.

"This is what you dragged me over here for?" Roy's voice betrayed the abyss his mood had fallen into after Ed´s curt dismissal, made worse by the mountain of paperwork work awaiting him in his own office.

Maes' eyebrows arched up at his friend's tone, and the photos quickly disappeared into the Lieutenant Colonel's jacket. "Hmm," he said, studying Roy's face. "Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. What's wrong Roy? Didn't enjoy your early morning breakfast rendezvous with the Elrics?"

Annoying. "You tell me, Maes," Roy growled, out of patience with the overly happy man in front of him. "Or didn't you get the daily report from your surveillance team today."

"Of course I did. Al showed up at your place last night and waited for you on your doorstep until you got home. You invited him in and spent a few hours together." Maes was ticking each point off on his fingers as he took a seat at his desk. "The two of you then went to the district of Old Central and disappeared for a few hours in the vicinity of an abandoned church. At 3:47 a.m. you showed up at Ed's apartment, causing a disturbance and waking the neighbors. He let you in at 3:58. That sound about right?"

Roy didn't dignify that with a verbal answer. He simply leveled a cold glare at his irritating friend.

Maes tried on a charming smile. "Wow," he said, twinkle in his eye. "I had no idea how much a lack of recreational sex could affect your sense of humor."

Enough was enough. "Cut the crap, Maes," Mustang growled. "I'm a busy man. Why did you call me in?"

The Lieutenant Colonel leaned his elbows on his desk and looked at his friend over steepled fingers. "For a friendly chat, Roy. Man to man."

Roy dropped into a chair opposite the other man and flattened his hands on the desktop palm down, the red stitching of the arrays on his gloves clearly on display. "Fine," he said pushing down his irritation and preparing for battle. "But if this is the lead-in to some dirty trick around the bet, I should warn you that I'm in no mood for that kind of crap today."

"You wound me, my friend," Maes told him. "But since you appear to be in a hurry, I'll cut to the chase. Roy, what do you really want from Ed?"

This question again, for the second time today? Roy could understand it coming from Al. Over protectiveness was a proven Elric trait, though where Alphonse might have gotten the notion that Roy had even a single romantic bone in his body the older man had no idea. Had the youngster become hooked on sappy romance novels perhaps? Roy could understand the desire to read something other than alchemic texts once in a while, but that was a little extreme. Still, Roy couldn´t think of anything else to explain Al's behavior.

Maes was waiting patiently for his answer. Fine, he could do this. Putting on a smirk, Roy hid the fact that this question had managed to become number one on his most annoying questions list. "Why, Maes. I thought I answered that question in my office yesterday. Would you like a few more details perhaps?" Leering, Roy leaned back and prepared himself for another juicy speech, but Hughes cut him off as if his friend had not answered at all.

"And does _Ed_ know what you want?"

"Of course he knows." Seeing the skeptical look he received, Roy continued with sarcasm thick in his voice, "I suspect his first clue was my tongue in his mouth. Or perhaps earlier." And actually Ed _had_ noticed earlier, but the Flame Alchemist had no desire to tell his friend how he had been played by his former subordinate.

The biting sarcasm in his voice only earned him a raised eyebrow however.

"Does he know that´s the only thing you want from him?"

Obviously, Roy's face was projecting his mood, since Hughes lifted his hands in defense. But before Maes could say another word, Roy was on his feet.

"What are you implying?" he snapped. "You should know I would never lie about my intentions or lead anyone on just to get them into bed."

Roy was infuriated. After all the many year that they had been friends, surely Maes knew him better than to ask him this! And maybe all those year of friendship were the reason why Roy suddenly felt so exposed in the penetrating gaze he received from his friend.

After a few seconds, Hughes nodded. "Alright," he said, all business. "Then maybe you can explain why Ed has had a sudden change of mind regarding his place of residence."

Sudden change of mind? Now that was interesting, and Roy would appreciate a few more details.

"How do you know about this?" Yes, the question implied that Roy already knew about this, but if Maes assumed just that, he might be more open about stating facts.

"His last project partner mentioned it." Which meant that Maes was keeping tabs on Edward now too, this project partner could be the possible source of the cigarette smoke Roy had detected earlier. Roy vague remembered Ed mentioning being annoyed by his partner's frequent cigarette-breaks during one of his rants.

"Did he?" Roy drawled, making an effort to appear bored.

Maes leant forward, seeing through the act. "Yes, he did. He told me that two weeks ago Edward

informed him that he would not be available for another collaboration, because his next project would be outside of Central." It was disturbing to be on the receiving end of Hughes' penetrating gaze. "Last night he miraculously changed his mind and now wants to stay in the city. We all know Ed can be unpredictable, but don´t you think that´s just a bit too convenient for you?"

"Well, what can I say?" Smirking widely, Roy shrugged nonchalantly. "I´m just that good."

But the Colonel wondered why the Interrogations officer had gone to Ed's former partner to get this information, and not Edward himself. Unless...

"Prying this information out of Ed didn´t work, did it?" Roy asked, feeling smug that he was not the only one running head first into unexpected walls when it came to Edward.

It felt damn good when Maes appeared as if he had just bitten into a very bitter lemon, but at the same time Roy could see some familiar and disturbing signs. The narrowed eyes. The slight frown. The thoughtful hand rubbing distractedly at his chin. This was classic Hughes on the hunt, presented with a very difficult case. Which was not good for Roy. He already had his hands full with this situation, and felt no desire to encourage Maes' overzealousness.

"Say, Roy." Damn, too late. Roy knew that tone. "Ed has become rather good at hiding things. He didn´t happen to mention where he might have picked up such skills, did he?"

Staring at his friend, Roy considered how to answer. He did happen to know where Edward had likely picked up these skills, and why, but the younger man would certainly not appreciate his former commanding officer spreading the tale of his other-worldly experiences around. Roy already had a tough enough job ahead of him, attempting to regain Edward's trust. He couldn't afford to make matters worse.

"He did." And that was all Hughes would get at the moment, no matter how hard he tried to stare his best friend into the ground.

When the bespectacled man realized he wasn´t going to get any more information, he frowned. And changed the subject, seeming to sense the dead end he had run into.

"Alright then. What about Al? Why did he go to your place instead of his brother's?"

Roy rubbed his hands over his eyes. If it had been anyone else questioning him this way, he would have been annoyed, possibly even uneasy about the amount of observation he was being subjected to. But this was Maes. Maes was not only his best friend, he was also a comrade, someone he could always count on to support him. But while Roy usually wouldn´t hesitate to tell Maes everything he wanted to know, this was something personal and private for both Al and Ed.

Still, under the circumstances, the existence of another world wasn't something that Roy should keep to himself either.

"I need you to investigate something for me," Roy suddenly proclaimed, and instantly had his friends attention. "I need a list of any reports of unusual occurrences, on or around the date of Edward's return. Pay special attention to reports of strange people, perhaps wearing out of the ordinary styles of clothing, speaking unfamiliar languages, or asking odd questions about the city or country." He paused for a minute. "A month post return date will probably do." Just in case whoever might have come through the gate as well had brought along sufficient supplies to remain in the underground city for a little while to get their bearings before infiltrating Central. It had been a few years, but if anyone other than Edward had managed to get through the Gate, Roy wanted to know, and it was best to play it safe. Better late than never.

Maes was busily jotting down notes as Roy continued. "Also, I like you to take Falman and investigate all subversive groups, including rogue alchemists and physicists, particularly if their literature includes the name Adolf Hitler, or refers to Amestris by the name 'Shamballa', or makes reference to a place called 'München'."

At this, Hughes eyebrows went up. He probably wondered about the strange names, when the Colonel almost stumbled over the strange sounding 'h' in the last word. But he didn´t ask any questions. Instead he nodded and Mustang was sure he would be able to recap everything he had just been asked to check for, even without the notes.

"Anything else?" the Lieutenant Colonel asked.

Since automail did not make it through the gate from Amestris to the other world, the reverse was probably also true, so Roy didn't think he had to investigate the sudden appearance of advanced technologies. He paused for a second before nodding.

"Yes. Don´t question Ed about anything regarding this."

The look Maes sent his way made it clear he could just as well have said 'Don't rat me out.' Ed would likely be pretty well pissed off should he find out that Roy had involved Hughes in this way, even though the dark haired man hadn't really told his friend very much. But depending on the results, the Colonel – and Ed - might have to include more people in this. Preserving national security was a bit more important than staying in someone's good graces to get into their pants.

"Sure, spoil my fun" Maes returned with a grin. "And here I was hoping that I could bring him in for an interrogation."

What the hell had Roy been thinking, choosing a man who pried information out of people for fun as his best friend?

"Fun? Considering your current track record with Edward, I'm sparing you some frustration." Roy was not going to let Maes live that one down the fact that his famous interrogation skills had failed on Edward Elric. And sure enough the other man's eyes narrowed as he leaned back in his chair, eying Roy like a hawk. Time to brace himself for the retaliation.

"I admit he has become quite the challenge," Maes' tone did not speak of anything good, and Mustang could already see where this was heading. "But I´m more worried about the challenge he provides _you_ rather than me."

Damn, clear shot back to the topic Roy had hoped to avoid with his request for an investigation. Obviously Maes' skills were not lost on him. With unerring precision the man had picked up on one of the things, perhaps even the most significant one, that had awoken Roy's interest in the young man.

The Colonel's plan was set within half a second: mislead him.

"Challenge?" Roy said, putting on his best 'I´m a sexy beast' smirk. "I think you forget who you´re talking to. Ed is not a challenge. Not for me." When Maes stared at him in what Roy hoped was an attempt to figure out if this was a lie, he nonchalantly added. "You saw the proof yourself. I could have had him on his back already, if it weren´t for the bet."

And a certain ring. And although he sounded absolutely full of himself, Roy was not a fool. One of the things that had gotten him hard back then had been the fact that Ed had _allowed_ him to do that. And had stopped him when he was going too far. The whole experience had been a tightrope walk, and _that_ had been thrilling and arousing at the same time.

But Maes didn´t know about that, or about what had really stopped Roy. After a few more seconds of trying to pierce his friend with his gaze, Hughes finally nodded.

"Just make sure you don´t hurt him when you´re over your sudden attraction to men," he said.

It was rather disturbing how everyone had just accepted his lewd speech yesterday, and the front he put up to keep them at bay. Everyone in his command, and even his best friend, had no problem believing he was only into sex and nothing more. Roy knew he was good at politics, mind games, and manipulation, but he found himself wondering if he had really become the man-whore everyone expected to see. He had originally put on the mask of the flirty, easy-going, miniskirt chasing pervert because he knew he needed to present some kind of weakness so his enemies won´t dig further, searching for something that could _really_ hurt him, and so they would underestimate him when it came to the worst.

But at some point this front he had put up had become disturbingly true. So true, that even his friends believed this to be him. And looking at it objectively, it was easy to see why. For the last few years he had spent more nights in other beds than his own. He had neglected his alchemy. The only thing he hadn't abandoned in favor of sleeping around was advancing his military career, with which he still had his friends' strong support.

Was that why he found the question of what he wanted from Ed so annoying? The blond was his former subordinate. He deserved better than to be just another one of Roy's brief, superficial flings.

But wasn't that all he could be?

"Roy." Hughes voice brought him back to reality and he looked up expectantly.

Right at the stack of photographs that had magically reappeared.

"Look at this. She´s got more icing on herself than on the cake! She´s always been sweet, but this is -"

Signing deeply, Roy tried to appear as if he was listening, all the while contemplating what he had just heard.

If Ed's change of plans were because of Roy, then this was a clear signal of something Roy had not anticipated. Edward was going out of his way for this.

It was one thing to take an opportunity that presented itself, and so far, it appeared that Ed was doing exactly that. Roy had been hitting on the young man, and his advances had been accepted. But now, in light of what Maes had just revealed to him, it wasn´t just that. There was a difference between taking what was offered because it was there, and actually wanting something. Or as Breda would phrase it, you could eat a dessert just because it´s there, or because it's your favorite and you really want it. The difference seemed small and the result the same once one the dessert was eaten. However, if for some reason you decided not to have dessert at all, it was definitely harder to refuse it if you actually wanted what was offered.

This gave Roy some much needed ammunition to use against Ed.

Let´s see how the man reacted to the dessert Roy planned to serve.

* * *

It was late in the evening when Roy finally managed to leave the office. His late start and the amount of paperwork he had to do made it difficult to convince Hawkeye to let him leave any earlier, but she had finally relented once he had completed half the original stack. Fingering the grip of the pistol holstered at her hip, she had wished him a good evening, reminding him that he was expected the next morning at eight a.m. sharp. The Colonel was still shuddering at what the steely glint in her eye promised if he were so much as a minute late.

Despite the lateness of the hour, Roy had plans. He was a very patient man who could easily spend years maneuvering his way toward his ultimate goal, enjoying every minute. Nevertheless, he was anxious to check up on the Elrics.

All day long he had been wondering how their reconciliation was progressing. More than likely they were working it all out. Despite everything else, they loved each other more than any siblings Roy had ever met. But he was also sure that both brothers had been too caught up in the tale Ed had to tell of their quest for the stone to think about anything else, and the Colonel planned to take advantage of that to get himself through the door to Edward's apartment.

That, and of the twin black holes also known as the Elric's stomachs.

Standing at the door armed with two large paper bags full of assorted take-out, he was greeted by the two blonds, one with a pleased smile, and one with open hostility, their stomachs growling in tandem. Al rubbed his midsection with an embarrassed and rather adorable blush.

"What the fuck are you do-mph."

Al's hand over his mouth prevented his older brother from directly dismissing Roy. And the tempting aroma of the food prevented Ed from shutting the door in the Colonels face.

"I bring food," the older man said unnecessarily, raising the bags and keeping his demeanor casual. Judging by the loud intestinal grumbling coming from both blonds, his suspicions about their lack of a dinner break had been proven right.

It only took a moment of consideration before Roy and the food were accepted, Ed kicking the door wide and stepping aside so the Colonel could enter.

"I don't know why I'm letting you in," Ed muttered. "The food's welcome, but you. . . "

Al cut his brother's remark off without a word.

He gave him _the_ _look_.

Roy had been on the receiving end of that look a few times in his life, but up until now he had been under the impression that only women were able to master the art. It was a look so withering, promising such dire consequences, that only a fool or a madman would dare to ignore its warning. The average person's survival instinct generally kicked in immediately under the implied threat, and was saved when their mouths slammed safely shut.

Alphonse offered Roy a welcoming smile while Ed watched, scowling.

"Can I help you with those, Sir?" he asked.

"No, thank you. It´s fine." Roy said as he stepped past the brothers, doing his best to move slowly without being obvious, and the dark haired man was pleased to note that Edward had not turned his back, keeping Roy under close observation.

Which was exactly what Roy wanted.

Remembering the effects a snug fitting pair of jeans could have on the general public, Roy had taken a detour home after work to change his clothes. Then he had gone to the market to get some takeout food and to test the effects of his choice.

Sure enough, he had once again been ogled and stalked by market patrons and vendors alike, of both genders. Roy supposed it just couldn´t be helped. An attractive sex god doing mundane household chores like grocery shopping had to be every housewife's dream. Thanks to his choice of attire, Roy bought his goods for half the usual price, and while chatting with the vendors, the alchemist had been coaxed into sampling various exotic fruits, pastries, and sweets.

Roy's sudden change of style prompted speculation about the cause from many of the market's vendors. Most knew that Roy was not married, and some – particularly the older ladies – decided that a woman must be involved. They tried to pry out the identity of his new lady, and whether the relationship was serious, but Roy gave them nothing but his trademark smirk, wondering how they would react to meeting his 'new lady'. And how that lady would react to being called exactly that.

The rave reviews Roy had received at the market left him optimistic about the provocative view he was currently presenting the young man, but so far Edward was not reacting. Roy reached the kitchen and started unpacking the fist bag, placing the numerous boxes of food on the table, noting that Ed hadn´t even followed. Hmm. Maybe he should start visiting the gym more frequently.

Just when Roy was coming to the conclusion that Ed had to be blind to the physical awesomeness and perfection that was Roy Mustang, he noticed one thing. He was half done unpacking the first bag, and the distance from the front door to the kitchen was not long. For someone who had made an obvious point of keeping a close eye on him, Ed was certainly taking his time to get there. Roy glanced back toward the entryway and noticed that in fact, Edward hadn´t moved at all.

"Uhm… brother? Are you alright?" Al's quiet voice reached Roy in the kitchen. "Why are you staring at the Colonel's - "

The slamming of the front door was Ed's only answer, when the man finally 'closed' the door.

Smirking, the Colonel forced himself to pay attention to setting the food out on the table.

This was going to be good.

**Tbc.**

* * *

*insert evil emoticon that gets kicked by ffnet here*

* * *

Black-klepon: No need to apologize, I think your typo was very charming :D And I hope, I didn´t reduce Roy to a pure sex-crazed guy ^^° I guess a man who didn´t do it for so long really is thinking a lot about sex ._. But I will see to it that the general is not the only one doing the thinking ^^°

I´m very happy you like Al so much :)

Catalog Cats: *lol* Hughes as a mood barometer :D Nice one, but there will be a few other things that probably will ruin the reliability of this method :P

Cynder81: I hope you like the scene about Maes and Roy ;D As for Roy, he does think he found a way. Let´s see how it works out ;P

BlahBlahBlackBeast: And I´m sorry you had to wait so long ._. That had been a lot of hours, but I hope it was worth it ^^° Roy having the hots for Al and Ed… oO good lord… mess is lightly put XD but it would be at least amusing XD

TsunderCrow: Sorry, I really took forever this time ._. Wasn´t intentionally and I couldn´t change it, but I still feel bad about it u.u At least, the next chapter is half done already, so it won´t take so long again ._. I will continue writing on it once I upload this part ^^ that facepalm might become a regular occurrence XD Especially next chapter (yes, a good bit of it is already done, so _that_ one will be out soon ^^°)

Natsuki: ^^ Yes, poor Roy. He´s already on his way to the next catastrophe XD

Raigingstrom: *chuckle* Oh yes, he tries very hard XD Even to hard for his liking ;-P As for Maes: He´s a smart one as well and of course he won´t surrender without getting information :D

HikariNoIsuzuku: Thank you *bow* My apologies for taking so long ^^

Le Petit Usagi: I´m happy to hear the chapter managed to lift your mood :D Thank you so much, I really appreciate it when people comment on the characters as keeping them in-character is one of the things I really don´t want to mess up ^^° My dearest beta effectively fights off all the small ooc-moments that try to sneak in and I´m happy she does :D I absolutely agree on your view of Al, he really deserves more notice. Sadly, his character really got neglected in the first anime ._. Which is a shame, he´s amazing :D As for him pestering Roy… *snicker* Can´t say too much without spoilering you, but let´s say they will talk on more than one occasion ^^

Kawaii-Chibi666: I just take a guess and say you like the person he reminds you off? ^^ At least I think you like Al, for which I´m very grateful ^^

Mochiusagi: ^_^ Over the table… and a few other places XD

o-Jeff-o: I´m happy you liked the chapter and hope you enjoyed this one as well :D Oh, I haven´t thought about informing Al of the name for Roy´s dick – or the state of Roy's dick. But the thought is funny XD As for Al watching Roy… we´ll see about that ;P Hughes simply found another way to gain information ^^

rainwood650: Thank you, I´m excited you like the story :D Hm… more edroy… I guess the ending of this chapter does kind of promise a bit of that, doesn't it? ;P

Hawkpath13: o.O Dear god, you make me blush ^^° I´m happy you like the story so much :D I never thought of becoming a professional writer and I actually like it this way ;P I can deliver the stories to you without you having to pay for them XD Writing this is fun and I´m excited other people enjoy the things I wrote and letting me know what they think :D And to be honest, my beta really helps me improving the chapters quality :D She´s amazing and I don´t want to miss her ^^

Secret 25: Thank you for letting me know how much you enjoyed reading this story :D I will do my best so you will enjoy the rest as well ^-^ Hm, okay. About Ed's past: there will be more information, especially about Ed´s lover from the other world ^^ I really like your view of Roy´s motives and change of heart. You´re very observant regarding this and I am very hopeful that you notice my hints whenever I drop them. So far, I think you´ve done a good job :D To give you something to think about: not everything Roy uses to excuse his own actions is actually as valid as he would have liked it to be ^^

March Rosenqueen: So glad you enjoyed the last chapter :D With Al being part of the story, we have yet another person who has some motives and who will – of course- meddle in his brother's and Roy's business ( Just like anybody else XD). I´m curious what you think of his actions and how the readers will react to his actions :) As you see, Roy already works on his attempts to bribe Ed into forgiving him XD

WhiteNebula: o.O four nights straight? My deepest sympathy, you must have been really exhausted afterwards ^^°But it´s nice to read you loved it so much and I guess by now you slept and can continue reading ;P enjoy!

Fnick's Witness: I really feel bad for taking so long with the update. Having read the last chapter later at least shortened your wait, so it´s fine with me XD No, not even Armstrong in a miniskirt killed the general :D he is a real hero of war ;P

ElricLover96: Omg, I´m sorry ._. I let anyone wait so long for the chapter and here I finish this one with yet another cliffhanger ^^° At least I can tell you, the next chapter is half done already, so it won´t take months again to update ._.

MARYLOVER: o.O The last three nights. . . please tell me you slept some hours as well :D But I´m happy you laughed so much reading this. And now you can at least be sure your neighbors won´t do anything to irritate you XD Thank you for pointing out that bit with Roy ^^ I´m happy you like that he had to investigate a few things. I think it suits him and somehow, I can really see Ed _not_ telling him everything :D At least in this fic. I might write others where he did tell him, but I thought a change would be nice ^^ Yes, there will be some romance as well and coming. I couldn´t really decide how to label the fic, the strange ideas – resulting in Roy´s 'hilarious situations'- just keep popping up while I write XD Otherwise I just have a basic storyline that also includes a lot of romance ^^ Some drama is also on it´s way ^^ Which doesn´t mean Roy will be off the hook XD I enjoy writing the torture too much and since you enjoy reading it: Roy will have to suffer some more :3

Meda Princess: Please pass on my gratitude to your friend who introduced you to this story :D And thank you for the reviews, I´m happy you enjoyed the reading ^-^ I apologize for the wait and will do my best to update faster again ^^°

RomiofAmestria: I didn´t manage the 'update soon' but I will try my best to do that with the next chapter ^^

BasilMacVae: Thank you ^^ I´m happy to hear you like it :D

Kitsune Demon Girl: Guess she will have to show some mercy ^^° otherwise the story would be at it´s end already XD Good thing it´s not 1. April, I might just have written that XD

Flayne: Thank you for the review and the praise :D I´m happy you like it and hope you enjoyed this chapter as well ^^

Kyrienne: Sorry for letting you suffer a deprivation ^^° I´m happy you enjoy the change of mood :D I´m sorry, but you will have to find out yourself what Roy wants XD I´m trying to prevent spoilers in review answers, even though it´s really tempting to just drop the bomb when someone makes a good guess :D

Darkwhizper: omg, that´s hilarious XD And you´re giving me ideas ^^° How to explain why Roy never went undercover as a woman ^^° Thx for sharing :D

Roskaposti: Don´t worry about your grammar ^^° I´m not native english as well and I have no clue how many mistakes I make whenever my beta is not looking XD So, I´m not one to talk and to be honest, I´m happy you reviewed even when you feel uncomfortable with your English-skills ^^ Thank you!

XxKat-OF-ShadowsxX: If I had been able to, I really would have update for you ^^ or anyone else :D You guys are amazing ^^ Unfortunately, I wasn´t able to, so all that's left is so to apologize for the long wait and hope you have not given up on this story ^^° I really like your reviews :D I love to read what the readers think and your guess is not that far off ^^ Hughes is digging and yes, there is something lurking in the shadows there but I hope it´s something unexpected so I can´t tell you much XD It´s amusing to see how the readers can feel so much sympathy for Roy, yet at the same time could burn him alive – uhm… drow him alive or torture him XD

Chrysanth Florence: XD screw the fucking bet. . . nicely put ^^ Thank you for the review. As for the smex ^^° I think I can say you are on the generals site, yes?

PhoenixWytch: thanks for reading and reviewing :D *lol* Poor Roy is not of the hook yet ^^

Proser132: Lol, you keep reading in public places? Brave ;P In the library… LMAO. Nice to read you enjoy the humor/seriousness blend ._. I just get these strange thoughts and ideas while writing ^^° I actually enjoy reading your fics, even if you say it´s blocky. I like that, it gives me a bit of the dropped-bomb-feeling XD which can lead to a lot of amusement ^^ (a review is for you is overdue again u.u damn I'm horrible at reviewing ;_;) As for the conscience: I recommend running XD I think Roy might feel like you´re making fun of his misery ^^° which you probably do, but I think that sentence was not part of it XD Hm… now I want some peanut butter :D~~

Tak: Thank you for the review :D I see, you´re really enjoying the fic ^-^ Always makes me excited to read someone does :D


	26. Compromising Positions

**Beta: **Ca11iope. Thank you very much! I know you´ve been busy and I am very grateful you did the job despite RL being bossy :D

**AN:** Most people prefer pm-answers over in-chapter replies to their comments which means, the review replies in chapter will be kicked, except for the answers to non-members. There really is no other way to reply to their comments ^^ but the answers will be at the end. That said, I will also edit the other chapters already released ^^ But I will do that whenever I update, so you won´t get any alert-mails over nothing D:

* * *

**The Bet of the Year**

**Chapter 25: Compromising Positions **

It was an age old and often effective strategy that Roy hoped to prove transcended traditional gender roles.

He was attempting to bribe his way back into Edward's good graces, not with flowers and chocolates, since those choices ran the risk of giving Ed the impression that Roy was casting him in a woman's role, but with dinner. Still risky, but a calculated risk given the dimensions Edward's notorious appetite. Tight fitting jeans were also a factor that appeared to be tipping the scales in Roy's favor. So the Colonel played his hole card and mentally crossed his fingers.

He looked casually over his shoulder at the man he had pissed off so thoroughly, eyes a slow smolder, and innocently asked, "Hungry?"

Ed' jaw dropped and he stared incredulous, Roy's double entendre a direct hit. Damn, Roy wanted to kiss the man, for no other reason than just to do it, but he wasn't sure if it might result in the general being introduced to Ed's automail knee. Damn, if only he could read the blond a bit better.

Then he noticed the contemplative way Ed was biting his lip.

Oh, hell. Automail knee or not, it was probably worth it.

Roy bent down slowly, watching carefully for any sign that an attack might be imminent, and felt a rush of excitement when he was close enough to feel Ed's breath on his lips without suffering any injury. He was about to take this as permission to kiss the man – and celebrate his success in earning Ed's forgiveness – when he was resolutely shoved back.

The shorter man gave him a hard stare, breaking the spell, and only then did the Colonel notice Al's voice, altogether too near at hand.

"…idea. Thank you for bringing the food, Roy," the boy was saying.

So, they were back to his first name again, a good sign as far as Roy was concerned. Alphonse's obvious attempts to create a pleasant atmosphere fell flat though, as Edward's disturbed glare sent a chill down the older man's spine.

"It's a good thing you don´t have to cook, brother. Your cooking is… well, edible. Most of the- uhm… well, sometimes." Al was deliberately choosing words that would not sound too insulting, and Ed slowly turned his head towards his brother and blinked.

"Edible?" He repeated perplex. "My cooking's not _that_ bad."

A glance in Al's direction revealed the reason why the younger Elric had failed to react to the almost kiss between his brother and former commanding officer. His back was turned, searching through the cupboards. On the third try the teen found what he was looking for, pulling out three glasses.

Roy had not even noticed when the boy entered the kitchen. Hmm. Was Al the reason Edward hadn´t let himself be kissed, or was the man still angry? Roy could speculate for the rest of the evening and it would get him nowhere. He would have liked to believe that Ed had only pushed him away because of his brother's presence, but at this point Roy had no way of knowing for sure. He had to play this very carefully, because if Edward was still mad and Roy pushed too hard, he was fucked.

Not literally though, sadly.

Brooding wouldn´t help either, so Roy left the food on the table and moved to take the glasses from Al, setting them on a tray along with the drinks he'd brought. The younger Elric continued to criticize his brothers cooking skills.

"Really brother, unless things have changed drastically in the last few months, I think 'edible' is a pretty generous description of your cooking," the teen said, scooping up some napkins and setting them on the tray with the glasses.

Ed crossed his arms over his chest defensively. "I eat my own cooking all the time," he said indignantly. "I think it's fine."

"I'll admit that you've mastered some _simple_ dishes," Al allowed as he located the salt and pepper, depositing them on the tray as well, "but anything at all complicated is really out of your league. Remember the time you tried to make that Drachman dish with the herbed potatoes? I thought we were going to have to change your name to the Charcoal Alchemist, since 'Flame' was already taken."

Ed stopped peeking into the little packages printed with Xingese characters and shot his brother a venomous glare, which did absolutely nothing to discourage the younger alchemist. The next sentence however dropped the real bomb.

"You said the Colonel could cook. Maybe he should give you a few lessons," Al said casually as he clattered a fistful of chopsticks onto the table.

Both Roy and Ed froze.

So, the Elrics _had_ been talking about him. Damn Riza for not letting him out any sooner.

And was it his imagination or was Al trying to hook him up with his brother? Not that Roy minded of course. It just felt rather . . . strange.

"_If_ I want to learn to cook, I can do that by myself." Ed snapped as he scooped up a few of the packages as well as some chopsticks, carrying them into the living room.

Alphonse hastily grabbed a bottle of water before snagging two more packages, and followed his brother out of the kitchen.

Despite the feeling that there was more going on here than it seemed, and the distinct impression the he was about to enter a mine field, Roy loaded the last of the food onto the tray with the glasses and cutlery and followed the Elrics into the living room.

When he entered the room, he stopped dead in the doorway, staring at the spectacle. Both brothers seemed to have forgotten he was even there, and –

It was a good thing Roy had ordered considerably more that he thought he'd actually need.

The Elrics hadn't wasted any time getting started on dinner. They didn´t even appear to care about exactly what they were eating, literally inhaling the food at an astounding rate.

Not that it inhibited their ability to carry on their conversation.

"I´m sure you're cooking would improve faster if the Colonel gave you some guidance." Al managed to get out, impressing Roy with his ability to speak coherently with his mouth filled to capacity.

The Colonel left the tray on the coffee table and went to take off his shoes by the front door, keeping his attention on the brother's exchange. What Roy needed was information, and listening to not only _what_ was being said, but also _how_, was his best option for getting it. He needed to know how much progress the brother's had made in mending their relationship. He needed to know if Edward had revealed any details about his exile in the other world to his brother. And he had to know if Edward was still pissed off at his former commander.

"I don´t need Roy's guidance. Or anyone else's." Roy heard the older brother grumble. "I can do things on my own without anyone messing in my business."

Roy returned to the living room to discover the Elric's glaring at each other while swallowing food as if it might suddenly jump up and make a break for the door. Sitting down on the couch next to Ed, Roy felt a bit left out. Despite the fact that he was part of what they were arguing about, Roy had the distinct impression that they had simply forgotten him.

Al had lowered his chopsticks to glare more effectively at his brother. "You really should be grateful for any help a friend might offer, brother. The Colonel -"

"- is present." Roy informed the blonds dryly while he took off his gloves.

Ed almost choked on his food, only then seeming to notice the man sitting next to him. The Flame Alchemist tried his best not to feel insulted by this. Instead, he made use of the opportunity presented by the break in this conversation to take an active part in it.

"It would be my pleasure to give you _any_ lessons you might _desire_, Edward," he offered with a smirk, true intentions clearly evident in his smooth tone.

Which earned him Ed's undivided attention.

Instantly, golden eyes locked to onyx, and Roy felt himself drawn in by their intensity. The blond alchemist might still be angry, but Roy was sure the man was intrigued by what Roy was implying, however reluctant he might also be to let go of his anger. Considering the way his gaze momentarily drifted to Roy's lap before returning to meet his eyes, Ed was definitely giving it some thought.

Heavy coughing from the other side of the table forced both of them back to reality. Ed blinked and resolutely looked away from the Colonel, a slight blush spreading across his cheeks. The Flame Alchemist couldn´t say if he was embarrassed about having his resolve crumble, or if it was his brother's presence.

"Okay, maybe you're right about not needing lessons from the Colonel," Al said once he had regained his breath.

What the -? Why the hell did the younger Elric look like someone had just kicked the part of his anatomy responsible for fatherhood? A few minutes ago Alphonse seemed to be shoving his brother into Roy´s arms.

Ed didn´t mind his brother's sudden change of attitude. His triumphant smirk was soon wiped away however.

"I mean, you do," Alphonse amended, nervously biting his lower lip. "Just for, you know, cooking. Not for . . . other stuff." The younger alchemist's face was beginning to resemble a silver eyed, blond tomato. "Or well, yes, for _some_ other stuff," he stammered, "but not the kind of other stuff that's, you know, private. Or maybe 'intimate' is a better word. Or not. I, um, don't really... " Al's face got even redder.

Both the former and the current State Alchemists looked at him, Edward frowning, the Colonel's right eyebrow rising at the younger blond's strange behavior. Roy had no idea what Al was driving at. All he knew for sure was that this conversation no longer had anything to do with Edward's culinary skills. The younger teen was making less sense by the second, but Roy couldn't bring himself to stop the boy. Finally, Al threw his hands in the air and addressed Roy directly.

"Colonel, couldn´t you just give Brother some advice on the social aspects, and leave the physical stuff aside?"

"The social aspects of . . .?" Roy echoed, keeping his face completely neutral. What the hell were they talking about?

"Of a relationship," Alphonse said, eyes serious. "For example, the right way to talk to someone you care about and -"

"I don´t need the Bastard for that!" Ed shouted in outrage.

"That's what you meant when you told your brother he needed lessons?" Roy asked, working hard to keep his amazement out of his voice.

Al nodded.

Damn, this was almost as convoluted as feminine logic. Well, Al had been living with the Rockbell women for the last couple of years, and Al's thought processes were bound to have been affected by all that female influence. Even so, this whole discussion was a mess. And the worst thing was, Roy was pretty certain that he was still missing something.

Before he could comment, Ed cut in.

"What makes you think that this Bastard could teach me anything?" Ed vehemently protested his younger sibling's suggestion. "In all the years I was under his command, he never told me shit!"

The alchemist turned to his former commanding officer. "You're just a manipulative Bastard and I refuse to be treated like your damn puppet again!" Ed snarled at him.

"Ed, that´s not -" the Flame Alchemist began, but the former Fullmetal was not finished.

"You can´t just go ahead and fuck around in my business!" Edward snapped. "What I told you, I trusted you to keep to yourself! I didn´t tell you so you could use it against me and –"

"Brother, that´s enough, the Colonel was only trying to help you!"

It was only through great effort of will that the Colonel did not send a sour look in the direction of his self proclaimed advocate. "Al, I´m perfectly capable of . . . " _'handling your brother on my own'_ was not something he should say out loud with the referred to brother present.

Thankfully, that strange sense of whatever it was that made Al think 'taking cooking lessons' might be equated with 'accepting advice in private matters' probably made finishing that sentence unnecessary.

"Right." Al placed the almost empty food box he had been attacking on the table before addressing his brother. "I can´t believe you´re being this stubborn!" He couldn´t? Roy had no problem with that. "And if you value my opinion even the slightest bit –" Ouch, that was way below the belt after everything that happened, but the Colonel felt no desire to tell Al that. After all, he was the one benefitting from it. " – then you would at least try to talk with the Colonel about it!"

Ed opened his mouth in protest, but no sound came out. Obviously, Alphonse's barrage had hit it's mark. And the boy wasn't even finished.

"And I mean _talk_," Al stressed, finger stabbing into coffee table amidst the take-out cartons. "No fighting, no screaming. Try to solve this diplomatically." Damn, he was good. And as a cherry on the top, the kicked puppy was back, staring at the mean brother who just wouldn´t listen.

Alphonse dealt the finishing blow. "_Please_, Brother."

There was no way Ed could refuse him. Roy didn't think he would have been able to either. And just as predicted – or rather, planned by Al – the former Fullmetal sighed in defeat.

"Fine," he said grudgingly. "We'll talk."

* * *

Once he had forced his brother to agree to a more or less civil discussion with Roy, the youngest of the alchemists simply stole Edward's apartment keys and stated that he was going for a walk so the other two could talk without any inhibition. Since Alphonse would probably be one topic of the discussion, the Colonel had no problem letting him go. It also left Roy alone with Ed, and even though Edward was not exactly welcoming Roy's presence at the moment, it gave the older man the opportunity to try to soothe the younger's temper. He also planned to use Ed's attraction to him against the other alchemist, and that was best done with Alphonse out of the way. Roy liked Al, but he couldn't pass up this chance.

"You are a manipulative, arrogant asshole. And a Bastard." Ed growled as soon as the door closed behind Al's back.

"You call that diplomatic?" Raising an eyebrow, the Colonel's voice displayed faint sarcasm.

"Al didn´t say 'no insulting'." Edward promptly countered, which actually was true, but also made the younger alchemist sound rather childish.

"It's a good thing we never sent you on any diplomatic missions," Roy said dryly.

"Good thing the Brass never trusted you to be anything but a lazy man-whore, you manipulative piece of-"

"It worked, didn´t it? You have your brother back, don't you?" the Colonel interrupted, and for a moment, Ed was stuck by the pure audacity of the statement. Then he caught on, and despite Al's warning, his outrage was likely heard by everyone in the apartment block.

"My life isn't some damn military assignment that you have to handle for damage control!" Hmm, so Edward was aware of at least some of the lengths Roy had gone to in cleaning up after him back in the day.

"Thank you for not shouting out any classified information," the Colonel answered, wincing at the ringing in his ear. Much as he would have liked to remind Ed about Al's 'no screaming' rule, Roy really didn't want to have to rely on Alphonse – in person or spirit - to control Edward.

The direction this conversation was going was not getting them any closer to resolving their differences however. Roy grabbed the wheel to steer it back on course before it could become one gigantic, senseless shouting match.

"You can't deny that Al needed to be made aware of a few things. And that he had to hear those things from you. And he did." That worked like a bucket of cold wa - ah, let´s not think about cold water.

Roy's former subordinate stopped shouting, but still scowled at him. It took Edward a few moments to reply, but the tone of his voice had changed drastically. No rage, no anger. In fact, his voice was a study in guarded coldness, and that more than anything else warned the Colonel.

"So, you were manipulating Al?" If it was about himself, Edward could rant and scream and punch impulsively. But if he feared that someone was trying to take advance of his brother, Ed's reaction gained a calculating edge. Roy definitely preferred impulsive anger over this. And as a matter of fact, the accusation was not even true.

"If anything, Al is manipulating both of _us_," the Colonel growled displeased, which earned him a skeptical glance from the alchemist sitting next to him. Oh joy, the absolute trust of an older brother in the innocence of the younger. Roy shook his head before the man could answer his statement with a defense of his sibling. "Alphonse simply found out a few things he didn´t know. And so did I." The dark haired man sent a disapproving glance towards Ed that only earned him a stubborn frown and a defiant look.

"I don´t approve of your actions, but I´m in no position to judge them," Roy said as Ed crossed his arms over his chest. The Colonel sighed and continued. "Actually, I shouldn´t even be surprised. You always did value your brother's life over your own."

Edward's only response was a skeptical glare. Shifting his attention to the food boxes in various states of disarray on the coffee table, Roy finally admitted something he was very reluctant to say, but it was true nonetheless.

"The decision was yours to make and that´s exactly what you did." Roy might believe that Edward's actions had been rash and imprudent, but it wasn't fair to sit back and second guess the young man after the fact. This had been a private matter, and Roy had no real right to question Ed's decision, or to judge the boys actions. "If there's one thing I know about you, it's that you always do what you believe to be right, regardless of the consequences to yourself."

Silence greeted this statement, and Roy couldn´t bring himself to look at the blond man next to him. Instead, he took one of the boxes along with a set of chopsticks and placed the paper carton between his knees, which allowed him to use both hands to break the sticks apart as well as open the box.

Since Edward had still made no comment, Roy finally looked up and found himself the target of a thoughtful gaze. Despite the searching stare, Roy didn´t feel uncomfortable. On the contrary, he was confident and relaxed to a degree that, under the circumstances, quite surprised him.

Certainly, acknowledging Ed's right to make such a heavy decision without any interference or judgment might be surprising for the younger alchemist, but Edward was not a child anymore. Roy would be a hypocrite to treat him as such when at the same time he was willing to accept him as a professional equal, and a possible bed partner as well.

Golden eyes firmly on Roy, the former Fullmetal took one of the opened food boxes, picked up his own chopsticks, and leaned back poking into whatever dish he had selected. He was obviously waiting for something. Roy kept his silence, hoping the young man would say something to verify Roy's interpretation of Ed's current behavior. He was pretty sure the blond had forgiven him now, but wanted confirmation.

"Well? You came here to talk, didn't you?" The blond finally offered, more than just slight amusement creeping into his voice. "I'm listening."

Good lord, was the food drugged?

Edward Elric was actually willing to listen to Colonel Bastard.

"How was your discussion with Al?" Roy asked carefully, still unsure about trusting this almost peaceful atmosphere. But the half expected attack failed to appear and Ed picked some noodles out of his carton before answering.

"Better than I expected. I haven´t told him even half of what happened but -" Edward shrugged and for a moment, he appeared incredibly tired and relieved at the same time. "- he´s trying to understand. It's his own actions that he's having the hardest time understanding," the blond muttered before shoving the food into his mouth. "It –" Another shrug, another failed attempt to explain the situation. Ed had never been a master with words and this was no exception. ". . . must be strange. To hear about things you've done in a life you don't remember. But he´s handling it surprisingly well."

Roy picked at his chicken and leaned back. "Did he . . . have anything to say about what he and I discovered in the underground city?" the Colonel asked before he bit into the breaded, deep fried morsel.

The blond shook his head.

"No," Ed answered. "I guess maybe he wants to hear the entire story first, or maybe he needs some time to sort out his thoughts, or maybe he's . . . " Edward's voice faded out.

Looking at the man next to him, the Colonel noticed the signs of tension: a strained set to Ed's posture, the slight tremor of his hand as he brushed aside his bangs, the tapping of his chopsticks on the side of his food carton.

"His behavior didn´t give me any indications that he might be angry at you," Roy tried to reassure the younger man. "However he might be affected by what you have to tell him, he is your brother. Nothing can ever change that." But even as the Colonel stated this unalterable fact, he wondered what he would do if Al decided he preferred to distance himself from his brother. As unlikely as that might be, the Colonel liked to be prepared for any eventuality. He felt better having a plan B ready, just in case. And it didn't hurt to have plans C and D on the backburner either. In this case however, Roy had no idea how he could help. If Alphonse decided that he couldn't accept what his brother had been forced to do and went back to Resembool and live his life with the Rockbells, Roy didn't want to even think about how devastated Edward would be.

And since Roy had convinced Edward that he should tell Alphonse about his missing past, he would be responsible for causing the rift between the brothers. Back when Edward admitted the consequence he feared most in that one quiet question, Roy had reassured him that his fears were unfounded, based on his knowledge of how much the brothers loved each other. But if Al made the mistake of sitting in harsh judgment of his brother, and then passed sentence by returning to Resembool alone, what then?

Roy had his own technique for treating people going through difficult times and overwhelming situations. It consisted of challenging them to suck it up and move on. And in fact, Edward already had firsthand experience with it. Roy had used it on him years ago, during the Tucker chimera incident. Appealing to logic in order to ground a distressed comrade was Roy's plan B. He had never been successful in attempts to offer comfort, so it was not a strategy in his repertoire. And according to Riza Hawkeye, it was a good thing. Roy really sucked at giving comfort.

That was why it was so disturbing to see Ed eating at an almost normal pace, lost in brooding thought. Because there was not much Roy could do about it. They had to await Al's reaction to what Edward had to say. For the moment, it appeared that Alphonse was anxious to keep a normal relationship with his brother. Roy hoped that continued to be the case.

Since there was currently nothing more to be done on this front, Roy turned his thoughts to his other main objective.

As soon as he finished eating, Roy, as a considerate guest, took the liberty of clearing the empty boxes from the living room while Ed finished his own meal. The former Fullmetal's distress might have slowed down his rate of consumption, but the amount of food the young man was able to eat was still astonishing.

It came to an abrupt stop when the Colonel unobtrusively positioned himself in front of the younger man, back turned, then leaned forward to pick up a few of the empty cartons along with his own. Despite their light weight, he could hear Edward's chopsticks landing on the couch, and the light clicking as the wooden sticks bounced to the floor. The snug fitting jeans were working their magic.

It took a remarkable amount of willpower to not turn around and look into Ed's face or chuckle. Roy made his way to the kitchen, all innocence, and placed the empty containers on the counter, carefully listening for any other sounds Ed might make. That turned out to be a mistake. He perhaps should have guessed that Edward was able to move almost soundlessly. The man was a highly trained martial artist and moved with smooth agility, but Roy at least had expected to hear the automail footsteps approach.

He didn´t.

The Flame Alchemist barely managed to avoid a startled jump and an embarrassing squeak when, without any hesitation, his ass was groped. Not cupped, not caressed. Groped. It certainly was not the first time his butt has been handled in this manner, but it still took him a moment to recover from his surprise. Thankfully, the grip loosened after just few seconds, but Ed obviously had no intention of taking his hands away.

More amused than irritated by Edward´s boldness, the Colonel turned around to face his molester. Raising an eyebrow, he looked down at the blond man, whose hands still cupped his backside, arms looped around him in a lose hug.

"Don´t tell me you call that being diplomatic." The Colonel couldn´t help his slightly mocking tone. "Because if you do, then I´m _really_ glad we never sent you on diplomatic missions."

The impish smile he received as an answer to this statement took Roy's breath away.

He wasn't sure why the sheer lack of respect didn´t bother him. Maybe it was because he was so used to Edward not giving a shit about subtle social graces. He certainly had a knack for cutting to the chase and getting right to the point. Ed was not limited in his actions by a bet either, so he saw no need to hold back, knowing that Roy was definitely interested.

"Don´t worry, Colonel. This particular negotiation tactic is reserved for Bastards alone." Ed quietly growled.

The Colonel had to catch his breath again when his butt was given a good squeeze as the blond pulled him closer. Even though his dignity was not sure if it was being insulted, the Flame Alchemist was not about to complain when he was finally getting confirmation that the younger man had forgiven him. Roy placed his hands lightly on the man's waist instead of the body parts Roy longed to touch ever since he'd first seen the young man in his sleepwear.

"You know, these pants are an invitation." Ed hummed, leaning in as Roy pulled him closer. The blond man made good use of their height difference and nuzzled the pale skin just above the collar of the Colonel's soft pullover.

"They aren't." The Colonel was not about to let Edward know he was right. "For that I would have to get some leather pants, like the ones you used to wear. _That_ would have been an – " his breath caught when soft lips brushed the hollow of his throat, sending shivers down his spine.

He couldn't remember ever being so aroused by so little, but his pants already felt uncomfortable as the general showed his appreciation for the situation. Roy's fingers acted on their own when they pulled the cloth of Ed's shirt up, slipping under the hem, his hands meeting soft skin marred with scars. Damn if it didn´t feel good to touch them. Roy had never had a kink for scars, but each and every one of these marks made him aware of just who it was he was touching. Strange, how it could feel so good to stroke this branded skin when not two weeks ago Roy would never have thought to touch Ed like this, would have been opposed even to the idea of doing so.

Now his hands made their way over these silent witnesses to a life much rougher than it should have been, and delighted in the privilege. He took pleasure as well in the shivers caused by his touch, and the way Ed's breath caught, and the press of Ed's lips against his neck. The young man arched his back when Roy's finger stroked over his shoulder blades, and he stepped back a bit to allow his former superior to pull his shirt over his head, leaving his torso bare.

Roy wanted to look, to appreciate the view, but fingers steel and flesh buried themselves in his hair, pulling his face down. Just before his lips were captured, he caught a glimpse of molten gold, hungry and needy and filled with raw desire.

God, he wanted to fuck him. Give him he wanted, what they both wanted. Those lips moving against his felt so good, but he wanted _more_. Despite the pure need he had seen in Ed's eyes, the man's tongue was fighting his when he pushed it between the shorter man's lips. But it was good, so good, to feel the other man challenge him, urge him on to earn it. Even though Ed wanted this, he wouldn´t surrender so easily.

Roy's arms wrapped around the smaller man's waist, pulling him closer, tight against his own body, and slipped one knee between the blond's legs. Roy's hips shifted forward, moving against the man pressed against him, rocking the hard bulge trapped in jeans against the blond's crotch. Roy could feel an equally hard arousal, and excitement rushed through his body, setting his nerves on fire. The rhythmic movement was enough to throw Ed off balance and let Roy gain the upper hand in their kiss. Edward's moan was swallowed by Roy's lips, and the Colonel planned to pull more of those wanton sounds from the younger man.

But his victory was short lived. Just as Roy claimed the younger man's mouth, he felt the other alchemist's hands leave his hair and settle on his shoulders. At the same time Ed's left leg slid up, the thigh brushing against Roy's hip and then –

He noticed Edward's foot hooking up behind his knee a split second too late. The Colonel was on his back the same instant he sensed Ed's intention. And damn the brat, Roy knew he could have softened the fall, but didn´t. The landing was rather rough, Roy's back and elbows hitting the kitchen floor hard.

It mattered shit when just a moment later the blond alchemist straddled his hips, a predatory smile on his lips and unhidden lust in his eyes. The young man sat down on the bulge of Roy's already too tight trousers and instantly the Colonel tried to rub his hardness against the weight on his crotch, but the position didn´t give him much room to move. The slight friction he did manage was barely more than a tease that only heighten his need. Pushing himself up on his elbows, the Colonel felt mismatched hands making their way beneath his pullover. Fingers caressed his stomach on their way up as Roy sat up, leaning forward until he could feel the blond's warm breath on his lips.

Ed tugged on the pullover's hem. "Off."

The demanding whisper against Roy's lips had a rough, needy undertone that made the Colonel's dick twitch painfully with hot arousal. He needed to get out of these damn pants, they were too tight. They were in the way, too much cloth between his hard dick and the ass he wanted to shove it in. His fingers grasped long hair, forcing the blond to tilt his head back, to bare the slender throat. Roy´s lips lightly caressed the tanned skin before sucking on it, hard enough to leave a mark. Ed gasped and the gentle pull on Roy's sweater became desperate and erratic.

"Take it off." The young man repeated, half moaning and half panting.

Roy's tongue licked the freshly forming hickey, and Edwards's hips jerked forward, finally giving the Colonel's hard erection the friction it needed so desperately. Roy groaned, his hands beginning to reaching out, meaning to grab Ed's ass and urge the man to _do that again_. Instead, he lifted his arms, some distant part of himself warning that he should not to touch Edward like this for some important reason, though he'd be damned if he could remembered why. Who the fuck cared anyway? This was already out of control.

Lifting his arms allowed Ed to pull Roy's sweater up, and he was all for any progress towards being naked. As the cloth passed over his face, he noticed that Ed's hands let go for a moment, but he didn´t care other than that it delayed the stripping, and he didn´t hear the faint clap, so the tingling sensation of alchemic power came as a surprise. Even more, when Ed suddenly pushed against the changing cotton as it reached his wrists. It threw Roy off balance, and he found himself on his back again, hands pinned above his head. He instinctively tried to move his arms, but couldn't. Throwing his head back, the Colonel was just in time to see the successful merging of what had once been his pullover with the floor of the kitchen, securely binding his wrists above his head.

Ed took Roy's bared throat as an invitation to attack it with his mouth, much rougher than he had before, biting, sucking, and licking the pale skin. Despite the shock of the sudden transmutation and the trapping of his wrists, the Colonel was reminded of his aching erection as each new assault by Ed's mouth send hot waves of raw desire down to the heat in his lap. Once again Roy tried to move his hands, but the transmuted cloth was keeping them firmly in place. Edward paused, tilting his head to look Roy in the face.

"Okay?" he asked, with a nod towards the transmuted restraint.

It was a question, but at the same time a challenge, daring Roy to give up on his precious control and let his former subordinate do what he wanted. Ed's hands moved intimately over Roy's skin, gently stroking up his stomach and ribs. Roy let out a faint hiss when they caressed his nipples in passing, lightly, but it was enough for them to become hard, and the trapped man's hips jerked up. The movement was pure instinct, a reaction to the aching need he felt, the need for friction to get him closer to orgasm. Ed smiled at the reaction, his hands stroking up to Roy's collarbone, then back down the same way, coming to a rest at Roy's sinfully tight jeans' waistband.

Roy tried to move his arms again, to tear the cloth holding his wrists in place. Of course this wasn´t okay! He wanted Ed to release him. But more than anything, he wanted the man to _move_. How could Edward just sit there, the bulge in his trousers just as prominent as the one Roy was sporting, half naked and fucking gorgeous and - and doing nothing?

It wasn´t the first time Roy had been tied down, but this was very different. Whether he was the bonder or the bondee, he and his partner always left a possibility to get to free. Now, however, Roy had no key, no lock to open, and no gloves, or any way to draw a transmutation circle. But though part of him balked at the prospect of spontaneously giving up control, it was tiny and died a miserable death when Ed leaned down to nibble at his neck again, soft lips trailing a line from his jaw down towards his collarbone. Fuck it, he had a young and eager blond sitting in his lap, waiting for permission to give him exactly what he needed, so why not? Oh god, this was good, this was almost, perfect, just not enough, and damn the man for giving him only enough to make him want more. From his position astride Roy's hips, there was no way Edward didn't feel the eager twitch of Roy's cock against its prison.

And he soon proved that he did. The younger man shifted, blond bangs tickling the sensitized skin of Roy's chest as he moved. Ed's automail hand supported the young man's weight as his knees slipped between the older man's jeans covered thighs, settling between the Colonel' legs.

It felt like slamming face first into a wall. This was going in an entirely different direction than Roy was prepared to go. It was _not_ a position Roy felt comfortable with. He was not going to let himself be –

Hips forced his thighs further apart as the younger man started to grind against the painful bulge in the Colonel's trousers. Fluid, _continuous_ movement, the return of that delicious friction, the pressure becoming stronger each time the younger man's arousal rocked against his.

God.

Fuck.

_Damn it_.

"Move." He urged the man on, bending his knees to be able to thrust up in harmony with Ed's movements, to grind his own erection against the younger man's to increase the friction. Why couldn´t the other alchemist just abandon this slow and steady rhythm?

"Move faster, damn it." Roy growled, not caring that he sounded desperate. Hell, he _was_ desperate, and as long as he got off, he was willing to live with it. Roy was pretty sure Ed would not fuck him if he refused. And he was _absolutely_ sure that he would come before the man even came close. As long as the blond just kept moving.

Fuck, don't stop.

Don´t stop.

The humping stopped. Ed raised his lower body far enough away to prevent Roy from getting what he wanted by rocking up himself. The Colonel felt the sudden urge to cry out and barely prevented a nasty curse from escaping his lips.

"So, this is fine?" The soft purr against his neck made him clench his teeth.

Damn brat.

Roy was going to kill him.

Afterwards.

"Yes. Now _move_."

Without further ado, Ed's left hand found its way to the Colonel's denim covered dick.

Even if he hadn't wanted to, there was no way Roy could _not_ thrust up against the palm firmly pressed against the tented front of his trousers. He was pretty sure the moan that escaped his lips when he threw his head back contained some curse, but he didn´t give a shit about that as long as Ed's hand kept on rubbing the hard bulge.

Closing his eyes, Roy gave himself up to the feel of getting his erection stroked through thick cotton. He registered Ed's lips on his neck, sending pleasurable shivers down his spine every time the man bit down, this tiny bit of pain adding to the ecstasy.

Then the hand moved away from his dick, but Roy's desperate cry was lost as the younger man's tongue pushed its way past his lips to thoroughly ravish his mouth. All thoughts of putting up a fight, of providing at least some token challenge for control, were erased from Roy's mind when Ed, one-handed and therefore a bit clumsy, managed to open Roy's belt. Moments later the button and zipper of his jeans were also open, and the younger man's hand slipped into his shorts.

Roy broke off the kiss with a strangled hiss. He was losing it, coming apart at the seams, but damn it, it was so _good_, getting closer and closer as he moved against the hand in his shorts, the palm that pressed against the pulsing length of his erection, the fingers that curled around him, god, it was _good_. When the hand slipped out of his underwear, he let out a needy, desperate sound he never thought himself capable of making.

"Ed – " Roy's voice had been reduced to a hoarse, low whisper. If he could have, he would have hit the man for once again denying him his relief. Laughable, because in fact he couldn't hit Edward, couldn´t move, could do nothing but wait for the man to do as he pleased. The thought sent a thrill of excitement through his body. Damn it, but he was unbelievably turned on by this.

Edward began to slowly trace his lips along the hollow of Roy's throat, then in a straight path down towards Roy's lower body.

Scratch that, Roy no longer wanted to hit Ed. He wanted to push the young man's head toward his dick much faster than the pace Edward set. Hitting him would only delay this.

Of course Ed couldn't suck his cock through his pants, but Roy still hissed when the waistband of his jeans was eased down, finally- oh god, _yes_- releasing his erection. Edward stopped his journey over Roy's twitching abs for a moment to take a lingering look at the swollen and very hard length now lying against Roy's lower stomach, and – good lord – licked his lips. Very much reminding the Colonel of a cat in front of the cream. Ed was completely enjoying this.

As much as he wanted to come, Roy struggled now to hold off. At this rate, Roy would shoot his load even before it came to what Edward clearly had in mind, and Roy very much wanted to experience it. The young man's fingers wrapped around hot flesh, so very slowly starting to stroke the erection- as if it needed any more encouragement- and Ed's mouth returned to the place where it had left, continuing to kiss its way down towards the dick twitching in anticipation. When his lips reached the Colonel's stomach, all Roy could do was moan and stammer breathless encouragements to hurry.

Roy wasn't sure he managed to articulate the words among his heavy moans and pants. And he didn't care. His world had narrowed to the slowly reducing distance between Edward's mouth and his erection.

That was likely why Roy didn´t hear the sound of a key turning in a lock. Or the quiet squeak of the front door's hinges. Or the hurried footsteps rushing towards the kitchen.

What he did hear was Al's reaction to the sounds _Roy _was making. There was no way he could fail to notice the shout.

"Brother! I told you not to hurt - OH MY GOD!"

**Tbc.**

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You like? ^^ I was so tempted to end a few paragraphs sooner :D But I like this ending as well ^^

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**Review answers to non-members:**

Lorelai: Yes, I do ^^° I´m sorry for the wait but I hope the chapter – and this one – was worth the wait. I´m excited you enjoy the story so far and hope you will continue to do so :D As for the actual sex scene: I guess you got a bit of an teaser here ^^

Shane: Yay XD Glad you liked it ^^

Cristal08: No, Roy is not getting much slack here :D It´s too much fun torturing him.

Dr. Chel: Sorry, FFnet won´t let me write your name right, so I' had to add some space ^^° Dating Ed is exactly what Roy´s ego needs XD or rather, not dating Ed, cause the blond has something else planned XD Happy, you liked the jeans ^^ I hope you liked Ed´s reaction to them as well ^^


	27. Of Librarians and Literature

**Beta/Co-Author: **The amazing Ca11iope, who once again did a wonderful job ^^ Thank you, dear!

**A/N:** I have not expected so many readers to comment on Roy's position last chapter. And honestly, I´m very hooked up by the idea as well :D I´m so going to write something with Ed being on top XD I won´t say if it´s for this fic or when I will be able to write if. But if not for this story, it will be a one-shot ^^ still, I´m curious about your opinion so I opened a little poll in my profile :D (I just have no clue how long it takes for the things to get uploaded into the profile ^^ So, if it´s not there yet, please try it again later. I´d be happy if you decided to make a vote.)

The results will be displayed once the poll is closed, which will be at the end of December ^^

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**The Bet of the Year**

**Chapter 26: Of Librarians and Literature**

"Oh my god, brother!" Al slapped his hands over his face, spun on his heel and quickly left the room.

"Shit." Ed cursed.

Roy had not even registered what was happening, his brain still unable to comprehend anything beyond the pure _need_ he felt. He finally noticed that something was wrong when Edward surged to his feed and stumbled towards the door.

No way!

Roy's unarticulated cry of anguish was far louder than Ed's anxious shout for his brother. The blond stopped short at the doorframe and turned around to look at the bound man lying there, then turned around to peer back into the living room, obviously torn between getting to his brother and dealing with his former superior.

The Colonel knew he should be telling the blond to go to his brother. Most likely the younger boy was well beyond shocked, but given the circumstances Roy didn't really give a damn. As far as the dark haired man was concerned, sweet little Al could burn in hell for interrupting them, and he could stay there until Roy was done fucking his brother's ass until the man developed a permanent limp. As a warm up. He had done everything in his power to get the brother's together again, and had succeeded. Didn´t he at least deserve a reward?

And he was _hard_. Fuck, this was frustration beyond anything he'd ever experienced. He _needed_ to get laid. Roy was positive that his balls would rupture if he didn´t shoot his load soon. Preferably into Ed's body.

"Get back here!" he ordered, moaning when the general, standing at full attention, twitched, clearly supporting Roy's demand. Damn, that hurt!

Ed bit his lip, his gaze falling to the Colonel's erection. The dark haired man struggled to tear his hands from the confines of his former pullover unsuccessfully.

"Come on Ed," he pleaded, wincing at his tone. Roy couldn't remember ever having to beg like this. Hell, this was probably the first time in his life that he'd ever done so. He was just that desperate.

Ed left the kitchen.

The Colonel stared in horror at the empty doorframe.

But not for long.

God, thank you! Yes! Ed came back to kneel beside him. Both of the young man's hands caressed Roy's flushed face, tilting it up. Soft lips moved lightly against his.

Shit.

This was an apology.

Edward's quiet words confirmed it. "I´m sorry, I can´t do this with Al in the next room."

Roy stared at him, unwilling to believe that Edward was not going to finish this. After another soft kiss, the young man stood up. If he hadn't been so mind-numbingly aroused, Roy would certainly have understood Ed not wanting to have sex with his brother in the next room. Hell, he had not wanted to masturbate with the younger Elric in the same house. Under the circumstances however, the Colonel was furious. And if Edward wouldn't finish what he had started . . .

"Release me," he demanded.

"No."

Roy blinked. What?

Ed shrugged embarrassed.

"I mean, of course. Just- not yet."

"You can´t be serious." This had to be some kind of nightmare.

"Roy, you´re … well. You´re horny."

"I noticed. And you´re responsible, _so do something about it_." Roy could not believe this. He didn´t want to believe this.

Ed cheeks turned a deep red as he tried to explain. "You can´t – fuck!" The older Elric scrubbed his hands over his face, definitely uncomfortable with the situation.

"Yes, I can! I´ll show you just how good I can fuck if you untie me," Roy interrupted, and Ed once again bit his lower lip.

"Roy." Ed's voice took on the tenor of a parent talking to a stubborn child, the tone used when stating unshakeable rules. "There won't be any fucking with Al present. And no jerking off either. It's just that, well ..." Ed shook his head, huffed out an exasperated breath and just went for it. "You´re… uhm… pretty loud when you´re getting close..."

"Excuse me?"

"...and there is no way Al wouldn't know what you were doing while you were… making those noises," Ed concluded.

This was so not happening.

"So…" Ed cleared his throat. "I'm thinking maybe we should wait a few minutes before I transmute your shirt back?" he suggested. Roy took some small satisfaction in Edward's downcast eyes.

"Couldn't you send Al away? Just for a few minutes?" Roy suggested, determinedly keeping desperation from creeping into his tone.

Ed's glare was answer enough. He clearly would not even consider sending Al out so the Colonel could have a few minutes in private. Al wasn't stupid. He would know why he was being sent back out into the night, whatever errand Ed might invent to excuse it. And Ed was still insecure enough about his place in Alphonse' life that he wouldn´t risk the possibility that the younger Elric might not come back.

And now that the Colonel was regaining his ability to think, he realized that he should have been thanking Alphonse for interrupting. Roy had been seconds away from losing the bet. And it wasn't over yet, because Ed was right. Having his hands tied was the only thing preventing Roy from finishing himself off, and consequently dooming himself to a full year of tedious paperwork done on time without complaint, matchmaking for Havoc, and dating Maes' collection of marriageable women.

"I don't believe this," Roy murmured as he let his head fall back to thump against the floor.

* * *

When Roy and Ed finally joined Alphonse in the darkened living room, the youngest blond was perched on the edge of the big arm chair's seat, hands clasped between his knees. Roy and Ed were both fully clothed when they sat down across from him, but the teen avoided looking at the dark haired man nevertheless. Worse, whenever Roy so much as glanced in his direction, the young man's face darkened to such a deep shade of red that the Colonel wondered if there was enough blood left in the rest of his body to keep him conscious.

But to be perfectly honest, Roy was fine with Al not looking at him.

The whole scenario was far beyond the highest level of awkward Roy had ever experienced – and Central's premier Casanova had been in plenty of embarrassing situations. He was no blushing virgin. Far from it. An outrageously large number of people – mainly women – had seen him naked and aroused. But to be caught in that state by his almost lover's younger brother intensified the Colonel's mortification enormously.

The silence in the living room was stifling. Just to be doing something, Roy had brought a pitcher of water to fill the glasses on the tray. Both brothers had immediately downed them, probably wishing for something much stronger. Neither Elric had the slightest idea how to address the issue at hand, so, as the adult, the Colonel gritted his teeth and took the initiative.

"Look, Al…" Roy started. "I can't tell you how sorry I am that you walked into that."

Alphonse looked up for all of three seconds, before his head dipped to stare into the empty glass again.

"I know this has probably been quite a shock for you," Roy tried. Way to understate the situation.

No reaction.

Ed finally acknowledges that he should say _something_. "Uhm… this isn't exactly how I wanted you to find out that I'm ... into guys, Al," he said.

Roy had the sudden desire to smack the idiot next to him as the younger Elric hacked out a laugh that sounded disturbingly close to a sob.

"Believe it or not, brother, I already noticed that," the blushing teen told him.

The sudden burst of amusement drowned when the boy's gaze went from his brother to the Colonel. Al quickly looked back to his brother.

"And no, not just now. Brother, I've seen you staring at the Colonel's... uhm… backside...more than once. And I've seen him staring at yours too. I already knew he wanted to do … _that_…with you." Al's voice sounded a bit shrill by the end of that little speech, but the young man caught himself before going on. "I just wasn't expecting you to go at it in the kitchen! Brother, the kitchen! You _cook_ in there! That's ... that's... not very hygienic." Al concluded, rather weakly Roy thought.

But now that he'd started, the floodgates opened and the youngest Elric warmed up to his rant.

"And I thought you were mad at the Colonel!" he continued. "I wasn't even gone for a whole hour! How could you go from 'I want to kill that Bastard!' to ... to ... _fucking_ on the kitchen floor?"

Roy shouldn't have been so mortified to hear Alphonse Elric use the word 'fucking', but damn it if wasn't weird. Like some kind of fairy tale prince talking dirty. But it also reminded Roy that Al had no idea that this was not the first time he and Ed had made out. From Alphonse' point of view this whole thing was terribly sudden. No wonder the boy had thought Roy's moans were the result of violence, and had rushed into the kitchen expecting to break up a fight.

"Brother, please tell me you´re not that easy," Alphonse pleaded.

The older sibling, face still aflame, shot his almost lover a wary glance when Roy let out a suspicious cough. Trying his best to keep smug comments about how no one could resist the Mustang charm to himself, Roy schooled his features to neutrality. Ed had been far from easy, considering how long it took him to let Roy get close, but yes, Roy felt he had every right to be smug about that.

Having received no answer, Al sighed and continued. "I've heard that the Colonel is about as hard to get as a street walker."

"Uhm…" Roy blinked and was about to object to that comparison, but found that he couldn't. He wasn't exactly sure how to explain that _he_ wasn´t easy either. Well, at least not _that_ easy. Not anymore.

Ed just sat there, biting his lip hard as he tried to suppress the sudden urge to laugh.

But Al still wasn't finished. "Have you even considered all the… stuff you could catch from taking… _that_ into your mouth?" Al ranted on.

Feeling his face aflame, the Colonel buried it in his hands for a moment before he looked at Edward. Who also appeared at a loss for words. This was worse than any sex talk with a parent.

"Did you even think to ask the Colonel if he'd seen a doctor recently? I mean, with the promiscuous lifestyle he leads, he should have regular checkups just to make sure he doesn´t spread some nasty social disease around."

Okay, that was going too far.

"I assure you, Alphonse, your concern for your brother's health is not necessary. I do in fact get regular checkups, no matter what happens in between them," Roy stated in a sour tone of voice.

Al had the decency to look contrite. He glanced at the empty water pitcher, picked it up and went to refill it. Roy suspected the teen needed an excuse to avoid looking at Roy, feeling guilty about making those callous comments no doubt.

"And your other concerns is quite unnecessary as well," Roy told him when he returned and began filling the water glasses. "I´m actually not spending very much time dating these days." Thanks to the bet. "I've become more involved with academic pursuits." Al didn´t have to look so skeptical. "Instead, I spend a considerable amount of my spare time doing alchemic research – and incidentally feeding your brother."

Roy shot a smirk in Edward's direction, a thinly veiled attempt to shift Al's attention there as well. All he got for his troubles however was a disgruntled pout from the older blond. An adorably disgruntled pout. Not that Roy would ever considered using the term 'adorable' in connection with his former subordinate. At least not out loud where the young man's could hear him.

Al's attention remained firmly on the Colonel, and he appeared to have gotten over his inability to look the dark haired man in the eye. His embarrassment over what he had witnessed earlier in the kitchen was now replaced by a considerable measure of remorse. The younger Elric's rant had likely been his unusual way of coping with the situation, but he must have suddenly realized that he had more or less called the Colonel a whore.

Sitting back down in the armchair, the youngster clasped his hands around his glass of water and sighed. "I´m sorry, Sir," the young man said quietly. "I didn´t mean to be so blunt. That was terribly rude."

Roy sighed in defeat and the older blond beside him chuckled. Ed had also noted what his brother had said – and had not said. Al had not retracted his opinion of the Colonel's reputation. He had simply apologized for his rudeness.

"So… you´re fine with this?" Edward asked, in disbelief tinted with hope.

"I...guess so," the teen said with some reluctance, smiling awkwardly.

Alphonse took a sip of his water. Roy, thinking the worst was over, took a swallow of his as well.

"But I certainly never expected the Colonel to be the girl in this." Al offered.

Roy did his best not to spew his water all over Alphonse, but it took several minutes before he was able to get over his coughing fit and breathe normally again. Having Ed between his legs did _not_ make him the girl. Or even the submissive partner. Edward had been about to suck his dick, damn it. Emphasis on the _dick_. Roy Mustang, decorated Flame Colonel, Hero of Ishbal, was not a girl! Ed's poorly suppressed chuckles were annoying in the extreme.

Until they stopped abruptly.

"Wait, you thought _I would be the girl_?"

* * *

Maes set the phone down.

He had found out a few very interesting things, and had to adjust his opinion regarding the older Elric, but had been unable to uncover anything to shed light on where Edward might have picked up skills in interrogation defense. There really was only one source of information left.

And that one was off limits – Edward himself. Maes had no idea where Ed had been for the two years he'd been missing, but if that was where he had picked up the techniques necessary to so easily evade the interrogation methods of a seasoned pro, it couldn´t have been a very nice place. The only way the young man could have gotten this good this fast was in desperate circumstances, possibly even life-threatening situations. Which fit with the changes Maes had observed in the young alchemist. Edward had developed an astonishing amount of distrust, even towards people Maes was sure he considered friends.

However, there were still things a good interrogator could learn about the person he was questioning. Even when that person did not answer a single question, one´s body did. Reactions might be faint and suppressed, but were always there. And Maes Hughes would never have been in the position he was now if he weren´t a master at reading body language.

Thinking back to his dinner meeting with Edward, Maes leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes in concentration. Certain topics had made the man young man tense, though the betrayal of his body had been almost unnoticeable. Ed had done his best to contain them, but it was effectively impossible to suppress them completely. To the best of Maes recollection, there were two main topics of conversation that stressed Edward enough that his body language betrayed him.

Romantic relationships were one. The young man became extremely close lipped whenever the conversation turned in that direction. Maes had hinted that he knew about Ed and Roy to gauge the younger man's reaction, so Ed was aware of this. Maes was also fairly certain that the older Elric did not know about the bet, so the young man had to assume that Roy told Maes about them. The Investigations officer sincerely hoped that Edward had not found out about the spy he had arranged to take photos of them. The former State Alchemist was distrustful enough as it was.

But since Edward was aware that Maes knew about his and Roy's newly discovered attraction to each other, it should have been relatively easy for Maes to pry out at least _some_ information about the progress Ed was making in getting Roy into his bed. It hadn't been. And the young blond had been equally tight lipped about possible former lovers as well.

Maes tilted his chair back and folded his hands across his chest with a sigh. It would probably take considerable time to earn this new, more suspicious Ed's trust, but the Lieutenant Colonel was confident that he could eventually do so. And it wasn't so much a matter of professional pride, as a legitimate concern for Edward's wellbeing. The former Fullmetal Alchemist seemed to have isolated himself, and that was not healthy behavior for a talented and intelligent young person. Ed had spent two long years trying to get home, and Maes would be damned if he allowed the young man to shut himself away from the world, literally or figuratively, now that he was.

Ed's whereabouts during those two years had also been a stressful topic of conversation for the young man, Maes recalled. Edward had not been willing to offer any information whatsoever about where he had been, and no amount of prying, subtle or blatant, had changed that. As long as Ed had a choice in this, he would not say a word. At least, that´s what his body language said.

But he _had_ spoken about it. To Roy.

There weren´t too many conclusions to be drawn from this.

And Maes didn´t like a single one.

* * *

"Al." Ed took a deep, frustrated breath and looked at his brother. "It doesn´t really work that way."

Edward Elric explaining the bees and, well, the bees to his brother, at the younger brother's insistence, was not something Roy thought he should hear. This uncomfortable lecture had the potential to become either a severe trauma, or a really awkward disaster. Or both. Either way, Roy was pretty sure that this was going to be hilariously educational. Not to mention that it served Edward right for letting Roy suffer with a hard dick and bound wrists, the brat. The Colonel wasn't sure how he would make it home if the ache in his lap did not decrease by the time he had to leave. Blue balls were a condition he had suffered far too often in the last two weeks, a condition he hoped never to experience again once this bet was over. There were still twelve days left until he was off the hook however, and Roy didn't hold out much hope for his poor, colorful balls catching a break in the mean time. As for his dick, he had barely managed to get the vengeful General back into his pants.

"I mean, neither one of us is a girl," Ed continued. "It wouldn´t be a gay relationship if a girl were involved. I mean, it´s kind of… uhm… hard ..." Ed blushed a deep red and Al stared at his brother like the fly at the spider.

"Hard ... ?" If possible, the younger blonde´s eyes even got bigger, and he looked ready to faint.

His older sibling seemed to realize what exactly he had just said and how it could be interpreted. "To explain! I mean it´s hard to explain!" Ed blushed and looked at his hands.

Roy had to bite his lip to not make a sound betraying his amusement. Unable to cope with this situation, Ed was only making matters worse. Roy suspected that Al's insistence that Ed explain the dynamics of a gay relationship had more to do with exacting revenge on his brother than a legitimate desire to understand. Indeed, Roy also suspected that Alphonse understood far more than he let on.

The youngster's next words confirmed this. "Uhm… brother?" Alphonse's hesitant question made Ed look up warily. "You don´t need to explain ... _that_ to me. I do already know about those things."

"You do?" Ed's voice had gone up a full octave.

"Of course I do," Al nodded with an innocent smile on his lips. "It was pretty obvious that you two were attracted to each other, so I thought that while you two were _talking_ –" he send a disapproving glance their way, "-I could go to the library and – "

Al stopped and looked around, then winced with apparent guilt and quickly got to his feed. Only now did Roy notice the large cloth bag lying by the door where it had most likely been dropped when Al had rushed to the kitchen to break up the fight he expected to find.

The young man returned to his seat and began to pull book after book out of the bag, placing them on the coffee table.

LGBTQ Amestris Today: An Encyclopedia.

Gay and Lesbian Issues: A Reference Handbook.

Routledge International Encyclopedia of Queer Culture.

Gay, Straight, and the Reason Why: The Science of Sexual Orientation

In the Pink.

Roy blinked, trying to rid his mind of the image of Alphonse Elric searching the library for books on homosexuality, but his mind didn't want to cooperate. The stack on the coffee table was still growing.

"Al, books are not the answer to everything," he said.

Ed however didn´t seem to find anything strange in the situation. Probably because, as an Elric, he would have done the same. No matter what topic, a library and books were always their first step into informing themselves.

Reaching out to take a look at the books, the Colonel noticed a bookmark in between the pages of one. He picked it up to see the title.

"Gay Relationships for Dummies." He read aloud, not really believing that there was actually a book with a title like that.

"Are you serious?" Ed leaned over and snatched the book away.

The next one held the glorious, rainbow-colored title 'The Gay Book'. Roy flipped it open at random, and wished he hadn't. He would have preferred to live without seeing the picture of two hairy men in their late forties making out. Thankfully the men were positioned so that the Colonel's eyes were spared the worst. There were probably plenty of people who preferred bears like that, but Roy was not one of them. Really, a man can shave. Make that bit of effort and distance ones appearance from that of a damn gorilla.

Not daring to chance another visual assault, Roy settled for reading more titles.

My Gay Son.

Gay Reality.

Gay – Lifestyle and Culture.

Roy felt offended, though he knew that was unreasonable. Hadn't these authors ever heard of bisexuality?

Hold on.

_Gay_masutra?

Roy glanced at Al, but the teen looked like innocence personified while he observed his brother flipping through one of the other books. Ed suddenly appeared quite offended and closed the questionable text with a bang, throwing it on the table.

"What a load of crap," he commented. "Who wrote this? A woman?"

While Roy would have asked his former subordinate to elaborate any other day, his gaze wandered back to the book in his hand.

"Al… you didn't pick all these out by yourself, did you?" the Flame Alchemist asked with suspicion.

"No, the librarian helped me," Al told him. "He said I should come back if I have any questions."

"What the fuck?" Edward had noticed the title of the book Roy was holding, but Roy was prepared and Ed's attempt to snatch that book away failed. The blond frowned and opened his mouth, a combination of an insult and a demand forthcoming, but the raven haired man cut him off.

"Al, did the man ... offer you any other ... help?" Of course an offer of help could be simply that, but considering the book he was holding, Roy very much doubted it.

"Well, he told me he had a few other books at home that I might want to look at. He said I could come over and see them anytime I wanted."

The Colonel let the book fall just in time to wrap his arms around Edward's hips and pull the man into his lap before he could storm raging out of the apartment.

"What the – let go!" The struggling man demanded.

"Where do you think you're going?" Roy ground out through gritted teeth. Damn, the younger man was certainly eager to go. The Colonel barely managed to keep him down.

"To return these books," Ed snarled, the venom in his voice a clear indication that the poor librarian would also get a metal fist in his face for hitting on Edward's little brother. "That guy was trying to get into my baby brother's pants!" Now, that just sounded weird.

"He was trying to get into your younger brother's pants. Who is in his teens." Roy reminded the blond, and Ed froze. That was better. Ed shifted around until he could look his former superior in the face. Yes, much better. Ed was a very comfortable weight on his thighs. The Colonel wrapped his arms around the slender waist to keep the younger man in place.

"Now Edward," the older man began, "Don't you think you're overreacting?"

Alphonse interrupted before his brother could respond. "Really, brother. I wasn't born yesterday. I´m old enough know when someone is interested in me. I noticed that he was gay, too, even before he offered to show me his ... private collection."

Roy automatically started to play his fingers lightly over the cotton of Ed's shirt soothingly as he contemplated what he had just heard. While most people thought of Al as too sweet and innocent to notice even a blatant sexual innuendo, the boy had figured out Roy's – and his brother's – inclination towards each other very quickly. Much faster in fact than Roy's much more mature and jaded crew. So he wasn´t really surprised that Alphonse had noticed the librarian hitting on him. He just wished that youngster had chosen his words of defense more carefully. Contemplating the 'private collection' the librarian planned to display for Alphonse' viewing pleasure was sure to be upsetting for the blond, amber eyed champion of his brother's virtue.

Roy's assessment of the situation was quickly proven correct. Ed's face darkened in a terrifying mixture of rage and horror. It took him a moment to realize that his little brother was indeed of legal age, mentally if not physically, and therefore permitted free access to things like alcohol and porn. Alphonse was also free to have sex with a partner or partners of his own choosing. And while Roy certainly did not want to think of Al doing those things, he at least acknowledged Alphonse's right to do them.

Edward's hands had locked on Roy's wrists, stopping the comforting movement of the older man's hands. The blond shifted a bit closer to better balance his weight. Roy could feel the tension thrumming through Edward's body.

"You don´t plan to take that guy up on his offer, do you Al?" Edward asked, sounding very much like a man in need of a drink.

"I do."

When Edward let out a sound that reminded Roy of a dying animal, Alphonse finally took some pity on his brother. "But not for that. The Colonel is right. Books can't answer every question. I can ask that guy about how his friends and family took his outing. And maybe he can give me some advice about how to deal with that." The teen's sheepish grin reminded Roy very much of his brother. "I know that's not what he had in mind when he extended his offer, but I really don´t want to have _you_ explain things to me."

Edward crossed his arms over his chest, likely taking that comment as an insult to his ability to explain things to his brother.

Al held up a placating hand. "I just don´t want to think about you doing the stuff you are talking about," Al elaborated. "So… can you please get off the Colonel's lap? His hands are under your shirt."

Now, when did that happen? Roy quickly got his hands away from the warm skin and lifted them in much the same way he did when Riza's gun was aimed at him.

Sadly, that gave the discomfited older Elric the opportunity to slide off his lap, and Roy's hands, now Elric-free, quickly moved in search of a new distraction from the fact that the general had rather enjoyed having Ed so near. The last thing Roy needed was to have yet another boner while Al was present. He reached randomly for the nearest book and absently started to flip through the pages before really looking at it.

Damn. It just had to be the gay Kama Sutra.

"Fine. But if he tries anything – " the Colonel barely registered Edward' voice as he examined the picture on the page along with the description.

Now, that looked … painful. Roy was very sure he would not be able to move his body into that position without injuring himself. Maybe this book could help prevent a hard on after all. He turned the page. And stared. Roy quickly snatched a pillow and placed it in his lap to hide his beginning excitement. "Uhm… Ed?"

"- I should kick him in the sack, and get out of there. Yeah, I get it." Al finished his brother's thoughts on how to avoid unwanted romantic advances.

Satisfied that his little brother understood the logistics, the older Elric turned to Roy. Who had turned the book so the content would face his former subordinate.

"Think you can bend like that?" The Colonel asked. Yes, the question was a bit on the suicidal side, but the general was dying to know, and this time Roy was in complete agreement with his superior.

Edward was outraged. "Mustang!" He hissed in a tone that made Roy's dick wince. "You damn, perverted -" then Ed's gaze locked on the illustration and he stopped mid-sentence. "Uhm … that is definitely do-able." The younger man's contemplative tone alone was enough make the Colonel's member jump up like a pensioner who just got his 'bingo' after unsuccessful decades of playing the game.

Roy was more than tempted to drag the young man into the bedroom and get living proof of Ed's flexibility. His imagination had already started to warm up.

Until Al let out a pained sound and once again, hid his deep red face behind his hands.

No sex with Al around. Damn.

At least Roy was not the only one to suffer. The resignation on Alphonse' face showed what he thought of his chances to avoid thoughts about his brother having sex.

When he was finally able to look up again, the youngster sent Roy a very lethal glare.

Uh oh.

Al turned to Edward, smiling sweetly. In a tone that was far too innocent to be convincing to anyone other than his brother, he asked, as if any answer other than 'yes' might destroy his whole world view, "So, since the two of you are doing intimate stuff already, is it safe to say that the Colonel is your boyfriend?"

Damn brat.

**tbc.**

* * *

I really love cliffhanger :D

* * *

Lorelei: I´m happy it was worth the wait :D I hope this break wasn´t too long ^^ And thank you for mentioning your thoughts about the characters :D You have no idea how much I value IC.

As for the amount of chapters… the best thing I could give you is a guess. I don´t plan the chapters in detail, just the basic storyline ^^ That gives me more flexibility for any hits coming from my muse – such as Al visiting the library and the resulting book scene. That was not part of the original plan :D

Sinner: o_o in one sitting? You must have been tired ^^° At least it spared you some long breaks :D But I´m happy you enjoyed the fic so much and will do my best so you will do it with the rest of the story :D

0oJustAFeelingo0: You are so right about the siblings ^^° Since your pm's are disabled, I can either answer you here or – if you prefer- not answer ^^ Please let me know.

Darien: Your friend did and thank you for reviewing as well ^^ But I think it´s good that she´s been right :D I´m very happy you had so much fun reading. (that question mark is very well placed there XD And I think Al would very much agree with it ^.~)

J: XD more than Mustang? But not more than the general? ^^ but since you still are waiting for an update, I dare to hope you are masochistic enough to enjoy the torture ^.~


	28. The Risk of Getting Burned

**AN: **… *hides behind a solid rock* uhm…yes, I know ^^ Another huge break….I apologize for the long wait ^^ Feel free to throw your foul tomatoes but please, spare my laptop ^^ ° it´s not the one at fault here ._. (And I need it to write the next chapters ) Well, at least that gives me yet another New Year's resolution for Silvester ^^°

As promised, I will close the poll within the next days :D So you will be able to see the results ^^ I did have two people contacting me out of the poll. So please, add another point for the neutral vote and one for Roy ( \o/ the glorious winner… at least for the poll XD)

Many thanks to my beta&co-author Ca11iope. Without her, all the parts won´t be as good as they are :D

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 27: The Risk of Getting Burned**

Roy walked into his home, removed his coat, and went directly to his bedroom, closing the door behind him with a relieved sigh. He only just resisted the urge to immediately fall face down on the mattress, electing instead to strip down to his boxers before laying down and letting himself relax completely.

The frantic pace of the last few weeks was rapidly catching up to him. The dizzying highs and dismal lows, the repeated denial of his body's needs, and the nagging of his mind was exhausting him. He had been on constant alert all day, every day, dealing with the stress of a demanding career and the additional challenges the bet was placing on him. He felt worn out in both body and soul, the long walk home through the cold, quiet evening not able to clear his mind, and even slipping into the comfort of his bed did little to calm the rush of thoughts through his head.

He had almost lost the bet tonight. Roy knew full well that if Al hadn't interrupted, it would have been over. He held no illusions about that. But it wasn´t just the fact that he had almost lost the bet that kept spinning in his mind. What bothered him most was that even though he was well aware of the consequences, he hasn´t spared them a single coherent thought. Hell, after a certain point the infamous Flame Alchemist had not been able to even form one. For a man renowned for his self control, it was very disturbing.

The Colonel knew that if things continued this way, he was going to lose the bet, no question. He had to be more careful, especially around Edward, but that was proving to be easier said than done. Roy sifted through his memory of the evening's events, trying to recognize exactly when he had crossed the line between staying in control and losing it, and was unable to do so. What had happened went far beyond simple distraction. He had been eager to touch the younger man after being so callously pushed away by an angry Edward earlier. Overcoming that challenge, gaining Ed's forgiveness and coaxing the man back into his arms, had been exhilarating. But it had not gone the way Roy had expected. He had not been able to gain the upper hand. Despite having achieved his goal, the situation had not developed the way he had planned.

Not that he minded. Quite the contrary. It was thrilling. Dealing with Ed was like a constant walk on a high wire, and Roy Mustang was very much into embracing the risk. Not one to seek meaningless thrills out of pure boredom, he had never sought to place himself in difficult situations just to test the limits of his abilities. No, that kind of behavior was pure foolishness, and Roy was no fool. His adrenalin surge came from meeting the challenges that leaped up unexpectedly despite all his planning and calculation, the kind of test that demand all of his attention, kept him on his toes, kept him constantly on the alert. It was like handling a wildfire on the edge of his control, and Roy had become the Flame Alchemist for a reason.

Metaphorically speaking, that elemental principle dominated a fundamental part of his life.

Fire was his fascination, only increased by the possibility of being burned. Not the small, harmless, easily controlled flames. Not the softly glowing candle, the comfortable warmth of a gently burning campfire, easy to direct, easy to extinguish. These flames didn´t challenge him, test him, suit him.

It was the same with politics and the military. His career. Alchemy. Sex. He needed the challenge. The safe, easy road was never his chosen path. The real possibility of failure had to be there, or else the challenge was beneath his abilities, a waste of his valuable time.

He had found a suitable challenge in his drive for the Führer's position. His reasons for climbing through the ranks to the very top were founded in his belief that Amestris deserved a leader that put the people first, that had a vision of a strong nation united for the common good, and a plan to make that vision into reality. It was a risky goal demanding all his strategic skills, with a very high possibility that he would fail and get burned for good. And a man who could not embrace this risk was not a man fit to take up the challenge, a man who would crumble under the pressure. Roy Mustang was no such man. If he were, he would have taken a different career, would have quit the military after Ishbal to find his challenge elsewhere.

But here he was. He would not back down, would not leave matters as they were. He would reach his goal. Or die trying.

This determination, his refusal to let himself be defeated, was part of what made him into the man he was. But so did his principles, his morals, and the limits he set for his own actions. He refused to cross certain boundaries in his aim for a goal. Some people might see such limitations as a weakness, but they were wrong. It was much harder to reach a difficult objective while resisting the temptation to use callous base tactics, thereby violating personal principles. And it only made him stronger.

He was determined to fulfill his ambitions, and he refused to break his own principles.

In the military, he wanted to reach the top. Without building his leadership on the corpses of comrades and the fear of lower ranking soldiers.

In alchemy, he strived for perfection and innovation. Without breaking taboos, bound by the principle of Equivalent Exchange.

As for sex, he conquered his partners, but Roy would never lie to them. He would not pretend that it was about anything other than sex. And he would never fool his partners into believing anything else. Colonel Mustang always set things straight. Without exception, Roy told his partners what to expect. And what not to expect.

Until now.

Running the fingers of his right hand through his raven hair, the Colonel sighed and stared at the ceiling.

"What the hell am I doing?"

* * *

"Yo!" Second Lieutenant Jonsten Plapper – John to his closest comrades - shouted to his friend when he saw him enter the bar.

The greeting was far from the military standard, but he and Major Nicholas Maul weren´t just comrades anymore. Working together in Investigations they had seen gruesome and disturbing things, but it had bought them a close friendship. The difference in rank didn't matter to them, and as long as they remained professional during working hours their superior officers didn't care either. They both did their jobs, and they did them well.

The two Investigations officers made a habit of hitting the bars once a week. No one could blame a man for needing a drink after seeing the things they saw on an almost daily base. As friends, they told each other things, though discussing the details of assignments was generally frowned on. They didn't worry too much about it however. Since they both worked for the same department it wasn´t really that big a deal.

They also enjoyed the occasional friendly wager, strictly in the spirit of completion. Their latest bet centered around their latest assignment - not something they usually chose to make bets about. Still, it was harmless, and the assignment didn´t even really seem to be a military project at all.

It sure as hell provided an amusing distraction though.

That was, until John's best friend Nicholas found himself smitten with the newest addition to their team - Sue Baker, the Nature Defining Alchemist. The problem was that she seemed more interested in the subject of their investigation, much to Nicholas' displeasure. All his attempts to hit on her were failing miserably.

John was a skilled photographer, and as part of his current assignment's surveillance team, he had taken a few very… suggestive pictures. They were so suggestive in fact that he still felt like a damn peeping tom. But as a best friend, he saw his chance to help Nic out with his problem, and it hadn't taken much effort to make one extra copy of a particularly explicit photo to pass on. Proving that the object of her desire was gay should certainly be enough to get Sue down from her little daydream, and let her be more open to the advances of someone else.

At least, that's what the two friends had thought.

Until the pretty alchemist informed them that Mustang hadn´t slept with the blond man in the photograph, despite the fact that they had made out. And for some reason, she seemed upset about it.

It didn´t take long for the real reason behind their current assignment to come out – the bet and it´s conditions.

"I can´t believe it. The higher-ups putting us to work on something like this." Nic snorted into his beer glass.

Jonsten shrugged. "Hey, I´m not complaining about getting paid. I just feel like a damn voyeur or something. Still, it sure as hell beats having to take photos of yet another crime scene splashed with body parts."

"Yuck," Nic commented dryly, but kept on drinking. Being older than John and higher ranked, he had enough experience under his belt to know he shouldn´t let their job get to him. It had been difficult at first, building up the distance he needed for the job. But now, he just took another sip and grinned. "Don't tell me you´re not used to it yet," he teased, knowing very well how much his friend still blushed over having to investigate fraternization claims and affairs. The list of people he had caught on film sticking their dicks – and other things – into the body parts of other people – and other things - was impressive, and Nic didn´t envy Jonsten one bit. Some people had really disturbing desires.

"At least this guy's only got the hots for another guy. Could be worse," John said with a grimace. "Remember Lieutenant 'Fucked Up'?"

"Ugh." Nic's gritted teeth proved that he did indeed remember the Investigations Department's code name for the Lieutenant whose affair they had investigated a few months ago. Downing his drink in one gulp, he glared at his friend. "Next round's on you for mentioning that!"

* * *

Roy hadn´t lied. Not exactly. But he wasn't exactly being up front with Edward either.

He should have made it clear from the start, should have told Ed that all he wanted was a good fuck.

Make that a few good fucks.

And he wouldn´t mind having dinner with Edward again, as the young man proved himself to be surprisingly pleasant company.

The young man's alchemic expertise should not be overlooked either. Roy could not remember working this well with any other alchemist. He hadn't worked with many over the years, but when he had, he had found it incredibly tiring to work with people who he first had to be spoon feed the basics of fire transmutations, only to discover that the principles were beyond them. He'd had more success with those who already had some knowledge of gas transmutations, but they were a far cry from working with the vivid, lively blond. In the short time they had been working together, Roy's joint research with Edward had developed in more directions than Roy had ever thought possible. It was inspiring, and he knew that he would not neglect or abandon his alchemy again. Certainly not while he had Ed as his partner.

His research partner. Emphasis on the research.

So, to strip this down, he wanted to have Ed as his bed partner, as a date, and a research partner, on a regular basis. Permanently. Well, maybe permanently sounded a bit too… permanent for his liking. So make that at least more than once. Or twice. Okay, maybe for a few months. Maybe longer. Something along those lines.

Examining his conclusions, Roy had to admit that yes, this was not just about sex anymore.

So, what exactly was this?

Fuckbuddies?

He could almost feel Ed's metal fist in his face.

Friends with benefits?

That didn´t sound quite so bad. Less like an automail fist and more like a flesh one.

But it still didn't sound like the right answer.

* * *

Another round of beer down, and John and Nic were delighted to see more of their colleagues from the Investigations Department enter the bar. Nicholas magnanimously paid for their first round once he saw that his crush accompanied the two men and the woman working directly for General Arschloch. Nic and John soon discovered that the newcomers were also familiar with the case Sue and the two friends were currently investigating, and didn´t mind talking about it - without going into details, of course.

One of their new drinking buddies took care of the next round of drinks, the mood became relaxed, and the topic turned to the recent gossip around Headquarters.

"I heard a good one from a friend of a friend about the subject of your current investigation," one of the men confided in a low voice, leaning into the group with a leer. "He went out with a girlfriend of hers, a really hot redhead, but when it came right down to it, he couldn't get it up!"

Nic almost spilled his beer as he laughed out loud, and Jonsten smirked mischievously. As an investigations officer, John knew better than to outright believe such stories, but he also knew that most gossip held at least a grain of truth. Then it dawned to him.

"Hey! Maybe that´s why he´s suddenly interested in guys!" To his alcohol soaked brain, the conclusion was pure genius and absolutely logical.

"Huh?" It took Jonsten considerably longer to remember the name of the other officer, who appeared perplexed. He was quite sure it started with a 'S'. Or maybe it was a 'P'?

"E´s wha?" the man beside S-something or P-something slurred, definitely unable to hold his liquor as well as S-some…. the other guy.

In his own boozed state, John suddenly found the whole thing incredibly funny, including the face the drunk man was pulling, and the way he and the not so drunk soldier with the unremembered name looked at each other when John confirmed that he had their target on film making out with another guy.

"Ya tellin me, e´s a fuckn f-" The drunk one started, but Sue quickly cut him off.

"We shouldn´t discuss this here." She interrupted with a hiss.

Well, she was right. Gossip or not, it was still a mission. And they were officers of the Investigations Department. They wouldn´t talk about their jobs in a way that might give away valuable information. They never mentioned names in public. They didn´t even talk about critical information in public.

So, since they were still in the mood to talk about this, they changed locations. Along with a few bottles purchased from the bar's storage room.

After all, they had a lot to speculate about.

* * *

Having to admit that this was not just about sex was not making the situation any clearer for Roy. In fact, it complicated things. And it was – as unbelievable as it might sound, for a man who knew his way around the bedrooms like Roy did – not a situation Roy was accustomed to.

It was a good thing Ed had not demand that the Colonel answer his younger brother's question, because he didn't have the slightest clue how to address it, even now.

However, despite being spared from answering, Ed's own response to Roy's silence left the Colonel quite off balance.

At first, the question had hung in the air, no one offering a single word. Then Al's eyebrows had risen in surprise.

"It´s complicated, isn´t it?" he asked carefully, his hesitant conclusion.

Roy had wondered what the youngster was thinking to say that. Sex was not complicated… as long as one didn´t try to go through all the poses in the book he still held in his hand. Sex was sex.

"I know what I´m doing," Ed quietly assured his brother.

Roy was stunned, though he did an admirable job of hiding it. He had not expected Ed to say anything at all, so it came as a surprise when the young man did. And his words...but for the intensity, the tone, he might almost have sounded like a child insisting on being an adult. What the hell was up with that?

Why didn't he just say yes, or no, or best of all, I don't know?

If Ed was aware of the Colonel's attitude towards his dates – namely, fuck them and leave them– he should have said so. If he was hoping for more – he should also have said so, so that Roy could have corrected him.

But 'I know what I'm doing'? What the fuck was that?

Damn Al, as the boy did not press for clarification, either because he understood Ed's answer, or because he planned to question Edward further once Roy was out of the door.

Roy damned his own ego for preventing him from asking Ed what he meant, but there was no way that Roy Mustang, Central's most sought after bachelor, would ask his not-even-official date what he thought in regards to being his boyfriend or not. Never going to happen. No way in hell.

So now he was left to brood over that strange answer.

Fuck, he felt like an idiot.

Again.

Roy really needed to get some sleep.

* * *

Nic wasn't quite sure where they were anymore. It was a nice place, though for some reason they were all sitting on the carpet in the living room. The carpet looked kind of familiar. Maybe this was John's place. Hell, Nic was so far gone, it might even have been his own place.

After the first bottle of vodka, the giggling of the Investigations girl didn´t sound so annoying anymore. It still made Nic grit his teeth, but it was bearable. Sue however, Nic decided, had the most wonderful and seductive laugh he'd ever heard, and it sent shivers down his spine.

The lovely alchemist, along with the rest of them, became happier as the amount of empty bottles on the floor grew. Unfortunately, she didn´t become more open to Nic's hints, and still shoved his hand off her knee when he felt bold enough to place it there.

Sheepishly, Nic grimaced. Beaten by some impotent, gay, pretty upstart. Just peachy.

"Y' kno, he´s been makn out with that blond …" he started, only to be interrupted.

"Bitch!" The nameless soldier cursed when half of the bottle the group was currently working its way through went on his clothes as his hammered colleague tried to get a grip on it.

Nicholas had no idea if it was a curse regarding the situation, or if the man was talking about Mustang's 'friend'. It didn´t matter, so he just nodded and continued. "… of 'is. They were strippn and…"

"And?" Suddenly, he had the attention he wanted, Sue was looking at him. "Did 'e lose tha bet?" she asked.

The outburst of laugher from the male soldiers under General Arshloch's command interrupted his answer.

"So, that bet`s true? For real?" the nameless one asked. "How much money's in there?" Damn that guy, he didn´t even talk funny. Much.

His companion made a gagging sound, and for a moment Nic was afraid the guy might puke on the carpet. Or on John, who was lying on the floor, snoring softly whenever someone poked him. Clearly, the Vodka had been too much.

"Thy wre…?" Ah, if he was able to talk, maybe he wouldn´t be decorating the floor, as long as he didn't get his hands on the bottle. Thankfully, it appeared as if his more sober colleague was able to keep it out of the man's reach.

"They were?" the woman next to Sue repeated the question and leaned forward to claim the bottle herself, taking a big swig out of it. Nic's eyes went down her slender neck to her alcohol soaked blouse. Not bad. If Sue wasn't interested and he got drunk enough to ignore the girl's voice, maybe he could persuade her to leave with him. He really needed to get laid, and the rejection by his crush left him frustrated.

"No idea." He admitted and grimaced at the disappointed faces of the females. Nudging John with his foot, he reported that the photographer hadn´t managed to find a good angle to get a view of the kitchen's floor. Then he leered at the females. "But if ya wanna see some fuckn, I can-"

The sudden outburst of laughter from Sue's friend caught him by surprise.

"Eh? Doesn´t mean 'e lost the b-b-bed." What the hell was she so happy about?

He was ignored as the drunken woman fell backwards, trying to catch her breath. It gave Nic a damn good view underneath her skirt, so he didn´t complain at all, just grinned and stared. Just when he started to wonder why he had not crawled over to her yet – since walking in this state was clearly out of question- she caught herself and rolled onto her side.

Giggling, she managed to get out, "So, y guys ave no clue?"

Nic just nodded dumfounded, not sure what she was getting at. Then the female Alchemist started to giggle as well and he felt out of place. Definitely missing something here.

"What the fucks so funny?" The man across from him asked, stopping to fight his drunken comrade who was now attempting to crawl over him to get to the bottle. Attempting, as it looked rather like some weird limb coordination training.

"The regular medical checkups," Sue said with a lopsided grin, clearly expecting Nic to understand.

He didn´t. Thankfully, Sue's friend showed him some mercy and elaborated.

"It´s another way to…. Oops." The mission to straighten herself up failed miserable and the other girl was on her back again. Sadly, her feet on the floor hindered Nic's view this time. "It's 'nother way to tell if he 'ad any."

"Huh?" How would a doctor be able to tell such a thing?

"You know, a guy who's usually very active in bed." Sue´s voice took on a sultry note and Nic felt disappointed that it was once again their target evoking that reaction.

'Try to follow her speech, Nic.' He reprimanded himself. Now, if he were a man who did it with, uhm… how often did that guy do it usually..? He mentally tried to remember what he heard about Mustang and counted all the girls he knew who had slept with the man… and counted… and counted…

No freaking way…. Even after some minutes of remembering names – and his poor, abused head started to ache – there was no end of the list. Which did not speak about the quality of the list. Not a single one of the girls he came up with were the type he would toss off the bed.

Damn, now he was even more jealous.

"… and suddenly goes from hundred down to zero…" Sue's voice broke his sulking.

Okay… try to imagine that… Well, he himself hadn´t had any sex for... far too long. Then he remembered just what 'zero' meant and burst out laughing.

He probably would have pitied the guy, if he hadn't just gone over the mental fucked-by-Mustang-list.

Instead, he remembered the time after he'd had an accident. He had broken his right arm, and it was in a cast from fingertip to shoulder. His left wrist had been strained and bandaged, and hurt like hell to move. No chance of keeping up that repeated movement he had craved so much after just one week.

He was still embarrassed about what had happened on his eight day of forced abstinence. His shame had nothing to do with paying one of the girls from Central's red light district to get him off. It had been an emergency situation and there sure as hell where enough men out there paying streetwalkers without suffering distress over it. No, what still could send the blood rushing to his cheeks was the fact that he hadn´t even lasted long enough for her to give him the full service he had paid for.

Two minutes, thirty-six seconds.

It had taken her less than three minutes. His trousers pooled at his ankles, from start to finish, he hadn't even lasted three damn minutes.

Thankfully, after the cast and bandages where off, his stamina had returned to normal once he was routinely taking care of his needs. He´d done it himself, not daring to embarrass himself in front of a woman again.

And speaking of doing it, or rather not doing it ...

"Guy´s pretty d'spret by now, huh?" Nic drew his conclusion. Maybe that was why he was doing another guy. Hold up, that didn´t make any sense. Mustang wouldn´t have a problem picking up some chick, so why was he fooling around with a guy? Nic decided his alcohol soaked brain wasn't up to the task of figuring this out, and he gave up with a sigh.

"Bet he´s damn frustrated," the most sober participant of their drinking party, the nameless guy across from him, said. He sounded as if he were contemplating something.

He was.

The girl next to him smirked, before elaborating 'the plan' the masterminds of the Interrogation Department had come up with to find out about the bet's status and to tempt Mustang further.

Nic couldn´t help but grimace when he heard it.

Fine, he couldn´t stand the guy. Without even realizing it, Mustang was interfering with Nic's love life. And he'd had more hot women in his bed than Nic could ever hope to. And yes, the plan was a strange, but somewhat reasonable approach to finding out if the man had had any sex recently.

Nonetheless, this time Nic actually pitied Mustang.

**Tbc.**

* * *

I`m curious to know what you think about this one :D It´s not much fun, but there are some valid points in this one ^^ the next chapter is already on the way and will give you something to laugh again :D (I hope ^^°)

I wish all of you a happy holiday! And if I don´t make it till Silvester, a Happy New Year as well!

* * *

**Review answers non-members & disabled pm's: **

Terracannon876: You´re very welcome! I´m happy you enjoyed the talk XD Al probably won´t think much about the germs once he´s in a similar position as his brother XD But right now, I just really enjoyed feeding that lines to both Ed and Roy XD

0oJustAFellingo0: It´s no trouble at all :D At least not after I shortened the review replies in chapter ^^° I don´t think they are minded very much anymore. So… what do you think about Ed`s response? :D Not exactly what you predicted, but I hope you liked it anyway ^^

Starless-ocean: not innocent enough :D After all, he´s advanced enough to search for gayporn XD And think about the evil gems!

You made a good point with your observation about Maes :D I´m hinting at something here, but let´s save that for later chapters :D Thank you for stating your opinion on Ed ^-^ I loved your review very much!

As for the fanfics and our beloved alchemist's being confronted with gay-loving author's: There is a fanfiction out here where they get confronted with gay-loving woman and Roy peeks into spicy romance novels ^^ I won´t tell you more in case you haven´t read it yet, but I highly recommend Zakai´s 'object of gossip'. Let´s hope she will continue it, as the last update was quite a while ago ._.

Sinner: And here you scarred me for being able to read through it in a couple of hours ^^° thankfully some other readers took days ._. else I´ve been afraid that even way over 20 chapters, the story is still short…. Is it?

I´m sorry for the delay, but I´m happy to hear you freaked over the new chapter XD I hope this one will provide a similar reaction and you enjoyed reading it :D

Shane: sorry, not exactly what you wanted ^^ Still like it?

J: I always enjoy being called evil :D But I´m also happy every time writes they like the chapters ^^ thank you for the review. It´s been nice to read what you liked :D after the fun, we´re moving on to a bit of serious thinking, but the next chapter will be lighter again ^^

Ereshkigal: Happy to hear you enjoyed the story ^^ I hope you will enjoy the rest of it as well. Your vote is in good company as you can see in my profile within the next days :D You made a good point about Ed needing to learn how to relax and let himself be taken care of ^^ In later chapters you will find out more about his past :D It´s not that far away anymore ^^

Ilyena damodred: Happy to read you love the story :D Now, I haven´t thought so far about Ed getting in on the bet… you´re giving me ideas XD let´s see if I can bring them in ^ ^

Wanda: Sorry, ASAP was not very fast. Actually far from it u.u But thank you for the review ^^ I really loved it! *bows* I will do my best to keep up the quality, so you will enjoy the rest of the fic as well :D


	29. Sweet dayDreams

**Beta&Co-Author: **I love my beta ._. I really do *hugs Ca11iope*

**A/N: **Happy New Year! ^.^

* * *

**Chapter 28: Sweet (day)Dreams **

Day 19

When Roy entered the office, cranky was far too tame a description for his mood. So was 'on the edge'. There were a number of reasons for that, one of them being the absence of his usual morning inquisition. The people keeping tabs on him certainly knew he had been alone with Edward the previous evening, and the first set of pictures taken by Hughes' surveillance man proved that there was no suitable angle through Edward's window to get a decent shot of the kitchen floor. A follow-up examination by the forensic alchemist should have been a given. The Colonel had expected Sue Baker to stop by, and when that didn´t happen, he knew something was off.

But that was not the main reason for his foul mood. Roy was used to handling pressure situations like these. It was a skill he'd developed during the Ishballan Rebellion, when rebel attacks could come at any moment, from any direction. It had also served him well over the years in his rise through the ranks, as there was always someone hatching schemes in hopes of getting the better of a political opponent.

No, the real reason for the Colonel's bad temper was much simpler.

Dreams.

He had dreamed of sex. Damn good sex. All night. He had dreamed of former encounters and recent affairs. And he had dreamed of Ed. He could still feel his mind craving the ecstasy it remembered from those all too brief moments on Ed's kitchen floor, could feel the tension in his body, the need to act on his desires.

It wasn´t the first time Roy had had erotic dreams. The last time wasn't even that far in the past, as the bet had already bribed his subconscious mind into living out in his dreams what he denied his body in reality once before. It was embarrassing, since he was no longer of an age that one would expect to have such dreams. But it certainly was not the first time he woke up horny.

But this time… fuck. His mind had really outdone itself. The general had gained a powerful ally, and it left Roy cranky to a degree that made even Hawkeye wary in his presence. And that was saying something.

Once he entered the office, he found himself greeted by a pretty Warrant Officer with a sealed envelope for him. She was wearing a tiny miniskirt and a tight blouse, and after ordering her to leave the message on the table beside his couch he threw her out with a snarled reprimand about proper military attire. Leaving the envelope where it was, the Colonel closed his door and stalked over to his desk to start in on the stack of forms Hawkeye had ready for him. He was getting really tired of the pathetic games his rivals were playing to make him lose the bet.

Besides, his mind was doing a much better job of undermining his resolve than they could ever hope to.

He had woken up with morning wood just as hard as real wood, his mind haunted by erotic images and the feeling of hands on his body. The dreams had pursued him into wakefulness, and this time he hadn´t forgotten them once he was fully awake. In fact, Roy had not been able to shake them off even now. Every movement, ever so innocent, awoke the images of his dreams anew.

The water of the shower was like hands caressing his body. Touching, stroking every inch, not neglecting even the tiniest part. Combing his hair brought to mind all the lovers who had run their fingers through raven strands, and the hot and passionate kisses this action usually lead to. God, even shaving, when he had closed his eyes, he swore he could feel someone pressing against his body from behind, his neck being kissed, the slight scratching of stubble against his skin. Roy had no idea where his mind had come up with that particular fantasy. Stubble indicated a man, though Edward had been clean shaven. But Roy had dreamed of Ed as well, of hot breath against his neck and lips wandering down his torso to…

"God damn it." Roy murmured and opened his eyes to stare at the report in front of him. He threw the pen on the table and leaned back in his chair.

He didn´t need a mirror to know his face was unnaturally flushed. He had felt this way all morning, the tension coiled in his body, the slight arousal lingering at the back of his mind, ready to attack the moment he was not carefully concentrating on where his thoughts were going.

Why now? Compared to this, the last few days had been rather easy on him. Well, most of the time. But he had been under the impression that his situation was improving as his body got used to the abstinence, as long as he did not tempt fate.

Taking off his gloves, Roy ran his fingers through his hair, brushing the dark strands out of his face. They immediately fell back, but he didn´t notice, too preoccupied with keeping his mind out of the gutter.

With a weary sigh the Colonel turned his attention back to the mountain of paper on his desk. Where the hell did it all come from? With the enormous number of reports he signed each day, Amestris had to be running out of forests to produce the damn paper.

It couldn´t be helped. And it took his thoughts off of sex. He really should stop dwelling on it.

A knock on the door announced the arrival of more paperwork, and soon enough the first pile was accompanied by another impressive stack. Despite his earlier display of temper, Hawkeye cast him a disapproving glance when she noticed his lack of progress. He sent a glare back, but it did little to intimidate her. On the contrary, her eyes gained a hard edged gleam.

Well, she was a reliable Lieutenant. He needed her, so it probably was wise to spare her. And look, paperwork. Now he had something else to do other than discipline his capable and downright dangerous First Lieutenant.

Clearing his throat, he signed off and placed the current file on the depressingly tiny stack in his out box, then opened the next unfinished file. Riza nodded after one last stern look and left the office.

Glaring at the closed door, the unmotivated Colonel reached for his pen. The faint, scratching sound as he picked it up was almost too loud in the silence of the office. His nails scratched over the wooden surface of the low table he was kneeling in front of. His hand blindly searched for the edge and gripped it hard. His body was on fire, his mind numb from the alcohol, but he was still aroused enough not to care about his drunken state. Or his position, for that matter. He just wanted to feel good and damn, if that hand on his dick didn´t do the job. The other man leaned forward, his weight pressing Roy's torso against the wood. The kisses on his neck and the stubble he remembered from this morning were back, brushing against his skin. A hoarse, lust filled voice moaned his name, hot breath against his ear. The hand on his erection let go of the swollen length and Roy moaned, but the hand did not return. Instead he felt a firm grip on his hip.

"Roy…" The deep voice was shaken, and a hand reached between their bodies. There was something hard and slick pressing against him and the husky voice was back, telling him to try and relax as the other started to push forward, forward, and –

Roy quickly stood up, burying his face in his hands. Abandoning the desk, the Colonel started to pace, unable to stay still. He needed to move, he needed to think. Scratch that, he needed to stop thinking. About that. It was shocking and disturbing, how easily his mind had slipped into... whatever that was. It was suddenly there, without any warning. One moment he was trying to get himself to do his paperwork, the next he was bent over…

The alchemist stopped his pacing. Was that just some strange delusional fantasy? He was pretty sure he recognized that table. There was a fleeting, weird sense of recognition, almost like déjà vu.

He was feeling on edge again. The room was too warm. Roy took off his jacket, but the moment his arms slipped out of the sleeves, he thought of yesterday, of how his wrists had been captured and of the young man pushing him down. Of hips rocking against his and that delicious friction against his trapped arousal.

Good lord.

Distraction. He needed distraction. He was a fucking mess. Maybe he should steal Havoc's cigarettes again.

His eyes fell on the note left by the girl he had thrown out. Perhaps this was the distraction he was looking for. He instantly ripped the envelope open and read the contents.

And read it again.

At first, his medical checkup being rescheduled didn´t appear very suspicious. Until he noted that it was set for that very afternoon.

Oh damn, Hughes was pulling strings again. The last thing he needed right now.

Since he couldn´t concentrate on paperwork anyway, maybe he should try throwing stones Maes' way to see if he could find out what the man was planning – and hopefully prevent it.

However, the moment he opened his door, he found himself face to face with another of his bet enemies. Riza, with her hand lifted to knock, blinked in surprised. Then her eyes narrowed, as if to question just why he had dared to abandon his desk.

"What is it, Lieutenant?" The Colonel quickly interrupted before she could comment on his lack of progress. The authoritarian tone in his voice did the trick and Hawkeye quickly straightened herself.

"Sir." She addressed him. "There´s a message for you-"

"I already read it," he interrupted. Dark eyes narrowed as he waited for a reaction, but his Lieutenant only send him a glare and continued unimpressed.

"-from the repository. The gloves you ordered have arrived."

Talking about perfect timing. He needed to get out of here anyway.

"Then I will pick them up immediately. Lieutenant, call Lieutenant Colonel Hughes and tell him I will be over to see him shortly." Might as well squeeze information about this new scheme out of the man at the same time. Or smoke it out.

"Sir, the Lieutenant Colonel is in the main reception hall, waiting for his next scheduled meeting," she answered smoothly.

"Then I will look for him there," the Colonel replied just as smoothly, mainly to inform her that she should not expect him back too quickly. If Maes had a meeting scheduled, Roy wouldn't be able to get much information out of him, but maybe he could start by scorching the enemy a bit.

He didn´t even wonder why Hawkeye made no effort to stop him, and made no 'recommendations' that he finish his paperwork first.

* * *

Roy knew where to find Hughes. What he didn´t expect was to find Edward there as well.

But the golden fall tied into a high ponytail that ended just above a luscious, leather clad ass was a dead giveaway with the young alchemist's back towards the door Roy entered.

Well, that ass… as well as Al standing beside his brother. But the ass was definitely the sweeter hint.

Hughes stood behind the reception desk talking to the female officer stationed there, pointing enthusiastically at something on the desk – a photo album no doubt. There was absolutely no indication that the man had noticed Roy come in, but nevertheless Maes timed it perfectly. Instead of his usual tactic of shoving the album of photos into everyone's face, the man took an entirely different –and very suspicious – approach. Hughes took hold of Edward's arm and yanked the younger man forward across the desk – giving Ed a better view of the photo album, and Roy a spectacular view of Ed's gorgeous, leather covered rear. The blond alchemist let out an undignified squawk at suddenly being tugged off balance to sprawl over the reception desk, stomach pressed to the polished surface, on the tips of his toes trying to regain his footing. Roy's eyes were riveted on that stunning bit of Ed's anatomy as the blond struggled against the hold on his wrist. Not that Roy minded at all. Later, when he had time to think about the whole scenario, he would probably want to put the torch to his friend, but right now, he was really just enjoying the view.

It was a moment of epiphany. At least for the general, heaven was a place on earth with a tight, leather covered entrance, on display just in front of him. Stretched out. Inviting. Oh god, so inviting.

"You´re drooling, Sir," someone whispered next to him.

Roy forced his eyes away from the tantalizing sight before him into look at Denny Brosh's blushing face. The man cleared his throat. It appeared to take some effort for the blond sergeant to meet Roy's eyes.

"You might want to check your ... your appearance, as well, Sir," Brosh advised with a slight dip of his eyes below Roy's waist.

The Colonel, with a burgeoning feeling of doom, became aware of just how tight his trousers felt at the moment. The general was casting his vote to accept the invitation displayed in front of him.

Fuck.

Roy had left his jacket in his office. No way to cover his ... excitement. That left ...

"Your jacket, soldier," Roy snapped out the order.

"What?" Brosh sounded close to panic.

"Give me your jacket. You'll get it back when I'm done with it," Roy hissed quietly.

The Sergeant stripped off his jacket, thrusting it at his superior. "You can keep it, Sir. I've ordered a new one." Brosh certainly sucked at lying. Oh god, don´t think about sucking. Don´t think about yesterday. Don´t think about Ed or his heavenly ass.

Quickly, the Colonel folded the jacket to turn the rank insignia inside, then proceeded to drape the cloth over his arm. There, relatively safe again.

"You really don´t need to be so anal about it," Roy commented, noting the horrified look on the Sergeant's face. Damn, just what the hell was going through the other man's mind? The soldier in front of him appeared suddenly pale at the wording.

Hold on, just where was the man's partner? Brosh was rarely seen without his Second Lieutenant.

Looking about for Maria Ross, Roy found her. And felt his anger rise.

"Do you mind?" he snapped at the woman, who was enjoying the same view he himself had just pried his eyes away from. "That´s not professional behavior by any means," he chided, clearly pissed off. One look was enough to hinder Denny from pointing out another officer previously practicing that same unprofessional behavior.

Maria Ross quickly straightened up and snapped a sharp salute. "My apologies, Sir!" Then her eyes went to her partner. "Where´s your jacket?" she asked.

"Uhm…"

"Ouch. Fuck." Ed´s curse saved Denny Brosh from having to answer that question, and Maria Ross from being reminded of the presence of a superior officer by a very pissed off Roy Mustang.

All three of them looked over, to find Ed on the floor. Sitting on the very same part that had been so highly admired.

Obviously, it had taken a bit of force to free himself from Hughes' grip.

This opportunity… no way he could let it pass.

"Really, Ed." The smirk came to his face as naturally as breathing. "You shouldn´t sit on the floor. You could easily be tripped over by passing personnel. It´s hard enough to avoid stepping on you when you're on your feet. It's even more hazardous when you're sitting down."

For one, long second, it became absolutely still in the hall.

Then all hell broke loose.

"You fucking BASTARD!" Ed roared and quickly straightened himself up. "How about I wipe the floor with your damn face and we'll see who´s short!"

Maybe it was because the reference to the lack of height came at an unexpected moment, but Ed actually attempted to jump at him. It wasn't in the way Roy would have preferred Ed to throw himself at him, but thankfully, Al prevented his brother's wildly swinging arms from making contact with the Colonel.

Who stood there, smirking. Watching Ed's attempts to struggle out of his brother's grip, growling curses.

Damn, he was stunning.

And tempting.

Stepping in quickly, Roy leaned over and kissed him.

Ed froze. As did pretty much everybody in the hall.

Including Al.

The left hook hit his face with amazing speed, but thankfully Ed had aimed for the cheek, well aware of how easy such a strike could break a man's nose. Nonetheless, Roy found himself in the same position as the blond had been moments before, sitting on the floor looking up at a glaring blond. He really should have seen that one coming.

Shifting to his knees, Roy found himself at eyelevel with the man's belt. Looking up behind his lashes, he smirked.

"Well, if you wanted me on the floor you could have said so, Edward," Roy purred. "Really, I don´t mind, though I wasn't aware you liked to have an audien-"

Al's embarrassed choke interrupted Roy's comment, but it didn't matter. He had accomplished his purpose. Ed's face had turned a very endearing shade of red.

"Roy? What are you doing here?" Oddly enough, Hughes honestly sounded as if he hadn't planned that presentation of Ed's ass to the entire hall, including Roy. Too bad the timing was a bit too convenient for Mustang's liking.

"I´m just heading to the repository to pick up the new gloves I ordered," he informed the man, as if Hughes didn´t already know.

"Might as well order a few more pairs." Ed grumbled, still blushing.

"Pardon me?" The Flame Alchemist asked as he picked himself up from the floor. At least his boner was gone. Good thing he was not masochistic enough to get off on having his face beaten.

"Order more." Edward repeated annoyed. "I want to test a few of the arrays we designed."

Raising one eyebrow, Roy wondered if the young man knew just how hard it was to find that particular material… and actually, it had taken surprisingly long for the order to arrive. He would have to have a word with the supply officer. Now that was something to look forward to. Reprimanding the ex-boyfriend of a past affair for making trouble for him.

One look at Ed's face and the Colonel knew that the blond man was aware of the scarcity of the material, and didn´t give a shit. As usual.

So all Roy did was sigh resignedly. "I live to obey," the Colonel muttered, bowing to his former subordinate.

Who ignored the biting sarcasm and looked at him thoughtfully. "If only," he said in a wistful tone.

Roy found himself smirking again. "Now, there's an idea. If we get a uniform for you, we could play –"

"Way too much information, Roy!" Hughes interrupted, easily seeing where the conversation was leading.

Damn the man, spoiling his fun. Roy had been curious to see how Ed would react to the offer of a little role play in the bedroom.

"Speaking about clothes," Al cut in, likely in self defense. "We had hoped you might have some time to head over to your place during lunch break, so I could get my suitcase."

Roy sent a look to Ed and found himself observed in a way that made him think of sex again. So he quickly turned back to Al before he had to deal with yet another encounter with his imagination.

"Of course, Al. It´s no problem at all."

"See, I told you so," Ed grumbled to his brother, then turned back to the Colonel, thankfully no longer undressing him with his eyes. "And since it´s your lunch break, we could use something to eat as well. Think you have enough time to make a few pancakes?"

"Brother!" Al sounded both embarrassed and resigned to his brother's behavior.

"My lunch break's a bit too… short for that." When Roy said the dreaded s-word, he could see Ed's eyes narrow, reminding him very much of a cat ready to pounce. But sadly, the man had a good hold on his temper again. Roy would have to wait for another chance to catch him off guard.

"Well, if you're not _too_ late I´m sure Riza won´t mind." Hughes offered, probably eager to keep Roy's currently biggest weakness in the Colonel's presence. The man obviously didn´t know about the 'no fucking with Al around'- rule. "I´ll give her a call," the investigations officer promised. He obviously didn't know about the unfinished paperwork either. Yet. "We can´t have Al walking around in the same clothes all the time. Or hungry."

It took all Roy's self control to keep his evil smile in check. His voice level, he said, "Sure, if you don´t mind calling her." He wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth. And he had absolutely no qualms about putting his best friend in the line of fire either. "I´ll take these two to my place first, and then I´ll pick up the gloves." He quickly took hold of Edward's arm and dragged the alchemist along. Knowing that Al would follow, he made a run for it.

It was a good hour before his lunch break officially started.

**Tbc.**

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:D

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**Review-replies non-members and disabled pm:**

Kimberley Francisca: Soon enough? ^^ I´m happy to hear you love the story ^^ I hope you enjoyed that chapter as well :D

Lorelei: No, I believe this time the update was faster XD You know, I can´t really tell you if your guess is right, that would mean spoilering people ^^° So, I guess you have to wait how it turns out :D As for the days left: This is the 19th day, so a bit more than half of the bet is over ^^

0oJustAFeelingo0: I´m really sorry it took so long ^^ But I´m happy to hear the fic was not abandoned by you and you still thought of it :D I know exactly what you mean by all the good fics on hiatus or abandoned ;_; So, as long as nothing serious happens and as long as my beta is by my side, I refuse to abandon even a single story ._. Even if sometimes I take really long to update u.u As for Roy's feelings: I hope you like the development ^.~

Major ed groupie: I´m happy you do :D Hm, I can´t really answer any of these questions without spoilering ;_; Well, except for the one with the librarian XD Ed already assured that Al knows where to place his foot if the man get´s to eager :D And well, it´s not like Al is not a very good alchemist and trained in close combat ^.~


	30. Lessons and Examinations

**A/N**: The only reason I dare to actually walk in here again is that most likely, I won´t be killed until the story is over at least ^^° But before anyone here decides I don´t need all my limps to continue writing: I bring a peace offering! This part is a good bit longer than usual ^^ And there are a few hints in here and I know some people are waiting for it XD Have fun reading!

**Beta&Co-Author:** Ca11iope ^^ I love you. Yes, I still do. You won´t get rid of me anymore as long as you want to do the job :D I´ll hug you and feed you chapters and… I won´t name you George, but I don´t think you even want that ^^° Thank you for doing the work even though I know RL had been a bitch to you recently ._. I really appreciate it :D *hug*

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**Chapter 29: Lessons and Examinations **

Eyes on the road as he drove towards his house, Roy worked at settling down. Silently celebrating his daring escape from Headquarter hadn't done much to quell the prickling of anger the Colonel still felt at what had happened in the reception hall. He really should stop seething over something as insignificant as other people ogling Ed. The attractive young man was practically screaming for the attention by wearing leather again, though he seemed oblivious to the fact. Surely he was aware that his ass was far more than just nice to look at.

Edward was certainly not the first of Roy's lovers, or in this case potential lovers, who received a lot of appreciative attention from others. In the past however, Roy had never given a fuck about it. Up until now, he wouldn´t have given a second thought to whether one of the people eyeing his current prey might be her next lover. It just didn't matter.

But for some reason, this time it did. It had to be because of the bet. The fact that Roy wasn't free to definitively stake his claim by fucking Edward into the nearest solid surface had to be what was triggering these feelings of insecurity. So until this stupid wager was resolved, everyone could find someone else's ass to stare at damn it! Edward was taken! Not _forever_ taken of course, but right now Roy was in the driver's seat, so everybody else had best back the hell off. Apparently he needed to clarify that point. Which was fine, because it fit with the plan Roy already had in mind to give Ed a bit of payback for that whole kitchen affair.

He might be considered a foolhardy idiot for what he had planned, especially taking into account the whole situation, but Roy really needed to set a few things straight. And yes, he loved to play with fire, but giving Ed a return bill was only part of this. Roy also needed to know that he had at least a similar effect on Edward as the blond had on him, and it wasn't only Roy's ego that needed reassurance. He was also curious as to whether he could pull this off. And he wanted to experiment a bit. Sure, he was limited in how far he could go, but Roy Mustang was nothing if not versatile. He would work with whatever was available.

After a few minutes of driving, Roy started to wonder why both Elrics were suspiciously silent. Sending a glance to the older blond sitting in the passenger's seat beside him, he noted that the young man was very close to dozing off. A look into the rearview mirror confirmed that Al didn´t exactly look well rested either, eyes closed and head leaned back. If his deep, even breathing was anything to go by, the younger Elric was close to falling asleep as well. Roy guessed that the two brothers had likely talked the whole night, Alphonse driven in his desire to learn as much as he could about their shared past.

And obviously, it had been exhausting. No wonder, with all that had happened to these two young men, talking about the past was probably an emotional rollercoaster for both of them.

Once again, the nagging question of whether they talked about him, or about any other relationships Ed might have had, was back. The strange answer Ed had given to his brother's misgivings must surely have been questioned once Roy had left. Or maybe Alphonse had understood what Ed meant by that weird statement. If so, then the younger Elric was one up on Roy.

The Colonel was itching to know what the former Fullmetal was thinking. He also wondered if Al knew about Ed's engagement ring, and if Edward had told his brother about his former partner. Roy was certain that Ed had not been wearing the ring during the kitchen floor seduction Alphonse had interrupted. Maybe Ed had taken it off during his shower. The way he had stormed out of the bathroom might explain why he had not put it on. It was possible that he had forgotten to go back for it, the nervous tension distracting him. It was still quite possible that he had told Alphonse about it, or that the younger Elric saw it when Ed pulled it on sometime later. Roy made plans to ask the younger Elric if he had learned anything about the time his brother had spent in the other world the first chance he had to get the youngster alone.

Pulling up in front of the Colonel's home a short time later found both Elric fast asleep. With a smile tugging at the corners of his lips, Roy considered all the delectable ways he could raise Edward from his slumber. Edward's head leaned against the window, tanned neck just begging to be the touched by Roy's lips. A formfitting, black turtleneck effectively hid the hickeys Roy had left there during their last make out, but with his head tilted to the side there was plenty of skin displayed to give Roy ideas.

And the Colonel had to admit, he rather enjoyed twisting both Ed's and Al's tails by seeing just how far he could go before he was stopped. Talk about playing with the fire.

His lips met the soft skin of Ed's neck the same moment he placed his hand on the man's thigh. Ed gave a quiet sigh and tilted his head back, instinctively offering the man more space. And not only in regards to his neck. His legs also shifted slightly apart. Just a bit, but damn if that wasn´t tempting.

The situation very much reminded Roy of their first make out session, a few days ago on the couch. There was supple leather instead of naked skin, but Roy didn´t care. His hand slipped between the leather covered legs to brush over the inside of a thigh as he gently nipped the skin just beneath the younger man's ear. The reaction was delicious. Ed's breath stopped for a moment and the man shifted a bit in his seat in a way that left the Colonel pretty sure that Ed's pants had started to feel a bit uncomfortable.

"Hm… Roy?" It was a sleepy mumble, but there was already a tense edge to it.

Oh fuck. Did Ed react like that every time he was woken up this way? And why did Roy have the sudden urge to burn anyone who might have the answer? 'Morning sex' was the first thing that sprang to his mind, and in Roy's opinion there was no better way to start the day, though he didn´t often have the opportunity. As much as he slept around, he rarely stayed long enough to wake up in someone's arms.

And if he continued this, it would stay that way. Because he had no desire to fall asleep in the arms of his best friend's idea of a suitable life partner. Roy had to remember to be more careful around Edward, at least for now. Reluctantly, he placed his hand back on Ed's knee.

The blond turned his head and soft lips met Roy's own. The kiss had a lazy quality to it, betraying the fact that Ed was not quite awake, and Roy gratefully took advantage of that to ravish the young man's mouth. The Colonel enjoyed a few moments of kissing a compliant blond, but sure enough, before long the young man was returning the kiss more passionately. Gloved fingers stroked his neck when he broke the kiss and Roy only caught a brief glimpse of a flushed face before his lips were captured again.

He could do this all day. Sadly, he would not be allowed to, so he reluctantly broke the kiss again, though he stayed close enough to feel warm breath on his lips.

"Slept well?" he asked, just because he knew it would provide the blond with a similar picture of waking up like this in the morning. Hearing the rough, deep voice, Ed's gaze went down to Roy's lips before returning to his eyes.

Satisfied with the reaction, and now very sure that Edward shared his opinion in regards to the perfect way to start a day, Roy smirked and leaned away. When he left the car, he peeked inconspicuously into the back of the car and barely managed to hide a mischievous grin. Al was beet red and doing his best to look out of the opposite window as if the view of the neighborhood was the most interesting thing on earth.

Both brothers quickly got out of the car as well, and strangely enough, Ed didn´t share his brother´s coloring. In fact, the young man seemed to have noticed only now that the car was parked in front of the Colonel's house. On a public street.

As he locked the car, Roy could see Ed taking in his surroundings, finally becoming aware of Al's discomfited state. Sadly, he did not turn the same deep shade of red, but as far as Roy was concerned, the faint blush would do.

Damn, he was good.

* * *

Roy could feel Edward's eyes on him as he was preparing the batter for the pancakes, and he had the feeling it had nothing to do with how he had chosen to wake the younger man up from his little nap on the way over. Ever since the Elrics had made themselves at home in Roy's kitchen, quietly watching him work, he'd had the feeling that something was not quite right.

Ed finally dropped the bomb the same moment Roy began pouring the batter into the pan.

"I- " he began, then hesitated. Roy stopped for a moment to turn around. Ed bit his lips, then pressed on. "I have two job offers. One´s in Cameron. A big project. Probably take at least two years to complete."

What the…? "Cameron?" Roy needed to be sure the man had really said what he just heard. Unfortunately, the blond man nodded.

Roy stood dumbfounded. Al also seemed baffled by this announcement, alerting Roy to the fact that this was news to him as well.

"Brother… there's _nothing_ in Cameron," he stated, and Roy had to agree.

Cameron was not exactly the ass of the world – but it was not far from it. Far to the east, it was literally in the middle of nowhere. Hell, there wasn´t even any fast way to reach that ... miniature version of a village. No train station, not even paved roads! The Colonel wasn´t even sure the village was on the telephone network.

This was ridiculous.

"A private sector research company built a state-of-the-art lab there," Ed elaborated. "They are doing alchemic research on the transmutation of natural resources, like plants, nutrient rich soil. Stuff like that. It´s mainly for the development of pharmaceutical products, but they have a purely agricultural branch too. The money is fantastic, and they'll pay a huge transfer bonus up front because their researchers will have to move out there."

No fucking way! The man better not be serious about this. Honestly, that area was far too quiet for a man like Ed. The blond would be bored stiff inside of the first ten minutes. There had to be plenty of better job opportunities for an alchemic genius of Ed's caliber, in places much closer to civilization. Like Central for example! And since when did Edward start worrying about how much money he could be making? He had never seemed to value money all that much before. Why was he even considering this option? There was nothing to consider. Ed needed to pick up the damn phone and tell those Cameron people to fuck off. Or send a carrier pigeon.

Then Ed continued. "The other job is in Central ..."

Roy's eyebrow went up. Then what exactly was the point of this conversation? The blond should just take the one in Central. Central was a wonderful place to live. And it was so … well, central. Not some tiny piece of bug shit at the edge of a very detailed map without any connections to the rest of it.

"... with the military," Ed finished.

The Colonel grimaced. That would certainly be a sticking point for Edward, no question. It wasn't that he actually hated the military. No, it was much worse. He didn't trust it.

Wait, something smelled like-

"Colonel, the pancake!" Al's cry came at the same moment that Roy's brain registered that the smell in question was burning pancake.

Tossing the ruined flapjack into the trash, Roy wondered why Hughes hadn't told him that Ed had been offered a job. He had to be aware of it. Maes was aware of everything that had anything to do with their inner circle of close personal friends. Hell, Maes was aware of just about everything important going on, and this was definitely important. There was only one explanation for Hughes' behavior, at least for someone who knew Maes as well as Roy did.

"Maes Hughes made you this job offer, didn't he," Roy said. His best friend was about to hire his… not-quite-fuckbuddy? Soon to be lover? Whatever he decided to call it, this dirty, underhanded trick was going to cost Hughes dearly. Roy hoped he could manage to hold his temper in check long enough to burn the man slowly. That would give Roy time to give his sneaky, treacherous friend a piece of his mind on the way to the hospital.

"It´s not a State Alchemist's position," Ed quickly explained, noticing the Colonel's murderous scowl. "Actually, it´s more like a freelance consulting contract ..."

Hiring consultants was something the military did in many areas of expertise, though it wasn't often that they hired alchemists. They had their own private stable after all.

"Huh," Roy said. He could start by scorching the man's hair. Roy would see to it that the man was bald for the rest of his very short life.

"... but Hughes seemed to have something a little different in mind. He dropped some hints ..."

"He did, did he?" After the hair, should he burn off just the first layer of skin, or the first two layers? Decisions, decisions.

"... but he said he had to discuss it with you." Edward finished.

Roy stopped peeling the burned pancake off the pan. When he got finished with Maes, he'd make this pancake look like it got off easy.

Al stared at the pancake, then at the Colonel's expression with big eyes. Then he carefully moved his chair to the other side of the table. With the wooden surface between himself and the Colonel, he seemed to relax. Then he turned to his brother.

"Freelance consulting doesn't sound like a very stable position, brother," Al started slowly. "I think you should look for something more permanent. Something you can settle into for the long term. Someplace where you can make a home. Aren't you tired of changing your apartment every few months? I don´t care where you decide to settle down, or what you decide to do, but …"

Roy stared at the burned batter as if the pan was responsible for his misery. Then he placed the skillet on the counter and took a step back. One quick snap and the pancake disaster on the pan was reduced to very fine ash, much easier to get off the iron surface. The Colonel turned to the trash and let the once-pancake trickled like sand into the bin.

There, now he felt better.

"… but…uhm… but staying in Central has its advantages too." For some reason, the younger Elric's voice sounded a tad higher than usual as he stared at the ashes in the bin. "You have friends here, and it´s easier to reach from Resembool."

"Al, Cameron is in the East, not too far from Resembool. We've been there. Do you remember that isolated, kind of silent village? Nature bound, with lots of rare plant species and stuff?" His brother informed him, and the Colonel could feel his inner alarm starting to scream at Ed's strange tone. Could it be?

"Uhm… right." Then the younger Elric's eyes narrowed. He glanced towards his brother before his eyes shifted towards Roy, and then back again to Ed.

Yes, it could be. Hidden Elric communication. Roy was missing something here. Damn it.

After a few seconds, Al spoke again.

"I think if you want something permanent, you might have better chances in Central, brother. Cameron is just not... well, you already know what I think about that." Al shrugged.

Roy had to put some serious effort into not glaring at the youngster. Talk about obviously hidden meanings. There clearly had been a change of topic here. Al had been just as surprised by the news of Ed's job offers as Roy had been, yet he claimed Ed knew his opinion. So that opinion was in regards to something else. But whatever that 'something else' was, it seemed Alphonse preferred his brother in Central, so in the long run, Roy would benefit from it.

"Besides, Cameron has no rail service. There's a better connection to Resembool from Central than from Cameron." Roy quickly argued as he washed the pan before putting it back on the stove. He certainly had no idea what was going on under surface here, but it wouldn´t hurt for Roy to throw in his two cents. And to remind Ed and Al that he was in fact present.

Ed's golden eyes followed him as he went about his business, silent as if to save the rest of the pancakes from the fate that had befallen the first one. Roy could feel the man watching him as he fetched the syrup and placed it on the table together with the plate stacked high with pancakes. After being silent for so long, Roy had not expected Ed to return to the topic, but the moment the older man sat down to eat with the brothers, Ed spoke again, almost to himself.

"Yeah, permanent sounds good," the young man said softly in a contemplative tone.

* * *

They dropped Al and his suitcase off at Edward's apartment. The younger Elric was exhausted, and wanted to unpack, have a quick shower, and then take a nap. The older brother would probably have enjoyed a nap as well, though he would never have admitted it. He had more important things to do however. Important, older-brother-looking-out-for-the-wellbeing-of-younger-brother type of things.

And Mustang now had a new excuse to use when he wanted to get away from the office, which he would file away for future reference.

Grocery shopping. There was only about fifteen minutes until Roy was officially due back from his lunch break, but there was no way he would make it in time. In fact, he was going to be late as it was, but if he took Edward to the market now, he wouldn't be back for the rest of the day, and there was no way he would live through Riza's retribution if he dared to ditch work for the afternoon.

Roy would have expected someone who liked to eat as much as Edward did to keep rather a lot of food on hand, but as he had discovered from previous visits, the younger man had a surprisingly empty larder. The lack of dairy products had been no surprise, but there had only been three eggs, and Roy had used them up making pancakes a few days ago. He had also depleted Ed's supply of flour, pancake syrup, blueberry jam, and wild-cherry jam. Roy had noticed a half loaf of bread the evening before, but knew that wouldn't last both Elrics through dinner. And there was nothing to use with it – no butter, cheese, ham, or tomatoes.

And this was only the tip of the iceberg. If Edward wanted to keep himself and his brother fed for the next few days, he had to make a major shopping excursion. This was definitely too big a job for Roy to take on during his remaining lunch break. And it would be wasted time. There were better things to do than grocery shopping when Ed was in his company.

For example, dragging the younger man into his office to test out a theory and set a few things straight.

It was strange for Roy to find the office empty, but not unexpected. His staff's lunch break matched his own, and that gave him the perfect opportunity to drag Ed in without being confronted by anyone as to his motives.

Edward had been the one to insist on going back to military headquarters, but that had been fine with Roy. It appeared that Edward felt a bit guilty about walking out on Hughes earlier, and once Roy's break was over Ed would probably go looking for Maes to complete whatever business Roy had interrupted.

But damn, Edward feeling guilty about running out on Hughes, however agreeable the Investigations officer had been about it, was not a good thing. It pretty much gave Hughes an advantage, being able to exploit Ed's guilty conscience, and he would be sure to use it against Roy if at all possible. If it wasn't obvious already, this suspicious job offer was far too convenient for Roy's opponents to be a coincidence. He would have to keep his guard up.

For the moment however, Roy had every intention of keeping Edward in his office. The Colonel had questions, and a daring plan to get the answers. One might say he was about to play with fire again.

Roy's plan of action was simple, but he had carefully weighed his options, calculated the risks, and considered all opposing variables.

On Roy's side: His lack of inhibitions. It gave him a huge advantage, particularly when it came to Ed's automail. Roy had never felt reluctant to touch someone with automail, though there were some people who were put off by it. Which really was a shame. Two of Roy's former lovers had had automail prostheses, and the Colonel had discovered that caressing the skin close to the port brought out the most delicious reactions. Roy planned to use this knowledge to chip away at Edward's defenses. Another plus on Roy's side was that Ed was a man, and therefore it wouldn't be too terribly difficult to get him in the mood.

On Ed's side: The general. Damn traitor. And the bet, the reason for Roy's constant denial and constant craving for sex. He was getting aroused from the _smallest_ things, includingEd. So Roy had to be on his guard, or he risked going too far and consequently losing the bet. Thus, he was limited in how to proceed and the places he was allowed to touch and kiss, and in the places he could allow Edward to touch and kiss.

The odds were definitely in Ed's favor, but the challenge just made it more fun. Roy ushered Edward into this inner office, closing and locking the door behind them.

Turning around, the Colonel saw his pray standing by the window apprising his surroundings, and realized that this was the first time the younger man had been in Roy's new office. It also explained why the young man had not stomped in earlier that day to demand breakfast and Al's luggage.

Edward turned to gaze out the window. Roy's eyes dropped to gaze at more interesting scenery.

"What brought back the leather?" he asked, his eyes glued to a certain part of Ed's anatomy.

"Huh?" Ed turned his head and then smirked. Mustang didn´t even pretend he was not looking at the young man's ass. Edward didn´t seem to mind however and turned back to the window. "Hughes already has an assignment for me, and suggested we go over the crime scene so I can get a bit of insight for the job. The site has a rough approach, so he told me to wear something heavy-duty but comfortable."

Roy had to hand it to Maes. That was a pretty good excuse. Investigation teams often did their hardest work just trying to reach their precious evidence. Photographers for example seemed to prefer rather inaccessible places. They had the double challenge of needing a clear view of the subject while staying out of sight. Suspects were also driven to make evidence of their crimes as inaccessible as possible, finding places to hide their deeds that were most difficult to reach. Still, Roy had serious doubts that Maes might be taking Ed to one of the more… uncomfortable scenes to show him around. And anyone who knew of the young man's preference for leather would have known what he would chose when instructed to wear something 'heavy-duty but comfortable'.

Hughes was taking a big chance, taking non-military personnel not yet under contract to a crime scene. Then again, his superiors would likely make an exception for Edward. The former Fullmetal Alchemist had a reputation for getting the job done, and a chance to get that kind of talent under a civilian contract would make the Brass eager to allow concessions.

Roy marveled at the lengths Maes would go to ensure Roy of a good view.

But obviously, there was more to this sudden campaign to hire Edward than this stupid bet. Roy still had to talk to his friend to find out what was going on.

"This really reminds me of old times." Ed´s voice broke his thoughts. The young man turned around, heading towards Roy's desk. His gold ponytail slipped over his shoulder when Ed stood, hands on hips, head cocked to one side, taking a closer look at the stacks of paperwork. "Shit, you really are a lazy bastard," Ed observed with a smirk.

Roy just grunted and sent a glare towards the mountains of paper, then watched as the young alchemist took one of the stacks and placed it on the floor beside the desk. Another soon followed. Mustang moved to sit in his chair, curious to discover what Ed had planned, content to place his own plan on hold to see where this would lead. When all the papers had found their way to the floor, neatly stacked beside the Colonel's desk, the younger man placed his hands on the wooden surface, leaning across it.

"I´ve never seen it this empty," the younger alchemist stated in a teasing tone.

Roy snorted at the jab. "I have," he commented, and Ed raised an eyebrow, skeptical. "I´ve placed the stacks on the floor myself when they were too high to reach the top," he admitted, not willing to ruin the mood by starting a fight.

It was worth it when the blond blinked surprised. Obviously the young man had not expected Roy to let his jab slide. Then the younger alchemist grinned, a mischievous glint in the golden eyes.

"Hm." Ed hummed, the sound almost a purr. The alchemist straightened himself and made his way around the desk, one gloved hand still caressing the polished surface and Roy let his gaze be drawn in by the reflection of light on the leather that covering Ed's hips. The movement was smooth and fluid and reminded Roy of the way a lover would move on top of him, straddling him, riding him. Oh fuck. The young man just needed to move and Roy was getting ideas. So much for being careful around Ed. Well, with what he was about to do, careful was actually the last thing on today's agenda.

Edward stopped in front of him, his back leaning against the edge of the desk. Roy's gaze went up, over the belt wrapped around slender hips and further, noted how the cloth of Ed's sweater tightened and eased around the toned body when Edward moved. Then the blond man placed his hands on the table behind him and pulled himself up to sit on the surface.

"This really is a sturdy desk." Ed's purr pulled dark eyes up to the impish smile on Ed lips. It was a silent invitation, asking if Roy wanted to have some fun as well.

Roy leaned back, watched the young man. Watched the leather covered thighs brush against each other as the man slipped of his boots. The simple movement shouldn´t be so sensual, but it was. Roy remembered too well how it felt to have these strong legs pressing against his hips.

Once the boots were off, the young man leaned back, his legs shifting slightly apart, offering just enough space for Roy to step in between them if he wanted to, and fuck, yes. He wanted to.

Roy pushed himself up from the chair and stepped close.

"Wonder how much weight this thing can hold," Ed muttered roughly when Roy leaned in closer. The Colonel placed his hands on the desk, on both sides of Ed's hips.

"Hm, I have a few ideas how to test it," he breathed against Ed's lips.

Then he kissed the man. Roy expected to have to battle for the upper hand, but this time Edward seemed to be content to let him do as he pleased. Which was perfect for what the Colonel had in mind.

So he didn´t deepen the kiss, did not claim the man's mouth with his tongue, as much as he would have liked to. Instead, he just enjoyed the movement of soft lips against his own before breaking gently away. Roy's hands left the desk to remove his gloves while his lips travelled lower to caress the tender throat partially hidden by the turtleneck. Roy's hands reached for the band holding rich gold at bay, slipping it off in one quick movement. Then he buried his fingers in the long strands and pulled, forcing Ed to tilt his head back, offering his neck for the second time. There was a small gasp at the sudden use of force, but the young man did not protest. Instead, Ed's arms wrapped around Roy's shoulders as he leaned back, to support this unbalanced position. Golden strands brushed over the polished surface of the desk.

Ed gasped again when Roy started to suck, kissing and biting the tender skin. He worked to leave a number of clearly visible love bites and hickeys, only stopping when he was satisfied that he had done a thorough job. Pulling back to admire his work, a smug grin formed on Roy's lips.

Now whoever dared to stare at Ed would think twice about hitting on him. Thanks to the turtleneck, Roy had been able to place his marks strategically. No collar was high enough to hide them, and even a scarf would do little to cover them all.

Roy felt smugly satisfied with this result, but leaned to bite the already sensitive skin again just because he liked the quiet sounds Ed was making. The breathless moan he got in return shot a wave of arousal directly to the general. Roy could feel his member getting into it. And even though he promised himself to be careful around Ed, he was not done yet. He had to make sure the younger man got even more into it than Roy could allow himself.

Letting go of the gold strands, the dark-haired man wrapped his arms around the blond's waist and pulled him up close against his own body. Ed's legs shifted further apart, allowing Roy to rock his hip against the younger man's groin.

Oh yes, this definitely felt promising. The other alchemist was at least as aroused as he himself was. Edward bit back a moan, and Roy muffled his own against the cotton covering the lower part of the younger man's neck as he slowly rocked against the hard bulge. He let go of Ed's waist and griped the hem of the black turtleneck, pulling it up. The piece of clothing landed… somewhere, Roy didn´t pay attention to where. The moment it was off, Roy closed in on those lips again, but did not kiss the man. Instead he locked eyes with golden orbs, mesmerized by the lust and desire he saw reflected in them. Hot breath on his lips, panting. Just as heavy as his own breathing, but Roy could not take his eyes off the hungry gaze. Ed seemed to have a very good idea of what he wanted.

Blindly, Roy reached for the man's belt. He didn´t know when Ed's gloves had come off, but the younger man was now trying his best to open the buttons of Roy's jacket. Military clothes seemed to have been designed to be annoyingly hard to remove quickly, and clearly Ed was getting frustrated when he had to take his eyes away from Roy's to see what his hands were doing. The Colonel couldn´t help the slight smile when Ed's movements became more desperate – and less successful.

The Colonel was much quicker at relieving Edward of his belt. The soft, hissing sound of leather against leather as the belt slipped out of one loop after another was almost lost in the sound of heavy breathing.

"Fuck this," Ed cursed quietly, but before he could clap and probably destroy the offending piece of clothing, Roy quickly gripped his wrists.

"I need that jacket," he informed the man, smirking at the frustrated growl it earned him.

"No, you don´t." Ed's gaze traveled downwards and stopped at the clearly visible bulge at the front of Roy's trousers, so very close to his own. "You´re overdressed, Mustang." The younger man stated huskily.

Actually, Ed had a point. It _was_ rather warm in there. It took Roy three seconds to get rid of the jacket, and his gloves as well. Immediately Ed's hands started on the buttons of the older man's shirt, but once again the Colonel gripped his wrists, forcing them away from his clothes. He needed to stay in control of this, to ensure the younger man got it worse than he did, or else Roy was fucked, and not by Ed. By the bet conditions.

This time, the action earned Roy an angry hiss that was quickly cut off when Roy leaned forward, pinning both the metal and the flesh wrists against the desk, and Ed on his back. The younger man tried to free his flesh hand, but stopped his resistance when Roy's lips returned to his neck, now claiming the area previously covered by the high collar.

Which had also been covering that damnable chain with the disturbing ring attached. Oh, Roy despised that thing with a passion. He pushed it deliberately aside to place one hell of a lovebite underneath. If Edward insisted on wearing it, Roy wanted it to rest against a hickey _he_ had placed there. Just to remind Ed that there were better things to hold on to than rings given by former lovers.

Once satisfied, Roy's lips slowly made their way closer to the automail shoulder. The Colonel could tell he was getting closer to the metal, and to the more sensitive skin, by the way Ed shivered beneath him. When he reached the curve where neck met shoulder a few inches from the port, it was thrilling how Ed's body arched up. The younger alchemist apparently had given up trying to speed things up, perhaps deciding that it would simply be better to let Roy do what he wanted. In any case, when the Colonel released his wrists, all the younger man did was wrap his arms around the man leaning over him. The dark haired man was glad Ed couldn´t see the triumphal smirk on his lips. If he had, Edward might have thought twice about letting Roy do as he pleased.

Now Roy had the perfect opportunity to tip the scales a bit. His hands wandered down over a flat stomach, feeling well defined muscles tremble under his touch. He reached for the button of Ed's pants as Ed pulled the military shirt up and loose from the waistband of Roy's trousers and slipped mismatched finger underneath the cotton to play lightly along his ribs. Roy's hands moved to Ed's sides to push pliant leather down over trim hips.

Or at least – he tried. Irritated, Roy stopped and looked down at the offending article of clothing. How the hell did the man put these pants on? A paint brush? Did he lube his ass?

"What?" Ed asked a bit breathless and Roy looked up to meet golden eyes before he looked down to where his hands were still trying in vain to relieve Edward of his pants.

Admittedly, the leather was strained even more thanks to the bulge in front, but the word 'tight' was an understatement. He wondered how Ed even managed to sit down in these, or think of them as comfortable.

"I know this sounds strange considered the current situation, but I´d really like to see you get these on some day," Roy finally admitted his thoughts. Ed stared at him as if he'd lost his mind.

"You´re thinking about that _now_?" Ed asked incredulous, eyes flashing his outrage.

Chuckling, the Colonel leaned in to kiss the irritated blond, but didn´t get much of a reaction. The blond appeared to be trying to figure him out.

"Get your head back into the game, Mustang," he huffed. "Right now I´d like to see you get them _off _me."

"I'll see what I can do," Roy said with a slight grimace.

Ed snorted and muttered something about idiots, but Roy could feel the man's legs moving, his feet feeling around for something he could use as support, which he found, because his body arched up, against Roy's. And held that position as he waited for Roy to get his pants off.

Fuck. He forgot to add the younger man's flexibility as point in Ed's favor when he's made this plan. This was just… Roy swallowed hard and hurried up.

He quickly went about peeling leather away from tanned skin until it was hindered by Roy's own body and the spread legs beneath him. Roy didn´t dare to look down, afraid he might not be able to stop himself if he did. He had never before been tempted to touch an aroused man, at least not while sober. But this was different, _Roy_ was different, and he knew he wouldn´t be able to hold back if he looked down and saw the man's erection, knowing he was responsible for it.

He knew when Ed's hardness was freed from its leather cage when the man bit back a moan. Roy quickly leaned down to distract himself from all the things he wanted to do, all the things he himself enjoyed, all the thing he wanted to see Ed's reaction to. He had to stick to his plan. Roy aimed once again for the slight curve between neck and shoulder and bit down, using his own weight to push the other man flat to the table. Ed's breath stopped for a moment and the fingers on Roy's back pressed against his skin, while his legs shifted a bit. The stretched leather so close to his groin had to be uncomfortable, but Edward didn't complain when the Colonel started to rock his hips forward. Roy continued to suck hard on the skin beneath his lips as a wave of pleasure hit him. The general was still caged, still hidden beneath layers of clothing, but damn, it still felt good. For Roy the friction was muted by both his trousers and underwear, but Ed got it full force. The young man threw his head back, and the nails of Ed's left hand bit into Roy's skin.

"Hn."

The suppressed sound was followed by heavy panting, and the legs against Roy's thighs once again shifted as hips tried to thrust up, but the Colonel didn´t allow Ed enough space to move. For a moment he wondered why the younger man was trying so hard to not let any loud sounds slip, but then he remembered where they were. Another two unconsidered points in Roy's favor, because for one, Ed would have to concentrate on being silent and thus have fewer resources left to fight him, and two, it was a hell of a lot easier for Roy to control of himself when he did not have to listen to those delicious moans.

Roy's lips let go of the abused skin as he started once again to slowly rock against the man underneath him, doing his best to let the rough cotton of his trousers brush against the cock he could feel twitching in response. Ed's hands wandered lower to grope his ass again, but this time the blond did it to urge Roy on, to prompt him to move faster and to put more force into his movements. Roy ignored him. There was no way he could handle any more than this and still be able to break it off before it was too late. As it was, he still had to stop a few times to get a grip on himself when the painful hardness trapped in his pants became too much to bear and the urge to just fuck the man became almost overwhelming.

Ed offered an almost soundless whimper when Roy paused once more, but the Colonel knew he couldn´t give the man a break, despite the fact that he himself desperately needed one. So he let one hand wander over scared skin, closer to the automail port. Roy never had anyone in his bed who'd had a complete limb replacement – and who had an already very sensitive body part so close to the automail port.

"Mmph!"

Damn, but Edward had extremely good reflexes. The moment Roy felt the nipple beneath his fingers, Ed's metallic hand clamped over his own mouth to dampen the scream. The young man's body arched up once again, seeking more, harder, _now_ - in vain. There was a metallic snap and something hit the floor as Ed's left leg lost its support. The handle of one of the drawers probably needed to be replaced. Like Roy gave a fuck.

Damn the bet for not allowing him to use his teeth or tongue. He'd love to pin Ed's wrists to the desk and hear him cry out as he licked and bit the now hardened flesh. Oh god, he wanted to hear him. Fuck it, he wanted to see how much the man could take. Roy himself was hard as rock and god, he needed it. He needed it badly – but Ed definitely had it worse, and Roy didn´t give a shit anymore, so he just went for it. He forced the automail hand away from Ed's mouth and pinned it to the wooden surface. The resistance against this melted away when the Colonel's hips rocked back against the younger man's naked erection, no longer soft and slow, but forcefully and hard and faster with each thrust. The body beneath him shivered and the legs shifted, but there was little Ed could do other than bite his lower lip in an attempt to muffle the moans and try to move against the cotton clad hardness rubbing against his sensitive arousal.

Roy closed his eyes, lost in the sensation and the quiet, needy sounds Ed tried to suppress. God, it felt so fucking good to move like this. To give the general the much needed friction, even trapped behind layers of cloth. He could feel himself getting closer and licked the sweat salted skin below his lips when he felt the body beneath him start to shiver and writhe.

"Roy…" The soft spoken whisper against his ear, hoarse and filled with lust almost ruined his fun and his underwear, but when Ed quietly demanded he move faster, it was a much needed reminder about exactly why Roy was taking this risk.

The older man had no idea just where he had buried that tiny bit of self restraint he needed to stop himself from dry humping them both into orgasm, but it didn´t matter. It was there, and he stopped, and the frustrated sound that slipped through Ed's lips was delicious. Oh yes, Roy still wanted to fuck him.

But he had a bet to win and a lesson to teach.

"Fucking Basta-ah."

Ed bit back the silent curse and the moan it would have turned into when Roy thrust his hips forward. The hand pressed to Roy's back tried to sneak between their bodies, either so Ed could finish himself off or to coax the Colonel into continuing, but the Flame Alchemist quickly reached for that wrist and pressed it against polished wood beside its metal opposite. Ed cursed him and tried to wring out of the grip, but Roy moved his hard bulge against Ed's painfully hard dick and the resistance melted away. Oh yes, Edward was definitely close to orgasm.

And Roy felt like a proper bastard for maneuvering the man into a situation similar to the one he had been in the previous evening, but he felt like a _smug_ bastard, because that was the whole point of this exercise. He looked down into Ed's flushed and sweaty face. Lust and desire were still visible, but so were frustration and anger at being denied so close to orgasm. Roy couldn´t resist kissing the swollen lips and Ed returned the kiss, but bit into Roy's lower lip much harder than necessary. The sharp wave of pain went straight to the general, flaring up the arousal and desire, and Roy almost started to move again before he reminded himself to stop.

"Want me to fuck you?" Roy whispered hoarsely against the younger man's lips.

Ed's face was already flushed, but the color deepened, and Roy could feel the hardness pressing against him twitch in response. Ed bit his lips and stared up at him, clearly trying to decide whether to kiss or kill him. Roy felt a smug grin spread on his lips and leaned down to suck on the skin just beneath Ed's ear before he continued to whisper into it.

"Want to come?" he asked.

Just for emphasis, Roy rolled his hips again, slowly, letting Ed feel every damn inch of rough cotton rub against his hardness. It earned him a breathless pant. Edward shrugged against his hold again, but the man was far too lost in pleasure to make a concerted effort to get free. Roy's agonizingly slow movements brought the blond to the brink of orgasm without being enough to tip him over.

Roy was still hard, but now he felt an entirely different kind of rush, brought on by the knowledge that the other man was at his mercy and god, he wished he could drag this out, reduce Ed to a needy mess and then take him right here. But he couldn´t do that. Right now Roy had other plans. Once again he stopped rocking against Ed, and this time it earned him a quiet whine.

"Roy." Needy and pleading.

The boost to Roy's ego almost caused him to lose it, but he clamped down hard on his control and held off.

"That´s not an answer," the Colonel murmured into his captive's ear.

It gave him a good bit of sadistic glee when Ed stifled a frustrated sob. It took him a few moments, but finally Ed nodded. Not enough. Roy rocked forward again, slowly. Roy's point made clear, the young man beneath him moaned softly and answered.

"You fucki- Yes." Ed interrupted himself when the man leaning over him nipped on his bruised neck. Roy could see the effort it took Ed to admit it, but he better get used to it, because Roy planned to get another admission out of him.

"Too bad we can´t do that." And Roy really meant it. If there was one thing he wanted to do right now it was fuck the man, watch that beautiful face when the Ed lost himself.

The glare he received was full of anger and desire, and Roy knew if they could fuck right now, it would be angry sex, full of passion, and violence, and it would be mind blowing. Roy's control wavered again and the desire washed over him full force. He couldn´t resist it, so he leaned down and kissed the man, claimed his mouth, keeping the blond at bay by rubbing his own aching hardness against the man beneath him. Ed moaned again, the sound muffled against Roy's lips as the Colonel once again brought both of them closer to relief. He broke the kiss, panting and watching golden eyes losing their focus. Then they closed. The body beneath him started to tremble, and Roy knew the younger man was as close to the edge as he could be, on the very brink of release.

And Roy stopped all movement.

This time, Edward did cry out. The sound was far beyond frustrated, but Roy only stared down at him.

"Look at me," he demanded.

"Fuck you!" Amazingly, Ed was still able to precisely form the two words, but Edward Elric would probably always be able to get these two particular words out no matter the situation. At least, this time they were fitting. And yes, Roy wanted to do that. But couldn't.

"Look at me," Roy repeated, using his own weight to press the wriggling body down.

Without being able to move, Ed let out a needy sob and stilled before he finally looked into Roy's face.

"Like it?" Roy asked, and Ed cursed violently. "Should I leave you like this until you calm down? Like you did to me last night in your kitchen?"

Roy's suggestion effectively stopped the blond's colorful outburst. Looking into eyes that were full of so many emotions that Roy couldn´t even begin to try and read them, the Colonel spoke quietly but firmly, his voice was full of dark promise.

"If you ever dare to leave me in a state like that again, because you're afraid of what Al or anybody else might think …" Roy noted the realization dawning on Ed's face. "The moment I get you alone, I will fuck you." He rocked hard against the unquestionably painful hardness Ed was sporting, and the younger man bit his lips to suppress any sounds. "Hard…" Roy moved again, to give Ed a taste of what awaited him. "… and fast." Thrusting again. The movement forceful and demanding. Ed moaned, no longer able to muffle the sound. Roy stopped and waited until Ed was able to look at him again. "And when I´m done with you, Al and everybody else will know exactly what we did just by watching you walk, or sit down. _If_ you can manage to sit down."

Roy looked into a face full of lust, and he could see Edward was shocked. Not at Roy's behavior, but by the fact that this obviously turned him on. Roy knew it did, he had felt the hardness pressed against him twitch in anticipation with ever word he'd said. "Is that clear?" he asked, practically purring the words against Ed's lips in smug satisfaction.

After a few moments, Ed slowly nodded. "Yes," he said, and the fact that a verbal agreement didn't have to be forced told Roy that Ed got it.

Satisfied with the result, the Colonel straightened himself, though he didn´t let go of Ed's wrists. He still wasn't sure if Ed might hit him if he did. Instead, he pulled the blonde into a sitting positing, forcing the arms behind his back where the angle would give Ed a disadvantage. The blond snarled at him and tried to wriggle free, but Roy only pulled him closer until the blond was sitting on the edge of the desk.

"Let go." Ed demanded.

"I would. But I know how much of a brat you can be whenever someone is teaching you a lesson, so-"

"I hate you." Edward interrupted with a voice full of loathing and Roy instantly smirked.

"No, my love, you don't." He purred against the kiss swollen lips, feeling downright egotistic over his successful teaching techniques. Then he quickly tilted his head back when the young man attempted to bite him.

"As I was saying. You can be quite the brat when someone is teaching you a lesson, so I want to make sure you will behave yourself before I let you go."

Ed looked ready to murder him. Then he took a deep breath. "Fine."

"Fine what?"

"Fine, I won´t hit you."

"Or bite me."

"… yes." It appeared that Ed had considered it.

"No throwing things." Roy remembered the mug.

"Yeah, now let go." Ed started to sound even more pissed.

"And no alchemy."

"I said let go, Bastard. I won´t hurt you, but if you say one more word, I'll think it might be worth breaking a promise just to break your face."

Roy chuckled and released Ed's arms. Just to be safe, he quickly moved a few steps back, keeping a careful eye on the blond. And damn, Ed really was gorgeous when he was angry. Even more so when he was angry and aroused. Roy noted that he was not exactly large, but he wasn´t small either. The proportions fit with the rest of the body very nicely.

Trying to calm himself, the Colonel ignored his own demanding body.

"You should know that I won´t fuck you in front of your brother, Ed," Roy told him, "and as for Al, he already knows there is more between us than innocent kisses. He doesn´t care that you´re into guys, and he is sure as hell enough of an adult to deal with this."

The young man carefully moved down from the desk, hissing silently as he straightened up. Ed looked down and bit his lips before he looked to Roy, blushing furiously and darkening the flush still covering his cheeks. The Colonel's gaze went down and he made a show of leering, successfully deepening Ed's blush.

"Sadly, I have an appointment after lunch, which is over in-" Roy took a deep breath and looked over at the clock. "-which is over already, actually." Then he glanced at the blond. No chance Ed was going to fit that into his trousers again, not in this state, and especially not into _those_ pants. "I have to go, but feel free to stay a bit longer." Then he stepped in close and tilted Ed's chin up. The man had lost his anger and now seemed to be embarrassed. "There are some tissues in the second drawer," Roy informed him. Golden eyes widened while the blond invented a completely new color of red. "Think of me, will you?"

He quickly pressed a quick goodbye kiss to the blond man's lips before making a bee-line for the door, Ed's stunned glaze following him. Roy unlocked the door and turned around one more time.

"I´ll let the staff know to not enter," he informed Ed before slipping out of the room, and heard Ed's quiet curse when he realized that lunch break's end also meant that the outer office was occupied again.

* * *

Riza Hawkeye was not surprised to discover that when she and her teammates returned from their lunch break, the door into her superior's inner office was still locked.

"Chief's not back yet, huh?" Havoc asked as he placed his half filled coffee cup on his desk and sat down.

Riza snorted and went to her own desk to pick up the phone. She dialed a number and sent a loathing glare towards Mustang's door while waiting for the other person to pick up. Havoc was watching intently, obviously wondering who she was calling. His curiosity was soon satisfied.

"Lieutenant Ross. Yes, it´s Hawkeye." Riza looked down at her desk and gripped a pen while she looked over some of the forms in front of her. "Yes, please do. I know he has an appointment with doctor Streng after his break." Whatever Maria had to say, Hawkeye's lips curved up slightly in response. "Yes. And I believe he will probably visit Lieutenant Colonel Hughes once his medical checkup is completed." Hawkeye listened for a moment, and then smiled maliciously, causing every male in the office to wince as unobtrusively as possible. "You can bring it over about one hour before his shift ends."

Hawkeye placed the receiver.

"Paperwork?" Breda guessed, and Riza smiled coldly before nodding.

"Two stacks."

Damn, if Hawkeye considered them 'stacks', it had to be bad.

"Is that really necessary?" Fuery dared to asked, his sympathies clearly on his superiors side, the loyal fool.

"Yes." Hawkeye nodded before quickly reorganizing the files on her desk. "I´ve got some training sessions booked at the shooting range this afternoon, so I have arranged for Lieutenant Ross to deliver the paperwork. It's-" She stopped at the sound of a door being unlocked.

Everyone froze. All eyes shot to the door to Colonel Mustang's office.

"No way! He was here during his break? He's never -" Havoc started, then stopped as his commanding officer stepped into full view.

Havoc's jaw dropped. Then his face flushed a deep red. Beside him, Falman let out a suspicious cough, the only indication that he might have noticed his commander's untucked shirt and the sizable tent in his pants. The Flame Alchemist's kiss-swollen lips were also hard to overlook. In fact, Roy Mustang looked very much like a teenager after a heavy make out session.

"Holy sh-" Breda started and interrupted himself, his eyes wandering to the door Roy had closed behind himself.

"Sir, maybe you should have waited until you are more presentable before leaving your office." Riza advised, as unimpressed as if this was an everyday occurrence.

Mustang cleared his throat.

Breda's eyebrow went up. "Is Ed in there?" he asked, eager for an answer. The rest of the staff looked the door as if they could make it disappear if they stared hard enough.

"Don´t go in there." The Colonel ordered in his best 'I'm your superior and you better obey me' voice.

"Yes Sir," Havoc said, and Breda grinned.

"Sir, Lieutenant Ross will deliver some paperwork for you later," Riza said, all business. "I´ll be at the shooting range." She sent him a glare that clearly outlined her thoughts on his leaving for lunch early, with mountains of paperwork left undone. "For practice." Narrowed eyes suggested that she would be getting more practice later if he didn´t finish that paperwork.

Mustang groaned and started to tuck in his shirt. It was messy, but it would do till he reached a bathroom.

"Please give Doctor Streng a call and tell him I´ll be a few minutes late." he asked her, and both Havoc and Breda tried not to snicker. The doctor would certainly be delighted to see him in such a state. Hawkeye only nodded and reached for her phone.

Mustang nodded and strode out of the office, ever the superior military officer despite the still noticeable bulge. Thankfully, the men's restroom was not far away.

The moment the Flame was out of the office, the snickering began again as the men eyed the door to the Colonel's inner office. Unable to contain his curiosity, Havoc finally stood up, marched over and reached for the doorknob as the others held their collective breath.

The distinctive sound of a gun's safety being unlocked broke the weighted silence.

Havoc froze on the spot.

"I just -" he started, but Hawkeye interrupted him.

"I believe you were given an order, First Lieutenant," she stated crisply.

Cursing silently, Havoc returned to his desk. He received a sympathetic smile from Breda, who was just as curious as he was. The office remained silent, all eyes on Mustang's door, waiting for whoever was in there to make an appearance.

They didn´t have long to wait. The door opened again not five minutes later, revealing a rather uncomfortable looking Edward Elric. He did not have the same problem their superior had sported, but nevertheless, he looked almost worse for the wear than Mustang had.

Havoc's eyebrow went up as he examined the blond.

Ed's hair hung loose around his shoulders, and despite obvious efforts to straighten it, was still disarranged. The young man's belt was fastened loosely and had missed running through one loop of his pants. He wasn't wearing his gloves either, though Havoc could see the white fabric peaking out of a trouser pocket.

If Edward were as relaxed as Roy had been, it wouldn´t have been so bad. But the moment he spotted them, the blond's face became a rather impressive shade of red and his automail hand nervously rubbed his neck.

There was no way, they were _not_ going to tease him about this. And everyone, including Ed, knew it.

The only thing Havoc still wondered about was just what exactly had happened – and if it was enough to proclaim Roy Mustang the loser of the bet. Before he could even begin to think about how to get this out of Ed, Riza Hawkeye cleared her throat. Edward's golden eyes shifted to her, away from the leer he was receiving from Breda and the knowing look in Havoc's eyes. At least Fuery had the decency to keep his eyes on his paperwork, beet red himself.

"Hello, Edward." Riza smiled warmly, and Havoc instantly knew he wouldn´t have to worry about finding out if they won the bet – Hawkeye was taking care of it.

"Uhm.. hey." The blond returned, rather hoarsely.

Her eyes looked him up and down, slowly appraising his appearance, and the alchemist shifted, uncomfortably self aware. It probably would have been funny, because Havoc had never seen Ed acting like this, but he'd be damned if he laughed at the younger man. The Second Lieutenant had been put on the spot too many times to want to inflict that kind of punishment on Ed, and he hoped he could keep himself under control. He was still dying to know about the bet's status however, and the ball was still in Riza's court. When Ed swallowed hard, Hawkeye's eyes narrowed.

"Should I send in the cleaning staff, Edward?" she asked, no mocking trace of humor in her voice whatsoever.

He couldn't help himself. Havoc burst out laughing. Breda chuckled as well, and Fuery winced. Falman blinked, probably trying to recall which form would be required to requisition the services of someone with disinfectant cleaning supplies.

Edward flinched and blushed even more.

"Uhm… no?" He let go of his neck and started to comb his fingers through his hair.

"Where is your hair tie?" Breda asked with a knowing grin, then flinched at the glares he received from both golden and brown eyes. While Ed clearly was not happy to be asked this, Riza obviously didn´t like to be interrupted while she was attempting to find out what happened.

"Lost it." The alchemist grimaced, then looked to Riza. "Do you have a spare?" he asked hopefully.

The blond First Lieutenant nodded and fished a tie out of her desk to hand to the alchemist, and Havoc made two mistakes.

One, he started to drink his coffee as Ed took the tie.

Two, he watched while the man gathered the blond strands into a ponytail.

Coffee snorted from his nose across the paperwork on his desk. Breda let out a high whistle and Fuery squealed. Even Falman stared, his face gaining some suspicious color. Riza blinked. Being on the left side of the alchemist, she did not see what had provoked such reactions. Ed froze, puzzled.

"Damn, Boss. Did the chief attack you or something?" Jean asked as he blotted coffee from his chin. He reached for the collar of Ed's turtleneck to get a better look, but the younger man batted his hand away and turned to Riza. The woman stared.

"Hawkeye, do you have a mirror?" Edward asked, remarkably calm.

Riza had leaned to the left to get a better look at Ed's abused neck, and Havoc had to admit … it was impressive. He wondered how many minutes his superior had needed to make such a mess of Ed's skin.

"First Lieutenant?" Ed repeated, bringing the woman back to reality from her examination of his throat. Trying to fight the blush, she quickly pulled the top drawer open and held up a little mirror.

Ed took a full minute to observe the damage. He carefully touched his neck and winced. The rest of the office winced as well when Edward carefully pulled the collar a bit lower. And they did so again when they heard his voice.

"I´m going to kill that fucking _Bastard_."

* * *

Unaware of the rage he had awoken, the fucking Bastard - with the capital B - listened to Doctor Streng's lecture about punctuality. He had indeed arrived rather late for his medical checkup, but thankfully without a boner, which was quite an accomplishment. Even more so, since he felt absolutely smug about having reached his goal without the general having done the same.

And listening to the doctor was a good thing. As a doctor in both mental and physical matters, Streng was pure business. The man was almost as work-obsessed as Falman and Hawkeye _combined,_ and that was saying something. He was strict, regimental, and not to be triffled with, but he could also be trusted never do anything not necessary for medical purposes.

So, no nurses with short skirts. No pretty secretary. Streng had chosen his staff based on efficiency. Which also resulted in the fact that he worked them to the bone. The deep circles beneath the secretary's eyes were less than attractive, and the woman was obviously in need of a break. Thankfully, when her chief came out of his office to lecture Roy about his lateness, he took one look at her and ordered her to take one. The doctor might have been obsessive, but he did care about his staff, and insisted that they take care of themselves.

Each time he was here, Roy wondered why the man didn't get more staff so the work load would be better balanced, but currently he was benefiting from the fact that the usually pretty nurse had pale skin, glassy eyes, and had fingernails bitten down to the quick. While taking his blood sample she had bitten her lip, reminding Roy of Ed. But she couldn´t really hold a candle to the lively alchemist, especially not in this condition. So all Roy had to worry about was how many tries she would need to insert the needle into the blood vessel. He shouldn´t have been surprised that she managed it on the first.

There were a few absolutely wonderful things about Doctor Streng and his working ethic.

One, when the man examined him, there was absolutely nothing sexual about it. Roy was nearly naked of course, but Streng didn´t give a damn as long as there was no visible evidence of disease. The doctor did not see a dick or testicles as something that could awake pleasure. He saw them as a potential for sexually transmitted disease.

The second good thing about Streng and his methods was the fact that it was rather difficult to feel anything remotely related to arousal when dressed in an open back hospital gown. Streng didn´t give a shit about rank. He was the doctor and this was his domain. It didn't matter if his patient was a private or a general, all had to wear one of these things to be examined. And of course, it was hard to flee while your ass was on display. Roy never felt the need to run from the man, but he heard stories. The higher the rank, the more widely spread the story. It seems that the radius of rumor spreading was directly related to the rank you held. And running through the halls of headquarters with your ass exposed was an embarrassment most would hesitate to risk.

Streng wasn´t a psychologist for nothing, even if most people tended to forget about that bit.

"So far, the results are as expected," the doctor summarized. "We will of course have to await the lab results of your samples."

Once again, Roy wondered why his enemies had arranged to reschedule his appointment. Any visit here was one hell of a turn off. First, there was having to strip down in the cold glare of the doctor's office, replacing the comfortable security of his uniform with the dubious coverage of the hospital gown. Next there were the blood samples, and then… well, there was nothing at all erotic about a grumpy nurse telling you to pee into a plastic container, sending you off to a small, cubical bathroom with a cold floor and occasionally flicking light. Then that same sleep deprived woman accepted the result, even more grumpy that the container was no longer as clean on the outside as it had been before. Women probably didn't know how difficult it was to aim into those damn things, so Roy didn't take it personally when the nurse made a show of putting on fresh gloves after receiving his sample.

Roy was ready to leave. He wanted to change back into his uniform and feel like a human again, instead of a medical examination object with freezing feet. But Streng made no move to dismiss him, instead placing his pen on the table and pulling out a fresh pair of latex gloves.

Roy blinked. He was sure they had completed the normal routine.

"Doctor?" he asked, feeling a distinct sense of doom.

Streng stopped for a moment and frowned. "I suspect Nina has not informed you of the recent senior staff meeting and the new regulations," the man said.

Nina? Ah, the nurse. That would explain the evil glint in the woman's eyes. Shaking his head, Roy had the sneaking suspicion that he was about to discover the reason why his appointment had been rescheduled.

Streng huffed in a show of disapproval. "Well, there is a change in routine," the man explained as he motioned for Roy to the examination table. The Colonel didn´t move and Streng huffed again. "It has been brought to the attention of several generals that the age of fifty is sometimes too late for one particular preventive examination," the doctor explained, and the alchemist's eyes went wide.

Fifty? That was the age that they began to examined your... Oh no.

Streng placed a tube of Vaseline on the table.

Roy paled.

No way! He still had years to go before that. Hughes couldn't have convinced some higher up to reschedule that particular examination. They were going to kill him if they found out!

"One general in particular seemed worried on the behalf of staff younger than fifty, so it was decided that there would be an examination every two years for all male officers between twenty five and forty, and an annual check for men forty and up."

That must have been General Arschloch. Damn asshole.

Roy stood up, but certainly not to go to the examination table. He wanted to flee. The door was locked. His eyes darted to his clothes draped over a chair, but suddenly remembered taking his gloves off back in his office when he began making out with Ed. They were still there, discarded somewhere in his office room, far out of reach. Running for it was his only hope.

"Colonel Mustang." The doctor's icy voice stopped him. Roy turned around to see the man pull on the gloves. They were standard rubber examination gloves, no arrays stitched on them, nothing overtly dangerous about them, but the Colonel still felt threatened.

"May I remind you, that as a military officer you are expected to follow procedure?" The doctor asked.

Roy didn't move. Streng's eyes narrowed.

"You are currently out of uniform," the doctor reminded, but he had obviously forgotten just who it was he was talking to. Roy only shrugged, unimpressed at the thought of displaying his naked ass to the rest of the military. At least his ass was nice to look at.

Streng sighed the sigh of someone who felt a headache coming on.

"This examination _is_ going to take place. Your only choice in the matter is whether this -" he held up the Vaseline. "-is going to be warmed up before the examination or not."

"There will be no examination," Roy growled.

No way was Roy going through with this. Although he was sure a medical examination was not the kind of penetration that would directly result in his losing the bet, he certainly did not want find out how his body reacted to the direct stimulation of his prostate. No matter how professional Streng was. And especially not after the strange hallucinations he'd had that morning, and of course the fact that he's had to be very late for this appointment while he waited for the general to calm down after making out with Edward.

No way in hell.

He would defend his ass. Even though he now knew he was bisexual and there would probably come a time when he would want someone in there. But now was not that time. He _would_ defend his ass. Let the battle begin, he was ready for it. He might not have his gloves, but surely he was stronger than Streng.

They stared at each other, neither one backing down. Then Streng sighed again before he introduced Colonel Roy Mustang to the real reason why not a single soldier ever managed to escape him.

"It also is your choice whether or not I ask for Major Armstrong to restrain you during the examination." An evil grin formed at the doctor's lips when he saw the color drain from his patient's face. "And I would also like to remind you that within these examination rooms, anyone who is not staff – and that includes the major, even though he would not be here as a patient – is required to wear a hospital gown."

Oh god. And to think that Roy considered the man a consummate professional! How could a man in Streng's position sink so low as to order something like _that_? One look at the doctor's face, and the thought of just how many officers had failed to escape the man over the years, and Roy knew Streng would not hesitate to do as he threatened. Roy shuddered.

"Now, Colonel. Would you please step over to the examination couch and bend forward?" the doctor asked almost kindly as he opened the Vaseline tube.

**Tbc.**

* * *

Once again, I´m sorry for the long wait ^^ I hope you guys are still with me :D

A bit of information: Cameron is that tiny dot just below "East Area" where no road leads to on that map:

upload. wikimedia. org/wikipedia/commons/5/5d/Amestris_map. jpg

You need to remove the three spaces and put it in the address line of your browser.

Now, I hope you had fun reading :D I´ll wish you guys a nice weekend ^^

* * *

**Review Answers Non-Members/PM disabled:**

Lorelai: *cough* Uhm… yeah… updates… ^^° I´m trying to write ahead to prevent yet another huge break. And the current chapter is longer, to make up for the break ^^ Forgive me?

Mesonoxian: He is ^^ a tiny bit suicidal and lazy and a manipulative Bastard… but an awesome one XD

OtakuChris: I´m happy you do :D I´ll try my best so you will the rest of it as well ^^

0oJustAFelingo0: Huch, add jealous to the mix and you have last chapter's summary in one sentence XD

Eona: I´m glad the story managed to hook you up and I´m sorry for the wait ^^ I´m trying to write ahead to prevent another huge break. As it is, the next chapter is with my beta right now and the one after that is almost ready for beta ^^ I just can´t update them immediately or I´ll run out of chapters again XD But it won´t be yet another month before an update ^^°

wanda: I´m really excited that fic made it into your top 5 ^^ I may take some time updating every other chapter, but I never will abandon this fic as long as it´s nothing major that keeps me from writing (major as in: Being hit by a truck or something like that ^^°) Torturing Roy is fun :D I love to read you liked it as well. As you see, this chapter Roy was not the only one getting frustrated ^^ I hope you liked Ed being the victim for once as well :D


	31. Another Way to Suffer and a New Directio

**A/N: **My laptop is death ._. I will answer all reviews/pms/mails when I have my baby back. I hope it will be soon, I´m waiting already over 2 weeks(!) for it to return from repair ._.

Now have fun reading ^^

**Beta&Co-Author**: Ca11iope. Thank you dear for the advice ^^ It really is better this way :D

* * *

**Chapter 30: Another Way to Suffer and a New Direction**

"Edward." Hawkeye sounded like a mother who had caught her teenage son looking at porn magazines. Ed deliberately looked away and shrugged.

"Nothing happened," Ed stated, and even Fuery snorted in disbelief. All eyes went to the dark haired technician who blushed and looked down again.

"Ed-"

"No. Stop asking," he snapped.

Bad decision. Riza's brown eyes narrowed and Edward took an involuntary step back.

"Edward Elric." The tone was as sharp as her shooting skills. Ed backed away while lifting her comb as if it was a weapon. Then he seemed to remember that it was not a blade, and just who he wanted to defend himself from. He quickly placed it on her desk before starting to separate golden strands into three parts.

His actions were watched by the staff, not without some fascination. It was not the fact that Edward was braiding his hair in front of a small mirror leaned against a stack of paperwork that amazed them. It was the fact that Edward Elric was managing to hide the impressive number of hickeys with surprising skill.

He was not doing this for the first time.

Edward Elric knew about sex.

And it was obvious by the level of skill he was displaying that he had known about it well before this whole thing with Mustang started.

Damn.

Havoc had known intellectually that Ed was an adult, and yes, when the young man returned to Central he had noticed that the blond was indeed attractive. At the time he had wondered how successful Ed would become with the ladies, but he had not expected this. It felt somehow strange, finding out about this particular part of Ed's life. And it wasn't as if this were a surprise. They had all seen the photos the Investigations officer had taken. Still, it felt weird, like finding out that your little brother had lost his innocence.

Edward Elric was used to hiding lovebites.

Havoc took a deep breath and wished for a cigarette.

And Edward was obviously used to hiding anything to do with his sex life as well. Neither Breda's teasing nor Havoc's speculations had gained them any information whatsoever. Neither Fuery nor Falman had even attempted to question the young man. Riza Hawkeye was obviously more of a strategist than Jean had ever guessed however. She had been sitting back, observing the give and take, and it appeared that she was now ready to act on her observations.

And damn, she always had been an excellent markswoman both verbal and with her weapon, but no one – including Havoc – expected her to behave so aggressively in order to get information from Edward. Nonetheless, all of them instantly jumped in followed her lead.

"Ed, what happened in there? And don´t tell me 'nothing'. Not even Fuery believes that," Hawkeye snapped. Kain buried himself behind his paperwork.

"None of your business." The icy reply was far more than Havoc himself could have responded with faced with an antagonistic Riza Hawkeye on the hunt.

The woman smiled. Evilly.

"Pardon me, _Mister_ Elric," emphasis on the missing rank. He couldn't order her to back off. "But my superior did not complete even a quarter of his assigned paperwork. And I believe Colonel Mustang left far sooner for his lunch break than he was supposed to. I also believe that he did it because of you. So, he would have had to return early from his break to make up for the lost time." She casually reached for her weapon. "He was in his office when I arrived. So…" With a quick motion, the safety was off. "As the officer in charge of his schedule, I need to know how he spent his extended break. Particularly the time he spent in his office during that break."

"I told you, it´s none of-"

One bullet on the right side of his hip, one on the left, and everybody knew where the third would be directed. Ed cursed. Hell, every male in the office cursed. But Ed was the only one who could not hide behind a desk.

"So, I suspect he didn´t do his paperwork to make up for the lost time?" she asked.

"Uhm… no," The pale alchemist answered.

"Is it safe to assume he spent his time with you?"

"…"

The weapon lifted.

"Fuck. Yes. So what? It´s his break, he's -" Ed started and stopped when his most precious parts found themselves in the line of fire.

"I assume the two of you weren´t just talking?"

There was no way Ed would be able to lie about that. Not after they'd seen his neck. He blushed and shifted uncomfortably on his feet. The weapon followed the motion.

"He didn´t - uhm…" Ed started.

"What? Suck on your neck?" Havoc interrupted with a leer. "Sure. And Breda is adopting Black Hayate."

Happy for the excuse to shift his attention away from Hawkeye the alchemist glared at him.

"So, did he sucked on anything else?" Wiggling his eyebrows, Breda quickly jumped in before Havoc found himself being strangled.

Fuery stood up in a rush and excused himself, all but running from the room. Poor boy, this was too much for him.

"Or did you do the sucking?" Havoc quickly added.

"Like fuck I'm going to tell you-"

"Answer the question, Edward," Hawkeye interrupted, and the alchemist froze.

"You´re not serious." The third shot hit him between his legs – directly between his thighs and one inch below his groin. He stared at Hawkeye. Then at her gun.

"Why don't you sit down and we can all have a little chat?" the First Lieutenant asked, her pistol never wavering.

With a stubborn glare and all kinds of hard feelings, Edward did.

* * *

Oh god, please let him die. Hold on. Let him fuck – preferably Ed - and _then_ die.

Streng had not warmed up the Vaseline. Not after all the resistance he'd had to deal with. So it was freaking cold, and uncomfortable, and humiliating, and – Roy got a boner. He could feel himself blushing and tried not to wince. This was absolutely the first time in his entire life that he was embarrassed over his arousal.

As expected, there had been nothing at all sexual about the examination. It was purely medical. But his body had reacted. The general appeared to be very much in the mood to give Roy some payback, and the purely professional touch of the medical expert had sent shiver down his spine. But at the same time, Roy was struck with the brief memory of something else entirely, something very hard and quite nicely sized thrusting into the same place the gloved finger had been moments ago. Another hallucination?

Roy was still sporting one hell of an erection while the doctor filed the results of his exam in his medical records.

"Really, Colonel. It happens all the time," Streng assured him, unimpressed. "Though I have to say it doesn´t usually happen to this extent with someone as sexually active as you are." The man spoke as if this was a normal everyday conversation. For him, it probably was. "I have to admit, I didn´t expect it. I´ve been under the impression that your private life is not lacking in that area." He frowned, casting a look at Roy's impressive bulge. "If you wish, I can give you some time alone," the doctor offered.

Roy clenched his teeth. "No, thank you."

Streng shrugged. "I wouldn´t recommend ignoring your bodies needs on a regular basis. It can become quite painful -" As if he didn't know, "-and can also be quite harmful to your psychological condition if it continues for extended periods of time."

Roy blinked. "It… wouldn´t do any permanent harm, wouldn´t it?" Suddenly, he felt panic rise. It did nothing to stop the rising in another area.

Streng stopped writing and looked up.

"Colonel." He paused and started to twist the pen in his hands. "Before this appointment, when did you have your last erection?"

If this man hadn't been a doctor…

"Twenty minutes ago?" the Colonel gave a rough estimate.

"I meant before this appointment," Doctor Streng repeated himself.

"I did too."

* * *

"So, he did not touch any… improper places?"

"No!" Ed groaned and buried his face in his hands. Even his ears were red by now.

"Not even himself?"

"You saw him leaving, didn't you?" Ed snapped back, temper rising. "Did he look as if he'd….?" The blonde stopped. "Why are you even asking _that_?"

Breda leaned back and observed the young man.

"_He_ didn´t look like he'd done anything." The redhead leered. Falman let out a suspicious cough and Havoc felt heat rising to his face at what his fellow soldier was implying.

Ed slammed his hands on Fuery's desk and stood up. He was met with a glare from the only female in the room and sat back down.

"Look, Hawkeye," he said. "I promise, I won´t give him another excuse to slack off on his paperwork, unless it's a real emergency or something." he offered. "In fact, I can pretty much guarantee that you won't be seeing me around here anymore after this."

Riza's eyebrow went up. Then she sent a glance to Havoc who unobtrusively checked the list of off limits activities as outlined by the bet in front of him, hoping it looked like he was doing some paperwork. With a short nod, he confirmed that every point on the list was noted.

So far, Ed had not said what had happened exactly, but he had denied engaging in every one of the proscribed acts. From the looks of it, Mustang hadn't crossed the line. Damn.

But maybe that was a good thing. Havoc did not want to think about Ed actually admitting that he had done some of those things. In fact, if it weren´t for his own stake in the wager, Jean would probably have fled shortly after Fuery.

Riza stared at the embarrassed alchemist a few more seconds, before she finally nodded.

Ed didn´t even bid them farewell. He ran.

Havoc cast a shamed look toward Hawkeye and Breda, catching the guilty tint in their eyes as well.

Roy may not have crossed the line with Ed, but Havoc felt that the rest of the team certainly had. The young alchemist was really just an innocent bystander in all this, and they had harassed him unmercifully about something that he had every right to keep private. Judging from the young alchemist's last words, this had likely done irreparable damage to his relationship with Roy's staff.

In eleven more days, or hopefully less, it would all be over and things could go back to normal. This bet was turning them all into nasty, vindictive people, and Havoc didn't like it. He didn't like it at all.

* * *

The doctor blinked.

"And when was your last ejaculation?"

Roy closed his eyes for a few seconds and then looked at the man before he gave him the exact date of the day before the bet started.

The physician appeared as if he was starting to get a headache.

"Colonel, why didn´t you tell me that you are unable to reach orgasm?"

Roy cleared his throat. "I'm perfectly capable of reaching orgasm."

"I know can be hard to accept," the doctor said, voice soothing. "Problems of this type have nothing to do with your abilities as a man, or -"

"I'm perfectly capable of reaching orgasm," Roy repeated, bristling. "I don´t _want_ to reach orgasm!"

The doctor's eyebrow went up. Then he hummed and started to write again.

The Colonel groaned. Unless he said something, he was likely headed for a psychiatric evaluation.

"I…" Roy cleared his throat. "I need to win a bet," he finally admitted.

* * *

The moment Ed entered Hughes office, he saw the man's eye narrowing suspiciously and was immediately on guard.

"Interesting hairstyle, Ed." Maes' smile was predatory.

"Not one word," Ed hissed. "If one more person asks me about Roy, they _will_ regret it." That sounded very much like a promise.

Hughes' smile widened. Now, that was some temper. Suicidal or not, he was delighted. The young man was already on edge. A murderous edge, but an edge nevertheless. Hughes prepared to give the younger man another shove to see what the he might reveal when he was tilting off balance.

"_Roy_, huh? What happened to 'the Bastard'?" Maes shot out question after question."What are you hiding under your hair? Hickeys? From who? The Bastard? Or should I say _Roy_?"

Maes had to take cover underneath his desk, very quickly. Fortunately the lamp Ed flung in response to this line of questioning was standard military issue, and therefore easily replaceable.

"Sexually frustrated, Ed?" Maes continued his verbal barrage from beneath the desk. "You two didn´t get far enough?"

The sheer volume of Edward's fury was truly impressive, as were the rather imaginative insults about Hughes parentage, background, and physical attributes. Yes, the young blond was definitely in a murderous rage.

This was going to be fun.

* * *

When Roy left the medical wing, he was feeling rather stunned.

It was the first time he had ever heard of Doctor Streng actually insulting anyone. It had been startling, and even a little exhilarating, to see the mantle of professionalism drop so unexpectedly from the man, although it did sting a bit that Roy was the one being insulted. He had not known there were so many synonyms for the word 'idiot'. When Roy reminded Streng of his position as a psychologist, all it had earned him was a cool look, and the observation that when it came to Roy, clearly all hope for sanity was already lost. That little hint of humor had also been surprising.

As was the sympathy he had seen in the man's eyes.

So Roy had asked the man for advice, and Doctor Streng sat down and talked to him. Not as a doctor, not as a psychologist, but as a fellow man who happened to have helpful professional knowledge. It had been surprisingly refreshing, and the medical man had clearly been delighted to have someone actually listen and take his advice, even though he tried very hard to hide it.

When Roy left the medical wing, he stopped by the gym to schedule a few training hours. To his shame, he had been reminded of just how long it had been since he had done any regular physical training. He liked to run, but since the bet he had not been out running as often as he used to. The Colonel shuddered to think that the next time Ed groped him, he ass might not be as firm as it was now, and that was simply not acceptable. Roy liked his body and usually put a good bit of effort into keeping it in shape.

Now however, he had been informed that he could book up to four hours a month and have it accredited as working hours. And if it was arranged with a doctor's permission, he could log as many as eight. As regulations went it made sense, since soldiers were expected to keep fit so that they would be ready and able to fight if necessary. Streng had authorized his request, and therefore Roy would be able to shove some more paperwork aside without risking Hawkeye's wrath. And due to this sudden bonding with the doctor, Roy had gained an unexpected and valuable ally.

Despite the afternoon's disastrous beginning, the Colonel was quite satisfied with his visit to the medical wing. Now he needed to make sure the next visit on his agenda ended just as well.

There was a certain manipulative Investigations officer Roy needed to roast.

"Noooo!" Hughes shouted. "What have you done?"

And here he had thought Edward Elric was a good person. But this… this was exceptionally cruel.

"I fused all the photos of your daughter together," Ed answered, crossing his arms as he leaned back to watch the other man try to separate the pictures.

"I can see that!" Maes snapped. "I was only asking a few questions about your relationship with my friend. This is uncalled for!"

Hughes felt a jab of victory when he noticed Ed self-consciously pulling at his braid to hide the evidence of his little tryst with Roy. And those were some rather impressive marks his friend had left. Which was surprising. Maes knew the Flame Alchemist had a thing for sucking on throats, but this was overkill. Not even makeup would be enough to hide these, though Edward's strategically arranged braid did a passable job. It would work if one didn´t know Ed and the fact that the man never wore his hair that way. It certainly looked different.

Maes still wondered why Roy had marked Ed like that. It was quite the interesting tidbit of information. He couldn´t quite decided yet what was more intriguing: Ed skillfully hiding lovebites and still keeping his mouth shut – or Roy becoming possessive.

At least the young man no longer denied the fact that something had happened between him and Roy, though he refused to give away any details. Hughes decided to talk to Riza as soon as possible, since he knew the younger man had been in Roy's office earlier, and had arrived in Maes office already in a very pissed off state. It was highly likely that Hawkeye had managed pull information out of him. Hughes briefly considered hiring her for Investigations. Or asking her to step in for difficult interrogations.

Looking up from the stack of inseparable photographs, Hughes noticed Ed getting up.

"Where are you going?" he asked. "The crime scene! We haven´t discussed-"

"After the day I've had, I'm not so sure about this anymore," The young man interrupted, scowling darkly. "I need to think about it."

What? Maes took a few seconds to inspect Edward's glower before finally nodding. "Fine. There's no rush. Now, if you please-" He pointed at his precious photo collection.

Surprisingly, Ed took one of Maes' pens and started to write on the top photo. Hughes blinked surprised. He couldn´t remember when Edward had last drawn an array. Then he noticed that the man was writing, not drawing. Ed looked up and grinned mischievously at the man's dumbstruck expression . "Roy can fix this. It's a pretty simple transmutation." With that, Ed placed the pen back on Maes' desk and made a bee line for the door.

Maes looked back at the photo stack with narrowed eyes. Of course he could ask his friend to handle this. He just had to make sure he did it before he started interrogating the other alchemist. Then Maes noticed just what the little brat had written. A note for Mustang, telling him to do the transmutation when he left Maes office – but only if he was not questioned by Maes about anything to do with Ed.

"What the- " Hughes stopped himself from swearing. Then he glared at the blond. "You know, I wonder what happened to that good hearted young boy Gracia and I have always considered to be part of our family," he spat.

Ed only shrugged.

The diabolical brat had left Maes with a difficult decision: he could question Roy – and he was dying to do so – or get his photos back. His curiosity pitted against Elysia's photos.

Apparently Mustang wasn't the only bastard in the vicinity.

Still, Maes was as good as the game. It would be a challenge, but he was positive he could manage to get both answers and his photo collection. There was no way he was going to sacrifice Elysia's pictures. And he knew how to handle Mustang. He would get the man to transmute the pictures before he interrogated him.

Seeing the determined look on Maes' face, the blonde smiled from the door as he bid him farewell. Hughes sent him a glare in answer, but was surprised when Ed stopped just before closing the door.

"Oh, before I forget." Edward's tone was anything but what it implied. The man had been waiting until the very end to mention this. "I told Roy about your job offer. He was… thrilled. " The alchemist took a moment to enjoy the horrified expression on Hughes' face before he made his exit.

Hughes stared at the door.

Then at the block of photographs in front of him.

"I'll bet he was," the man sighed. Maes had planned to tell Roy about the contract, but for his friend to find out like this...

Well, a livid Flame Alchemist certainly complicated things.

Especially when it came to getting his pictures back.

* * *

When Roy rounded stepped out of the stairwell he was surprised to see Ed in front of Hughes' office. He was sure the young man would have left by now. It appeared as if the blond alchemist was quite satisfied with himself at the moment, and the Colonel instantly wondered how his meeting with Maes had gone. Was Edward happy to have a new job perhaps? Something must have gone right for Ed to be in such a good mood after visiting Maes Hughes with such a bruised neck. Roy knew how persistent his friend could be, and by now he also knew how closed off Ed became when questioned about anything regarding his love life.

The slight smile on Edward's lips vanished the moment the blond noticed him.

"_You_!" Ed snapped, and Roy stopped in surprised as the man stormed over to him.

"Ed, I -" He wanted to tell him he could understand his anger, but it really had been deserved. He didn't get the chance.

The younger man stopped in front of him and push the hair away from his neck. "How the hell am I supposed to hide these, you damn Bastard?" The man hissed quietly.

"You´re upset about… the hickeys?" Roy blinked, surprised again when Ed's anger subsided for a moment as the man blushed.

"Well, I… uhm… wanted to apologize to you, too."

Roy lifted one eyebrow. Now, that was interesting, but Edward hadn't seemed to be about to offer an apology. "You certainly have an interesting way of doing that, Edward."

"Shut up, Bastard. I said I _wanted_ _to_. But I´m not going to do that now. Now I´m pissed at you." The anger was back and Ed looked ready to kill when the Colonel in front of him smirked.

"Really?" Roy said, all innocence. "I hadn´t noticed."

Ed bristled, but before he could lash out again, either physically or verbally, the other alchemist brought them back on topic.

"The point of those marks is _not_ to hide them," Roy explained, then stopped for a moment to gaze at the man in front of him. "Although I have to say I like your hair that way."

Ed had braided his hair to side, leaving the left side of his neck exposed, but the other side covered by a plait of gold that reached almost to his waist. It looked lovely. Especially combined with that light blush.

"No way I´m walking around showing off the signs of your idiotic behavior," Ed growled, and Roy grinned.

"So, if I mark the other side, you´ll walk around with two braids?" Imagining Edward with a braid on each side to cover both sides of his neck ... Roy had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing.

Ed did not appear at all amused. "Then I guess I'll have to make sure you don´t do that again," he spat.

Roy felt like pouting. Then he smiled disarmingly. "But you liked me doing that," he practically purred, and the color on Edward's face darkened considerably. Oh damn, he was just too tempting.

Having learned from the last time he had done this in public, Roy leaned in much slower this time. He wanted to kiss Ed again, but the blond stepped back, avoiding him. It appeared that the man was still angry over those damn hickeys.

Or was he? Roy noticed it again. The inconspicuous quick glance at their surroundings.

Roy stopped and looked around as well, but no one was there. Frowning, the Colonel looked back to Ed, who looked at him questioningly. Roy wondered why. After all, Edward himself had looked around, although much more discreetly. That had been the only difference, so that had to be it. Roy openly looking around was strange, but Ed observing their environment like he expected to be spied upon was normal.

And thinking about it, when he kissed Ed in the car, the young man had also glanced around the first moment he noticed they were in public. Edward had not kissed him goodbye that time in the street either. He had even lost his temper and hit Roy for kissing him in the reception hall. Now that Roy thought about it, Edward had never shown him any affection in public. The one time Ed had taken Roy's hand had been an almost unconscious gesture, and he had broke it off as soon as he became aware of what he was doing. Sure, there had been some light flirting when they were out eating, but it could also have been taken as teasing. Hell, back then it probably _had_ merely been teasing. They had just been two men eating out and making fun of each other. Perfectly acceptable.

Then it dawned to him that his metaphor of Ed expecting to be spied on was probably not as farfetched as it sounded, particularly if one considered the background. He had lived for two years under the watchful eye of a very oppressive regime, in a gender inappropriate relationship. Under the circumstances, Ed's behavior made perfect sense.

"Ed..." Roy started, and the blond looked up at him. "I want to take you out. On a date."

The young man in front of him appeared hesitant for a moment.

"You wanna go out to eat something?" he asked.

"No… yes. But not only that. I want to take you on a date. Dinner included. Tomorrow." It was almost amusing to see the confusion on Ed's face.

"Uhm…"

Come on, it couldn´t be that hard to agree to date him, could it? Sheepishly, the Colonel decided to push further. "If you really want to apologize for whatever you wanted to apologize for, then just say you'll go out with me." Really, turning to blackmail to get a date. This was definitely a record low for Roy. Maybe he should change his name to Jean.

But speaking of apologizing ...

"What exactly did you want to apologize for?" Roy asked, curious.

Maybe he should have felt insulted at the way Ed gladly changed the subject away from being asked out on a date. But then the man huffed and crossed his arms over his chest before he murmured something, the tone sour.

"What was that?" Roy was not pushing, really, but Ed's apology had been quite unintelligible.

"Because of what happened in the kitchen, and after, about Al." This time, the blonde was at least understandable. "You were right about… well, that." It was surprising how Ed could go from pissed off to confused to blushing in mere seconds. "I shouldn´t try to keep things from him. At least the.. uhm… usual stuff. Just not the … he doesn´t need the details," Ed finished.

"I don´t think he _wants_ the details," Roy said, and the blonde looked at him, clearly waiting for something. Quickly, the Colonel lifted his hands. "Hey, I'm not going to fill him in on that. I do have _some_ sense of decency."

Ed snorted in doubt, but left it at that. Then he sighed. "I'm really an idiot," he murmured, clearly lost in his thoughts. There was a surprising bitterness in his voice that caught Roy off guard.

"I won't argue that." That earned Roy another glare. "But I don't think it´s that bad. You were trying to protect your brother, and I don't think anyone with a brother or sister is keen to let them know what they are doing in their bedrooms … or kitchens." Leering at the correction, Roy could see that his attempts to lighten the mood seemed at least successful enough to bring a small smile to Edward's face.

"I'm glad he doesn´t have anything against it," Ed admitted suddenly. That was another thing Roy wouldn´t argue about. Having to get something he found objectionable past Al would really be bothersome.

"And since he doesn´t, and you want to apologize, you'll go out with me tomorrow?" Roy would have loved to reach for the man, to kiss him and persuade him that way, but knowing how Ed usually reacted to public displays of affection, Roy knew he would be rebuffed.

It was probably a good thing Ed was not able to read minds. If he could, his answer would likely have been different. Still, Edward hesitated a bit and looked at him while Roy tried his best to appear innocent – and failed miserably judging from the way Ed sighed warily.

"Yes. Tomorrow's fine," the younger man finally said.

**Tbc.**

* * *

Please cross your fingers for my files ._. I hope they will survive. Among the victims, there is the next chapter of the bet as well as a few other almost finished chapters for other fics.

Happy Easter! :D


	32. Unusual Behavior

**A/N: **My laptop and the files are back for quite a while. I´m ashamed it still took me so long again ._. I´m really, really sorry for the long wait and hope you are still with me ^^ Now, I won´t delay this any further with huge A/Ns except for the notice that – considered the current purge of ffnet –this fic will most likely disappear at some point in the future. You will be able to still access it at my Livejournal-blog (for the link, see my profile).

I also tried to at least answer the reviews on last chapter. I apologize for not having answered the reviews of the chapter before that ._. I simply got lost ^^° I will once again answer as I should and if you feel forgotten of if you wanted something to be answered, I apologize from the bottom of my heart if I haven´t replied to your review. It was not intentionally ._. If you don´t mind, please just give me a hint and I definetely will write back.

Now, I wish you much fun with the next chapter ^^

**Beta&Co-Author**: Ca11iope. You are simply amazing *hugs* You really are :D

* * *

**Chapter 31: Unusual Behavior**

The moment Roy stepped into Hughes' office, he knew the man had been listening in on his conversation with Ed. He watched Roy enter the room with the intensity of a predator on the hunt, and his lazy smirk did nothing to temper it. Roy sighed. That´s what he got for discussing private matters where his best friend could so easily overhear. He instantly regretted leaving his gloves in his office, but they had understandably been the last thing on his mind while walking out on an aroused Edward. And part of his brain still insisted that the last six words of that sentence clearly were one big, fucked up mistake. Damn. He knew he had taken off his gloves at some point during their make out session, but he'd only really noticed their absence when stripping for his medical.

"A date, huh?" Hughes leaned back to observe. Roy suddenly felt like a crime suspect.

"What about it?" It´s not like he didn´t date on a regular basis.

"And Al knows about your… relationship with Ed?"

Roy's eyes narrowed at the contemplative tone his friend was using. "It´s not a relationship," he corrected automatically, and instantly wondered just what it was. Again.

"So, Al knows you plan to sleep with his brother and then…?" Leaving the sentence unfinished, Hughes looked at him expectantly. The Colonel took a deep breath.

"I don´t see how anything I do or don´t do with Ed is any of your business. As long as I don´t break my part of the bet. And I haven't," Roy blocked.

"You don´t date men. And you never put any effort into dating, period. More than just dinner means you're planning something. Which you never do when all you want is sex," Maes countered. "What brought on this change?"

"And you don´t pry into my dating habits. This date is not about sex, so it has nothing to do with the bet. And is therefore none of your business."

"Not about sex?" Hughes shot back instantly, and the Colonel felt like cursing. "In that case, what exactly _is_ it about?"

It was time to get Hughes off this topic. "Why didn´t you tell me you offered Edward a job?"

"He hasn't accepted it." Yet. Hughes didn´t say it, but he didn´t have to. "You've never shown any interest in who was hired by Investigations before. Suddenly you are. Because it´s Ed?"

"Maybe it's because you seem to have something other than a simple job offer on your agenda," Roy told him with a level glare.

Hughes fell silent for a few moments before he made a gesture toward the chair in front of his desk. The Colonel glare did not ease but he complied.

For a few moments, they looked at each other. Then Roy snorted amused and Hughes smiled.

"We´re acting like idiots." Roy informed his friend, and Maes nodded. "This bet is fucking us up."

"I know." The Lieutenant Colonel's his smile suddenly appeared agonized and he pointed at something on his desk. "Uhm… could you?"

Curious, the Colonel leant forward picked up the glossy cube to read the note on top. Again, he let out an amused sound.

"Ed certainly hit you where it counts," Roy said thoughtfully, noting Hughes' nervousness. His friend probably wondered if Roy was about to do the same, and hoping that since Roy had to draw a transmutation circle, Maes might have time to prevent further damage to his precious photos. Of course the Lieutenant Colonel would have to know what the circle was designed to do, and that wasn't very likely. Roy examined Ed's handiwork. The cube was seamless, and perfectly proportioned. "Almost a shame to ruin it." Mustang murmured, before he picked up a pen from the desk.

"Almost . . . ?! Those are pictures of Elysia!" The man next to him cried out, getting a wicked grin in return.

"I meant the fused result, not the original pictures," Roy clarified, and the Investigations Officer sputtered scandalized.

"So, what _is_ on your agenda?" The Flame Alchemist asked as he quickly sketched out an array.

"Not much, actually," Maes began. He ignored his friends disbelieving glance and continued. "I just got wind of some proposed policy changes and I think it might be a good idea to have a former State Alchemist on hand if these changes come to pass. Don´t worry, you´ll be the first one I contact as soon as I get confirmation."

"And what are these policy changes?" The Colonel questioned. It seemed that Maes wasn't being as underhanded as Roy thought. Not for the first time the alchemist wondered how a simple bet could have such a bad influence on their relationship, but then he shoved that thought aside. A bet couldn't make them enemies. He should really stop acting like a fool and trust Hughes, just as he always had. When the man didn´t deem information important enough to tell him, then it most likely wasn't.

Hughes shrugged. "Maybe you're right and I should have told you sooner, but from what I've heard, some Generals are not happy with the way the State Alchemist program is currently handled."

Roy grimaced. That was nothing new.

Maes continued. "It appears that they plan to do something about it, but I don't have any details beyond the fact that they want some kind of supervision and information pool in place."

Now, _that_ was new. "Supervision? How could they implement something like that?" Mustang decided to dig a bit further but obviously, his friend didn´t know much more about it.

"Beats me. I`m not sure exactly what the higher brass have in mind, but I`ll find out. I'm surprised that this hasn't come up sooner. We've had more than just a few incidents with State Alchemists over the years. They desert, or secretly do extensive research in prohibited fields, or both. The Generals are pretty pissed over endangering loyal State Alchemists to hunt down the renegades, and the lack of information on what exactly the deserters were researching makes it even more dangerous. Progress reports every six months with concrete results every two years to guarantee recertification is not enough. The Brass wants more control."

"It's worse that they realize. The progress reports and research documents are usually missing critical information," Roy said.

Which was an open secret. All alchemists, but particularly State Alchemists, were very careful when it came to letting others in on their best weapons and achievements. By rough estimate, all publications were at least one year behind the actual research. Then there were the researchers who falsified results and misreported findings in order to gain an advance, or outright hide what they were really researching. Often these scientists had other alchemists or higher ranked officers as their accomplices, covering for them. Information was power, and this particular source of power was volatile and almost completely unregulated. And the military did not like that.

"If they really are planning to supervise their alchemists…" Mustang mused, his mind already running with the possibilities and dangers of such a position.

"I´d rather have someone we trust overseeing that program." Hughes agreed. "But they seem to be stuck on agreeing to a suitable candidate."

Nodding slightly, the Flame Alchemist saw the problem. "They can´t use just anyone for this. For one thing, the State Alchemist Division is one of the military's strongest resources. This new policy is bound to cause a lot of dissention within their ranks. The head supervisor would have to be someone they can respect. The Brass can't use someone who is State Certified right now either, as it would defeat the intended purpose, but they do need an alchemist knowledgeable enough to be able to understand what the best alchemists in the country are doing. And until they find that person, the Generals' plans are at a standstill. The person in charge would have to be in on the design of the program itself."

"Exactly," Maes said. "Right now everything is up in the air. I´ll inform you as soon as I know more."

Roy nodded agreeing, then frowned. "What do your plans for Ed have to do with this?"

"Hm?" Hughes looked up. "Oh. Nothing. I just want to keep every option available, just in case. I offered him the job because I thought it would do him some good to settle down for a while. It looked like he was going to accept my offer, but now he appears unwilling to take the position."

Unwilling? Did that mean Ed wanted to accept the other job offer? No way in fucking hell! Biting his lip, Roy wondered what could have changed Edward's mind. After lunch he had seemed to be agreeable to staying in Central. So either Roy had read his reactions wrong – or something had happened while Roy was with Doctor Streng. He had to investigate this further if Ed seemed likely to take the other job. If Ed decided to move away… he would first have to get past Roy Mustang's formidable powers of persuasion. It looked like Roy had something else to do tomorrow.

Right now however, he needed to focus on Maes.

This immediately reminded Roy that his meddlesome friend had been out to dinner with Edward to make his job offer. In his typical inquisitive fashion, had he perhaps pried into Edward's private life as well? The Colonel couldn't help but wonder what Maes had found out, particularly about that plural Ed used when he'd mentioned former lovers. Roy now knew the blonde´s first had been in that other world, but there had to be at least another one. Since Roy didn´t think Edward Elric would cheat on his first lover, the possibility that the other was Amestrian was fairly high. But asking Hughes about it? The man was already too suspicious as it was when it came to Roy's 'relationship' with Ed.

Roy took the safe road. "If you want to keep him in Central, you better get busy persuading him to stay," he said. "I know he has at least one other out of town job offer."

Roy finally transmuted the block back into individual pictures. With an actual cry of joy, Maes hugged the photos to his chest before proceeding to go through them with the usual amount of fawning and worshipping. Mustang watched, shaking his head, as his best friend cuddled and kissed the photographs, and wondered if the chemicals used to develop photos might cause permanent brain damage. Then he took the opportunity to flee before the man decided to ask any more questions.

Like where exactly Roy's famous gloves were.

* * *

The first thing the Flame Alchemist did upon returning to his office was to look for his gloves. When he stepped into his office, everything was exactly how he left it, paperwork and all, except for two things: the lack of a certain blond alchemist - not surprising – and his gloves were missing as well. Frowning, the Colonel searched the floor around and under his desk. He found the handle Ed had broken off the third drawer, but no gloves.

Roy went back to the outer office and proceeded to interrogate his staff. No one had entered his office while he had been away, and they all assured him that the outer office had been occupied the entire time since they had returned from lunch. There was no way anyone could have entered the office without being noticed, so his gloves should still be there. For a moment, Roy suspected that Havoc, Hughes, or Hawkeye might have taken them, maybe as part of a plan to once again cheat their way to a win on the bet. But on the other hand, he couldn´t see Hawkeye taking his gloves to the shooting range with her. It would leave him without protection, and bet or no bet, she would not do that. That left Havoc or Hughes. Roy had just left Hughes, and he was pretty sure he would have mentioned something if he had them, for much the same reason as Hawkeye. Maes had never been Roy's enemy, and after everything that had happened, he was grateful he never would be. This bet was certainly messing with their friendship, but all in all it was still just a friendly competition. Roy had no desire to find out what the man would be like if they weren't friends. Havoc… well, it was a possibility, but once again, Roy couldn´t picture the blond Lieutenant hatching any schemes that involved his gloves or the need to separate Roy from his weapon. Well, except if the man had done something to earn Roy's wrath, but it was still unlikely.

Roy once again searched the surroundings of his desk, this time more thoroughly, and had to smile when he found Ed's hair tie hidden between two stacks of paperwork.

Edward.

Right. There was another person who could have taken his gloves.

The Colonel sat down in his chair and thought about the blond while his fingers thoughtlessly played with the tie. Now, what reason could the younger alchemist have to take his gloves? Perhaps for something to do with their research? But surely Ed could have waited until tomorrow to ask for them. And to be honest, Ed might be a genius when it came to alchemy, but Roy doubted the man would had been thinking about their research while he was -

Roy's finger stopped playing with the soft band in his hand just as his thoughts also came to a grinding halt.

No. Ed didn't do ... _that_… did he?

The gaze of the dark eyes shifted to the second drawer.

Well, he had _told_ Edward to do that. And the blond alchemist had been painfully aroused, and needy, and -

His gloves were missing.

Roy leaned back and tried to calm himself. Well, he had told Ed to think about him. The Colonel thought of Ed stroking himself, wearing Roy's gloves. Most likely imagining Roy doing the things Ed was doing to himself.

The Colonel didn´t have to look down to know he had a sizable tent in his trousers. Again.

Damn.

* * *

He was one stack into the huge amount of paperwork and to his staff's amazement, the Colonel was plowing thorough it, trying to get it finished. He had a date to plan and not much time to do so. Staying late just for the sake of finishing that annoying paperwork was not worth it. So Roy worked.

Havoc checked in on him every half an hour, feeling like this was some kind of twisted parallel world. And of course, he suspected the bet was somehow responsible. In his eyes it was obvious that Mustang was trying to distract himself again, but he didn't dare ask just what could have happened. It was almost a shame the man was getting the distraction he so clearly wanted.

Just as Hawkeye had planned, Maria Ross arrived mid-afternoon bearing more paperwork. Denny Brosh accompanied her, since there was definitely too much for one person to carry.

Havoc winced and Breda's eyes went wide. Even Vato blinked in surprise.

But that was nothing compared to Mustang's reaction.

It had been a while since they had heard the man curse like that. And then he became dangerously quiet.

"No." The Colonel's eyes were numbingly cold.

"Sir, we -" Maria began but she was immediately interrupted.

"No! Get lost!" The amount of venom in her superior's voice was remarkable.

"-under orders-" the woman continued, ignoring the interruption.

The eavesdropping staff heard the sourly muttered, "I have a date to plan and no time for this."

Instantly, Roy's staff exchanged glances. This situation wasn't anything new. Well, usually it was Hawkeye who argued with their superior, but still. They had heard this many times before. Now however, there was in fact something unusual about this. It was Havoc who said it.

"I thought he was uhm… what exactly is that he does with Ed?" It was clear the two men had not slept with each other, but for the first time they all wondered just what was going on between them.

"Dating?" Kain guessed.

"Not until now," Vato answered. "According to our intelligence, they have not yet had an official date."

"And now he wants to _date_ Ed?" Havoc questioned. "I thought Mustang only dated to get someone into bed. So why would he date Ed _now_? Shouldn´t he have done that before?"

"Before what? Nothing… not much happened." Kain pointed out, blushing, but apparently getting slowly used to all the talk about sexual intercourse between men.

Breda frowned, then another idea seemed to dawn him. "Maybe it´s not Ed he´s planning to date. I mean… don´t you think it´s strange he doesn´t date anyone else?" he asked.

"I thought he only went out with Ed because of the bet." Havoc said, confusion slowly taking over.

"I thought those hadn´t been dates." Fuery said, his voice betraying his bewilderment.

"So why is he planning a date?" Falman asked.

"Why is he seeing Ed because of the bet? I thought he wanted to fuck him." Breda reminded them all.

The men looked at each other, for once at a loss for words and with no clue about just what exactly was going on.

Maria Ross, on the other hand, was still in the line of fire. "My orders are from First Lieutenant Hawkeye, Sir," the woman continued, unimpressed that the man in front of her had personal plans for the evening. Mustang looked at her sharply. "She asked to be called should I encounter any problems."

"She said she would cancel her shooting practice at the range to come over here." Denny added and all three of them knew that the woman would still get her _practice_. Just not at the _shooting range_. And she would be particularly angry at being called away from her beloved range.

Growling, Roy knew this was payback for his extended lunch break. He stared at the paperwork like it was the most disgusting thing on the earth. Stacks like these made him question just why he hadn´t chosen a different profession. Assassin maybe. Assassinating Bradley would have done the country a lot of good, and would certainly have involved less deskwork. Probably paid better too. Unfortunately, killing one idiot Führer after another would never solve Amestris' problems. No, deeper changes had to be made, and that could only be done from within.

"I should have stayed in the Briggs mountains," the Colonel grumbled.

Lieutenant Brosh actually chuckled.

"But then we could never hope to see the miniskirts again when they become part of the standard uniform, Sir." It was a poor attempt to cheer Roy up. Actually, considering the situation, it was a shitty one too. And from the look his partner sent him, Brosh would have gotten an elbow into his ribs if it weren´t for the files Ross was carrying. But somehow Roy doubted it was because she felt any sympathy for his situation.

"Leather pants." Roy muttered, watching the huge stacks being placed on his desk next to the unfinished ones. At this rate, he would have to stay late into the night. Damn.

"Sir?" Denny Brosh asked, clearly wondering if he heard the Colonel right.

"I said 'leather pants', Lieutenant." The Colonel repeated himself. Despite his misery, Roy felt himself leering when he thought about the display he had been able to enjoy at lunch. "As part of the standard uniform." Both Brosh and Ross stared at him, and he added. "For the males."

Roy still wasn't completely comfortable with Maes' idea of getting Edward to rejoin the military, but if he did support it, he would make sure that particular dress code would apply to consultants as well.

When what Roy was suggesting finally sank in, Brosh let out a horrified sound and his jaw went slack. Maria Ross' eyes were wide, and Roy could literally see the memory of Ed's ass back in the reception hall running through her mind. Then she blushed and cleared her throat.

And picked up one of the stacks.

What the…?

She shoved the large stack of papers into her partner's arms, while she explained. "Actually, I think Colonel Egal down the hall is authorized to sign off on these files as well. I´m sure Lieutenant Hawkeye won´t mind two people working on them. The paperwork gets done faster that way. "

Roy was speechless. All he could do was sit there and stare. They were actually gathering up unfinished paperwork. They were going to carry out of his office and annoy someone else with it.

Denny Brosh was not moving, so his partner pushed him in the direction of the door.

Roy looked at their backs, then at the second stack they had left. "Take this as well." He was not about to look a gift horse in the mouth – but that didn´t mean he couldn´t try and get more out of it. Audacity could get you a lot of things and it definitely was worth a try.

"We are very supportive of your goals, Sir," Maria Ross said apologetically, "but not suicidal. Leaving paperwork for you was Lieutenant Hawkeye's order. And we have done so." Then they left the office.

Well, that actually made sense. No point in supporting the new dress code if you never got to enjoy seeing it. At least it was one less stack. Roy stared at the paperwork.

Somehow, the situation felt surreal.

Roy finally decided that he should have discovered his sexual interest in males much sooner.

* * *

One and a half hours after the official end of his work day, Roy leaned back from his desk and groaned. He knew it was impossible, but he still would be willing to swear on his life that the papers were breeding. There was simply no other explanation. Well, admittedly, he had spent quite a bit of time thinking about what had happened on this desk earlier that day. In fact, every time he placed a folder on the pile of finished documents, he stared for a moment at the blank surface of his desk. Where Ed had been sitting, with Roy between his legs. Where the blond had lay on his back wanting him to… Roy groaned. Damn his ego. The whole scenario had to come back and bite him in his ass.

Thinking about where to take Ed on their date tomorrow probably took a tiny part in his slow progress as well, but at least he had decided on a location. He was quite curious to discover what the blond would think of his plans.

Feeling the need to move, Roy stood up to open the window. Fresh, cool air swept into the room as he gazed outside. He could see twilight approaching, thought the sinking sun was hidden from his view by the surrounding high buildings.

The decision on where to take Ed had been more or less spontaneous. It was certainly not a place Roy would have taken most of his dates, and he knew that no matter who he might take there, they wouldn´t react the way Edward would. Roy also looked eagerly forward to getting Edward accustomed to public displays of affection. Roy wasn't foolish enough to attempt to publicly molest the younger man - he didn´t think he would survive that. But it would be fun to see how Edward dealt with everything Roy could come up with to 'out' them without being too obvious. The Colonel had no desire to hold back from showing off his soon to be lover.

He really couldn´t wait.

"Shouldn´t you be working, Sir?"

Roy barely managed to suppress his flinch, then turned around to see Riza Hawkeye standing behind him. He hadn´t even noticed her coming in, or stepping up so close behind him. The disapproving frown on the First Lieutenant's face was a clear sign that she was aware of that, too. But there was something else in her expression. Careful scrutiny. The Hawk was staring at her superior as if she wanted to read his every thought.

"Just getting some fresh air," he replied. She didn´t answer, but one blond eyebrow arched up.

The Colonel sighed and returned to his desk.

"Shouldn´t you have left the office already, Lieutenant?" he wanted to know as he took his seat. When he didn´t receive an answer, he grimaced. Obviously, she wanted to verify that Ross had followed her order. Sourly, he picked up a file off the unfinished stack. Hawkeye's silent company slowly began to unnerve him and when he looked up questioningly, he found her still observing him in that same, considering way.

"What were you thinking about just now, Roy?"

The sudden change from title to first name was a little disconcerting, and possibly the reason why he answered honestly, albeit vaguely.

"If you really want to know, I have a date tomorrow." He expected another disapproving glare, and perhaps a reprimand that he should take care of his work before his love life. Instead, she took a seat in the couch.

"I assume it´s Ed you've asked out?"

This really was irritating. "Why? Do you and Hughes want to send another spy?" The bet was his first and doubtless best guess to explain Hawkeye's odd behavior. Strangely enough, he could see the corner of her mouth lifting slightly.

"Why did you do it?" she asked quietly.

"Why did I do what?" He had expected her to ask for the location, not the reason.

"Ask him out."

Of course he sent her a smirk. "I´m sure you are aware of the procedure, Lieutenant," the Colonel said, stalling for more time to figure out her motives.

"Sir, I am aware of _your_ procedure, though it's not identical to mine. Not all of us use dates exclusively as a prelude to sexual intercourse." She leaned forward. "So, why do you want to date Edward? The bet is still on, so it´s not for sex."

Roy chose not to grace her with an answer. Both of them knew he was determined to win the bet. Hawkeye stared a few more seconds at him and then leaned back against the couch cushions.

"You are aware that this could be interpreted as you're having other interests in Edward than just sexual ones?"

"I _do_ have other interests in him than just sexual ones," Roy replied casually.

It was nice to see that even Hawkeye could lose her stoic face. The Colonel smiled.

"He´s an exceptional alchemist and his opinion is very beneficial for my research," he clarified, the smile turning into a smirk.

Now the woman glared at him. "You don´t date research partners either, Sir," she said, her voice having lost the warmth it had before.

Roy sighed and no longer tried to pretend to work. He let the pen drop on the desk and ran his fingers through the dark strands. "I know," he said with a groan. He would have preferred not to think about this.

"Then why are you dating him?" Riza asked, her voice softening now that he had finally given in and was no longer fighting the discussion. "I can´t see you deliberately leading him on."

"I´m not," he instantly insisted, and surprisingly, he didn´t feel any guilt about his behavior. He had expected his conscience to nag him about giving Ed false impressions, but now he wasn't even sure what his _true_ intentions were anymore. "I just..." he hesitated for a moment. Riza was, after all, betting against him. But she was also a trusted friend, and at that moment, she didn´t appear to be fishing for ammunition. "I just want to date him," he said.

"You want to spend some time with him." Riza breathed.

At her awed look, Roy just shrugged and dropped his gaze to the file in front of him. He could feel his cheeks heating up, for no apparent reason. This was not that big a deal. He dated all the time.

The Colonel stared at the printed page for a few moments before Riza spoke again.

"So, where are you taking him?" the woman wanted to know, and Roy looked up. For once, she had let down her professional mask and he could see the frank curiosity.

"I'm still planning." he said, although he already knew where he wanted to take the blond. "Someplace casual. Nothing too fancy. Ed won´t be comfortable if it's somewhere expensive and stiff. A place with good desserts." Most of Roy's dates actually went for tiny desserts, if any, so he usually didn´t pay much attention to that. "And good wine." Oh, good wine was definitely a must. Roy looked forward to walking a tipsy and relaxed Ed home.

"Roy, you´re spacing out," Riza informed him, and he blinked when he remembered that the woman was present. She stood up. "Go home," she told him.

"Lieutenant?" He stared at her. Did she really just tell him to leave? He looked at the unfinished mountains of paperwork. Then at the female officer.

"You're far too tired to complete these reports properly, Sir," she said, her tone screaming 'excuse' like a pink crop top combined with a pale violet silk scarf on a man screamed 'gay'.

What the-? Maybe this was not really happening. First Ross and Brosh had carried unfinished paperwork out of his office, and now Riza Hawkeye was telling him to leave the rest of it unfinished and go home? It wasn´t even midnight! The Hawk had never had any qualms about making him pull all-nighters to get the paperwork finished. And now she was giving him a pathetic excuse to leave? He had to be dreaming. He had returned from Doctor Stern's office and fallen asleep at his desk. That had to be it.

"And I believe you have a date to plan as well, Sir." The amusement in Riza's voice came as close to an actual laugh as Roy had ever heard from her in the office.

Well, if this was a dream, he might as well take advantage of it and end the paperwork nightmare. Maybe he should hit on Riza? He was curious to see what his subconscious would come up with for her reaction. One look at her face, however, and he knew that even in his dreams, he would never dare to hit on Riza Hawkeye.

But he sure as hell dared to leave the damn paperwork in a hurry.

It still felt strange when he wished her a goodnight and all she did was return it and leave.

* * *

Day 20

Unfortunately, the start of the next day was awful at best. Roy's subconscious, seemingly his ally yesterday, turned on him almost as soon as his face hit the pillow that night.

The night was… chaotic, to put it mildly. Roy woke up more than a few times during the night aroused and erected, and each time it took him longer to fight down the hold his half remembered dreams had on him. Dreams that were a constant shifting of scene and situation, leaving him with only the impressions of what his mind pulled out for him. Hot bodies, soft lips. Male, female. He could feel hands stroking his body, could hear the shuddering breath in his ear, the moans. Women screaming, manly groaning. Soft hands with long nails, rough hands with strong grips. He recognized them as past encounters, knowing that he had slept with two men as well as uncountable women. Faint images, sounds, smells, tastes he barely recalled. He dreamed of sex in its rawest form.

The first time he woke up, his body felt hot and restless. He lay back and ruthlessly willed it away, finally falling back to sleep.

To eager kisses, glimpses of a tanned man with brown-green eyes who tasted of alcohol and smiled in satisfaction as he pushed Roy against a door. Military shirt open, his cadet jacket nowhere to be seen, the dark haired man laughed breathlessly when his neck was attacked and Roy's hand slipped into his open pants. A lust roughened voice claiming to have known Roy was not as straight as he claimed, words interrupted by a moan as Roy gripped his prize. The groan as the man arched up and buried his fingers in Roy's hair.

Roy woke again with a slight erection, arousal pulsing through his body. But it was all right, he was used to that by now. He knew how to relax himself. He did. Sleep returned.

Blond hair fanned on his desk. Golden eyes dark with desire. Mismatched hands on his back as Ed tried to thrust up. Suppressed moans and passionate kisses. Strong, leather clad thighs pressed against his hips suddenly naked, Roy's hands buried in a soft bath robe, his lips tasting wet skin, hot breath panting against his throat.

Roy woke this time with a tent in his pajamas and frustration building up inside him. He tried to calm himself, but it wasn´t easy. He closed his eyes and took deep, even breaths. Roy didn´t even notice when he fell back asleep.

And his hands were bound over his head by transmuted clothes, hair tickling his chest as the younger man kissed his way down his body, getting closer to where his lips were so desperately needed.

Brown-green eyes, glazed over from alcohol. A hand slipping into Roy's pants, the man's lips drawing into a smirk at what he found there.

"Let´s go," he said, voice rough. Roy took another swig from the bottle before he pulled the man down. The brunette kissed like air was not needed, the hand on Roy's dick stroking him to willingness. His cock didn´t give a damn that this was a man. His wasted brain didn´t either. When Roy rolled to his knees and tried to get up, the hand slipped out of his open trousers. Not for long. A strong body pressed against him from behind, and bottles were knocked from the low table Roy leaned into, hands searching for something, anything he could grip.

Her boss had entrusted her to close the café at the end of her shift, and she did. She locked the door and turned the small sign around, informing every potential customer that the café was closed. Then she came to the table at the far end where no one would see them from the window and straddled his lap. As he kissed her, his hand stroked over her thigh and underneath the miniskirt she wore as part of her waitress uniform. He really loved those.

The man had to help him keep his balance as they walked into the dormitory. Neither Roy's fly nor the button on his pants was closed, and he couldn´t have cared less as long as his trousers were not falling down to hinder walking. If they did, he knew he was in no condition to get them up again, and would probably ravish the other man right there on the floor. The other cadet's jacket was abandoned somewhere on the stairs between the first and the second floor. All the time, hands roamed over his body.

The woman moaned as she moved on top of him. His hands were on her hips, pressing her down forcefully each time she moved up and she willingly followed his lead. Her slender hands were on her own body, keeping her breasts from bouncing as she moved up and down. Each time her weight settled against him, the hot tightness of her body wrapped around his aching member made the lust almost unbearable, clouding his senses. She let go of her breasts and her hands gripped his arms, as if she needed something to hold onto. Throwing her head back, she moaned loudly and her movements became rushed, urgent. So close.

"Don´t stop!" That voice was hoarse, deep, and the man groaned as his fist hit the door he was leaning back against. He was flexing, arching against Roy, sweating and trembling.

Roy's hands were wrapped around strong, broad shoulders. A hand firmly gripped his hip. His face pressed into dark hair, his nose filled with the heady scent of musk, and he could feel warm breath and fleeting kisses ghosting along his shoulder. Roy didn´t care about anything. The only thing important right now was moving. Each time, he tried to take the man's dick as deep into his body as he could. It was hot and thick and hard and the feeling of another man's erection inside of him was so fucking, mind blowingly _good_. Oh yes, the pain was still there but it was no longer important, it was drowned in waves of pleasure whenever the man's aroused member pushed into his body. Roy didn´t know if he was breathing anymore. He didn´t know if he made any sounds and he didn´t notice the scratches he left on the other man's shoulders and neck.

God, so close. So _close_. He needed just a little bit more. Roy moaned, tried to move faster and felt like whining when his body started to tremble, unable to comprehend. He could feel lips on his own, just for a moment and then the other man moaned his name and whispered something against Roy's ear. Roy didn´t pay any attention to it, he didn´t care. His body was still denying him relief and every bit of him felt like taunt piano wire, thrumming with every touch and oh fucking god, so close. He felt like sobbing when his body refused to move faster and his knees felt far too weak to support his body and didn´t allow him to ride the man below him like he really wanted to.

Arching his back, he moaned out the man's name. The next moment, Roy found himself on his back, next to the table he had been bent over before their change of positions, and although it felt like forever, it didn´t take long before the other man's dick was a solid presence pounding into his body again.

Fuck. _Yes_.

Throwing his head back, he cried out as the demanding thrusts brought him to the brink of orgasm. The man on top of him began to move faster, faster, just as close to relief he was and he was… _fuck_.

He lost all senses of where he was and what he was doing. When he opened his eyes, he did not understand why he was alone and staring at the ceiling, and just why he had not come yet when clearly, he had been about to.

And why the fuck was there an erection in his pajamas. A very demanding one. Aching and pulsing painfully with need. Grimacing slightly, Roy let his hand slip beneath the blanket and into his pajamas. He cursed himself for waking up and being forced to rely on masturbation instead of savoring the whole dream. He would have preferred to wake up in sticky pajamas, embarrassed over the first wet dream he'd had since he left puberty behind. Unfortunately, he had woken up unfulfilled, and still had a demanding boner. And no one except himself to take care of it. Damn.

Closing his eyes, Roy tried to recall his dream as he started to stroke himself. Tried to remember those hands, those lips. His fingers wrapped around his erection and moved while his mind drifted off to what he remembered from his dreams. The need. The lust. The feel of another man inside of him. He knew this was far from what he might have imagined two weeks ago during a jerk off. But right now, he didn't give a damn. Right now, this worked for him.

Much faster than usual when doing this to himself, he could feel himself getting into it.

Until he recalled the images, the memories, his dream had drawn out. Including just what the man had said to him.

Roy stopped and frowned disturbed. Just great. A damn love confession. It figured that he had to pick up a guy who spouted lines like that during sex. It happened from time to time in the heat of the moment. Roy knew it never meant a thing. Not for the women and not for Roy. And certainly not for the stranger his younger self had taken into his bed… well, into his room. Still, it was a damn turnoff, something he didn´t want to hear from someone he slept with just for the sake of sleeping with them. Roy usually ignored it. Just like he would now.

Except, he couldn´t. Because the rest of that memory slowly filled in the blanks, and Roy knew his theory might be wrong. The moment he remembered the name that came out of his own mouth, he knew that this particular pickup had not been as random as he had believed it to be.

And then everything inside of him cringed at the realization that maybe that particular confession had not been based on lust and overflowing hormones.

Roy could not decide what was worse.

The thought that maybe the declaration of love had been a serious one.

Or the realization that he had slept with his best friend.

* * *

Whew, that particular bomb has been stored and hinted at for quite some time ._. I did contemplate running away after this cliffhanger, but considered my recent absence, I decided against it ^^°

Please let me know what you think ^^

**Tbc.**

* * *

**Review-replies non-members:**

Foolonthehill: And once again you had to wait u.u I hope it was at least worth a bit of that time ^^° Thank you for the review :D I liked it very much. It´s heartening to read that UST-tortured Roy has not become boring and that you like Ed :D

Elriclover96: Thank you *hugs* Next chapter won´t take that long again ._. I promise.


	33. Past and Present

**Beta&Co-Author**: Ca11iope. I really don´t deserve you... doesn´t mean I don´t want to keep you however ^.~

* * *

**Chapter 32: Past and Present**

Still Day 20

That wasn't some messed up hallucination. It was an actual memory.

Roy Mustang had slept with Maes Hughes.

He had.

Okay, fine. It happened.

Having sex with ones best friend was not something Roy thought of as appropriate when one didn´t want to risk that friendship. Roy Mustang, while being popular, only counted a very select group of people as trusted friends. Bringing sex into it made things complicated in a way he did not appreciate. But as long as his sexual encounters were just about sex, and both partners were aware of that and could deal with it without hurt feelings, jealousy, or other such mood killers, it was... fine. Not optimal, but fine.

But this ...

He had slept with Hughes – and his alcohol wasted brain cells had blanked it out. Until now.

Well, that was…. unfortunate. At best. But hey, Maes had been drunk as well, and … it happened. Nothing much to say about that.

Hughes had not told him.

Roy could only speculate about this. Perhaps Maes had been too drunk to remember, just as Roy had been. Or maybe he remembered all too well.

Maes had said that he loved Roy.

Roy fervently hoped that Maes had said that because he had not been thinking straight, under the influence and in the heat of the moment.

Was this really such a big deal? It hadn't affected their friendship, and Roy wasn't about to let something that happened years ago mess up that close relationship. Was he?

Oh hell, who was he kidding? Did he really think he could lie to himself?

Roy was not the kind of person to run away from his problems or hide from the truth, though right now he wished he was. Fucked up didn´t even come close to describing this situation. This was going to prey on his already stressed out mind until he resolved it. He was going to have to hash this out with Maes, or it would color every future interaction he had with the man. Still, the last thing he wanted to do right now was to deal with this along with everything else. And to top it all off, Roy had no idea how he felt about it. Especially that 'I love you' he had heard. From his best friend. During sex.

God, this had to be a nightmare.

Roy greatly hoped that his friend had not meant those breathlessly whispered words. A tiny voice in his brain mocked him. Told him how unlikely that was. Roy knew how sensitive and emotional Hughes was. He knew how dearly the man held the people closest to him. He knew there was a very good possibility that his best friend had meant it.

And then had neglected to fill Roy in on the fact that they had slept with each other. The alchemist cursed mentally. Fucking coward. The man hadn´t even had the balls to tell that him that Maes himself was the one Roy had slept with. Roy shuddered to think about the details. Or rather, the roles. This was not a can of worms he planned to open anytime soon.

Then Roy remembered the way he had ranted to his closest friend about the unknown man he had blamed for his … difficulty walking. Damn, he remembered how sore he had been for days, and Roy had constantly and eloquently cursed that nameless stranger for inflicting such agony on him, thinking that it had been some anonymous one night stand. Now that he knew differently Roy had to admit he had acted like an asshole. His words had not been pretty. Mustang stared at the ceiling and wondered how much his behavior had hurt his friend. No wonder Maes hadn't dared to tell Roy the truth. And what if that confession had been sincere?

…. This was just so screwed up.

Maes obviously had no desire to mention it ever again. So why should Roy?

It was the past, it was over. It did not have any influenced on their friendship… did it?

Instantly, Roy found himself reexamining his friend's past actions, trying to see things from this new perspective.

Too much. Too many years.

He shouldn´t do this. They´d been through so much together, had been friends for so long. Even the thought of questioning Hughes about it caused Roy's stomach flare up with guilt. He shouldn´t do this. He really shouldn´t do this. It would be a mistake to let this taint his entire friendship with Maes, past, present, and future, after all they had been through. Mustang trusted the man with his life.

And Hughes was married for god's sake! It was clear the man loved his wife and daughter deeply. The past… was just that. Past.

Roy head spun, and he couldn´t tell if all these rationalizations were just his own mind betraying him, if he really thought he should let it slide because that was the right thing to do, or because that would be the easiest way out. Still, he couldn´t help but wonder about too many things. Most of all, about why had the man not told him.

Maybe Roy's best friend didn´t deem it necessary to clear the air on the subject.

Roy did. They needed to talk. Even if it was just to assure himself that things were no different than before, he needed to clear this up.

* * *

Afterwards, Roy didn't know how he managed to fall asleep again. Or maybe he did. Despite the huge load of trouble heading his way, the decision to talk to Maes somehow managed to calm him down. Setting a course for his actions was reassuring, and he felt a whole lot more like himself again instead of someone who was losing his head.

He was also determined not to let this get in the way. Fine, he and Maes had a few things to sort out, but both of them were adults, and friends, and they should be able to act that way. There was still a feeling of dread, accompanied by a small malicious voice in his head telling him that it wouldn´t be that easy. But Roy was hell bent not to let doubt get in his way either.

When he woke up again, it was midday.

Breakfast: skipped.

Grocery shopping: skipped. He would order take out if necessary. For the evening, dinner was planned with Ed, so he should be fine.

A quick lunch consisted of coffee and some dry toast. After which Roy was still hungry. Oh hell, they could buy something on the way. Even if Ed had already eaten, his stomach was a bottomless pit, so he wouldn´t complain.

Roy had plenty of time to prepare for his date. Or so he thought. Then he discovered that looking into his wardrobe was … disturbing. Really, how the hell had his clothes managed to become unsuitable overnight? Somehow nothing he picked out satisfied him today. It definitely took him too long to decide what to wear. And he had to ignore the irritating feeling that he needed a second opinion to confirm that his choices had been right.

This was ridiculous. Roy wasn't some prepubescent teenager. This was not his first date and it surely wouldn´t be his last. Why the hell was he acting like this? He realized that he was putting far more effort into this date than he usually did. Why? It had to be because he was determined to concentrate on the present, not the past. He did not want to screw up this date because he was dwelling on something that happened years ago, so he was being extra careful. Yes, that was it.

For some reason, Roy felt like an idiot when he convinced himself that this was indeed the reason for his behavior.

* * *

Roy didn´t ask anyone to advise him on his clothes and finally had managed to convince himself that he didn´t need to. Really, he had been on enough dates. He was sure that his fashion sense had not died overnight.

The moment he saw Edward however, Roy knew the younger man likely _had_ been advised on his appearance. The older man felt almost flattered over the fact that the blond had wanted to look good for him, enough to consult someone else for their opinion. And they had done a good job of it. That person, whoever it was, had managed to get the blond out of the house in a deep red turtleneck sweater over black slacks, and best of all, without his hair tied back. Mustang could not remember when he had last seen the man with his hair down in public. Probably never. Roy wanted to run his finger through the gold strands, maybe give them a slight pull to get Ed to tilt his head back so he could properly greet him with a kiss.

And with a great deal of satisfaction, he noticed the hickeys peeking out of the turtleneck as Edward passed him to proceed down the stairs. The dark red cotton did not quite cover the marks completely and the hair was too loose to really hide them. Roy felt his lips form a smug grin. And who the hell said he couldn´t kiss Edward as a greeting?

His intentions must have been visible and Roy stopped himself when he saw the younger man tensing up. Small steps. Roy had to remind himself that slow progress was in order. He did not care for another fist in the face. Now, the challenge was to make the steps small enough not to awaken any violent reaction in Edward while still making progress.

Piece of cake.

A possibly bloody cake with a black eye, but still a cake. He was an expert at this… more or less. Public displays of affection were not _exactly_ Roy's forte, but flirting was, and so was hitting on someone. It was close enough. He was sure he would be able to adjust the details. He just had to expand on the flirting bit and tune down the obvious sexual intentions.

Instantly, the accusations he heard more than once came to his mind. That he was sending Ed the wrong signals, giving him the wrong impression – leading him on.

Sighing inwardly, Roy wondered just why everything he did, even the things that should be pure habit for him, now came with a hitch. Why he had to second guess everything, even the things that were usually routine for him.

"You coming?" The blond asked when he turned around to look for him, clearly oblivious to the brooding inside his date's mind.

Waiting for him to catch up and without a clue as to where Roy would take him. But still willing to come along.

The Colonel smiled.

Somehow, things didn´t seem that bad anymore.

* * *

Ed looked positively flabbergasted.

"Art?" he asked, and took a second look at the banner handing over the museum's entrance as if to confirm what he had read there. Then he looked back to his date, and the moment the blond eyebrows drew together, Roy knew it was time to interrupt the man's thoughts.

"I´m not taking you to an art exhibition because of your lack of cultural sense," he quickly assured his date.

Ed blinked before resuming his glare. The jab was not well hidden and Roy smirked. He could see the other alchemist deliberating whether he should get back at him for insulting his taste or ask why Roy had brought him here.

Placing his hand on Ed's back, the Colonel urged the other alchemist forward and into the building.

"I brought you here because I think you will enjoy it," the older man explained. "These exhibitions are quite special as I´m sure you will find out yourself. "

Ed didn´t look convinced as he took in the surroundings. Which, at the moment, were bare of the promised art. The exhibition was taking place in the West Wing of the old mansion, but the building was still impressive in itself.

The black haired man smiled when he was able to pinpoint the exact moment when Ed noticed that Roy had yet to take his hand from his back. And that it had slipped a few inches downwards, leaving the 'a friend pushing you in the right direction' position and moving to a place where it could arouse the question of whether they were more than just friends.

Considering the fact that Edward most likely didn´t want to attract attention to this, the blond did the smartest and most inconspicuous thing by simply picking up the pace. By now however, the younger man's once surprising talent at keeping his reactions low-key was anticipated. So instead of letting his hand fall from Ed's back like the younger alchemist probably hoped, Roy did the exact opposite and hurried to wrap his arm around the young man's waist. Only to guide him in the right direction of course.

"This way." Steering Ed to the left, Roy added a charming smile when he received a frown for his efforts. Instead of reacting to it, he tried to keep his expression as innocent as that of a baby. Really, Ed couldn´t possibly suspect him of taking advantage of the fact that the blond clearly didn´t know his way around the building, could he?

Ed could. And did. It took all of Roy's willpower to not smirk at his companion's half angry and half confused expression. The smile slipped when he felt Ed tensing up.

He noticed the stares just a moment later.

An elderly couple were trying and failing miserably not to be noticed as they gawked at the two alchemists. Another man openly stared at them. Roy also noticed a pair of women sending sneaking glances their way.

What the….?

Most of them probably didn´t even disapprove, but that fact alone gave him pause. That he had to speculate about that… it was not something the Colonel was used to. And he was pretty sure that the middle aged couple by the grand staircase objected to Roy's display judging from the way they were all but glaring.

Instead of showing his own disapproval at these reactions to something as miniscule as having his arm around Ed's waist, the Colonel plastered a pleased and relaxed smile on his face, tightening his grip around the younger man before letting go. Not for the sake of the people around him, but to remain true to his plan. Small steps. He couldn´t care less about other people´s opinion of his private life. In fact, if it weren´t for Ed's reaction to that kiss in the hall, he would have loved to show off a bit.

But as it was right now, he needed Ed relaxed … and distracted.

"What the -" Edward stopped short beside him and took in his surroundings.

Well, the good news was, the distraction was working perfectly.

The bad news was, the distraction was working perfectly.

The moment Ed spotted the arrays, Roy saw that calculating glimmer lighting his eyes. The blond completely forgot that Roy Mustang was standing beside him, and leaned in to examine the artistically rendered transmutation circle on the large canvas before him.

The Colonel felt slightly piqued.

But he would not be who he was if he didn´t use it to his advantage. So his hand returned to Ed's no longer rigid back, and just as Roy expected, the young man didn´t even notice.

While it was exactly what he had intended, Roy had the sudden urge to pout. Which of course he didn´t do.

"This wouldn't work," Ed stated quietly. It was more a mutter and most likely not even intended to slip past his lips. The Colonel glanced down at his date, then at the painting. Even an amateur would have seen it. After all, part of the array was covered with artistic smears of green and red and what appeared to be alchemic symbols. Appeared to be, but weren't.

"It´s not intended to work," Roy answered.

"Why would anyone ruin a transmutation circle this way?" Obviously Ed had no appreciation for the artistic part of the painting.

"I imagine selling a functional array on canvas could cause trouble," Roy pointed out, amused over the fact that the genius beside him was struggling to pull the concepts of art and alchemy together without the second being used strictly to create the first. In fact, for this exhibition it was the other way around. "And before you argue about why anyone would put an array on a canvas in the first place without ever intending for it to work -" Roy quickly interrupted the moment Ed opened his mouth to protest. "- have you ever wondered why a salamander represents fire? Or why runes, which basically are just a composition of lines, curves and dots, can even _be_ activated? Why energy can be guided with something as simple as a few carefully crafted geometric drawings?"

Ed's mouth shut and the calculating look was back.

"Of course I have," he muttered, appearing almost insulted by the question.

Rightfully so. An alchemist who did not question the origins of the science and never tried to look behind the arrays and hermetic symbols shouldn't even consider himself to be a true alchemist. There were of course a lot of people out there who simply _used_ alchemy, and yes, they did understand the mechanics of it. They knew what symbols to put where to achieve specific results. But rarely did any of those alchemists let their minds wander to the real, most basic point of the science, the rudimentary foundations. Which was almost ridiculous considering the power being channeled. It was obvious if one looked at the most simple arrays. Curves and lines. That´s it. Somehow able to change a natural object's essential structure.

"Huh." Ed huffed and Roy could see the calculating look reappearing on that lovely face while he obviously tried to figure out what a dysfunctional piece of art had to do with that.

"I sure I don't have to mention the regional and cultural influence on the historical development transmutation circles…" The Colonel trailed off. Both of them were very familiar with the literature. "It´s clear that at some point, the intentions of the designer exert influence on the power and potential of the array. Contrary to that stands the fact that transmutations don´t simply activate because the alchemist wishes it, or because he believes in the symbolism as a representative of a specific element." Roy loved to discuss alchemical epistemology, and if there was one person in the world Roy wanted to talk about this topic with, it was Ed, and not only because the man had seen the truth. Even disregarding his unpleasant encounter with that otherworldly being, Ed was a prodigy. And Roy could already see the urge to discuss this within his golden eyes.

But if they did, they wouldn´t get through the exhibition today. And even though chances were slim that someone here would be able to follow their conversation, it was still better to discuss alchemy with this man in private.

"And while I'd love to talk theoretical alchemy and the underlying hermetic philosophy associated with its symbolism, we should probably save that conversation for dinner," Roy said. "The point is, most of these artists are not alchemist. In fact, the majority probably only know the basics."

The Colonel could not interpret the expression on Edward's face, but he could feel the tension returning to the smaller body. Instantly, Roy's hand followed the spine down and up again in a soothing gesture.

"They are aware of the risks," the older man explained. "I'm sure you've noticed that none of the circles are closed. If by some chance the artist has used a functional configuration, they can't be activated accidently." The Colonel barely suppressed a chuckle. "This is actually the sixth exhibition of its kind. The Führer assembled a team of State Alchemists to act as advisors for the first exhibition, lecturing the artists and the gallery manager and pretty much everybody else involved on safety and other matters." Roy sent an amused glance down to the slowly relaxing blond. "That´s how I originally found out about these exhibitions. Now, try for a moment to imagine a bunch of State Alchemist, men and women at the top of their field, speaking about their profession to a group of artists who knew next to nothing about alchemy."

There! A tiny little smile was tugging at the corner of Ed's lips. And the young man had finally relaxed again. Roy once again took advantage of the situation and leaned down, pretending a need to keep the conversation private. "I will never forget the face of the poor soul who was lectured by Basque Grand. I don´t think the man ever recovered. I heard later that the young man wasn´t even part of the project. The gallery's manager was aware of Grand's negative attitude towards the project and his reputation as a very ... difficult man to deal with. The main artist on the project had some kind of phobia about Grand's moustache as well. The manager was terrified that his pet-project might die because his artist didn´t dare to draw a circle after talking to the man. So he set up some random scapegoat for Grand's anger."

"Can´t see why anyone would be scared of him, and that mustache just looked stupid." Ed muttered. "Did Grand really think it looked good, or was he trying to grow another weapon to impale people with?"

It figured. Edward Elric never held any respect for people like Grand. Nonetheless, Roy couldn´t help but agree, so he nodded.

"No one would ever tell him that to his face." One look down at the blond and Mustang corrected. "Except for you." In fact, he was absolutely sure Ed would have no qualms about insulting Grand and his mustache up close and personal. Unlike most people, the Fullmetal Alchemist had never been impressed with the reasons why others feared Grand.

"A lot of people feared him for his alchemy," Roy added almost reluctantly. Alchemy was not supposed to be something people should fear because it was an easy way to kill, but Roy had no right to judge Grand when his own alchemy had been used for just that purpose during the war. The title of Flame Alchemist could still easily evoke that same fear.

"It wasn´t _that_ impressive," Ed huffed, and the Colonel managed to shake off the disturbing thoughts while he lifted one eyebrow. Oh yes, one could say whatever they wanted about Basque Grand, but his alchemy had been brilliant in its own twisted way.

The blond must have seen his doubts, because he huffed again and turned towards the next picture.

"He was fixated." The younger alchemist started to explain. "Sure, what he did was highly advanced alchemy, but it was… _just_ _that_." Ed shrugged and looked towards the Colonel, expecting the man to understand, and Roy found himself wondering over the fact that his companion's vague statement actually _was_ understood.

Because Ed was right. Despite all the talent Grand had to have in order to get where he had been, when it came to alchemy, all he could do was kill. Looking at it like that, every run of the mill alchemist could do much more.

"I wonder what you thought of me, then," Roy wondered. After all, like Basque Grand, Mustang had been famous for his specialization in one particular brand of alchemy. How was the Flame Alchemist different from the Iron Blood Alchemist, if he was at all?

"Huh? You wanna know what I thought of you back then?" Ed turned from his scrutiny of the canvas in front of them and shifted to look Roy in the face.

Roy nodded. "That day. At the train station. The day we first met in Central."

And Roy found that he couldn´t help but brace himself for the answer. If Ed had such a low opinion of Grand's alchemy back then, what had the prodigy thought of _him_? He remembered the nervously stuttering boy on the phone, before the blond had seen the mighty Flame Alchemist in action. And to be honest, Roy always suspected that his teenage subordinate had found him to be badass, or cool, or something the like that. What teenager or child wouldn't be impressed by someone who had given such a flashy display of superiority? The Colonel really wanted to know what Ed's first impression had been. But at the same time Roy knew he would gladly forgo getting this answer if Ed would answer his question in regards to the present and not the past. If Ed would give Roy his honest opinion of what he thought of him _now_.

That, however, would have to wait for another day.

Ed tilted his head a bit to the side, observing him. Then he turned back to the picture, trying to suppress a smirk, knowing what he was about to say would be quite a jab to the Flame Alchemists ego.

"Actually… I wanted to see your gloves. I didn't pay much attention to you at all," he admitted sheepishly.

**Tbc.**

* * *

I know it´s short ;_; But at least, it´s also fast! (Now, just who does that remind me of? ;-P)

* * *

**Replies to not (logged in) members: **

Guest: Maybe that will teach him to keep his hands from self-transmuted alcohol :D Thank you for the review ^^

Lorelai: I´m happy to be back :D And yes, this time the chapter is up much sooner ^^ I´m happy to hear you didn´t see this coming, as I think surprises keep the story interesting :D And oh yes, there will be some spice ^^° But also a few other flavors :D Thank you for the review and being interested so much in this fic ^^ I´ll do my best to avoid another huge break again anytime soon!

Shane : Maybe it would. But if you were in Roy`s shoes, could you? As for Hughes trying to break up our lovely two alchemists or Roy throwing anything away and your bad feeling… Sorry, can´t tell you much without spoilering you :X But I can assure you, this relevation will have a few consequences ^^

Kurokitsusan: There you are ^^ I´m nice to your poor heart. Not even a cliffhanger XD At least I don´t think it is one ^^° But I loved your review :D Way to express yourself ^.~


	34. Backstabbing

**A/N:** Now, some people surely might not be interested in reading what´s going on with the lack of updates (nothing life-threatening or worth abandoning fics), so I ´ll keep this simple.

If you want to know about status, fics or what´s going on these days, I´ll keep my ffnet profile up to date. Including the current status of the fics.

To make up for that huge wait, this chapter is longer than usually ^^° I know it´s not much, but enjoy!

**Beta&Co-Author:** Ca11iope, you are an amazing woman :D Seriously, you are ^^

* * *

**Chapter 33: Backstabbing**

Still Day 20

Roy didn´t know whether he should be amused or insulted. He settled on mildly annoyed.

Ed turned around and looked at him. "Oh, stop pouting," the blond told him.

Once again for the record: he was Roy Mustang, and therefore he did not pout. It just didn´t fit his image. Roy Mustang was not capable of that particular expression, and the mere suggestion that he was tipped his annoyance a wee bit over to the insulted end of the scale. The younger alchemist noticed, sighed, then bit his lip. He looked as if he desperately wanted to keep to himself what was about to spill from his lips, but in the end he was unable to.

"Well… I wasn´t paying much attention to anything _but_ your alchemy," Edward finally admitted before he turned briskly around.

Roy blinked. The statement wasn´t phrased that differently, but… slowly a smirk formed on his lips.

"That impressed, huh?" he asked in a teasing manner.

"Shut up, Bastard," the other alchemist grumbled. "I wouldn´t have mentioned it if you didn´t look so much like a damn puppy without a treat." Ed did a pretty impressive version of that puppy-pout himself when Roy wrapped an arm around his shoulders and leaned in.

"You were impressed. Not that I blame you; it´s perfectly understandable," Roy purred.

And maybe it was childish to tease Ed over his admission this way, but all of a sudden Roy felt almost giddy. If Ed had admitted to being impressed just to stop Roy from what the younger man considered to be pouting – not that it really _was_ pouting - then the other alchemist had definitely developed a soft spot for him. That just screamed for advantage to be taken.

"And you are acting stupid," Ed muttered, shoulder's twitching uncomfortably under Roy's arm, obviously regretting his statement.

"I can assure you, alchemy isn't the only area where I excel. I have other talents, equally impressive." Roy just couldn´t help it. Not that he was trying to.

A faint but noticeable blush appeared on Ed´s face.

"Yeah, you´re pretty impressive at acting like an idiot right now," the blond argued back. Then he hesitated for a moment. "Actually, that seems to be a skill you're _always_ practicing, so it´s no wonder you´re so good at it."

"Would you care to personally experience my other skills?" Roy was overdoing it, but it was fun. Even his tone was way over the top, and Roy could see the younger man's lips twitch slightly.

Beside them, a rather conservatively dressed woman shot them a disturbed glare, but Ed didn't notice as he shook his head, amused.

"What´s gotten into you, Mustang?" the man questioned, then his eyes widened as he caught the innuendo.

Roy couldn´t remember the last time he had felt this playful … hold on, he could. It had resulted in a thrown coffee cup putting a dent in his living room wall. "Whatever it is, it wouldn´t mind some company," the Colonel practically purred.

And he was delighted to have Ed's undivided attention when the blond turned again to face him. He was sure Ed wouldn´t kiss him, but Roy he could see the waggishness flicker in those unusual eyes. This was going to be fun.

A scandalized and hatefully whispered 'perverts' interrupted the playful flirting. Immediately the blond was tense again and turned back towards the picture he had been examining. The woman sent them a glare, stuck her nose into the air, and swept away, heels clacking angrily on the tiles.

Oh, damn it! Ed was all uptight again.

Still, it was only a minor setback. Roy decided that for this to work, he might have to resort to plan B: getting some alcohol into his date. True, he had originally planned to order wine at the restaurant, but Edward Elric was far too aware of his surroundings for Roy's liking. Far too conscious of any behavior that might give the impression that there was more than just friendship between the two men. Roy had to drop Ed's inhibition threshold a good bit.

He was sure he would be able to get a beer or two at the exhibition's café during their snack break.

* * *

When Maes stepped through his front door, he was greeted by his beautiful wife, his wonderful daughter, the mouthwatering smell of dinner – and a guest.

"Alphonse!" He greeted the surprise guest with an enthusiastic hug complete with manly backslapping. It had been a while since the young alchemist's last visit, and the blond had obviously been missed.

And judging by the way Elycia couldn´t keep her eyes off him, Al had been more than just missed by her. Mrs. Hughes sent knowing glances towards her husband and tried to carefully give him a hint. Unfortunately, he failed to recognize the major crush his daughter had on their guest, and still thought the affection to be sisterly. The older woman's smile turned slightly pained at her husband's obliviousness over the fact that it wouldn´t be long before they might have to explain the birds and the bees to their daughter. Or rather, Gracia would have to do it, as Maes most likely wouldn't be able to bear the thought that his sweet, innocent, adorable offspring was experiencing her first serious crush. Hopefully it would be a few years more before Gracia had to have 'the talk' with Elycia. And hopefully that would give her time to prepare her dear husband for his daughter's impending adolescence.

Gracia sighed, watching as Elycia tried to impress Alphonse with her recently acquired knowledge of alchemy. The girl had been pouring over every alchemy textbook she could find in a frustrating attempt to understand the basics, just so she could keep up in a conversation with him. But unlike Alphonse and his brother, Elycia was no child prodigy, and therefore was still far too young to understand such a complicated science. It was even more difficult considering that she had no real interest in the subject, beyond the possible teacher. Alphonse was kindly indulging the girl, gently correcting her misconceptions, and Gracia wondered if he realized where Elycia's true interests lay.

Maes certainly didn't. All the while he listened to the conversation, overwhelmed by his daughter's determination, her possible future as alchemist, her intelligence, and whatever else he read into her sudden decision to learn alchemy.

Not for the first time, Gracia wondered how such a seasoned investigator could so completely miss the obvious.

* * *

After the negative public reaction to the – in his opinion, really harmless – flirting, Roy had not been able to get past Ed's walls like that again. For quite some time after the encounter the blond seemed edgy and far from relaxed. Mustang did his best to unobtrusively maneuver slowly toward the little café in the mansions courtyard, where he was pretty sure they at least sold beer and wine.

And thankfully, Ed began to enjoy himself again when quite by accident they struck up a conversation with one of the resident artists. The young brunette, by Roy's practiced estimation a woman of average attractiveness, was anxiously observing the exhibition's visitors, staying nervously in the background.

At least until Edward Elric, passionate alchemist that he was, and never one to hold back his opinion, started to question and criticized her work. The expected catastrophe did not occur. Instead, thanks to god for insane people, the woman appeared delighted to debate Edward's points. No introductions were made so she had no idea just who she was talking to, but she was perfectly happy to defend her creations from an artistic standpoint. The bright eyed, widely smiling artist, while far from being a great beauty, was transformed by passionate discussion into quite an attractive female. And boy, the girl could argue.

With Ed.

And they managed it without major insults or foul language.

Roy should have been pleased. Ed was enjoying himself again, which was what Roy wanted. And Roy loved seeing Ed in one of his passionate rants. The problem was that Roy didn´t enjoy seeing Edward talking so keenly with a strange female when Roy himself couldn´t even give the man a damn kiss.

It shouldn't bother him. Roy was fairly certain that Ed had absolutely no interest in that woman. He was also pretty sure that the woman had no interest in Edward, beyond his professional opinion.

And Roy really should be pleased, since Ed was finally enjoying the exhibition.

Screw that.

After all, it was Roy's intention to make some progress with Ed in the public displays of affection department, and that's what he would do. If it earned him a smack on the fingers, fine. Roy Mustang was known for his ability to smooth-talk his way out of trouble. Still, he had to be careful. He would stake his claim on the blond, but his actions couldn´t be too heavy handed. The Colonel did not care if he got a little smack on his fingers, but a hit with an automail fist was definitely to be avoided. He needed to be subtle… or to make sure Ed didn't have the maneuvering room to lash out.

He stepped closer to the blond from behind and wrapped his arms around the man's waist. Placing his head on Ed´s shoulder required way too much stooping, so he leaned in a bit instead.

"Enjoying yourself…?" There was a strange pause hanging in the air and Roy had to bite his tongue to prevent himself from adding an endearment to the sentence. It felt strange. The urge to do it. It was nothing he usually did, yet the sentence felt suddenly incomplete. Roy blinked, wondering why such a thing would occur to him, or even matter.

Then he noticed the way the body in his arms had tensed up, and he knew that this was going to hurt.

The blond alchemist didn´t have time to do him any harm however, because the lady artist didn´t even so much as blink an eye at the possessive display. Instead, she appeared almost sheepish as she turned towards Roy.

"I´m sorry, your boyfriend and I have gotten into an argument. I didn´t mean to hold him up so long," she apologized.

Silence.

Oh, if his standards were a bit lower, Roy could have kissed her. He had finally found a tolerant someone with a few functioning brain cells who made absolutely no big deal about this. Finally. Someone who treated the possessive display of affection from one man towards another like it was an everyday occurrence. Nothing to gripe about, stare at, curse, or be offended about. No rejection, and no overenthusiastic support that would probably draw more attention to them than Edward cared for.

Instead of kissing the woman, he sent a charming smile her way and quickly assured the artist that his comment was not meant as a reprimand. He didn´t correct her wrong assumption about the 'boyfriend' part, wanting to make sure she knew that he and Ed were not a just two friends hanging out together.

"No need to apologize," Roy said. "I glad he´s enjoying himself. I was afraid he might not like my plans for our date." Which was not complete bullshit. He did want Ed to enjoy the exhibition, but he hadn´t been afraid that Edward wouldn't like it. Even if the former Fullmetal considered the paintings crap, the exhibition would at least provid them with a suitable topic for conversation.

The slight snort coming from Ed proved one of his suspicions true. The blond obviously knew that Roy Mustang didn´t date without a plan, and likely with second and third backup plans. The Colonel was sure that the younger man would soon enough join the discussion, and would probably question him later about why Roy didn´t deny that Ed was his boyfriend, as he had to Alphonse. For the moment it appeared that Edward was content to remain silent however, and when the artist in front of them started to ramble again, Roy looked down to his date.

And found Ed staring across the room with a strange expression on his face.

Roy followed Ed's gaze to a pair of dark brown eyes staring back that quickly looked away. The Colonel was sure that the man had been in every other part of the exhibition with them, but so far had done his best to appear interested only in the art. Looking more closely Roy immediately recognized a soldier in civilian clothes, and he was sure Ed did as well. The man could be one of Maes' spies, but it was equally possible that he was just an off duty soldier spending his spare time at the museum.

Roy tightened his grip around Ed to get the other alchemist's attention, then set about distracting the blond from the possible surveillance. It wasn't difficult. All it took was for Roy to challenge Edward's opinion of the painting the oblivious artist in front of them was talking about.

* * *

"Would you like another piece of cake, Al?" Gracia asked, her pleasant voice warm with motherly affection.

For a moment Alphonse was reminded of his own mother, and was surprised at how that memory didn´t hurt as much as it used to. Maybe it was true what people said, that time actually did heal all wounds. And maybe it was just the scotch Mister Hughes had poured for them both. Either way, feeling comfortable and warm, but also stuffed like a Christmas goose, he smiled back at the woman and shook his head.

"It's delicious, but I don´t think I can eat one more piece." And honestly, even before his last piece, he had felt stuffed. That was when Mr. Hughes had suggested a little drink, claiming that it would help them to digest all the food.

And Al had accepted. Pride was part of the reason he had done so. First Mustang, now Hughes. Al remembered two years ago when they had thought him to be too young to drink with them. Now he was obviously deemed to be of an acceptable drinking age. It felt good to be treated as an equal.

That was also why Al didn´t protest the refill, even though the strong alcohol felt like liquid fire running down his throat. He'd had time to get used to it though, and now it felt more like a rather pleasant tingle. Al felt slightly lightheaded, and really comfortable and relaxed.

"So." Mr. Hughes said and eyed him affectionately. "I´ve heard that you´re staying at your brother's place."

Al nodded. Roy must have mentioned that. At the thought of the Colonel Al felt himself turn beet red, thinking about what he had accidentally witnessed the previous evening. Then he downed his freshly poured drink in one go.

Gracia, who had been placing a piece of cake in front of her husband, paused. Hughes stared.

Al coughed, not noticing the bloodhound-like expression that appeared on his host's face, nor the glare it earned from the hostess.

Al was also beyond noticing the silent 'no' Gracia mouthed to her husband, or her long suffering sigh when that special, rather maniacal gleam made its appearance in Hughes' green eyes.

But even if he had, it was too late. Nothing could save Al now.

"If he is wasted tomorrow, you will regret it," Gracia whispered to Mr. Hughes, who only sent an innocent smile her way.

Mr. Hughes was smiling a smile that appeared utterly and absolutely honest. Mrs. Hughes didn't appear to trust it one bit. Alphonse smiled too, because it seemed like the right thing to do. Then he looked around for Elycia, but didn't see her.

Then Al remembered that Elycia had been sent to her friend's place right after supper. The girl had been bitterly disappointed to leave, but the sleep-over had been arranged for quite some time and it would have been rude to cancel. Mrs. Hughes had seemed relieved that her daughter was leaving for the evening, saying something about Elycia being _his_ daughter, and Gracia was not so sure the girl wouldn´t try to take advantage of Alphonse. Al was puzzled by that comment, but his thoughts were spinning around in his head, and it was hard to hold on to them. He let go of his confusion and it disappeared.

Gracia sighed and gave Al an affectionate pat on the shoulder, bidding him good night. He thought he heard her say something about this being painful and not wanting to stay and witness it, but he couldn't be sure.

Soon enough the young alchemist forgot her words, and was once again lost in his alcoholic haze.

* * *

Completely unaware that the same underhanded tactic Roy Mustang intended to use on him was being practiced on his brother, Ed appeared to be lost in thought as he picked on the beer bottle's label with his flesh hand. The little café they were sitting in was placed in the garden of the mansion, and having gone through half of the exhibition, Ed had not complained when Roy had announced his desire for a snack. The rather spare amount of food Roy had consumed that day had left him a bit hungry, but his first objective still remained: getting alcohol into Ed with the hope that it would loosen him up.

However, while that part of the plan had worked perfectly fine, it seemed the younger man's mood had taken on an almost nostalgic turn. Instead of sitting down across from Roy, he had taken a seat beside him, and now as the blond alchemist was staring at one of the paintings across the yard with an expression Roy couldn`t really place.

When Edward had been silent for too long, Roy decided that it was time to pry. While he wasn´t sure if the young man's mood was good or bad, the older knew the painting was responsible for it.

"What does it remind you of?" the Colonel wanted to know.

No reaction. Roy allowed himself to spare a few moments watching the unusually quiet blond. The sky was cloudy and Roy realized that he missed the sunlight. He was sure the view would be simply stunning – Edward in bright daylight would likely outshine the sun - and quickly made plans to take Ed to the park for a picnic one day while it was still warm enough.

"Ed?" he tried again, this time louder. Then a thought came to his mind and he smirked.

And snapped right in front of Ed's face the way people usually did when they wanted to get the attention of someone lost in thought.

"Fuck." The quiet curse was barely acknowledged when Ed almost fell off the bench at the sudden noise and the sharp smell of flint.

The culprit generously leaned in and caught the man's arm before the younger alchemist could completely lose his balance. Instead of gratitude for saving Edward from an ungraceful collision with the tiled patio, all the Colonel earned was a glare.

"What the fuck was that for?" Ed grumbled and shoved the hand on his arm away.

Instantly, Roy's face took on an expression of surprise and complete innocence. "I´m sorry, I didn´t know you wanted to sit on the floor." He smirked at the impatient and sour look Edward sent his way, and before the man could answer with a few surely colorful words, he quickly continued. "But since you seem to like sitting on the ground, I´m sure you wouldn´t mind a little picnic sometimes soon?"

Edward looked torn between staying mad about being startled and accepting the invitation, and Roy immediately began to make picnic plans. He´d love to do it tomorrow, but his currently chaotic life was making it difficult. In form of an empty fridge. Damn. Shopping just got more urgent.

* * *

It was quite disturbing to discover that Edward was not the only Elric who had gained some interrogation skills. But unlike his older brother, who seemed to have gained a sudden, very excessive overdose of paranoia, Alphonse clearly was a natural when it came to reading body language and getting information. He had a long way to go before he became a master in this art, but seemed to be doing quite well at reading between the lines of Roy's behavior, for an amateur. Al did miss the more subtle hints and cues that a seasoned investigator like Maes would pick up on, but seemed to realize when he had missed something, which was the key to gaining those skills. He lacked life experience too however, and that was probably the reason why he read motivations into Mustang's behavior that clearly were not there. He was not naïve enough to believe Roy wasn't ultimately out to get into his brother's pants though. That particular part of the discussion had been a very successful path toward getting Al drunk.

Alphonse still had a lot to learn about dealing with an experienced interrogator. The boy was too obviously trusting and open. Maes thought he should feel a bit ashamed about using such an underhanded tactic, but on the other hand, the boy really needed to be introduced to the real world. That glassy eyed stare by the end of his first drink and the tipsy grin by the end of the second left no doubt that boy had absolutely no resistance to alcohol. Who knew what might happen if the younger Elric ever managed to get drunk in an environment less safe than the house of a friend?

And honestly, Maes – and a lot of other people he could name, Roy included - had participated in more than just one party where someone had been deliberately liquored up enough to guarantee the rest of the drunken revelers plenty of fun. The someone usually ended up being the person for whom the party was being held, but not necessarily. And even without a specific reason to celebrate, drinking games were often part of a friendly after hours get together at the local bar. Sooner or later the drinking became less important than whatever game the drinkers became engaged in. And boy, Maes could remember some really fun games, usually at the expense of the poor and unfortunate wasted soul who managed to get really drunk first. Everybody had finally agreed that they would never, absolutely never _ever_ mention Falman's attempted striptease on top of the table, but there had been few situations that took longer to be forgotten or lived down. Thankfully Falman's alcohol damaged balance had prevented the attending people from getting an eyeful of what was underneath the trousers he had stumbled over.

But in the end, it was rare for the drunkard to not be embarrassed the day after, as Maes was sure would be the case tomorrow when Al remembered how open he had been this evening. Still, this experience might help Al to hold his liquor better. It actually might benefit the boy.

At the moment, Alphonse' inebriated state was certainly benefitting Maes.

The scotch had been far too heavy for Al, and since Maes didn't want the boy passing out before he got the information he was after, they had switched to beer. Al was ridiculously talkative when he was drunk. Should the younger Elric ever attempt to join the military he definitely would need to build up a resistance to alcohol, or all an enemy interrogator would have to do was get him wasted and Al would spill any classified information he knew.

In this case however, this evaluation was not exactly fair. Al was clearly suffering from an 'I did not want to see that ever' trauma. When Al admitted to having seen far more of the Colonel than he ever wanted to see, Hughes felt a measure of pity for the blond. After all, one of the men he had been talking about was this brother, and the other... Hughes always wondered if the Elrics saw Roy as some kind of father figure. Clearly, at least Ed did not.

However, as the amount of alcohol in Al's blood grew, the descriptions became rather … graphic. And while he did not offer Alphonse any more scotch, Hughes felt no reluctance to help himself to more of the stronger liquor. Good lord, who would have thought Al might witness … _that?_

* * *

Sadly, Roy did not get an answer out of Ed regarding a possible picnic. When the first raindrops started to fall, the conversation shifted to the less-than-picnic-suitable weather as both he and the blond hurried back into the building. Thankfully, the artists had taken the weather into consideration, and the few paintings that had been on display outside were water resistant oil paintings which were quickly brought inside to safety.

And while Roy didn´t get an answer to his picnic question, the blond answered another as a man passed by, carrying the painting Ed had been looking at.

"It looks like something Al and I did as children," he said.

Mustang just looked at him. The knowledge that the Elric boys took to alchemy very early was nothing new. Roy looked closer at the painting as it was placed on an easel inside the exhibition hall. It was one of the more abstractly artistic pieces.

"We made a mess out of the living room wall when Al was still a toddler." Ed continued, amusement in his tone.

Roy moved closer to the piece as he examined it, working to figure out what the artist might have had in mind, not immediately recognizing any alchemical content. For a moment he wondered how that painting made it into this exhibition, until he began to recognize not only runes, but also something of a defining circle disguised by slashes of darker color obscuring large areas of the canvas. Roy had to agree that the comparison to a child's mess did kind of fit this particular painting. I looked as if an array had been painted first and young children had been turned loose to embellish it.

"Huh," Roy said noncommittally, not really sure what he thought about Edward's explanation. He couldn´t quite imagine Hohenheim drawing a circle on his living room wall, but surely Ed could not have drawn an array at that age. Or could he? Looking back to the blond, Roy couldn´t help but ask.

"Just what did you use as paint?"

He instantly regretted the questioned when Ed's fond look of nostalgia faded.

"Al's baby food of course," Ed told him. "We did it when Mom went to answer the door. It didn´t take us long." Then he paused at the relieved look on Roy's face. "What did you think we used?" Then the younger man caught on to the Colonel's line of thought and grimaced . "Eww. Don´t even think about that!"

Grinning slightly, Roy only shrugged. "Well, you said Al was a toddler, and I know for a fact that some children do messy experiments with their diaper contents." When he noticed the way Ed was eyeing him, he quickly added, "Not me of course." The Colonel cleared his throat and continued. "But I'm pretty sure I can name at least one occasion when Hughes was not so proud of his daughter's accomplishments … or maybe not." Shaking his head, Roy pointed back to the picture. "You like it?"

There were probably not enough alchemic elements in there for Ed to theorize about, but seeing as the blond seemed to have been pleased by the particular memory it brought to mind, Roy took a chance.

Quite relieved over the change of topic, Edward turned back towards the painting. "I guess I do. Kind of," he answered, drawing the words out.

"Why don´t you buy it?" The Colonel suggested, having already decided to address his next objective – keeping Ed in Central. "I think it would fit the décor of you apartment very nicely. The place definitely needs some more decoration if you're going to stay in town. And with the amount of work the military has for alchemist, you won´t run out of work anytime soon. You should make yourself comfortable in your home."

The younger man blinked in surprise, then started to bite his lower lip. Was he still contemplating Cameron? He´d better not.

"Having something you 'kind of like' there would be a good first step. And having some_one _you kind of like there might be a very good second step," Roy argued, deliberately putting a good bit of amusement into the quote. And yes, that 'someone'-part was a low blow, using Edward's friends – and himself- as bribery, but the man definitely needed to get it into Ed's thick skull that he shouldn't consider leaving Central except for some vacation time in between jobs.

Ed raised one eyebrow and stared at him. Perhaps in response to the over-obvious tactic Roy was using to encourage him to stay in town, a very slight curling had appeared at the corner of the young man's mouth. The Colonel decided that he liked it.

* * *

Getting Al drunk was proving to be quite a success. Until they reached the point where Maes had to admit that his plan had backfired.

Badly.

Perhaps he had underestimated Alphonse. Maybe the younger Elric was more sophisticated than Maes had originally thought. His notion that an interrogator only needed to get the boy drunk to get all the information he wanted was still correct. The problem was that it would be difficult for that interrogator to stick around long enough to get useful information.

This was a completely new form of torture. By now, Hughes was quite sure that a drunken Alphonse was nothing he would ever want to unleash on some other poor, unsuspecting soul.

There was just something incredibly wrong with sweet little Alphonse talking about the strange offers he had received. From librarians, as well as other people in positions of public trust. Maes seriously wondered about these peoples' sense of decency. Who in their right mind would suggest things of that nature to an underage alchemic prodigy? Who in their right mind would say things like that at all?

And Maes had thought that _Roy_ was bad.

Unfortunately, Al wasn't finished outlining his current encounter. "And then he said I could invite some friends along and we could-"

What Al then said would continue to traumatize the experienced military man and Investigations officer Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes any time he remembered it, for the rest of his natural life. He would have been happier if it had fried his brain, because then there would have been the possibility of forgetting it. Horrified, he prayed Ed never found out about that particular incident. Or worse, Armstrong. God, he did not want to see what Alex Louis Armstrong would do to someone who suggested something like that to such an innocent young man.

Maes seriously considered grounding his daughter for at least the next 30 years, considering people like _that_ were actually running around loose.

* * *

Roy managed to push his own almost untouched double pint of beer in Ed's direction, claiming that it had been the only brand the café sold so he had been forced to give it an unsatisfactory try.

Actually, the beer, while far from having a chance to become his favorite brand, was not that bad. It was just rather strong. But since Roy bought it because it was the strongest one they served, he shouldn´t complain.

Shouldn´t, but did. To the point where he could shove it off on Ed and have the man drink a second strong beer.

They had arranged for the painting to be delivered to Ed's apartment and cleared up the details of when and how the payment would be made. Then Roy had ordered some wine to celebrate the purchase, adding a glass of wine to the two bottles of beer Ed had already consumed. As a result, when they finally arrived at the restaurant Ed had been delightfully tipsy and the conversation had become stimulating, laced with subtle innuendos and double meanings - phrases an outsider wouldn´t think twice about. And not just on Roy's end of the banter. Ed was giving as good as he got, hidden beneath what _could_ be misconstrued as friendly teasing. It was subtle, and infrequent, and Ed's innocuous comments often took Roy by surprise when he least expected it. And he liked it.

Ed seemed to have perfected the art of flirting while not flirting at all, and it was downright thrilling to engage in a conversation that was anything but as innocent as it appeared to the casual observer.

Roy found that he really liked this slightly flirty edge, and he was curious to see how it would develop.

But curiosity killed the cat, and maybe Roy should have not ordered the second bottle of wine.

He definitely should not have recommended the dessert that included a touch of alcohol either. And if that wasn't stepping over the line, as an after dinner treat, their waiter brought an aperitif.

When they left, Ed was noticeably tipsy, which gave him a perfectly acceptable reason to hold on to Roy for balance. Roy wondered if his companion was really as drunk as he appeared, but accepted the excuse to put his arm around the blond without complaint. On the contrary, Roy was very content on the way to Ed's apartment. The Flame Alchemist suspected that Edward was quite skilled at finding excuses for public embraces, and was taking full advantage of his drunken state. Roy counted his alcohol strategy a great success.

That was until he became aware of a tiny little miscalculation on his part. He had forgotten about the fact that Ed was missing two limbs, and therefore had less body weight. And the consumed alcohol definitely was catching up with him. Roy gradually noticed that he was actually having to help keep the blond steady instead of pretending to, but that wasn't bad. Thanks to the automail, the young man may have weighted more, but it was doable.

Having his former subordinate suddenly embrace him in the middle of the sidewalk was not bad either. He liked his arms full of Ed. He liked the way Edward lay his face against Roy's shoulder, for a change not tense with the awareness of being in the public eye. Relaxed, warm, breathing against his neck.

It sent shivers down Roy's spine.

It took him a bit of time to convince Edward – and himself – to continue on their way.

"I like how your ass looked those jeans you wore the other day," Ed suddenly whispered against the shoulder he was leaning on for support. "Much nicer than those slacks you're wearing right now. But you still look good. I bet you look good in anything." The blond tiled his head up to blink owlishly at the man he was currently using as a crutch. "I bet you look best wearing nothing at all."

Amused, Roy knew than for a fact that Edward had had way too much alcohol. He never would have let that slip otherwise. This had gone far beyond the loosening up stage that had been Roy's goal. Surprisingly, as drunk as he was Ed didn´t mispronounce many words, though he took longer breaks between some of them.

Roy was not sure how he felt about what Edward had managed to articulate. It was late in the evening, and there weren't many people out and about, and Ed had not been speaking loudly. Still, the dark haired man was torn in his feelings. It sure as hell was strange to be viewed that way. Or have his ass talked about like that.

It became stranger still when the blond began to elaborate about what he wanted to do to Roy. The Colonel became very sure of how he felt about that however. The tightness of the trousers Edward had just complained about was very quickly falling on Roy's list of things that concerned him. Clearing his throat, the Flame Alchemist took a look around the thankfully still empty street and wondered if Ed was aware of their surroundings at all.

Roy was brought to a sudden stop in front of Ed's apartment building when the younger alchemist decided that it was once again time for a hug. Roy almost expected the man's hands to wander to a certain recently mentioned body part, but instead Ed snuggled close against him, burying his nose against Mustang's neck.

"I shouldn´t have drunk so much." Edward said. "I can´t think when I drink so much."

About to tease the young man, the Colonel almost didn´t hear his next, whispered words.

"I need to think; it´s dangerous when I can't."

Instantly the Flame Alchemist alert. "Dangerous?" While some people did in fact manage to do incredibly stupid things while drunk, Roy knew the other man was not referring to that.

Ed hummed and leaned in closer. Roy almost jumped, startled when a cold nose brushed his neck. It was getting really chilly. Roy knew they should get into the building, but he felt no desire to move. So instead, he put his arms around Edward in a light embrace and was rewarded with a content sigh as the blond pressed closer. Who would have thought Ed could be so affectionate when drunk? For a moment, Roy wondered if the man was secretly a snuggler. How cute was that? Roy filed the event away for later teasing.

Because while ammunition against Ed was nice, it was neither the time nor the place to take advantage of Edward's surprisingly sweet drunken side to tease him. It was time to take advantage of his vulnerability to get information.

Slowly rubbing his hands up and down the younger man's back, he carefully thought about what to say next. Then he looked down. He could only see the loose, blond hair falling over the younger man's shoulders, but the younger alchemist's breathing had evened out. The body in his arms was relaxed, and for a moment Roy wondered if the man had fallen asleep on him.

"Ed?" Instinctively his voice dropped to a whisper.

It took a few seconds for the blond to let out a lazy "Hm?" against Roy's neck.

"Why is it dangerous?" He already knew most of this answer, from what Edward had explained about the other world, and by the way Ed behaved as if he was constantly being spied upon, but Roy needed an entry point, and with Edward's current state of sleepy drunkenness it was better to use something the other man's knew Roy was already familiar with.

"I'm careless when I'm drunk." Ed admitted.

Roy was starting to feel a bit frustrated. That answer didn´t help at all. While he was sure the blond was talking about the close-to-war-situation in that other world and the fact that he had to be careful about displaying his preferences, this wasn't anything new.

Suddenly finding himself conflicted, Roy contemplated calling this off and just getting Edward safely into his apartment so he could sleep this off. He was not quite satisfied with the outcome of his plan. While the blond did flirt with him, it had still been hidden. And on their way home, he was clearly so far from sober that he might not even remember this tomorrow. And if he did, he could use his drunken state as an excuse for his behavior.

Regretfully , the Colonel loosened his embrace with the intention of leading Edward into his apartment and sadly, not into his bed. Well, yes, into his bed, but not for the purpose Roy would have preferred.

But Ed clearly had other plans in mind, because when the Colonel tried to let go, the other man's arms around his waist pulled him closer. The next moment, Roy felt soft lips nibble at his skin.

Startled, Roy didn´t react at first. He could feel Ed's mouth on his neck again in a way that was sure to leave a hickey. Did the blond suddenly decide it was time for revenge?

Not that Roy was complaining.

Despite the fact that the soft, almost lazy caresses were not the passionate and purely sexual kind of kisses Roy was used to, they felt very nice. Strangely comfortable and right. He let out a slight sigh.

Unfortunately, his brain just had to interfere.

"You didn´t get drunk over there?" Roy asked while he tilted his head a bit to the side to give Edward better access. The older man's hands returned to their place on Ed's back, rubbing over the pullover the man wore. He could feel the soft material, but also the body underneath. Still relaxed, still comfortable. Roy didn´t want to ruin it but knew it was already too late. He should have kept his mouth shut and enjoyed it. But the bastard part of him just couldn't resist taking advantage of the situation, Ed right here in his arms, trusting - and just like he said, careless.

"Hm."

This time, it lacked the questioning sound. At the same time, the Colonel noticed the way Ed's grip around him tightened. There was something tense in the movement and Roy felt his throat tighten at the thought that this embrace felt a bit desperate. It didn´t suit Ed, not one bit. The blond spitfire was not someone who needed to hold onto someone like this.

"We couldn´t risk that," Ed admitted after a while, and the older man had to bite his lip. "Not that it mattered, they still found out."

Roy was sure it was not only the alcohol, but perhaps also the fact that it was Roy he was talking to, but right now Ed was much more open, and not only in what he said. He also was easier to read, his face, voice, and body speaking their own part. It reminded Roy of the way the young man had been before his disappearance into another world.

But while it did provide him with additional information, it also left him uncomfortable, because being able to read Edward did not mean that he liked what he read. For a moment Roy regretted pushing for answers, as he could see that whatever the young man was remembering now hurt him very deeply and very badly. The soothing rubbing of his back seemed to have the opposite effect on Ed. Roy could hear the man taking deep breaths, trying to rebuild his crumbling walls. Roy's questions stuck in his throat while Ed struggled with the painful memories. Even though the grip around his waist was already tight, he could feel it getting stronger.

Roy had absolutely no idea what to do. He couldn't imagine what might be going through Ed's mind, or what the man had been through. He could feel the slight tremble of the body in his arms but Ed's face, buried against his neck, remained dry. Harsh breathing, but no sobs.

Roy felt lost, standing in the street, Edward crying on his shoulder, so deeply affected by what could only be the loss of a loved one. And while the younger man slowly calmed down, all the Colonel could do was stand there with no idea what to do.

Roy always hated to feel useless, but today he was introduced to a complete new dimension of that feeling.

* * *

Al had finally fallen asleep.

Hughes felt exhausted and depressed. There are some things he would have preferred to not know. But he had also gained a good bit of information from Alphonse, and that almost made it worthwhile to listen to the very disturbing fantasies some people enjoyed.

And should Maes ever have any say in what laws should be enacted, he would definitely vote for the ones that locked up assholes like the ones Al had had to deal with. For a moment, the Lieutenant Colonel indulged in a dark fantasy involving a few of Al's tormentors. And while he had always been the kind of man who agreed that crimes should be punished – and inflicting bodily harm to a place no man wanted to be harmed - some people got what they deserved. Which was likely what the police officer had decided back then. Hughes had no desire to blame Alphonse for his lack of self control. Maes himself would probably have done worse, and most likely the police officer would have as well.

But leaving all that aside, the insight Hughes had gained from Roy and Ed's 'not-relationship' - as Al had put it, since Roy insisted it wasn´t a relationship - had been… interesting.

Maes sighed as he decided that he needed to talk to his friend.

And stop him from screwing things up.

* * *

It had been awhile since their last get together, so Gracia decided to spontaneously visit Riza Hawkeye. She couldn´t be sure the woman was at home, but unlike her husband or Roy, she was not a control freak who had to plan everything. She just walked over, and if Hawkeye was there and could spare some time, it would be nice. If not, she would enjoy a quiet walk.

Gracia was aware that her husband had launched into yet another plan to become his best friend's best man. She had stopped worrying over his strange behavior long ago. However pulling Al into his schemes like that was something they would have to talk about. And while she knew that the younger Elric was at least mentally old enough to make his own decisions, she did not approve of her husband's actions.

But she hadn´t stopped him. It would give both men, young and old, a well deserved lesson when Al was suffering through a hangover tomorrow and Maes had to explain to Edward how his baby brother got wasted.

When she reached Riza's street, she was grateful to see the woman arriving home, carrying two bags with an emblem of a nearby grocery store imprinted on the front. The moment Hawkeye saw her, she smiled. In a very satisfied way with a tiny, wicked edge to it.

Now, that was rare. Tilting her head to the side, Gracia greeted the other woman and didn´t have time to question her odd expression, because Riza didn´t even bother to reply the greeting.

Instead she instantly announced, "I wanted to call you once I got home. I have some very interesting news."

Now Gracia was even more curious. She tried to take one of the grocery bags, but the other woman wasn´t having any of it. She quickly unlocked her door and stepped inside, motioning for Gracia to join her. Mrs. Hughes moved quickly, anxious to hear her friend's news, and had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep herself from questioning the Lieutenant like some gossiping teen. She was a married lady and a mother; she should act like one. Her mother had raised her with better manners than that.

But when Riza Hawkeye happily announced her news, Gracia lost her manners completely, and openly – in a very unlady-like fashion - gapped like a fish.

"What?" she aked, needing to hear it again just to be sure she had heard it right the first time.

Riza Hawkeye smiled even wider and smugly repeated her observation.

"Roy´s in love."

* * *

It turned out that Roy didn´t have to do anything. Except be there.

"Stay the night?" the blond asked quietly.

Roy hesitated. He couldn´t say no. Not now. But… God, he _hated_ this bet.

"I´m not sure if that´s what you need right now," he tried to reassure Ed, and himself as well. There, that sounded logical. He still felt like a jerk of the worst kind.

But surprisingly, Ed chuckled and finally leaned back a bit to look up at Mustang. "I didn´t invite you to coffee, you narcissistic Bastard." There was a slightly teasing note to his voice but it also sounded a bit forced. It quickly became clear to Roy that the young man in front of him wanted to just leave the last few moments behind. So he played along.

"Just how do you know about that?" He smirked. "Been invited?"

"If you really need to know, yes." Ed huffed, sounding indignant. "It´s not like they knew beforehand I was going to turn the invitation down."

Roy chuckled and leaned down to kiss the man, and was relieved when Ed, despite the fact that they still stood in front of the building, not only didn´t protest, but leaned into the kiss. Unfortunately, Roy suspected the Ed's surrender was more due to emotional exhaustion than a genuine disregard for prying public eyes.

"If you're worried about your nonexistent virtue, I promise I won´t take advantage of you." Ed offered a tiny smile, then added, "Al is staying at the Hughes' tonight, and I just -" He stopped, the smile already slipping from his lips.

And he didn´t want to be alone right now, Roy mentally finished. He already felt like an asshole for forcing the blond to explain himself this far, and he didn´t want Edward to have to ask again because he might not. And Roy really did want to stay, so-

"I'd love to stay."

Roy spent the night in Ed's bed, still mostly dressed with a warm body snuggled comfortably against his side. Nothing even close to sexual happened, and he couldn´t have cared less. He just lay in the bed, listening to Ed's deep and even breathing, running his fingers ran through loose, blond hair. Staring at the ceiling, he tried to recall the last time he spent the night in someone else's bed like this.

The circumstances leading up to this were far from favorable, even disregarding possible awkwardness in the morning. Lying here this way felt ridiculously mundane, and was not the usual behavior of a sophisticated man like Roy Mustang.

And he couldn`t help but wonder why he had not done this sooner.

Tbc.

* * *

phew, I hope you guys are still there and enjoyed this chapter ^^ I'd be happy if you let me know what you think even though I´m failing miserably with keeping up the answering u.u

And just so you know: The next chapter is with my beta already ^^ I won't take that long again for the next chapter ^^° so, see you soon?

* * *

**Answer not registered users: **

SPOONZITELLYOU: I'm really sorry it took so long again u.u *cough* Maybe we can talk about that spoon first? ^^° Uhm… I … uhm… Next chapter is at my beta´s place already and won´t take that long again! I promise! Okay? *puppyeyes* now, could you… place that spoon somewhere else… like… out of reach? Yes? Please? ^^°

Stranger: *bows* Thank you very much!

AevalTurehu: Thank you! I`ll try my best to keep the quality up ^^ And now I´m doubting your sanity for reading through this monster without a break XD But hey, insane people are the most fun and I´m happy you enjoyed the fic so much ^^

Jen: Thank you for the reviews ^^ they are definitely a motivation :D Even if it may not seem like it u.u Thank you for theoretically buying the potential book ^.~ I´d appreciate it. But I do guess, getting it for free is probably still better ;-P The best 'payment' I can get for me is to know that some people out there enjoy the fics. I´m really happy to hear you enjoyed the fic so much even after reading it twice :D A few chapters in, there will be a few other twists that have been pointed at ^^ I´m curious to see how many readers might have guessed what´s going to happen :D

Guest(s): Now, I´m not sure whether it´s one guest or not, so this goes for everyone if you are more than one ^^° Yes, this story will definitely be finished ^^ as long as I´m capable of writing, I will continue doing so :D So, don´t worry about this being abandoned. Sometimes, it takes a murderous amount of time for me to update, but until there is an 'the End' at the bottomline of the chapter, there will be an update. I´m happy you enjoyed the fic so much it prompted you to review ^^ I´ll do my best to keep up the quality and hope you will enjoy the rest of the fic as well :D

D: Thank you for the review ^^ I´m happy you do like some of the parts and I´d like to thank you for the critique. I haven´t read that '50 shades nightmare', so I´m not sure what parts remind you of it. If you'd be a bit more specific, I can try to tune down whatever it is that´s reminding you of that book. Although I´m not sure how far I will do that, since there are some readers who enjoy it ^^ But you will probably be happy to hear, since the story finally developed a more solid plot than just the bet, there will be a lot more scenes that are not purely about Roy getting laid or not ^^


	35. The Morning After

**A/N:** Finally, a update without months of waiting again :D I wish all of you a Merry Christmas!

Now, this update might be fast, but unfortunately I can´t guarantee the same for all of the following ones u.u Thanks to 'Le Alias' however, at least the whole trouble of having to read the whole fic again can be lessened ^^ Whenever it takes longer between the updates, I will add a short summary of the previous chapters at the beginning. It will be written _italic_, so you can just skip over it if you don´t need it. It also won´t include all the details or hints all of the previous chapters do, but hopefully it will give you a good overview, so you can start reading the new chapter without having to go through all of the previous ones first ^^

**Beta&Co-Author:** Ca11iope :D Merry Christmas, my dear! You know I wish you only the best because that´s what you deserve ^^

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Four: The Morning After

Day 21

When Roy stepped out of Ed's bathroom, he found the other alchemist standing in front of him.

The signs of yesterday's drinking were clearly visible on the blond this morning. A sharp frown and narrowed eyes spoke volumes about the headache the young man was suffering. His hair was a mess and his mood was even worse. The fact that this picture made Roy smile instead of run probably meant something significant, but right now the Colonel was in no condition to work it out.

"Good –" Roy started, but the first syllable of his morning greeting was as far as he got before he was rudely interrupted.

"Shhh!" Ed hissed and the Colonel instantly fell silent. After three seconds, the younger man just peeked at him through squinted eyes and whispered. "Not so loud." Then he winced at his own voice, although he had spoken very quietly.

Arching one eyebrow up, Roy looked at him. It took another few seconds but then Ed hummed and said, "I need to…" Sparing the rest, the blond only pointed towards Roy, or rather the door he was in front of.

Right, the bathroom. Stepping aside, Roy watched the zombie scuffle past him into the bathroom.

A slight but nagging feeling of guilt prompted the Colonel to close the curtains until the apartment was as dim as possible, so it wouldn´t give the already suffering younger man an even worse headache. Then he made his way into the kitchen. Luckily either Al or Ed had taken the time to do some grocery shopping, so there was no lack of raw materials. Once the eggs and bacon were placed in the pan, the toaster was full, and coffee was on its way, Roy went in search of painkillers. Oddly, throughout all these preparations, as told himself that he was neither a housewife, a nurse, nor Ed's boyfriend, and that the blond certainly should have thought about how much he could drink and consider the consequences, Roy didn´t mind doing the chores.

When Edward came back from the bathroom, he looked much better, on the outside at least. The expression on his face was still that of someone who questioned just why they had bothered to crawl miserably out of bed.

The blond stopped short when his eyes fell on Mustang. Then he saw the painkillers. Then the coffee.

His eyes wandered over the table, already prepared for breakfast. Slowly and on still bare feet, the younger alchemist approached the stove, coming to a halt next to Roy. Wordlessly, he peeked into the pan. Then he looked up to Mustang, who observed the uncharacteristically quiet man.

Ed sent yet another glance towards breakfast before he turned back to his guest.

"Huh," was the blond's only comment. Then he took a hold of Roy's neck and pulled him down. The kiss was short but intense, and Roy was released before he even had time to react.

Taking his sweet time, Ed turned around and poured himself some coffee.

Roy should have expected something like that, shouldn´t he? As it was, he barely managed to pull himself back together to prevent the breakfast from turning out inadvertently crispy.

* * *

Gracia was lost in thought as she made preparations for a nice, healthy family breakfast, lost in the conversation she and Riza had had the night before. It was hard to believe, but if Riza's observations were correct… well, it was about time Roy Mustang finally fell for someone. And Gracia didn´t have the shadow of a doubt with regard to Hawkeye's skills as an observer.

And even though one could argue that Riza´s point of view was subjective, the blonde woman had done her best to report what had happened in Roy's office in an objective way, leaving out descriptive words and her own thoughts.

To Gracia, it pretty much sounded just like it appeared to Hawkeye. Never in a million years would she have been able to picture her husband's best friend daydreaming in his office. Especially not with a far away, teenager-with-a-major-crush expression on his face, and even though Riza was careful to avoid describing the scene that way, that was exactly the picture Gracia got from what she had been told. The only thing missing to complete the cliché had been a daisy, for Roy to pick off the petals.

But while that mental image was definitely hilarious, Gracia still had her doubts. It could be wishful thinking on both women's part. And really, Edward Elric with Roy Mustang? That sounded like an accident looking for a place to happen, with a side of screaming murder.

Another recent event Gracia took into consideration was her husband's behavior the previous evening. She had wondered why he was so suddenly interested in getting information out of Alphonse, and about the questionable method he had used to aim for that information. Now that she was thinking about it, she realized that he had had that maniacal glint in his eyes; the expression he got every time he was scheming a plan to get Roy in front of the aisle as a bridegroom.

In light of this recent development, it made much more sense. It explained Al's involvement and why her husband had suddenly decided to use the quickest, dirtiest, and most generally effective interrogation tactic on the young man. Not that Gracia approved. Quite the contrary. She decided that she was going to have to have another talk with her overzealous husband about interrogating guests in their home.

Her thoughts were interrupted by her husband rushing into the kitchen. "Good morning, my beloved and wonderful wife," he said as he pressed a quick kiss on her cheek.

Immediately Gracia noticed two things. One: Maes seemed to have at least a slight headache despite his cheerful greeting. That wrinkle on his forehead was only present when he suffered from a headache.

And two: he was fully dressed. Including shoes and a light jacket.

"You´re going out?" She wanted to know, bewildered over the fact that he obviously was not planning to stay for breakfast.

"Yes, this is urgent," Maes said, while he zipped up his jacket. "But I think I´ll make it home before lunch."

Although he was ready to go and did claim this to be urgent, he hesitated for a moment.

"Roy might be joining us, so-"

"-I´ll make extra." Gracia said with a smile.

So, it appeared that her husband was aware of the interesting romantic development concerning his friend as well. She couldn´t wait to have lunch with Roy, and even better, with the Elrics as well. If Riza's theory was right, it would be very interesting to watch the Flame's behavior around the two brothers. Especially the older.

"You´ll bring Ed over as well? I think it might be a good idea to let Al sleep in late, considering what the two of you got up to last night." Her slight disapproving edge over her last observation disappeared when her husband froze for a moment at the mention of Edward. And developed into a worried frown at his answer.

"No. I don´t think Ed will want to join us," he said, slowly. Then he shook his head. "I really need to go." And once again gave her a quick kiss, before bidding her goodbye and leaving the house.

Gracia was left in the kitchen, dumbfounded. Staring at the door through which her husband had just vanished, she wondered what was wrong. A bad feeling settled into her stomach.

Shaking the feeling away, she decided that maybe she should wake Al up after all.

* * *

Ed was surprisingly forthcoming once they had finished breakfast. During breakfast, the Colonel had tried to start a light conversation. Nothing special or heavy handed, just some small talk. It was mostly ignored. Once they had finished eating however, the younger man's headache seemed to have dulled at least enough to no longer bother him as much, because Roy was able to speak without having to lower his voice. Both of men took care of the dishes, and although the blond was still on the silent side during all off it, he did allow Roy to manhandle him the entire time with very little resistance.

Whenever he felt like it, Roy was able to pull the man close. He could kiss him to his hearts delight and have the kiss reciprocated. Edward even tilted his head to the side to give him better access when Roy decided that one of the hickeys needed to be refreshed.

Under normal circumstances the lack of challenge would have left Roy feeling somewhat disappointed. Something about this behavior felt off, but not in a way Roy would be able to describe. Edward appeared strangely worn out and haunted, and Mustang knew that it was a result of yesterday. He was grateful that this passive behavior was certainly nothing he could expect from the blond on daily basis.

And honestly, Roy didn´t mind the lack of challenge when he noticed how much Ed really enjoyed the gestures. The younger man seemed determined to simply relish the caresses without worrying for once, so Roy didn´t comment on Edward's unusual mood, although tons of questions resided on the tip of his tongue, waiting to be asked, begging to be answered.

Instead, he took great delight in seeing how far he was allowed to go.

If it weren´t for the damn bet, he was sure the situation would have led to a hot and steamy make out session, if not more. Most likely more. For Roy, sex was rarely of the 'slow and intense' variety, but this was definitely a situation that called for it. And he knew they both would have enjoyed it.

Sadly, he knew neither of them would have enjoyed the consequences of a lost bet.

Fortunately, Ed didn´t seem to mind the relatively innocent way his strange mood was being taken advantage of. Though he definitely left a few openings for Roy to take this further if he wanted to, Edward also didn´t seem too disappointed when the Colonel didn´t take them. On the contrary, Edward seemed pretty content with the gentle touches and resumed the light conversation Roy had tried to start during breakfast.

The Flame Alchemist had a sneaking suspicion that the young man wasn´t just recovering from yesterday's emotional disaster that had caused Edward to ask him to stay. It was clear that whatever had happened was still affecting the man even though it had been buried deep. He could almost see the progress Ed made in trying to deal with it, but noticed something else becoming visible. A hint of something that was not quite bitterness, or hardness, but something close.

Roy had to bite his tongue to keep himself from asking questions. Oh, he really wanted to know, but at the same time, he didn´t want to deprive Ed of the break the young man clearly seemed to need.

So it was even more surprising when Edward himself brought the topic back up.

The young man sent a wary glance towards his former superior and then, over the rim of a fresh cup of coffee, he said, "He didn´t let me drink too much when we were out. I got wasted exactly once in public, and afterwards we decided it was too dangerous to do it again."

The blond took a deep breath and looked up, into Roy's dark eyes. Silently looking back, the Colonel decided not to comment on this, leaving it up to the blond to dictate the direction of the conversation, and whether or not to tell him more.

That seemed to be the right course of action, because Edward relaxed a bit and appeared more at ease.

"The German's love their beer and it´s almost impossible not to drink when you are out with people. Of course once you get started they urge you to drink more, but between the two of us we managed to keep tabs on how much we drank, and neither of us got wasted again after what happened that one time we did." Surprisingly, a small and clearly fond smile found its way to Ed's lips. "Looks like you are actually more of a gentleman than he was; who would have guessed?" The amusement was clear in his voice. Then the blond seemed to realize that talking about your ex and comparing him to the person he was currently socializing with might be a bit tactless, and blushed. "Uhm… I…" The younger alchemist began.

"I don´t mind talking about your former boyfriends," Roy quickly assured him, and was surprised to discover that in this case it was true. Usually he was not at all interested in his lovers' past affairs, but this was different. Not only did he get the impression that it might do Ed some good to talk about this, it would also give Roy some much sought after information. "As long as the _boyfriend_ you're talking about stays _former_," he added with a pointed look towards the place where a certain ring was likely hidden beneath Ed's shirt. Even though Roy was certain that Ed wouldn´t – or couldn't - return to the man, the Colonel wanted that thing gone.

Of course he put special emphasis on the '_former'_ part of the sentence with clear intentions. Yes, he actually was trying to act like most other people would in this kind of situation – curious with a hint of possessiveness. If the little scene just now was any indication, the blond was not exactly well practiced when it came to talking about former relationships.

Normal was nothing either of them were very good at, but that was exactly the reason why Roy was handling the situation this way, because it was strange and unfamiliar ground for the other alchemist. And it might just be enough to keep Edward off balance and get the predicted reaction. Manipulative? Yes, but Ed should know by now who he was dealing with. And seeing as it had become so much harder to manipulate his former subordinate, Roy felt no remorse for trying it now.

And it got him exactly the reaction he had wanted. Ed quickly lifted his hands in a defensive gesture and stammered, "No!.. Uhm, yes," he said. Blushing even further, he added. "There won´t be anything between us again!"

Roy Mustang just now might have an impression of how a cat felt when sitting on a nice warm seat on a cockle stove. He really liked the sound of that.

Unfortunately, his options were either wallowing in satisfaction, or getting more information. Sometimes it sucked to be him. He might have preferred to sit back and enjoy the feeling, but couldn't stop himself from lifting one eyebrow questioningly. It prompted a huff from Ed as the young man looked to the side.

It took the blond a few moments, but then he spoke again, he was much quieter this time.

"He´s probably already dead."

"Probably?" Roy quoted. "You don´t know for sure?"

While the Colonel filed away the information that the man could be alive, he also wondered what could have happened for Ed to not know whether his lover was alive or not. Maybe questioning him was insensitive and tactless, but Roy knew that the chance of getting answers out of Edward by waiting for him to volunteer the information was very low. So the Colonel took advantage of the fact that at the moment the other man seemed willing to talk, since he had been the one to direct the discussion to this topic.

Ed was chewing on his lower lip, but the rest of his body had become completely still, though Roy could see, but not read, the turmoil in the younger man's eyes.

The blond alchemist opened his mouth, but closed it again, without saying a word. Silently, Roy watched him struggle, waiting for him to sort his thoughts and put them into words. But after a few minutes without progress, Roy sighed.

"You don´t have to-" he started, ready to close the topic, but Edward interrupted him.

"Even if he's not dead, he´s not the same anymore," the young man said, and despite his previous struggle, his voice was now firm as his gaze returned to Roy.

Instantly, the Colonel was reminded of the young boy who had been determined to go to hell and back to remedy the mistake he had made. There was a certain ruthlessness to his sudden composure, but it was a step forward.

Roy sighed in relief. Despite the pain still evident in Ed's eyes, the younger man was willing and determined to deal with it, and the strange mood that had held the blond captive since the previous evening was finally vanishing. Roy now had Fullmetal back, and he was more than happy to see the steel return to the young man. Finally.

"The last time I saw him, he was no longer himself. And he won´t ever be again," Ed continued, his tone final.

Roy instantly knew that this discussion was at an end. He would get no more information on the subject, but that was alright. Roy had achieved something much better.

Anyone else might have been shocked by Edward's next, and final, words on the matter, but Roy felt nothing of the sort. No relief, bitterness, or unsettledness underscored Edward's voice, only calm sincerity.

"I really hope he´s dead," the blond said in a soft, but steady tone.

* * *

"Al!" Elicia squealed, excited to see the young man was still there at the breakfast table.

"Ow," Al responded. God, this was bad.

The disapproving glances he received from Gracia were almost worse. He felt like a scolded child. And Mrs. Hughes had not said a single word after her quite morning greeting. So much for being an adult.

Sighing, Alphonse sat at the table carefully eying the breakfast, not sure if his stomach could handle any food right now. He sighed again, this time in relief, when Gracia placed some herbal tea in front of him instead of coffee. He sent her a grateful look, but the smile he got in return was not quite as warm as he expected.

Then the woman placed – oh dear god – a thickly filled omelet on the table. He could see onions, tomatoes and mushrooms, and he was quite sure she knew about his aversion to mushrooms. Then the strong _smell_ of the onions and tomatoes and dreaded mushrooms hit him, and his stomach did a painful flip as nausea attacked him.

"Here you go, Al." Alphonse needed to concentrate on the housewife's voice to actually hear what she was saying. "A _rich_ and _healthy_ breakfast will do you good."

The glance she sent his way added an unspoken 'and you better eat all of it'. Obviously, the woman was about to introduce him to a physical principle he was already familiar with in a completely new way. Action and reaction. Meaning: each action had its consequences. And now he needed to live through the consequences of yesterday's drinking.

Al was quite sure his face had lost all color. He was about to decline breakfast, but the way Gracia turned away without giving him a chance to say 'No, thank you' left him with the impression that he might be in even more trouble if he tried that. So he dutifully took the fork and cut off a bit of the omelet with its edge.

There was _bacon_ in there. Freaking _bacon_.

He was going to vomit. He placed the fork back on the table, and trying to keep at least a bit of his dignity, he attempted to slowly get up and hopefully make it to the bathroom without losing the battle against his gag reflex. Instantly, Elicia's voice rang out.

"You´re not hungry?" The worry in the girl's voice was enough to make Al sink down on the chair again. She kept staring. Why the hell did she do that? Could she not just look away so he could flee and feel sick in peace?

Carefully, he took the fork again. Gracia placed some toast on the table. Buttered.

Elicia still was staring at him, and it didn´t appear as if she was going to stop anytime soon.

Al took a deep breath to calm his stomach and looked down at the plate.

This was going to be… a challenge.

* * *

They decided to revive their halting alchemic research. Ed had laid out their notes on the table in the living room while Roy took it upon himself to make some more coffee. They would need it, and after having made breakfast there really was no point in pretending he was just a casual guest anymore by letting Edward provide the caffeine.

Everything was ready, and technically they could start, but there was one thing Roy felt obligated to mention once they sat down next to each other.

"I´m missing a pair of gloves," Mustang said, while his gaze shifted to the man next to him.

Ed, who was biting his lips in concentration, stopped what he was doing.

"I left them in the office before leaving for my appointment the other day. Did you see them?" the Colonel questioned further, his tone betraying a mild edge of curiosity.

Edward blushed. "Uhm… yeah," he said, clearly embarrassed. "I wanted to give them to you yesterday, but they were still wet." At Roy's arched up eyebrow the blond continued. "I washed them," he admitted. "I took them for some research and.. uhm… spilled something on them."

Mustang stared at him.

That was just…

When he saw the blush appear, Roy was almost sure his suspicions were true. Of course Ed's embarrassment could be due to borrowing the gloves without asking and getting them dirty in any number of innocent ways, but somehow Roy didn't think so. Just what kind of research was the man talking about? Was he talking about researching his body's reactions to the rough material, or was he talking about alchemy? And just what did the man spill on them? Coffee, semen, something else?

"Care to be more specific?" Roy questioned further.

Beside him, Ed shifted on the couch uncomfortably and looked away. "Not really," he said.

"Edward."

"You don´t want to know," the younger alchemist assured him.

Now Roy was intrigued. What the hell had the man done to his gloves?! He now hoped that Ed _had_ used them a sexual toy, because knowing Ed and his motivations for alchemic research - Roy suddenly feared the worst.

"I do," Roy insisted. He really did. The answer he got was not the one he wanted to hear.

"No."

Now he took to glaring.

Ed glared right back. He was in no position to glare, but that didn't hinder the stubborn man. Then the blond stood up and left the room. Roy was about to follow or at least ask him where he was going but it soon became clear.

The blond returned from the bathroom and placed the gloves on the table. Roy snatched them up and observed them. He couldn´t find anything out of ordinary.

He looked to the man standing next to him and asked, "What did you do with them?"

The other alchemist frowned. "They´re fine," he grumbled, obviously not willing to explain.

"That's not what I asked," the Colonel said slowly. If Ed deliberately spilled some chemicals on his gloves… huh, maybe he should look up if there was an array to analyze trace chemicals. If not, he'd design one.

The Colonel could hear the younger man huff in irritation, then the blond took the gloves from his hands and laid them on the table.

Mustang glared at him, but Edward showed no sign of noticing. Instead, he proceeded to straddle the older man's legs and leaned down to kiss him.

Well...

Roy wrapped his arms around the younger man and returned the kiss. Ed hummed slightly and Roy could feel the lips against his breaking off the kiss in favor for a smile.

"Are you trying to distract me?" Roy wanted to know, not sure if he was amused or annoyed.

Both feelings faded a bit when Ed leaned down to nibble at his neck. "Is it working?" he asked against Roy's skin, then bit down.

Roy took a deep breath when arousal hit him like a sledgehammer. He didn´t even need to answer. He was sure the beginning bulge in his trousers would answer that question better than any words.

"That´s not exactly subtle," he said while he tilted his head to the side and let his hands slip underneath Ed's shirt.

The younger man let go of his neck and looked at him. There was more than just a small amount of humor in those golden eyes, but lust was starting to take over.

"Subtle?" The young man pressed a light kiss to Roy's lips. "When have I ever been subtle?"

He obviously didn't care for an answer, because he resumed the kiss, this time much rougher. Teeth were nipping at Roy's bottom lip and he found himself kissing back, pressing against Ed and pushing his tongue past plump lips to claim the other's mouth. On his lap, Edward shifted a bit closer to Roy's groin as the younger man's hands buried themselves in black hair and his tongue greeted Roy's in a very exciting manner.

For a few moments, all they did was exchanging heated kisses, but soon enough, the arousal grew and Roy's pants started to become uncomfortably tight. He wrapped his arms around Ed's waist and flipped their positions. He might have been more careful if this was a woman in his lap, but he was sure the hot-blooded man wouldn´t mind. There was no sound of protest coming from Ed over the rough treatment, but the damn brat bit his lips more forcefully than needed when he pulled the older man back down for a kiss.

There was a sharp tint of pain when Ed bit him. and Roy reacted instantly by thrusting his hips against the man underneath him. He could feel the lean thighs against his sides tremble and Ed broke the kiss off, moaning at the friction. The sound melded with Roy's own groan as the older alchemist buried his face against the tanned and still bruised neck.

Oh fuck. The whole situation was proceeding almost ridiculously fast. Just moments ago they were close to fighting. Now Roy was drowning in lust and arousal, and he couldn´t stop himself from grinding against Ed. He couldn´t remember the last time it felt so good to dry hump someone. But then, it had been a while ... and… he really shouldn't do this ... because ...

Shit! Roy stopped.

Ed didn´t. The man unceremoniously reached between their bodies and went for Roy's belt. The older man's attempts to think went into slow motion when he felt one of Ed's hands slip further down to pressed against his still trapped erection while the other began pulling the leather from the buckle.

Roy let out a panting breath. He could feel his limbs getting weak. He started grinding against the hand fondling his erection through his pants slowly, so as not to hinder Ed's other hand from opening his belt and trousers. Once they were open, the younger man's left hand slipped right into his shorts and pulled his dick free while his automail hand reached for his own belt.

It took all Roy's dwindling restraint not to come right then. He quickly reached for Ed's hand and griped it hard, forcing it away from his straining erection. At the same time, he concentrated on sucking on the younger man's neck. There was no chance he was going to hold out if the Edward started stroking him again.

The blond let out a needy moan and arched up. The sound was unbelievably arousing. The friction, although faint because of the blonde's disadvantageous position, was effectively killing Roy's brain, and the older alchemist automatically started to move against the man beneath him. His erection, free of its cage, was grinding against the still trapped hardness beneath it. Roy moaned, while Ed let out an almost desperate groan and his automail hand started to frantically pull at his own belt. Roy stopped his grinding, and while leaning on one arm to hold himself up, his free hand quickly assisted Ed in opening his belt and pants.

"Roy…" The man interrupted himself, moaning aloud when Roy started to shove his pants down. "Ooh…fuck.." The blond let his head fall back as his own hard member finally slipped free. "We need to…" The words were slurred and barely understandable, but Ed took a deep breath and finally managed to get another word out. "Bedroom."

In Roy's opinion, the couch was absolutely fine. He proceeded to peel Ed's trousers off, but the blond quickly stopped his hand.

Mustang looked up to the blond's face, who was attempting to catch his breath. He looked absolutely kissable and Roy had no qualms about acting on that. The kiss was returned just as heatedly, but quickly broke off.

"We need to get to the bedroom. There's-" He practically melted into the next kiss and took much longer to break it off again and continue to speak. "Uhm… No lube in here. We need to-"

Roy stopped short at the words and stared at Edward.

The young man stared back.

"What? I´m not going to keep that stuff all over the place when Al's staying over."

Of course that would be why Edward thought Roy was staring at him, why he thought Roy had stopped what he was doing. If only that were Roy's real problem.

"Uhm.. Ed… " The Colonel had no idea just how to tell him that yes, this clearly was leading to sex, and Roy obviously had no problems with getting it up for the younger male, but he still wouldn´t fuck him. His mind was racing in an attempt to find a reasonable explanation that did not include the truth.

At the prolonged hesitation, Roy could see the other man's eyebrows draw together in a displeased frown.

"Don´t tell me you… I swear to you, if you want to do it dry, it´s going to be your ass that´s sore for days, not mine," the young man said, and Mustang had absolutely no doubt Ed would make good on that promise if Roy suggested fucking him without preparation. Not that he intended to. He had no desire to hurt the man.

"No!" Roy quickly assured him. "That´s not it."

For a few moments, there was silence.

"Okay." Ed said slowly. "I´m not drunk anymore, so it´s not that advantage-taking shit."

Roy tried not to wince. He really, really needed an explanation. Fast.

Beneath him, Edward shifted a bit. And Roy took a deep breath.

"You don´t have trouble getting it up," the blond said and his tone reminded the Colonel a bit of Doctor Streng. The scientist in Ed was analyzing the situation in hopes of reaching a conclusion. "And I don´t think it´s the automail."

While Roy didn´t doubt that there were people who might react negatively to metal prostheses in bed, Ed would be an idiot to think that Roy would object given his obvious interest. And while the point of Ed 'being an idiot' might be debatable in some situations, this was not one of them.

And maybe Roy himself should just stop acting like an idiot, because looking at this whole thing objectively, his behavior was stupid in the extreme.

The damn bet was really fucking up Roy's life and he still had more than a week left. Considering his current track record with the other alchemist, even if he talked his way out of doing it right now, it wouldn´t be the last time Roy would need to. Hell, the only way he could realistically prevent getting into another situation like this with Edward before the bet's time limit ticked out was to avoid the younger alchemist completely, but that would be a very difficult task. Edward would still want an explanation, and the young man had gained quite a bit of skill in shutting Roy's higher brain functions off when he wanted to. And if Roy did manage to successfully push Ed aside for the remainder of the bet without giving him a convincing reason for doing so, Roy ran the risk of never getting any further with the blond at all.

Looking down at the man underneath him who was looking expectantly back, Roy took a deep breath and decided to take a chance.

"Ed… there's something I need to tell you."

**Tbc.**

* * *

Sooo... what do you think? ^^ (besides maybe the fact that I love cliffhanger way to much?)

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Guest: Thank you for your review ^^ I´m glad this time you didn´t have to wait that long for your mail :D I´m also happy you liked the last chapter, including that little slow down :D It´s also nice to see someone who like to see trouble heading someone´s way and appreciates the mood ^^

I´m honored you created an account just for this fic o.O Really, I´m a bit speechless right now and that´s saying something XD You´re too kind *bows*

As for other stories: I could give some recommendations but the list is probably a bit long to put it in-chapter. If you have an account, I´d love to hear from you through pm. There are a few very well written fics that really are worth your time ^^


	36. The Beans and the Bombshell

**A/N: **Happy New Year! :D I wish you all an amazing year 2013!

**Beta&Co-Author: **Ca11iope ^^ I don't think I will ever stop from thanking you :D Once again, thanks for a wonderful job done ^^ and thanks for the title XD At least when you do write them, they are longer than one word ^^°

* * *

**Chapter 35: The Beans and the Bombshell**

Still Day 21

Roy looked at the man underneath him.

And the words stuck in his throat. Suddenly, the whole situation around the bet seemed completely ridiculous. Ed appeared increasingly uncomfortable while Mustang contemplated how to begin explaining this.

"Roy?" The blond man's voice broke through the Colonel's thoughts, and yes, Ed definitely sounded uncomfortable.

The older man wondered what he might think if he were in Ed's position, a potential lover slamming on the brakes in the middle of a heavy make-out session, then hesitating to explain why. It wouldn't be anything good, that was for sure.

Shit.

True, Roy could definitely be an asshole sometimes. A manipulative Bastard, as Ed liked to call him. But he was not a coward. He could do this. He just needed a suitable starting point, though blurting out, 'There's a bet going on' probably wasn´t it.

For a moment, the Colonel considered dodging this by using the old 'I want to take it slow' escape clause, but immediately thought better of it. Edward knew him, knew who Roy was, knew his reputation, and Roy knew that kind of copout would blow right back into his face.

Unless he had a decent excuse to tack on to it. One that would not give Ed the impression that Roy's intentions were more serious than they actually were.

Damn. This was complicated, and complications made everything more dangerous.

When lying, there were a few things to avoid at all costs. Improvising was fine, as long as it was kept simple. But inventing a complicated story on the spur of the moment for someone as intelligent as Ed… bad move. Time had to be taken to construct a plausible tale, which was not an option here. Ed wasn't stupid. He would question the details, particularly if they seemed contrived. Roy would be better served by opting for some short-lived lie. It could work, as long as he could concoct a believable reason for his lie. It would at least give him time to come up with something better later.

But when building a complex series of lies, the most important rule of all was to either keep the number of people knowing about it small, or to have a large group of people ready to back the story up if necessary.

So, how many people knew the truth of the matter?

Breda. Havoc. Fuery. Falman. Hawkeye. Hughes. And the rest of the fucking military.

How many people could he count on to back up his story?

. . .

Maybe spilling the fucking beans was his best option after all.

Roy cleared his throat before speaking. "I need to explain something to you, so please hear me out first before you –" What? Before freaking out? Before kicking his ass and throwing him out? Before wanting nothing more to do with him? Roy uncomfortably swallowed the lump in his throat. "-make a decision."

One blond eyebrow arched up, then golden eyes narrowed.

It took a few moments before Ed slowly nodded.

The moment Roy opened his mouth to begin, there was a knock at the door.

He froze.

No way.

The knock repeated.

Roy groaned.

Roy wanted to burn to a crisp whoever was writing the shitty script that was currently his life. Things like this didn´t happen in real life. This was what happened in a miserable, character torturing novel written by some sadist who got their kicks by putting the protagonist into the most awkward situations imaginable.

"Ignore it," he told Ed, pleadingly. Whoever it was would go away if they though no one was at home.

"Yo, Roy!" Maes voice was clear through the door.

Mustang closed his eyes in defeat while Edward sighed. Both men knew that Maes Hughes wouldn't give up until he found a way in, and a locked door would not stop him.

The older alchemist took a deep breath, then lifted himself off the younger man. Ed blinked in irritation and looked down towards Roy's lap. The eyebrow rose again.

It figured. The general was not at all impressed with the situation and had decided to ignore everything that had happened since the moment Roy had decided to talk to Edward about the bet. Despite the fact that the change of mood had pretty effectively killed Ed's arousal, Roy's own boner was refusing to back down. And while Roy himself had come to terms with his body's reaction to the lack of sex, Edward appeared both irritated and intrigued by the fact that even the imminent, unwanted arrival of the nosiest, most meddlesome man in the Amestrian military – no, make that all of Amestris - had done nothing to diminish Roy's erection.

"I´ll send him away," Ed said, getting up and pulling his own clothes into place. "And then we´ll…" his eyes wandered down towards Roy's lap and he bit his lip "..talk." The blond's sour tone told Mustang exactly who he blamed for talk being necessary at all.

Roy grimaced the moment Edward turned away.

Right. Talk. As if he wouldn´t prefer to be doing something else. But with this damn bet in the way, there was nothing else to be done but deal with it.

Sighing, Roy looked down. He was not going to be able to close his pants in his current state of arousal and –

Hughes burst into the room, closely followed by a clearly pissed Edward Elric. So much for sending Hughes away. He should have known.

Then Maes noticed Roy's state of undress and the very prominent reason for it, pointing straight at the Investigations officer like an accusing finger. He stopped as abruptly as if he had run into a wall.

"Oh." Maes said.

Roy scowled back. Without any effect.

Hughes grinned. "Morning, Roy!" he said cheerfully. He didn´t greet the general as well, although Roy could see the mischief in his friend's eyes. "Bad timing?"

"Hughes." Edward growled behind him, quite livid. Uh oh.

Hughes only lifted his hands defensively. "Don´t worry, Ed. We shared a dorm in academy. That´s nothing I haven't seen before."

Oh yes, that he had. Sending a dark look in his friend's direction, Roy attempted to stuff his package back into his pants. Edward was radiating murderous intent right now, all directed towards the Investigations officer.

"I don´t care about that! You don´t have to -" Ed bit his lip, cutting his own sentence off.

Now, wasn't that just a delightful note of jealousy in his voice? Roy couldn´t help but smirk, even though his attempts to get fully dressed were beyond uncomfortable.

Once he managed to wrestle his manhood back into his pants, Roy hesitated. Jealousy had not been the only thing he had heard in Ed's tone. There also was a rather heavily weighted bit of pure possessiveness there. Roy noticed that he had stopped wondering over the fact that he did not mind at all.

But Hughes obviously deemed it worthy of notice, because his eyes moved away from Roy and looked to Edward. Who stared right back stubbornly with a hard and demanding gleam in his golden eyes. For a few seconds, the two stared at each other down, and although he should see to it that his pants got closed, Roy couldn´t help but observe the encounter with all his attention.

Maes' green eyes narrowed, but the blond alchemist was not about to back down. At. All. Roy was pleased that someone else had to deal with Ed's stubborn nature, and was particularly pleased that it was the man who had interrupted a rather important discussion. Come to think of it, Maes was also the reason why a discussion was necessary to interrupt other, more pleasurable activities in the first place.

The Investigations officer finally caved and turned his back towards the couch, giving Roy the not really necessary privacy Ed was demanding, and the Colonel couldn´t help but chuckle.

Ed's eyes shifted back to Roy, and Mustang quickly returned to the dreaded task of getting his pants closed. To describe the process as uncomfortable would be like saying Riza kind of liked guns, phrasing it away to harmlessness. There was a throbbing ache in his lower stomach similar to cramps, and the pressure his closed pants put on his manhood actually hurt his balls. Getting the fly up and the button closed felt like the first stage of thumbscrew torture - not yet really painful, but still far from enjoyable.

The corner of Ed's mouth twitched, betraying a hint of amusement over the amount of trouble Roy had in becoming decent.

"So… I´ve obviously interrupted something," Maes stated to the wall. "Just how far did you two…"

"There is nothing you need to know," Roy cut in quickly, then wondered why he didn´t just outright tell Hughes that he had not lost the bet. After all, just a moment ago he was about to tell Edward what was going on. This was not the way Roy wanted the blond to find out about the ongoing wager however, so that bombshell would have to wait until later.

Roy finally finished packing himself away and pointedly cleared his throat as a signal for Hughes to turn around again. When the man did, his gaze instantly shifted to Roy's now trapped but thankfully calming boner.

"What the hell is with you people?" Ed muttered darkly. "Why the fuck does everybody around here think it's okay to stick their noses into things that are none of their business?"

Instantly, both Hughes and Roy perked up.

"Everybody?" Maes voiced the question on his friend's mind as well. 'Everybody' definitely implied more than just Hughes, and the Investigations officer got a hint as to why Ed had suddenly been reluctant to accept his job offer.

Ed just groaned, realizing his slip had set him up for a grilling.

"Who exactly is 'everybody', Ed?" Roy wanted to know.

The blond just rolled his eyes. Clearly he was not willing to discuss the matter. Ed turned to square off against Hughes once more. "Why exactly are you here?" The blond bluntly changed the subject.

There was a moment of silence, and Roy could almost hear the wheels turning in Maes' head as his friend contemplated what to do. Finally he decided to let the current matter drop and return to the reason for his presence.

"I need to have a talk with Roy," Maes stated. "In private." And when it appeared that Ed was ready to lose his temper over one of the many reasons he could lose his temper over right then – the time, the interruption, the invasion of his home – Maes quickly added, "It´s urgent."

Ed's golden eyes shifted toward him again, and Roy knew he was in a tight spot. Roy didn't have to wonder what the younger man was probably thinking right now; Roy saying 'There is something I have to tell you' was probably rocketing through his mind. Hughes' timing was beyond bad.

The urge to prevent Edward's thoughts from running further down a track Roy did not want them to go was almost overwhelming. Mentally, he cursed Hughes, and for a moment he was quite tempted to call the man out and insist that they have the discussion Maes deemed urgent right now, in front of Ed. At least that way the younger alchemist wouldn´t have to second guess what was going on.

But there were too many ways that course of action could go wrong when the Colonel didn´t know what it was Hughes wanted to talk to him about.

Roy stood up and moved to the door. "I´ll see you soon," he promised, as the blond man silently watched him get ready to leave. And when they did see each other again, both of them knew that explanations were in order.

It felt uncomfortable to leave like this. Edward probably didn't think very highly of him at the moment. The young blond knew his former superior was keeping something from him, and after all Roy had done to gain Edward's trust, leaving with Maes for a private discussion was bound to be a major setback. And that didn´t even take into account the fact that Roy Mustang, the infamous ladies man of Central City, had stopped them before they could sleep together. He really hoped Ed wouldn´t connect Maes' behavior to Roy's, and instead view the two situations as separate events.

Roy expected Ed's reaction to him under the current circumstances to include anything from being suspiciously observed, ignored, thrown out, or result in perhaps a stubborn refusal to let Roy and Maes leave without some sort of explanation.

He certainly did not expect the blond to pull him in for an intense good bye kiss.

There were absolutely no words to describe the relief Roy felt when the younger man's lips caressed his own. By some miracle, Ed was not angry. Suspicious, oh yes. But he was obviously not about to cut everything off without giving Roy a chance to explain. The Colonel was extremely grateful that Ed had grown up a good bit while away, because a few years ago this scenario would have ended very differently.

"I´ll stop by on Monday at your lunch break," the younger alchemist said.

Nodding slightly, Roy leaned down to kiss him again, suddenly on no hurry to leave. Ed was willing to hear him out. He could work this out. The last thing he wanted to do right now was let go.

And while Hughes pointedly cleared his throat, the younger alchemist wrapped his arms around Roy's neck and returned the increasingly passionate kiss. Huh, maybe Maes could wait a bit longer. Outside the building, where he wouldn´t bother them again anytime soon.

"Roy."

Something about the tone the Lieutenant Colonel used finally caused the Colonel to break off the kiss. Looking down at the slightly panting blond, he noticed a slightly mischievous smirk on the younger alchemist's lips. Ed used his hold on Mustang's neck to draw him back down. Roy could literally see the mischief in Ed's eyes and knew that if he didn´t leave now, the blond would do his very best to see just how long he could drag this out. And in light of Maes' recent behavior, making the Lieutenant Colonel wait would probably be considered a nice side effect.

And damn, Ed was very eager to make Hughes wait. The way he slightly nipped at Roy's bottom lip before pressing his lips against the Colonel's mouth was more than just enjoyable, and Mustang found himself unwilling pay attention to anything but the blond.

Hughes at least had enough patience to wait another few moments before he called out Roy's name again, but when he tried to pull back, mismatched hands buried their fingers in his dark hair. Ed opened his mouth to let Roy's tongue in, and for a few seconds, the blond let him explore the warm mouth before attempting to regain control of the kiss. Oh, Roy liked the resistance. He was more than happy it was back. Unfortunately, a certain part of Roy's anatomy still had not completely recovered from the last time Ed had kissed him like this. And that particular part of Roy's body was clearly demonstrating its delight at getting Edward's attention again.

There was no way he could handle yet another hard on he wouldn´t be able to satisfy so quickly after the last one, and he was well on his way to getting one. Roy let go of the smaller man and sighed in regret.

"I´ll see you tomorrow," he said.

He could feel Edward's eyes on him as he followed Maes out of the apartment.

* * *

In the small hours of the morning at Central Headquarters, one man entered an office, while another stood outside the slightly open door to keep guard. Both men had volunteered for guard duty this weekend, and a few clever changes in the duty schedule had brought them exactly where they wanted to be.

"Can´t that guy make anything easy?" the lower ranked man cursed as he sifted through various lists. It was fortunate that the list they were after wasn't very long, and the soldier was grateful that the higher ups were usually lazy bastards.

"A freaking Monday. It just had to be a damn freaking Monday," he continued to mutter under his breath. "What´s wrong with Tuesday? We could have done this on a regular work day instead of having to come here on a Sunday."

"Stop whining," the other man quietly told him. "You should be glad it´s Sunday. Imagine trying to do this, write the memos and deliver them without anyone noticing, all on top of our regular work? That would have sucked."

The lower ranked soldier grimaced. "Don't talk about… " he broke off with a shake of his head. "I don´t even want to think about it." He shuddered.

His partner grinned ferally. "See, that´s why we´re doing this. We've been planning this for a long time. Can you image what would have happened if we never found out? Would you ever have guessed-"

He broke off in the middle of the sentence when voices were heard down the corridor. Quickly, the two pocketed the whole schedule and left the office, just before another patrol, one male and one female soldier, turned the corner.

The three men and one woman greeted each other with slight nods. The moment the woman and man rounded the corner at the other end of the hall, the schedule was pulled out again. The higher ranked of the pair ran a finger down the list, grinning when he found the name he was looking for.

"And you thought this wasn't going to be easy. The timing is perfect." The man beside him grimaced again but said nothing. The ranking officer checked the other two names in the same time slot. "A private and a corporal...that´s all? Damn, our guys really are lazy." He shook his head. It was pretty obvious that most soldiers didn´t know about being able to book the gym during working hours.

The other man looked where his superior was pointing. "You´re right, it's almost too easy," he hummed in satisfaction. "These two won´t ask questions when they find these little guys in their mail." He waved a small block of military memos in his partner's face and smiled in satisfaction.

* * *

Roy actually winced when he sat down in the passenger seat of Hughes' car.

Goddamn it. This was just no longer natural. His dick should have calmed down by now, but being as stubborn as its owner, the boner refused to listen to anything that did not fit its agenda. The slight frustration Roy had felt when he left Ed in his apartment was increasing with every step he had to take while his body continued to remind him that he used to be a very sexually active man and his needs had not vanished with a signature on a bet. The thumbscrew feeling was back, and it was slowly driving him nuts.

Hughes actually had the nerve to send a sympathetic glance his way. "The bet is really messing with you, isn´t it?" Maes observed.

If it weren´t for the caring tone in his voice, the Colonel would have glared at him. After all, Hughes was one of the people who had initiated that damn thing.

Neither man spoke.

Looking at Maes, without anything to distract his mind, Roy instantly remembered his recent dream. And what it had dug out of his memory.

And once again he found himself conflicted. While he watched Hughes start the engine, a part of him urged him to forget about the whole thing. It's been years. Maes was married. Nothing had ever happened after that night, and clearly it had no impact on their friendship, so why bother bringing it up now? Was there anything relevant about it anymore? The matter was done. Over.

When all was said and done it had really just been another one night stand, hadn't it? Sure, Roy didn't usually become friends with his flings, or have flings with his friends, but…

He could not forget those tiny three words Hughes had uttered to him. That damn confession of love...

But after all this time, what did it matter? It was all in the past, old news. It was clear that Maes loved his fucking _wife_. Who he was _married _to. The mother of his _child_.

Yes, Roy was an anal and controlling bastard, and yes, finding out about that disconcerting twist to their shared past had thrown Roy off balance. But would it really hurt so much to just let the matter rest in peace?

Luckily, before his mind decided to become schizophrenic, his friend started talking.

"Roy, I admit I had not expected this whole bet business to influence you so much, but you haven't exactly been acting like yourself the past few weeks."

Sighing while he adjusted his seat so he wouldn´t have to sit up straight, Mustang muttered absently, "You have to be more specific, Maes."

When the seat was adjusted, he sighed in relief. And as his member once again surrendered to the lack of stimulation, the tightness in his pants finally eased a bit, although it didn´t completely vanish. In addition to that, the uncomfortable aching in his lower stomach remained, and the frustration was making him decidedly cranky. He shifted uncomfortably in the seat.

Besides him, Maes still hadn´t pulled away from the curb. Instead, the man sighed.

"I´m talking about this… thing you have going with Ed," Hughes stated more precisely.

The alchemist immediately felt annoyed. "This _thing_?" he repeated, putting emphasis on the vague word. The irritation was very evident in his voice, and of course Hughes noticed, and frowned.

"Whatever it is you're doing." Maes elaborated with a sigh. "Roy…" he stopped and took a deep breath.

Mustang just glared. He was the one who had said that he and Ed were not in a relationship, but calling it a 'thing' still felt wrong.

Maes finally continued. "Look, I understand that you're off balance right now, but you´ve never been someone who avoided looking at the big picture. You always plan for the long run." The Lieutenant Colonel cast a penetrating gaze at his friend, and the alchemist became wary. "So what exactly are you doing?"

Well, it was true that Roy usually planned things down to the last, fine detail. But it was also true that this 'thing' with Edward had been anything but planned. And other than making basic plans for a date or their next meeting, Roy had actually stopped depending on prearranged plans and possible outcomes when it came to the blond.

Plans and Edward were simply incompatible.

Even when Roy's schemes actually worked, the younger alchemist still usually turned things in a completely unpredictable direction.

And actually, that should drive Roy absolutely crazy. Should, but didn't. It wasn't like Roy minded when the man suddenly started to talk about his former lover, right out of the blue. Quite the contrary. Roy _wanted_ that information.

Or when Edward had initiated that first make out session on his couch. Roy smiled fondly at the memory. Nothing was as boring as a predictable lover, and well… this promised to be anything but boring.

"Good Lord, _Roy_." This time, Hughes voice exposed some irritation as well. "Did you hear a word I just said?"

Mustang barely caught himself before allowing a questioning 'Huh?' to betray his lack of attention, aware of the fact that he had not even noticed that Maes had continued to talk. Hell, Roy hadn't even noticed when the man started driving.

"Of course I did. Go on," Roy lied. He saw the doubt appear in Hughes' green eyes, but hoped the man was above asking him to repeat what had just been said.

Fortunately the man repeated himself anyway, just to make sure his point came across.

"As I was saying-" Hughes started with a meaningful glance that told the alchemist his lie had been wasted, "- you should consider the possible consequences of your actions. Whatever this is you´re doing, it can´t go on."

Roy froze. What the hell?

"Excuse me?" he asked, his anger building. "I don´t remember asking for your advice, Maes. Who I date is none of your business. And I actually thought you would encourage this, since you want to win this damn bet so badly."

"Who you date? Roy, this is Edward Elric we're talking about, not one of your trifling dates." The bespectacled man shook his head. "And you can deny it as much as you want, but you are leading him on. What do you expect to happen when the bet is over?"

Biting his lip in irritation, Roy glared at the man. "I'll find out when the time comes," he growled. "I´m not planning this, Maes. I just want to see where it leads."

The look Roy received spoke volumes about Maes thoughts on his friend's uncharacteristic let's-wait-and-see attitude.

"Really Roy?" Maes tone was mild, but Roy was not fooled. "It's really not that difficult to predict. Let me lay it out for you." Hughes kept his eyes fixed on the road. "When the bet has run its course, you will take Edward to your bed. And afterwards you'll realize that it's not what you expected, and that Ed's not what you really want."

If the situation was any different, Roy probably would have chuckled at the thought of putting 'Ed' and 'expected' in the same sentence. Under the circumstances however, Roy was becoming more than simply irritated by his friend's overbearing behavior.

"And maybe I'll realize he's exactly what I need," The Colonel shot back heatedly. Ignoring the exasperated look Maes sent his way, he continued. "I might not know for sure what will happen, but it's my decision whether I want to start something with Ed or not. And if it doesn't work out, it's still Edward's and my business alone. Not yours, _so back off_."

When he and Maes argued over a difference of opinion they generally managed to keep it from getting personal, but the Investigations officer was way out of line. This was not something Roy wanted to talk about. He did not want to analyze what _might_ be, _might_ happen, or what someone _might_ think. He just wanted to go with what felt right for once. Not his usual modus operandi, that was for sure, but that didn't mean he shouldn´t do it.

And all through the current conversation, the nagging thought of his own behavior after that one night stand with Hughes came back to Roy's mind. He wondered if his cruel comments, unwittingly about Maes himself, were the reason for Maes' assumption that once he slept with Ed, Roy would callously break the whole thing off. Then he mentally shook himself. These parallels were to be expected considering the situation. He shouldn´t let the past influence the current situation. Especially not now.

"Glad to see you're still thinking about this as 'Ed's business' too," Maes said flatly. "I know about that little 'someone you like' argument you used on him in the museum to convince him to buy that painting. We both know that wasn't the only thing you were trying to convince him to do." Hughes said, making a visible effort to control his own irritation.

"I _thought_ that guy was one of your spies." Mustang muttered.

The other man waved that aside. "He´s one of Arschloch's men, but that´s not the point." Taking a deep breath, Maes continued. "The point is that you are manipulating Ed, leading him on just for the sake of this ... this ... sexual experiment, or whatever it is. An experiment that will most likely fail, given your track record. And who stands to suffer the most when it does?"

His friend's words hit Roy like a slap in the face. He stared at Hughes incredulously.

Hughes sighed and glanced over, taking in Roy's stunned expression.

"I`m sorry. That came out all wrong," he apologized, leaving Mustang to wonder how a statement like that could come out right. "I´m just worried about you, and about Ed," Maes said after a moment. "He´s pretty much reshaping his life right now because of you, and I wonder if you´re even aware of this. I know I've been doing some maneuvering of my own to keep him in Central for my own reasons, but Roy…" Hughes shrugged. "As far as I can tell, you're doing it for purely selfish reasons. You don't want a relationship, but you don't seem to care what Ed wants. The risk he's taking is far outweighs what you have to offer. He doesn't deserve to be treated like one of your inconsequential affairs."

Well, at least they agreed on this. Roy certainly did not consider Ed some inconsequential affair, and once again the Colonel wondered just where he and Ed were heading. However, he also had to admit that he _had_ done everything in his power to manipulate Ed into staying in Central – and he still had no concrete answer on that score. So much for planning anything Ed-related.

"Here's something else you should consider," Maes continued. "On any other day I wouldn't ask this, but given the situation and your uncharacteristic behavior of late, I feel I have to. Have you thought about what might happen when you break this thing off, if Ed is employed as a consultant for the military? Maybe even working in that position we talked about? I know you don´t usually mix your private life with your professional life, which is a good policy. You know how dangerous that can be. For both of you."

Leaning back, Roy closed his eyes. So far he had only considered how hooking up with Ed might benefit _him_, and that was a mistake. In all honesty Roy was not used to putting himself in his bed partner's position – they were just a rapidly changing blur of faces really, only there for the mutual satisfaction of basic urges. Edward was admittedly different in that respect, and faced with all the things Roy should have considered long ago, he knew he was losing ground in this argument. But although he knew he should just stop for a moment, step back and think everything through, part of him simply refused to accept that he should reconsider this whole… experiment with Ed.

"You don´t know Fullmetal very well if you think he´ll just screw up the whole country out of spite, like some petty jilted lover," Roy said, not sure if he regretted calling Edward 'Fullmetal' or not. And what the fuck gave Maes the right to talk as if the outcome of all this was already clear and set?

Beside him, the other man huffed, sounding almost desperate.

"Roy, this is Ed we're talking about. Ninety percent of his actions are led by pure impulse!" Hughes pointed out.

Opening his eyes, Mustang looked out at the street in front of them, not really seeing it.

He thought about yesterday, when Ed had stated he needed to be careful and not get drunk. About the way the younger man avoided displaying anything that could be taken as more than friendship in public unless he was either drunk, or Roy worked very hard to get him comfortably relaxed naturally. He thought about the years Ed had been his subordinate, and how he had always played his cards so very close to his chest. He thought about Ed's current, almost unnatural control of his explosive temper. Yes, Ed was impulsive. But he was also loyal almost to a fault. His friends and family were very important to him. And he had a natural talent for helping those in need. A more noble soul Roy had never met.

"He´s grown up quite a bit, in case you haven´t noticed," Roy told his friend.

Maes sent a quick glance his way and stayed silent for a few seconds, likely thinking about his own failed attempts to pry information out of Edward.

"He may have grown up, but still…" Hughes paused for a moment, planning his attack. "Fine, let´s talk about this rationally. He was about to move into another town. Now he wants to stay."

"You had a hand in that, too," the Colonel reminded him.

"I didn´t use his emotional state against him. I have kept his best interests firmly in mind."

For a moment, Roy prayed for his dwindling self control to hang on just a little longer. After this discussion, he would have to go and burn something. That might be the only way for him to calm down.

"Plans and priorities change, there is nothing wrong with Ed changing his." Maes looked askance, so Roy elaborated. "Of course I know that Ed will always consider the emotional ramifications of his decisions, so when giving advice, why would I avoid them?"

"Right now he must suspect that you are keeping something from him," Hughes took his next shot. "Yet he just let you walk out on him, and didn´t ask questions."

"Are you seriously holding how I have gained his trust against me? It´s not like this is any of your concern, but I _am_ going talk with him later. Like adults do," Mustang countered, not really able to keep the biting undertone out of his voice.

"It's not just that! But it´s obvious he depends on you a great deal to help him make decisions and-"

"He doesn´t _depend_ on me." Mustang interrupted. "He considers my opinion, and then makes his own decisions. He trusts my judgment. Just like you should." He couldn´t help but add that jab, not when Hughes seemed determined to overrun Roy's arguments.

"Should he? That much?" Hughes asked, and Roy had the sudden urge to hit his friend.

It was not like him to feel this way, especially not towards Maes. But that didn´t change the fact that Roy felt beyond defensive over this. His emotions were overriding and muddling his usually precise tactical arguments.

Maes continued before his friend's violent intent became overwhelming. "Maybe he's reading more into your motives simply because you're currently not sleeping around as much as you used to."

Mustang tried to keep himself from snapping. The equally biting tone in Maes' voice was proof enough that the lack of progress in this absurd discussion was getting on Hughes' nerves just as much as on his. Knowing that whatever he said now would not contribute to this argument in a positive manner, Roy took a deep breath and tried calm himself down.

Hughes, however, took advantage of the silence to continue.

"Have you even considered that Ed expects more that you are willing to give? I really don't see Ed as the type to get involved with someone just out of curiosity."

Maes had better not be more specific about what exactly he meant by curiosity. Roy knew he would not like the answer. And Maes would not like Roy's reaction to it.

"You should just stop this whole mess right now, before the damage gets out of hand," Hughes finally concluded.

While Mustang didn´t literally snap, something inside of him did.

"I will do no such thing!" he practically snarled. "And I won´t listen to this anymore. I value your opinion, but this is none of your business!" he stated vehemently. Then, with a grimace, he added: "If it were up to you, I'd have been married to some damn mousy housewife years ago, and with absolutely no offense to your preferred life style, I'd be bored to death."

Hughes snorted. "Is that what this is about? The challenge? Please don´t tell me you´re willing to mess with Ed just for a short lived adrenalin rush."

Roy took a deep breath, but Maes was already continuing, picking up the volume to show that he wouldn´t be interrupted.

"Marriage can be very fulfilling in ways your flings won´t ever be. But you won´t even consider the possibility that a wife will do you good! A woman to stand at your side, Roy! A partner! A wife who will give birth to your children one day! Until a few weeks ago, you wouldn´t even _think_ of bedding a man, and now you're…" He huffed. "I don´t even have words for this!"

He probably had a lot of words in mind, but Roy had a pretty good idea that none of them would be very flattering. Not that he cared right now about Maes' opinion.

"And now I want to fuck Ed." He finished in a matter-of-fact-tone of voice. "So what? I´m entitled to have sex with whomever I wish."

"Of course you are." Frustration was creeping back into Hughes' voice. "I´m not saying you aren't." The man seemed resigned for a moment. "But right now, not only are you letting your lust interfere with what might be your only shot at getting a great deal of control over the State Alchemist program, you're also leading Ed, a young man who trusts you, on."

"I already told you -" Roy started again, unnerved over the circle in their discussion.

"And you´re wrong!" Hughes interrupted him heatedly. Staring at his friend, Mustang stopped short. It was not like Maes to get this emotional in an argument. "Stop acting like a fool and admit it. You can´t tell me you wouldn´t expect more of this if you were in Ed's place."

Roy knew that Maes was right, but what his friend didn't realize was that Roy wasn´t out to just fuck Edward. He wasn't exactly sure what he wanted from the young man anymore, but he rather preferred to just let things develop. So far, it had been good. So what if he was leading Ed on? Maybe he was. But he was pretty much leading himself on as well.

Roy kept silent, while the lump in his throat grew and his intestines joined the club, feeling like a heavy knot. He knew it was impulsive and stupid, but right now, he just wanted his best friend to fuck off.

The drive to Maes' house became uncomfortably quiet, the minutes stretching like chewing gum. The silence left a bitter taste in Roy's mouth. He felt like he should say something to break the tension, but was stuck at _what_. So he went for the first thing that came to mind, without thinking much it. Fuck Hughes for starting this anyway.

"So what? You expect me to tell Ed that I just want this to be a casual affair?" He looked over to his friend and barely prevented a disgusted sneer. "Maybe I should explain to him that what I really want is some pretty little housewife?" Now he couldn't prevent the sneer and deliberately quoted his friend. "A woman to stand beside me? A wife who will give birth to my children?" He snorted and felt a little bit of satisfaction when he finally said. "Bullshit." Beside him, Maes took a deep breath and despite the obvious effort it took his friend not to comment, Roy repeated himself. "That's absolute bullshit, Maes. Why don't you add a damn house with a garden and a dog to the picture, Hughes? A nice and sweetly wrapped boring piece of fucking shit."

"Stop acting like child whose pride has been hurt, Roy." The other man said with a sigh that got on Roy's nerve more than any words could. "It's not that big of a deal. You break off affairs all the time."

He knew he should just shut up and _think_ for a minute. The way he was acting right now was stupid and probably dangerous, but Maes' words only threw oil onto the already hot burning fire.

Contemplating his arguments and Hughes' reactions to his current strategy, Roy quickly adjusted it.

"You know, maybe I should." He said, slowly. In the driver's seat, the Lieutenant Colonel tensed, familiar with that tone. "But since I _should_ break off this whole… 'thing' anyway," Roy continued, deliberately using the same words his friend did, "maybe I should first get a good fuck out of it. After all, that´s what affairs are for, aren't they?"

The car came to a sudden stop and Roy barely managed to stop himself from flying through the windshield. Damn, fastening the seatbelt might have been a good idea… if a part of it wouldn´t have to be wrapped over on his lower stomach. It was a good thing Maes, focused on the discussion, was driving slowly, or else this might have hurt more. As it was, Roy's wrist was pounding painfully from his grip on the handle above the door.

He sent a glare but received one in return.

"Good Lord, Roy. Could you stop acting like the bastard Ed claims you to be and start thinking about this rationally?" The green eyed man's anger was heavy in his voice, but Roy only snorted.

"What´s not rational about it? Ed´s a man, as you already pointed out. He will enjoy it. At least we will both benefit from this before I call it off. He´s going to be pissed anyway, so I might at least have some fun first."

Hughes stared at him, and Roy could see his temper almost reaching the boiling point. It was almost like watching a train heading towards a cliff and knowing the brakes would never stop it in time.

Roy felt no remorse for pushing that train closer to the cliff. "And since you're going to be running my life from now on, I'm sure you'll insist that I get myself a woman after this, so I think I should go out with a bang." He could see Hughes' thoughts running wild. Good. Doing his best to appear overly considerate, he added, "So what do you think? Should I let him have a chance to fuck me as well? If he's good in bed? After you've got me married off, I won´t have a chance to try that again, so I might as well give it another shot."

Now the other man lost a bit of color in his face.

"Roy… " Maes swallowed and took a deep breath. "Maybe we should talk about this another time. After that bet is over. You´re not acting like yourself and-"

"-and what?" Mustang snarled, unwilling to just brush this whole thing aside after his best friend basically put his food in his mouth, unwilling to treat the whole 'thing' with Ed as if it was just some moody side effect of the damn bet. "What the fuck tells you I won´t enjoy it?" he questioned. "Or even stay with him?" he added.

"Roy, you´re not going to stay -" Hughes began, clearly tired of arguing with his best friend while Roy obviously seemed deaf to any rational arguments at the moment.

"- with Ed?" Mustang asked. "Or with a man? Is that the real problem here? That Ed is a man? Would we be having this conversation if I was getting involved with Riza?"

"Roy, that's ridiculous," Hughes sighed. "You know I don´t have a problem with homosexuality."

"I'm asking why the hell you seem so goddamn obsessed with the idea of getting me married to a _wife_!" Mustang countered.

"I'm your best friend; of course I want you to be happy," the other man answered.

Observing him closely, Roy contemplated his course. He should keep this separate, because he hoped that this situation had nothing to do with the past, but he couldn´t be sure. He couldn´t be sure he if he was seeing parallels because he suspected them to be there, or if he was ignoring insights because he didn't want them to be there. He had to be sure, because he had to be able to trust Hughes. And this… this was the perfect opportunity. Asking right now would give him the chance to know without even mentioning their recently remembered history.

He needed to be sure.

"So, if I decided to get involved with Ed in a serious long term relationship…or hell, if I decided to get seriously involved with _any_ man, to rule out that whole political point you so enjoy throwing in my face," Roy specified, knowing he couldn't give Hughes a loophole to change the subject, or any flimsy excuse to not answer, "… you would be fine with that?"

Silence answered him.

Better than any words could.

**Tbc.**

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I admit, that chapter left me really nervous and I´ve been afraid I ruined Hughes for you. I hope his actions are reasonable for you :D please, let me know what you think ^^

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Guest: I guess we have to find out later if Roy will tell him or not. Or if Ed will find out otherwise or not ^^ I hope you don´t mind ._.

Shane: Well, Roy has reached his decision ^^ let´s see how it works out :D

Ankarin: If you´re not really a person who leaves comments, then I´ll have to thank you even more for leaving one here ^^ thank you! Glad, you like it! And don´t worry about a few spelling mistakes :D You don´t want to know how I´ve mutilated the language once ^^° (Still do occasionally *cough* Thanks god for beta readers :D )

Jen: … uhm.. wow o.O … okay… ^^ … I never know what to say when someone praises this fic so much ^^° Thank you *bows* I´m really excited you love the story so much and thank you for pointing out parts you liked about the fic more ^^ (and for your forgiveness in regards to the cliffhangers XD) I also have to say, Ca11iope is doing a lot of work, so part of your praise is definetely earned by her :D Every time I get a chapter back from her, I can´t believe how much she managed to improve it ^^ That´s why I changed 'beta' to 'beta&co-author' because that definetely fits her job describtion better XD

I´m curious to see what you think of this chapter :D And I´m also very curious how much of the development you had been able to guess. Including the few bombs I still have left ^^ (So, did rereading help in guessing Hughes` reaction?)

As for your PS: I think I´d be better to first finish this fic, but if you want to print it out or have it printed, I don´t mind as long as all of it stays for free and is not breaking any laws ^^ I´ll probably make a completely cleaned version, once the fic is finished so you will get all the chapters without all the A/Ns etc. But first, the fic must be finished for that. I can´t judge my own fic and there are a lot of really awesome writers out here, so I´m honored you view the fic as so special :D I will do my best so you will enjoy the rest as well!

Thank you for the good wishes as well ^^ I also wish you a wonderful Year 2013 :D


	37. Standstill and Motion

**AN**: Another huge break o.O I´m sorry it took so long again. However, I don't expect RL to get this demanding again anytime soon so hopefully, the situation will improve ^^ There are two notes I´d like to make beside the big fat THANK YOU to Ca11iope who once again did an amazing job :D

First, I´ve been asked about Ed´s age. Now, this has not been mentioned specifically before because I wanted to have some room for planning. But for those who want to know now: at the end of CoS, Ed is 18 years old. I´ve mentioned before that this has been 'a few years' ago in this fic. Meaning, roughly three or four years. This makes Ed 21 now. We´re getting closer to the end of the year in this fic (the weather is getting colder). Meaning, it´s roughly autumn so Ed´s 22nd birthday is not that far away ^^ hope that clears things up a bit.

Secondly, I´ve been asked to make a small summary for those who want to get back into the fic faster after longer breaks. Although I suck at summaries, I´ll try to give you a rough overview of the latest events ^^ For those who don´t want or need it, skip the italic. Sorry for those who are no fan of scrolling, I can´t put that at the back of the chapter ^^° Please let me know if I should continue with those little summaries or not. But either way, I´ll try to make updates fast enough so they won´t be needed.

_Recently: _

_Both Ed and Al have become victims of the same underhanded tactic. While Hughes interrogated an increasingly drunk Alphonse about his brother´s relationship with Mustang, Roy is trying to lose up his date with a few more drinks than necessary. Neither of the men could claim their plan completely successful. Alphonse became far too talkative for Hughes´ liking. The Colonel spent the night at Ed´s place in order to comfort the young man who´s still haunted by a past Mustang is still not fully aware of. Small bits of Ed's past relationship are revealed the next morning, but soon enough their discussion is moving away from the past and back to alchemy. It doesn´t take long and the two alchemists find themselves making out again. However, once it becomes clear things were heading towards sex, Roy quickly puts an end to it. No longer able to explain his repeated refusal without letting the younger man know about the bet and its conditions, the Colonel admits to having to tell Ed something. But Roy´s attempts to talk to the other alchemist are interrupted by Hughes, who demands to have a few words with his friend in private. _

_Reluctantly, Roy leaves with the promise to explain things when he meets Ed the next day at lunch. On the drive to Hughes' place, the two men engage in a heated discussion. While Hughes is questioning his friend's behavior towards Edward, Mustang attempts to find out, whether Maes´ behavior might be influenced by their own sexual encounter in the past, and the following love confession on Hughes´ part. _

_But while the men argue, there´s someone else working on their plans. Back in Headquarters, another surprise is being prepared for Roy. _

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Finally, I wish you much fun reading the chapter ^^

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Chapter 36: Standstill and Motion 

Still Day 21

Hughes stared at his best friend, and Roy could literally see the wheels turning inside his head. Then Maes reached some conclusion, because his gaze hardened and his lips thinned. It was not an expression Roy ever remembered seeing on the man's face, at least not directed towards him. At that moment Roy knew this was going to get nasty.

Maes got straight to the point. "So. You finally remembered. I wondered if you ever would."

Roy didn't try to play dumb, or in any way deny his recollection of the romantic encounter with his best friend, and Maes expression darkened even further. Roy opened his mouth, hoping to prevent the situation from deteriorating even further, to keep Hughes' verbal attack from taking this to a place neither of them wanted to go, but the other man interrupted before Roy could speak.

"Stop right there, Mustang."

Maes may have been the lower ranking officer, but his words were clearly an order, and Roy knew better than to pull rank on his friend now. He bit back his own angry words, his only consolation the hope that he might finally get some honest answers from the man.

They likely would not be polite answers, however.

Hughes observed him another few seconds, and when he was sure Roy was listening, he took a few breaths to calm himself.

"You've remembered what happened at the academy, and probably what I confessed, and now you think I'm objecting to this thing you have going with Ed because you think I'm either still hurt, or I'm jealous. Well, before you get all tangled up in any more ridiculous theories, I will lay out a few simple facts for you."

Maes' attempt at becoming calmer had obviously not been very successful and the Colonel had to bite his lip not to react to the 'ridiculous theories' statement. He was a damn good judge of character, and one hell of a politician and tactician. His conclusions were logical, otherwise he would not have come to them.

Maes ticked his facts off on his fingers. "Number one: You are an idiot," Hughes stated with great conviction. Roy was about to ask why he should sit here listening to insults, but Maes continued. "And number two: you couldn´t hold a candle to my lovely wife and daughter."

Roy blinked, but the other man kept talking.

"Seriously, Roy. My beautiful Gracia is way out of your league. She's just amazing. Beautiful, caring, loving, and the perfect mother for my little angel Elicia. My two girls are the light of my life. I would be nothing without them."

Mustang blinked again and took a deep breath. This conversation was familiar and surreal at the same time. He was not sure if he felt insulted or relieved. Part of him expected Maes to haul out a stack of pictures as evidence for his claim.

"And just to make it clear," Hughes added with a hard edge to his voice. "Against that 'boring little housewife'…" Maes shot Roy's earlier words right back at him, "… you can´t even compete. Whatever was between us back then, that I thought was mutual, it was nothing compared to the love I feel for my wife. You might be the eminently charming Flame Alchemist, Roy," now heavy sarcasm was added to the tone, "but next to the love I feel for her, what I felt for you back then was nothing more than… a crush."

For a few moments, there was silence.

Maes was defending his family, but it still stank to be verbally downplayed like that. Roy felt that he had a right to feel a good bit of indignation over the way Maes compared him to his wife, and how completely he was dismissed in this comparison. Yes, Gracia was a lovely woman and a good mother; Roy really liked her. She was no genius, but she was intelligent – nowhere near his own or Edward's league of course, but she was not stupid.

But she was also … boring. No ambition, no challenge, no _fire_.

Beauty – and it seems a lot of other qualities- lay in the eye of the beholder. Hughes clearly valued different qualities than Roy did. Roy was not questioning Maes' choice of partner. Quite the contrary in fact. Maes was doing all the questioning of that nature here. But telling Maes that aside from being a pretty woman, a nurturing mother, and an excellent housewife, that Gracia sucked badly most likely wouldn´t help the situation, and there was no gain in hurting the man by insulting his precious soulmate.

So Roy stayed quiet, keeping his nasty opinions to himself. However, if Hughes continued the discussion this way, he would leave. The man had made his point, and Roy would not sit there and listen to further insults.

"Believe it or not, Roy Mustang, the whole world does not revolve around you," Hughes said, sourly. "You might be an egocentric narcissist at times, but when it really matters you're usually able to accurately judge a situation. You know I´m married. You know I love my wife." Hughes huffed. "You´re the one who's always telling me I´m obsessed with my family! How you could have lost yourself in such a crazy theory is beyond me. You´re usually smarter than that, and this just proves my point. You're not yourself. You´re acting out, Roy. You need to, I don't know, maybe take a few days off work and distance yourself from all of this. You need to step back and put everything into the proper perspective," the bespectacled man suggested solemnly.

Despite the undoubtedly well meant advice coming from his best friend, Mustang immediately tensed up. Hughes saw it and frowned, knowing that this wasn't over yet.

"Some distance…proper perspective..." The Colonel repeated the words slowly, but the contemplative tone to his voice was not genuine. It was a hidden challenge and he knew Maes had picked it up. Both men were masters at reading between the lines, particularly when it came to each other.

Maes' believed that Roy's actions and accusations were all a result of the bet's terms, this damnable forced abstention. Remembering their close encounter and what Maes had confessed, Roy's current 'thing' with Edward - it was all just a blip in an otherwise stable personality, easily solved by a little bit of distance. From everything. Including Ed.

Fuck the man for not letting this topic rest.

The Colonel didn´t need to voice his thoughts. He knew his posture gave away his position. Hughes sighed.

"Roy…" he started, but this time, it was Mustang who beat him to it.

"Save it, you´re repeating yourself, and it's getting old," the alchemist interrupted. "You may have a point regarding your wife and the past, but that doesn't mean you're right when it comes to Edward," he insisted stubbornly. "I´m not going to end this just because you think I might be leading Ed on. I _know_ I´m not, so this argument holds no value, Hughes. You think I need some perspective? Take your own advice." Other than telling his friend to shut the fuck up, this was the most direct way Roy could find to advise Maes that this discussion was over.

Maes did not take that advice. "Roy, just think about this," he almost pleaded. "Unless you're will to admit you are madly in love with him, there is no way this is going to end well. And even if you are, it would still be like playing tennis with a nitroglycerine ball and not expecting it to blow up."

Roy stared at the other man, mouth opened to respond, but nothing came out. Not because of Maes' rude simile for what he perceived as a toxic relationship, but for … the other part. Roy's thoughts had collided with a solid wall. The wall was painted with all his recent mistakes and misjudgments, including the accusation he just leveled at Maes, which suddenly appeared ridiculously farfetched. He felt like an idiot. An idiot who was not able to trust his own judgment right now.

As much as he hated to admit it, it appeared that Maes was right. For all the wrong reasons, but still right. Roy realized that he actually did need to reassess this situation. Rethink it, analyze it from different perspectives. Find possible flaws in his current mind-set and behavior. He should be able to do this logically; it was something he was good at. And it needed to be done. He couldn´t argue a case without being sure of his own position, particularly to himself.

So he let his jaw snap shut without saying a word, and beside him Hughes grimaced.

"Yeah, that´s what I thought," the man said, clearly disturbed by what he saw as proof Roy agreed that he was heading for disaster, but determined to go there anyway.

"I-" Mustang cut himself off. Arguing was getting them nowhere. "You´re right," he finally said, and Hughes looked up in surprise.

"I do need to think this through," Mustang continued before the man could get over his sudden agreement. The alchemist felt no desire to stay in this car with his meddling friend any longer, thrashing in the circular confines of this unsolvable difference of opinion. Opening his seatbelt, Roy continued to talk, not giving his friend a chance to interrupt. "I think a walk home would be a good start. Get some fresh air, sort my thoughts."

Opening the door, he stepped out into the cool air, leaving a speechless Maes Hughes behind.

* * *

In the Hughes family kitchen, Alphonse sat at the table, clutching a cup of chamomile tea. Gracia had suggested it to sooth his still rebelling stomach, but so far it hadn't helped. Dinner was simmering on the stove, and Gracia was moving gracefully about, preparing a sumptuous dessert. Al wished he could appreciate it.

Both looked up when the front door opened, and both instantly frowned when they noticed two things. Hughes had not brought Mustang with him, as he had said he would. And the Investigations officer looked irritated and very disturbed.

"Maes?" The fact that Gracia Hughes did not call her husband by one of their many, adoring nicknames was very telling.

Slowly, Alphonse placed the still half filled teacup back on the table. Clearly, something was going on, but he had the feeling that whatever it was, the married couple would need some time on their own to sort it out. Right now Alphonse felt the urge to check on his brother and make sure the older Elric was alright. The moment he noticed that Mustang was not here as expected, sudden worry hit him. He was pretty sure the Colonel had been with Edward yesterday, and even though he did not care for the details - in fact, he would do his best to never see any details of that again – there was a possibility that the man had spent the night with Ed. Considering the amount of unresolved tension between the two…

However, from what Alphonse remembered of yesterday, Mister Hughes had been very curious about the couple, if one dared to call them that. Even drunk the young man had had the distinct impression that he was being gently cross-examined. Today the older man had been in a hurry to bring Mustang home for dinner, and the Colonel had most likely had been found at his brother´s place. Al was almost positive Mr. Hughes' odd behavior had something to do with yesterday's discussion about Ed's and Mustang's not quite relationship. Now he had returned alone and in a foul mood. While Alphonse knew his brother was more than capable of achieving that level of irritation in Mr. Hughes all on his own, Al was fairly confident that that was not the case this time. Whatever had happened – if not a direct confrontation with Ed – had to be related to the 'not-relationship' his brother and the Colonel had going.

"Oh my goodness! I´m sorry, but I forgot I promised to call Winry," he said, interrupting the worried woman who was torn between her duties as a wife and hostess. Standing up, Alphonse smiled innocently at the pair. "I need to talk with brother before I call her." He gave a quick bow to the married couple. "I´m sorry to leave so suddenly, but it wouldn´t be nice to let Winry wait any longer and –" Not able to think of anymore polite excuses, Al decided to just go for it and blow. Quickly moving towards the door, he shouted out a, "Thank you for the tea!" added by a quick "Goodbye!" which was half swallowed by the front door.

There, the minimal amount of manners had been provided. Now he could hurry to his brother and try to find out what the hell was going on with this relationship of his. And that's what it was, whether the Colonel and his brother wanted to admit it or not. Al was not going to dance around it any longer, and his brother and Mustang should just grow up and call things by their proper names.

Then he almost stumbled over his own feet when realization hit him.

Mentally, Alphonse winced as he remembered that he really _had _promised to call Winry.

And should have done so yesterday.

"I am never touching alcohol again," he groaned.

* * *

Roy silently closed his front door behind him and leaned against it. He had expected to feel better after a quiet walk to his own home, but that wasn't the case. Ironically, the Flame Alchemist felt completely burned out.

The conversation in the car kept replaying over and over again in his mind, and Roy knew he needed to straighten out his thoughts. And he needed to do it fast. He was making mistakes based on faulty assumptions, and that just wasn't his style. The only thing he could safely say for sure at this point was that the current situation had become one big, fucked up mess.

Pushing off the door, Roy wandered into the living room. He couldn't think clearly with the discussion he'd had with Maes in the car stuck on replay in his head. He had to settle down. There were about a million questions he had to answer, all of which impacted on his personal and professional state of affairs, many of which rendered consequences he did not want to face right now. Tomorrow's schedule promised to be challenging. In fact, the least tiring period would likely prove to be his scheduled gym session.

Theoretically, taking a nice bath and catching up on some sleep would be Roy's best course of action for the evening. Practically however, he knew that plan would be doomed to failure. There was too much on his mind to give him any chance of falling asleep, and it was still too early even attempt it. Instead, he made a beeline towards the bar and poured himself a glass of scotch. Drinking himself into oblivion sadly wasn´t an option either, because for one, killer headaches and contemplating Edward Elric did not mix in a good way; and two, he couldn't afford to lower his inhibitions while the bet was running its course. Who knew what he might do in a tipsy, reckless state of mind?

Shooting himself was a strangely appealing option right now.

On the other hand, Roy had somehow managed to get this far, and to shoot himself now without enjoying the one thing he kept denying himself would be unproductive, stupid, and just plain unmanly. A man who pointed a gun at himself was not a man; he was an idiot. An idiot who gave up just because he couldn´t handle the stress of being unable to get laid like he desperately wanted to. There. That sounded stupid enough in his head without being carved into a tomb stone. And why he was even thinking about this was stupid too.

But to be fair, not getting laid was really just part of his problem. It was the combination of current events that was starting to wear him down, and that damn bet was playing well into it. Sitting down on the couch with his drink, Roy leaned back and closed his eyes. He would give himself half an hour of rest before he attempted to work on his alchemical research again. He hoped that would help to get his mind on another track before he could start to look at things more objectively.

* * *

The moment Al entered the apartment, he felt the urge to vomit increase exponentially.

"Brother… your apartment stinks of eggs and bacon." It was enough to turn his already churning stomach upside down, and his already pale coloring to a sickly green.

And that was the only thing he managed to say, because Edward came out of the kitchen with a cup of freshly made, _highly aromatic_ coffee. The bitter-sweet aroma hit Alphonse like a punch in the gut.

The older Elric only had time to blink at the sudden greenish tint to his brother's face before Alphonse almost ran him over in his sprint to the bathroom.

While heaving up the contents of his stomach, Al noted that Ed's toilet appeared to be surprisingly clean, which Al certainly appreciated considering how close it was to his face. He marveled that his brother might do such a mundane chore so thoroughly.

He also appreciated the fact that Edward held his hair back, and even made him some herbal tea once Alphonse had finished decorating the toilet.

What came next however, was not appreciated at all, because this was his brother, not his mother, and he shouldn´t feel like such a child under the heavy weight of Edward's disapproving glare.

"So... why the fuck are you hungover?" Ed demanded to know. "Didn´t you spend yesterday at the Hughes´?"

Alphonse could have denied having a hangover and simply claimed to have eaten something bad. It would have been a lame attempt to avoid the inevitable however, since both brothers knew that Gracia Hughes would never serve anything inedible. And well… the smell itself was a dead giveaway.

"I did." Al fidgeted. Usually, he was able to weasel his way out of trouble very well, particularly with Edward, but he still felt queasy, his headache had returned, and his brother's empathy regarding his condition had ended the moment it was clear that Al would be able to keep the tea down.

It was not going to be a fair discussion, but Alphonse still refused to let himself be treated like a troublesome child.

"It´s not a big deal, brother. I just had a bit too much to drink. Happens to all of us." Closing his eyes, he sighed and leaned back. Not the best start, but not the worst either. When he opened his eyes again, he barely caught Ed's strange, almost unnoticeable frown, before it vanished.

Al felt like cursing. He knew if he were in better shape, he would be able to chase down what caused that frown. Perhaps Ed had remembered a similar experience, caught in the act of having drunk a bit too much. Maybe it had been last night on his date with Mustang, or maybe at another time. It seemed to imply something deeper though. Unfortunately, Ed was rather tight lipped about the time he had been away from this world. Al found Edward's lack of trust in him frustrating, because there was definitely something bothering the older brother, and all Alphonse really wanted to do was help.

Hmm. So Ed wanted to know how Al got drunk, did he? This hangover might just be a blessing in disguise.

It was worth a shot.

"Equivalent exchange, brother. I will tell you everything that happened last night if you do the same." Al sat back in his chair and folded his hands over his rumbling stomach. "How was your date with the Colonel?"

* * *

"What exactly did you expect?" Gracia demanded to know.

Mr. Hughes looked up and stared at his wife. He had told her everything. About the bet, the various attempts to influence it, about the sudden unsettling development and his subsequent surprise when he found out Roy was dating Edward. Gracia knew he could see her disapproval and even a rare hint of anger in his wife's lovely eyes, and probably realized that he would not get out of this easily.

Being a patient woman, Gracia Hughes had listened to her husband as he told her about his opinions and fears. She noticed how he tried to analyze her frown, not able to judge the source of it. It was so very rare for the woman to be upset with him; he likely couldn´t tell if her disapproval was meant for him, Roy, or her unspoken opinion regarding the whole sordid situation.

Either way, Maes would be confidant knowing that even though she might not approve of all of his actions, she would stay at his side. For better or worse. How could Roy not see the value of that?

Unlike Roy's reaction to Maes' opinion of his behavior, Gracia's question did not rile him. She knew he wondered about her question however, as he was sure that his beloved wife understood him very well and was able to gauge his intentions. He hadn´t held back on reporting his own words when he related his confrontation with Roy in the car.

Mrs. Hughes sighed at her husband's questioning glance. Really, for such an intelligent and sensitive man, her husband could be quite clueless at times.

"You've known Roy for years," she elaborated. "What did you expect him to say when you asked him to admit to being 'madly in love'," the woman quoted. "It hardly sounds like something Roy would admit, whether it was true or not."

A faint flicker of guilt appeared in Maes green eyes before they sharpened with suspicion. "It sounds like you think he really _is_ serious about Ed."

Oh, the things she could tell him right now… but even though she trusted Riza´s opinion, Gracia was not a woman who spread gossip or betray confidences, not even to her doting husband. And besides, it would be in vain. Most men just didn´t believe in a woman´s intuition. While she was sure Maes wouldn´t dismiss Hawkeye's observation outright, he, like most men, would want observable proof to justify it, and if he hadn't seen the obvious after confronting his friend in the car, then he'd just have to wait and watch the relationship develop.

And of course, why meddle with things that already progressing in a pleasant direction? It was a shame her husband, the Investigation Officer, failed to recognize that.

"I´m just saying that I can´t remember him ever talking about anything romantic," Gracia hedged. "To be completely fair, as long as Roy isn't prodded into sharing, the man even keeps his dating practices to himself." Honestly, she had heard Havoc brag about far worse, whenever he'd been fortunate enough to have someone share his bed. "You've been friends with him for years, honey. Don't you find it strange that someone as articulate as Roy can´t find the words to describe this 'thing' he has going with Ed?" As an attentive wife, Gracia couldn't resist giving him this tiny hint. "No matter what, there is clearly _something_ going on between them. Something unusual enough for Roy to not know what to call it. Don´t you agree?"

With a satisfied smile, she took note of the intense, thoughtful look in her husband's eyes. There. The considerate and intelligent man she had married was back. And once he figured out what was really going on, she would praise him for the conclusions he had reached – all by himself, of course – and things would return to normal. And if not, she would have to drop a few more hints to guide him until he finally caught on to what she and Hawkeye – and any other woman with eyes to see - already knew.

Sighing softly, the woman shook her head, but smiled contently as she prepared the cucumbers she wanted to pickle. Really, they managed to build strategies and plan years ahead. They conquered countries, fought wars, invented wonders. But when it came to matters of the heart, men - even sensitive and emotional ones like her husband - could sometimes act like their IQs were somewhere around the Neanderthal level.

* * *

If Al were to guess, he would say that right now he knew more about his brother than anyone else, even considering the few missing years. True, the Colonel probably knew a good bit about Ed's life on the other side of the Gate, but Al was content to say that the man definitely knew less about Edward's romantic life, even though – or maybe because – he was part of it. It felt nice to know that there was still something his brother trusted him with that no one else knew about. Al was even more pleased that Ed so clearly valued his opinion as well, despite Alphonse lack of experience regarding relationships.

After the trip to the underground city Al had taken with Roy and the confrontation with Edward that followed, the brothers had finally talked. A lot. They had talked the whole night away, about the past, their journey, and all the many things Al no longer remembered. But the simple facts weren't all Alphonse wanted. No, Al wanted more. He wanted to become part of his brother's life again. He didn´t want a simple travelogue of their search for the philosopher's stone alone. He wanted to know how his brother felt about their journey, what he thought about the people he had met, who he felt close to and why. Al wanted to talk about the things he knew close siblings talked about.

He asked about Ed's plans for the future, about friends he had made, and about his research. Al even asked about drinking, which he had just been introduced to.

And at some point, he had asked about Ed's love life. It was reasonable to assume that his brother would be experienced in such matters, since Edward was the older brother and Alphonse had lost a few years to the Gate. He had expected Ed to mention one or two men and perhaps a girl or two. Judging from what Al had unwillingly witnessed in the kitchen that day, it was pretty clear that his brother was by no means a blushing virgin, and Al was curious about how and when – and with whom - this had happened. But the moment he approached the subject of the man – or at least Al thought it had been a man – who introduced Ed to sex, his brother became tense and closed off. Not wanting to scare off his brother when they were finally beginning to speak openly with each other again, Alphonse resigned himself to remaining in the dark about that for the moment. So instead of prying into Edward's first relationship, he carefully asked about his brother's _last_ relationship, and finally his patience (and his status as brother) was rewarded.

Although Ed was not aware of it, Alphonse had actually spoken with, or rather argued with, that particular former boyfriend. According to Edward, he had met Howard Feigling, an alchemist from the east, not long after he had returned to Amestris. They had worked together on a number of projects in the eastern townships. One thing had led to another, and eventually they had ended up not just sharing accommodations on the road, but sharing a bed as well. As things progressed, they also started getting together sporadically between projects; a neat, tidy friendship with benefits. But Ed being Ed, life never stayed neat and tidy, and things got complicated as their bond had deepened. He hadn't given Alphonse any details, but Ed admitted that the relationship had not being an easy one. Sometimes it was due to the nature of their careers, when a project took one or the other away for days or weeks at a time. Sometimes a new shared project forced them together when they needed time apart due to an argument. And they argued a lot. Even so, there was a certain fondness in Ed´s voice that betrayed deeper feelings when he talked about the other man, affection that could have become something more, given the chance. And it appeared to have been mutual.

Edward had finally decided to break it off. Though a very private person himself, Ed was uncomfortable that his lover flatly refused to acknowledge that their friendship had crossed the line into full fledged relationship territory. Not only did his former lover vehemently deny to his closest friends and relatives that he and Ed were anything more than colleagues, he had even dated a few girls to throw them off the scent.

Al knew his brother had been hurt by his former boyfriend's behavior, but he also knew that Edward could sympathize with him to some degree. Alphonse understood the reasoning behind the other alchemist's actions as well, though he did not agree with the other man´s behavior. Al would never agree with something that caused Edward pain.

Feigling had realized his mistake when Edward told him it was over, and had apologized. He still refused to changes his ways however, and had tried to reason with Ed, hoping to change his mind.

And when that didn't work, Alphonse had received a very strange phone call in Resembool one evening. His brother never suspected that Al was already aware of Ed´s taste for men, and that was just the way Alphonse wanted it. He never told Ed about his telephone conversation with Howard Feigling, and had no intention of ever doing so.

Involving Edward's little brother had been a big mistake on Feigling's part. Alphonse Elric was probably one of the most compassionate and understanding human beings in existence, but the moment that moron claimed there was nothing bad about hiding his relationship with Ed, as if Edward were someone he should be _ashamed_ of - Al had snapped. His brother was not some kind of… _mistress,_ useful in the bedroom and ignored otherwise. He could easily understand that the other alchemist was worried about how his friends and family might react to his relationship with another man. But if he wanted to keep things secret and stay in that damn closet, he shouldn't do it in such a way as to hurt and belittle his lover. Alphonse Elric's big brother was _not_ a dirty little secret.

At first, Alphonse had been appalled to discover that his brother hadn´t objected to keeping his relationship hidden, that he had not protested when his lover downplayed or outright denied his relationship with Ed the moment so much as a whisper about the two alchemists sleeping arrangements was heard. Edward was so passionate and vivid; it was hard to imagine he might agree to such secrecy and treatment.

It was at that moment, standing in the parlor in Granny Pinako's house listening to Edward's ex-lover plead for Al's help to get Edward back, when Al started to notice just how much his now grown up brother had changed; how secretive he had become and how easily he accepted the fact that there were things one needed to keep hidden. Even talking about it now, in Edward's cozy kitchen in the middle of the night, Ed did not seem to see that it was alright to be open about such a relationship.

Thoughts of what might have caused such changes in his brother had stayed on Alphonse' mind for a long time.

Since that phone call never happen as far as Ed was concerned, Alphonse had bided his time. When Ed finally told him about his past relationship with the other alchemist, Al couldn´t help but feel relieved and delighted that he was once again his brother's chief confidant. Finding out that Ed had been offered a very lucrative position of employment in the small, out of the way town of Cameron, with a large, successful alchemy research and development firm, and that Feigling was also involved, Alphonse had advised Edward not to take it, mainly because that ex-boyfriend appeared to have something to do with it. Yes, the job offer appeared to be strictly career based, but Alphonse was sure that rekindling the relationship was on the ex's mind, and Al knew Edward had contemplated both the job offer and the reconciliation.

Al couldn't help but compare the actions of Edward´s previous boyfriend to the way the Colonel acted towards his brother. Mustang made no secret of his interest in Ed; to Al, it was blatantly obvious. If he hadn´t already known about his brother's sexual preferences, he would have easily guessed from the way Edward and Mustang responded to each other. Maybe Al should have acted more surprised over 'finding out' his brother was gay and had a thing for his former superior, but Edward hadn't seemed suspicions of Al's reaction to the 'discovery'. Alphonse had been somewhat taken aback that his brother and the Colonel were already beyond the ogling each other and flirting stage, but shocked as he had been by _that_ display, he was happy he hadn´t given himself away. As a result, Al had been quick to advise Ed to stay in Central.

Still, if it were not for Mustang, he was sure his brother would have taken the offer and moved to Cameron. And maybe he would have taken _both _offers, the job and the personal one, which Alphonse thought would be a mistake, and a shame.

So far, Al had been content that his advice to stay in Central had been good. Having to hide your relationship and your love. Never able to let people see how you felt, and always be on alert. Never able to meet your lover´s family and expect to be welcomed on good terms. That was not the life Alphonse wished for his brother. He knew his sibling deserved better than secrets and lies. And although Mustang didn´t seem to have any shame being affectionate with Edward no matter where they were – even when it was the kitchen floor - it was becoming clear, thanks to Maes Hughes' suspicious behavior, that the Colonel had to be harboring his share of secrets and lies as well.

For a moment Al wondered what was better: a lover who was absolutely honest to his partner but kept the whole relationship a big secret, or a lover who would be open about public displays of affection, but kept his thoughts and plans closed away from his partner.

Roy was a military man, so there were bound to be _some_ secrets. But even so, Mustang had to be well practiced in keeping his private and professional lives separate. Now, after hearing about the morning´s events from Edward, things seemed mixed up. It bothered Alphonse as well that so far, the Colonel had barely hinted at how the relationship might progress in the future. The man could not even manage to call it a relationship.

Sorely tempted to question Mustang about his intentions, Al was determined to give the man a piece of his mind if nothing else. What stopped him was – of course – his brother. Alphonse had no idea why Edward had allowed the Colonel to leave with Mr. Hughes that morning without getting some answers out of him. It told Al that his brother placed an inordinate amount of trust in his former commanding officer, but he also wondered if whatever made Ed keep the details of his first and recent relationship a secret was influencing his brother´s decision now.

However, Al realized that as much as he wanted to protect his brother, he had to respect Edward´s privacy and wishes, especially when his brother softly, but firmly pointed out that this situation was his to deal with, and therefore didn´t concern anyone but him and Mustang.

The statement was not a warning per se, and obviously not meant to shut Al completely out of his private life. However, it was a clearly stated request to respect some boundaries. Sighing in defeat, Alphonse had promised his brother he would not interfere. Too much.

And as long as Mustang himself also respected some boundaries and did not hurt his brother, Al intended to keep that promise. But if the Colonel did hurt Ed, Ed could use all the powers of persuasion in the world, and it would not save Roy Mustang from finally getting himself fried.

* * *

Sunday had to be the worst of all days to be haunted by his concerns. On a weekday Roy could immerse himself in mind numbing paperwork as a distraction. On a Saturday he could go to the market and distract himself in the colorful bustle of busy shoppers. But on a Sunday?

After three unproductive hours, Roy gave up attempts to further his research. Alchemy made him think of Ed, and that was not the way to gain the distance he needed to start analyzing this logically.

He turned to housework to keep himself busy.

Two hours later, his stomach protested the lack of food and Roy prepared himself a light meal. Time crawled by at a slow pace, stretching into dreaded and senseless hours. Somehow, he managed to keep himself busy, although nothing helped to ease his mind. He couldn´t concentrate on any sophisticated literature and he refused to read some sappy fiction or romance novel, which he didn't own anyway. His usual weekend activity, namely dating, didn´t even cross his mind. He didn´t have much laundry to do, but it did provide at least a bit of work, as did the alchemic repair of his bent shower equipment. He even tried to take a bath, but ten minutes was the most he managed to stay in the tub. Roy found himself unable to relax in the water, so instead, he took a quick shower.

When it was finally late enough to go to bed, Mustang was unbelievably relieved. The relief was short lived however. Three hours of rolling around in bed proved that sleep would not come easy. The burned out feeling had not faded, but at the same time he felt restless.

It was going to be a long night.

* * *

Day 22

When his alarm clock rang, Roy had managed a total of two hours and thirty-eight minutes of sleep. Beyond exhausted, he forced himself out of bed. His morning routine was done in a mind numbed state of tiredness. On a positive note, even the general was too exhausted to demand anything from him except more sleep.

Roy was grateful for the cold air at the walk to work; it helped to wake him up a bit. The effect was ruined by the paperwork. Even just glancing at the stacks made his eyelids droop. The alchemist chided himself. It had only been one night, but he felt as if he hadn´t slept for a week. In the past, it would have taken far more than lack of sleep, lack of sex, and a fight with his best friend to get him to this state. Granted, he was also dealing with a potential lover who would surely demand explanations from him, and the risk of pissing off that almost lover with his explanation, resulting in a possible fist to the face, or Ed refusing to let this whatever-it-was go on. Ah yes, and the undefined state of whatever was going on was also starting to wear on his nerves, along with the uncharacteristic fear of not being able to trust his own judgment. It would be easier if he could just step back and look at it objectively, but getting some sleep first would be preferable. Which brought him back to the reason why he couldn't sleep. It was a vicious circle and Roy was so very _tired_ of it.

Ignoring the tiny voice in the back of his head that sounded suspiciously like a twelve year old Fullmetal telling him that he was getting old, the Colonel forced some attention to his paperwork, and an equal amount to the clock on the wall. Slowly ticking.

Slowly. Slowly. Ticking.

It was mesmerizing, hypnotic, and he almost fell asleep on top of his paperwork. It had happened before, but Riza´s reaction was not something he ever wanted to live through again – if he did manage to live through it. The First Lieutenant was already disapproving of her commanding officer's sluggish progress.

When it finally was time to leave for the gym session he had booked, Roy was desperate to get there. Since the walk this morning had managed to wake him up a bit, the Colonel held high hopes that the physical workout would do the same. Perhaps it would also help him distract his mind and release some of his restless tension.

He had already planned to take advantage of the gym more often. Aside from getting away from his desk and getting back in shape, there were some benefits Dr. Streng had claimed would take immediate effect which would reflect on his mood and physical state. Besides the rush of endorphins that would take the edge off his abstinence, regular exercise would give him a sense of accomplishment and lighten his mood. Roy hoped that concentrating on a fitness routine might finally get his mind out of this maddening deadlock.

* * *

It was a good bit before Mustang´s lunch break officially started, and their commanding officer was already missing.

"It´s actually brilliant," Havoc whispered. "You get to spend your working hours on improving your appearance." He was making an effort to observe Hawkeye for any signs of flaring temper, so he would know if he should shut up about this. Of course she could always shoot without a warning. Considering her mood, it was always a possibility. But Havoc just couldn´t keep quiet about it. "Getting paid for something that will help you get laid. Who would have guessed?" The blond Second Lieutenant's amazement was quickly damped when Hawkeye glanced up.

Fortunately, all the woman did was give him a scrutinizing look before her eyes returned to the paper in front of her. Nonetheless, Havoc hunched down in his chair and returned his attention to his own paperwork.

"He´s already slacking off with his paperwork. Now he´s got less time to do it. You wanna pick up the extra work?" Breda asked, clearly not impressed with his boss´s new excuse to get out of work.

Huffing slightly, Havoc held himself back before making a statement about how Heymans quite obviously did not see the benefits. Prolonging this discussion wouldn´t earn him any points in Hawkeye's book, but he couldn't resist a bit of good natured teasing.

"Guess we have to get to the gym ourselves, then, huh? What do you say, Breda?" Havoc teased, knowing that the chub around Heyman´s middle and cheekbones was not just due to the fact that the man absolutely adored sweets. He also absolutely hated having to do sit ups as well. Breda certainly wouldn´t complain about weightlifting or swimming, and was actually quite the runner despite his appearance. But he absolutely despised crunches, sit-ups and pushups. "It would be just like being back in academy," Havoc added.

That earned Havoc a disgruntled glance, this time not from Hawkeye, and Havoc chuckled.

The bantering was interrupted by a knock on the door and without waiting for the call in, Edward entered the room. Instantly, he had the attention of all the officers present. It had to be uncomfortable to be stared at like that, but all Ed did was place the basked he was carrying on the nearest table, which happened to be Fuery's. The dark haired technician stretched his neck a bit to peek inside, but since he tried to not make his curiosity too obvious, he wasn't able to see much, particularly since something that appeared to be a blanket successfully covered the contents.

All of that was insignificant in light of two important facts. One, Ed was here well before Mustangs break officially started. Considering the way they had parted the last time, none of Roy's team expected him to stop by again anytime soon, at least not without Roy being present. There was a good possibility that Ed simply didn't know that Mustang was out, but instead of heading directly to the inner office, the young man took a determined posture. Havoc was painfully reminded of their previous mistreatment of the young alchemist when there was no cheerful greeting, and he could see the rest of the team was aware of it as well.

The second thing Havoc noticed was the look on the alchemist´s face. It reminded him of the one he saw on the Colonels face whenever he'd had to meet with the higher ups, determined, as only an audacious Roy Mustang could be, to justify an increased budget to cover repairs resulting from numerous disasters caused by a certain subordinate with a short temper and stature to match. The expression said more than anything that Ed was ready for a confrontation and would not back down.

Carefully, Hawkeye set down her pen.

"There is still some time until the Colonel's lunch break begins," she said mildly, eyeing the man whose attention she now had earned. Taking on an official tone, she added. "He's out of the office, and likely won´t be in until just before his break."

Ed shifted a quick glance to the door leading to the inner office, then to the clock on the wall before he nodded.

"Perfect. Because before he shows up, I´d like to have a word with all of you."

* * *

Roy was not alone in the gym, but the other two men kept to themselves.

As far as he could tell, they didn´t even work out much. Mustang had the impression he recognized one of them as the man who had tailed him and Ed during the art exhibition, but he was not sure. It could just be his imagination. He knew two men had booked hours at the gym the same time he did, but he couldn´t remember their ranks, not that it mattered. Rank wasn't an issue in this environment of tee shirts and sweatpants. Since only two men were present and one of Maes' spies would have to write himself in after the fact, Roy didn´t worry much. Hell, even if these guys _were_ Arschloch's men, they were wasting their time. Did they expect him to rub one off in the common shower area after his work out? It was ridiculous. So he didn´t pay much attention to them and ignored them when they left about half an hour before his own time was up.

The physical workout felt good. Finally Roy's mind managed to pull away from his current dilemma as he concentrated on his routine. His body was tired from the lack of sleep, but he forced it through the regimen, first reviving the exhausted muscles, then fatiguing them again in a different way. When they started to ache he knew he was overdoing it, but it was such an unbelievable relief to lose himself in the activity that he pressed on. Roy took no breaks, only changing the type of exercise when a particular group of muscles became too tired or sore.

By the time he had to head for the showers, he was bone tired, but at the same time felt infinitely better. If he thought he felt exhausted this morning, he now needed to find a new word to define this extreme state. He should have been thinking about what he was going to say to Ed, and he should have been worried about falling asleep on top of his desk with a irritated Hawkeye nearby, but right now he was simply too tired to care.

Even though he had become used to them in the academy, a shared shower area was anything but comfortable. The white tiles and chrome were clinical and uninviting, but the other two men had left, so at least he had some privacy. Roy would have happily chosen warmer water than he had lately been forced to endure, but despite the fact that his body was not clamoring for sexual release right now, he once again went for freezing cold. Warmth would have lulled him into sleepiness, something he didn't need; the coldness woke him up a bit. Roy wrapped a towel around his hips and returned to the changing area where he once again saw the other two men. Both wore military pants and shirts, and were currently in the process of putting on their boots. They were chatting, and it was taking far longer than it should for these soldiers to tie their shoes. So much for being here to get into shape. Turning to his own locker, Roy took off the towel and put on his underwear. After he pulled on his pants, Roy noticed the quiet voice of one of the men becoming somewhat… muffled. Instinct told him there was something wrong, even without looking.

His first impulse to reach his gloves when his inner alarms went off, but his attackers didn't give him time. He could feel a body stepping up from behind and quickly sidestepped the arms reaching for him, but his other opponent was moving in, face now hidden behind the type of mask that the military used for raids.

The punch came fast and precise and Roy threw himself back to dodge it. The fist missed him by a hair, his sore muscles protesting, his movements just a tad slow. Strong arms encircled him from behind, pinning his arms to his sides. His bare feet had no effect on the man as Roy automatically stomped down on his heavily booted instep. Before Roy's elbow could jab the vulnerable solar plexus, the man in front of moved in. Roy´s kick to the man's groin missed when the arms around him tightened further, forcing his elbows painfully against his sides, and then the fist hit his face. He could feel the skin of his cheekbone split, and for a moment the hit left him dazed. Long enough for the men to get him into a more secure hold, and pull him away from the locker and his gloves.

**Tbc.**

* * *

Okaaaayyy ^^ This chapter is pretty improvised ^^° Hughes's whole lecture about his wife was planned to take place at a later point and so was his discussion with his wife, but I changed that because of the feedback I received and I´ll have to say, I like it much better like this ^^ The inside into Al's mind was not planned at all, but after the long wait, I wanted to give you a bit of an reward for the patience. Originally, someone else was planned to take the place of Howard Feigling but since I avoided the name the whole scene became just plain awkward, my beta went ahead and named the guy. I think she did a wonderful job here and I kind of like him now. So, he stays where he is :D

And of course, I just couldn´t resist the cliffhanger(s) ^^°

I´d be happy to know what you think and hope you liked the chapter and I hope to see you soon again ^^

* * *

**REVIEW ANSWERS**

Lorelai: u.u not soon, but I hope you like the chapter anyway ^^ I´m happy you think the story is improving and I´ll do my best to keep it up.

KimberleyF: I hope you´re not quite as mad at Hughes anymore ^^° As you can see, he´s improving :D

Shane: uhm… looks like he did ^^° speak about that night… I´m hopeful this chapter provided a bit more of an inside into Hughes´ reasons and I hope you like the development on this part ^^ As for the internship: It was okay, but I´m happy I don't have to get back there ^^°

I admit, I have been replaning parts of the story, but I did it as a reaction to some feedback. I value the readers opinion very much and considering the feedback, I decided to make a few changes. I like it better this way and I hope you guys will enjoy it as well ^^ But if you´re worried about another huge break, I don´t think another semester as time consuming as the last two will occur again, so there shouldn´t be another break as huge as that one again :D Also, I have some spare time now and I´m spending it writing. Hopefully, I manage a bit of a puffer to prevent such huge breaks anytime soon again ^^

Guest(s?): Thank you! As for that conversation you´re hoping for… uhm.. ^^° They are not on best terms right now, but there´s a silver lining ^^

Ktigris: I´m happy to read you like the development and I´m sorry for the long wait.

Noreen: No killing XD On the contrary, thank you for the review, it´s very appreciated. And I´d like you to know, I absolutely agree with you on the whole unrequited feelings discussion XD That´s why I did this *points upwards* Yes, it is overused, but it´s also something people might expect and not question ^^ A little trap (sorry about that – okay, not really ^^° ) but one I hope will get the reader to understand why Roy is so thrown off over having to question his own judgment. Originally, having this theory proven false at a later point, but your review prompted me to move this forward. I think it´s better now, so once again: thank you for critique ^^ I hope the new develop managed to prevent that 'beginning of a slow and veeery painful death' :D By the way: It´s been a delight to see you so passionate about this ^^ I enjoyed you review very much. However, I´m not sure which events –beside the 'Hughes' unrequited feelings' - you consider 'forcefully integrated' and if you´re kind enough to be more specific, I´ll try to smooth things out a bit if I can ^^ And lastly: since you admitted your fondness for 'dramatic endings', I decided to increase the amount in this chapter and hope you have fun ^.~

Punkgaopher: I´m happy you enjoyed it and I´m sorry it took so long ^^°

Momo: u.u I´m sorry you had to wait so long anyway.

Eda: Apologies for the wait, but I´m happy to hear the story is among your favorites ^^ *bow* thank you

Nisey: Thank you for the review :D I´m happy to read you enjoy the rollercoaster ride and I managed to reach the amount of drama to match a Spanish Soap Opera XD That´s a personal record ^.~ I´m glad you love it so much and you hope enjoyed the new chapter as well ^^

ThousandXSunny: You have disabled your pms but I´d like to thank you for the review anyway ^^ I guess this chapter reviews a few of your thoughts and I´d love to know what you think about it.


	38. In Charge

**A/N: **^^ Seems like I´ve become the namesake of Phasmatodea XD I´m quite proud of that archivement ^.~ Oh, and the update pace is better again :D Let´s hope it will improve some more and… I think I don´t really have something to say ^^° Oh... maybe I should give you a warning about offending language and some people might find the chapter a wee bit disturbing ^^ Just a bit. I apologize for that.

But otherwise, I wish you much fun reading ^^

**Beta&Co-Author: **Someone very awesome, who after all this time is very dear to me :D

* * *

Chapter 37: In Charge

Still Day 22

There was not much Roy could do to prepare himself for the next punch, arms locked behind him in an iron grip. His captors obviously knew how to secure a combat trained soldier, which confirmed Roy´s suspicion that these men were likely part of Arschloch's command. Among other things, Arschloch's people were well known for their blunt force interrogation techniques.

The fist to his stomach would have doubled him over if it weren´t for the other man holding him up. Heaving slightly, Roy was relieved that his breakfast stayed down.

These two men were of the school some interrogators preferred to call the 'strong arm forces'. Despite general opinion, they were not a bunch of fist swinging idiots. In fact, a lot of them were perfectly capable of accurately judging a suspect to estimate how much force could be tolerated. Each team usually consisted of at least one skilled tactician - two, if the team was big enough - but there was always a clear hierarchy. In a two man team, one was the designated leader, and was the more experienced and better trained of the pair.

However, so far the men had not revealed the purpose for this assault. What was their goal? They hadn´t asked any questions. If this was not an attempt to gain information, it was either something personal, political or… connected to the bet. Still, beating on someone was not exactly the best way to get them off, at least under normal circumstances.

For the moment, the first man seemed to be done hitting him. They moved towards the shower area, dragging their captive along. Roy´s attempts to hinder them were half hearted. If he gave them too much trouble now, he would also give them reason to watch him closely, which could ruin the possibility of escape when a real opportunity presented itself. But just going meekly along wasn't an option either; it would be suspicious. By resisting to a respectable degree, Roy gave his attackers the impression that this was all he was capable of, and gave Roy a possible advantage. His struggles also delayed things. At some point other people had to come into the locker room.

Considering that these men likely took the places of the people who had originally booked the gym, it was very possible that they had tampered with the schedule. As far as planning went, this worked rather well for them. Not only did it give them an estimated fifteen minute window until lunch break, they could also use the break itself to stretch their alone time with their victim. The Colonel also had a reputation for retuning late from lunch, so he might not be missed until well after that break. That would give them about two hours if not more. Under the circumstances, that was a lot of time. Fortunately for Roy, these men didn´t know how closely Hawkeye watched his schedule, and they certainly didn't know Roy was having lunch with Ed.

When Roy was late returning to the office Riza knew where to find him, and even though Ed was surprisingly patient these days, Roy had no doubt the young man would come here to haul his ass out if need be.

"Quite desperate measures to win a bet," Mustang commented in a tone he might have used to comment on the weather.

The Colonel needed to get these men talking for three very good reasons. First of all he wanted to discover the motive for the attack. Second, if he managed to engage them in a discussion, it might buy him some time. And third, he might be able to distract them and thus gain an opportunity to escape. While he couldn´t say for sure that their motive was related to the bet, it was a clear starting point. This didn't seem to be an interrogation, so the bet could be involved, perhaps in combination with something personal or political. The bet was his opening to try and find out what was going on. Shitty situation or not, Roy Mustang was not willing to simply ask, 'What the hell do you want?'

The men dragged Roy over to the showers and the one who had used Roy for a punching bag reached out to turn on one of the taps as the other forced him to his knees. The loud splatter of water against the tiled floor filled the room. Another shower was turned on. Then another. The Colonel recognized the tactic immediately, even though he was no investigations officer. The splashing would cover other noises, such as blows or screams. As the Flame Alchemist he was known for his explosive alchemy, but he also for his weakness to rain. The men probably preferred a wet environment to hinder him further. Even without his gloves, he was an alchemist and able to draw a circle… if he managed to free his hands and find something to draw with. But in this environment, even if he had the means, any drawn array would be washed away before he even finished drawing.

Roy cursed the fact that at least one of these men had done their research when it came to handling alchemists. Most likely the man before him was the dominate one of the group, the one giving the orders. He was cautious and controlled and his body language didn´t betray anything beside calmness and determination - something which did not match his partner's demeanor. The one behind Roy, holding him immobile, pressed closer and tensed. He had pushed so close Roy easily caught the small stutter in the man´s breathing when he mentioned the bet, and a mix of different feelings shot through the Colonel. One was a hint of satisfaction to discover something about one of his assailants, if not the actual reason for the attack itself. Another was hot anger over what appeared to be a forceful attempt to cheat. For a moment, there was also an uncomfortable tingle of dread at the thought of what these determined and violent men might do to win that bet. He was no stranger to pain or terror, but the thought of losing the bet by force…

Before his feelings could overwhelm him, Roy's rational mind and training took over. Cold calculation, purely objective and without emotion, dominated his mind as he started to analyze the situation. He pushed the looming possibility of bruises, lacerations, broken bones, and dislocated limbs forcibly from his mind. He was in a desperate situation, and needed more information to decide on a course of positive action. As a tactician, he knew that acting on impulse was only acceptable if the odds were realistic and the goal worth the risk.

Roy examined the man in front of him, his build, his stance, his demeanor. His swaggering gait as he approached from the farthest shower oozed cool confidence, but the slight tremor of his hand before the fingers curled into a fist did not escape Roy's astute observation.

Mixed signals.

Roy kept his smirk carefully internal.

Ammunition.

* * *

The atmosphere was not unlike a courtroom just before a verdict.

Fuery shuddered, and Breda, despite his size, suddenly appeared quite small as he sank down into his seat. Falman, held his breath. Havoc wished for a cigarette.

Riza Hawkeye leaned back, her gaze coolly professional. Ed stared back equally impassive, his expression completely closed off, and completely unnatural on the young man's usually expressive face.

Havoc and Breda looked at each other, clearly sharing the same thoughts. This was not the young boy they had known back in the day. Just how had they missed, or simply overlooked the obvious changes? Edward was no longer the child who had been forced to become an adult far too soon. It shouldn´t have been such a surprise that Ed was an adult now, but somehow it was. To Roy's staff he had always been like a much younger sibling, careening from one disaster to another, bouncing back from misfortune unchanged and unshakable. They were proud of their Edward, youngest ever State Alchemist, a child in the military.

But whether the adults in their lives liked it or not, children grow up.

Now they were shocked anew at the expression on the young man´s face, reminded again that he was an adult. An adult demanding his right to privacy, as his next words made clear.

"You might be 'the officer in charge of his schedule'," the young man started as the Hawk carefully put her pen down and gave him her undivided attention. "But I really don't give much of a fuck. In case you don't realize it, you're not in 'charge' of anything to do with me."

"Edward . . ." Hawkeye attempted to interrupt the blond before his anger got the better of him.

To no avail. "It´s none of your business when, with whom, and what I do in private, even if your superior happens to be part of my private life. I want you- all of you- to keep that in mind, and keep out of my affairs."

Though clearly enraged, the alchemist had not raised his voice, but the atmosphere in the office was heavy with his resentment. Every one of Roy's team knew where this was heading. The young man was about to draw a line - a line between his professional and private lives, between business and friendship, and it was quite obvious on which side Roy's team would end.

But that… was not fair, was it? Faced with consequences suddenly much harsher than he had expected, Havoc desperately wanted to protest. Sure, they had committed a breach of privacy, and most certainly of trust, but… could they all, Ed included, really allow a single stupid mistake to shatter their friendship? Havoc couldn´t stand by and watch this train wreck unfold, his mind racing to find the words to stop it. Beside him, Breda's mouth opened, ready to do the same. Fuery appeared ready to cry, and even Falman's normally stoic expression showed his remorse.

"Edward, I apologize." Hawkeye interrupted them all.

Whatever the alchemist – and everyone else in the room- expected, it was not this. The first Lieutenant took advantage of the baffled silence to continue.

"You are absolutely right to be upset, and on behalf of the entire team, I´d like to apologize," the woman said, meeting the alchemist's eyes squarely. "Our actions were completely out of line, and I assure you, it won´t happen again."

All eyes swung to Edward. The former State Alchemist frowned, but his posture became less defensive, which Havoc found an encouraging sign. After careful scrutiny of each sincere face looking earnestly back, the young man finally spoke.

"Alright," he said.

The sharp knot in his gut at the realization that Edward might prefer to shut them all out of his life loosened a bit, and Havoc let out a short, relieved sigh. His conscience had been nagging, and Edward's avoidance of them had been uncomfortable at best. Looking down, he noticed that he had damaged the document he had been fidgeting with, and had twisted a torn out piece into a cylindrical form.

Ed's lips twitched up when golden eyes shifted to Havoc´s hands holding the military document turned substitute cigarette. The older blond hoped that Hawkeye wouldn't be too hard on him, since the damaged form took the edge off the tense atmosphere.

The wind had been taken out of Edward's sails, and he sighed as he leaned back against Fuery´s desk next to his basket. Despite the apology, the atmosphere in the office was still uncomfortable. The blond´s gaze wandered to the clock on the wall. There was a short time left until lunch break, but anyone knowing Mustang knew he took every opportunity to slip out early, especially when he had plans. Ed's brows furrowed.

"Just what kind of meeting was he called to?" he wanted to know.

None of them missed the fact that Edward, while acknowledging it, had yet to accept the apology, but at least his body language was more relaxed. Just a bit, but it was better than nothing.

Hawkeye looked to the clock as well and seemed to think the Colonel´s schedule through.

"He should be back any minute," she said, and again, uncomfortable silence spread out.

As the minutes ticked by, Havoc cursed the actions that had created this ugly crack in a loose, but perfectly fine friendship. As time dragged along, the alchemist also became increasingly tense. The observant crew shared some glances, unsure what to do. Surprisingly, Breda broke the silence. Or rather, Breda´s stomach broke the silence. All eyes turned towards the redhead who fidgeted.

"What?" the man snapped, his voice drowning out the repeated growl coming from his midsection.

"Seriously?" Havoc growled. "I know you ate a chocolate bar earlier. Can´t you hold out a few more minutes? It´s almost lunch," the tall blonde grumbled. Usually, this would be the perfect opportunity to tease the man, but the tense atmosphere was getting to them all, and while the alchemist was here, joking around seemed somehow inappropriate.

Breda instantly defended himself. "It´s not my fault! I swear, I can smell food." In a show of innocence, he lifted his palms up and shrugged.

Havoc snorted as if to show what he thought about his friend's argument. Edward blinked and looked down at his basked, frowning.

Breda paid no attention to the alchemist and continued to argue his point. "Really, it´s…." He sniffed a bit, reminding the others of a dog. "… toasted bread, and ham, and…."

Falman cleared his throat before Havoc could say anything else.

"I do believe I detect the scent of onions as well," he said, and now even Hawkeye looked up from her paperwork to delicately sniffed the air.

"Uhm…" Ed began, when Hawkeye frowned and sniffed again, but Fuery´s voice interrupted him.

"Are those… sandwiches?" he asked carefully, and they all turned towards the technician, who had lifted the edge of the cloth cover to peek inside Ed's basket.

"Sandwiches?" Breda echoed, when Ed pushed the cover down again, which forced Fuery to quickly pull his hand away to prevent getting slapped.

The black haired young man blushed in embarrassment, but to the team's amazement, so did Ed.

* * *

"So, how much money is in the pot?" Roy asked casually.

At least one of his assailants had an interest in the bet, and considering that neither man knew Roy personally, there was nothing aside from the military that connected them.

"Arschloch really doesn't pay you much, does he?" After a few seconds, he added: "Wonder why?" with a smirk, just to provoke them a bit, hoping that insulting their competence might earn him some answers.

"Shut it," The dominant one hissed. "This is not about your stupid, little bet. It´s about your disgusting…" he stopped with a snort.

Ah, so that´s what this was about. At least for one of them. Good thing the one in charge was the homophobic asshole. Judging from the degree of pure hate in his voice, the man wouldn´t stand for anything he considered 'queer'. Which meant his wager was safe. And that he could aggravate them a little further.

Before he could make the next jab, the man behind him broke the silence.

"… Just how much money is in that pot?" the curious man asked.

Which confirmed for Roy who was the more experienced officer of the two, and who was basically the minion. Two unintelligent brutes didn´t deliver the desired results unless you were aiming for simply beating someone up, and two strategists might disagree with each other over the logistics of an interrogation. This was the classic paring of one strategist and one crony. Roy had known before which one was which, but he now was delighted to find out that the dumb one was rather idiotic even by these standards.

Sadly, he didn´t know just how many people had already put money into that pot and the man in front of him was obviously not willing to spill the beans either, even though Roy was sure the man knew.

"Doesn´t matter, I´m not touching some fag's junk for a bit of cash," the lead man said, clearly unhappy about the discussion. "And I´m not letting a faggot touch mine either," the man was quick to add.

Really, just when the argument looked like it might waste some precious time. Money could buy a lot of things. Roy hoped that the promise of a substantial amount might spark some greedy ideas in someone who was not much of a thinker, to put it lightly.

"But _he_ could do it… you know?" the man behind Roy said. "He just needs to, like, do it himself." He was plainly uncomfortable with the thought.

"Care to watch? Just to make sure?" Mustang almost purred, feeling the man behind him shudder in disgust.

If it weren´t for the fact of their blatant homophobia, Roy would have felt insulted, but for once the alchemist actually didn´t mind someone not being attracted to him. After all, it was mutual.

The remark brought him another punch to the face and god damn it, there had to be other places to hit as well! He kind of liked his face as it was. An awry nose might look sexy on a grizzled boxer, but not on him.

Watching his blood drip to the tiles, he vowed bloody vengeance.

* * *

Unsurprisingly, it was Hawkeye who reached the correct conclusion.

"You were planning to take him out for a picnic," she said.

Edward – and probably Alphonse as well - must have made quite the effort to prepare everything. Based on the size of the basket, she estimated that it contained a lot of food. She didn´t think a bachelor was likely to keep picnic appropriate foodstuff in his fridge at all times, and since the shops were closed yesterday, the brothers must have gone to the market very early this morning for fresh ingredients. The gesture was… rather sweet. Obviously, the team thought so as well. The surprise was evident on their faces. Riza drew her brows together in annoyance. She herself felt pleasantly surprised by what she considered a positive sign that Ed might reciprocate the Colonel's feelings, but the crew appeared to be in various states of shock, disbelief, and incomprehension. It was not a reaction she deemed appropriate for such a charming show of affection.

Ed didn´t so much as blink an eye at their reaction however. Their behavior was not outright negative, though she knew the team didn´t think much of it, but she still felt almost insulted on both the Colonel's and Ed's behalf.

So she smiled rather pleasantly, which probably really disturbed the team, and offered, "He´s not very productive today. A more substantial break might help get him back on track. Why don't you keep him out a bit longer?"

Yes, she had definitely shocked them now. Riza felt rather smug about the expressions she had put on her colleagues' faces. Edward on the other hand was instantly suspicious. It was no wonder, since the team had violated Ed's privacy using the excuse of Roy's slacking. Now she was basically offering to condone the same behavior for no apparent reason. The alchemist probably suspected she was doing it as part of her apology, but he obviously wasn´t willing to take that for granted.

He did, however, look back to the clock. His expression visibly darkened to note that his lunch date was now overdue.

"If he doesn´t show up before his break is over, it won´t matter," he groused.

That comment left Hawkeye slightly confused. She had just basically given them the afternoon, so besides the annoyance of having to wait for Roy, why should it matter to Ed when the Colonel returned? Although the practice was frowned upon due to an officer's unavailability during 'regular' work hours, Roy could even move his break. It had happened before, and theoretically, if Ed took her offer, the result would be similar.

So either he didn´t want to extend Mustang´s break, which didn´t appear to be the case, or there was more to his statement than the obvious.

With an uncomfortable feeling of apprehension, Hawkeye sent a glance towards the clock, telepathically ordering her commanding officer to show up quickly.

* * *

Something was still wrong with this picture. Things appeared to be clear, but Roy still felt that he didn't have all the facts around his predicament. The dynamic was off somehow. Something was missing and he needed to find out what it was.

"We´re going to teach you a little lesson," the dominant one said as he watched his partner force their captive to stand up. "We don´t like faggots, and we especially don´t like them parading it around." If it weren´t for the man behind him, Roy would have doubled over when the front man landed a well placed punch into his stomach. "It makes me want to puke to think that such a damn fag is a commanding officer in our fine military."

"Yes, and you're both model soldiers." Roy grated, heaving. "Just a minute ago your partner didn´t seem to mind the thought of whoring himself out for some cash."

The Colonel managed a smirk but it didn´t hold out for long when the man behind him grunted and adjusted his grip. Roy felt his shoulder being strained as his arm was twisted up father at his back, and a strong arm wrapped around his throat from behind to pull him backward. The movement put additional pressure on his bent arm to the point that Roy was sure, if he moved even a bit, he would either dislocate his shoulder or break his arm. At the same time, his throat was squeezed tight, forcing his head back and reducing his breathing to a painful, torturous rattle. A painful moan escaped him when the man pressed himself closer against his back, and he felt his shoulder stretch just the tiny bit closer to the breaking point. He forced himself to shallow his breathing, keeping his head clear. Beside his ear, the man behind him spoke.

"Boss, this faggot talks too much," the man said. "How about we shut him up?"

Just like that, Roy Mustang knew exactly what was wrong and how much more dangerous the situation really was. The tone was submissive, the title 'Boss' was a clear sign of who was in charge and who the subordinate was. But that did not change the fact that the apparent submissive man had just issued his dominant partner an order. This was not the classic military investigation setting he had expected.

Fuck. He needed to get out of here. Now.

The man in front of him wasn't the most adangerous one. It was the one behind him.

Despite the position, Roy´s free hand reached for the arm around his throat and despite the arm squeezing his airway, the Colonel let out a muffled noise of protest. He was pulled into one of the showers and his shallow breaths became painful sputtering as the water hit his face. He closed his eyes and attempted to move his face out of the water. He should stay calm, try to hold his breath, follow training, but the realization of how wrongly he had misjudged the man behind him and the thought of what might happen threw him off his game.

Finally he was moved away from the water and blinked furiously as he tried to regain a bit of air. The arm around his throat loosened a bit. He took a deep breath, realizing that he couldn´t see the other man anywhere. He must have moved out of the room. Beside his ear, a muffled chuckle came through the mask, and it was then that Roy noticed.

Panic. Terrifying panic. It didn´t take him longer than a split second to fight it down and regain his control, but the bastard behind him noticed and pressed closer. Knowing what to expect, the hardness rubbing against him didn´t surprise Roy or send him into another fit of panic, but still he instinctively tried to jerk away.

"When he´s done beating the shit out of you, I´m going to earn myself some money, Colonel." The man whispered into his ear. "And when I´m done with you, no one's going to call _me_ the whore. Not when they see you."

Roy couldn´t hold still. He simply couldn´t. There was no chance he could break loose, but he _couldn´t_ just stand still. He kicked backwards, struggled, clawed at the man's arm with his free hand but all it earned him was a little grunt, and the arm around his throat tightened. The next moment, agony was there as his shoulder finally gave up. Roy could feel the limb pop out of its joint.

He wanted to scream, but there was no breath, and while pain tore through his nerves, he choked against the lack of air. Dark spot danced before his eyes, and for a moment he was sure he would pass out. But then he could breathe again. Painful and harsh, but it was possible. Against his raspy breathing, he could hear the heavy panting of his captor. He had met a lot of sadistic psychopaths in his life, but this guy had just earned himself a special spot on that list.

The way he all but purred Roy´s military title was just one more sign of how much the guy got off on being the one who held the power. This likely wasn´t even about sex. In fact, Roy was sure his gender and preferences didn´t matter. Despite what this man's partner might think, it was not about Roy's sexuality either. It was about power and being the one who had it. It was the knowledge of what he could do to someone of superior rank, who was feared as a war hero. The bet money wasn't even an issue. Surely this man knew that stepping up to claim that prize in this manner would only earn him a court martial. He might be crazy, but he certainly wasn't stupid.

Despite the lack of air, Roy was sure he could manage to get a few words out. He wanted to tell this sick bastard to have his fun while it lasted, because it wouldn't last long. He wanted to promise that he would be too busy being fried to ash to gloat over it. And by god, he meant it. He did. He would burn this fucker to a crisp as soon as he got the chance. Roy hadn´t felt this bloodthirsty since the day Maes had almost died by the bullet fired from a homunculus' pistol. But right here, right now, in this desperate situation, he wanted to kill this man.

"There, this should do it." The other man was back, stepping in from the locker room, breaking Roy from his thoughts. Sadistic glee was clear in his voice as he returned with a few towels, torn into strips.

"Say Boss," the man behind Roy said, tone thoughtful. "You don't really want to soil your hands on this worthless fag. Why don't you just leave the rest of this dirty business to me?"

The arm around Roy´s throat had loosened slightly, and the Colonel took a few deep breaths, watching as the man in front of him mulled that suggestion over. There was no point in trying to explain to this 'dominant' man that his partner was not the idiot he pretended to be, and was instead a manipulative psychopath. He wouldn't waste his time warning the fool that he wouldn´t be in charge much longer, because only a fool would be ignorant of the way power was already shifting. This so called leader was taking orders without even realizing it. It wouldn´t be long before the better manipulator of the two would be calling the shots outright, though Roy would bet serious money that he would still shift the burden of responsibility for this fiasco to his superior's shoulders when the time came.

No, Roy was not about to waste his breath on a man who wouldn´t believe him anyway. He needed to buy time, and right now the man in front of him still had tentative control of this situation. As long as that remained the case, Roy had a fighting chance. He needed to drag this on, but his time was running out. The last thing he wanted was to be left alone with the psychotic behind him.

So despite the pain in his shoulder, he put on a confident smirk.

"So, that little spanking was all you could manage? Don´t make a fool out of yourself, soldier. You don´t have what it takes to teach me any lessons," Roy sneered.

The arm around Mustang´s throat tightened again, cutting him off. Too late – the damage was done. The homophobic asshole's eyes narrowed, accepting the challenge.

"Boss, we need to hurry this up. I can take care of him quick, and fix it so he doesn´t wake up too soon, but… what if someone comes in?" The tension in the man's voice could have been due to the risk of being caught as he attempted to 'persuade' his partner.

The man in front of Roy slashed an angry hand to silence his subordinate, and for a moment, Roy thought that the man restraining him would go for leadership and claim the right to issue orders, but he didn´t. It might have been the deeply trained deference to rank that the military drilled into recruits. Maybe it was the fact that Roy already challenged the other man, and he wouldn't respond to another provocation, particularly from a supposed subordinate, and that subordinate knew it. Whatever the reason, command of this dysfunctional team swung back to the ranking officer, and that was fine with Roy. He was definitely the lesser of two evils.

The next moment, Roy let out a painful grunt. The brutal way his arm was bent even higher put almost unbearable pressure on his dislocated shoulder, and betrayed the anger of his captor. The team's leader didn´t comment on Roy's dislodged shoulder or the rough treatment. Instead, he shoved one of the shredded bits of towel against Roy´s mouth. A large knot was forced past his teeth and he chocked, his gag reflex taking over.

"And here I thought you´d be used to that," the man in front of him mocked. "I would have thought you'd get a lot of practice sucking dick. Guess you're not very good at it, huh?" the man taunted while he bound another piece of towel around Roy's mouth, tying it at the back of his head to keep him from spitting it out.

No longer able to speak, the Colonel stared at the man, challenging. He needed to keep him angry, needed the guy to take his damn time. It was gruesome as hell, but he preferred the violent homophobe in front of him over the sadistic psychopath at his back. And hopefully, Riza Hawkeye would figure out that something was wrong and get her ass down here before the homophobe was done kicking Roy's ass. Because after the first guy was finished with him, his chances of defending himself against the second were not something Roy cared to think about.

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**Tbc.**

I admit, there is technically not much going on in terms of development ^^ Roy´s still hanging in that sticky situation but be assured, he´s not about to give up :D And I will try my best to get the next chapter out fast, so we´ll be moving on from this ^^ I know, this is basically the same cliffhanger in two chapters o.O But will you still let me know what you think?

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Jesterinblack: thank you for number 1000 ^^ Never thought that fic would reach so much… but then again, at the beginning I didn´t think it would be more than 20 chapter at most….

Guest: Congratulations on your stamina XD Oh, you´re putting together some good thoughts ^.~ As you can see, your guess had been right on Investigations :D Those two had been mentioned before ^^ (Making it easy for Roy… I consider giving him a break ^.~ )

Shane: Something like that, yes :D Make that one homophobe and one psychopath playing the homophobe ^^ That´s a pretty decent guess, I´d say ^.~ I´ll try my best to get the next one out soon, so we´ll be finally moving along the plot

Nisey: I hope it was good for you ^^° No? I´ll have to try harder than ._.

Noreen: Don´t feel dumbass! Really, don't! I really liked your review and I´m happy someone said the thing you did :D Your language was fine and I actually enjoyed your phrases very much. Actually, I love your comments XD I think you could make quite a lot of people laugh if you picked on writing ^.~ *hint* And I´d rather you overreact than the opposite ^.~

Okay…. After reading what you expected… I´m happy I didn´t do that XD however, it would make kind of a good crack fic ^^ But sadly, you are very right in your description. Things like that did happen before and whenever I´m reading a fic, perfectly content with how it´s going and then something happens – like the sudden and brutal injection of a Mary Sue who the main character just has to fall in love with, because she´s so lovely…. That is the moment you wish to be able to turn back time ._. Or you wish for a guarantee stating that if you repeatedly bash your head against the wall, you get amnesia. And I´d do that.

I´m really honored you think so highly of the writing ^^° Although I think Ca11iope has earned a lot of that phrase. Greeting to your Phasmatodea XD From now on, I will think of you whenever I see one :D Let´s hope the name doesn´t rub off, though ^^° Otherwise your jarnsaxa might get a few very strange ideas, not sure if you'd appreciate that ^^ … okay, I guess you probably would. Anyways, I´m happy you enjoyed the story and I´m content with typing my wannabe deeper thoughts and letting a few people have a good time reading them ^^ I enjoy experimenting and see what we can make out of some 'cartoon kiddy stories' and where that leads us ^.~ (your friends are aware that there are some not really kiddy-friendly kiddy stories out there? There are a few titles I´d love for them to read and see if they still consider them fit for kids XD ) If I ever write some original work, I´ll let you know ^.~

I`m not sure this fic would work without any smut, cause let´s face it: Roy´s dick is one of the main characters here XD But there are a few others I where I thing leaving things for the imagination of the reader might be better ^^ But as you recommended, I´ll thank you for the compliment and move on ^.~

And nowI think, I also need shut up, because obviously, I enjoy responding to your comments too much and I don´t think people will appreciate this reply getting longer than the story itself XD I´m happy you like the work, I´ll do my best to get out the next chapter faster and as long as Ca11iope stays my beta and I´m able to write, there will always be another chapter until the fic is over ^.~ Looking forward to see you and take care!


	39. Rage and What to Do With It

**A/N:** Again, so long ._. I haven´t answered any reviews, I figured you would much more like to read the update sooner than later. You guys left so many amazing reviews, I love them ^^ They are one of the reasons I´m still kicking RL back from time to time and procrastinate my work to write this ^^° I´d love to write you back, but knowing me, the answers would become huge and lengthy and you´d have to wait even longer ._. I do try to at a few, but I haven´t been able to answer all of them yet and I´m not sure when and if I will be able to do so. This is not meant to be a lack of appreciation, it´s simply a lack of time and an absolutely random approach at answering ^^° But I do hope all of you will enjoy the chapter! I wish you much fun reading.

**Beta&Co-Author:** The most adored Ca11iope. Consider this a quick "still alive"-message and I haven´t forgotten about the email I promised to send you ^^°

**What happened so far**: I know, I forgot this the last time, but here is a quick – unbetaed- sort of summary to bring you up to date ^^ You don't need it? Skip the italic.

_When Roy was finally willing to tell Ed about the bet, the confession was interrupted by Hughes, demanding a private talk. Shortly before Roy left Ed´s apartment, he and Ed agreed to meet at Roy´s lunch break on Monday. In the car, Maes decided to confront the Colonel´s about his behavior and questioned his intentions towards Ed, which resulted in a fight between the two friends. _

_With several unresolved issues nagging on him, Roy went to his booked gym session, scheduled shortly before his lunch break. But before he left to meet with Ed, Roy was attacked by two men, who managed to restrain him. While Roy is being held captive, Ed is waiting in the office for their meeting and the promised answers._

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**Chapter 38: Rage and What to Do With It**

A dark, brooding aura seemed to radiate from Edward, getting stronger each minute the Colonel failed to show up. Both Breda and Fuery leaned away, as if the mood might be contagious - or perhaps the wrath of the former Fullmetal Alchemist might crash down on them instead of their missing superior.

Havoc, whose instincts were screaming at him to leave the room by any means possible, including the window, nervously glanced at the clock.

Seeking to defuse the unbearable tension, Hawkeye spoke up.

"You might want to pick him up," she advised.

Jean dearly hoped Ed would take that advice and leave to kick Mustang's unpunctual ass or whatever, as long as 'whatever' provided an outlet for Ed's clearly violent intentions, and was done as far away from Havoc as possible.

Ed's eyes shifted towards the sharpshooter, and he frowned. The second Lieutenant could almost see the wheels turning in the young man´s head.

"Just what kind of meeting is he in?" Edward asked.

Jean´s eyebrows went up in surprise. Ed must have assumed that Mustang was in an officer's conference; he obviously didn´t know about the booked gym session. For a moment Havoc was surprised that the alchemist didn´t just ask where to find Mustang and then go crash the meeting to haul the Colonel out to lunch. It was hard to get used to Ed as an adult. There wouldn't be any consequence to Edward dragging Roy's sorry ass out of the gym however, so Havoc was quick to spill the beans. Anything to get the moody blond out of the room so Ed could release his aggression somewhere else.

But the moment Havoc said, "He´s at the gym, working out," the dark aura around the younger blond cracked, and Ed perked up in interest.

"Is he?" the young man asked, then quickly added, "Which gym?"

"South wing, lower level," Hawkeye told him, doing an admirable job of appearing unaffected by Ed´s sudden eagerness.

As the alchemist turned to leave, Havoc couldn´t help but add, "If you hurry, you might catch him in the shower."

Ed sent quite the potent glare Havoc's way, but the effect was completely ruined by the prominent blush spreading over his face. Even Fuery couldn´t help but let out a suppressed snicker at the display.

The alchemist huffed as he opened the door. "I´ll go pick him up," the young man announced.

The moment the door closed behind him, quiet chuckles were heard. Quiet, because no one wanted to risk Ed hearing them through the door.

However, all sounds of amusement died when Hawkeye also stood up.

"Hawkeye?" Havoc asked perplexed. "Are you planning to check if Ed gets him to lose the bet?" the second Lieutenant wanted to know. It was a good possibility if Edward did find a naked Mustang in the shower.

Riza again looked at the clock and frowned.

"That too," she claimed, but it didn´t sound convincing, especially when she checked her holstered weapon.

"Huh?" The Second Lieutenant was rather dumbfounded.

"Don't you think it´s strange that the Colonel hasn´t shown up yet? I'm sure he wouldn't forget that he had a lunch date with Edward," she said as she stepped out of the office. "Stay here," she ordered as she closed the door behind her.

"She's right," Breda said, eying the picnic basket.

Quietly humming, Havoc looked to the door. "Now that you mention it…" he muttered as he took in Fuery's worried scowl. "Whatever´s going on, Hawkeye will deal with it," the blond quickly said to reassure the younger soldier.

There were very few things that the Hawk couldn't handle. But just in case, Havoc picked up the phone and called Maes Hughes' office. Hawkeye had ordered them to stay put. She hadn't placed any restrictions on arranging for back up.

* * *

As if punching Roy in the face wasn't enough, the man in front of him was displaying behavior typical of someone obsessed about something.

They tended to talk about it. A lot.

In some respects Roy was thankful for that, because while the man was ranting, he spent less time hitting him. Still, after ten solid minutes of being called, among other things, 'sick', 'disgusting', 'freak', and 'fag', the Colonel wasn't entirely sure if he didn't prefer the punches and kicks, though the raving man showed a clear preference for hitting Roy in the face.

Behind him, the other man was no longer listening, apparently bored with his superior's verbal tirade, and not as enthusiastic when not in charge. He no doubt assumed that with a dislocated shoulder Roy would be incapable of putting up much of a fight. His hold on his captive was loosening by degrees as the man's mind wandered, likely into some psychopathic dream world.

"It´s unnatural! Sick and unnatural!" The man in front of Roy continued his rant, and the Colonel wondered if this was some new kind of torture invented by Investigations. If so, it had potential. The guy leaned forward and spat his words into Roy´s face – or rather, into the cotton of his mask. "It´s like a disgusting disease infecting our fine military. Shits like you are a cancer, spreading the infection to the healthy parts."

Someone obviously hadn´t been paying much attention in school. When Roy made Führer, he would look into improvements to the education system, and raise the minimum educational requirements of applicants for both enlisted men and officers. A soldier should have a minimal amount of general knowledge even if it wasn't directly related to the military. Not only that, Roy wondered where this man had gotten the impression that someone could be infected with homosexuality. Did this moron really believe that a person could catch gayness like a cold?

The next hit into Roy's stomach almost made him throw up. Bitter bile rose up his throat and for a moment, he feared he might choke on it as the gag prevented him from spitting it out. A low chuckle announced the approval of the one holding him up.

"Pay attention, fag!" the man in front of him roared. "Do you know what we do with cancer cells? We cut them out. That's how we'll get rid of all the little fags like you. We´ll cut them out. Of the military and the rest of society. We'll get rid of all you sick freaks!"

Oh boy, he was really working himself up into a frenzy.

"I'd like to give the Flame faggot a taste of his own medicine! Burn him and all his little fag friends off the face of the earth! Stop wasting valuable resources on them!"

The man's words struck an ugly chord with Roy. The raving man's narrow-minded view of what was right and what was wrong, of people discriminated against to the point of murder, all because of minor differences … it reminded Roy of his own role in the Ishval extermination, so very similar to what Ed had told him about Germany. Assholes like this one had been in charge both there and here. Men who didn't spare a second thought about slaughtering their fellow man in the name of prejudice and racism, regardless of age or gender. Whole families lost. Whole cultures destroyed. All at the whim of bigoted madmen.

Roy was barefoot, but his kick was hard enough for him to break the man´s nose. The crack of bone and howl of pain were very satisfying. The Colonel's sudden attack warned his captors that he was not as helpless as he seemed, but the urge to kick in the bastard's face had been overwhelming.

Roy felt the dirtbag behind him move to tighten his grip, and the Colonel threw himself back with as much force as he could manage on the slippery tiles. His injured left shoulder flared into a pure source of pain as they collided with the wall. His own muffled scream along with the sound of the other man´s head hitting the tiles were completely drowned out by the noise the showers made, but it was worth it. The man´s grip loosened enough for Roy to shove the elbow of his uninjured arm into the man´s solar plexus, and the arms around him lost their strength. Instantly Roy used the chance to dive to the side, out of reach of the man behind and the one in front who was closing in fast with fists at the ready. Moving as quickly as he could, Roy nearly sipped on the slick tiles. His body attempted to regain his balance and another painful stab from his shoulder almost brought him to his knees anyway. The adrenaline rushing through his veins enabling him to ignore the pain, but the gag made it hard to breathe and the Colonel fought off a wave of dizziness. Keeping his opponents in sight, Roy backed farther away from them. His good hand reached for the gag, trying to loosen the knot as he assessed the situation. Both men had positioned themselves strategically. One had moved to block the exit while the other was cautiously moving in the opposite direction in a flanking maneuver. Roy was forced into a corner to keep both men in his line of sight.

Fucking gag. Where the hell did those assholes learn to tie the damn things? It was like trying to untie a Gordian knot with only one hand, but he couldn't give up; he needed to breathe. The increasing feeling of suffocation was not helping.

The man at the door was slowly advancing while his partner angled in from the opposite direction, and the Colonel gave up on the gag. He would need his only functioning arm to defend himself when they attacked. Roy went through possible scenario, determined to come up with a solution, but nothing came to mind. Kimbley might have been a psychopath, but right now the idea of having an array permanently tattooed on your skin seemed like a great idea. Roy would even settle for a knife to reopen the scars on his hand, but he'd still need a spark, and it wasn't like he had enough time to carve the array anyway.

His adversaries were closing in and Roy knew his time was running out. He wouldn´t have much of a chance to escape if they managed to grab him again, so he acted fast.

As Investigations officers these men were likely used to subduing prisoners, expecting to be assailed by desperate suspects. It was only natural to anticipate an attack from a cornered opponent, and they would most certainly expect an attack from Roy, assuming he might try to surprise them. So he did exactly what they expected. Or at least, he pretended to. Injured and barefoot on this slick surface he wouldn't have much of a chance in an actual fight, but his apparent act of desperation still got the desired result.

Roy went for the one closest to the door, the one who thought himself the commander of the operation. The man was used to giving orders, and although he certainly had some training, he was probably more accustomed to having subordinates handle the physically aspects of the job. Roy hoped that the man's reflexes would be a bit slower than the other man's.

Roy's injured left shoulder forced him to attack with his right. It was almost like a pre-written script. The man acted just as Roy expected him to; he moved to block Roy's right handed strike while the position of his body telegraphed his intention to follow up with an attack to the Colonel's injured side.

Asshole.

Roy really wished he could hit the man, but that would be foolish. Instead of attacking, the Colonel abruptly changed his course and dashed to the side. Again, he almost lost his footing, but he regained his balance when his body hit the wall. Despite his uninjured shoulder colliding with the tiles, another sharp and painful jab from his injured shoulder made his body feel like his nerves were aflame. Cradling his injured arm close, Roy darted past the man as he attempted to adjust to Roy's sudden change of course, almost running straight into his partner. The Colonel didn´t pay him any attention; he couldn´t risk turning around and wasting any time. His naked feet slid dangerously on the wet floor, but his goal was his gloves in the next room. If he managed to reach them-

Roy didn´t have time to register the weight pulling him down when the second man tackled him. All his senses were aflame with pain when he hit the ground, just two steps away from the door and his weapons. The gag muffled his scream, and for a moment he must have blacked out, because suddenly he was not on his stomach anymore, but lying on his back. One of the Investigations Officers was kneeling on his chest, hands reaching for Roy´s throat. Judging by the blood staining through his mask, it had to be the one whose nose Roy had broken.

"Screw it, I´ll just kill you right now, you damn-" His rant was cut short by Roy's fist in his face, but instead of loosening his hold, the man howled with rage and _squeezed_.

If weren´t for the gag, Roy would have been wheezing and gasping as he was no longer able to breathe at all. He couldn´t properly punch or kick the man sitting on him, so the Colonel pressed a hand into the man´s face, fingers clawing at his attacker's eyes. The man threw himself back and Roy snorted in deep breathes as the hands left his throat. Roy kicked at the man, hoping for the satisfying sound of another breaking bone. Unfortunately, before he could land a solid blow, a heavy military boot stomped his injured shoulder – his other assailant jumping into the fray. Roy's body convulsed with pain, the gag muffling another pain filled howl. The Colonel's vision darkened and he tried to take deep breaths through his nose in an attempt to not lose consciousness. Pain radiated from his shoulder, and his vision swam in and out. It took him a moment, but through the pain he noticed a strange tingling on his skin. It was a feeling that he, as an alchemist, knew well. It was the residual ionic surge that charged the air after an array was activated - the tingle left behind by a transmutation.

And then there was shouting, and splashing. A gunshot tore through the rushing sound of the running showers. Roy tried to get up, but his shoulder protested the movement. Then there were hands. One pair, then another. Not attacking, but supporting his body, helping him to sit up. Looking up to his right, the Colonel saw an unfamiliar soldier, his uniform identifying the man an officer of the Military police. The man was pale, but his hands were steady as they eased him up. The other pair of hands was touching his body, feeling his arms, his legs, his ribs. The touch was gentle but firm, well practiced and efficient. Still, despite the gentle pressure, Roy had to bite down hard on the rope to keep himself from letting out another pain filled moan when the hands prodded his injured shoulder.

"It´s dislocated."

Roy turned around too fast and jammed his wounded shoulder against Ed´s automail arm. He pulled away and cradled his arm close, biting down on the towel between his teeth again. His shoulder throbbed in pain as the tortured muscles spasmed.

Oh hell.

Ed had quickly let go of Roy's shoulder and returned to simply holding him steady in an upright sitting position. When he was sure Roy wouldn´t lose his balance, he turned to the man kneeling at Roy´s other side.

"Keep him steady," Ed ordered.

The soldier did as he was told, and Roy felt his arm being manipulated. It was painful, even though it was clear that Edward was taking great care to do it as slowly and gently as possible. Disoriented, Roy found it strange, considering who was so tenderly examining him; the movements practiced and deliberate. What could he be doing, maneuvering Roy's arm like that? Roy suddenly realized what Ed was up to, but he didn´t have time to protest before the younger man gripped Roy's arm with his automail hand, and placed his other hand around Roy's waist. Quickly pulling Roy in to a tight embrace, he stretched the dark-haired man's arm above his head. It was not a technique Roy recognized, but it was effective all the same. The Colonel felt his shoulder shift back into place with a sickening pop. Biting down on the gag again, Roy took deep breaths through his nose, mentally cursing Ed through hell and back. The pain soon began to ebb however, and though Roy's shoulder still throbbed, the blinding pain of the dislocation was gone. The young man released Roy and stared into the older man's eyes, but not in any kind of romantic manner. He was clearly looking for something.

And Roy was beginning to feel a bit put out. Ed's reaction to this situation was by no means what could be expected someone who cared. Yes, Edward was ensuring that Roy was alright, but his behavior was so distant, as if he was taking care of a total stranger. His golden eyes were coolly calculating as he calmly lifted Roy's chin, forcing him to look up at the ceiling. Roy wanted to close his eyes against the bright light, and a pounding at the back of his head promised one hell of a headache on the way.

Roy had dealt with enough hostage situations to know how most people behaved when reunited with their rescued loved ones. They tended to fuss over them, touching and kissing as if to reassure themselves that their endangered lovers were really safe. Roy would have appreciated some of that kind of attention right now, very much. Especially since Edward was almost as wet as he was, and his clothing was sticking to him in a very fetching manner. But no. No fussing. No kissing. And except for the quick, distracting embrace that was really nothing more than a way to brace Roy up for the shoulder repair – no physical contact whatsoever.

Roy really wished that for once Ed might get a clue from some sappy cliché novel, get rid of Roy's gag, and offer Roy some fucking comfort. Did he have to be so clinical? Did his idea of romance include relocating a shoulder without medication? Roy Mustang was no stranger to pain, but he sure as hell didn't set himself up for it unnecessarily. Not to mention that this wasn't the way he would choose play doctor with Ed. The Colonel lifted his good arm to yank at the gag while glaring at his completely indifferent almost-lover.

"Don´t do that, just let me see your-" Ed stopped when the Colonel raised his injured arm to help in the struggle with the damn piece of towel in his mouth.

Ed grabbed his wrist and Roy felt a sudden flare of anger at being manhandled this way. It ebbed down a bit when Ed reached over to unbind the gag himself. Using both hands, he was far more effective than the Colonel. In a moment he was spitting out the cloth and working the kink out of his jaw.

"Did you take a hit to the head? Black out? Miss a few moments?" the young man asked quietly.

The Colonel was not really eager to admit he didn´t know just when exactly he had been turned on his back after he had been tackled to the ground, but his silence was answer enough. Ed thankfully stopped his questions and sighed.

"Your eyes are weird. I think you've got a concussion," the blond said apologetically.

Great. Like he didn´t have enough crap to deal with. But it did explain the dizziness when he stood up. Roy swayed, and immediately felt Ed´s arm slide around his waist, mindful of the freshly relocated shoulder, as the soldier stepped closer for added support.

Even though he knew he was being irrational, Roy's temper flared. It was ridiculous; he wanted to snap at them, tell them he was able to stand on his own. But ordering them to back off would mean that Edward would step away, and the young man was distant enough as it was. Roy wanted to save whatever remained of his dignity, but at the same time he just wanted Ed to come closer, wanted to feel the other man´s body against his side.

Shaking off his indecisiveness, Roy took in his surroundings. The large, transmuted fist jutting out from the tiled wall must have been used to smack one of his captors. At the far end of the room, another soldier was turning off the showers. Two more were keeping one of his attackers captive. Without his mask and despite the broken nose, Roy recognized him as the man who had tailed them during the art exhibition. One of Arschloch's men, according to Hughes. Roy would have to determine if these two men were acting on their own. It appeared that way, but appearance was one thing, insurance another. Roy couldn´t risk overlooking a General as his enemy. He had to be sure, one way or the other.

Then he noticed Hawkeye, her weapon at the ready. She wasn't aiming, but she wouldn´t need to. That woman was fast, and her target was already down. The man lay on the floor, gripping his bleeding thigh. Another pair of soldiers were standing close, both of them pointing their weapons at the wounded man. No one seemed eager to do anything for the suspect other than to keep him from standing, which, with a bullet in his leg, was unlikely anyway.

The Hawk noticed Roy's gaze, and after a quick exchange with the soldiers around her, she came over to him. When she saluted, Roy became aware of his own appearance and state of undress, but the blond sharpshooter, always the professional, ignored his lack of clothing from the waist up and the fact that his uniform trousers were dripping water on the tiled floor.

"Sir, Investigations is heading our way and-"

"And they can ask their questions in the hospital wing," Ed snapped, appearing very much like a lioness protecting her cubs.

With the headache building to a steady pound, Roy sent a disapproving glance his way. He refused to be treated like a helpless child, especially in front of military personal. Ed stared back and bit his lip, then thankfully remained silent. Hopefully, he got the point. The young man's moods shifted far too fast for Roy to cope with in his current state.

"Thank you, Lieutenant," the Flame Alchemist said. "Clear my schedule for the rest of the day and set up an appointment with investigations. Consult Dr. Streng for a time when I will be available," Roy instructed.

Riza, looking as unfazed and proficient as ever, saluted sharply, then moved to the rather wet soldier who had just finished shutting off the showers, likely to issue some orders of her own.

"Done?" Ed asked, thankfully in a quiet tone this time.

Deciding that nodding would only increase his dizziness and headache, Roy answered just as silently.

"Yes."

"Good." The blond turned toward the soldier who still stood at Roy´s side. "Run ahead to the medical wing and make sure they are prepared to receive a patient with multiple contusions and a possible concussion," the younger alchemist instructed. His military time seemed to have rubbed off on him, because it sounded very much like an order.

"Sir, I think we should get him to the hos-"

"Medical wing," Ed snarled, and then for good measurement, he barked out, "Now!"

What the military tone in the first order didn´t accomplish, the pure venom in this one did. The young soldier even quickly saluted before he jumped to leave Roy´s field of vision, probably to run to Medical as if hellhounds were at his heels. Not that anyone would blame him after Ed´s display of temper. When the blond man turned to him, the Colonel got the impression that Edward Elric was not someone he wanted to upset any further right now.

Despite the foul mood the young man was in, Roy still felt quite content when Edward, now his only support – not that he needed any, mind you – shifted closer to his uninjured side, flesh arm still around the Colonels naked waist. The younger man was also wet and must have felt the chill in the damp air of the shower room, but against Roy´s body he felt comfortably warm. It was tempting to just lean in and take some comfort; Roy even had a perfect excuse: he was wounded and probably had a conclusion. But he also was a soldier and ranked officer. Colonel Roy Mustang couldn´t show weakness in front of other military personal. He was about to step away from Ed and straighten himself, to take control of the situation, to give the orders, as was required of a soldier of his status. However, before he could, someone else decided to cut in.

It seemed to Roy that some people had no survival instinct when it came to their own stupidity. There was no other explanation for why someone with a broken nose, held prisoner by two soldiers of the Military Police, would start an offensive rant. Roy had hoped he wouldn´t have to hear any more of this nonsense today, but unfortunately he was not spared. Staring at Ed´s arm settled around Roy's waist, the idiot started raving. Practically foaming at the mouth, the now unmasked Investigations officer launched his verbal attack.

"Look at them! Can´t tell me that´s right! Disgusting, sick faggots! Tainting our fine military and society and spreading like a damn disease! They need to be taken care of, we need to get rid of them all, we need to wipe out the whole lot of -"

Ed hadn't appeared to be paying attention the man – until his diatribe started to include suggestion of widespread violence against gays. From that moment, Roy felt the arm around him tense, the body next to his becoming rigid and frozen. Then Edward snapped.

And good lord, Edward was fast. And shocking in his unrestrained violence. Before the men trying to restrain their struggling and raving captive even registered him, Ed was there, the prisoner's collar fisted in his hand, the first punch landed. Ed got a second one in before anyone even moved, and by time the other three officers came rushing over, a third one was added. No more insults would make it out of the beaten man´s mouth anytime soon, because in mere seconds, his face was hamburger. Roy had seen pictures of Shou Tucker after a certain young alchemist had attacked him in a pure, unfiltered rage. It hadn't been pretty. And this time Alphonse wasn't around to put a stop to it. The young blond was struggling against the two officers who held his arms and the third who was wrapped around Ed´s torso, all trying to hold him back.

And they were unable to do so.

With his arms restrained, the former Fullmetal shot out a single, well placed kick to the groin before the prisoner was pulled out of range. The man would have folded up like a pocket knife if he hadn´t been held by the two MPs. The pain filled whine coming out of his swollen and bloody lips was not of a pitch Roy thought possible for a man to reach.

Ed had used his automail leg.

Every man present cringed in reaction, united in visceral understanding of that kind of pain. Even Roy shuddered despite the abuse he had taken from the man, wondering how to go about defusing Edward's rage before he actually killed the miserable bigot. The expression on the blond´s face sent shivers down Roy's spine. In all the time he had known him, Roy had never seen Edward lose control so completely. Another soldier had joined his comrades to help restrain the alchemist, and Roy watched them struggle just to keep the cursing and shouting Edward in place while two more men pulled their now whimpering Investigations captive away.

More men entered the shower room, Maes Hughes among them much to Roy's relief. The Lieutenant Colonel took in the scene and immediately moved to Edward, though a moment was required to get over the shock of seeing this devil incarnate who resembled the blond alchemist he knew so well. Hughes quickly stepped between the older Elric and his target, attempting to defuse the situation. Roy heard his friend's soothing tones, his clam insistence that they needed the man alive for interrogation, heard Ed argue irately back, though Roy was finding it difficult to understand what the younger man was saying. Slowly but surely Maes managed to talk Edward down. Still plainly enraged, Ed finally calmed enough for the soldiers restraining him to loosen their hold. The blond snarled a final curse at his cowering victim as he stepped back, but now his insulting words were clear.

The Colonel frowned. Why weren´t Ed´s words making sense before? Was Roy that badly concussed? Reflecting on what Ed had been shouting during his outburst, he realized that he couldn´t recall a single recognizable word. It was as if Ed had been speaking . . .

Another language. The thought was like yet another fist in the face. Roy immediately knew _which_ language, and reason for Ed´s loss of control was suddenly much clearer.

Roy was aware of the political situation in the other world; he knew how the people there viewed homosexuality, but hadn't considered the extent to which they reacted towards those they considered unfit. He had assumed Ed had managed to avoid any direct confrontation, but now Roy was sure there the young man had suffered much more hardship in that respect than he had admitted. He must have, for this situation to affect him to such an extreme. Theories, speculation, and hypotheses played through Roy's mind, and an uncomfortable feeling of foreboding took hold of him, turning his insides into one hard knot. He had another clue to Edward's mystery, but this puzzle was not shaping up into a pleasant picture.

He must have become lost in his thoughts, because Roy flinched when someone took hold of his right hand and tugged him toward the door. Looking up, Roy noticed that although Ed had calmed down, there was still a rigid tension in his body as the man led him out of the shower area.

"Let´s get you to the medical wing," the blond said, his voice carefully controlled and loaded with suppressed emotions at the same time.

Roy didn´t really care that his only clothing was his wet uniform pants, though they must have made quite the spectacle as the young blond, soaking wet as well, dragged the half naked Colonel through the hall towards Medical as if the higher ranked officer was a child that had to be guided by the hand. However, no one dared to say a word or step in their way, most likely warned by the dark expression on Edward's face, and perhaps by the pale-faced soldier running ahead to alert the medical wing of their imminent arrival. Warned or not, soldiers stared as they passed. A winged pink rhino dancing through the corridors wouldn't have caused more of a stir. This was bound to damage Roy's hard-ass reputation.

And he found that he didn´t care at all.

He must have hit his head really, really hard. Instead of worrying over what this display meant to his status as one of Amestris' most dangerous alchemists, Roy felt almost giddy over the fact that for once – and even more so after what had just happened – Ed was not backing down from a show of public affection. They were walking down the hall, holding hands in public like any couple.

Edward would likely insist that he was only guiding Roy along, and stubbornly growl to anyone who would listen that affection had nothing to do with it, but Roy knew better. An impersonal hand to the elbow would better serve that purpose. Roy felt pretty good about it, though he did manage to keep his smug grin to himself. Hopefully whatever fallout resulted wouldn´t leave any permanent damage. Either way, Roy couldn't bring himself to care.

**Tbc.**

* * *

I tried to make this not a cliffhanger, but I´m not sure it worked ^^°

Hope to see you next chapter :D

jarna


	40. Fractured Nights and Near Mi

**A/N:** Yes, still alive. Again, so long ._. I haven´t answered any reviews again as well, since… well, it´s so long u.u I want to let you know however, that the reviews were one of the reasons to get on with this and keep writing, even though RL was disastrous the last year. Thank you so much for those ^^

**Beta&Co-Author:** Ca11iope, who did a wonderful job again ^^ I adore my beta :D And I´m quite abusing the fact that everytime I send a titleless chapter, it comes back titled ^^° Thank you!

**What happened so far**: Another – unbetaed- sort of summary to bring you up to date ^^ Skip the italic if you don´t need it.

_With several unresolved issues nagging on him, Roy went to his booked gym session, scheduled shortly before his lunch break. But before he left to meet with Ed, Roy was attacked by two men, who managed to restrain him. While Roy is being held captive, Ed is waiting in the office with a pick nick basket for their meeting and the promised answers. When Roy failed to show up, Ed went to investigate and found the Colonel fighting. With the use of Ed´s alchemy, the fight was quickly settled down and the attackers were captured by the military police. Ed lost his temper after the captured men insisted on their homophobe views and finally dragged the concussed Colonel off to the hospital wing. _

* * *

Chapter 39: Fractured Nights and Near Misses

At the entrance to the medical wing Roy could see the young soldier Ed had sent ahead. He was obviously watching for them, and the moment he saw them, his jaw went slack. He quickly jumped out of the way as if he feared getting bulldozed by a blond, wet alchemist, a full head shorter than him, dragging an equally wet superior officer along by the hand.

Not that Roy blamed him; it was probably a smart move.

The woman at the reception desk almost fell out of her chair when Edward stomped up to address her.

"Is there some fucking place around here where we can wait without being stared at like damn animals in a cage?!" the blond demanded to know.

The nurse pointed wordlessly at one of the examination rooms, and Edward pulled Roy toward it and inside.

This room wasn't like the examination rooms Roy was familiar with from previous visits. It was more like a hospital room, with a bed instead of an examination table. The nurse rushed in behind them, but was quickly ordered out by Ed, who demanded that she fetch a doctor. Finally letting go of Roy´s hand, the blond took the time to slam the door behind her before turning to face Mustang.

The Colonel felt as if he should say something, but his mind was wiped blank. Now that they were behind closed doors, safe from prying eyes, the young man stepped closer, stopping just in front of Roy, and for the first time the older man noticed the small tremors running through the blond´s body. Ed stared at him, eyes wide and full of an emotion Roy couldn't even begin to grasp. For just a moment, Ed appeared as if he was ready to break down, keeping himself together though sheer determination, his face twisted as if it hurt to even look at Roy. Then the young man visibly forced himself back into control, and it was over before Roy could react.

Roy didn´t know what to expect next. Perhaps a violent embrace, or maybe, after the display moments before, Ed completely falling apart. Instead the young man swallowed hard, shaking his head, and Roy could actually _see_ Edward building walls up between them. Then he reached to gently cup the Colonel's left elbow.

"We need to immobilize this," he said, as if only now remembering that he had relocated Mustang´s shoulder just a few minutes ago. "Let´s see if there´s a sling somewhere in all this crap." Ed turned to start rummaging around in the drawers and cabinets, perfectly composed.

For a moment, Roy was sure he was imagining things. Observing the blond, realization finally clicked in.

Ed was not distant because he didn´t care, but because he cared too much. The young man was doing the very same thing Roy did in emergency situations: he concentrated on one thought, one task, and shoved everything else aside. It was an attempt to reach for normality, an attempt to hold chaos at bay and keep emotions in check. However, that strategy obviously wasn't working for Ed; he had lost control of his emotions when his temper snapped. The young man had caught himself again and was desperately trying to slip back into the role he had chosen to get through this, but it was clear his walls were shaky and ready to crumble. Roy had just witnessed another crack.

The Colonel wondered how long it would take for that wall to fall apart completely.

"Ed-" Roy started, then stopped, unsure how to continue.

The blond appeared not to hear him. He simply continued to paw through the cabinets, muttering to himself. The locks were no match for his automail, breaking with very little effort. Ed was making quite the mess. Dr. Streng and his nurses would be ecstatic, that was for sure. Right now, however, Roy´s sympathy for the medical staff was low on his list of priorities. Surprisingly, he wasn't all that concerned about his own well-being either, though he was bruised, most likely suffering a concussion, and had just endured a shoulder reduction. But his mind was alert and focused on Edward regardless. The Colonel knew the state the blond was currently in, and he planned to take full advantage of the fact that the younger man seemed to have lowered his defences around Roy.

The blond finally found what he was looking for, and when he returned to Roy's side with his prize, Roy was ready. As Edward reached out to fit the sling to Roy´s left arm, the Colonel reached out with his right hand, gripping the younger man´s flesh wrist.

Ed´s reaction was instant. He shook off the Colonel´s hand and attempted to continue as if nothing had happened.

"Ed-" Roy started again.

"Not now." The blond interrupted.

Stubborn mule. Too bad for him that the Colonel was just a stubborn. Again, Roy reached for the other man, but this time he didn´t try for Ed's wrist. Instead, he reached out to brush some of the wet hair out of Ed´s face, carefully caressing a high cheekbone as he tucked a strand behind Ed´s ear. The young man froze, then laid the sling aside and reached for Roy´s hand to gently remove it from his face. Letting blond hair slip away through his fingers, Roy took hold of Ed´s hand and pulled him closer. He was met with resistance, but it was faint. There were already too many cracks in Ed´s wall for him to put up much of a fight. Roy easily pulled him closer, until he could feel his warm and tense body again. The younger man was still trembling almost imperceptibly, but standing this close Roy could easily feel it. The tremble became a shiver as Roy bent down far enough for his lips to brush against the blonde´s temple.

Edward closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath. For just a second he stood still, neither encouraging nor discouraging Roy´s behavior. Then he seemed to calm down a bit, and some of the tension left his body.

"The doctor will be here any minute," he muttered quietly, but still tilted his head up to press a fleeting kiss on Roy´s lips, before he stepped back. "And I´ll need to-"

"You need to dry yourself. You are dripping on the floor." Dr. Steng´s tone was as dry as he most likely wanted the two men in his examining room to be.

Immediately, the small measure of progress Roy had made in getting Ed to lower his walls was ruined and the blond was on guard again, eying both Dr. Streng and the nurse accompanying him warily.

The Colonel suppressed a frustrated sigh and turned towards the doctor, who was observing him critically.

"Get behind that screen and change," the man ordered, pointing towards a privacy screen Roy hadn´t noticed until now.

He already knew better than to argue with the doctor, so Roy hastily turned to comply.

But when the medic added, "Mathilda will assist you," Roy stopped short and turned around.

The nurse, Mathilda, eagerly moved over to Roy, stopping at one of the closets to retrieve a – oh, he knew it - hospital gown and a towel.

"I don´t need-"

"You shouldn´t use that arm." Streng interrupted in a 'Why do I even have to tell you this?' tone.

The glance he sent towards Roy spoke volumes about what he thought about his patient's protest, and remembering the last time he received such a stare from the man – which ended with cold Vaseline being used as lubricant – Roy clamped his mouth shut.

"Come right this way, Colonel. Let´s get you out of those wet clothes," Mathilda said as she carefully steered him past the screen.

His view was now blocked, the Colonel listened to Ed attempting the very thing Roy knew was pointless to try: argue with Streng.

"I can help him," the blond pointed out.

"No."

"But-"

"You are Edward Elric, aren´t you?"

He didn´t hear Ed´s answer, distracted by the nurse as she carefully removed the sling and helped him into a hospital gown, doing her best to cause Roy the least amount of pain. Thankfully, the woman was efficient and careful, two excellent qualities to expect of one's nurse. She was considerate of his privacy as well, only helping Roy to take off his trousers and underwear after the gown was in place, for which Roy was grateful.

When he stepped out from behind the privacy screen, he found that Edward was with talking with Hughes at the door. For a fleeting moment, Roy wondered what they were talking about and if he should worry. However, he was just too exhausted to worry anymore. He wasn´t too fatigued to feel a small twinge of schadenfreude when Ed pretty much stood Hughes up the moment he saw that Roy was back. The look on Hughes´ face as the blond abandoned him midsentence was sour, but unsurprised.

Before Edward reached him, Dr. Streng intervened.

"We will need to do some testing," the man said while he scribbled on his patient's chart, not even bothering to look up. "Visitors are not allowed to be present for that." The protest he expected prompted the doctor to glance at Ed, who was in fact opening his mouth to object to that rule. "You can see him immediately afterwards."

"I don't think-" Ed didn´t even get to finish his sentence.

"Ed and I have some things to talk over anyway," Hughes said, coming up behind the blond man.

Edward, once again interrupted, frowned and shot a look towards the Investigations Officer that Roy couldn´t quite interpret.

Ideally, Roy would have preferred to have the blond at his side. It would prevent Hughes from meddling, and… well, he would have the blond at his side. However, he knew it was against protocol, and protesting or pulling rank wouldn´t work with Dr. Streng. Roy was frankly surprised that the man had allowed visitors in the examining room at all. The Colonel would be fighting a losing battle to insist that Edward stay, and for the sake of Maes' scheme to get Edward back into the military, Roy chose not to fight it. Edward would take Roy's side, and a major temper tantrum, especially if someone was injured or medical property destroyed, would make Hughes' plan that much harder to carry out.

"I´ll be fine," Roy reassured with an attempted a smile. Judging from Ed´s expression, he wasn´t very successful. "I´ll see you later."

* * *

By the time the tests were done, Roy was bone tired, and to top it off, Ed had yet to return from wherever Hughes had dragged him off to. Roy had been admitted to a bed in the base infirmary so that he would be kept under observation, and was embarrassed to discover he had fallen asleep before his head hit the pillow. What the hell had happened to his legendary stamina?

He didn't even get the satisfaction of a long, restful slumber. He was soon woken up by a nurse asking him stupid questions, which were no delight to answer when he found that his throat had decided it did not like being strangled and his voice was now raspy and faint. The nurse, who pointed a flashlight into his eyes, was really, really getting on his nerves by the time she decided to leave. He fell asleep again, almost immediately.

And was soon woken up again, by another sadistic nurse with asinine questions and a flashlight.

The third time he was shaken from sleep, this time by Dr. Streng himself, Roy was ready to murder someone. And he probably would have, except the fourth time his sleep was broken, it was by Edward's hand on his arm.

"Hey." The young man looked tired, and positively awkward as he asked, "How're you feelin'?"

Roy couldn't decide whether to take advantage of the situation and play up his injured state or give in to his pride and not show weakness. Then he decided it was too much effort to do either, and only responded with an inarticulate grunt. Let Ed figure out how to interpret that.

He got a similarly expressionless 'huh' as an answer as the young man contemplated something. "Did the doctor tell you the diagnosis?"

"Yes."

Now it didn´t take any effort at all to look miserable. His concussion was mild and his shoulder would recover without surgery, but he was in for a wide range of discomfort starting with a headache, and ending with pain in his stressed shoulder joint and the numerous bruises and scrapes he'd received during the fight. Even talking was predicted to be painful. To top it all off, it appeared he was suffering from retrograde amnesia, as he couldn´t quite recall just which exercises he had done during his morning workout, what he had said to various people throughout the morning, or which documents he had signed that day. He was sure, however, that the stack of files left on his desk was not a small one, and it would grow even larger by the time he returned to his office.

"Huh." Ed said again.

Roy blinked when the younger man suddenly stood up. He opened his mouth to protest, sure that Ed was about to leave, but let it fall shut when he noticed the blond was slipping off his shoes and taking off his belt. The Colonel finally figured it out when the other alchemist sat down on the bedside, and he quickly lifted the covers for Ed. Not sure what to make of this, Roy rather enjoyed the fluttering sensation in his stomach as the blond slipped under the sheet and joined him in bed. Acutely aware of the smaller body next to his, Roy shifted over to give Ed more room. His face suddenly heated when the other alchemist snuggled closer and laid his head down on Roy's uninjured shoulder. The younger man carefully wrapped one arm around his waist and moved one leg over Roy's.

Dumbfounded, the Colonel looked down at the blond strands and found himself slowly relaxing as warm breath gently puffed against his throat. Roy swallowed thickly and couldn´t help but compare this position to the one long time couples took at night.

Roy was not into cuddling. Usually when someone found their way into his bed, it was for sex and only sex. It was something he made clear from the beginning. It wouldn't serve his purpose to blur the lines between sex and affection; they were two entirely different kinds of intimacy, and for Roy, mutually exclusive. He tended to avoid affectionate gestures at all cost.

But while lying here with Edward was not sexual at all, Roy found himself enjoying it. Carefully, he wrapped his own arm around the other man´s shoulders and let his fingers play with the end of the braid. Just because he felt like it, he pulled off the band. The end of the plait unraveled and gave him more golden silk to twist between his fingers. He expected Ed to protest, but he didn´t. Instead, Roy felt Ed lift his head a bit and press a small kiss to the marks on Roy's neck before settling back on Roy's shoulder.

Roy hummed in contentment, ignoring the slight pain from his throat. This time he was sure Ed would still be here when he woke up. He could feel his body relax and his mind start to drift again.

"I´m going to take the job offer here in Central," Edward suddenly announced.

Roy closed his eyes and didn´t even notice when his own lips curved into a smile.

"Good."

* * *

He was woken up again by movement at his side, the warm body beside him reluctantly shifting away. Mind still drifting in that pleasant, heavy feeling of being almost asleep, he cracked open one eye to see Ed getting up from the bed. His tired brain only let him get out a protesting grunt and Edward, looking down at him, smiled fondly.

"I need to go," the blond whispered before he bent down again to give him a quick kiss. "I'll see you later."

Roy summoned up the energy to hum some kind of acknowledgement while his heavy body turned towards that abandoned, but still warm spot beside him. He barely registered Ed's chuckle as his mind was already returning to full sleep, but another kiss to the temple let him return to awareness enough to hear Ed speak.

"I…"

The blond hesitated, the pause stretching long enough for the Colonel to become more alert, opening his eyes to look at the younger man. The moment Ed noticed he was being looked at, a faint blush rose to his cheeks and he bit his lip.

"I´ll see you later," he repeated hastily, and turned away to leave the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

Roy blinked.

Okay, that was… strange.

Turning on his back again, he looked to the ceiling. Sleep took second priority as his mind went over what just happened.

The Colonel mentally reviewed the situation. It appeared that Edward had wanted to say something else, but chickened out at the last moment. An amused smile curled Roy's lips at the thought of the young man scared away by words. He wondered just what the younger alchemist could have wanted to say to make him stammer, blush, and flee.

Roy blamed the concussion for making him so damn slow, but just when he was about to drift off again, his mind finally made the leap. Roy Mustang was certainly not an idiot, but he definitely felt like one when his brain finally connected the dots. He sat up so fast he lost his balance and tumbled out of bed, and the howl of pain echoing through the ward probably woke all the medical staff from their slumber. Roy didn't really care. After all the times they had interrupted his sleep that night, Roy would have thought of it as poetic justice, if he was thinking about it at all.

He wasn't. Edward's odd behavior was the only thing on his mind.

Roy couldn´t be absolutely sure. Maybe he was imagining things. Surely he was. But… there was only one explanation that occurred to Roy which made any sense.

Ed might just have come very close to telling Roy he loved him.

**tbc**

* * *

I know it´s short but I think you rather prefer short to having to wait even longer ._. I hope the bit of fluff (does that up there count? I´m not sure how fluffy it realy is ^^°) makes up for it ^^

Cu

jarna


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